Chapter 21
Skipper Rorac opened his eyes.
He was in the infirmary again, laying atop one of the warm, soft, comfortable beds. It appeared to be about noontime, judging by the bright light filtering in through the windows. The otter stared for a moment up at the red sandstone ceiling before giving a deep, well-rested sigh, taking in the scent of the bed's clean white linen. He made to stretch his limbs...
...except he couldn't move them.
Blinking, Skipper realized that his arms were once again folded beneath him, tied with a strong rope. His ankles and rudder were tied together as well. The otter tried to cry out, only to find that a thick cloth had been tied around his mouth again.
Another blink later, and Rasouk was leaning over him, a smirk visible on his leering face. "You know our agreement," the devious fox said, his smirk becoming a wolfish grin. "You feed me with what the abbey feeds you. So you know what that means."
Rasouk raised his arm... which suddenly transformed into the same exact arm that wildcat had: striped, tawny, with long, razor-sharp claws.
"Its time to cut that belly open!"
The claws came flying down, sank into Skipper's midriff-
-and he opened his eyes again.
Breathing hard, the Skipper of otters raised his head and shoulders - and doubled back in pain.
"Hey, hey there," said a concerned voice. "Calm down. Calm down. Skip, you've gotta take it easy. You just had your chest ripped into!"
Laying his head back down on the pillow, the otter saw that he wasn't in the infirmary after all, but in the gatehouse of all places. Sitting next to him on a chair and carefully holding his bandaged arm was none other than Miru, whose blue eyes were still soothing, and his smile still reassuring.
Taking a few more deep breaths, Skipper asked in a raspy voice, "Why are we in the gatehouse?"
"That was Sister Grace's idea, I think," explained Miru, fluffing the otter's pillow and adjusting the blankets. "They sent a few otters and Rocc up ahead to warn the abbeybeasts, so she figured that we'd save time by just bringing you in here instead of all the way up to the infirmary. I think she was right to do that, too. Grace and her helpers worked on you all night, y'know. Fixing you up. Just like I said they would, remember?"
It took a moment for the otter to remember... before his eyes widened slightly.
All of what happened came rushing back to him: getting mauled by a colossal wildcat with teeth and claws as sharp as knives... and right before he saw the very same wildcat pinning a frail, weakly crying Miru to the ground...
"Oh... yeah..." he said quietly, his eyes darkening.
The mere sight of his little mate getting attacked by a creature of that monstrosity... that it actually dared to touch him, to even go near him... Skipper had never felt such rage...
No, I have.
He had felt that angry before... and it cost him dearly.
A moment passed, with the otter chieftain laying quietly with his brow furrowed, while the pine marten paused in smoothing out the blankets. Miru then ran a tender paw through Skipper's headfur, tousling it around the bandage. The otter certainly had a lot of bandages; on his head, on his neck, on his shoulders, on his arms, his chest, his back, legs, tail...
"I said we were going to get you back to the abbey, and that you were going to be alright, didn't I, Skip?" the pine marten continued, trying not to think of all the scars that the white wraps hid. "And I was right, wasn't I? Here you are, Skip, and..." he choked, and ended in a weaker voice, "I was right."
Another moment, and Miru was soon struggling to keep himself from falling apart.
"I was so scared!" he burst out, gripping the otter's paw as the whites of his eyes turned red. "I thought I was going to lose you. I thought you were going to be killed! I thought that..." But he couldn't go on.
Skipper stared at the marten before placing his other paw over Mirus' in as firm and as gentle a grip as he could. "You're not going to lose me, mate. You're not going to. Because I promise," he paused, blinking back his own tears and shallowing the lump in his throat. "I promise... that I will always be with you.
"Always."
Miru sniffled, smiled, and replied, "Always."
The two held each others' gazes for yet another moment before their tears gave way to laughter. They giggled and chortled like had never laughed before, and Miru wished he could hug his friend, but was too afraid of causing any more damage. But that didn't matter, for soon there was knocking at the door.
"Come in," the chuckling pine marten called.
The door opened partially, and the heads of Abbot Fir and Streamsleek poked in.
"Good morning," the abbot said pleasantly. "Just wanted to pop in and see how the patient was fairing. Ah, Skipper, I see you are awake. Feeling any better?"
"Nothin' a bit of breakfast won't cure," was the smiling reply.
"Well, its a good thing I decided to bring you a tray then," said the voice of Sister Grace, and the kindly hogwife came bustling into the gatehouse, causing Fir and Streamsleek to jump forward, lest they be pricked by her spines. Following the Infirmary sister were Marok, Rocc and Soilburr, who shut the door behind them.
Miru smiled at the sight of all of them. He had found himself growing quite fond of these beasts. Grace settled the tray of porridge, pancakes, and greensap milk over Rorac's chest while the others found other places to sit. The abbot nestled down into an armchair with Marok perched on the left armrest. Rocc and Soilburr made themselves comfortable on the floor while Streamsleek sat back on his rudder. Grace fussed about with the tray, making certain it was stable and not touching any of Skipper's wounds. Miru reached over, took the cup of milk and held it to Skipper's lips.
"There you are," the young marten gently teased. "Just like how you used to do with me, eh?"
The otter chuckled and accepted the drink. After taking a good sip, Rorac let out a sigh. "Ahh, now this is the life. Gettin' waited on by everybeast and not having to get out of bed or raise your own paws to feed yourself. No wonder you were always gettin' sick, Miru!"
Everybeast laughed, including the pine marten. Sister Grace went and occupied the gatehouse's second armchair as Miru picked up the porridge bowl and began spoon-feeding Rorac.
"Ah, lookit the mighty warrior," grinned Streamsleek. "All laid out as if he were a princess!"
"And you wish you were a princess," retorted a grinning Skipper before taking a spoonful of porridge.
"Hurr, ee gurt woildcat were no princesser, boi okey!" put in Soilburr, drumming his digging claws.
Miru paused for a moment before giving Skipper another spoonful.
"I've never even seen a wildcat, except in the tapestries, and in the pictures in the books," commented Rocc. "Never thought they'd be so... wild."
Swallowing his food, Skipper said to Streamsleek in a serious tone, "What became of the wildcat? Do you know?"
"Sadly, no," the other otter replied grimly, crossing his arms.
Miru looked up. His brow furrowed at the news; Zurzak was still out there, alive?
Streamsleek went on. "There were some who went chasing after him, but most of us were set on gettin' you back to the abbey. The others came back some hours after we got you here. Said the cat managed to outrun them, though they were able to follow his path by trailing the blood spots and the pawprints, but after awhile those seemed to disappear. They couldn't find one lick o' blood or one trace of a pawprint. Like the wildcat was a phantom or something."
An apt description, Miru thought darkly, stirring the porridge a little too forcefully.
"How do you suppose he could have done that? Hide his tracks and stop his own bleeding so soon?" Abbot Fir asked after a moment.
"Well, either he must've found all his cuts and managed to cover them up, once he got ahead of the otters, and then was more careful about leaving tracks. Probably just grabbed a branch and brushed the ground after him. It's the only logical thing I can think of, Skip, or... he really was a phantom," Steamsleek added, though he didn't look to be joking.
"Certainly seemed like a phantom, that one did," said Marok. "I thought I'd turn into a jelly once I saw it comin' at me. Thank goodness my body seemed to be acting for me when I swung the sword."
"That's right," said Miru suddenly, looking up at the mouse. "I never thanked you for what you did. If it wasn't for you, that wildcat would've carried me off."
"Ah, think nothing of it," grinned Marok. "You're one of us now, and we all look out for each other."
"But there is one thing that has been on my mind, Skipper," Abbot Fir said, peering closely at the otter. "I wasn't able to ask you before for obvious reasons, but... just what exactly were you doing out there in Mossflower Woods in the first place? And why did you take the sword of Martin? Why did you not tell anybeast about what you were doing?"
Now all eyes were on Skipper. None of the other creatures made a sound; they too had been wondering these exact same things. Except for Miru, who had forgotten all about the reasons why he himself had been out there in the woods. But now, thanks to the abbot's reminder, he was also wondering why Skipper had left the abbey with Martin's sword. And why he hadn't told anybeast, not even Miru, where he was going.
Skipper swallowed the porridge that was already in his mouth. His face seemed... odd, and somewhat thoughtful, as though trying to remember something from long ago. For awhile he was silent, before saying, "Honestly, I'm not entirely sure why."
A few glances were exchanged around the room. This hadn't been the answer any of them had been hoping for.
"How is that so, Skipper?" questioned the abbot.
"I just..." The otter paused, again seeming to be recalling a distant memory... or perhaps thinking up some plausible excuse. "I... I seem to remember... having a vision... from Martin the Warrior."
More glances were exchanged, this time of surprise and awe.
"From Martin the Warrior?" the abbot repeated as everybeast leaned forward eagerly.
"Yes," nodded Skipper. He kept his eyes from meeting anybeasts', Miru noticed. "It was... I'm not sure when it happened. I just remember being at the feast, enjoying myself, and then... then I walked inside, to see how things were going on in there... and that's when it seemed like I was receiving some kind of message from Martin."
"What kind of message?" Marok wanted to know.
"I don't think I can remember all of it. All I can remember is that the gist of his message was that there was something... evil... outside the abbey. And then the next thing I know, I'm taking the sword of Martin down, walking across the lawns and out the main gates with it. Then I was just prowling around, looking all over for whatever evil this may be."
"And you found it."
This was said by Miru, who was staring at Skipper with intence wide eyes.
"So, that explains it," said Abbot Fir, folding his paws. "You were warned by Martin about this wildcat, I'm sure that's what he meant. And then you went to go and deal with it. I understand now. Though Skipper, you should not have gone out by yourself! At least not without letting somebeast know where you were going."
"I wasn't thinking straight, Father Abbot," the otter said apologetically. He really did look like he was sorry to have caused everybeast such worry. "I suppose my head was still in a haze after Martin spoke to me."
"Its strange," said Sister Grace. "I've often read of the accounts when a beast is contacted by the Warrior, and nothing like this has ever happened before."
"Well, whatever the reason," said Abbot Fir, standing up. "I think we must take Martin's advice and be wary."
"Aye, that we should be, Father Abbot," agreed Streamsleek, also getting to his footpaws. "I'll take charge while you recover, Skip. I'll have some otters patrol the walltops while some of our best trackers can go out and see if they can find any trace of the wildcat, and make certain he doesn't harm anybeast again."
"Yes, that all seems good," Rorac nodded. "And you young uns," he added to Marok, Rocc, and Soilburr. "Make certain to stay inside the abbey, and help keep everybeast else safe. Especially you, Miru. I don't want to hear about you going anywhere near outside, y'hear me? I couldn't help but notice that wildcat takin' particular interest in you."
"I've no intention of going anywhere, Skip," said Miru, his voice soft and serious. "Now let's get you started on your pancakes, they're starting to cool."
Summer wore on, and no trace of the mysterious wildcat had been found. The trackers were baffled that such a large, bleeding animal could hide himself so well, but as autumn started to approach, everybeast began to agree that maybe perhaps the so-called phantom had gone.
This suited well with Miru, who had been trying not to have nightmares again over his encounter. He even gladly would have forgotten about the whole incident, if everybeast would stop asking him so many questions about it. At first it was eager youngbeasts who wanted to know what it was like, being chased down by a mad wildcat. Which was absurd, in Miru's opinion. Who would want to know something like that? Thank goodness the attention was divided between him and Marok, Rocc and Soilburr, otherwise the pine marten would've found himself bombarded with questions.
And then there were the sympathetic oldbeasts who seemed to guess he was severely traumatized over the event, and kept on telling him that "it was alright", which irritated him. He just wanted to forget it, couldn't any of them understand that? He wouldn't be able to do that if they stopped reminding him of!
And if that weren't bad enough, the dibbuns started playacting a fight scene with the mouse, Trubb, dressed up as a wildcat. This was disturbing to Miru, but at the same time, he knew they couldn't help it, none of the abbeybeasts could. It wasn't their fault they didn't understand, that they had never had to endure things like he had.
And hopefully they never would.
The only beast who seemed to understand the marten's need to forget was Skipper, who avoided any talk of the incident, though Miru could tell he was growing bored with laying around in the gatehouse all the time.
"Its all just flesh wounds, aren't they?" the otter complained. "Why can't I get up, or at least be moved to the infirmary? It'd be a nice change of scenery instead of this old dust-mine."
"They don't want to take any chances," said Miru, holding out a spoon filled with vegetable soup.
Skipper kept his mouth well away from the spoon so he could continue his tirade. "It ain't right, me lyin' around while we've got walltops to patrol! I oughta be out there, givin' commands an' the like."
"Streamsleek is doing is a wonderful job for you, so you don't have anything to worry about."
"Oh yes, I do! Streamsleek's my second-in-command! He might get a taste for bossin' all the other otters around, and try to usurp my title."
"Now that's silly, there's no other otter than can be as good a Skipper as you. Now drink up your soup, waterdog! Its good for you."
"Haharr, our roles have really reversed, haven't they?" grinned Skipper before finally taking the proffered soup.
"Yes, they have," smiled the pine marten. "You're lying in bed while I'm doing the feeding. Only I think you're a much better patient than I was. At least where the eating is concerned. Only I don't think I complained as much about lying around all day."
"That's 'cause you're a lazy type of creature, little mate!" laughed Skip. "Ah, but I hope Sister Grace lets me up soon. All this layin' around, doing nothin' but eating... by the time autumn starts, I'll have a great big ring of fat around my middle!"
Miru laughed at the thought, feeding the otter some more soup. He didn't think the otter had much to worry about, though, as he was still quite fit-looking, even after staying in bed for so long.
"Mmh, and speaking of eating," Skipper said once he swallowed, "you're lookin' a little thin, lately, mate. You haven't been skipping out on meals, have you?"
"Don't be ridiculous," said Miru, ignoring the fact that the otter had guessed right; that ever since laying eyes on Zurzak had taken away a great deal of his appetite. "Its all this running around doing things for you that's making me lose weight."
"Well, try eating a little more and running around a little less. I wouldn't want you to get stick-thin again like before. You looked terrible."
"Gee, thank you."
"No, I mean it. Over the last season or two you gained weight and looked better, a lot healthier. Now you're lookin'..."
The otter didn't fiinish, and Miru knew why. They were drawing close to the incident with Zurzak. Skipper had guessed the real reason why Miru wasn't eating. The otter reached over and placed a paw over the marten's.
"Ahem, anyway," Skipper continued somewhat awkwardly. "I, uh, wonder when Sister Grace'll let me outta my bandages. I'd love to go for a good swim in the pond before it freezes over!"
Miru managed a smile. "She said she thinks the day after tomorrow would be a good time."
"What? That's way too long, this is getting ridiculous. I'm not that banged up, I've got to get out of here sooner!"
"Its just two more days, Skip. What harm'll that do you? Now finish up your soup."
Skipper knew it had been sometime since he had delivered to Rasouk. That was the real reason why he was so anxious. He wanted to hurry and get some food to the fox before he, Rasouk, got impatient. But then again, he did learn that the fox had been given a rather sizeable bag of leftovers from the feast. So the otter supposed that Rasouk was well-supplied enough to wait for awhile longer before Skip's next visit.
"There we are," said Miru, placing the now-empty bowl back on the tray. "Now I've got to take this all back to the kitchens and clean it all up. You just stay there and rest, okay?"
"Aye, aye, cap'n," grinned Skipper, nestling comfortably on the bed.
The pine marten gathered up the utensil-laden tray and headed towards the gatehouse door.
"Oh, I almost forgot," Miru said as he balanced the tray on one paw in order to use the other to open the door. "You remember that one fox that visited during the feast? He came by earlier while you were sleeping. Said he wanted to see if you were fairing any better, and to return the sack he'd borrowed from the abbey. Apparently he finished all of its contents already. Didn't stay long, though. He said he wanted to keep on the move with a wildcat on the loose. Streamsleek offered him room at the abbey, but he said he preferred living on his own, and that was it. He was off. Bit of a funny creature, that one, but he seems nice enough. Well, I'm off to the kitchen. One thing I'm not liking about being your nursemaid, Skipper, is having to wash every single dish you eat off of. But oh well. See you in a few minutes, Skip. Rest easy."
The marten opened and closed the door, and was gone. He didn't notice once the expression on the otter's face.
There was no way now that he could rest easy.
Skipper knew that was Rasouk's signal to come with more food, it had to be. He was trying to tell the otter that he wanted him to come soon... perhaps tonight! Propping himself up, Skipper found to his relief that he wasn't nearly as sore as the other times he'd tried to get up. He gingerly got out of bed, and was gladdened to find that he could stand. Taking a few experimental steps, he realized he could walk again.
That settled it. He was going to Rasouk's tonight.
The going wasn't as easy as he had hoped it would be. Weeks of laying around all day and all night had stiffened and softened the otter. There was also the fact that he was still wrapped up in his bandages, but at least they didn't impede his movement that much. And it certainly felt good to be up and about again. Even if it was to appease the appetite of some greedy fox.
Thankfully the going wasn't very difficult, either. After making certain that Miru was asleep on the little truckle bed that one of the otters had brought down from the infirmary, Skipper made his move to exit the gatehouse. Easing out of bed and tippawing over towards the door, the otter took extra special care in opening and closing it without making a sound. Seasons of practice helped him during this moment, though there was always the chance that the pine marten would be awakened by Skipper's hammering heart.
But Miru did not heart Skipper's heart, and the otter was able to leave the gatehouse without incident. After that, it was off to the kitchens to gather up some food like always, pack it up into a haversack, and hurry across the lawns towards the little wall-gate. All the while hoping he wouldn't run into anybeast that was still awake.
Scanning the walltops, the otter saw that there were no sentries posted. On any other day, Skipper would've been furious that Streamsleek had slackened the abbey's security. But tonight, the otter chieftain could have kissed his second-in-command for doing such a thing.
Once he was through the wallgate and made certain it locked behind him, the otter was away into the woods like a shot. Ah, to be out jogging again. It was refreshing after being forced to lay around that dusty gatehouse for countless weeks. Though he still had to keep a careful eye and a keen nose out for anybeast that may be watching him. Especially a wildcat.
Then again, with the way the moonlight is shining off these bandages, he might see me and think I'm a ghost. He'll probably end up running away from me.
It took him longer to get there, but Rorac finally found himself at the entrance of the fox's burrow, and with nary a sight or smell of any other creature around. Perfect, things were going smoothly.
Kneeling down carefully, the otter called out softly, "Rasouk?"
For a brief moment, there was no reply.
Then he heard the fox's voice, "Get in."
Skipper complied, slipping into the hole and making his way down through the tunnel. He could see a light at the end of the tunnel. Good, hopefully that meant Rasouk wasn't going to play any more tricks tonight.
The otter reached the end of the tunnel and entered into the room-sized den-
Whump!
-something large and heavy jumped on him, forcing him to the ground.
For a split second, the annoyed otter thought Rasouk was doing his tired game of "seeing who it was"... until he realized that the creature on top of him was too big to be Rasouk.
Matter of fact, he suddenly felt as if two creatures were on top of him!
Panicking, the otter tried to fight his attackers off, but his arms, legs and rudder were already seized in vice-like grips, and rope was being coiled around them. Grunting and snarling, Rorac tried to break free, tried to slip out of his restraints, but within a matter of seconds he was tightly bound.
"Grra-" The otter was cut off as a thick cloth was pulled over his mouth, forcing him to breathe through his nose.
Which caused him to take in the scent of a wildcat.
"Rememeber me, waterdog?" A cold, hissing voice sounded in the otter's ear. "That wildcat that you chose to cross swords with? I'm sure you do, I'm not a creature one forgets easily. Ah, I see those scars have healed up. Well, don't try anything now, or I'll re-open them."
His heart hammering, a cold sweat overtaking him, Skipper groaned in confusion, anger, and fear. Why was this happening? What was going on? What-
"Don't try to move, Skip," came the voice of Rasouk. Oddly, the fox's almost-sad voice carried the slightest apologetic tone.
Anger became the primary emotion in the otter, followed closely by confusion. What kind of game was this?
But then he heard Rasouk say,
"He knows."
Skipper froze.
What? ...No, no, he couldn't, he... he, Skipper, must have misheard...
"Yes... I know," the wildcat's voice growled softly. "I know everything, Skipper Rorac. I know every single little detail. And I have to say, I am very disgusted. At you. Disgusted... and stunned. Very stunned, in fact. It amazes me that it is you whom these... these Redwallers, have deemed a hero. Whereas I, I, am labled a monster. A villain. A fiend. A threat. A monster." The wildcat's growl became harsher, and closer to Skipper's ear. "And we both know who the real monster is here, don't we?"
Skipper then felt himself roughly rolled over on his back so that he could see a pair of green slitted eyes blazing down at him.
"Don't we?"
The otter squeezed his eyes shut, turning his head to the side - only for his chin to be seized and forced upwards again.
"Look at me," the wildcat commanded, his voice a snarl. "Open your eyes, open them!"
Trembling, feeling tears forming in the corners, Skipper opened his eyes. Those yellow-green eyes were so close he could see the lantern's light reflected in them.
"Now we are going to have ourselves a little discussion," the wildcat whispered. "And I want full cooperation from you, understand? Otherwise things will go quite disastrously for you."
Three cloaked figured walked through the moonlit Mossflower Woods. They walked in a straight line, one behind the other instead of side by side. The trio created an eerie sight: three wraith-like beings out prowling around in the dead of night. Any observer most likely would have huddled in a secret watching place and waited for them to leave.
A more observant watcher would have noticed that the three wraiths were simply three animals. The first, and the shortest, was easily identified as a fox, draped in a fine reddish cloak. The second creature seemed to be a mustelid of some kind, either an otter or a very tall ferret. He was clad in a patched greenish-brown cloak with the hood pulled over his face far more than the others. The third, and the tallest, was a wildcat, swathed in black.
Although there wasn't anything particularly special about the fox or the wildcat, the creature in the middle moved awkwardly, taking slow, careful steps. This was because Skipper's ankles had been tied so that he could walk, but not run. His tail was also tied to his ankles so that he could not use it at all. His arms were still bound behind his back as well, and his hood was pulled over his face to hide the fact that he was gagged.
Two ropes snaked out from beneath the otter's cloak as well. One of the ropes' end was tied to his ankles, while the other end was held by Rasouk under his own cloak. The second rope was attached to Rorac's wrists with the other end held by Zurzak under his cloak. There was no way for the otter to escape. He could only walk on forward, back towards the abbey, a place he never thought he would loathe to go.
Within less time than Skipper would have liked, the threesome was standing at the edge of the woods, facing the southern wall of Redwall Abbey.
Both Rasouk and Zurzak took careful sniffs and scanned the area before nodding to each other and herding their prisoner right up to the wallgate. Skipper was then seized by his shoulders and whirled around to face the wildcat, whose eyes seemed to glow in the moonlight. He turned away, unable to gaze into those horrible eyes, but Zurzak grabbed his chin and jerked his face forward.
"Now," the wildcat hissed, his rancid breath filling the otter's nostrils. "Let's go over what we have agreed to, eh? First, we are going to untie your paws, and you are going to unlock the gate, just like all those other times you have. And then we will untie your ankles and take off your cloak and gag, and you will go inside. After that, you then go and retrieve the marten whom you've been calling 'Miru'. Remember, his name is not 'Miru', it is Dernwyn. He has been lying to you this whole time, just using you. And then, after you wake him up, you will bring him out here, place him into our care, and you will shut the gate.
"And don't think about doing anything contrary," Zurzak added harshly, bringing his face closer so that their noses touched. "If you think about simply locking us out of the abbey, just remember that you won't be able to keep the Redwallers from hearing our voices. We will scream from dawn until dusk the things that you have done, and there will be no way to silence us, and no way to hide your guilt. Not this time.
"Also, don't try to alert any of your otters of our presence. That will not solve anything, because even you do manage to kill us before we can tell them anything, you will still know that Dernwyn is still within the clutches of a monster. You. He will not be safe with you, you know that. I know you care a great deal for him, so we both know this is for the best. You must do all of this, and do all you can to keep the Redwallers from finding him again. And remember, you must keep your promise with Rasouk here. Unlike me, you can still keep him quiet by throwing him goodies.
"Now... do we have an understanding?"
Skipper swallowed. He didn't want this to be happening. He didn't want to be listening to this. He didn't want to follow any more orders...
...and yet he knew he had no choice.
The otter slowly nodded his head.
In the next few moments, his wrists were untied, and Skipper was unlocking the gate so he could get back inside. His paws were trembling, so it took longer than it normally would. Finally, once the gate opened a little, his ankles and rudder were released from their bonds, and his cloak and gag were removed before he was shoved forward onto the abbey grounds. The otter quickly shut the gate behind him, locking it. He didn't want to take any chances in case the wildcat changed his mind about coming into the abbey himself.
His knees were shaking, his head was aching, his stomach was twisted up in knots far tighter than the ropes that had previously been on his arms. This couldn't be happening, it couldn't be...
Rorac lifted his head to see the gatehouse bathed in moonlight... and saw that there was a light in the window!
Gasping, the terrified otter nearly stumbled back. He hadn't expected anybeast to be awake... was Miru alone in the gatehouse? Were Streamsleek and the abbot with him? Had he alerted them to Skipper's absense? Was...
Not for many seasons had Skipper Rorac shaken so much. He knew he couldn't just stand there, quaking like a leaf in the wind. He had to go in there and face whoever was awake. Without feeling his legs, the otter made his way over to the gatehouse, and carefully opened the door.
To be faced by the wide blue eyes of Miru.
No, Dernwyn.
The pine marten gasped and hurried forward. "Where were you? I woke up and you weren't there anymore! I nearly went crazy, I had no idea where you were. Where did you go? Don't tell me you had another vision from Martin? Surely he'd speak to somebeast who wasn't in your condition?" Miru paused, looking up at the hollow look in the otter's eyes. "Skip? ...Skip, what is it? Are you okay, are you hurt? Here, sit down."
The marten led his friend over to the bed where he sat him down. Miru sat before the otter, looking him over.
"You don't look like you have any news scars. What is it? Where were you? Aren't you going to answer me?"
Skipper looked down at the younger animal kneeling before him. His chest seemed to burn... his heart seemed to swell...
...How could he possibly go on like this?
"Skip?" Miru said softly, beginning to look afraid. "Skip, what is it? Please, answer me! Tell me, what happened? Please!"
"...I know."
The marten blinked, puzzled. "Wh-what do you mean?" he asked, shaking his head. "What do you know?"
"Your name."
The marten stared. Then he blinked, and said, "W-why of course you know-"
"Dernwyn."
Silence.
Deep silence.
Skinny paws began to shake. "What?"
"Dernwyn. That's your name."
Miru swallowed. He stared, unable to look away from those sad, tortured dark eyes.
"Who... who..."
"The wildcat. Zurzak. I met him tonight."
"...Why? How...?"
"I met him when I was taking some food from the kitchens to a fox's burrow. Zurzak was waiting there with the fox, and he spoke to me. Told me everything. He's waiting outside the abbey right now, waiting for me to take you to him, but I don't want to. I'm not going to."
Dernwyn's... Miru's... heart seemed to freeze and burn at the same time. His whole body trembled like never before. Everything had taken on a surreal feeling. Nothing seemed to be real at the moment.
"Then... then... what are you going to do?" he asked, trying to keep himself as calm as he possibly could.
Skipper stared down at the marten for a moment before saying, "I have to tell you my secret. That's the only way out of this."
Miru blinked again. "What... what secret?"
"The secret I've been keeping from you. The secret I've been keeping from my crew, from the whole abbey, from all of Mossflower. Miru... Dernwyn... Miru... I'm a coward. And a monster. No, don't try to say anything, please, just let me get it all out."
The otter paused, gathering himself.
Miru waited, all the air in his body gathering into his chest and throat.
"I killed somebeast."
The pine marten stared for a moment.
Then he said, with a small, desperate smile, "Oh, Skip, I already know that. I mean, I've heard about all the battles and skirmishes you've been in. Of course you've had to kill a beast or two in self-defense-"
"No," said Skipper, slowly shaking his head. "It wasn't in battle. It wasn't in a skirmish. It wasn't even in self-defense. Miru...
"...I killed... a child."