Chapter XXI- "Obviously."
Kirihara angrily stomped around to the backyard of Oshitari's house. He was hopping mad because, once again, no one respected him enough to show up for his meeting time. And then, when he called their houses, all moms concurred that they were at Oshitari's house.
When he reached the backyard, he discovered Oshitari, Fuji, Marui and Sengoku all lounging lazily in Oshitari's pool that he has. No really, he does have one. At least he does NOW.
And a few chapters ago, we specified that the month this story was taking place was October. We're just going to assume that global warming is kicking in and this particular October day happened to be warm enough to constitute a lazy day in the pool.
"Hey!" was the only thing that Kirihara could muster up as he viewed the four of them floating around on various floatation devices.
They all vaguely turned and looked at him.
"Yes?" they chimed.
"What are you doing?" Kirihara demanded.
"OBVIOUSLY we're floating around in Oshitari's pool," Marui said.
"OBVIOUSLY," said the other three.
"I can see that," Kirihara said. "What I want to know is WHY you're doing that instead of being at my house brainstorming on what we can do for a tragic skit that we have to present to our coaches the day after tomorrow and it has to be GOOD because we did BADLY last time. Remember?"
"Of course we remember," said Fuji. "We're just choosing not to care."
"WHY?" demanded Kirihara. "There is a tennis camp on the line!"
"Kirihara, I think we have already gone over this," said Sengoku. "We're the best there is without having to work at it. Going to a tennis camp would be pointless."
"Yeah," said Oshitari. "All we have to do is concentrate hard enough during an intense match and unleash our inner strength."
"But it wouldn't HURT to practice!" Kirihara threw a temper tantrum.
"Yes, the actual practice wouldn't hurt, but the painstaking process we have to go through in order to attain that practice will hurt," Fuji pointed out.
Kirihara looked like he was going to explode with rage. Instead, he took a deep breath and calmed down.
"All right," he said. "I'M the captain of this team, and I say we brainstorm on a skit that tops all tragedies."
"I have a better idea," said Marui. "How about you make the skit and we'll just read it when we have to present it?"
"That's a good idea," said Fuji. "Less work for us."
"No!" said Kirihara. "This has to be a team effort!"
"Does it?" Oshitari looked at the others.
"Yes it does because I'm captain and I SAY it does!" Kirihara said.
"About that, Kirihara," said Sengoku. "We had a mutiny and elected a new captain."
"What?" said Kirihara. "Mutiny? Why didn't I hear about this mutiny?"
"Because you weren't here," Marui answered.
"You guys can't have a mutiny while I'm not here!" said Kirihara.
"Well we did," said Oshitari. "And we decided that Fuji is our new captain."
"We did," Fuji nodded.
"But…but…" Kirihara stuttered as the other four geniuses just looked at him.
Finally, he gave a heavy sigh and sat down at the edge of the pool.
"Look, guys," Kirihara said. "I know you don't like me all that much and you're not too psyched about taking orders from a second year, but can't we just put all that behind us and come up with a really great skit? I think everyone is expecting us to because we're geniuses. I think, in general, everyone was really disappointed with the talent we presented in the talent show and want us to come out of our shell and show what we can really do. They all know and we all know that we can do better. What you say? Do you think we can cooperate for just a little while to come up with something really good?"
The other four geniuses looked at each other.
"One minute," Sengoku said.
They all floated to the center of the pool and turned their backs to Kirihara. Kirihara could hear whispers, but he couldn't tell exactly what they were saying.
Finally, they turned back around and came to the edge of the pool.
"Kirihara, we respect your change of heart and realization," said Fuji. "So, we decided to give you a chance."
"We'll work under you for this one time," Oshitari said. "If it comes out well, we'll reconvene and decide whether or not we can accept it. Then, based on that, we'll have a mutiny or not."
"All right, I won't let you down," said Kirihara, looking determined. "But you guys have to cut me some slack and actually do what I say, all right?"
"Sure," said the other four.
"All right, great!" said Kirihara. "First order of business, you all have to get out of the water."
They all shot him a collective glare.
"Or…what I meant was…I'll go get my bathing suit so we can brainstorm in the water…?" Kirihara tried.
They nodded.
Kirihara gave a heavy sigh and ran off.
Whence he returned with his bathing suit, he joined the other geniuses floating around in the middle of the pool.
"All right, so our topic is tragedy," Kirihara began. "So let's start by thinking of the most tragic things we can think of. Okay?"
"Sounds reasonable," Sengoku shrugged.
"Maybe if we think of enough tragic things, it'll transform in a good idea for a skit to do," Kirihara offered. "Let's go around the circle. Oshitari, what is the most tragic thing you can think of?"
"Hm…" Oshitari rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Losing at tennis."
"Yes," agreed Fuji. "Especially since we're geniuses."
"Yeah," Marui said. "It's just embarrassing."
"We're not looking for embarrassing," said Kirihara. "We want something absolutely tragic."
"If we angst it up enough, then it'll be tragic," Sengoku pointed out.
"And then maybe we could commit mass suicide at the end," Fuji said with a content smile and horseshoe eyes.
"All right…that's just creepy…not tragic…" Kirihara said uneasily.
"It's a tragedy," said Oshitari. "We have to have at least three fifths of us end up dying at the end. If not three fifths, then certainly all of us. We have to have approximately three fifths to all five fifths of us die at the end."
"Why did you say the same thing so many times?" Marui questioned.
"Don't question me," Oshitari warned.
"All right, sorry," said Marui.
"Okay, so we have to definitely die at the end," Kirihara counted off what they had already decided on. "The basic plot is that we lose at tennis, and pretty much all of us die."
"Mass suicide, I'm telling you," Fuji said.
"Why would we commit mass suicide?" said Kirihara, looking a little annoyed.
"The grief of our loss is too much," Fuji answered. "We could all be on the same team, and when we lose, we just become so very sad that we kill ourselves right then and there."
"All of us?" Sengoku said. "Do all of us have to die?"
"Well, I can live at the end," Fuji shrugged. "Maybe it should be mass murder instead of mass suicide. And then I commit suicide."
"Okay, this is getting more than just a little creepy," Marui said.
"Let's try to think of things more tragic instead of creepy," Kirihara suggested. "We know tragedy is basically when somebody dies and everyone deals with it. Therefore, I think we should focus more on having one person die and everyone else's angstful reactions as opposed to all of us committing mass suicide after losing a tennis match."
"Are you telling me that you've never felt like killing yourself after losing a match?" Fuji said.
"Um…"
"I wouldn't know," Fuji said smugly. "I don't lose when it counts."
"So, since Fuji seems kind of excited about the dying potential, do you want to be the one who dies, Fuji?" Sengoku asked.
"All right," Fuji said. "That would certainly be something tragic."
Everyone rolled their eyes when Fuji wasn't looking. And I'll have to tell you this; Fuji was mightily suspicious that all of them decided at exactly that moment to spin around on their flotation devices so they could roll their eyes with their backs to him.
"Okay…so this is our skit," Kirihara said. "Fuji dies… and we all angst about it."
"Sounds golden," Oshitari said.
"Yeah, can we do something else now?" Marui asked. "I'm getting pruney."
"Wait, we have to actually think up lines!" Kirihara said, chasing after them as they all went to the ladder to exit the pool.
"Obviously, Kirihara, we have to go someplace with a computer or several sheets of paper so we can write the script," Sengoku said.
"OBVIOUSLY," said all the geniuses.