21
It wasn't about a woman scorned, it was about trust.
This had always been one of Olivia's struggles.
Protect herself, because she has always been the one to protect herself.
And now, more importantly, protect Noah.
Her dating life, anything that would confuse Noah, hurt him, interrupt his routine, she would do her best to not be the cause.
Her job was to protect her son.
Alex had called, texted, stopped by her apartment…
Olivia wasn't ready to hear why Alex didn't tell her about her dinner with Sydney.
Olivia had explained her insecurities about Sydney.
She was honest.
Alex knew how she felt and she went to dinner with Sydney and felt it not necessary to tell her.
The dinner may not have been a big deal, but Olivia's trust issues were.
Especially her trust issues with Sydney who obvious has ulterior motives.
This was whether Alex liked it or not.
"We play wid Lex tomorrow ok Mama?"
Noah was standing on the bathroom mat in his Minions underwear. Olivia pushed his head through his t-shirt and then went for his right arm before answering.
"I don't think so baby."
"Why not Mama, I luv Lex."
"I know baby. I love her too. But we can't be together… we can't play together all the time."
"Why not?" He asked inquisitively.
"Because Mama said so."
It was a cold answer and Olivia knew the moment she said it out loud, she regretted it.
Noah's bottom lips poked out as he began to sniffle.
Sniffles became tears, tears into a full on wail.
"Noah, sweetheart, I'm sorry. Mama is sorry. I know you don't understand, but we can't see Alex right now."
"Pease Mama!"
Noah was becoming inconsolable.
Olivia picked Noah up holding him in her arms, trying to soothe him.
"Shhh shh shh, it's ok, it's ok.
Noah finally had stopped crying and buried his face into his mother's neck. His tears stain her own t-shirt.
"Let's get you in you into bed, sweet boy and mama will ready you two stories tonight, ok?"
Olivia felt his head nod in agreement.
Olivia snuggled with Noah in his 'big boy bed' and read to him until his tears were dry and he was fast asleep.
"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry to disappoint you," Olivia said with one last kiss to Noah's forehead.
AOAOAOAOAOAO
Olivia had poured herself a glass of wine, only to leave it sitting on the kitchen counter.
She busied herself picking up Noah's toys, she even cleaned out the fridge.
She gave in.
She told herself a shower would do her good, then she would fall asleep reading.
But Olivia stood in the shower and cried.
She went from rational to irrational.
Spending the day being a Lieutenant, head of her squad, didn't allow her to dwell on what was going on in her personal life. But coming home to her son, making him cry now had her standing in the shower crying.
Over Noah, over Alex, over her issues.
Olivia wiped her tears and washed her hair.
AOAOAOAOAOAOAO
Alex debated.
She was pissed.
Pissed at Sydney, pissed at Olivia, pissed at herself.
She had done everything but stalk Olivia the past few days.
She had held off calling or seeing Sydney.
She couldn't eloquently get past the 'what the fuck" question and then yelling back anything that would resolve the issue.
What the fuck was the issue?
Olivia had trust issues, issues with promises of love that weren't kept, and Sydney was just the person to play on all of those issues and insecurities.
"It was just dinner!" Alex said out loud in her empty living room. "Fuck it all," she then grumbled, instantly regretting her words as she looked over to see a picture of she, Olivia and Noah, taken in front of the docked boats on Martha's Vineyard.
Her arm wrapped around Olivia's waist, holding her close, Noah squished between the two of them, perched on Olivia's hip, his arm over Alex's shoulder.
The only things she had wanted and everything she never knew she wanted right there in that picture.
They looked like a family.
"This can't happen. I can't lose her again."
Alex sorted through a stack of mail she had ignored the past few days.
A padded envelope stuck out of the pile.
Henry, one of the evening doormen had stopped her coming in the night before, telling her someone had dropped the envelope off for her.
Lost in her thoughts, she piled it with the rest of the unopened mail.
Alex sat down at her kitchen counter.
Glass of wine half gone.
"Alexandra Cabot" was written in an almost un-legible handwriting on the front of the large envelope.
Alex pulled the envelope open, careful to what she might find.
She pulled out photographs.
Photos of herself, clothed enough to still be considered tasteful.
"Jesus Sydney! What the fuck are you doing?" Alex said combing through the photos again and again. "Olivia's been right all along…"
Alex jumped up from the counter searching for where she had left her phone.
She paced back and forth waiting for the phone to connect and for the first ring, and then the second…
"You've reached Sydney Harper, I'm unavailable at the moment…"
Alex took a deep breath so her voice would be even and tempered.
"Sydney, it's Alex. We need to talk."
And she hung up the phone.