Ch. 21 Confusion Is Nothing New
"Are we really done talking about it?" Rick set the last dish in her drying rack and watched her leaf through the files she had brought home.
"Yes." Kate pushed her hair back again but it fell in her face once more. She let out an angry sigh and pushed back from the coffee table.
"Kate?" Rick walked over to her and sat in the chair she was resting against. "I understand that you feel betrayed, I would too. But maybe you should hear what she has to say." He saw her angry face and pressed on. "You deserve an explanation. That's all I was going to say." He pulled her to him and she rested in front of his legs. He proceeded to rub her shoulders and he felt her relax into him.
"I appreciate your input, really I do."
"But…"
"But I don't want to talk to her, yet. I will but it will be when I am ready. Now, as much as I want you to continue, I have to read through this before tomorrow. And I know you have a case to work on." She pushed his hands away and crawled back into her position. Her shorts rolled up a little as she scooted back by her stuff. Her blue shorts with white polka dots were a favorite of hers. And the flowy, tank top to match made them that much better.
One of her straps slid off her shoulder and Rick couldn't help but get distracted by her bare shoulder. He watched as the shorts slid up her leg and his eyes wandered from the paper he was supposed to be reading to her tanned legs and bare skin.
She felt she was being watched and turned to see him eyeing her. "Hey mister. You're supposed to be working right now. I am." Her seductive smile just messed him up more.
"Oh no you don't." She turned around curious. "You don't get to make that face and show your skin and then tell me to focus on my work. That will never happen." He tossed his file aside and watched it slide across the floor. He walked closer to her and kneeled next to her.
"Seriously Rick, I really do have to work." She tried to back away but as his hands slid across her skin, she relented. His fingers coursed across her skin, sending shivers everywhere. He started to kiss her neck and pulled down her other strap when there was a knock at the door.
"Ignore it." He continued to kiss her but the knocking turned into pounding.
"I can't." She said as she pushed him off her. She stood up and pushed her straps back on her shoulders as she made her way to the door. She tried to calm down so the blush wouldn't come across her cheeks anymore.
When she opened the door she was surprised to see Alexis there. "Alexis, what do you need?"
"I just need to talk to you guys. Is that ok?" She wiped at her cheek and tried to control her shaking.
"Come on in." Kate shut the door after her and Alexis kicked off her sneakers at the door. When Kate joined Alexis on the couch she skimmed Alexis's leg. "Oh my goodness, you're freezing."
Alexis just looked down at her bare leg. "I wanted to wear shorts." She wrapped her legs underneath her and turned her attention on Kate and Rick. "I don't mean to impose on you guys at this hour but I couldn't be around Sam or Lily anymore. All the crying, I couldn't take it anymore. I just had to get out of there. They were a wreck and I mean I am too but…" Her words were choked off by her tears.
Kate rubbed Alexis's shaky arm. "I understand what it's like to lose someone. It hurts. And I won't lie to you and say it gets easier because it doesn't and I know you lost your parents already but fresh wounds, they hurt." Kate tried not to cry as well but at the thought of her dad, her throat formed a big lump.
"Hey, why don't I make some coffee." Rick took one look at a crying Kate and a crying Alexis and thought about it. "Decaf."
"I mean I thought she was getting better. That's what she kept saying to us but obviously she wasn't. I just wonder if I had known, could I have saved her?" Alexis leaned into Kate's shoulder and let her tears go.
"No. I wondered that about my dad. The whole time I knew he was sick but I kept denying the fact that he wasn't going to get better. He looked good and he was doing good and then well…" Kate wiped her eyes and continued to rub Alexis's head.
"It isn't fair. Death. It isn't fair." Alexis continued to cry.
Rick handed Kate her mug and set the mug for Alexis in front of her. Alexis reached for the mug and let it warm her hands. "If you want to talk some more I…"
"No. I'm too tired to talk anymore. Hey Kate?"
"Yeah?"
"You mind if I crash here. I'll sleep on the couch or…"
"You can sleep in my library on the chaise if you want. It's super comfortable."
"No, I'll sleep on the couch. I'm gonna go wash my face." She set her mug back down and slowly walked to the little bathroom off to the left of Kate's bedroom.
"I feel so bad for her." Kate walked over to Rick and slid onto his lap.
"Me too. But what are we to do but to just be there for her?" He rubbed Kate's leg and pulled her closer to him.
"I am sorry we couldn't well, you know." She ran her hand across his bare chest.
"I was going to say sorry for my sister coming and pouring herself out to you. I mean, she just barged into your home."
"No. She is always welcome anytime." Kate continued to run her finger along his chest while he slid his hand under her shirt. His fingers ran over her stomach and she giggled as his finger continued to tickle her. "You have to stop. She'll be back any minute and we still have to clean up our work."
He nuzzled her neck and ran his fingers up her stomach, grazing her breasts. She pushed his hand away but his finger continued to travel upward. She pulled his hand out from underneath her shirt but he slid it right back under.
"Stop! Rick!" She burst out laughing and she kept giggling as he continued to tickle her anywhere he could manage. But the minute Alexis's footsteps could be heard, he withdrew his hand.
"You guys? I think I'm gonna head back." Alexis wiped her nose on her sleeve and began picking up her stuff.
Kate slid off Rick's lap and grabbed Alexis by the shoulders. Alexis dropped herself down and leaned back into Kate. Kate wrapped her arm across Alexis's shoulders and rubbed her head with her free hand. Alexis just heaved. Her sobs were loud but Kate let her cry it out.
Before long, Alexis was sound asleep in Kate's arms. Rick carried Alexis to the couch and gently lay her down. Kate grabbed the blanket off the back of her couch and tucked Alexis in with it. She gathered up all her files and Rick did the same. After their door was shut, Kate laid out her files across her floor and sat Indian style.
"You still pouring over all of that?" Rick climbed in bed but hesitated laying down. "I thought that Don guy cleared up."
"He did but something is wrong. I don't see it yet but I can feel it. Paulie checked out, Don checked out, the Vets' place has to be a weird coincidence. I know it sounds stupid but I trust myself." Kate pushed her hair back and sighed again when it fell back into her face.
Rick got out of bed and sat down next to her. He grabbed her hands and held them to his chest. "I get this is getting to you but you do need sleep. So, please come to bed and start fresh tomorrow."
"But there is something here Rick. These victims' parents are waiting for answers. I want to give them some. But am I letting them down?" A lonely tear slid down her cheek and onto her chest.
"Kate, you are the most loyal and dedicated person I know. So, no. You are not letting anyone down." He wiped her tears and pulled her in for a gentle kiss. "I love you so much Kate."
"I love you too Rick."
"Ok, since you have no desire to sleep and I won't be able to sleep knowing that you're awake, let's review what you have so far." He dropped her hands and grabbed the file on Shaya Reed.
"I talked with her mom and checked her room. There was only one thing that was suspicious, the acting scout. Checked him out and he cleared. Then I learned from Marty and Livia that there was this guy, Don Waterson, who was somewhat obsessed with Shaya. But once again he checks out. I brought him in and I believed him. But I still ran his alibi and he cleared. Remember that Paulie guy I told you about? Well, he was cleared as well. I have checked into the Vets' place. Remember that one?"
"Sure do. But you think it's a coincidence?"
"I know that I don't believe in them but I believe them this time." She slid Shaya's file out of the way and grabbed Gisella's.
"This is the next one?" Rick slid out Gisella's picture.
"Yes. I talked with her dad and checked her room. I talked with her fellow student council members and they say that she was always on time and left at exactly the same time."
"So if someone wanted her dead they could figure out where she'd be because she had a routine." Rick replaced Gisella's photo and grabbed the file from Kate.
"Exactly what I thought but no one remembers a thing. I even followed the same path that she would have taken. There was one deserted spot but nothing. That was a killer. I wanted there to be more but I was left with nothing." Kate closed both Shaya's file and Gisella's and placed them in a separate pile.
"Next was Elena Carter?" Rick looked at her picture. Elena had big hazel eyes and a wide smile.
"Her high school graduation picture. She had just graduated. Last time she was seen was leaving work. She drove but her car was later found; it had been stripped and there was no evidence recovered."
"You talked with her family today?" He pulled out the report Kate had written earlier.
"And co-workers. Nothing came up. I mean, today was just dead end after dead end. She was smart and friendly. She was a waitress at a small diner. She mingled, went home, and studied. She lived by herself in a one bedroom apartment with a dog. The dog's name was Snappy. I know things about her but not about who killed her." Kate closed Elena's file and left it to join Shaya's and Gisella's.
"Who else did you get to today?" Rick grabbed the last file that she slid to him.
"Imogen Bells. She was nineteen. A student at NYU, studying to become a teacher. She was last seen at the library, studying. Her friends said that she would stay till close. She went at all hours so she had no routine. When she didn't show up the following day to her class, her best friend, Lou Lou freaked and reported her missing. She was later found in a closet of a house that was up for sale. No security tapes on the property."
"How did he get in?" Rick tugged on his shorts and crossed his arms across his chest.
"There was a busted window but the alarm never went off. I talked with her friends, once again they all paned out. So I grabbed security tapes from the University." She closed her file and let it join the pile she had started.
"And?"
"And nothing. There was no sign of her. And I checked, I even had Ryan check for me. We came up empty. There was no trace that she was even in the library. So how did he get her to leave and go with him? How did he get any of them to come with him? How did he get them alone? Did he approach them or they come to him? Who is doing all this?" Kate shoved the other files away from her and leaned back into the end of her bed.
"Maybe someone needs some sleep." He tugged lightly on her knee and waited for her to smile. "Come on, you have that appointment at nine. And it's already one in the morning. This will still be here for you tomorrow." He tugged on her knee once more and smiled at her when she turned her attention to him.
"I know and that's the problem." She pushed her hair back off her forehead.
"What is?"
"That they'll still be here tomorrow. That he killed all of them in the first place. And he will never be done."
"Kate, you need sleep, come on." He stood up and held out his hand for her. When she placed her palm in his, he pulled her up.
"We, I mean I, need to catch this guy."
"You will. Just not tonight." He kissed her, lightly and waited for her to crawl into her bed before setting the alarm. "Now I will see you fresh and well rested in the morning." He pulled her head to him and kissed her once more. "I love you."
"Love you too." Kate didn't get to be well rested; her dreams kept her well awake.
Bennett was playing soccer in their backyard with Rick as Kate and Aurora made cookies in the kitchen. Raelyn was playing with her toys in the living room.
"Mommy?" Aurora rolled a cookie ball and gently placed it on the cookie sheet in front of her.
"Yes Rora?"
"I want to invite Jaden over this weekend. Can I?"
Aurora and Bennett had just turned thirteen and already Aurora was interested in boys. That fact both delighted and scared Kate and Rick. But Kate knew that it would come sometime.
"He can join us for dinner. How's that sound?" Kate poked her head out and saw Raelyn was still playing with her Barbies.
"Ok. But make sure Dad doesn't go all crazy. Please." Aurora looked up at Kate with her bright, golden eyes and silently pleaded.
"I'll try but you know your dad, he can't control himself sometimes." Kate put the last tray into the oven and admired their handiwork.
"I think we're gonna sell the most." Aurora finished washing her hands and smiled at all the cookie containers.
"Next time your school has a bake sale, I'm making brownies. Less work. Raelyn?"
"Yeah Mommy?" Raelyn padded in the kitchen, her little dress following behind her. She rubbed her eyes and Kate laughed.
"Is someone getting tired?" She kneeled in front of Raelyn and rubbed Raelyn's back.
"Maybe." She wrapped her little arms around Kate's neck and yawned into her ear.
"I'll get her to bed if you want." Aurora grabbed Raelyn's hand and pulled her along. "You'll be in, in a little bit, right?"
"Yeah. Let me get the boys. It is getting pretty late." Kate checked the clock on the wall across from her and saw that it was already seven. "Hey guys?" Both Rick and Bennett turned to see Kate in the doorway. "Time to come in."
"Come on Mom! We have a big game Saturday. Please let me practice." Bennett had become even more like Rick as he had gotten older. The creases that rested lightly on his smile were an exact replica of Rick's.
"Not tonight. Tomorrow is Friday, you can practice then." Kate closed the door after her, knowing that he would listen and come in.
"Man that was nuts." They laughed as they came in and Kate immediately kissed Bennett on the head when he walked by her.
"Wash up and head to bed. Raelyn is getting to bed so try not to make noise. I'll be up in ten." She watched him bound the stairs and turned back to Rick. "Why do I get the feeling that he can't stand listening to me?" She started to wash off the dishes that were used for making cookies when Rick stopped her.
"It's not that. But you have to remember that he is a boy who is becoming a man. Take it easy on the poor guy. Ok?" He gently kissed her on her cheek and proceeded to help her clean up.
"So Rora wants to invite Jaden over Saturday. What do you think of that?" Kate rinsed the dish and set it in the rack and felt Rick go tense beside her.
"I think she is too young to date."
"She knows that. He is just a guy that she likes and it's only dinner. And trust me, I'll be watching them like a hawk." She took off her glasses and ran her fingers through her hair before sitting on the counter top, staring at the timer on the oven.
"I appreciate it. Last batch?"
"Yep. Thank God." Kate stacked the other Tupperware together while the minutes ticked down.
"Hey Mommy?" Aurora stood in her little Betty Boop shorts and tank top with her cell phone stuck in her hand.
"Yes?" Kate replaced her glasses only to take them off once more.
"Jared is kind of, um, how do I say this?" She tapped her phone into her palm before trying to find the right words. "You don't have to worry about him."
"What are you talking about?" Kate played with her glasses while Aurora pondered her words.
"He's gay. So no worries about us dating. I just wanted to make that clear to you. Um, I'll see you when you get up." Aurora turned around and headed upstairs.
Kate let out a big sigh of relief and was followed by Rick. "So much for watching him like a hawk." The timer went off and Rick slid the sheet on the stove.
"They're done." He turned the oven off and stood in front of Kate. "You want to get them to bed?"
"Sure." She slid off the counter and followed him up the stairs. "I want to talk about that case we discussed earlier."
"Later. Over wine."
Kate nodded and headed to Bennett's room first. "Hey B? You need to study for your biology test. Turn off that system." Kate waited for him to do so and then joined him on the edge of his bed. "I'm sorry." He looked at her confused. "I don't mean to be so hard on you it's just, well, I want the best things for you and I feel if I don't push you, you won't reach your full potential."
"I know Mom but trust me that I want the best too. So, before you ask, yes I will be studying when you leave. I love you too."
"Good night B." She kissed the top of his head and ran her hand along his hair. "I love you too."
Kate headed to Aurora next. "Hope you're not texting. I warned you." She flipped off the main light and sat next to her.
"I'm not. I know my limit. By the way, I need new jeans." She tossed her honey hair behind her and turned her phone off.
"What's wrong with all the other new jeans?"
"They're no longer new." She huffed and crossed her arms across her chest.
"They are perfectly fine." She grabbed her head, kissed the top of it, and smiled. "Love you babe."
"Love you too Mommy. Night."
"Night." Kate waved as she clicked off Aurora's lamp light. And when she got to Raelyn's room, she was already fast asleep. But Kate still crept in and kissed her. "Night baby doll. Love you."
"Hey, how are they?" Rick pulled back the covers and slid in.
"Good. But you already knew that." She stuck out her tongue and joined him.
"So about your case?" He flipped off his lamp and was only visible through the light hers allowed.
"Yeah. So it's this big thing and I think I am missing something. But I don't know what exactly." She pulled on the ends of her nightgown before flipping off her light as well.
"Who do you think did it?"
"It feels like too much for one person." She ran her fingers across his chest before retreating.
"Maybe they have help."
And with that, a distant ringing jarred Kate awake. She flipped back the covers and switched the alarm off. She ran her hand through her hair and looked to Rick but he was still sound asleep. And as she showered, Rick's words that she had heard in her dream continued to echo in her mind.
Had help? Could it be that easy? Does this guy have help? When she came back into her bedroom, with a towel wrapped around her, Rick was nowhere to be seen. But she could smell coffee. She padded out of her bedroom and headed right to the kitchen.
"I knew I smelled coffee. When did you get up?" Kate grabbed the steaming mug from Rick's hands and tried not to wake up Alexis.
"About ten minutes after you did. Did you sleep alright?" He grabbed his mug and followed her back to her bedroom.
She didn't want to mention the awesome dream she had had, and has kept having. "Well, I did think of something." She waited till she could close the door after him before finishing. "What if this guy has help?"
Rick sat on the end of her bed and tried not to burn his tongue. "I'm sorry?"
"What if whoever is doing this isn't alone? What if they have help?" She set her coffee on her dresser and walked to her closet.
"Like what? Did they post a want ad?" He laughed at his own joke and was met by a glare. "That was funny and you know it."
"No. What I meant was, maybe he had an apprentice. It isn't something so bizarre. We've seen it before, they train someone to continue their work." Kate flipped past all her dresses and stopped. "Is it supposed to be hot out today?"
"Why?" He was still digesting the apprentice theory and wasn't tuned into what she was currently saying.
"Because I would like to go to work and not be sweating." She grabbed her phone and waited for it to go on before she was able to check the weather.
"Wait. You're gonna go to work? But it's Emery's funeral. You promised that you would go." He stood up and placed his mug beside hers.
"I am. But I still have to let the boys know what I am thinking." She grabbed a pair of red, lace shorts and started to flip through her blouses when there was a knock on her front door.
"I'll get it." Rick rushed out of the room but already caught Alexis stirring. When he opened the door, he let out a quiet sigh. "Come on in Johanna."
Johanna was wearing a simple, purple, spring dress and a pair of black high heels. She slid them off and left them at the door and looked around the living room. When she saw Alexis, she gave her a big smile and let it fade when Alexis didn't return it.
"What has you down in the dumps?" Johanna stood over Alexis and caught the mascara trails on her cheeks. "Why have you been crying?"
"My best friend died. How would you be?" Alexis marched off to the bathroom and ignored the words that trailed her.
"Oh dear. I didn't know." Johanna didn't bother to sit but just stood around looking out of place and out of comfort.
"Kate is getting ready for an appointment. I'll let her know you are here." Rick didn't bother to try to be friendly, he was upset for Kate. When he closed the door after him, he turned to catch Kate with a smile on her face.
"Who was it?" She was busy tucking in her white, buttoned down, blouse into her shorts when she caught his sympathy. "Rick, who is it?" She had a very curt demeanor and it made him sympathize even more.
"Your mom. I'm sorry. If I would have known who it was I would have ignored it." He tried to go to her but she just slumped on her bed. "You have to leave or you'll be late." He joined her on the edge of her bed and placed his palm on her bare knee.
"I'm not ready. Is that too much to ask?" She stood up and sent his hand falling down to the bed. "I have to finish. Tell her that I'll talk to her when I am ready." She slammed the bathroom door after her and he did as he was asked.
Johanna stood there with a big smile on her face which seemed inappropriate with all the sadness and anger that seeped throughout the apartment.
"She said she will talk to you later. She is busy getting ready right now. I'll make sure she calls you." He went to usher her out but Johanna shoved past him and stormed into Kate's bedroom then Kate's bathroom.
"What the?" Kate dropped the hair she had been brushing and turned to Johanna. "I don't want to talk to you right now. Please leave." She went back to her hair and ignored Johanna.
"We need to talk now. I won't be…"
"What ignored? Lied to? Betrayed? Those are all the things you have done to me! I want you to leave me alone!" Kate hadn't meant to raise her voice let alone yell at her but the pent up frustration burst out.
"You make your father out to be such a saint, well he wasn't Kate! He was a broken man!"
"You made him that way! And how dare you talk about dad! You didn't know him!" She smacked her hand into the countertop and knew her face looked scary.
"Of course I did! He was the reason I left! I couldn't take him anymore! I couldn't take lying to you anymore!" Johanna took on the same anger that Kate had.
"Lying to me? You fucking abandoned me! You never loved me! Dad was all I had and he is all I want! Why couldn't I have lost you instead of him?! I know how to live without you!" Kate felt all her anger and sadness rush out of her and felt the impact her words had just left.
Johanna said nothing else but just left. She pushed past Rick and didn't bother apologizing to a torn up Alexis. She slid her shoes on and closed the door after her. Nothing was said more.
Rick walked into the bathroom and caught the look of horror and guilt that occupied Kate. "You didn't mean it, I know you didn't."
"But she doesn't. And what if I did mean it?" She dropped her hair and walked past him, grabbed her phone and purse and headed to the hall closet. She slid on a pair of black and white t-straps and turned to Alexis. "Don't worry I'll be back in time." She grabbed her keys and silently closed the door after her.
"Your glasses should be ready in two days." He closed up his station and ushered Kate to head to the checkout. "You'll be called when they are in. We can do last minute adjustments if it deems necessary."
"Thanks Dr. Feldman." Kate headed to pay for her glasses and couldn't find it in her to return everyone else's smiles. The guilt was covering her like a dark shroud and she feared it would eat at her.
Back in her car, she ignored how she had wanted to head to talk to the boys and felt that Rick was right, a text or call would be fine.
"Hey Kate, what did you gather?" Ryan was roaming around for his notepad when Espo headed up. Ryan mouthed that it was Kate and Espo picked up as well.
"Kate? Shouldn't you be getting ready for a funeral?" He tossed his foam ball in the air and kicked his feet up on his desk. He ignored the stare from Ryan and listened.
"Yes. I am. But I thought of something. What if whoever is doing this isn't working alone? What if they have help? It would explain the randomness." She waited for them to respond before she pulled out.
"You mean like an apprentice?" Ryan jotted it down and Espo dropped his feet.
"You can't be serious Kate."
"Ryan, that's exactly what I mean. Espo, I am very serious. Think about it. I know it sound crazy but really think about it. I have to go. Call me later." She hung up and pulled out of the parking lot feeling a little better than she had before.