Cross Ice

by La-Reina-Crimrose

Snow Hisayuki moves to the mysterious "Lost City" of Akutetsu in search of closure for a damaging past she could never truly overcome. When she becomes faced with pure magic, friendships she feels she doesn't deserve, and the burden of her first love, she realizes just how much of her life she lost to despair. However, she soon realizes that she holds a deadly mystery of her own...

21. Chapter XIX- A New Dream

Since it's Christmas, I decided to FINALLY UPLOAD THIS GODFORSAKEN THING. IT'S BEEN SITTING AROUND HALF-TYPED, HALF-HANDWRITTEN FOR MONTHS NOW I AM SO SORRY.

In case you were wondering what took so long, I've got a few excuses this time that seem legit: Crim got two jobs. Crim is in her last year of high school. Crim got accepted into the top university in her province. Crim plays too many video games.

Okay, so the last one wasn't exactly legit, but most of you know where I'm coming from with that.

ANYWHO SO I'M SO SORRY AGAIN FOR THE DELAY, AND I HOPE ALL OF YOU HAD A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS. AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

~Crimrose

Chapter XIX

A New Dream

I believed it was easy to understand why I thought it had all been a dream when I woke up in my own bed.

The morning was like any other; sunlight streamed in through my curtains, strangely brighter than usual, my Shugo Chara were snoring peacefully in their basket, I was lying curled up on my side in my bed like I always did. But a few key details stuck out in my mind that reminded me how real that little excursion to Hell was. For one thing, my nightgown was covered in mud, tears, and blood. My hair was a mess of white down that no amount of brushing could calm down. I felt like I had a ragining hangover even though I hardly drank, a thundering drumbeat right on my temples and a crick in my neck that I couldn't crack out. My eyes were burning with exhaustion since we had arrived back at the apartments pretty late last night, and I got about three hours of sleep, constantly barraged by nightmares that very well could have been real.

We came back from Hell the same way we got there: Lee- or rather, Uncle Lee, as he now insisted I called him- whipped out the same knife he'd used before to slash a rift in the world. When I asked him about it, he explained that it was a very particular blade only incredibly high-ranking demons had access to for travelling to the mortal realm without possessing a human body. Only he and he other leaders of the cardinal regions of Hell- Gehenna being one- had access to it, along with Lucifer himself. Essentially, it was a pretty big deal to just hop between realms as easily as he did, and we got back without another scratch on me. I'd been so self-absorbed about going to Hell for the first time and coming face-to-face with demons that I hadn't thought about how my Shugo Chara must've felt, unsure and alone. The moment I fell to the ground in the woods somewhere around Akutetsu, right by the rowan tree, they threw themselves at me, sobbing out apologies and their tears wetting my neck. Too shocked to respond at first, I merely sat there for a moment, then wrapped them in an embrace as tight as I could manage without crushing them. They were my home, my comfort, my solidarity for the time being. And having them with me made me feel much more secure.

"I'm so sorry," I told them, an apology always hard for me to force out. "You must've been scared, here all by yourselves."

"Of course we were!" Lilith wailed, golden eyes blazing. "There are big animals out here, you know! Not to mention forest-dwelling demons! We thought we were gonna die!"

My eyes burned. "Sorry," I mumbled again, hanging my head and furrowing my brows.

"You're forgiven," Satsuki whispered, curling herself in the palm of my hand against my chest.

"Not so fast," Vivian said, though she hardly sounded as gruff as she usually did with her voice hoarse and aggravated. "You can't forgive her that easily, or she could do it again."

"But we lied to her. We basically left her all alone emotionally."

"We could've died, out here all by ourselves!"

"She's going to eventually, and we didn't even bother telling her!"

Their small shots at each other eventually turned into a full-on brawl on the forest floor, tumbling through leaves that covered them like blankets and caked in soil. I sat there numbly, watching them struggle with each other, sensing the presence of Uncle Lee and Ivalthea behind me, watching and judging. They were screaming at each other, clawing, pulling hair, until I finally said, "It's okay."

"Huh?" Lilith demanded, her voice its usual gruff, rude pitch.

"It's okay that you lied," I told them, my confidence in my words building as I kept speaking. "I can understand why you did it, and that it was for my sake in the end. And thank you for worrying about me." I tried to summon up a smile, but even the muscles in my face felt tired, and could only manage to soften the corners of my eyes a bit. "I'm sorry for treating you that way when all you did was try to protect me."

"Who the hell are you?" Vivian demanded as she forced her sisters behind her and began backing up cautiously.

I shrugged half-heartedly. "I'm not sure anymore. But I hope you'll continue to help me find out."

Uncle Lee said we were returning on foot, and I prayed he was coming home as well, otherwise I would have been lost in the woods for God knows how long. But before I could voice my worries, he had crouched forward and held his arms open, signalling for me to get on his back. I didn't even bother complaining as I nearly collapsed on him, while he showed no signs of bearing the weight of a one hundred and twenty-seven pound teenager on his back, my Shugo Chara clinging onto my hair for the ride. The scenery blurred by in the same manner as if I was looking out a car window, but I felt the firm thud of his feet against the pavement, felt the wind lashing at my face, the vertigo from experiencing it all first hand. Though by the time he slowed to a walk and began taking the elevator up to our floor, I had fallen asleep on his back, nuzzled against his shorter, human hair to the comforting smell of the biting winter and fresh rain.

He must have carried me back into my own room as he had the night he'd saved me from the imps if I was waking up in my own bed. I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes, trying to chase the nigtmares away, bring life back into myself. I really needed a shower, and to get my thoughts gathered together, since I still had school and work today. My Shugo Chara were just rousing themselves awake as I swung my legs over the side of the bed, the momentum causing something warm to roll and nestle against my leg.

"Oh, shit!" I squealed, startled by the sudden attack. I bolted upright from the bed, the girls jolting awake, only to see an Egg on the bed.

We all stared at it for about three minutes, until I finally choked out, "Very funny, you guys. What kind of sick joke is this?"

"Uh, we didn't put that there," Lilith muttered, seeming completely stunned herself. Vivian and Satsuki wore identically blank expressions, staring at the Egg like it was a completely foreign life form.

I returned my gaze back to it, taking in its appearance. It almost seemed like it was white, the colour of a normal chicken egg, but the sunlight from the windows made it gleam a silvery colour, and it looked like animated snowflakes were falling all on the surface of it. Gingerly, I scooped it up into my palms and cradled it against my chest. It was warm, as if it was holding a small life inside. Which, considering the situation, it most definitely was.

"Not to be a bother or anything," Lilith interjected, ruining the moment. "But does this mean we have to share our bed with someone else? Because it's already cramped as is."

"Oh my fucking god, Lili, really?" Vivian demanded, swatting her over the head with her rabbit. "That is not the issue here."

"A new Shugo Chara," Satsuki murmured in amazement. "That means when this one hatches, you'll have four."

"I can't believe it," I muttered, stroking its surface with my thumb. "How is this even possible? Something that's half-demon shouldn't have Shugo Chara to begin with, let alone four of them."

"Now, now," Satsuki sang, floating over to put her hands on the surface of her new sibling. "If that was true, we wouldn't be here. Though it is curious that she was born now, and not the same time as us."

"Then why now?" I asked no one in particular, sitting back down on the bed to let the other girls come over and check out the new Egg. "Why now when I know what I am, when I was so sure I didn't have any dreams anymore?"

"Maybe you just have a new dream," Vivian offered with a shrug. "That'd do it."

"A new dream," I repeated in a whisper, staring at the Egg in wonder. What on earth could a dream like that be, if I had come up with it after finding out I was a half-breed? Actually, could it have something to do with the fact that I'd chosen to be half and half, not one or the other? I had three months left to live before I essentially destroyed myself, three months to enjoy my human life and spend time saving X-Eggs and returning them to their owners. As I cradled this new Egg to my chest, a warm smile spreading across my face, I couldn't help but think of it as a new hope. Maybe I wasn't entirely a monster, after all.

After I'd showered and began prepping breakfast and my lunch in nothing but a towel-dress, I wondered what- or if- I should tell the Guardians. How would they react once they knew I was going to have four Shugo Chara? As nervous as the concept made me, there was definitely the swelling of excitement there, as well. I hoped they'd at least be more like Satsuki than Lilith or Vivian. Like they could read my mind, they suddenly snapped their heads around to glare at me, and I actually whistled in nonchalance. Things were beginning to look up for me. I knew the truth about myself, knew what I had to control, what I had to be afraid of. And I still got a new Shugo Chara out of it. I all but skipped out the door once it was time for me to get to school.

Though as I walked, my countenance began wilting, a flower staying in the merciless sun for too long. My feet were crunching in about an inch of snow. In the limited time I actually slept, there must have been quite a bit of snowfall to have accumulated this much. All it did was remind me again of my place. I was no ordinary human like the rest of my friends were. I was a half-demon, half of a monster from legends that made people fear the dark for as long as history could tell. Lee had mentioned that normal humans could rarely handle the truth, let alone a pack of cheerful teenagers who had nothing but bright futures ahead of them. I'd been hiding as much of my horrendous personality as I could from them, now I had something even bigger to keep under wraps. There was no way they could know. I'd just been accepted by them, worked together with them, and I couldn't ruin that by suddenly dropping the 'I'm only half-human' bomb. It's not like I was lying; I was just withholding a very large truth. I gripped the handle of my messenger bag strapped across my chest so tightly the material left an imprint on my palm. My walk slowed until I was standing in the midst of a crowd of students streaming by. This was a burden I had to bear alone. And I was fine with that- so long as I could remain with them in the time I had left.

Just as the resolution solidified in my mind, affirmed by the determined set of my jaw, I feel a light tap on my shoulder. For some reason, I knew who it was just by the smell of tatami that clung to his clothes and something uniquely him. I whirled around, a sunny smile blazing on my face, and sang, "Good morning, Tadase-kun."

This seemed to take him by surprise. His eyes widened slightly, his cheeks reddening from the cold that had him bundling up as he did, and he coughed to cover it up. His posture was slightly strange, with one hand held resolutely behind his back, almost as though he was saluting. "Good morning, Hisayuki-san. I suppose you're feeling better?"

Oh, that was right. I'd been blaming all my moodswings and the aftermath of being stabbed on headaches and the like. I looked skyward for a moment, considering, then responded, "Much better, thanks. I got a lot of sleep last night." Now that was an outright lie. "Sorry I've been so snippy lately, by the way. I must've been a royal pain." I hadn't meant for it to be a joke, but when I saw him chuckling slightly, I realized the pun and wanted to kick myself.

"I'm glad," he murmured, his easy smile blooming in full-force. The warm familiarity of it gave me a sense of belonging, of home, and I was so thankful to be out of the nightmare I'd experienced last night as I just looked at him. A life without Tadase-kun could be compared to a life without the sun, even though that may have been an exaggeration. He just made me happy by being around him. My eyes burned as I stared him down with an almost melancholy grin on my face, and his eyebrows lowered in concern. "What's the matter? You look like you might cry."

"Oh, nothing," I said easily, waving the subject away with my hand. "I'm just… glad you're here, is all. Glad we're friends." I wanted to tell him everything, to have him accept me for the way I was and tell me that I could still be a Guardian, a part of something so welcoming and reassuring. But I knew I couldn't. As nice as Tadase-kun was, affirming the existence of demons by saying I was kind of one might be a tad traumatizing. What I had with the Guardians right now was enough, and all I could do was pray that it wouldn't change.

I should have known that prayers wouldn't do a half-breed any good, though.

"I am, too," he said to my immense relief. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that." My heart skipped a beat, then seemed to sink in the simmering pit of poison known as my lack of self-confidence. It ate away at whatever was left of it as I observed his nervous expression, the almost bashful shuffling of his feet, and I began to fear the worst. Had I somehow ruined everything already? Was there really no hope for me to lead a normal life? Then he steeled his shoulders, and I noticed that his cheeks were redder than before. It couldn't have been from the cold; the temperature didn't drop that quickly unless I had something to do with it. I was fretting about what to do to put him at ease when he pulled something out from behind his back. I was surprised to find that my eyeballs remained in my head when I saw that he was holding a bouquet of red spider lillies out to me, in front of the student body walking by, in front of our Shugo Chara who were sputtering and blushing. People actually stopped and outright stared as the scene unfolded in front of them, at me staring at Tadase-kun like I had no eyelids and him proferring me flowers with an embarrassed blush colouring his face.

"These aren't…" I began, my voice sounding more like a choke. "Are these for me?"

He nodded, his golden hair lightly dusting over his eye from the motion. "Yes. I remembered your Shugo Chara saying they were your favourite."

Christ Almighty. Screw having a boyfriend, or even liking someone- never in my life had I ever thought about receiving a damned bouquet from someone! Flowers were romantic, innocent, sweet- a gesture of affection. A clichéd one, but a nice thought, nonetheless. I had no idea people even gave bouquets anymore, and there I was, standing right in front of an all-rounder of a guy, nice, popular, handsome, the works. When my body finally caught up to the event, my entire face went red, all the way to my ears.

"Um…" How did one even respond to this? As if sensing my dilemma, Lilith zoomed up to whisper right into my eardrum, "Take the damned flowers, you moron!" Robotically I reached my hands out and gently grasped them by their stems wrapped in a baby pink paper, trying to shield them slightly from the chill that must have been permeating the air. "What's the occasion?" I finally managed to ask, staring straight into their delicate crimson petals in awe.

"There isn't one really," he began, and his voice cracked adorably in the middle, so he swallowed and tried again. "You're not really supposed to give these in bouquets, since they represent death and the afterlife, but they are your favourite and I just wanted to do something to make you happy…" When he caught sight of my expression, he sputtered and looked down again, his eyebrows forming a crease in the middle. "You just haven't seemed like yourself lately. I wanted to do something to cheer you up, and to let you know that you can rely on us. I know it may seem like we just wanted your help because of your Shugo Chara, but we do think of you as a very good friend. You're important to us, and it hurts us to see you in pain, as well." Seeming to gather his courage, he returned his gaze to mine, a determined set to his mouth. "I understand that everyone has a right to their secrets, but… you can complain. I'll be there to listen."

Our onlookers were blushing, whispering amongst themselves, as I stood there with my mouth hanging open like an invalid. I didn't know what to say, but I was pretty sure my thundering heartbeat spoke for me, since I was certain he could hear it. There was really only one thought rushing through my mind, over and over again, and that was 'I have to protect these people'. I never thought highly of myself, and in light of recent events, my opinion only seemed to plummet. It was the first time I'd ever felt truly wanted by people, not just for what I could do, but for who I was. I didn't know how to protect the things I cared about- it was more of a romanticized thought than a realistic one. But I couldn't lose them. I could never tell them what I was, and that was alright. I found myself beaming into the almost cage-like appearance of the red buds, my eyes crinkling tightly at the corners, my body overheating under all of my layers. "Thank you so much," I told him honestly, looking into his eyes that seemed to widen a bit with my rare burst of expression. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Good," he chuckled nervously, his breath puffing out into a small white cloud. "You're welcome. And… we should really be going." He made my heart skip a beat when he reached up to nervously push back his hair, grunting a bit. "We have a bit of an audience."

Good lord. I'd known that we'd certainly grabbed peoples' attention, but what I hadn't thought of was how Tadase-kun and I must have looked at that moment. It looked like we were… dating, or something, with the way the pair of us had spontaneously flushed the same bright crimson as the flowers he gave me. I didn't need to be getting any more strange looks than my appearance already drew, so I quickly agreed by saying, "Yeah, we should really hurry or we'll miss the bell," followed by a laugh that sounded like a goose choking. He chuckled good-naturedly in response, instead of laughing mockingly like someone else I could mention.

Before I quickly headed up to my class, I sprinted for the Royal Garden, my Shugo Chara clutching to the ends of my hair for dear life as I ran, to put the flowers in some water. I had no idea how to take care of them, but I couldn't let them die easily. As I thought that, staring into their spidery petals, I knew it wasn't just the flowers I was thinking about. So long ago, I recalled having a dream of standing over my friends' bodies, my lethally long nails dripping blood. I knew that this wasn't just about keeping the truth from them because I thought they couldn't handle it. If I wasn't careful, that dream could easily become a reality. Ice wasn't the only ability that came with the demonic territory. I was fast. Strong. And- I shivered as the memory came rushing back with a hard slap- sometimes I didn't even feel like myself if I got too emotional. It felt like all I yearned for was destruction. Just before the bell rang, I was bolting through the halls, shivering from the strange and petrifying foreboding feeling that made my heart shrink.

At lunch was an impromptu Guardian meeting. This worried me slightly, and my Shugo Chara seemed to share the sentiment- the Nikaidou incident was over, so what could bring such a sudden declaration? I felt my chest sinking with each step that I took approaching the Royal Garden, lunch in hand. Then again, it could have been a good opportunity to tell them about the newest addition to my little family. The girls seemed to be trying to distract themselves with idle arguments about what their new sister would be like. The word 'demon' got thrown around a lot, hard as I tried to ignore it. And while I was absolutely elated over my apparent abundance of humanity, I myself was worried about this new character. What if she really was born from my wish to be true to both sides of myself? Could she be… dangerous?

I didn't have a lot of time to mull it over; I had reached the Garden. I really needed to start paying attention to the pace my long legs carried me at; I probably could have stalled a bit. I still got faintly lost when making my way around- I'd made a wrong turn on my way here to the old building and somehow still managed to make it back in record time. I heaved a sigh, craving just to sit down and think while at the same time stuff myself until I exploded. I supposed being half monster made my appetite equally as monstrous.

The sound of sniggering when I pushed opened the door immediately set me on edge, albeit an embarrassed one. The three troublemakers had seen the flowers. The second they heard the door open, they turned to me with such smug little grins that I couldn't even meet their definitely knew where they came from, and who they were for. Poor Tadase-kun, redfaced and eyebrows drawn, had already been a victim of their merciless teasing. Somehow I could not bring myself to resent them for it, not after I realized I had so little time left with them. Maybe it would be alright to bear the brunt of their jeers every once in a while.

Kukai-kun plucked a blossom from the bouquet and scuttled over to me, landing on one knee and proferring it with such a tragic Romeo expression that I snorted at on the spot. "M'lady," he said, putting a hand on his heart.

"Oh, piss off," I growled, shoving him away playfully as he burst into gaffaws. The effort I put into making my stride seem confident was pretty sad, and it all washed away once Tadase-kun and my gazes connected, leaving us both to flush and smile slightly. But something was bothering him; there was a dark stirring just beneath his usual pleasantries, which made my eyebrows crease in concern. He had seemed fine this morning; what could have changed between then and now, besides vocalizing his concerns for me?

"If you would kindly take a seat," he began almost too casually, addressing all of us, "we will begin the meeting. I've called all of you here for a very important announcement." We all sat, our gazes growing suspicious, while Kukai-kin merely kicked back and leaned on the hind two legs of his chair, grinning slightly. His little stunt hadn't been that funny. "As all of you know, the Nikaidou incident was settled peacefully and he's officially resigned from Easter to work only as a teacher. However, this leaves us in the dark as to what Easter plans to do next. Ever since Hisayuki-san came along," he said with a pointed but affectionate look towards me, "they've begun to feel threatened since she can actually Character Transform, and have therefore grown more aggressive. We can't afford to be ignorant to their plans if we can help it." He had to swallow a lump that had apparently formed in his throat before he continued, which made my heart stutter slightly and my eyes widen. What could have him so worried? "And that's why-"

"I'm leaving," Kukai-kun finished for him, examining his cuticles.

The other girls and myself were silent for a few heartbeats, and Yaya-san was the first to react by shooting up from her seat, her face red with anger. "What?!" She demanded, pigtails bouncing furiously. "Why do you need to leave for that?! You still have a year left of high school, Kukai!"

"I'm aware," he chuckled, amused but tenderized by her reaction. "I'm not leaving school altogether; I'm transferring to Mayosu to see if I can grab any information from Tsukiyomi and the idol." The sound of Ikuto's name made me jump, which did not go unnoticed by the kind giver of flowers. "As Tadase said, we shouldn't be taking risks at this stage in the game. I'll be a double agent." The idea seemed to please him greatly; his grin was entirely smug as he thought of himself in that manner, working as a sort of spy in order to defeat an adult corporation.

I only noticed these things because of how intensely I was staring at him. Kukai-kun was leaving for Mayosu, leaving the Guardians to go undercover. He met my probing gaze and smirked, which made my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach with a hard smack. I was losing one of my friends, after I'd just made the decision to protect them with all I had. Well, technically I was not completely losing Kukai-kun; he'd just barely be around anymore. His presence would gradually begin to fade away. What if I barely saw him in these three months? He was just as important to me as the others, garbage heap of a truck and all. Time with him and the other Guardians was precious. How could so much of it be taken away so easily?

"You okay, Hisayuki?" He asked me jokingly, though his brows were furrowed. "You look like you're having an aneurism."

I snapped out of it long enough to breathe again. "I'm fine," I said in a rush, never moving my eyes from his face as if he might disappear into thin air right then. My heart beat in a strange rhythm that was making me feel sick to my stomach. While Kukai-kun and Yaya-san began to have a war of words, my Shugo Chara looked up at me, sympathy written in their gazes, and somehow I knew that this wasn't going to be the only thing to make me upset. There were just going to be more and more, and I began to doubt if the decision I had made last night was the correct one.

"I'm starting there next week," Kukai-kun continued after Yaya-san had latched herself onto his back like a koala. "The sooner I do it, the better. I'll still becoming around though, don't you worry." He said the last bit with a wink directed at me, and my smile was so unconvincing that I had to look away before he could ask about it. Since I knew he would, because these were kind people who I couldn't bear to live without just yet…

Stop, I thought suddenly to myself, fisting my hands in my skirt. This isn't just about you. Kukai-kun is doing this for the Guardians. Think of them first. That was right. Just because things had changed in my life didn't mean I had to let them effect my performance as a Guardian- and as a friend. Though I did feel guilty if they were going to keep on fighting Easter in three month's time after I'd lost it. My smile was more than convincing this time- it was determined. The harsh set of my eyebrows probably gave my real feelings away, but I still managed to crack out, "I think that's just a fancy way of saying that you flunked out."

The relief he felt was visible by the more relaxed set of his shoulders. He grinned teasingly at me, chuckling, and said, "Hey, that was supposed to be a secret."

"Well, it isn't," Yaya-san shot back immediately, making our King and Queen burst into snickers. They poked fun at him for a while longer, while I smiled and nodded at the appropriate times, then things got abruptly serious again when Tadase-kun stared at him for a while with an odd melancholy smile on his face.

"We're going to miss you," he said simply. He had no idea.

"Oh, come on," Kukai-kun rolled his eyes. "It's not like I'm moving out of the country! I'm just gonna need a replacement here, but I'll be around."

"I know." Tadase-kun sniffed and whipped something out of his pocket. I squinted only to see that he had just been randomly carrying around a picture of Kukai-kun with him. "If I need some advice, can I talk to this picture of you?"

"Dude, just text me." I was apparently the only one who found Tadase-kun carting around a picture of him hilarious, judging from my giggle fit that didn't even need to be faked. They all looked at me like I was certifiable.

Suffice to say, lunch was just drama. I was almost eager to get back to my regular lessons and get absorbed in schoolwork so I wouldn't have time to dwell on what was occurring with the Guardians, how we were slowly being torn apart. Yes, that was exaggerating- but the distress I felt at Kukai-kun's leaving warranted it. My Shugo Chara could only look wordlessly up at me from my shoulders as I walked out from the Royal Garden, my shoulders sagging and staring at my moving feet. From their perspective, they probably thought that this was best for me, if I distanced myself from my human friends before I was not around anymore- and maybe they were right. A faint crackling sound came from my bag, reminding me that my new Chara Egg was in there, but I couldn't bring myself to be excited about it anymore. Not when I was losing something else in the process.

Before I even got too far from the Royal Garden, I heard clicky footsteps rushing up behind me. I turned around, a suspicious glare on my face since it could have been the clicking of the claws of something demonic, and blew a sigh of relief when I saw it that it was only Nadeshiko-san trying to catch up to me. She slowed down at my side, a stray strand of dark violet hair across her cheek, and her breath coming out in small clouds. Even in near-winter she managed to remain gorgeous, the red flush from the cold covering her cheeks making her look like a doll. There was a subtle scent of jasmine from her next to me, and I didn't like to think about how I must have always smelled like fear nowadays. A perma-stench.

"Snow-chan," she began with her usual smile, though there was a melancholy tilt to it. "You okay?"

I shrugged as we began walking again, quietly joining the clumps of students moving towards the doors to the school, covered in melting snow. Apparently a snowball fight had ensued- again. "Just surprised. Of all people, I didn't think Kukai-kun would leave, you know?"

She nodded in sympathy, though her eyes suddenly weren't looking at me, but past me. That took me by surprise, since I had never seen her so unfocused before. "I get what you mean," she murmured quietly, her pitch oddly low. "He just seems like the kind of person who would always be there, don't you think?"

I could not believe how bitter she sounded. I had never seen her like this, with a firm line between her brows and shoulders tensed beneath her coat. She was apparently not even paying attention to where she was going, since I had to grab her arm before she wiped out on a natural slick path of ice. Even her apologetic smile seemed troubled.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked her, oddly physical as my hand remained on her arm.

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I'm a girl, too, you know." She snorted out loud at that, very ungracefully, which I graciously chose to ignore. "I may be dense, but I can tell when something's wrong. You…" I hesitated, calming myself. "You can talk to me, you know. I don't bite." Yet, anyway.

For just a moment, she appeared to be shell-shocked. Then a beautiful grin that showcaeed her brilliant white teeth spread across her face, and she rested her hand over top of mine. "Thank you for saying that. It's good to know." If I was a better friend, I wouldn't have even needed to tell her that. I really didn't deserve any of these kind people as my friends if I couldn't be better for them. She paused as her eyebrows creased again, making her smile appear more troubled than before, and the warmth of her hand began to spread to mine. "I was just thinking about how… you and I never really spend much time together." Suddenly inspired, her eyes sparkled as she began to ramble- which was unusual for her. "The two of us never spend any time together. After school or anything, I mean. We need to hang out soon, before…" She trailed off, gaze faraway again.

I nodded, a smile on my face. Our thoughts were on the same wavelength- though for vastly different reasons. Friends hung out together, obviously; it was one of the most basic criteria that came with that status. Nadeshiko-san and my relationship wasn't just business (at least, I hoped it wasn't). Tadase-kun had just been talking to me about that in the morning, and I wanted to act on that during the minimal time I had left.

"Are you free Saturday?" I asked her suddenly, driven by her spiel. Tomorrow was one of the only days I really took off, of both homework and my job. Usually I spent it shopping for groceries and the like, and I did just get my pay check, but that could wait until Sunday. Nadeshiko-san blinked at me, stunned the grinned again.

"Yes, I am, actually. Would you like to go shopping then come to my house for a sleepover afterwards?" Her eyes glittered with excitement at the idea, so much that found it difficult to decline. But I'd never really been to a girl sleepover before- the only person's house I'd ever spent the night at was Mao. I wouldn't know what to do. Was it like in the movies, where you painted each other's nails, had pillow fights, and talked about boys? If so, no thank you. I wasn't even dreaming of declining- of course I wasn't- but the concept didn't really appeal to me. Of course, I did not want to spend the entire time on my phone, either. Then I remembered she was waiting for a response and shoved another smile on my face.

"I'd love to," I said, my heart fluttering in excitement as I thought about it. My first sleepover (with someone besides Mao) at eighteen. Wow, that was kind of pathetic. But still- excited.

"Is it okay if I pick you up around noon?" Snapped back to reality, I realized she was looking at me expectantly with her phone in her gloved hands, and I nodded quickly. She took off a brown leather glove to type something on the screen before slipping it back into her pocket. My Shugo Chara watched us chat for a few more moments before slipping off to our respective classes, suspicious grins on their faces. When I was alone again, they began giggling.

"What now?" I demanded with a roll of my eyes.

"Your first sleepover," Lilith snickered, before she burst into raucous laughter. I flicked her away, and her sisters gasped as she went flying. Vivian began to laugh even harder, and Satsuki flew over to check if she was alright.

"Don't ruin my excitement," I muttered, too happy to be completely upset with them. A rattling in my bag reminded me of the new Egg's presense, and I quickly peeked into it to check on it. Besides a slight coat of frist that must have been part of the Egg's design, it seemed relatively okay. Satisfied, I closed the flap and briskly walked into the classroom before the final bell rang.

Deryn and Will were usually the first people in Home-Ec, but they weren't there that day. When I sat next to another girl (I was pretty sure her name was Misaki) my brows furrowed, wondering where they could have run off to. Of course I was worried about their unexplained absence, but I was also a bit relieved. Honestly, I would not have known how to face them with the new knowledge about Deryn being a… a vampire. The word sent ice spiders skittering down my spine just by thinking about it. Not to mention that Professor Kenneth was one as well. I could not deny how put off I was thinking about how not one, but two vampires were in a high school, one as a teacher. But every time I felt disturbed by it, a hot flash of shame coursed over my body. They were vampires, which were universally recognized as evil, but they were good people. Even if I didn't know them that well, I could tell that they weren't bad, at least. Besides, I was a half-demon – something that didn't belong anywhere – and I was officially going to be losing my mind in about three months. I was more deserving of disgust than they were, proud as I was of my heritage. I was such a hypocrite. When I saw Deryn next time, I wanted to talk to her about everything. I there was anything I could talk about everything with that I couldn't with the Guardians – or Ikuto, though I didn't know why I even considered him – it was her, someone who was also between worlds. Though it was truly bizarre that she wasn't there that day – Deryn was more serious about school than anyone I knew. The fact that she, of all people, would miss a day now was… unsettling.

It really was a God-awful day.

The final bell trilled, and Mr. Nikaidou dismissed us from science, reminding us to do our homework (which was still pretty weird to think about, since last week he was ripping children's dreams out from their chests). Uncomfortable around him as I was, I wanted to track down Professor Kenneth and ask where Deryn and Will had gone off to. But there was a brief Guardians meeting, according to a text from Tadase-kun, just as a formal farewell to Kukai-kun, so I didn't have the time. I had the brief, nonsensical illusion that if I didn't attend, he wouldn't leave. He was the kind of person who would blame himself if he thought I was upset. It was cruel of me to want to exploit that endearing trait of his, but what would become of the Guardians without hat spirited fire of his, warming everyone around him and bringing them together? Good Lord, I was reading too much into it.

As all the Guardians said their farewells to Kukai-kun, the Shugo Chara also had a far more tearful goodbye with Daichi-kun. Pepe-chan was an outright mess, and refused to let him leave by koala-ing his back, to which he struggled under the weight of. Trying to avoid saying goodbye, my eyes wandered over to them just in time to catch something I never had before that made a wide grin slit suggestively into my mouth: Daichi-kun and Vivian.

Viv's expression was empty, apathetic, but I notied how tightly she was clutching at her rabbit (whom she had aptly dubbed Kuro). When did that start? I didn't even realize Shugo Chara could like each other that way, but it sure was damn interesting.

"Don't be too sad when I'm gone," Daichi-kun teased her, though his spiky eyebrows were slashed down over his eyes.

Viv snorted. "As if I would." That pissed me right off. How could she so blatantly ignore her own feelings like that, and act like she didn't care about him when she really did? [Crim slowly turns towards readers, a pointed look on her face.]

"You should really learn to be more honest." You tell her, Daichi-kun. [Crim: "YEAH, DAICHI."] "But I guess that's just a part of your charm." His grin stretched from ear to ear, which made Vivian's face flame. I'd never seen her se embarrassed before. If I didn't think their exchange was so darn adorable, I probably would have snapped some pictures to blackmail her with later.

At that moment, Kukai-kun came up behind me and threw an arm aoround my shoulders, earning a terrified yelp. "Ease up, spaz," he laughed, and although my heart felt like it was gonna burst from my chest with the scare, I still found myself smiling at him. His genuine laughter, easy good nature, was so hard to find in someone nowadays. My heart ached, echoing in the empty space he's be leaving. Do it, I told myself, thinking that it must have been an appropriate occasion to act on my emotions. My Shugo Chara's jaws feel from their skulls when they saw me turn around and hug Kukai-kun.

As a matter of fact, everyone seemed astonished that I actually took the plunge and hugged someone. Kukai-kun let out a startled, "Oh-ho," that was clearly all bravado from the sound of his racing heart, before he squeezed me back. It still felt so strange to be held – by anyone. Kukai-kun felt like he had more muscle than either Tadase-kun or Ikuto (though only a bit compared to the latter) – probably from all the sports he did. He smelled like cologne, one that was spicy yet fresh, and also comforting, like walking into a welcoming home. It was beyond me as to how I discerned that; maybe after the little Hell adventure my senses were becoming more… acute.

"It won't be the same without you," I told him honestly. Suddenly I realized he was a lot more bothered about this than he let on; his hands were fists against my back. He was so solid, and stood tall and proud, but he was leaving his friends. How could that not affect anyone? Yet he hid all of those negative emotions for our sakes. I wished I could be that strong, and found myself admiring him, even if he could be incredibly goofy. A lump formed in my throat, making it hard to breathe.

"Aww," he chortled, then picked me off my feet and swung me around like I weighed next to nothing. He and the other Guardians found my shrieked chorus of "stopstopstop" absolutely hilarious, and the mood almost visibly lifted when I was set back down on my feet. I tore myself from his grasp, scowling, to which he howled with laughter at.

"I know, Hisayuki." Though he still smiled at me, it was oddly serious, his eyes still and untwinkling. "Take care of the Guardians, okay?"

I cocked my head to the side. "Shouldn't you be saying that to Tadase-kun?"

He shrugged. "I already did. But your our top fighter now. Our trump card." My heart shot down to my stomach as if being dropped down and elevator shaft, since what he said just reminded me of how I could't keep that promise. "Keep them safe."

"You don't need to tell me," I grumbled teasingly, and I was proud to note that mu voice didn't waver. "Of course I will."

"Good." He reached up to mess up my hair, and even though I was two years older, I felt like Kukai-kun was exacly what having a big brother would feel like. Patronizing as it was, I couldn't deny that it also felt pleasant. Sweet. I smiled at him, brighter than ever, though my cheast felt like it was freezing over. I didn't want him to leave, but I couldn't stop him from going. That seemed to be a trend in my life.

When I began walking out of the school gates, the dying sunset reflecting off my hair in warm hues, it felt like I was dragging my heart on the ground by a string behind me. I already missed Kukai-kun, wanted to talk to him again. If I could withstand the urge to do so beforehand, I would text him on Monday to see how his first day at Mayosu went. Was that what a good friend would do? Who knew; Mao was the only constant, true friend I had before coming to Akutetsu, and he and I used to hang out every day after school or work. Clearly I should have put myself out there more and risked social humiliation so that I could have known what to do in a situation like this.. Goddammit, Snow.

To get my mind off of it, I turned to Vivian with pert eyebrows, a smirk, and a "So…", with the 'o' drawn out suggestively.

She was instantly suspicious. "What do you want?"

"You and Daichi-kun, huh?"

As she sputtered in embarrassment, Lilith groaned obnoxiously loudly and screeched, "Yes! If even Snow notices it, then you know that it's real."

"Can't argue there," I grumbled.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Viv was as bad at lying as I was. Good Lord, that was awful. But it was still sweet to see. Though I had to admit, it felt a bit odd pairing my Shugo Chara up. It felt like I was interfering in the love life of my child. Ugh.

"But you two are so sweet together," Satsuki murmured, a sullen pout on her face.

"Shut up! We do not!" Her face was so red it probably looked like a cherry tomato from a distance. How sweet.

At that moment, I heard a soft voice call out my name from behind me. I recognized it immediately - the flat tone, the demure, womanly pitch, and turned to see Deryn standing between the school gates, her hair blazing like a curved river of gold in the sun. She wasn't wearing a coat, gloves – anything to defend her from the cold. Just a black shirt with a white Peter Pan collar, a matching skirt, leggings, and Mary Janes. All jet black. As if she just came from a funeral. She was also wearing a strange expression on her face – one of concern, one that made her look like a frightened mouse cornered by a cat. Though I imagined my expression was a mirror of hers'. It seemed so horrible to be overly aware of the fact that she was a vampire as she faced me, and suddenly it hit me why she never smiled. With her mouth hanging open slightly as we stared each other down, I saw two fine white points poking down from the top of her mouth. Fangs. That she drank blood with. That she used to suck the blood from the pretty woman Ikuto and I had found. All I could see in front of me was a predator – I wondered if all she could see in front of her was a half-breed abomination.

When she took a step forward to approach me, I unintentionally took one back. That did it – her blue eyes blazed with the realization that I knew her secret, and immediately I wanted nothing more than to apologize. But the damage had been done. She set her jaw and, in a flash of black and gold that left a small whirlwind of snow on the ground in her wake, she was gone. Just like that.

"Dammit," I muttered, kicking up some powdery snow. Some stuck to my leggings and refused to melt, as I thought it would. I had to think of something to make it up to Deryn, to tell her I was on her side – half way, anyway. The next time I saw her, I'd tell her for sure. I probably just wanted to lighten my own burden, but maybe she'd feel comforted knowing she wasn't the only monster around.

But for now – work.

---

"What do you pack for a sleepover?" I wondered aloud, staring at the empty knapsack with the floral design lying forlornly on my bed. The sleepovers I'd had with Mao were usually spur-of-the-moment things, that happened spontaneously after school, so I never really packed for them. I even had my own toothbrush at his house, and I just wore lended clothes home, since my ones from the previous day were a bit muddy from wading through the bayou. There were a few obvious essentials – clothes, pajamas, a toothbrush, hairbrush… but did I need anything else? I wish I knew if Nadeshiko-san had a DS I would have brought mine, and we could have played Mario Cart together or something. Was she even in to games and the like? Damn, I wish I'd have thought to ask.

"Make sure to remember to bring a gift," Satsuki reminded me.

"But what would they even like?" I growled, frustrated with myself. Well, one could never really go wrong with sweets, I supposed. I began scanning my closet, picking out a sweater and jeans and throwing them in the bag. Lilith and Vivian watched with bemused expressions, obviously pleased with my floundering. The new Egg was still in their little basket, frozen and untouched., and I only noticed I was staring at it when I heard a sudden knock on my door that snapped me out of my trance.

It was my room door, not the apartment, so it was either a very polite burglar or a demon who seemed to be immune to locks. I narrowed my eyes, unmoving, until I heard my uncle's voice say, "It's me." A demon immune to locks, then.

When I opened the door, he was leaning against the opposite wall next to the bathroom, making himself right at home. He strolled into my room, completely uninvited, but I knew better than to argue. My desk chair was apparently his knew throne from the lavish posture he adopted when he sat in it. He must have just got home from work, since he was still in the typical black suit – but his hair was out of the usual ponytail and flowing freely, moving around as if there was a draft in the room (which there wasn't, just by the way).

"Just come on in," I muttered, fairly sarcastically as I busied myself with finding a modest pair of pajamas.

"We're family," he sand, as if that justified his actions (which, in his mind, it probably did). "What are you up to on this fine night?"

By fine, he must have meant the snow swirling furiously outside, perfect weather for the king of the iciest place in Hell. I rolled my eyes again, but couldn't repress a smile. "Just packing for a sleepover tomorrow night."

He was quiet for a little while, leaving me with the time to make judgements about him (because I was a bad person, and that's what bad people do). He was a demon, yet at that moment he was coming off like your typical bocchan- in short, a total brat. Doing what he wanted with no regard for others' feelings, hating on humans for not being as superior as him… he must have been raised like that. Or maybe all demons were like that. But that couldn't be true, because how did my father fit into that mix? He sacrificed his life for mine and my mother's; so why were he and Lee so different?

As if to prove my point, he grunted out, "A human friend?"

"Well, I don't have any demons friends." Oh wait, yes I did. "None that I'm currently hanging out with, anyway. Why does it matter?"

"I just don't think you should be getting too involved with them." He shrugged, like saying to ditch all my friends because we were from different races was no big deal. "It'll only hurt you and the involved parties in the end. You're not like them – your demon blood makes you superior."

"Need I remind you that I was raised by a human family in Louisiana?"

"Yes, about that – what are you going to do about them? Since you'll be stayng here from now on."

My Shugo Chara retreated to their basket in a foreboding silence as they watched me stare at him. "What makes you think I'm staying here?"

His green eyes widened, then the whites turned black with a rush of emotion (if one could call it that). "Don't tell me you plan on going back. They're not your real family – I am."

"They raised me," I sputtered, completely at a loss as to how he couldn't understand that. "They took in some strangers kid and treated them like their own, even when she was all marked up with scars by her own mother and had a serious attitude problem. You expect me to just leave them forever because I found out that some of my family is still alive and have not abandoned me?" He stared at me expectantly. "I just told you last night that I'm not giving up the human part of my life; that includes the people in it."

"You only have three months left," he pointed out helpfully.

"What does it matter? It's three months I want to spend with them."

He growled and leaned back in the chair, itching at his arms beneath his sleeves like his fur was just screaming to come out. "Who knew children could be so much trouble? I have no idea how Glaziel did it."

"No one asked you to invite yourself back into my life." He raised his eyebrows. "Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful you care. But you only care because I share your blood, not because you like me."

"You think I don't like you?" When I said nothing, only stared at the clothes haphazardly stuffed in the knapsack, he snorted. "You're the only human I can tolerate. I don't approve of you hanging out with other ones, the vermins they are, but so long as you understand the consequences." He leaned forward so that his arms hung loosely between his legs, his elbows resting on his knees. His blue and black eyes bored into mine, giving me a glimpse of what mine could look like someday. "Just remember that they won't be there for you when you lose your humanity. I will."

That, I couldn't argue with.

"By the way," he said nonchalantly, settling back into the chair, though his eyes remained pitch black with the icy blue ring our family shared. "You don't have a human mate, correct? And you don't think you're feeling something foolish like 'love'?"

I snorted, though it was too aggressive to be apathetic. "No."

"Because if you did, I'd kill him."

I was still snickering when my cell phone rang, and had to choke back my laughter when I picked up and said, "Hello?"

"Long time no speak."

I gasped in delight, startling Lee and my Shugo Chara. "Mao! Oh Good Lord it's good to hear your voice!" Lee snorted at the expression, and I shushed him. "How have you been? Is school going okay? I've missed you so much!" I was physically dizzy from being overcome with emotion at the sound of his voice, with the thick dialect of home, and had to sit down before my legs give out.

He didn't chuckle at all like he usually would have at my flightiness. He just sounded exasperated. "Everything's fine. You sound like you're doing okay."

"Holy Hell," I muttered, putting a hand to my persperating forehead, and Lee actually looked disgusted with that one. "Do I have shit to tell you. So much has happened since I got here." When I was only met with a tense silence, my brows creased, and I dropped my hand into my lap. "Is everything really okay? You're very quiet."

"Oh, I'm fine," he snorted, in a way I knew was meant to be sarcastic. "My best friend gallivanting off to the other side of the planet to find the mother that cut her to bits is still hard to wrap my head around, you know?"

I was quiet for a stretch of time, negative feelings stirring within me like poison spreading through my bloodstream. Then I finally asked, "Then why did you call?"

"Mom told me to. She said I was being rude." A pause. "I really didn't want to though."

At that precise moment, Lee thought it would be a brilliant idea to start inspecting my room, and the fourth Egg caught his eye. Right as I was about to say something, anything to Mao to comfort him, Lee exclaimed, "Oh, wow, Snow, you've given birth to another one!"

Dead silence from the other end of the phone. I looked to Lee, incredulous and in shock, and in his state of amusement he glanced at me, pointed to the snowflakes, and said, "Looks kind of like me in that way, doesn't it?" Then he started laughing, like his joke on the wintry décor on my Egg actually had any relation to him. Which it didn't. Probably.

Nonetheless, my conversation with Mao just took a turn for the deep south (no pun intended). "Um," was all I could say, completely shot for an explanation. "That's just my neighbour, Lee. He, uh, comes over sometimes." It sounded like a question, and I definitely wasn't getting myself out of the hole he'd thrown me into. I swore I heard choking noises, and thought my best friend may have been having an aneurism. "Mao?"

All I heard was the dial tone.

I threw my phone on the bed, whirled to face Lee, pointed at the door and said, "Bitch, the door."

---

Since my skin was so pale, it made the dark circles beneath by eyes from my haunted insomnia actually look like I had been repeatedly punched in the face. That was no face to go out shopping with, so I put on makeup for the first time in – in a while, anyway, since I usually didn't need it (demon genes are probabaly to thank for my astonishing lack of acne). It felt weird to have on my face, like it was suffocating it. All I wore on a daily basis was mascara and sometimes eyeliner, because white eyelashes are freaky as hell. I looked at my face in the mirror, tried smiling, and intense bags formed under my eyes. I gave up and went to grab my knapsack to wait for Nadeshiko-san to arrive.

"Do you guys think I should bring the new Egg with me?" I asked my Shugo Chara, who nodded quickly.

"Remember how Ikuto tried to steal us when we were first born?" Oh yeah, that did happen. It felt like ages ago, even though it was just last month. "He could try to do it again. He apparently knows where you live." A valid point. I didn't really believe he'd try to steal this new Egg, though. I had figured we moved past all that, especially since he took care of me post-stabbing. But who knew; he did still work for Easter, so he had an obligation to them. Better to be safe than sorry. I popped a soft towel in my bag, then delicately placed the Egg on top. It didn't feel as warm as it had when it first showed up, but that was probably just because it had been sitting unhatched for a while.

Since there was snow on the ground now, I opted for boots instead of sneakers, and wrapped a white knit scarf around my neck and chin to keep up the illusion that I needed it. Before I walked out of the apartment, I looked back into the living room, still and quiet as the snow falling outside, and wondered what it would be like with Mao there. The phone call had definitely made me miss him more than I already had, and I couldn't help but wonder what he'd think of my new friends, my new apartment, my new school. Everything was definitely more eccentric and involved here than it was at our high school back in New Orleans, and I certainly would never have become part of the student council there. Now all of Seiyo Academy knew who I was, who I hung out with. What a strange feeling it was, to not just another face in the crowd. I certainly didn't appreciate all the attention, but there was something endearing about how people knew my name, how they came to me for help even though I was still new. I smiled at the empty space, then left, locking the door behind me.

"Bundle up, guys," I told the girls as we entered the elevator, and they took that as their cue to go snuggle up in my scarf. They knew better than to start an argument in there, since all the movement around my neck got me ticklish and I automatically reared my head inwards like a turtle, effectively crushing them in the process. So they sat there in a grumpy silence, considering that every conversation they had usually resulted in an argument. They stayed that way until we got off the elevator and went outside, where a longer black car was waiting for us, the engine still running. Nadeshiko-san rushed out of the back, bundled up with earmuffs, gloves, a scarf- the whole shebang. I looked at the car questioningly, and she shrugged.

"My family owns a very old and well-known dancing school," she explained as we opened the doors on opposite sides and climbed in. It wasn't exactly a limo, but the interior was spacious and coated in fine black leather, the kind that squeaked if you moved too much. "You could say we come from old money, but my mother doesn't like to show off. She thinks it's 'unladylike'." She rolled her eyes at the last part, as if she herself was anything but ladylike. I looked like a goose in hysterics walking next to her sometimes, so unladylike was the last thing she was.

I had never been to Akutetsu's mall before; just a few stores here and there to get some home stuff and groceries. Now that I had been paid, I could start doing my Christmas shopping early for everyone, and even send some souvenirs back home. Maybe I was foolish with my money, but hey – when you've only got three months until you turn into a monster, you can afford to be.

Speaking of which, I had been thinking about spending more time with my friends, and making good memories – namely, I wanted some pictures of us together. I was actually considering putting up a corkboard or something in my room and decorating it with pictures and stuff. Or hanging them on lines of twine or something. Since Nadeshiko-san and I were already together then, I figured I may as well ask her to take one with me. But I'd never been good at taking pictures, or selfies, or anything along those lines – and I was too awkward to ask for one and be cool about it. But then I figured out a roundabout way to go about it, and with a grin I turned to her and asked, "Do Shugo Chara show up in pictures?"

She looked puzzled about that herself. "You know what, I'm not sure. I've never tried."

"WE'RE NOT VAMPIRES!" Lilith screeched, and after finally drawing my attention to them, I noticed that she and Vivian had gotten into another tussle – her hair was being pulled by her younger sister, her foot shoving her away on her stomach. "If you can see us in the mirror, you can see us on a camera!"

"I didn't mean to insult you, jeez." Then I paused and thought about what she had said. "Do vampires really not show up in pictures?"

I would have described the noise Nadeshiko-san made as a snort if she wasn't so graceful. "You say that as if vampires are real, Snow-chan."

"Yeah, I guess that was a dumb question." Then came the nervous laughter that was way too fake to not draw attention. To distract her from it, I whipped out my phone and snapped a picture of the girls fighting and Satsuki trying to tear them apart. One may have thought that wasn't a nice picture to keep, but it was such a perfect representation of their relationship, so I had to. The look on Lilith's face actually made me snort with laughter, and I showed Nadeshiko-san, who giggled in return. My segway was so perfect – "Hey, do you want to take a picture together?", and the accomplishment I felt when she agreed was unreal; I was so clever. The face I was making in the picture could not even begin to be described as attractive, but I was too awkward to ask for a retake, so I let it be.

I leaned back in the seat and watched my Shugo Chara's fight – was I considered a bad parent for just letting them beat on each other? Nah. Temari-chan was looking at them with something like distaste, then sighed and bothered to ask, "What exactly are you fighting about now?"

"Lili needs to stop bringing up Daichi," Vivian growled, and suddenly everything made sense.

"Why? Don't you two have mutual feelings for each other?"

Satsuki collapsed and sighed, knowing where that was going to go.

"Not you, too!" Vivian dropped her sister like a sack of potatoes and advanced on Temari. "We're not a thing! I don't know how many times I need to say it!"

"Daichi-kun certainly thinks you are." How Temari was able to remain apathetic with Vivian right in her face was beyond me, but I was certainly impressed by it.

"He what?! That's not true!"

"Alright, that is enough." Suddenly Temari's entire disposition was different, and she glared at Vivian with a fiery passion in her eyes that made them blaze like burning violets. "We are trying to have a nice and relaxing ride, and your constant screeching and fighting is ruining it for everyone, so sit your ass down and be quiet for the rest of the goddamn ride." I'd never seen her act like that before, and I was a bit thankful she was hiding the rest of her expression behind her kimono sleeve.

Vivian was definitely going to say something in retort, but Satsuki dragged her away to sit down quietly before an all-out brawl broke out. At least now I knew that Vivian and Daichi actually liked each other; it felt strange to be shipping something so small and magical in real life.

The one mall in Akutetsu resembled every other main structure in the city – made of a glass that glittered like the blades of knives in the sunshine and snow, though unlike Crystalshire Apartments, its width covered more area than its height. The parking lot was fairly full, so we were dropped off at the main entrance with heavy glass doors, and Nadeshiko-san told the driver to come back in about three hours. When we entered the building side by side, two greeters on either side of the door sang, "Welcome!" and I jumped. Nadeshiko-san giggled and asked, "They don't have greeters in America?"

"In some places," I muttered, not missing how each of the greeters glared at me with blinding blue rings around their pupils. Demons, then. And employees of Lee's, since he was both the mayor of Akutetsu and the ruler of Stiriacus. I wondered how many civil servants in this city were actually servants of a demon overlord. I was too afraid to ask; rather, I was too afraid of the answer being a lot. That would mean a lot of citizens could attack any unsuspecting human at any time. Nadeshiko-san noticed my major decline in mood, and hooked our arms together, startling me. "Where did you want to check out first?"

"Doesn't matter to me," I began. "Where's a good place to get souvenirs?"

She lead me to a large store filled with traditional knick-knacks, like lucky cats, darumas, tenugui, folding fans, and more that stretched into the room beyond. There was another greeter in this store, one whose eyes looked as human as I far as I could tell, so I thanked them and moved in to check out the place's wares, still arm-in-arm with Nadeshiko-san. Besides the traditional souvenirs, there were little bits made for Akutetsu itself, like small crystal sculptures of the city that were made to look like ice with its name carved in the bottom plate, and even some snow globes. In all honesty, I wanted a little snow globe for myself – it was so painfully cute and ironic, and I knew I'd love to look at it after I returned home. I cradled it in my handles fondly, admiring the craftsmanship of the miniature crystal model of the city surrounded by little tufts of fake snow. It reminded me of Stiriacus, and I wondered if that was actually the intent. Then I put it down to call home and see what kind of things they wanted.

Mary said she wanted nothing, which was irritatingly predictable of a mother like her (the kind that always, no matter what, cared for her children more than herself). She handed the phone to Theresa and Nathan, and they began eagerly spouting French at me. They must have started using it in the house more often to get used to it. Nadeshiko-san looked at me like I was growing horns (which I sincerely hoped wasn't the case) when I began speaking it back. I could gather that Theresa either wanted jewelry or a doll for her little collection Mary started when she was about two, and Nate said that he didn't care. I felt like he was testing me, to see if I really knew him – which I did, of course; he was my little brother. He'd want something cool and techy that you couldn't find in America. Which shouldn't be too difficult, judging by the stuff in the store.

I picked out a few things, and wandered over to Nadeshiko-san, who was gazing admiringly at some flowery hair ornaments. Well, it was either that or the men's cologne beside them, but something told me that wasn't the case (namely the fact that she was a girl). She turned to me and asked with a smile, "Ready to check out?"

"Oui," I said jokingly with a huge grin, but apparently I had only succeeded in startling her, judging by the taken-aback look on her face. "Are you afraid of French or something?" I teased as we wove our way through throngs of tourists to get to the check-out counter. I wondered how the tourists made it to Akutetsu if you could only find it when you were searching for a safe haven. Then I was reminded by my own experiences that there were not only physical safe havens in the world, but emotional ones as well. What could they have been hoping to escape from?

"Not at all," Nadeshiko-san said, jolting out of my sympathy fest. "You just speak it so well - it took me by surprise."

"New Orleans has two main languages, though it depends on where you are in the city: English and French. So people tend to learn both for the sake of convenience, just like how you guys learn English here."

"That must be handy," she whistled, impressed. "Knowing three different languages fluently."

"I only learned Japanese when I knew I was coming here a year or two ago, and English does help-" I smirked "- in English class."

She playfully bumped my shoulder with hers. "That's cheating."

"It really is - Mr. Yoshida hates me for sure."

We laughed, then heard a large clatter from one of the aisles. To the untrained eye, it seemed as though something had merely mysteriously fallen, but in reality our- or rather, my- Shugo Chara had knocked over some trinkets from being so cantankerous and had immediately scattered. There was no one in that aisle, of course, which immensely confused the other customers, and I couldn't scold them in public lest I come off as an invalid. I heaved a sigh and handed the cashier the total I owed, then all but ran from the store with Nadeshiko-san and our Shugo Chara in tow.

Since we were still surrounded by people, I'd save the lecturing about acting out in public for later. Nadeshiko-san seemed to find the entire situation hilarious. "I've never had that problem with Temari," she said as we began walking in no particular direction (a stunt I'd never pull by myself).

"Lucky," I snorted. "They're just like poorly behaved children."

"Not true," Viv scoffed, swinging Kuro around like a propellor. "We're just curious." Unable to retort, I settled for glaring daggers at her, my mouth pressed into a thin line. She began whistling nonchalantly, then the godforsaken rabbit flung out from her grasp and hit some kid in the head. When he threw his head back to see what had hit him, all of us averted our gazes, pretending that we had nothing to do with it. It wasn't like I could apologize to him for something he couldn't see.

Every time I'd passed an undergarment store in my life, all the bright colours and bold designs always caught my attention (which was most likely the intended purpose). That day was no different. Due to some recent events, some of my bras were stained with blood; I could afford to invest in some new ones. I turned to Nadeshiko-san and asked, "Mind if we pop in here for a second?"

She certainly looked like she minded - her eyes were wide open, so much so that I could see the whites all around, and her smile was tight. She actually looked a bit… nervous."Sure," she said slowly, as if she was testing how the word sounded. "I don't mind. Let's, ah… go check it out." Nadeshiko-san did have the tendency to act strangely at times, but this was something different. Why was she so cautious about going into a bra store? I was giving her a questioning smile while we walked into the store, and she stuck close to me the whole time, even though our sizes were quite different.

"That one's nice," she offered, pointing at one made with baby pink silk and a lacy white overlay.

"Hm," I muttered, examining it. "I'm not really one for designs or anything - I prefer practicality." For some reason, she couldn't meet my eyes after I said that. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," I added quickly to make amends, in case I hurt her feelings. "It's just - well, do I look like the type who's into lace and whatnot?"

"Ugh." I didn't understand- she couldn't even look at me! What had I said? I was seriously mulling over everything I said, looking for some way to apologize, when she said, "I'm just going to go… over there. I'll be back in a second."

"Okay," I said, my voice small. After she'd left my side, I sighed lightly and picked up a silky black number with a small blue bow in the middle, and held it up to my chest experimentally. I never really cared what my bras looked like - I had zero reason to. But at that very moment, my eyes idly wandered to the shop window, just in time to lock gazes with the last person I wanted to catch me bra shopping.

I stood stock-still as Ikuto and I stared at each other through the glass, not even bothering to remove the bra from my chest. At least it was over top of my shirt. I completely expected him to smirk and say something sleazy, like he usually would have, but he only stared. That only made me more uncomfortable, but if I moved from my position, it would look like I gave a damn about what he thought of me. So I remained frozen, waiting for a reaction, then he took my by surprise by simply turning and walking away. Then I noticed that someone was with him - the blonde girl who had slandered me at my job and locked my in the equipment closet was walking right next to him, a proud grin etched onto her face like a regal painting as she hooked her arm with his.

Ex-fucking-scuse me? I had to physically prevent my mouth from dropping open, and Nadeshiko-san wandered back over to me just in time to see me shaking as if I was about to break into a seizure. "What's wrong?" And then she saw them. "Oh. Saaya Yamabuki, huh?" She shook her head, almost remorsefully. "She's been after Black Cat-san for as long as I can remember. Looks like she finally got what she wanted. Maybe he'll bother us less now."

I randomly grabbed a few bras in my size, including the one she'd pointed out, and grumbled, "Let's check out. I don't want to deal with an Easter employee on my day off." Of course, that was just an excuse. I honestly felt a little betrayed that he'd hang out with that girl - Saaya- after he'd defended me against her and had to deal with me when we were locked in the closet together. She herself had said that it was difficult to get him to talk to her, and now they were at the mall together on a date. What a hypocrite. I told myself I wasn't jealous, and I almost believed it. I was frustrated enough that it made sense to me at the time. Before Nadeshiko-san could notice how much that had upset me, I perked myself up and dragged her out from the store - in the opposite direction than that which the traitor was headed in.

Most of our shopping was of the window variety, and Nadeshiko-chan (she requested that I be less formal) asked me a cornucopia of questions - about my childhood, New Orleans, Mao (when I brought him up), and my parents. For a moment I was suspicious that she was merely gathering information for the Guardians, then reminded myself that I needed to trust people more. Not everyone had a hidden agenda (as Ikuto must have had). I didn't tell her anything about being adopted, since we didn't need to get into any of the nitty-gritty of that whole situation, but instead just spoke of the Johnstons like they were my real family - which is what I had always thought of them as. It got me thinking about what would have happened if my father had died sooner - like, when I was a baby. The memories I had of him wouldn't steal my breath from the pain blazing through my chest, leaving a trail of magma around everything that remained in that brief part of my childhood. And surely my mother wouldn't try to chop up a baby. Maybe I would never have even known I was adopted, and maybe that would have been easier. But then I never would have come to Akutetsu, and met all the wonderful people that I had. I wouldn't have met Lee, and would have had no one to guide me or teach me about the non-human parts of my lineage. Things were surely better the way they were, and I had no desire to change them if I could help it.

I actually admitted the Ian Somerhalder shrine thing to her, and as we were laughing (me doing so in shame) about it, I saw two familiar figures standing outside of what looked to be a small hardware store, taking inventory of the things they had bought. I figured I had a right to talk to my own uncle in public, and said to Nadeshiko-chan, "Look- there's my neighbour." I patted her back awkwardly, when in reality I had wanted to do something far more casual, like hook our arms or something. "Let's go say hi."

"Alright," she nodded cheerfully. She must have remembered him from that time the Guardians visited me and he popped by for lunch. We approached them, and I saw Lee's nose almost twitch from a distance, and he looked right at me. He must have caught wind of my scent or something. He narrowed his eyes at my companion briefly, then let his face melt into the mask of an easy smile, the one that had deceived me when I first arrived here. Ivalthea stood next to him, in yet another different form; this time she looked like she was playing the part of his assistant, wearing a white blouse under a black blazer and pencil skirt. Her hair was tamed into a low knot at the base of her neck with a few stray tendrils snaking (no pun intended) around her face. She looked much older than when she was "Isabelle", about the same age as Lee appeared to be, and almost reached up to him in height. Her eyes were still that same vivid red as we caught gazes and she smiled at me, and not in a cordial way, but an Ivalthea way, which implied a little bit of snake teeth and the shrinking of pupils. I hoped Nadeshiko-chan hadn't got a good look at that.

"Hey there," Lee greeted us when we finally stood before them. "I take it you girls are on a little shopping excursion today?"

"Mm-hmm," I replied, gesturing to the bags in my hands. "Lee, this is Nadeshiko Fujisaki. You might remember her from that time you were at my place for lunch."

"Of course," he said cheerfully, reaching out his hand to hers for a shake. I almost wanted to slap it away, to keep the demon overlord a safe distance away from the graceful human girl, but clenched my hands into fists instead, the plastic handles of the shopping bags in my hands growing slick with my clamminess. "Nice to see you again. I'm Snow's uncle, Lee Carceon."

Her brows rocketed up towards the skylight in the ceiling of the mall. "Her uncle?" She turned to me, her expression almost accusing. "You didn't say anything about an uncle."

"We just found out recently," I said quickly, then realized that might have sounded bizarre. "My dad never said anything about a brother before, and when we realized we kind of look alike…" I stood beside him for good measure, so she could catch the same sloped nose, the sharp cheekbones and jaw, and her eyes glittered with understanding. "We put the facts together."

"That's amazing," she murmured, looking genuinely touched. "What a happy coincidence."

"That's one word for it," I muttered, and my uncle elbowed me in the side, a silent message to watch my mouth.

"And this is my assistant," Lee continued, gesturing to Ivalthea. "Isabelle."

So she was using the same alias, then. It disturbed me to no end when there wasn't even the slightest hint of recognition in Nadeshiko-chan's gaze as she and the shapeshifter shook hands, but shivered a little at her reptilian coldness. "Nice to meet you," Ivalthea said, the smile on her face leaning more towards a smirk.

"So," I started, in a futile attempt to forget all about how Nadeshiko-chan's memory was completely wiped. "What are you guys shopping for?"

Lee held out the contents of his bag, and my eyes narrowed in suspicion. He had a few items that all seemed to point towards a potential kidnapping: rope, duct tape, a strip of cloth that may have served as a blindfold. "Aaaaand what are these for?" I asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

"You," he answered simply, cheerfully, and that was the moment I decided that Nadeshiko-chan and I needed to bolt.

"O-kay, well it's been nice chatting," I told him, dashing to Nadeshiko-chan's side and awkwardly throwing an arm around her shoulder while I began dragging her away. "I'll probably see you tomorrow."

"Come over when you get home," he called without even looking back at me, waving his hand once in a salute. I rolled my eyes and tried not to say anything misleading until we were a safe distance apart.

"Um," my friend said softly, turning to me with a concerned gaze. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing, nothing," I laughed, and the fakeness of it made me descend into coughs. I grabbed a tissue from my purse and held it to my mouth until I was done, then crushed it in my hand so she wouldn't see the blood. "He was just joking about all that - though I don't understand what could be so funny about pretending to be a kidnapper."

"Yeah, me neither," she said nervously. "But what are the chances? That your neighbour turned out to be your long-lost uncle."

"It sure came as a shock," I agreed, shaking my head in bewilderment. "I have this whole other family I never knew a thing about. I'm a little scared to think of meeting them." Not because I was worried about what they'd think of me, but because I was worried that they may want to eat me. My cousins were dragons, after all.

"There's something I don't understand," she murmured, her voice cautious. It was then I realized that I must have messed up somewhere in my story and that she had caught on to me. "You talk about your father like he's alive right now - but a while back you told Tadase-kun's father that he had died. And from the pictures you showed me," she added, gesturing to the pocket I kept my phone in, "you two don't look much alike."

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I knew that I was a horrible liar, and now all the lies and withheld truths were starting to catch up with me. I really didn't want to tell her, but I didn't want to keep lying, either; and there was really no other explanation for what was going on. So I pursed my lips and told her a little bit of the truth, omitting all the gory details: "My father did die, which is why I never knew I had an uncle. The man I showed you in the picture is my adopted father, Jack."

"I see." She went quiet for a moment, like she was afraid to ask, then decided that she would. "What happened to your mother?"

That was the one secret that I absolutely wanted to keep hidden, and so I came up with something on the spot. "No idea; she disappeared shortly after he died. I haven't heard from her at all since."

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said softly, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"No worries," I said cheerfully, planting a smile on my face. "I wouldn't really want to associate with a mother who left her five-year-old to fend for herself, you know? It doesn't matter to me." Though I came to Akutetsu to do the exact opposite, and to get some answers for the many questions that day had left me with. The situation had changed a bit since I found out that I was a half-demon, but I still wanted to know my mother's side of the story before I decided to leave her behind for the rest of my life. My Shugo Chara and I knew that I had forgiven her long ago, because of something my father told me when he was still around: "Living a life full of hatred and no forgiveness is not living; there's no sense in intentionally being bitter for all your life." Like he knew what was going to happen. Maybe demons had psychic powers, too. There was certainly more than one time when I felt like Lee could read my mind.

Three hours passed by in no time, and before I could even blink, we were back in the sleek black car, on our way to Nadeshiko-chan's house. When we arrived, I realized that 'manor' would have been a better description. It resembled Tadase-kun's in that traditional Japanese way, with a huge gate at the entrance with rounded tile roofs on top of the walls. The gardens within were well-tended to, despite the fact that it was the season in which they'd be dying. The camellias, for example, were still blooming strong and crimson, lighting up the rest of the brown and white yard. Nadeshiko-chan lead me up a stone walkway covered with snow to the main porch, which she slid the door open for and shut for me (since I was afraid of breaking it, irrational as that fear may have been). She took off her shoes immediately and placed all of her winter gear on hooks in the entrance, so I followed suit, including slipping my feet into some slippers located at the entrance. The inside was just as grand as the out, with gleaming floors that stretched into various hallways, all with sliding doors, some of which were open and revealed the tatami mats within. Floral arrangements were dotted here and there, and instead of seeming colourful and eclectic, they seemed very put together and calm, made of whites and softer colours.

"I would give you the tour," Nadeshiko-san began, already guiding me down a certain hallway that smelled of a calming incense, "but some of the house is kind of messy at the moment." I sincerely doubted that, and told her not to worry about it. She smiled apologetically, and continued, "I'll introduce you to my mother. She may come off as… well, strict, but don't worry about it – she's really very nice."

I suddenly realized how I must have looked in that traditional Japanese home, beside one of my friends who was the very definition of a refined lady, down to her outfit of a blouse, cardigan, and beige pants. Someone dressed in simple jeans and a sweater, with alien eyes, pale skin, and pure white hair. I was the exact opposite of graceful and refined, and stood out so much simply by walking in a neutral yet pristine hallway. I tried to crush the sudden flash of self-conciousness that coursed through me – no need to bring out my colour even more by letting my cheeks go bright red. It felt too hot in there suddenly, and I repressed the urge to fan my face, and instead kept my hands on the handle of the small present bag I'd brought with me to give to her mother. She kneeled on the floor in front of a sliding door suddenly, and knocked lightly on the wood frame beside it. I quickly followed her lead, not wanting to seem disrespectful, and started to sincerely regret not looking into Japanese culture more before I came here. I was only a quarter, so we never practised anything of this sort in my old home, and I'd honestly never thought I'd needed to. I held in a sigh as a gentle voice floated out from beneath the door, beckoning us inside, and Nadeshiko-chan slid the door open to reveal a slightly older version of her, with hair pinned back into a refined knot, dressed in a lilac kimono with almost doilie-like patterns on it, with a dark violet obi holding it together.

She bowed her head to me upon entering, and I did the same in return. Her face looked carefully blank, a purely polite smile in place, as Nadeshiko-chan and I sat on our knees before her. Because I rarely ever sat like that, I had to keep myself from shifting in discomfort, and watched as an older woman entered with a tray of tea cups and leaves and various instruments I didn't recognize. They were placed in front of Nadeshiko-chan's mother, who bowed gratefully and turned to me, and I didn't miss the assessing look in her eyes. I sat a bit straighter as I faced her as squarely as I could manage without seeming haughty, and Nadeshiko-chan's voice chimed out from beside me: "Mother, this is my good friend, Snow Hisayuki-chan. Snow-chan, this is my mother, Noriko Fujisaki."

"A pleasure to meet you," Noriko-san said as she lowered her head before me, and I repeated the gesture and phrase. She then began to prepare the tea in what I was sure was a very strict and traditional way, each gesture calculated and precise, her gaze unwavering from her task. As she whisked the leaves very quickly in the cups, she paused and turned to me, her gaze severe. "Normally the head of the household would be here to greet you, but unfortunately he is away on business. My sincere apologies."

"Oh, it's absolutely alright," I said, probably sounding overly casual but too nervous to care. Not knowing where else to take the conversation, I said, "Your home is very beautiful."

"Thank you," she murmured gratefully, a smile on her face. Was that what Nadeshiko-chan would look like when she got older? I would wager so. My friend sat quietly beside me, her gaze somewhat unfocused as if deep in thought. Even though they couldn't be seen by adults, my Shugo Chara were all sitting in very respectful postures, which was a nice change. Satsuki actually looked right at home in this place – her and Temari sat next to each other, two peas in a pod. After being served the tea (and me struggling with the proper way to drink it), Noriko-san's attention was drawn to the gift bag beside me. "Pardon me, Hisayuki-san, but what is that bag you have got there?"

"Oh," I said hurriedly, gently setting down the tea. "This is a gift for you, Noriko-san. I'm sorry, I didn't know what to get you – "

She gasped suddenly, and I froze, worried I'd done something wrong. But, as it turned out, she was gasping in delight at my gift. I decided to forego the sweets and instead go for the detergent everyone had been raving about lately, and the one I personally preferred. She showed it to the housekeeper, who seemed quite impressed, and then she turned to me with a genuine smile. "That will help us immensely! Thank you so much."

"It's no trouble," I smiled in return. "That's the kind I use at home, so I know it works well."

Noriko-san cocked her head to the side, curious about something I'd said. "You do the laundry at your home?"

"Snow-chan lives by herself," Nadeshiko-chan answered for me, for which I was immensely grateful. "She turned eighteen this January, and moved from New Orleans to live here."

"Oh my," her mother said sympathetically, returning to her respectful sitting position. "That must be hard on you, young as you are. If you ever need any assistance, know that we are always here to help."

"Thank you very much," I said honestly, my cheeks lighting up a little in delight. She didn't hate me! That had to be a good start.

"If you don't mind my asking," she started quietly, her hands placed eloquently in her lap. "What was it that made you decide to move here in the first place?"

Well, shit. "For my education," I said vaguely, my right eye twitching a bit from the lie. "I wanted to have some travel and whatnot to be considered by universities." That was the most bullshit lie I'd ever told. I felt horrible, lying to my friend's mother like that, but luckily she swooped in and saved my ass before I could put any more feet in my mouth.

"Snow-chan," she began, clapping her hands together excitedly, which her mother shot a look at. "Would you like to take a look at my dance practise?"

"Of course," I said quickly, and we both stood as her mother and the housekeeper lead us to an alternate room in the house. This one was a typical dance studio, with hardwood floors and a mirror wall on one side, with screen paneling on the other. Nadeshiko-chan was dressed in a lovely light purple kimono, one almost identical to her mother's, and took a white folding fan in her hand. That dancing style was surreally different than Yaya-san's; each movement was fluid, graceful, and precise, while not doing anything too complicated. Each gesture seemed to have a purpose behind it, and I was entranced as I sat on my knees next to her mother and housekeeper. The music that played was the kind I'd only heard in movies, like the sound of a koto. She bowed lightly at the end, and I found myself clapping hard enough for an entire audience when there were only three people watching.

"That was incredible," I told her, and she almost seemed to blush a little when she smiled in gratitude. Her mother's face was blank, her eyebrows slightly drawn, and she commented, "She still has a long way to go."

Nadeshiko-chan's joyous expression flickered for a moment, but she shook it off quickly and suggested that we do something else. As we were exiting the room, her to get changed, a few photos hung up on the wall caught my eye. They all seemed to be pictures of previous dancing classes, and the pupil's and instructor's faces were all stoic. The tall man with dark hair that appeared in each with the stern expression had to be Nadeshiko-chan's father. I smiled as I took in their similar features, then a girl in one of the pictures from more than a decade ago caught my eye. I recognized something about her. I wasn't sure what gave it away; the dark, elegant hairstyle, the bright aqua eyes, or the fact that her name was listed below, but I realized that I was staring at a picture of my mother when she was younger. Noriko-san caught me looking, and came beside me to explain, "One of our star pupils. She was taught in my father-in-law's time, but her talent is still revered even today. Her name is Audrey Fallon. I took classes with her." She paused for a moment and considered. "I wonder how she's doing nowadays."

"She was… a star pupil," I repeated quietly, dumbly, enough to get Noriko-san's attention.

"Do you recognize her?" She asked politely, a small smile on her face.

"No," I said with an easy grin. "Just thinking that she looks very beautiful. She must have been a great dancer."

"I hope she continued dancing," Noriko-san sighed, placing a hand on her cheek. "She had such a natural talent. I even viewed her as my rival."

As I laughed politely in response, I began to realize that my father was not the only one who made sacrifices for my sake.

---

As it turned out, Nadeshiko-chan's family had made an investment in an open-air bath quite some time ago. Despite my suspicions, Nadeshiko-chan assured me that it felt especially nice in the winter, when the water was so hot and steamy. I felt somewhat pressured into trying it out by her and her mother, and found myself standing stupidly in the room meant as a place to get undressed and whatnot, preparing to try my first open-air bath. Noriko-san had given me some fluffy towels (freshly washed with my gift), and I hesitated for a long time before finally beginning to strip down. My Shugo Chara were already way past that, and we making fun of how each other looked naked. That was a horrible conversation to bear witness to, and suddenly I wanted nothing more than to stick my head underwater in the bath and drown them out. I tossed my shirt haphazardly into my bag, put my hair up in a knot, and was about to begin undoing my bra when Nadeshiko-chan's voice was suddenly in the room with me.

"Sorry," she said as she entered with a white piece of cloth in her hands. "I forgot to give you a robe…" She trailed off as her eyes got a good look at my torso without anything to protect it, at the scars the star pupil of her family's dancing school had carved into it. Her eyes widened in something resembling horror, despite her obvious efforts not to show any reaction, and since the cat was already out of the bag, I walked over to her with no expression and took the robe into my hands. "Thanks," I murmured, feeling the scars buzzing along my skin in irritation and shame.

"I…" She was clearly at a loss for words. Normally, scars like mine would have appeared at an attempt at self-harm, except for the fact that they reached to my back, which meant that they couldn't have been self-inflicted. She abruptly remembered where she was and what I had come in there to do, and quickly apologized. She turned away, as if to leave the room, but my curious voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Aren't you coming in?" I asked innocently. I thought it was normal for more than one person to get into an open-air bath, but she looked at me like I had just swallowed the robe she brought me whole. I didn't believe that she was disgusted by the sight of my scars; she wasn't someone who would be swayed by something like that. Something else was bothering her, and she fled the scene before I could ask.

She was right about the bath, though. It was pleasant to soak and stare at the night sky in the winter, despite my Shugo Chara splashing around like lunatics. The water was almost unbearably warm on my heat-sensitive skin, and I ended up getting out a lot sooner than a normal human would have. I remained in only a towel for a bit, trying to cool down again, before attempting to put on the robe. I knew enough to wrap the left side over the right, but needed some assistance tying the sash. Satsuki was happy to oblige, and I took my hair down before looking the mirror and realized I looked like a freaking phantom. I almost snorted with laughter, grabbed my bag and headed back to Nadeshiko-chan's room only to discover that she was missing. I shrugged to myself and set my bag down before going over to the sliding door that lead to the backyard to gaze out at the winter scenery. The moon shone off the snow, giving it the appearance of stardust, and the bare branches of the small trees in the garden were oddly charming. I found myself thinking of my mother, of the life she may have had before meeting my father, and began to wonder if those who got involved with demons were only met with misfortune. It was a bleak idea, but one that had been proven thus far by events that had occurred. I clutched my father's necklace around my neck in my hand, until the points of the cross drew blood from my palm.

"Snow-chan?" I heard Nadeshiko-chan say suddenly from behind me, and I whirled to face her, dropping my hand from my neck. She was shivering slightly, and I quickly apologized while sliding the door shut. When I turned back to face her, calmly this time, she didn't look the least bit uncomfortable. In fact, she seemed almost delighted as she set up our futons next to each other, instructing me on how to unroll them and the like. She settled onto hers and patted mine to suggest I do the same. I warily took my place adjacent to her, wondering if she wanted to say something. It was already well past eleven – we'd spent most of our time playing card games, watching television, and even baking cookies. I'd gotten the taste of what a real sleepover was like, and just had to ruin it by only thinking of myself yet again. I was ashamed to even look at her.

"I won't ask," she began, startling me. She was smiling, but there was a glimmer of sadness in her eyes; sadness that I wouldn't tell her what was really going on, sadness that came from the knowledge that I was lying. "You have a right to your secrets. But I do wish you'd tell me someday."

"Maybe someday I will," I responded carefully, nervously brushing hair away from my face. "But I just – it's not something I like to talk about."

She nodded in understanding. There was a few moments of silence before she said, "Can I ask just one question?" When I didn't respond, she decided to anyway. "Did you do them yourself?"

I was quiet for a long time. My Shugo Chara stared up at me from lying down on the futon, waiting to see how I'd respond. Then I finally shook my head in response. That obviously just over-complicated the whole situation, but Nadeshiko-chan simply nodded again and said that it was time for bed. As she shut off the lights and we settled into our respective futons, she abruptly reached out to me in the dark and took hold of my hand.

"We're friends," she whispered in the darkness, her voice amplified by the silence. "I want you to trust me. Of course I'll wait for you to say whatever you want but…" Her grip on my hand tightened, and though she couldn't see me in the dark, I could with my more-than-human eyes. She looked as though she was about to cry. "I'm worried about you. I don't want you to… suffer. I don't know if that's the right word for it."

"I'm not suffering," I told her honestly, returning the grip. "Things are just complicated. But thank you for telling me that." A pause as I take a deep breath, forcing down the burning lump in my throat – the threat to cry I could never make good on. "It really means a lot to me."

We fell asleep like that, hand-in-hand, and for once in my life, I felt like I'd found a true comrade. Maybe someone didn't have to be involved with demons to understand me. Maybe they just had to be a good person. One day I would tell her the truth, and while it may worsen her burden, it would bring us closer. I knew I wanted a friend like that, and once again I was merely reminded of the minimal time I had left.

Normally I couldn't sleep in any bed but my own, but that night I conked out easily, with having someone beside me. A companion was all I needed to keep the nightmares away.

---

On Monday, Tadase-kun ruefully informed me that Nadeshiko-chan was gone.

She'd left me a letter, one detailing the information of her sudden departure. She was going abroad to refine her dancing skills, and didn't know when she'd be back. She apologized numerous times. It was not a sudden decision; I'd seen bags packed in her room, and figured she was going on vacation during winter break or something. But it was so much worse. I lost someone else I thought I could rely on, and I thought I was going to choke with regret.

I skipped first period for the first time in my life. It would be difficult sitting in that classroom without her. So the Guardians were down to three, one of which was still a self-centered amateur. I broke into the roof of our school by letting my emotions take control and freezing the lock on the door, then bust it open and laid in the snow outside. My breath fogged the air, and I stared up at the sky cloaked with ashen clouds, signalling a snowstorm on its way. I let it seep into my clothes, feeling nothing but room temperature water on my back and legs, and my Shugo Chara said nothing the entire time. This was a surprise to them as well, for once; they'd been shocked, along with the other Charas, to learn of Temari's disappearance. Who knew what was going to the Guardians with so little man-power to combat Easter. And it looked like Ikuto wasn't too interested in making nice with me any more, either.

I figured the frost cloaking my new egg like seran wrap was just its design changing again. Little did I know that it was just foreshadowing a far worse storm to come, one where yet another piece of me would be lost because of how inadequate and inhuman I was. But at that moment, all I cared for was solitude. Perhaps that was the way I was meant to be all along: alone.

Everyone at once: "Ugh."

Crimrose: "Ugh is right. I'm a horrible person."

Snow: "Well, at least you made it so Ikuto doesn't bug me as much anymore."

Ikuto: "Just you wait. I'm gonna be coming back with a vengeance."

Snow: *Gets really quiet, then suddenly screeches:* "Ikuto? More like Iku-NO."

Ikuto: "You have to leave now."

Snow: "WHAT! WHY?"

Ikuto: "You lost your privilege to be here the second you said that."

Snow: "BUT I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER!"

Crimrose: "He's hotter than you, tho."

Snow: "!" *Gives Ikuto a death glare* "I just made a song for you. You've gotta sing it to the tune of Bingo."

Ikuto: "Goodie."

Snow: "🎵 There was a pervert who was a cat and Ikuto was his name-o 🎵"

Ikuto: "Christ."

Snow: "🎵 I-K-UTO 🎵 "

Ikuto: "Stop now."

Snow: "🎵 I-K-UTO 🎵"

Ikuto: "You're actually upsetting me."

Snow: "🎵 I-K-UTO, and Ikuto was his name-o 🎵"

Ikuto: "Our kids our gonna hate you."

Snow: "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?"

Crimrose: "Please stay tuned for next time to see things get even worse! Typical of me to have a love-hate relationship with all my main characters. Also, I've officially decided that there is a pattern for the arcs in this fanfic: It goes like original, manga, original, manga, etc... So after this arc (Black Diamond) finishes, we're gonna be moving on to one of my own creation that introduces yet another OC (ONE I LOVE), and then we're moving on to my FAVOURITE ARC IN THE MANGA/ANIME. I WONDER WHY!"

Snow: "Why?"

Crimrose: *Grins mischievously* "That's a surprise for you, m'dear. Once again..."

Everyone: "MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!"

Crimrose: "And happy belated birthday to Ikuto. Since he was seventeen when the manga was published in 2006, that would means he's... twenty-six. God you're old."

Ikuto: "Glad I'm still young and sprightly in this, though."