Chapter 21

Jasper might have been out of the room now, but he was far from out of my head. Even though I no longer heard his dialogue, I couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of him; his words still echoing in my ear…"We will be together…soon." What did that even mean?

I turned around to see two very bemused looking vampires staring down at me now. Both Eric and Bill had their arms crossed at their chests, and both had similar gazes of question as they looked at me, then to each other, and back at me.

"What?" I all but snapped, not sure I wanted either of them to know what had just taken place in my head. If they knew that somehow Jasper was able to get inside of my mind, and especially what his intentions were, well I was pretty positive it would spell final death for the fallen king. And I didn't necessarily want to see the guy finally dead, I mean sure, he was giving me the creeps a little, but something inside of me said he was a decent guy given half a chance, and there was something else about him, other than his flawless looks, that drew me toward him, even after all that had happened.

Yup, I thought, I've gone off the deep end. Maybe I did come back from California with Stockholm Syndrome.

"Look, I said I want to go home, so do you mind?"

"If that's what you want," Eric said, trying to sound like he didn't care, but was obviously marginally disappointed.

"I appreciate the dress Eric, and I understand you thought I'd want to be here tonight, I'm sorry I was…uncomfortable."

"Sookie," Bill said. "I don't think you have anything to apologize for, he should have known you would be uncomfortable." He was giving Eric a scowling look. I had a feeling, judging by the equally heated look from Eric, that Bill was skating on thin ice with the Viking.

"Would you like me to walk you out?" Bill said, averting his look from Eric to me again.

"Thanks, but I'm perfectly capable Bill."

"Yes, she is capable," Eric said glancing at Bill crossly again. "But perhaps the wrong person asked her."

"Sookie," Eric said holding his hand out for me to take it. Seriously? Ughhh…This battle had to end.

"Look, I don't need help from either if you, understand?" I said, my tone heated. "Good night!" I spun around and proceeded for the door. But Eric and Bill were both in front of me with vampire speed before I knew it.

"What!?" I said, yelling it this time. They were really, really starting to piss me off, as if I wasn't already. I stared at them both incredulously, and finally I supposed, my look of fury seemed to give them enough of a warning that I was in no mood to be trifled with further. I pushed through them both, flung open the door, and marched out of there, never looking back.

They were smart enough not to follow me.

I was so annoyed by how the night at Fangtasia had gone, that I just wanted to go home, unplug my phone, bolt my door shut and or pick my house up and have it relocated to Yemen…or Egypt, whichever was further.

I guessed I lost track of how fast I was driving as I continued to smolder under my own anger and annoyance, until I saw the police lights in my rearview mirror.

Oh perfect!

I half thought of stepping on the pedal harder, a high speed chase would definitely lead to an arrest, which would put me in a jail cell, which might actually lead to me being cut off from the supe men who were currently making my life a living hell. Of course, Sookie Stackhouse was far too law abiding for that little fantasy, and I damn well knew it. Hell, I was surprised at myself for breaking the speed law. So of course, I pulled over.

As I sat in my car waiting for the officer to approach, I was given a long minute to consider how it was I even came to be sitting there in the first place, waiting for an inevitable speeding ticket. Damn Eric. I should make him pay the ticket. Call it work related damages, after all, he insisted I come to the bar. He insisted I wear this damn dress. He insisted I witness Jasper's punishment. Urgg, I let out a sigh of extreme frustration.

Who was I mad at anyway? I was just as upset if not more so with Bill. How dare he pull one over on Eric and I only to turn around and make it seem like he should be upset with us. With me, I suppose for having a shred of feeling for Eric, or for wearing the dress Eric bought me. And what the hell was taking this cop so long to write my ticket?

"Evening miss," said a portly man with a rich Southern drawl, a moment later. "In a hurry tonight I see. Do you know how fast you were going?"

"Yes officer, I'm sorry, I just sort of lost track of my thoughts and didn't realize I was speeding I guess."

"Well, I clocked you going 88, in a 70, but…you look like a nice young woman, and seeing as how you don't have any tickets, accidents or warrants on your record, I'm knocking it down to 75. If you go to traffic school, it won't stay on your record, and your insurance shouldn't go up."

Well, a warning would have been better, but I figured I still got off easy. "Okay, thank you." I guess. I just wanted to call it a night. This certainly was the icing on the cake of a splendid evening.

"Hang tight, I'll be back in a minute," he said, before walking back to his cruiser…at a snails pace.

When he returned about five minutes later to hand me my ticket, I had had even more time to think, and ultimately came to the conclusion that thinking was probably the last thing I needed to be doing any more of tonight. I accepted my ticket, and bid the officer a (sarcastically) pleasant evening.

I was at least grateful it was only a quarter to 11 p.m. when I got home, so I figured I might actually get a decent amount of sleep tonight.

Oh how wrong I could be when I started thinking wishfully.

When I walked in the door, Bill was sitting on my couch, like he owned the place. I wasn't even sure how Bill was able to get out of Fangtasia without Eric stopping him; I figured if Eric knew he had left, he'd assume he was headed to my house. It was conveniently located on Bill's way home after all.

"Oh God, Bill, why are you here? Why can't you guys just leave me be?" I said, now realizing most of my previous anger had seemingly morphed into fatigue. I truly had no fighting words left in me tonight.

"Sookie, I just couldn't let you go, not like you were leaving things," he said, as he rose from the couch and stepped in front of me before grabbing my hand and leading me toward the couch to sit. I let him, simply because I didn't know what else to do.

"You walked away from me; you didn't let us finish our conversation. What are we doing Sookie?"

"I don't know Bill, I really don't," I said, rubbing both my hands over my face, my suddenly raspy voice showing my lethargy. And it was the understatement of the century. I really didn't know what we were doing. I didn't know what I was doing. I was once again upset with Bill…but why? Why exactly was I always so upset with him?

I felt like someone had turned the clock back and Bill and I were having the same conversation we had the night he asked me to stop "seeing" Eric.

The fact that Bill was my first real boyfriend meant that my relationship experience was minimal. But I had started to realize that while Bill had definitely done some things over the course of our relationship that led to my anger, there comes a point in any relationship, whether it be with a friend, a family member, or a lover, that you have to look in a mirror and ask yourself, 'Am I part of the problem?'. When I really thought about that, I mean really thought about it…I knew the answer to my own question.

Bill was looking at me fixedly for a response. "Bill, why do we do this to each other?"

"We?" he asked, looking puzzled. "So, you don't blame me solely for this particular incident?"

I paused, considering his statement. "No…I don't think I blame either of us," I said, pausing for another moment, which he seemed to know I needed, and remained silent. "I guess I've realized that everything isn't always your fault. It's just that, sometimes it's hard for me to listen to your reasons for things Bill. It's hard for me to understand and accept the way you do certain things because you are…well, because you're not human."

"I never thought getting into a relationship with a human would be easy Sookie. But you are so different, so wonderful in so many ways. I know I anger you, I know…I'm not always forthcoming with everything, but I am trying."

He looked down at his hands which were clasped tensely in his lap. His bottom lip was doing that quivering thing when he wants to say something but the words seem to be lost on him. It was a look that melted me; especially when he followed it by staring at me with his ridiculously blue eyes. Which he did.

That was it. Anything my brain was telling me up to that point was now combating my desire to make love to Bill. Maybe our issues still weren't resolved; probably, they never would be. But right now I just wanted him to take me. I just wanted to feel him inside of me.

He seemed to know exactly what I wanted too.

"Sookie," he said, his voice so cool, and several octaves lower than it had been the last time he spoke. If I couldn't tell by his suddenly ragged voice, I'd have seen it all in his eyes.

We stared at each other for one long moment before he all but attacked me. Bill's lips found mine with sudden, relentless passion. He instantly wrapped both of his arms around me, drawing me so close, and tight, I thought he was trying to crawl inside of me.

"I want you," was all he said in a low growl, before he moved one hand to the back of my head, keeping me in his kiss, and then lifted my dress up with his free hand, before running it back down the length of my stomach slowly, and finally finding my center, which was already wet. He reached his hand inside my panties, garnering from me both a shudder and a jerk in response, no doubt furthering his own desire. He spent a moment rubbing softly, almost teasingly, which was almost too much for me to continue breathing.

"Ahh, Bill…please…please…" my words came out muffled by his lips, which were still very much attached to mine.

Finally, he pushed a finger deep inside of me, before adding one more, all the while working my tender core with another, while he ground the growing erection in his pants into my thigh, with dire need.

Before I knew it, my eyes were rolling back in my head, and I was close to convulsing underneath Bill's touch. One second I was in utter bliss, and the next, as I closed my eyes, I was no longer seeing Bill's face.

I saw Jasper.

Jasper, that no good, albeit gorgeous ex-vampire king, who had very recently haunted my dreams with pleasure, and claimed our reuniting would happen soon, was in my head once again.

I jerked my eyes open and all but stopped breathing.

"What's wrong?" Bill asked, pulling his hand out from my underwear.

Oh Lord, I legitimately believed now that I was going insane.

"Oh, my…God," I said, out of breath, and in a state of sudden shock. But I didn't know what I could possibly say next that would make any sense, and I was moderately sure the truth would cause much damage.

"Sookie, what's wrong?" Bill said as he grasped my face with his hands for me to look at him, but I couldn't speak yet. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you…talk to me…Sookie!"

"Uh…umm…I'm fine…I, we…Bill I have to stop…I'm sorry," I pushed him away firmly but gently enough to not seem like I was repulsed by him, because that certainly wasn't the problem. I just needed to clear my head…if that was possible.

"I don't understand, what happened?"

"I don't know Bill…I just, I think I need to be alone for a while."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, please, Bill…can you just, let me be alone…I'm sorry. I am."

I never thought a vampire could look so hurt, but he was. I could absolutely tell that he was. And again, I was sorry. But I just didn't know what else to say or do. I obviously couldn't tell him what was wrong. God, I was forever not knowing what to do, and that was getting to be a stubbornly old part of my life.

"Alright," he said, getting off the couch and walking to the door, where he paused and turned to look at me. "You know Sookie, I just don't get you."

There was nothing to say to that. Truth was I often found it hard to get myself.

"I'm sorry—"

"You said that," he opened the door, and left.

Hurting Bill wasn't what I wanted to do. But what could I have done? Continue on, and see Jasper's face as I made love to Bill? I just couldn't have done that.

Hoping Bill would get over this incident, somehow, I knew what I had to do. I had to see Jasper again, and find out what he was doing to me. Why and how he was in my head? This had to stop. It absolutely had to. I just needed to figure out how I'd manage seeing him without Eric or Pam finding out.

I do not claim any right to Charlaine Harris's brilliant characters; I am only using them for the pure fun in writing on this fan fiction page. I intend to gain nothing but the pleasure of writing using the wonderfully talented Ms. Harris's Characters. I am simply trying to pass the time while I anxiously await Ms. Harris's next Sookie Stackhouse novel.