A/N: Hey everyone! Happy tuesday! Here's a chapter for you. I was actually pretty impressed with myself, writing the first half of it on my notes app of my iphone since I've been basically living at work lately. Givin' myself a pat on the back for that.

Two quick notes. Movie trailer you should all watch, entirely worth two minutes of your time: The Little Prince (2015) animated.It looks amazing I am so excited.

Second, even if you're not into graphic novels you should undoubtedly read Strangers in Paradise by Terry Moore because the plot is so depth with still maintaining tons of humor and its really well done. Plus lesbian longings, come on...

That's all, review and tell me what you think! Thank you endlessly for staying with me this long guys, I'm so grateful to you all for the support! We run into an old favorite in this chapter and next chapter, tensions start to rise...

When Words Fail

Ch 21

Emily POV

"Naoms...breathe. It's gonna be okay, just relax," I told her, rubbing slow circles across her back, "I've got you, I'm here...it's alright...just breathe Nai." The poor girl had been sobbing a storm out of her system and when I wasn't hurting for her, I was wondering how it was that she could possibly hold so much grief in for so long. It shouldn't have been possible, but Naomi was living proof that anyone can be burning inside. I was dying to ask her (with an undeniable ounce of fear) who was at fault. Was it her own harbored resentment for past mistakes? Was it my fault to have triggered the urges in the first place? God I hoped not, I felt myself pale, I don't think I could stand being the cause of this much misery. Of course the guilt in me won out, and I pressed her tucked in face closer to my chest, fragile but sure.

She didn't hesitate in drawing her arms up and around my waist, so tightly that she must have thought I would disappear if I hadn't held on to her, but it wasn't needed because I couldn't leave her if I tried. I started to soothe her with kisses on her hair but it only made her more distraught, pulling guttural shudders out and leaving me helpless and clenching my lungs—only able to hold her through her breaking point and hope that I could survive the shame if it really was me who put her through this.

"Shhh Naoms, I've got you. We'll get through this okay."

…...

A few long minutes later, (maybe even half an hour, I coudn't be sure) she finally cried herself dry, and had collapsed into an exhausted state around me. I could feel her hot, slow breaths warming my neck and it gave me chills. Trying to draw the covers above our mingled form without blatantly letting her go proved to be too much so I lay there holding her instead. It wasn't like I was opposed to the position but after a while I started to shiver from the windows breeze. I cursed myself for making the beautiful girl stir conscious.

"Hey, I didn't mean to wake you," I whispered, finally grabbing ahold of the sheet corner and tugging it up around us, "go back to sleep, it's early yet."

"Wha'bout th'walk?" she murmured sleepily. I smiled when I heard her question but also felt her begin to snuggle closer to me comfortably. She was burnt out and unlikely to change anytime soon.

"We have time. And I'm not going anywhere." One hot sigh into my collar and my blonde was gone.

…...

When I awoke for the last time a while later, I could feel the heat of the sun on my face through my window. The clouds had at last burned off and it really was turning out to be a lovely day. I nudged Naomi in her hair, gently bringing her back to me, and felt another one of her stretches leaving me stunned. No doubt she felt the warmth too when a noise of appreciation slipped out. She had been right (as per usual) in that it really was too nice of a day to stay in.

"You ready for that walk yet Naoms?" She gave a nod into my shoulder.

"Can we stop by mine first? I need to pick up some reasonable clothes. This is a bit...relaxed."

"I like relaxed," I blurted out without thinking. We both paused a moment (me in obvious embarrassment) before she buried her face in my hair again and smiled against my neck.

"I'll have to remember that then," she whispered against my ear when she lifted up, and I swear my heart tripled its beat in no time at all. It sent a pulse through me that left me tense as it settled between my legs. Jesus fuck. She knew what she was doing too when she let out a chuckle and pulled up suddenly, leaving me to momentarily panic from her immediate absence. Old habits die hard I suppose as I latched onto her arm slipping away from me.

"Wait—I just need to...let me...just...trust me," I spewed out as I stepped to the ground and stood up, pulling her arm to turn to me, "I just need...to—to see..." I knew it might have been an extremely unpredictable notion but I slipped a finger from her arm to touch her hip. She quivered and tensed, but didn't move when—one by one—my hand lay on her side. She had stopped breathing, I could feel it. The easy sounds had quickly evaporated to a loud silence. "Please just...trust me Nai..." I whispered and I felt her inhale a shaky sigh. Throwing caution to the wind, I let my fingers glide in and spread out against her skin, trying to feel what I wish I could see.

She exhaled sharply at first touch, a shudder, but allowed me the same exploration as her ridged back. It was terrifyingly similar as I smoothed my fingertips over her torso—instead of one large delve, there were too many thin ridges. Like water ripples on her skin—I hated it. I brought my other hand up as well, not even thinking logically anymore as I committed every swell and curve to memory, lingering the most on the dip of her belly-button—tracing it over with my thumb—and then with the stature of her hips. A few long few minutes were spent on (and despising the cause of) her cuts before letting my hands spread around her hips and gripping them. Even I could hear her swallow. One foot—that's all there was between us.

One foot.

I dropped my thumbs lower until they reached the protrusion of her hip bones and her hand flew to grab mine after I ghosted over it softly. She was scarred, but Jesus, she was so soft. So lovely. I could hardly help myself when I tugged her forward, just one step. It was enough—we were almost flush and her hands gripped my bicep.

"Em," she breathed with a hitch, and I felt her breath aside my head. I barely turned my head, just so my face was to her, but it was enough to make her breath shallow, to make her grip tighter. Gently, and so so slowly, I leaned in to press a full warm kiss on her cheek, feeling her jaw pulse as I did so. Her face was so hot under my lips, it was a shame to have to pull away.

I did, finally—not missing the way goosebumps raised under my palms—and leaned into her ear to whisper, "Daylight's burning. It would be a shame to waste it, yeah?" I hesitantly forced myself away from her, slightly nervous when I heard her redress in silence, marginally better when she linked our arms and walked us toward the door. She was still tense and I felt somewhat guilty for that. "Naoms?" I said as the door creaked open.

"Hmm?" she paused us in place.

"Thank you...for...for trusting me...with this," I finished with a nervous swallow. She sighed quietly and my heart nearly stopped when I felt her lips pressed into the crevice of my neck, threading our fingers together as she pulled me out of the door.

…...

"Oh god, it's beautiful out here," she breathed deeply closing the front door with a click. She wasn't wrong, it was amazing to feel actual breeze after so many days inside, and I had to smile at the daffodil scent coming from around the corner. Entirely refreshing. I hummed back, agreeing, but also couldn't ignore that rapid increase my nerves had been fried with. I was absolutely terrified honestly. If it was just laying in the grass, that might have been okay, but she wanted to go on a walk. Actually go somewhere—and I would be walking blind. I could probably make it to the end of the block before I would have no idea where anything under my feet was. Fuck.

I panicked and in haste, blurted out, "Maybe we should just stay here. We don't have to—to go anywhere..." She was silent for a long second before turning around to face me, her hand twisting to curl tightly to mine.

"Emily..." she said softly, "Are you scared?" I looked down out of shy habit and she grabbed my other hand, holding them both carefully. "I'm not gonna let go. I promise you I won't, you just need to put some faith in me Em. Please," and with that she began to pull me forward. "Step down...there," as we got off the front steps, "Just hold on and take one step at a time."

I held on to her for dear life.

…...

She was right again of course, there was no reason to be scared with her there.

We had fallen into a steady rhythm of a casual walk where my hands wrapped firmly on her upper arm and she wound her arm close to her body so we were almost woven together. Naomi was precise and absolutely patient with care. She told me we were walking by the side of the road instead of the side pavement because it was so litered with bumps and cracks that I would have been done for. It was fine, better actually, because there was surprisingly little traffic going around—it was peaceful and quiet.

I tried my hardest not to focus on the sights I wish I could have seen, tried to not let it get me down by thinking instead about how good the sun felt on my skin. The fresh breeze. The outer city sounds. And of course, the unending tenderness she gave me—soft protection.

"Going left," she said, and I followed her into the turn. Being so close, she didn't really need to tell me directions, but she did anyway out of respect, to give me a heads up for what was going on in the surroundings. She gave me the entitled respect that sense-depraved people were so often overlooked of and I was grateful. Of course, leave it to Naomi to be so lovely—I think I fell a little harder for her at just those two words.

"My place is right up here, four houses down," she said again. We walked quietly but it was a comfortable silence, there was no pressing need to fill the void. We knew each other long enough to know just when to enjoy being around the other. I was becoming slightly weary, the concept of blind flying taking more of a toll than I expected, but she wasn't bothered. She slowed our pace to a casual stroll, clearly for my comfort, and I fought back a visible smile. So fucking lovely. It was impulsive to lay my head on her shoulder, just for a moment. She slowed carefully to a stop.

"Right here," she said turning us to the left. "Careful of the curb," she said as she let my hands go and wrapped an arm around my waist, tugging me up so I wouldn't trip. My chest clenched at the action and her touch. I made to grab for her hand again but she pushed my arm down and held it there—I was confused.

"Look Em, maybe you should just...wait out here. Okay?" she told me.

"But, I-I don't...understand. What, like right here?" I questioned.

"Yeah, I'll be right out but just, like, don't talk to anyone. Or go anywhere if someone comes out. I'll just be a moment."

"But why can't I come in the-"

"I said no, alright?" she told me annoyed. It wasn't that bad but it was Naomi. And that was enough to make me shrink back into my shell and tuck my head down, pulling my arms away from her and crossing them tightly across my chest. She sighed and tried to put a hand on my arm but it only made my lip quiver as I pushed away. I wasn't used to how quickly she could flip on the dime, and...it hurt. And it was Naomi, so it hurt more.

"I...I'll be back in a few minutes, sorry," she said dejected. I didn't understand how I could hurt for her, hearing the sadness in her voice, and because of her. Whatever the complicated reason, she was already gone before I could hope to ask.

I stood there, not moving an inch or letting my arms loosen, trying to decipher what was going on in her head. Not just with this, but everything lately. She was strung up but also persistent in righting the wrongs that happened. But then she would also put herself down for it as I saw this morning. And finally when things actually were okay, some snag would shut her down instantly from the amazing girl I knew she could be.

What happened all that time ago, Naoms? What happened to you?

I heard the patter of steps on the driveway and before I could open my mouth, two arms dug down under my own to wrap around my back fiercely and buried a face into my neck.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry Em, I'm so sorry," she hushed over and over again into my hair holding me to her tightly, "I didn't mean to snap I really didn't and if you really want, you can come inside, it's okay, please just don't do that, don't shut me out again, don't cut me o-"

"Naomi," I breathed, still trying to get past the shock of surprise. "It's alright. It's fine," I told her, hugging her back, "you have your reasons for these things. But take a breath before you pass out," I laughed, reaching up to hold her face. "I trust you, if it's not okay yet, it's for a good reason."

"No that's not...it's not that," she said heavily and I felt her cheek press against my palm. I stroked my thumb there. "I-I was...I'm," she sighed deeply, "Fuck...I'm ashamed Emily..." I paused but didn't move away, trying to fight the massive feeling of sinking weighing down my gut.

"You...you're ashamed of me," I stated numbly. My chest begin to tighten and all of a sudden I couldn't feel my arms that were around her neck.

"No!" she shouted, "No, not at all! Never of you Emily," and the constrictions began to loosen when I felt her lips on my cheeks, taking away something wet I didn't realize were tears I had shed. She peppered soft kisses all over my cheeks before kissing my forehead once, with so much passion, my fingers had to grip on her neck, to keep from quaking. She rested her forehead against mine, her breathing just as bad as mine. "I could never be ashamed of you, Emily Fitch," she whispered, and a small smile played on my lips.

"What is it then? That's got you so put down?" I asked her, playing with the wisps of hair on the nape of her neck.

"I..." she gulped and took a sharp breath, "I'm ashamed of myself." I waited for her to go on, knowing this was a time she only needed me to listen. "I feel...fucking terrible about everything. Everything from last year. Everything that happened to you now," she said as she pushed her forehead slightly against mine. I couldn't stop the grip of her neck that came with the hitch in my breath. "My mum doesn't even know about lately, that we...you were in the hospital. All she knows is that we haven't talked since last year and that it was my fault," her voice started to break, "and if I were to bring you back now, blind and because of me, I don't...I don't think," she had to pause to swallow the cry trying to break out, "I couldn't stand the way she would look at me, so disappointed. I already know it was horrible, it's so horrible, because really I woul-" she choked on her words, finally letting the sob get the best of her and I pulled her down to me, finding her face with my thumbs and gently kissing away the moisture I found running underneath them, just as she had for me.

"Naoms, she would be proud of you," I told her quietly, feeling her head shake under my hands, "yes, yes she would. Look how far we've come. One month ago, this would have seemed like a faraway dream, but it's not. You came back to me. You did Naomi. You came back," I said with a slow kiss to her cheek, "you made us friends again," another kiss on the other side, "you saved me that night," a kiss on the tip of her nose, "you're saving us now..." I said quietly and drifted off, my heart suddenly pounding and I felt the muscles behind her neck tense as she moved toward me, all sadness gone. My chest tightened and when I felt her warm breath upon my lips, I buried my hands in her hair to reach up to her. Yes. A thousand times, yes.

"OI!" a sharp voice yelled out and we ripped apart like fire, making me nearly lose my balance if Naomi hadn't caught my hand. I was both completely startled and frustrated, I was so close to her, just more inch.

I found my annoyance disappearing though when Naomi laughed happily as she squeezed my hand, leaning in quickly to whisper, "You're in for it now," and she let me go. I didn't even have time to panic before a loud holler came bulleting toward me and I was captured in a tight inescapable hug that made my feet leave the ground as I was twirled around.

"RED AHHHH so fuckin' good to see you babes! Look at ya, up and about!" He roared with such enthusiasm, I found it hard to contain my smile as I giggled and hugged him back.

"It's nice to hear from you too Cook, I've missed the lot of you," I told him, beaming. He dropped me down with a plop and my eyes widened when my balance went askew, but Naoms was there—always by my side—to wrap an arm around my waist and set me upright again.

"Who's your young gent, Cookie?" she asked while she did so.

"Ah this lil' scruff? One a me own," he said with obvious pride in his voice, "Where'd he go anyway?" It was quiet for a beat, "OI! Stop stealin' the ol' guys porn! We got ya plenty of that back home yeah? Git the fuck ova'ere."

"The kid's gotta be less than ten," Naomi whispered in my ear, trying not to laugh, and I bit my lip to do the same. Jesus Christ... only with Cook.

"Blondie, Red, this here's Paddy," Cook introduced dramatically.

"Ow! Gerrof me!" a high whine came and I smirked.

"Quite the charmer ladies, can I interest ya? Or would ya like some time with the other little Cookie?" My smirk was wiped with a grimace and I felt Naomi's arm tighten around my waist.

"Oh fuck off James, don't be a wanker," she gritted out.

"Naomi!" I scolded, my inbred manners surfacing.

"What?"

"In front of the boy? Really?" She let out a laugh that was so lovely and beautiful that I had to work way too hard in order to keep my resolve intact..

"Em, think about it. He's Cook's brother. James Cook: wild child extraordinaire. I think language is the least of his problems."

"You know I can fucking hear you right? I ain't fuckin' deaf or nothin'," Paddy said angrily and I heard a loud thwap, followed by said boy's "OW. Stop hittin' me Cook!"

"Then stop bein' a tosser. Go on, say 'ello," Cook warned him with a surprising amount of responsible control. Some steps sounded out and I heard Naomi first, making me smile undeniably every time.

"Alright Paddy? Nice shirt. Hope you're keeping your brother out of trouble yeah?" He giggled.

"Sumfin like that," he drew out, "you got some baggy eyes, ya know that?" A muscle twitched on the arm around my waist and I crossed my arms non-nonchalantly so I could grab her hand and give it a squeeze. Ignore him, it's fine.

She sighed deeply saying, "Didn't get much sleep in the night, nothing another bed rest can't fix," and she squeezed back, making my heart skip a beat. Another night wrapped up in her? God yes. Please, yes.

"I like ya red hair, it's pretty sexy," Paddy said now, apparently to me. Naomi's entire body went taut as she exhaled loudly, and I couldn't help my proud smile from breaking out.

"Thank you, get your charms from your brother don't you?" I said putting out my hand, and feeling a small palm grasp and shake it.

"Think ya mean he gets it from me," he told me smartly. He paused before asking, "Wha's wrong with ya face? Your eyes flyin' everywhere. Ya mental or sumfin?"

"Watch it!" Naomi snapped fiercely, pulling me backwards as if he tried to injure me, and Cook had apparently hit him again if Paddy's whining was anything to go by.

"Tell her you're sorry," Cook said in a threatening voice I had never heard from him before.

"But you told me to never to say sorry!"

"Well I'm fuckin' sayin' it now, aren' I? Tell 'er," he growled out.

"Alrigh' alrigh' I'm sorry!" I tried to walk forward on my own toward them but Naomi kept her arm around my waist and let out a conflicted whimper, unsure to let me go of me. I didn't let her think about it as I took her arm off me, and wove our fingers together, pulling us both forward. "Why they so snappy for, Red?" I grinned at him as I bent down slightly, resting on the ball of my feet.

"Well Paddy, I got into an accident a while ago and I lost my sight for a little bit. It will come back, but things are a bit tricky right now ya know?"

"So you like a short-term cripple then?"

"I wouldn't say cripple," I reasoned.

"I would," he stated and I could nearly feel Naomi tighten in the space next to me. I paused for a second to try and relate it to the boy.

"You ever watch a scary movie with your brother?" I waited for an answer.

"She can't see you nodding, shrimp," Naomi told him, peeved.

"Naoms..."

"Whatever," she dismissed. I heard Cook chuckle above me.

"Were you scared of the dark for a bit after watching them?"

"Yeahhhh," he slowly confessed.

"Well I used to be afraid of the dark, and then I had something really scary acutally happen to me. It was terrifying and what was really really scary was that it was always dark. 24 hours a day, every day, completely in blackness. But you know what? After a few days, I realize that you don't need the lights on or the sun out to feel safe again," I said standing up again, and felt Naomi drift loyally to my side, sweet as ever. My message had been received loud and clear. "And more so, I can hear better, I can feel more, everything else has become more aware. So when I can see again, I'll be able better off than all of you," I stated smugly, feeling the natural instinct to grab the beautiful blonde's hand.

"That's..." Paddy started, "...that's kinda AWESOME! You be like batwoman or sumfin! Tha's so badass, ain't it Cook?!" he yelled and I beamed. Cook belly laughed at him.

"Sure is kid, Red's always been a special one, right princess?" I was about to answer when Naomi interrupted.

"Yes Cook. That is very, very right," she said with something—almost pride?—in her voice.

"Whoa Cook! Look ova there, look a' that car! Come on, les'go have a look!" Paddy exclaimed, voice fading off as he ran down the street, Cook running after him cursing.

"I didn't know you were afraid of the dark?" Naomi said quietly, almost guiltily. I turned to her felt up her arm—apparently in a loose fitting tee—and put a hand around her neck, feeling warm skin and silky hair.

"Naturally yes, but it was a fear gone to waste really," I told her.

"Why was that?"

"Because I spent so many nights with you," I hushed and stood on my toes to place a sweet kiss in the dip of her neck, absolutely adoring the way she sighed above me.

"So," I pulled away and smiled, "where to now?"