A/N: Honestly, this chapter was a nightmare. I can't explain why it was so difficult for me to write, but I've spent so long rewriting it and editing it that I'm starting to go a little bit insane. This is hands down the most trouble I've ever gotten from a chapter from any fic I've written, and I'm sorry for taking forever to get it posted. I just hope that you enjoy reading it, because I am so bummed about it being this hard to finish.
My apologies :c
CorporalNoob- Rude!
Seth Darkcloud- I've always felt that as Syndra, it was really easy to abuse an Akali pre-6 and after (for me, at least) it was typically very easy to catch her in a stun and burst her. Granted, it didn't always work, but I would confidently pick Syndra into that matchup any day. BUT, I guess this conversation is a tad bit outdated since Akali got absolutely nerfed to high hell. RIP :c
Thank you so so much ;-; sorry for taking forever to get more out there.
RaidensRising- Thank you so much! Gosh no, not rude at all. I don't think putting Kalista in at this point would be good for the story either, so no worries!
Thank you again ^-^
Ulcaasi- They exist solely to mess with feels! That is their one purpose in life (probably).
Disdun- We'll see :]
Guest- Maybe!
Gea5s- Thank you! My thoughts exactly c:
Adona2424- Thank you very, very much! I'm sooo happy you the interactions between Zed/Syndra seem real ;-; Thank you again!
Maxaro- Where's the fun in that! "Evil Bastard" is the best compliment I have ever received. Thank you very much! We'll see about all this "fluff" business.
Guest- Thank you ;-; I assure you, I would never leave the story like that. Just a rough patch in writing, but I'll probably be writing this fic long after you guys have begged me to stop. So, no worries!
Again, bah. Just bah. I really hope everyone enjoys, and thank you for bearing with me :c
At some point during the night, the relentless pounding of the downpour over Ionia turned into the soft, quiet patter of snow, unknown to most that slept beneath the clouds.
It was during that dark and silent time that a lone, cloaked figure was seen and heard by no one fleeing the celestial fortress, now covered in a growing blanket of downy whiteness. With many a glance backwards, the figure that did not stop its frenzied escape until Ionia and all its darkness were far behind it.
The shadow hid behind her power, cowering inside her mind while it waited for Syndra to regain her strength. That is why we did not see it.
Zed was perched on the edge of his borrowed bed, hands curled into fists on his lap. Three weeks. Three weeks Syndra had had his old shadow poisoning her mind, and three weeks he'd sat by her side and never noticed. He'd been there every day, every hour he could spare, every second of that time wondering what could possibly be going on beneath her skin that kept her comatose for so long.
How could he not know?
His hands closed a little bit tighter, and it was only with the utmost self-control that Zed didn't break something. It was hard for him to sit calmly while he knew Syndra had left Ionia early that morning and that every second he allowed his own shadow to talk was another that Syndra was moving farther and farther away.
She is going to the Institute. The trial for Karma starts tomorrow, and her testimony is third.
His need to be in motion was fueled by the fact that he now knew where Syndra was going to be, but he figured if fixing the problem was as simple as following Syndra to the Institute, he wouldn't get the feeling his shadow had more to say.
"So we remove it while we are there."
It is not that simple.
He figured as much; he waved his hand for the shadow to continue, trying his hardest to remain patient.
It is clear she will violently defend herself, and we cannot provoke her at the Institute itself. She is still a champion, as are you.
This wasn't something that that Zed particularly cared about; the summoners he'd met briefly were not enough to dissuade him, but he knew his shadow wasn't concerned about the summoners alone.
There is also that there is no one left alive who knows the boundaries of Syndra's power. It would be wise to remain cautious.
Zed had seen only another sliver of what Syndra was capable of last night, and that was moments after waking up, injured and confused and now carrying around a parasite in her mind. His shadow had aptly placed apprehension when it came to facing her on more even ground, as reluctant as he was to admit it.
"Then we lure her back to Ionia after her trial. It stands to reason that she will return; there is nothing for her at the Institute or anywhere else."
Whether Syndra wanted to kill him or not, he was the only thing left in her world that held significant meaning; he knew she wouldn't leave Ionia for good until there was nothing left for her there. Although not the most solid, it seemed like their best plan to Zed, and as he quickly worked through how exactly he would go about getting her to come back, he felt his shadow's vague disapproval.
There is something else. She will not regain her strength while the shadow remains inside her, despite what she may think. Her power, even now, will try to free herself of the shadow, and the process will only serve to make her weaker.
Zed looked up from his folded hands, eyes narrowing at the inflectionless way his shadow spoke that still managed to make him feel like he was missing something very obvious and vitally important. In a way, what it described sounded like a good thing; the weaker Syndra was, the easier it would be for Zed to remove the shadow, and the longer they waited the weaker she would be.
"And?"
And we cannot delay her return to Ionia, because it is not a process she will survive.
Zed had never made it a habit of distrusting his shadow, but he did now, hoping that what it told him was a lie.
"How do you know this?"
His shadow didn't move, keeping the stiff position it usually preferred.
Because it is wise to know who poses a threat to us.
Zed blinked at the shadow, not caring quite enough to press it further for more details; however it had come across the information, it was invaluable now.
"We cannot let her attend the trial."
It occurred to Zed that if she were to go to the trial, Syndra's testimony would be influenced more by her shadow than what actually happened, and if her retelling of the night contrasted too much with what Akali and Shen said, the blame would be shifted solely to her. They needed to get Syndra back to Ionia before her trial date, and before the strain of the shadow controlling her mind killed her. Zed ran a hand over his jaw and then over the rest of his face, noting the rough scratch of stubble beneath his fingers and how the tiredness around his eyes could not be rubbed away, although it was an ache preferable to the tightness that gripped his chest.
No.
Zed stood up, not giving the room much of a second glance before stepping out, assuming that the shadow would follow. It said that Syndra's trial date was third; if the trials were to happen one by one, they would have ample time to reach the Institute, but if for some reason it was split into twos, Zed would already be running short on time. He hurried to the apartment, walking through the wreckage to the untouched bedroom in search of something suitable to wear for travelling. There was only the smallest of closets in the room, and as he sifted through the dark cloth he tried to ignore the fact that the majority of what was hanging in it was Syndra's, mostly untouched until now. Still, he felt another twinge in his chest as he walked past the empty bed, tightening his hold on the retrieved cloak in his hands as he tried to will away a predominantly guilty swirl of emotions that felt painfully unfamiliar.
Three weeks.
The words kept repeating in his mind even as he closed the apartment door behind him and walked through the order, and didn't cease after he had left, or even when he began to give himself over to the shadows.
He was more shadow than man when the thoughts finally began to fade, but the guilt he felt was something that would never really disappear.
There were ships that left the Ionian harbor in the dreadfully small hours of the morning, and Syndra was glad that she'd made the journey to the Institute more than once before; she knew which miniscule harbor towns would have ships captained by people who did not ask questions and did not look too closely, but it was still only after the frigid sea was foaming around her and the black shore was just disappearing behind the waves that she finally allowed herself to relax. She was cooped up in a cabin of her own, each light kept off and still nervously tugging her cloak over her hair. She gently pressed the tips of her fingers to her temples, rubbing them in small circles and hoping that it would help ease the ache behind her eyes.
But as usual, it did not.
It was easy enough for her not to focus on it, for the moment; her shadow had said little to her since she'd left Ionia, but chose now to begin to speak to her.
The High Summoner will have sent word by now. There is a trial for Karma's murder.
Syndra's face twisted beneath the shade of the cowl, and she dropped her hands into her lap.
"There is no need for a trial. Zed is responsible. The High Summoner would be blind not to see that."
The shadow hummed in that strange, silent way it had of speaking, and although Syndra knew it would agree with her, it said nothing in affirmation. Another thought occurred to Syndra while she was waiting for her shadow to speak, and her face soured even further.
"Zed will be there, will he not?"
Yes.
Although she'd fled from him at first, Syndra was quickly getting tired of running away; the fingers of her unbroken hand curled into a painfully tight fist, and her anger was fueled by the fact that she could feel her shadow's disapproval.
You are weakened now, and –
Syndra was on her feet before the thought was finished, standing in the middle of the cabin and screaming into the empty air.
"I am not weak!"
She stood there for several long seconds that were tense enough to almost feel, her words ringing in the still air. The resulting dizziness of her sudden motion and the ever present headache contradicted her words, but she refused to let herself falter before the shadow acquiesced.
You misunderstood.
Syndra shook her head, but the swaying of the boat did nothing to help her equilibrium, and she couldn't keep standing to prove her point for much longer. She fell to back to the bed, trying her best to relax into the rough, unaccommodating blankets that was all the ship had to offer. She understood the shadow just fine, and it was wrong.
"You told me of Zed's plans to ruin me. How can I protect myself, my power and you if I run?"
It wasn't only that it didn't make sense for Syndra to flee when she should fight, but she simply didn't want to; she itched to rid herself of Zed once and for all.
Zed may not be your equal, but he is no fool, nor is he weak. You injured yourself in your thoughtless attack at the order; you cannot afford to be so careless again.
Syndra bristled at being patronized, and the fingers she'd unconsciously placed back at her temples began to curl into her hair, even if what it said was grounded in truth. What was she to do, then?
But as reckless as you are, he is more by far.
Syndra relaxed the grip she had on her hair but squeezed her eyes shut, pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes.
"I do not understand."
He will make a mistake, and when he does, we will be ready. That is what we wait for.
Akali lived alone.
She had even requested a room in the Institute far away from the Ionian wing and deep into uncharted territory so that she had no neighbors and a very large apartment to herself, and it was that reason that had her jerking awake very suddenly and very violently when she felt someone slowly shaking her shoulder. As quick as she was, the hand she had lifted to strike her would-be attacker was still caught in a gentle but unyielding grip, and she opened bleary eyes to glare as she jerked into an upright position. The first thing she registered was how stiff her back was, and immediately after was that she was definitely not in her room; it was much smaller, much emptier, and currently occupied by someone she wasn't even sure knew where her own apartment was. Shen had his fingers still curled around her wrist, but released it when she tugged at his grip, eyeing her very calmly even after she'd attempted to harm him. She used her now-free hand to rub her eyes, nervously glancing at Shen when she thought he wasn't looking and trying to surreptitiously analyze herself at the same time. Still wearing her clothes from yesterday, and still a little fuzzy on the specifics.
"You fell asleep."
Shen tilted his chin to the chair in front of his desk, and Akali cringed; at least that explained why her back was killing her. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, trying to fix the mess she assumed her hair was in and appreciating when Shen moved a little bit farther away.
"What time is it?"
Her voice was a scratchy groan, and she realized now how thirsty she was. As if he could read her mind, Shen stepped into the connecting room that contained the kitchen, and spoke over the sound of the faucet.
"Twenty after 10."
Akali groaned again, giving her eyes another thorough rub as she remembered that she couldn't go back to sleep even though it was very early on a day she would have usually had off, because today the trial for Karma began and she was the first to testify. If Shen was right about the time (and he would be), then she would have just about another hour or so to find breakfast and make herself halfway presentable before she was due to see the High Summoner. She was frowning when Shen came to hand her the glass of water, but she nodded in thanks and eagerly brought it to her lips. She handed the glass back when it was empty, a thought occurring to her belatedly.
"Where did you sleep?"
The bed was thankfully only large enough for one person, and he didn't look disheveled enough to have slept in the desk chair all night. He cleared his throat as if the question made him uncomfortable, but his face stayed clear.
"I didn't."
Akali's frown took on a guilty hue, but she didn't bother apologizing; he would never let her finish it.
"Will they allow you to attend the trial?"
She was expecting the negative shake of his head, since he was in the trial himself, but it didn't make her any less disappointed. She didn't think Kennen would be allowed to be there either, and the apprehension she'd been harboring for the last week grew even more. She stood up, stretching her arms far behind her head until they gave a satisfying crack, and tried her best to smooth the wrinkles in her shirt. She'd never really given much attention to her appearance before, but she was conscious of it now, and more than a little eager to be on her way. She nodded to where Shen was still sitting, and averted her gaze as she moved for the door.
"Thank you, for…"
Her voice trailed off awkwardly, and thankfully Shen didn't comment on it; he simply made a small sound in acknowledgement as she let herself out, and when the door was safely shut behind her, Akali felt the blush she'd been trying desperately to hold back color her cheeks. She'd been staying late at Shen's apartment the last couple of days as they prepared for the trial and she hadn't exactly been getting her usual amount of sleep as the date approached, but it was very unlike herself and very… unprofessional to have fallen asleep there all night. She tried not to think of how she ended up in his bed after falling asleep at the desk as she walked briskly to her apartment, trying instead to go over everything she thought might be asked of her at the trial. It was a long, depressing list that Akali wasn't especially eager to revisit, but when she was done with her testimony today she would be finished until they came to a decision. Whatever decision that would be, only time would tell.
She couldn't help but feel nervous as she walked through the Institute's halls, her mind automatically going to the worst case scenario. She didn't know the outcomes of previous Champion trials, but she assumed the summoners considered execution to be a suitable punishment for murder; if that was the course of action they decided on, not even Shen could save her from death this time. And if she was removed, stripped of her status as a champion, everything she and Shen and Kennen had worked to build for the Kinkou the last few years would be ruined; to start over was an abysmal prospect.
But still preferable to execution.
When Akali finally arrived at her apartment door, she tried to think of anything but how the trial that hadn't yet started would end. She made a beeline for the bathroom, avoiding the mirrors on the wall and eagerly undressing to take a shower, doing her best to scrub all of her sleepless nights from her skin and her hair. She relaxed (if marginally) as she breathed in the familiar scent of her shampoo, letting herself enjoy the warmth of the water on her skin before reminding herself that if she didn't leave soon, she wouldn't be able to get something to eat before the trial. She felt a faint pang of hunger that was motivation enough to get her out of the shower, dressed and on her way before she could decide a nap took precedence over food.
The cafeteria of sorts for the Champions that bothered to eat was almost always crowded and noisy, and Akali cringed when it appeared that today would be no different; there was a kitchen in her apartment that she wished she knew how to use, and even though Shen was quite proficient at cooking and often made food for her and Kennen, it hadn't crossed her mind before she left earlier to ask. She half expected Kennen to be in one of the nooks or sitting at one of the tables, but every row was filled with people that bore no resemblance to the miniature ninja, and it was easy enough for Akali to decide that she wouldn't be sitting down to eat, even if she could find an available spot. She ducked quickly between a few of the people standing in front of a shelf of something Akali couldn't really see but thought would be small enough to eat while she walked, closing her hand around a wrapper and extracting herself before anybody really even knew she was there.
She wandered in the general direction of the room where the trial was being held, swallowing her tasteless food and regretting eating at all when her stomach churning uncomfortably. Akali had never been nervous like this before, and the closest thing she could equate the feeling to was being poisoned. She tried to take deep, even breaths as she walked to the trial room, tying her damp hair away from her face and smoothing imaginary stray strands into place. Almost exactly on time, she arrived at the room, which was in a part of the Institute almost completely opposite of the living quarters but equally deserted. Akali opened the door, revealing a small lobby with a desk against the far wall and a door to its right, with chairs along the wall at Akali's back. She walked up to the desk manned by a robed summoner and glanced at the closed door beside her.
"Sign in, please."
The summoner pushed a clipboard across the desk, and placed a pen where Akali could reach it. She scribbled her name on the empty sheet, and the summoner promptly took the clipboard, motioning towards the chairs with her chin.
"Have a seat. They'll call for you in a moment."
Akali did was she was told and perched nervously on the edge of one of the chairs, folding her hands as calmly as she could in her lap. Was it a bad sign that she had to wait? Had she maybe gotten the time wrong? They were inconsequential worries that plagued her now, and her stomach was beginning to twist again when the door beside the desk opened, another one of the summoners behind it.
"The High Summoner will see you now."
Although innocuous, the words sounded foreboding, and Akali took a quick breath in an attempt to settle her nerves before she responded. She stood when she felt slightly better, crossing the room and passing the summoner when she walked through the doorway. The trial room itself was a lot smaller than she thought initially; the ceiling was high but it was only about twice the size of her own apartment, allotting just enough room for two podiums and the two rows of seats for the jury that stood behind and to the right of the podium farthest from the door. It was the same stark white as the rest of the Institute, but the ceiling above the jury dipped, casting a shadow over that portion of the room. Akali's eyes went there first, and although she already knew that the jury was going to be composed of both summoners and some Champions the High Summoner picked from Ionia, she was still surprised by some of the people she saw sitting there; she really began to question Vessaria's judgment when she spotted Ahri sitting between Lee Sin and Sona, but she was called to attention before she had much time to dwell on it.
"You may approach."
Akali stepped up to podium designated for her, folding her hands on top of the wood and waiting for the High Summoner to speak again. Vessaria was sifting through a stack of papers on her own podium, several feet from Akali's, and she pushed her glasses a little farther up her nose before she spoke.
"When you begin your testimony, you are expected to relay the events exactly as they happened and use nothing but the truth. If we are given evidence that anything you say is false, your testimony will be discounted and you will be judged as such. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
Vessaria rearranged the order of her papers, and when she was satisfied with them she set it down, now fixing Akali with that coolly superior stare that she hated so much.
"Recount the night in question as it happened to you. Please begin when you first arrived at Karma's residence."
Akali cleared her throat and she hesitated, but the majority of her earlier nervousness disappeared; she'd been over this. This is easy.
"I arrived very late at night, and met Shen on the path that led away from Karma's home and into the woods. The message we received from Syndra the week prior had said that Zed was ill, so I asked Shen about his condition. He told me that Zed was awake and weak, and I assumed that Zed would leave Karma's home and return to his order to reopen his box of shadows. It is the-"
Vessaria interrupted before Akali could begin, looking almost annoyed.
"We are aware of what it is and its significance. You can continue."
Akali very seriously doubted that she or anyone in that room had the slightest inkling of the Box's significance, but she continued anyway, deciding that arguing the point wouldn't get her anywhere. She cleared her throat, picking up where she left off.
"I left Shen and hurried to the house. Syndra and Zed were already outside, and Karma followed them out. I confronted Zed, but he refused to step down, and I tried to stop him. Before I could reach him, Syndra used her magic to in an attempt to stop me, but Karma intercepted it. Shen and Syndra went to her immediately, but from my understanding, she was lost before she hit the ground. Syndra and Zed ran away before Shen was even finished trying to revive Karma. We brought her to Soraka, but there was nothing she could do."
She remembered all too clearly how desperately Soraka had tried to breathe life back into Karma, and although Akali had to swallow past what felt like a physical lump in her throat, Vessaria looked completely unaffected.
"When you tried to stop Zed, did you intend to kill him?"
Akali was tempted to lie, but her hatred of Zed was not something she had ever tried to keep a secret, and the stare of the jury was heavy on her face.
"Yes."
She looked at the jury from the corner of her eye, but even the Champions had smooth, impartial expressions that were impossible to read.
"Did you know that Karma was going to interfere?"
It seemed like a rather uneducated question to Akali; why would she ever attack Zed if she knew it would only end with Karma's death? She frowned at Vessaria, allowing the tiniest hint of indignation to color her voice.
"Of course not."
Vessaria simply continued down her list while Akali shifted uncomfortably behind her podium.
"Please explain why you felt that stopping Zed was worth the risk of endangering everyone's life."
Akali's folded hands closed into fists that no one could see, and her lip curled. This was a conversation she already had with Vessaria, and she repeated it with the same sense of conviction she had before.
"Because Zed is a dangerous murderer, and if we allowed to him to open the Box and upset the balance, it is impossible to tell what he would have done. I decided that the risk to our lives was worth ensuring that Zed was not able to leave. It was the safety of four people against the safety of Ionia."
Vessaria nodded, briefly scribbling something on the paper in front of her, the gravity of Akali's voice not appearing to affect her at all.
"You did not physically harm Zed, is that correct?"
Although Akali wished she had, she never got close enough to him that night.
"No."
"Syndra?"
"No."
"And you immediately returned to the Institute after seeing Soraka?"
"Yes."
Vessaria shuffled the papers again, but she didn't have another question prepared; she adjusted her glasses again and looked up at Akali when she was finished, that dead stare only making Akali's frown deepen.
"Do you have anything else you would like to add?"
Akali briefly went over the story in her head again, but she was certain that nothing was missing, and she was satisfied that she had gotten to say everything she wanted.
"No."
It was brief, as trials went, but Vessaria gathered the papers in her hands and the jury that had been silent until then began to move around.
"Then we are finished. You are dismissed."
Akali didn't wait for Vessaria to repeat herself, immediately turning away from her podium and leaving the room as fast as she could move without running. The summoner behind the desk looked up at her as she left but said nothing, and Akali was slamming the door behind her before anyone could call her back.
She was halfway to her apartment before she stopped walking, leaning against the wall in an empty hallway and running her hands through her hair, taking a long, drawn out breath as she tried to sort through her thoughts. It was impossible to tell how the incredibly short trial had gone; Vessaria said nothing that would indicate whether they thought she was guilty or not, and she had gotten not a single hint from the jury. The whole thing struck Akali as very strange and almost surreal, but her apprehension for what Vessaria and the jury would eventually decide was, for now, overshadowed by her relief that all of her worry and waiting were over. The trial she'd been losing sleep over for weeks had lasted almost less than half an hour, and she was almost angry about all the wasted anxiety.
Almost.
She was still too relieved to feel much of anything else, and when she was a little bit more collected, she resumed walking, although no longer in the direction of her apartment; she didn't really want to be alone, and she drifted back towards where the majority of the Ionian wing was, following a comfortingly familiar route to Shen's room. It struck her again as she stopped outside of his door how strange it was that the wing was so deserted, but forgot it almost immediately as she raised a hand to knock on the door. The sound her knuckles made on the metal was hollow, and there was no answering movement from inside; Akali frowned at the shiny numbers on the outside of the door, and knocked again, but louder this time. She tried to wait patiently, but patience was admittedly not her best attribute, and she was in the middle of her third attempt at knocking when the door finally swung inwards, revealing a very bleary eyed Shen, still clearly dressed for bed. There was a red mark across his cheek from his pillow, and Akali might have laughed if she didn't feel so bad for waking him up.
"Come in."
He stepped aside before she could apologize, and she followed him in, closing the door behind her. It occurred to her as she once again perched on the edge of the desk chair that she'd recently made quite the nuisance out of herself; Shen wouldn't complain, but that didn't stop her from feeling guilty.
"I didn't mean to wake you."
He waved his hand as he stifled a yawn, sitting heavily on the rumpled sheets on his bed. His gaze looked much clearer now, and he fixed it on her with fresh interest.
"The trial was short. Did it go well?"
Akali shook her head, and tapped her fingers against the armrest of the chair.
"I am not sure. They hardly asked me anything."
She was under strict orders not to discuss the fine details of the trial with anyone, which Shen knew, so he didn't press her for more information.
"It sounds like a good thing, to me. If they have little to ask you, then perhaps they have already determined that you are not guilty."
It didn't make a lot of sense to Akali, even if she was being optimistic; why have her on trial at all if she wasn't suspected of being guilty?
"Or it could mean that they have already decided against my innocence."
Shen frowned and crossed his arms over his chest, repeating something Akali had heard many times since that night at Karma's, a touch of exasperation in his tone.
"You are not guilty. It is impossible for them to place the blame solely on you."
Akali nodded like she always did, although it was more of a conditioned response than an agreement. She slumped a little deeper into the chair, staring forlornly at a spot on the floor.
"And what if they do? What if I am exiled from the League?"
Her fingers curled around the armrests of the chair, and her look grew angry.
"It would shame the Kinkou."
After Zed's takeover, life for the Kinkou was very hard fought, but they had managed to stay alive and flourish despite his persecution. When she and Shen and Kennen had been accepted as champions, it forced the otherwise indifferent elders of Ionia to consider their situation worthy of their attention. She hated to think that this trial could end with her losing her champion status, and further her people from the help they needed.
"Would it shame you if I was exiled?"
Akali looked up from the floor, not quite sure if she'd heard Shen correctly.
"Why would you be? You've done nothing wrong."
Shen just stared at her evenly, waiting for an answer.
"No, it wouldn't."
She looked at Shen like the answer was obvious, and his answering stare was a mirror of hers.
"Then you should know it would be no different for you."
To him, maybe it wasn't, but Akali was very aware that the Kinkou did not hold them to the same standards; Akali wasn't as well liked or revered, and Shen had been the one that saved them the day the order fell.
She was the one who left them.
It was old news, but some of the Kinkou had long memories, and Akali would never stop feeling guilty for it. It was why the threat of being exiled frightened her as much as it did. To lose the League, her people, and their chance at finally establishing themselves again…
She ran her hands roughly over her face, all her earlier relief washed away by fresh worry. Three days. Only three more days, and then she wouldn't have to make herself sick over the trial anymore.
"For my sake, I hope it isn't."
Everything seemed to be going Syndra's way.
She hadn't been able to sleep, but the trip to Bilgewater was smooth and uneventful and she docked at the island just after midday. Syndra wasn't waylaid in the pirate's city for long, and there was a boat available to her an hour or so after she arrived, and then she was back on the water before the memory of her last stay on the island could catch up to her. The ship to the mainland was bigger and nicer than her charter from Ionia, and even though the air was still frigid and sharp, Syndra spent the beginning of the journey on the deck of the ship. There was something about the steady throb of the waves around them that dulled some of the aches that continued to dog her, and she picked absentmindedly at what was left of the wrappings on her broken fingers as she watched the sea.
Do your injuries plague you badly?
With the way she felt, she was surprised her shadow couldn't feel for itself; her fractured hand had settled into a steady ache, and the burning along her left arm was an indication that the wound from Zed's shadow was getting infected, although she refused to lift her sleeve and find out for sure.
But Syndra was not above lying.
"No."
And your magic?
Syndra lifted the unbroken hand from where she'd had it resting on the rail around the edge of the ship, holding it in front of her eyes and easily willing three very small, dark spheres into the air above her palm, smiling at them as they bobbed in the wind. Her shadow hummed in appraisal, and did something it had only attempted the other night; the shadow added its strength to hers, and the spheres in her hand doubled in size, seemingly swallowing the light around them. Syndra watched as the shadow tested the control it had, moving the spheres in intricate patterns over Syndra's head and in the air in front of her. It was a strange feeling, although not entirely unpleasant, and she felt a rush of power when the shadow again increased the size of the orbs. It was easy for her to become lost in the movements, and when the spheres suddenly disappeared, Syndra frowned at her hands, feeling the rush of strength desert them.
Our potential is… limitless.
Syndra could feel the truth of the words resonate in her like nothing she'd ever felt before; the feeling washed away everything else in that moment, and Syndra curled her hands around the railing again, smiling at the sea.
It would be so easy to finish the fight against Zed.
She yearned for when she would finally be able to fully combine their strength and use it not just for small and frivolous displays of her unparalleled power. Syndra knew her shadow wanted to wait for Zed to make a mistake and make it easier for them to defeat him, but after the trial was finished, she wanted to return to Ionia; already the distance was too far, and as calming as the sea was, it was not home.
Syndra set aside the thoughts for later. It wouldn't be until after the trial that she would have to decide how to proceed, and that wasn't for another day and a half; until then, she had other things to wonder about. Now that her shadow had receded some, her sleepless nights weighed on her a bit more heavily, and she leaned against the railing, hoping her shadow would keep her mind from it.
"How did you tolerate Zed for so long?"
It was difficult for her to wrap her mind around the shadow allowing Zed to control it for all those years, just as she had allowed him to.
Patience.
The shadow replied simply, and although she was still curious, she sensed that it didn't want to say more. Syndra freed a hand from the railing and ran it over her face, wiping away the slight drizzle of rain and the delicate spray of sea water that she hadn't really noticed until just then. She looked at her frigid hands, intending to tuck them deep beneath her coat but frowning when she noticed something on her skin.
Blood?
There was a smear of crimson across the part of her hand that she'd used to wipe the rain water from her face, and she lifted her fingers to her nose, blinking at them when they came back bloody, even if it was faint. She didn't say anything, and she was grateful that the shadow seemed to not be paying attention, and she left the deck of the ship and headed below to the cabin she was assigned. There was no bathroom, but there was a sink and a mirror situated below the only light in the small room. Syndra turned on the tap, scrubbing her hand clear and lifting her eyes to the mirror, frowning at what she saw. There was a thin trail of blood underneath her nose that was smudged from where she wiped it, but that washed away easily with water. Although she wasn't particularly concerned, Syndra was certainly confused; broken bones and headaches didn't cause nosebleeds.
"Curse this weather."
Cold weather had a habit of making her ill, and although it had never given her a nosebleed before, it had stopped already and didn't pain her in any way. She dried her hands and her face with a towel on the side of the basin, and changed her damp cloak in favor of something dry to wear when she curled into her bed, making sure her nose had really stopped bleeding before closing her eyes. The steady sway of the ship helped lull her almost to sleep, but like the night before, her rest was short lived; in-between brief stretches of dreamless sleep she was awakened by headaches and a growing discomfort from the infected arm.
She gave up entirely on sleep around dawn, but instead of searching for food or heading back to the deck of the ship, she decided to stay in the cabin, not sleeping but resting the best she could before they arrived at the mainland later in the day. She only got up once that morning to change the bandages on her left arm, frowning in unconcealed worry at the swollen skin that hurt just to look at. Now she wasn't only excited to reach the mainland, but desperate; her knowledge of bodily injuries was miniscule at best, but she knew she couldn't go without treating her arm for much longer. She rewrapped the bandages loosely and pulled her sleeve back over the wound, setting it as gently as she could on her lap. She sat up against the wall of the cabin, pulling her knees up to her chest and setting her chin on top.
Syndra fixed her gaze on the opposite wall of the cabin, and the more unfocused it grew the more and more she forgot about her arm. She couldn't help but think of the trial, of Zed, of how badly she ached to crush the life from his thieving body. She closed her eyes as she imagined how it would feel to defeat him and his shadow, to once again have Ionia to herself, to avenge Karma, and to have defended her power against yet another that wished to take it.
And in that darkened ship from Bilgewater, Syndra daydreamed of murder and smiled.