Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just an uninvited guest swimming in her pool.

The Path We Chose

Chapter 21: Veil Lifted

Three days of Alice refusing to come over or talk about Jasper had come and gone before I drove to her house after school, grabbed her hand and took her by force to the Cullens'.

"You're coming with me. No more wallowing," I said. She lacked the strength to argue. He arm was limp as I pulled her along to my truck.

I hadn't seen any interaction between her and Jasper in the last three days, and they weren't riding to school together anymore. For the first hour or so, I avoided the Jasper subject and she seemed relieved and even relaxed a little bit.

I showed her the three pictures on my wall of my growing baby and then I showed her my growing stomach.

"Alice, look," I said and lifted up my shirt. "You can't tell with my clothes on, but look at that." I put a hand on my stomach and so did she.

"Bella," she said, and smiled. "you're so cute. No, you're beautiful. You really are."

"Thank you. Come on. Let's get some food and feed baby."

She followed me downstairs, willingly. I didn't even have to take her hand. When we got to the bottom of the stairs and crossed the foyer, Edward entered the house, Jasper right behind him. Jasper froze in his spot when he saw Alice and stared at her for a minute before his expression turned into pain. I looked at Edward. Was this a mistake?

"I thought you said you were volunteering at Birch Gardens," Alice said. "You lied to me so I wouldn't try to see you?" She turned from him and headed into the living room, the rest of us following.

"I didn't lie. I am working there today. I just came here first because Edward said…" He turned to Edward. "…you don't need to talk to me do you, man? What is this?!"

Alice spoke before Edward could answer. "Don't let me interrupt your talk. No worries, Jasper. I'll go."

"Wait, Alice," I said.

"You, too?" she said.

"J," Edward said, "I don't know what is going on with your parents, but it has nothing to do with you and Alice. Look at her. I know you can feel her pulling away from you. If I can see it, so can you. Something is really up with you, J. I don't know what it is but it's ruining what you have with Alice. I can't let that happen. I know I wouldn't want to fuck things up with Bella like that." He paused and looked at me, then shook his head. "I mean I wouldn't want to hurt her or lose her. Not ever. If you lose this chance with Alice, you'll regret it. You know that."

"Who says he hasn't already lost me?"

Jasper's head shot to Alice. He seemed to crumble right there…into bits. He sank into the nearest chair. "Don't say that, Alice."

"Why not? You're avoiding me. You say you love me too much and I don't understand that. If you're going to dump me Jasper, just do it now. Go be with someone you can love just enough. Get it over with. Don't drag it on like this. Just do it!"

His eyebrows narrowed further and he kept shaking his head. "I'd never dump you. Hurting you is what I fear the most." He shut his eyes. "Fuck. Alice, can we talk somewhere else?"

"It's okay," I said. "We'll leave."

"No! You stay right where you are," Alice said. "Jasper's had plenty of chances to talk to me alone. He blew it. Go ahead. Say what you have to say."

He stood up and stared down at her. He didn't move. He was like a statue, a rock; his lips didn't open; his eyes didn't blink. I could have climbed on him, all the way up his legs to his shoulders--he was that still. When he finally moved, he turned to Edward. "Why did you do this? You could have mentioned she would be here, man."

"Maybe I went about it wrong. I'm not you, J. But I owe you this."

"You don't owe me anything. I don't keep score."

"Well, I do."

"Alice," I said, "Let us give you privacy." She took my hand.

"No. I don't need it. Take me home right now, Bella. He obviously doesn't want to talk to me."

She pulled me toward the door and I shot a look at Edward. What do I do now? The answer wasn't in his face.

"Wait." Jasper grabbed Alice by the wrist. She yanked it away and his arm dropped to his side. "I'm just so…Alice, I can't fucking talk about it. I'm going to fu…" He covered his face with his hands. "I'm scared of hurting you."

"You are hurting me. Right now, Jasper. This hurts."

His hands fell to his sides again and he looked at her with wet eyes and then he shut them tight. "I know. I can feel it and I'm sorry. I hate the way I'm making you feel right now." His eyes opened again. "I-I love you." He took a step toward her but she stepped back.

I started to back away slowly hoping Alice wouldn't notice. Jasper really wanted them to be alone. It was obvious he was not comfortable sharing his feelings in front of an audience.

"I know. You love me too much. I remember. Bella, stop moving."

"Alice," I said, but Jasper interrupted me.

"I meant I love you too much to hurt you. I can't trust myself right now. I'm all mixed up. Here," he reached out to her. "take my hand. I think it will be easier for me to explain if--"

"I'm not touching you!"

"Okay," he sighed. "Look baby. I have so many different people's emotions running through my veins right now and I can't separate them." His voice grew gradually louder as he explained. "I'm carrying my mother's sadness, my father's anger, my own fear, and your pain--all at once, Alice! And see, now I'm Fucking yelling at you! Fuck." He brought a hand to his forehead and took a deep breath. When he spoke again he was calm. "My father's anger is strong inside me…I can't hurt you like my dad hurt my mom. I won't! I'm just trying to give that anger a chance to subside, weaken its hold on me, before I say something or do something to you that I'll regret. That's how much I love you and it scares the hell out of me that I might hurt you. You don't know what it's like to watch a love like my parents' slowly deteriorate. The fact that it's even a possibility is…that can't happen to us!" He raised his voice again and in the next instant it was low again. "And look at you, you're so amazing, you're already forgiving me, aren't you? I don't deserve it, but you are." A faint smile traced his lips.

"Why didn't you tell me, Jasper? I had no idea because you weren't talking to me."

"Because, like I said, I'm scared. I can't keep my thoughts straight and whatever I say might come out wrong, and I don't want to take any of my frustrations out on you. It's safer for us if I don't talk. And I'm sorry I yelled at you. God!" He paused and looked into her eyes for a minute. She held his gaze. "Step closer. I'll keep my hands off you. Just step closer, please."

She took a step toward him and he motioned with his hand for her to come closer. "No hands," he said, holding them both up. She took another step. And then he broke any distance left between them. He bent down, hands behind his back, as promised, and kissed her. As soon as their lips touched, Alice's arms were around his neck and she was kissing him back. She took his arms and put them around her and Jasper was interspersing apologies between kisses until their kissing grew so deep he could no longer speak. I wondered how much longer Alice would really remain a virgin. I had to look away. I went to Edward and we both smiled at each other and left out the back sliding door before either of them noticed we were leaving. I grabbed a box of crackers on the way out which made Edward laugh.

We walked toward the creek and over his footbridge to our big rock where we sat together. He took the box of crackers from me and fed me one and then himself one. "That was so close," I said. "It almost blew up right in front of us."

"No. I knew that if Jasper could just see he was about to lose Alice it would give him the shock of reality he needed to talk to her. He's been in a cloud. He had to be knocked down to Earth." He picked up a stone and tossed it into the creek. It plunked into the water, joining and blending with the rest of the rocks down there. The water was flowing quickly but at the same time seemed at peace. I wanted to take off my shoes and step into it. Join its steady flow. But I knew it was freezing and I wouldn't be able to even hold a toe in there. "Did you see them? I wonder if they're in your room by now." And then I laughed because I knew how he'd felt when Emmett and Rosalie took over his room on New Year's.

"Better not be." He grabbed me and pulled me close to his side. "Bella, do you know what Jasper told me? I asked him how he could hold out so long with Alice. I mean, do you know what restraint it takes for me to keep my hands off you? I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that I want you all the time. I thought maybe it was easier for him to hold back if she was hesitant, but he said that it's harder because he not only feels her hesitancy, but her desire. I mean, can you imagine? Doubling a seventeen-year-old guys desire? That's insane."

"Poor Jasper."

"Tell me about it. He told us he was weak that one time, but he's fucking strong."

Both of us stared out at the creek. "I want to come here when it's sunny out. It must be beautiful in the sun."

His lips touched my cheek and his finger turned my chin toward him until our mouths found each other. "It is…" he kissed me, his tongue reaching for mine, "…beautiful."

Alice and Jasper were both gone when we arrived back at the Cullens' and there was no sign of them having stepped foot in Edward's room.

Jasper remained quiet for weeks, but Alice wasn't upset by it. She'd kiss his cheek every-so-often and get a smile from him. His arms were around Alice again and those were the times when his face relaxed, as though her feeling of content was leaking into him . It was relieving to see. Slowly he started joining in our lunch conversations until finally he was laughing again at the spectacle that was Emmett, who was actually mind-wrestling his chemistry teacher--challenging him on the Big Bang theory. He'd grabbed the unsuspecting Mr. Banner's attention by opening with a lab question that developed into theology questioning. Finally, Mr. Banner told Emmett to bring it up in class.

"No way," Emmett said. "I'm not giving you time to research the subject. I don't work that way, Mr. Banner. You either know your stuff or you don't."

That was when Mr. Banner left our lunch table and we all laughed…including Jasper.

The day after Jasper finally laughed on that rainy Tuesday at the tail end of April, held more significance than I could have imagined upon waking up that morning. I should have known something was up when my only clothing option was a skirt. I had to wear the cotton thing because I happened to be behind on laundry and my only clean pair of jeans were too tight. I'm pretty sure this was the first time I'd worn a skirt since I'd moved to Forks. I used to wear them in Phoenix because on really hot days they kept me cool.

I had to keep pushing Edward's hand away in the car on the way to school. He seemed to like that I was wearing a skirt. I felt his hand drifting up my thigh again.

"Edward, stop." I laughed and pushed his hand back to my knee.

"Then don't be so tempting, Bella." He took his eyes off the road for a second to look at me, his hand pushing back against my skirt revealing more of my thigh. "Your legs." I started to push his hand away again, but he held onto my thigh and said, "leave it."

"Watch the road," I said, but I did leave his hand there. I looked out my window and smiled at the fir trees. Who was I kidding? I liked his hand right where it was.

Between first and second period, I was stopped by Jessica. She was right there when I shut my locker and turned around.

"Either you got breast implants, or you're pregnant," she said, her arms folded in front of her, her head tilted--her signature stance, it seemed. "You never wear make-up or style your hair. You don't pay any attention to the way you dress. Obviously your appearance is not a top priority for you, so that eliminates implants. I've seen you puke, and you live with Edward. I'm going with pregnant."

I just looked at her. How could I deny it? Jessica or not, I couldn't deny my baby. I touched my stomach and smiled.

"Break up with Edward and I won't tell anyone."

"Does your brain work?" I felt like knocking on her head. "I'm not breaking up with Edward. You can tell whoever you want."

"Bella, why have you always hated me? Ever since we first met. We could have been friends but you dropped me for those other people. Is it because you wanted Edward so badly you would step on all your friends to get him?"

"We were never friends, Lauren."

"I'm Jessica."

"You're one and the same," I waved my hand at her because her name really didn't matter to me. "And I don't hate you because I don't care enough about you. You're phony and sad and insignificant, really, and I think that scares you more than anything. Everything you do, the way you act, it's all to make yourself feel significant but it only makes it worse, doesn't it? If I did have any feeling for you at all, it would be pity."

And then she pushed me. She pushed me right into the locker. I stood there, the lock digging into my spine. She looked shocked, herself, at first, but then she glared. I couldn't fight back and she knew it. To make matters worse, I was in this damned skirt. I searched for a friendly face in the kids passing by. Some students had stopped to watch. An audience would only make Jessica behave worse. My heart was pounding so hard I felt it in my stomach--in my feet. And then I saw her.

"Angela!" I said. She looked at me with question marks in her deep brown eyes. We hadn't really talked since my first week here other than a few hellos in the halls.

"Yeah Bella?" She walked toward me and as soon as she was close enough, I linked arms with her like we were best friends and led her away from Jessica who was laughingbehind me.I prayed she would remain where she was.

I dropped Angela's arm. "I'm sorry. I just had to get away from Jessica."

"Believe me, I completely understand." She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. If anyone's face was made for glasses, it was hers. They made her more attractive. For just a second, I wondered what it was that made Edward fall for me and not her. But I let it go. I wasn't about to question fate or feelings or whatever it was that brought Edward and me together.

"Would you mind walking with me to Mr. Molina's class? I need to talk to Edward."

She didn't mind. I asked her how things were with Ben. She said they were fine and gave me her genuine smile. Now I could be happy, guilt-free, that things didn't work out between her and Edward. Happy for her and for me. I thanked her and waited at the door for Edward. I looked for his face in every student that passed. Finally, the right face was there.

"Bella? What are you doing here?"

"Can I borrow your car? I'm leaving for the day. I'll pick you up after school."

"Are you sick? What's wrong?"

"No." I stood on tiptoe, holding his shoulders to whisper in his ear, "Jessica knows. People are going to find out." His hands came to mine on top of his shoulders, his fingers clasping.

"Who told her?"

"She guessed."

"What? How?"

I looked down at my chest and up at him. He got it. I could tell by the little sideways smile playing on his lips. He reached for his keys, placed them in my hand and kissed me. "Be careful," he said, "the rain."

Barefoot and snacking on a pear in the Cullen's kitchen, I called Carlisle to tell him I was ready for independent study. He said he would set it up for me, but I should finish out this week at school. Distracted by the sweet taste of the pear and frantically checking the fruit bowl for another one, I made him wait on the line until I found one more pear under the apples.

"Bella?" he said.

"Oh, sorry. I can't go back there, Carlisle." I didn't tell him that it was because the school halls were lousy with idiots. He agreed to excuse me for the next few days. I had barely hung up the phone when Edward's voice bellowed through the house calling my name. I'm in the kitchen, I told him, putting the second pear down.

"Why didn't you tell me about the fight?" He dropped his backpack and placed a hand on the counter.

"Because there wasn't a fight."

"Everyone's talking about it. You and Jessica."

"Do they know about me?"

"No one was talking about the pregnancy, just you and Jessica. Tyler said you pushed her. Did you push her because she figured it out?"

"If I pushed her, it was only with words. She pushed me. I fell into the lockers. I didn't do anything. I couldn't." My hand automatically went to my belly and then his was there, too, on top of mine.

"She pushed you?" He turned around like he was going to stomp right back out of the house, but in stead of leaving he faced me again. "Are you okay? Did she hurt you?"

"No. I'm fine. Did you talk to Jessica?"

"I didn't have time to go looking for her. I had to come straight to you."

"Wait. How did you get here?"

"Jasper dropped me off. He had library hour anyway. I'm calling my dad." He reached for the phone.

"I just did. I told him I won't be going back to school, but I didn't tell him exactly why."

"I'm telling him. We're not keeping this to ourselves when it also involves baby."

"Just promise you won't do anything at school. Ignore her. I don't want you getting in trouble again."

"I'm going to talk to her, Bella. She can't do this."

"Just talk, then. No yelling. Stay calm. Don't get in trouble." I kissed him. "Promise?"

"I promise," he said and kissed me. "I'm glad you're okay." And then he reminded me that we were alone in the house by putting his hands, his perfect hands, all over my body. He licked my lips, "mmm, pear." We didn't even bother going to his room. We did make it to the living room sofa, though. He said in a quick breath that the kitchen floor wasn't gentle enough for me.

On the sofa, my shirt was pushed up, my bra open but still on, and my skirt was scrunched up to my waist. My panties and Edward's shirt were the only articles of clothing that had made it off our bodies and onto the floor. He was on top of me, his pants pushed down to his knees and he was still wearing his shoes. My after-quivers hadn't finished their quakes yet when we both laughed at our own sight.

"We're like an old married couple," he said, "We can't even bother with getting naked."

"It's just been a while," I said.

"It's been two days, Bella." We laughed at my logic. "The way we are, it was inevitable that you would get pregnant."

"Well, then after baby is born, we're going to have to be extremely careful. Pills, condoms, diaphragms, because I am not having another baby until we are good and ready."

He stroked my hair out of my face, moving the strands that had stuck to my cheek and my lip and then kissed me.

"It still felt good, " I said.

"Felt so fucking good." He tried to pull out of me, but I held him tight between my legs. He laughed and gave my throat a kiss just under my jaw. "You."

"What about me?"

He tucked his arms around me and squeezed so tight it made me gasp. "Just, you. You're perfect."

"Nobody's perfect. Everyone has flaws."

"If you're flawed, then you're perfectly flawed." His lips brushed my jaw and left kisses down my throat, his tongue and his breath sending chills over my body. "No flaws there." He kissed lower until he got to my shirt. He pulled on it with his teeth. "Here's a flaw."

I had to agree with that and made a suggestion. "Let's go upstairs, take off all our clothes and try it again, naked. Let's see which way is better." He thought that was the best experiment in history.

The first way was fast, spontaneous and full of need, now, and passion. And on the sofa. The second way was on his bed and slow--all skin against skin and lips and tongues exploring until neither of us could stand it anymore. Both of us tortured at our own euphoric peak, neither allowed completely over the edge, until I pushed him down, got on top of him and demanded it. Our result was inconclusive. Neither one of us could decide which was better.

"Both good," I said on a deep breath.

"Hear, hear," he said with all the enthusiasm he could muster. We were both on our backs, completely still, aside from our heaving chests. "Let's take a nap before my mom gets home." He turned over and dropped an arm over me. I didn't care that it was heavy and lazily slung across my chest to my shoulder. I rested my hand on his forearm and rubbed at the hair there. He gripped my shoulder for just a second--an answer to my touch. Then his hand fell limp as he succumbed to sleep. I followed.

"Bella! Bella!" Esme's voice floating up the stairs, and the front door slamming startled me from sleep. I was up in an instant scurrying for my clothes. Edward threw my bra at me but I didn't bother with it. I slipped my t-shirt over my head and yanked my skirt on. Edward laughed at me, smoothing my hair, and I rushed out, following the sounds of banging cabinets and pots in the kitchen.

"Bella. Stir this." She handed me a big spoon and motioned toward a large mixing bowl. I set it down and washed my hands before I started my stirring. "I need to make three dozen cupcakes and get them to the school in less than two hours. Today's the Bake Sale and one of the moms got sick and can't do it." She had been gathering ingredients throughout her explanation. She was like a whirlwind in the kitchen and making so much noise you would think there were five of us in there instead of two. I just stood in my spot stirring as instructed.

Though Esme wore her chef hat well, the baker's hat did not quite fit. Her recipe was spread out in front of her and she kept checking it and re-checking it, then adding ingredients to the creamy mixture I was in charge of stirring. Edward sauntered into the kitchen relaxed and whistling, and shirtless. What was he trying to do to me? I smiled at him and when our eyes met, we both laughed.

"You two, always laughing at something." Esme said. "Edward, grab the cupcake liners from the pantry, will you?" She plugged in the mixer and handed it to me without a word, then her head was in the refrigerator. I didn't know what speed to use, so I just picked one, pressed the button and mixed. Edward came back with the liners, he was humming now. Esme grabbed them from him and began lining the pans on the counter next to me. I paused the mixer to scrape the sides of the bowl with a spatula. Edward's arms came around me from behind, felt their way under my shirt to my stomach, and he kissed my ear, following it up with a slow lick and a warm breath, reawakening my goose bumps. My eyes closed and I smiled. He had yet to say a word. He was so post-coital it was ridiculous…and embarrassing…and adorable.

I couldn't help but reach back to put my hand on his naked bicep. It called to me.

"The two of you remind me of Carlisle and me," Esme said cheerily. Then she froze, she actually paused for the first time since I joined her in the kitchen and her eyes widened, looking from Edward to me and back at him again. I'm pretty sure I blushed as my eyes shot back to my mixing responsibility. I started the mixer up again. Edward gave me a squeeze before letting go, leaving my skin lonely without his touch.

"Um, How is that looking Bella?" Esme asked.

"I think it's ready."

She took the bowl from me and started dropping the batter into the pans with her big spoon. I looked past her at Edward, my Edward, who was smiling at me.

Are you still with me? Let me know with a review.

What do you think of double-post-coital Edward? Ridiculous? Embarrassing? Adorable? Or something else?