I know, I know it's been forever and I'm sorry! But I'm focusing on this story again and I'll be updating again. I'm not sure how often. I have the next chapter written it just has to be typed, and the whole rest of the story is outlined. I hope you all like it!
Disclaimer: I do not own the hunger games.
Warning
I make it to our room finding Katniss sitting on the bed. Pulling her onto my lap, I hold her close to me; if only that was enough to protect her. Holding her I let my anger fade. Not fade, fade isn't the right word, my anger at the Capitol, at Snow, will always be there right under the surface, I guess I let if fall to the back of my mind.
If it was just about me I would raise hell and cause all kinds of trouble, but it's not. My whole life is sitting here in my arms and I have to find a way to protect her. I'm going to do whatever it takes, even become something I hate.
Our foreheads connect, just taking each other in. Like always we don't need words, we just know. Katniss raises her hand and wipes my cheeks with her thumbs, I hadn't even realized I was crying.
Our lips join together and the only thing that exists is each other. I pull her impossibly close and fall back onto the bed taking her with me.
Together- we can do anything together, I'll never doubt that.
When we wake up we are in district 11 and the tour officially begins. District 11 will be one of the hardest for us because Thresh and Rue were our friends and Rue was our ally.
Since we dread it, it seems to make time go by faster and the next thing I know we are standing in front of a crowd in the middle of the District, holding hands and our pre-written speeches. Our speeches are cold and unfeeling and I know more needs to be said. I can feel the tension in the crowd. Katniss looks at me feeling the same and turns back to the microphone, "Thank you for the bread. Rue and Thresh were our friends and we know that without them we would not be here today." Katniss's voice chokes and a tear slides down her cheek.
"They will never be forgotten." I finish for her.
What happens next must have been planned. A man whistles Rue's tune and everyone in the crowd raises three fingers in salute to us. Peacekeepers push into the crowd and instead of letting them through the crown pushes back. Before we can do anything we are roughly escorted into the justice building. The doors slam behind us and we hear shots fire.
Katniss and I look at each other in horror, is this what Snow calls an uprising? It looks like it to me. Any excitement I would've felt at this development, even days ago, is lost in the horror of what that may mean for us, for my wife.
Katniss clings to me, and I don't hesitate to keep her in my arms.
Haymitch finds us and angrily escorts us to the train.
"You have to do better than that." He gestures outside, "I understand how you feel but you have to let that go. If you want to make it through this trip you'll have to do much better!"
So we practice our speeches and our act for dinners. District to District we give speeches promoting and praising the Capitol. The more we praise them the more I hate them. There's no doubt that we love each other, I don't think anyone ever doubted that. But the speeches of gratefulness and praise of the Capitol and the Games are so over the top they sound fake even to my own ears after practicing them. We don't add anymore comments of our own.
Some Districts have a cattle like feel to them, like District 12 did before this year's reaping; but others we can feel and see the anger. It wouldn't take much to spark a rebellion in these Districts. Nothing we do could stop this, and I don't want to. I want to join them, fire them up. But one look at my wife reminds me why I can't do that. So we say the Capitol speeches and don the Capitol clothes, and smile a Capitol smile. I feel like I have two personalities warring with themselves.
Our nightmares are worse in the train and get progressively worse the closer we get to the Capitol.
The Capitol clothes are not my style but I know Katniss has it worse than I do. I do enjoy her dresses though. I've never seen her so frilly, so girly and I know it's a very calculated look. She stands in front of me now trying to pull down the hem of her skirt, it makes me chuckle and she glares at me which makes me laugh more.
"You know, I kinda like the skirts." I admit.
"I know," she grumbles.
" I think you could like them too." She gives me a look of disbelief.
Pulling her closer I slide my hands up the bare skin of her legs under the skirt, up her thighs. She takes in a sharp breath and blushes just like I knew she would. My hands continue their path until they get to her hips and I lift her onto my lap so she is straddling me. I grip her bottom grinding her center down on me making us both gasp.
When we are outside the train we put on what we call our 'Capitol mask' and inside we are just back to ourselves and we don't waste a minute.
In a few Districts we meet fellow Victor's but in others we don't. If we do meet any it's inside the justice building at dinner and it's only briefly, a shake of hands and an exchange of names. Haymitch mentioned it's because Snow doesn't want us looking close to other Victors.
Everything seems to follow a pattern until we get to District 4. The train was scheduled to leave after the dinner at the justice building but Effie finds us and tells us we'll be spending an extra night in District 4 due to track damage. While this puts Effie into a tailspin we aren't the least bit concerned.
During the dinner we meet Annie, a victor who is said to have gone mad during her games after seeing her District partner beheaded and only won because the arena flooded and she was the best swimmer. Mags, an older victor us with her and only smiles at us as Annie introduces us. We meet another victor, Adian who seems about Haymitch's age. I was hoping to meet Finnick but he is absent. Katniss introduces herself as Katniss Hawthorne and a true smile breaks across my face every time.
Toward the end of the dinner Katniss and I are pulled in two different directions. Immediately, I feel like something is wrong and I start looking for her. Unable to find her I start to panic looking around frantically.
A peacekeeper taps my shoulder, "Mr. Hawthorne, please come with me."
"I need to find my wife first."
"Your wife is safe Mr. Hawthorne, I escorted her myself, now please come with me."but the way he says it leads me to believe she is anything but safe.
With my heart in my throat I follow him out. I lock eyes with Haymitch on the way out and he immediately makes his way from the room in the other direction. This is not good.
They lead me to an office and in the desk is a video of president Snow.
"Where is my wife?" I ask between gritted teeth.
He chuckles, "I take it we are skipping the pleasantries Mr Hawthorne?"
I glare at him in response.
"Very well. After district 11 you were acceptable at best. You can do better. So I thought I'd give you a warning, something to influence you."
"Where is she?" I ask again, already guessing the answer but wishing it's not true. We aren't even in the Capitol.
"Don't worry, she'll be returned to you by the morning, unharmed or mostly so. The gentleman she is with isn't into to anything too drastic. I won't always be so kind."
A level of horror I've never felt before washes over me and I sink to my knees in agony. This can't be happening- this can't be real. But it is.
"And don't worry, I won't make it public- this time. Next time may be different. I suggest you try harder Mr Hawthorne, or this will become a habit of your wife's." He chuckles, "it would be a shame if you couldn't satisfy her."
I lunge for the screen as if I could really get my hands on him but Peacekeepers pull me back out of the room while Snow laughs taking great enjoyment out if my misery. But I know what I'm feeling has nothing on what Katniss is going through. The Peacekeepers bring me back to our room to wait for Katniss. One if them gives me a look of pity. As the door closes I punch the wall as hard as I can leaving a nice size hole slumping to the ground in defeat and despair.
This makes me want to do anything but follow his orders. It makes me want to kill him slowly, to light his whole city on fire. This is my worst nightmare. My wife, my pure wife who still blushes with me is somewhere being forced by another man and there is nothing I can do but wait.
I have failed her.
I've never felt so powerless.
An hour later the door opens and I jump up hoping it's Katniss. But of course it's not. Instead my eyes meet the green eyes if Annie Cresta.
"What do you want?" I ask. I'm really not in the mood to be nice to anyone, even if it's not Annie's fault.
Annie takes a disc from her pocket the same one that Haymitch has. She turns it on and it flashes red, then green. I wonder where they get these things, it would be handy to have one.
"It's a setup." She tells me
"What?" I ask instantly alarmed.
"No, no, no. Not like that. They arranged it so the person who bought her wouldn't touch her, although in this case it wasn't bought so much as coerced."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean he's not going to touch her, just make Snow think he did."
Is she serious? "Are you sure? How do you know?"
"Yes. She is safe but you have to act like it really happened."
"She's safe?"
"Yes." Annie smiles at me, "she's with my fiance, at his house. I came to tell you because I know how it feels."
"Who is your fiance?"
"Finnick Odair." She smiles saying his name.
So this is who Snow threatens him with I'm guessing.
"Thank you Annie." I run my hands through my hair forcing a deep breath.
She suddenly snaps her eyes closed flinching, rocking backwards.
"Annie? Are you okay?"
"Bleeding, your bleeding."
I look down and notice for the first time my hand is bleeding from punching the wall.
Annie mumbles to herself shaking her head, eyes still closed.
"It's okay Annie, I'll be right back." I go to the bathroom and quickly wash and bandage my hand i cover the blood in the rug with a towel and kneel in front of her.
"There's no more blood Annie." She must be having a flashback, "you're here in my room with me, Gale Hawthorne remember? You came to tell me about my wife."
"Katniss." She says slowly opening her eyes. I can almost see her coming back to the moment. "I'm sorry." She says starting to shake.
Smiling gently trying to be reassuring, "nothing to be sorry about- it happens."
She stops shaking, surprised and regards me carefully, "most people just say I'm crazy."
I shrug, "we're all a little crazy after the games, it just affects us all differently."
"I think you will like Finnick."
"Well I'm grateful to him right now. I think you would like Katniss." Katniss would like her, she would like her quirkiness, she'd want to protect her.
"I already do." She looks unsure suddenly, "the Capitol can be very cruel, and I know Finnick doesn't even tell me the worst of it, but don't give up."
A knock comes on the door and it opens, "shift change in 5 minutes Annie." Then closes.
"That's Greg, a peacekeeper, he's on our side."
"Our side?"
"Yes." Is her only answer.
"Thank you for telling me, you just made me a lot less miserable."
"Good. I know how it feels."
She must. "I think you're stronger than anyone gives you credit for Annie." She rocks back on her heels and forward again, she's stronger in a different way.
She smiles.
"Thank Finnick for me."
She nods, "you'll see him at breakfast tomorrow. Katniss will be back at midnight." She slips out the door.