Windlegs sat outside the warriors' den staring up at the stars. The slightly smaller moon still lit up her fur and made her seem to light the ground around her. The stars reflected in her soft blue eyes. It was cold, but she felt somehow distant from it. She gazed at the stars without seeing them. Her dream had forced her awake and she found if she closed her eyes she would see the kit again, screaming as he fell into the abyss to return a monster. But even now, as she held her eyes wide, she could see him, begging, pleading for her to save him from his fate. But she hadn't, and she hadn't gone to him when he came back either. She tried to justify the act by telling herself it was because he was already gone, but beneath the weak covering, the truth tried to shine through despite her attempts to snuff it out.
"What are you doing awake so late?"
Windlegs nearly sprang out of her fur as a voice spoke beside her. She looked down to discover ice staring back at her, unfazed by her reaction. "Darkpaw, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" she hissed so as not to wake the sleeping warriors. "What are you even doing awake?"
"I have training tonight. Mudriver should be coming to wake me any minute to take me out, but I couldn't sleep," the tabby explained, his gaze never left hers.
Windlegs was forced to turn away. She could not hold the look any longer. Those eyes, so dark and cold, just like the monster in her dream. But Darkpaw wasn't that monster, he couldn't be. He was different, maybe, but not monstrous like the others said. Still, she couldn't bear those eyes, not when they glowed so unnaturally, even for a cat, in the dark, their shade never once changing but to become more brilliant and harsh. "I know what you mean," Windlegs sighed.
"What kept you awake?" Darkpaw asked, unbothered by her turning from him. It was a thing he was used to.
Windlegs glanced at him, but seeing only the falling kit, looked back at the sky. "Bad dream," she said. 'Nice way of putting it,' she thought to herself as the kit's scream rang through her ears again.
"Yeah?" Darkpaw asked, his gaze finally leaving her to join the stars. "I know what you mean."
Windlegs turned to him and opened her mouth to ask him what he dreamt about, but she decided she would rather not know and again stared at the moon.
"We have a lot in common, then, I suppose," Darkpaw said.
"No. We don't really."
Darkpaw looked up at Windlegs, confusion sketched across his face.
"We have very little in common. I might hardly know a thing about you, but I know that much. You've been here a little over six moons now, only recently have I actually carried on a successful conversation with you, and you reveal nothing about yourself if you can help it. And you help it very well. All I know is that you're alone and were…well I've never been alone, I have no idea what its like," Windlegs said. She did not want to admit just how much she knew about his time with Snaketail.
Darkpaw caught the pause and change in her speech, but he said nothing about it. After a pause, he asked her a question she had not expected. "Do you want to know what it's like? To be alone?"
"What?" Windlegs asked.
"I'm fairly certain you heard me. I can show you what it's like to be alone, sort of. Do you want to know?" he repeated.
Windlegs thought about it. She didn't know what Darkpaw might do. She knew being alone must hurt, but if Darkpaw hurt her…the moment that thought crossed her mind, her doubts vanished. Darkpaw would not hurt her. She didn't know how she knew it, but she did. "Show me."
"Follow me."
"But Mudriver…"
"Will still be here when we get back."
"Are you sure?"
"Are you?"
With that, Windlegs followed him to the camp exit and into the dark forest. Darkpaw wound his way expertly through the brush. His night classes had obviously gone well. He seemed to know every stone and plant on the trail and made it easy for Windlegs to follow. The tall grass hid the moon and the scattered pines whispered things Windlegs could not understand. She had very rarely been out of the camp at night alone before, but she wondered how many times Darkpaw had for him to know it so well.
Darkpaw stopped under a tree with a large hollow under the roots. Windlegs didn't know how far from camp they were, but it was defiantly not near.
"Go in."
"What?" The idea seemed preposterous. Why would she do such a thing? But the look in his eyes compelled her to do it. She climbed down into the hollow, followed by him. His body nearly blocked out the light but she could see his outline as he herded her closer to the back. Finally, her back hit the end of the hollow. "Darkpaw what are you doing?" she asked getting uneasy.
"Trust me. Now more than ever, trust me completely that I will not bring harm to you or do anything to compromise your safety."
"O-ok," she said. But her uneasiness grew as he took her front left paw in his mouth and guided it under a smaller root in the ground.
"Can you pull yourself free?" he asked.
"If I try hard enough I could," she said tugging her paw a few times and finding it stuck. Darkpaw then took a thin root from behind her and pulled it over her head and allowed it to rest against her chest. Once he let it go, it snapped against her chest, holding her in place.
"Could you get out of that if you needed to?"
"Well maybe if I had time to think or plan, but Darkpaw what's the point of this? I don't like it."
"Then I'll let you go if you truly want to be."
"I do." Windlegs didn't like this trapped feeling at all. She wanted out.
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"Completely?"
"Yes."
"Do you realize that you'd be nearly helpless if I left you here?"
"Yes."
"Good." Darkpaw turned and walked out of the hollow, leaving Windlegs in her predicament.
"Darkpaw? Darkpaw, what are you doing?!" she shouted, but he didn't turn back. She struggled to pull herself free to follow, but she couldn't. "Darkpaw!" He did not answer and disappeared from view outside. She struggled again but it was in vain. She felt betrayed, confused, uncomfortable, panicked, and, as the silence grew around her, completely alone. "Darkpaw! Don't leave me here!" she cried, but again there came no answer. She became angry, struggling more violently, determined to get Darkpaw for doing this. How could he have betrayed her? Left her helpless like that? But fear began to creep up in her too. What if she couldn't get out? What if something dangerous came along and attacked her? She was alone and helpless like this! She had overestimated her ability to pull herself free and her fear and anger rose along with her confusion. Why would Darkpaw do such a thing?
What felt like hours later, but was actually only a few minutes, a dark figure appeared in the hollow entrance. She saw only an outline, but when the scent reached her nose, she calmed. Darkpaw approached calmly and pulled the root off of her and released her paw.
"What was that about?" she snapped.
"Were you frightened?"
"A little."
"Confused?"
"Yeah."
"Angry?"
"Yes!"
"Did you feel abandoned? Betrayed?"
"Yes!"
"Magnify it tenfold, maybe more. That's what it's like to be alone without knowing why."
Windlegs felt a pit form in her stomach and all her energy seeped into it. "Oh…"
"Feel drained?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Magnify that. Now you know how I feel every day. But do you know the difference?"
"What?"
Darkpaw approached her so he could whisper in her ear. "No one's coming to untie me." Darkpaw turned back in the direction of camp and walked off.
After allowing his words to sink in, she followed, the hole in her stomach becoming deeper. She found herself now longing for sleep no matter what it brought. Darkpaw felt like this every hour of every day and every night for every moon he had been here. How had he survived?
Just before they re-entered the camp, Windlegs got up the courage to speak the question that had been burning in her the entire way. "Darkpaw, hold on."
"What?" The icy eyes turned to her, intimidating and calm.
"Is that…is that really how it feels to be you?"
"No."
Windlegs gave him a look of confusion.
"It hurts a lot more." Darkpaw turned back and walked into the camp.
"Darkpaw! There you are! I've been looking for you, where have you been? I told you that you have training tonight." Mudriver had rarely looked so pissed at Darkpaw and at the same time relieved to see him.
"I was doing something," Darkpaw said with a shrug.
"Yeah well you have responsibilities to…oh hi, Windlegs." Mudriver was now looking past his apprentice to the white she-cat that had just entered the camp. "Whatcha doing out n about at this hour?"
"I was talking to Darkpaw. I saw he couldn't sleep and thought I might talk him into taking a walk with me. Sorry, I guess I lost track of time," Windlegs said.
"Oh, well it's ok I guess, I mean it hasn't been too long. C'mon, Darkpaw," the grey tom said.
Darkpaw nodded and followed his mentor out of the camp again. He glanced back at Windlegs but she was already going into the warriors' den.
"So what were you doing with Windlegs?" Mudriver asked.
"Talking, didn't she just tell you that?"
"What were you talking about?"
"Stuff."
"What kinda stuff?"
"Are we going to get to training or should I sit down in a brightly lit area so you can interrogate me some more?"
"You find a brightly lit spot in the territory and I'll interrogate you. Till then, get ready to run."
Preferring the latter even if he could succeed in the challenge given enough time, Darkpaw fell into step a few paces behind his mentor's bushy tail as Mudriver had already taken off sprinting. Despite how thick his fur made his body look, he was a fast runner. Not as fast as Thundertail, which was revealed every time a gathering came around and Thundertail would need to chase him down for a grooming, but he was fast. Darkpaw slowly gained on the fleeing tail until he practically swiped at it with each step. He sped up until he was at Mudriver's side just behind the older tom's shoulder. He needed to be careful, however, that he didn't get a face-full of silky fur.
"Don't wear yourself out racing me, kit, we'll be out here for a while," Mudriver warned.
"Don't waste your breath lecturing me." With a cocky grin, Darkpaw passed up his mentor. Suddenly, with a shriek he was sure to deny later, he tripped and rolled several tail lengths through rocks and tall grass. He struggled to untangle his limbs from the bush he had landed in, wondering what the hell just happened.
"I'd lecture you again, but you seem a little tied up right now," Mudriver said walking up with a smirk.
"What happened?" Darkpaw asked yanking himself free and pulling thorns from his thankfully thick fur.
"You were so caught up in your own pride, you forgot about the terrain and the fact someone was behind you. It made you easy to trip up. Just imagine if you hadn't had the luxury of knowing I was there. I could have been an enemy and the clan would find your stripy ass dead in the morning," Mudriver said, his speech taking on the more official tone he used when Darkpaw had a lesson to learn.
"I didn't realize we were doing that. I thought-"
"No you didn't think. If you'd thought, you'd have never let your guard down," Mudriver said cutting Darkpaw off.
"It won't happen again."
"Bet it does."
"Will not!" Darkpaw protested.
"We'll be running all night and whether I do that again or not is left for you to wonder. Stay in front of me." The last bit sounded like a warning, a warning Darkpaw wasn't going to ignore.
After over two hours of their running, Darkpaw had been tripped again eight times. Once he had gotten his footing again, but that had been dumb luck that, when he tried to recreate it, resulted in him tripping himself right into briars.
"Mudriver, I don't know how to avoid those swipes but to outrun them and that's getting increasingly difficult," Darkpaw panted, pulling himself out of a mud puddle.
"Do you want me to tell you how?"
"Yes." Darkpaw shook drops of mud from his fur. It was freezing and he instinctively pressed against Mudriver for warmth.
"Well I'm not going to. I want you to experiment and try to figure it out," Mudriver said, licking a few of the bigger drops of dirty water from his apprentice's coat. "Dry yourself off, and we'll continue."
"For how long?" Darkpaw didn't want to whine, but he wasn't enjoying this at all. He was tired and, more recently, wet and cold. He wished he had put in more of an effort to sleep when he'd had the chance. He quickly worked to dry his ribcage first, then his legs.
"Until I say we can stop. Plus, you were late, so you've got work to make up."
Darkpaw groaned as he managed to dry his fur and regain some warmth from Mudriver before Mudriver sent him scurrying along again.
As time went on, Darkpaw found exhaustion making it harder and harder for him to think and Mudriver's tricks grew steadily closer together. As the moon crossed overhead then to the other side of the sky, however, something changed. Darkpaw's legs stopped feeling tired, his eyes widened, and his breathing became steadier. He could hear and feel his heart pounding in his chest and Mudriver's fast paces behind him. He focused on the noise behind him, and recognized a change in them. He suddenly ducked to the side and Mudriver crashed to the ground in a heap of long grey fur. Darkpaw jumped back onto the path they had been taking to see his mentor standing back up and grinning back at him.
"Nice," Mudriver praised, "Lost my own focus there for a while. Didn't think you'd ever pull it off. But figuring out how to dodge it is only part one of three."
"What are the others?" Darkpaw asked. He felt full of energy now. His legs trembled as he tried to hold them still. He wanted to run now.
"Be able to dodge it when your opponent doesn't loose their footing, and learn how to counter or block it," Mudriver said.
"Great, let's go!" Darkpaw said.
"Careful, kit, you'll burst your little heart. You're body's running on reserve energy, pure adrenaline is keeping you from falling over right now."
"I like this feeling!" Darkpaw cried jumping into the air and batting at nothing.
"Don't burn up all your energy, you have to be awake enough to train again tomorrow and hunt," Mudriver said.
"I'll be ok. Come on, Mudriver, I have more stuff to figure out! You said it yourself," Darkpaw pleaded.
"Run," Mudriver ordered and Darkpaw shot off, Mudriver right behind him.
Darkpaw kept sprinting for a while, paying attention to the almost silent footfalls of the older tom, but Mudriver didn't do anything. Darkpaw kept running, slowly loosing momentum as his energy reserves protested his long-distance sprint. Just as he thought Mudriver had lost interest in him, he heard the same change in step. He ducked to the side again, but Mudriver hooked his hind leg and sent him spinning to the dirt.
"You reacted too quickly. Don't give your enemy time to change their mind. Be patient, make sure they have only one choice so you can go against it with no troubles," Mudriver scolded.
Darkpaw nodded, his head suddenly felt heavy along with his eyelids. He told himself to get to his paws, but his body had other ideas. The fall to the frozen, hard-packed earth had hurt and catching his breath was simply not happening.
"You burned yourself out, didn't you?" Mudriver sighed.
Darkpaw nodded again. His chin hurt when it collided with the ground.
"Get up, your limbs will start to hurt if you stay down there," Mudriver said.
Darkpaw groaned, but didn't do as he was told. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to walk again.
"Darkpaw! After that work out, your muscles won't want to suddenly quit. They'll cramp up and I'm not carrying you back to camp," Mudriver hissed.
Darkpaw wanted to move, he really did, but the ground was suddenly so inviting. He just wanted to sleep. The sun was beginning to peak over the horizon. His breath came back, but his chest tightened and pain flooded into it. His legs felt like they were being crushed. He opened his mouth and eyes wide, letting out a small cry.
Mudriver grabbed the tabby's scruff and yanked him to his paws and forced him to begin walking. "I told you!" he scolded.
Darkpaw didn't say anything as he limped along, pain stabbing at his limbs. Walking was more difficult than it should have been and he knew he wouldn't be able to run. He just wished he hadn't crashed and burned so far from camp.
"That's what you get for being an idiot. Now go to sleep," Mudriver said when they got back to camp, nudging his apprentice in the direction of the den.
Darkpaw didn't feel like arguing and did as he was told with no question or complaint. As he collapsed into his nest, he could feel his legs throbbing in time with his heartbeat. He groaned and rolled over, falling asleep without regrets.
_
Darkpaw awoke to discover he was looking down a dark tunnel to a bright light. When his eyes adjusted he realized he was looking out into the camp and it must be midday by now. He struggled to get up but his muscles had their own ideas. A few minutes later, Mudriver poked his head into the den.
"Good you're awake. Come with me," Mudriver said.
Darkpaw again tried to force his paws under him and, after great effort, succeeded in limping out to his mentor. Mudriver led his apprentice to Littlecloud's den and said medicine cat seemed to have been expecting them.
"Rough night?" Littlecloud asked noting Darkpaw's haggard exterior.
Darkpaw grunted a response and Littlecloud laughed.
"Come over here, I'll see what I can do about that."
Darkpaw did as he was told, laying on a very soft mat of moss Littlecloud must have laid down earlier. Littlecloud gently rolled him onto his right side and began gently rubbing his front paws along Darkpaw's sore legs and shoulders. Darkpaw was nearly asleep again when Littlecloud had him roll onto his other side to repeat the process to his other legs. Afterwards, Littlecloud told him to eat a few herbs that Darkpaw had little interest in knowing the name of and he soon fell asleep again.
When Darkpaw woke up again, he felt a thousand times better. His muscles no longer ached and he felt wide awake.
"You can go now, if you're up to it," Littlecloud said from the other side of the den though it hadn't appeared he had been looking at Darkpaw.
"Thanks, Littlecloud," Darkpaw said. He stretched and padded out of the den.
"Don't work too hard for a couple of days," Littlecloud called after him.
Darkpaw only half-heard him. He was busy looking at one of the warriors. They didn't look well and were coughing. Darkpaw closed his eyes and sniffed. In the cat's chest region up to their nose, something was off in the coloring of their life signature. It gave a glowing whitish hue to that part of their body. They were ill, but he didn't know what it was.
Littlecloud must have heard the coughing because he was suddenly out of his den and walking towards the coughing warrior. They exchanged a few words before Littlecloud ushered the she-cat into his den.
Darkpaw was confused, but he did not want to go near the infected cat to ask Littlecloud about it. Deciding to just hunt and ask Runningnose about it later, he walked out of the camp.
Something began nagging at him as he walked through the cool shade of grass and trees. As he tried to focus on it, T.J. suddenly came to his mind and he remembered his plan to meet with the tom today. He looked up at the sky and realized the sun would be setting soon.
"Shit!" he shouted and took off running to the edge of the territory, forgetting Littlecloud's warning to not over-work himself.
Of course T.J. wasn't there when he reached the two-leg nest, but he had an idea of where to look for him. Unfortunately, his first thought to look in the shed proved wrong. Darkpaw followed his second guess and went into the section of forest that held the fights. Sure enough, he saw the family of four carrying sticks that had been lit on fire to the different circles of rocks to light the kindling there and clearing out the circle, scratching away the blood-soaked sand.
"T.J.!" Darkpaw called and the young black tom looked up.
"Darkpaw! There you are!" T.J. said running up the slope to the tabby.
"I'm sorry I was late. I got…caught up," Darkpaw said, "What did you need to talk to me about?"
"Oh, come with me, I'll tell you. Mother I'll be back," T.J. called. Lynn nodded and T.J. brought Darkpaw back to the shed. "Well as I'm sure you remember, you lost your fight with Magi."
Darkpaw nodded grudgingly at the reminder. "So?"
"So, you agreed to become an apprentice. That means you take the punishments like any other apprentice would for loosing a fight. Do you remember when Ginger lost?"
"Yes. So I need to fight a dog?"
"No. Well, not necessarily. You can choose to face a dog, do a rematch to the death with the cat you lost against, or try your luck in The Run." T.J.'s voice had taken on a grave tone as he spoke.
Darkpaw was getting really sick of running. "So I could do what Ginger did, try to kill Magi or get killed myself, or…what's 'The Run'?"
"My personal favorite. Every apprentice or waiting apprentice, meaning Ginger, Crys, Tears, and Dusk, and an equal number of grown cats of your enemy's, in this case meaning Magi's, choosing will be sent to chase after you into the woods. You must survive one hour. You can kill them if you like but you cannot return to the ring until the hour is up and they will continue coming after you until you reach the center. Also, any cat that wishes to watch may do so and provide help to the 'runners' of your whereabouts," T.J. explained.
Darkpaw thought about this and, while it sounded incredibly exciting, it was possibly the most deadly choice given the odds. Instead of going up against an easily frightened puppy or facing one cat, he would be facing eight cats all intent on killing him with places to hide and stalk up on him with help provided by outside sources. Darkpaw debated each option. "How long to I have to think this over?"
"You must tell Lynn or Shadow your choice the night before," T.J. said, "But I advise you not to be too long, the ringfighters are not patient and may see you as a coward if you don't return quickly. You came on the full moon so you must come back before then."
"By the night before the new moon, I'll have decided," Darkpaw promised.
"Good. Now unless you wish to participate in the fights tonight, you should go," T.J. advised.
Darkpaw nodded and left the shed, going back into the forest. He knew he defiantly shouldn't run again, but he needed to move quickly so that he could hunt and take care of Runningnose before the sun set. He hunted like mad until he had a few good pieces of prey and made his way quickly but carefully back to camp.
"Looks like it's finally begun," Runningnose said as Darkpaw began working to clean the elders' den.
"What's begun?" he asked, arranging some new bedding.
"Cats have begun getting sick. White cough has started up. Soon there'll be green cough. You be careful, ok?" Runningnose said.
"What's white cough?" Darkpaw asked remembering the strange signature he had seen earlier.
"Just a mild infection cats get as it starts getting colder. Green cough is the killer though."
"Oh," Darkpaw said, glad he hadn't gone near the sick warrior.
"You're young and strong though, you should be fine and Littlecloud is smart, he'll get you through it if you do get sick. It's lucky we now know a very good treatment for green cough that Littlecloud got from ThunderClan." Runningnose suddenly seemed like he was looking very far away and a small smile crept onto his face.
"He got it from ThunderClan?" Darkpaw asked.
"He snuck over the border to ask for help after part of ShadowClan was getting wiped out due to the severity of it. Thankfully he was given help and saved the clan," Runningnose explained. He didn't see the entire point of going into great detail when Darkpaw wouldn't know any of the other cats that played a part.
"But if you get sick, what would happen to you?"
"I'm so old by now, I'd probably die. But it's alright, I'm not doing much now anyway," Runningnose laughed.
Darkpaw admired how calm the elder was about the idea of his death. Darkpaw didn't want to die, he was unsure of where exactly he would go. If StarClan were anything like ShadowClan, he'd be in the shadow forest for sure.
_
For three days after his all night run, Darkpaw was not permitted by Mudriver to do any sort of physical training. However, the tom did not allow his apprentice to go without training. They spent the nights working on Darkpaw's mental strengths.
"You have to be able to keep your head no matter what. If you loose it in a battle or during a chase, you'll be killed. Never stop thinking," Mudriver had told him several times.
Darkpaw would close his eyes and, without using his gift, need to pinpoint where Mudriver was and what sort of attack he would be launching and tell how he would counter it. Mudriver would run him through all sorts of scenarios that Darkpaw would need to figure out the best course of action to take to get out of it and win.
"If you sense three enemy cats surrounding you, what would you do?" Mudriver asked.
"I'd continue walking, trying to ensure I was near enough to camp to call for help if I needed to but far enough to not lead them in," Darkpaw said.
"Do you let them know you're onto them?"
"No, I wait for them to make the first move but never stop paying attention to where they are at all times."
"And?"
"And I listen in case anymore enemies join them."
"If you know you will be badly outnumbered no matter what you do, then what?"
"Take off running in the direction of, but not directly to, camp sounding an alarm."
"And if they attack you and try to silence you?"
"Never quit fighting even if it ends in my death but do not, under any circumstances, lead them into camp or try to make a deal."
"Good. Now, if you find them first?"
"If it is more than I can handle I should follow them for a short way to see if I can understand their motives. I must always keep aware to ensure I am not seen. Then, go back to camp as quickly as possible and alert Blackstar or Russetfur."
"If they do see you?"
"Don't panic. Remain confident. This is ShadowClan territory and they possess no rights to do anything on it."
"If they ask you to escort them to camp?"
"Check if there is a medicine cat with them. If there is, lead them cautiously to camp without using a direct route. If there is not, lead them back to their territory or sound an alarm. Never forget that they are enemy invaders."
Darkpaw was much better with these scenarios than he had been when they had started. Previously his answer to all of them had been to jump in and kill as many as possible. No doubt, Darkpaw's strength was in talking through a one-on-one or two-on-two fight, not handling enemy parties coming into the territory.
After Darkpaw had been approved to run again, the running training began again. Darkpaw never again made the mistake of over-running himself and slowly became better and better at keeping his footing until he could turn the situation to his advantage. He then had to learn how to trip Mudriver, a task that was much harder to do. Mudriver was larger and harder to stumble, and when he did fall, he fell in a controlled manner Darkpaw had not yet duplicated and sprang back to his paws ready to fight in less than a heartbeat. They practiced alternately day and night to ensure Darkpaw could handle both and Darkpaw even tried it using his gift.
_
As does everything else, two weeks passed and Darkpaw's time to state his decision came. He padded through the darkness, only the smallest sliver of a moon in the sky to guide him. He walked proudly through the bushes and found T.J. waiting for him.
"You have decided then?"
"Yes."
T.J. led him to the crowded clearing and brought him to Lynn. The sounds of the fight currently going on rang through Darkpaw's ears.
"I've made my choice," Darkpaw said confidently.
"What is it?" Lynn asked her interest sincere.
"The Run."…
Ok, sorry I took a while updating again but I was busy. So thanks for reading and you all know I love your attention via reviews and they make Darkpaw happy!