Filler and episode tag for "Missing." Part 1.

Part 2 should be up in a day or two.

"Defenseless – Part I"

"I'll get it for you."

"Yeah? How?"

"Let me shadow him for a couple of days. If he's got a screw loose, I'll know it. It might lead us to Atlas." Tony was almost desperate. He knew he was on very thin ice with Gibbs and it was getting thinner by the day. His recent screw-up with Voss was still an open wound and, though both he and his coworkers had meticulously avoided referring to the incident since that night, he knew no one had forgotten about it.

Now, he and Kate had worked all night trying to find a lead on Sergeant Atlas but had been able to obtain nothing of value. Gibbs had just verbalized his disappointment, though he'd been making it known already loud and clear over the course of the past twenty-four hours. Tony had been screamed at multiple times, made to puke (again) by Gibbs' reckless driving, had his drink snatched right out of his hand and thrown out the window, and even been threatened with shooting.

But now he saw an opportunity. If he could get something substantial on Sacco, their prime suspect in Atlas' disappearance, it could turn everything around and put him back in the boss' good graces. And if he could find Atlas, well, that might even be good enough to wipe out the unpleasant memory of the mess he'd made of his last assignment. Maybe it shouldn't mean this much to him, but recently he'd felt an irrational need for affirmation. His old fear of becoming unnecessary and irrelevant to the team had reared its ugly head again on the last case, aggravated by Agent McGee's increased presence recently . A presence that had, ironically, been his own idea to begin with.

He and Kate had suggested simply bringing in Major Sacco for questioning, but for some reason Gibbs had shot that one down. So, Tony suggested trailing the man. It would serve two purposes: hopefully giving them something to go on in locating Atlas, and getting him out of Gibbs' hair for a while. Because otherwise, Gibbs was either going to fire him or make good on his threat to shoot him.

Gibbs considered Agent DiNozzo's request for a moment as several different lines of thought converged in his mind. First, that their Marine was quickly running out of time and they still had no idea as to his whereabouts. Second, that he didn't like the idea of sending one of his agents to tail a potentially crazed serial killer without backup. Third, that the last time he'd turned down a request like this from Tony, the younger man had defied him and almost ended up getting himself killed. He didn't think his agent would be so foolish a second time, yet, he'd also noted an increased amount of insecurity coming from the other man, particularly since that last incident. Maybe a show of confidence from Gibbs would quell those doubts. Finally, some separation between himself and Tony would not be such a bad thing. The more anxious Gibbs had become over finding Sergeant Atlas, the more he'd noticed his tendency to take out his frustration on Tony. He didn't know what it was about DiNozzo, but sometimes it almost seemed he invited Gibbs' wrath intentionally.

"Alright."

His abrupt answer didn't seem to register right away with DiNozzo. "Listen, Boss, I'm telling you it beats sitting around here doing nothing. If I'm out there trying to find him…"

Kate interjected. "He said 'ok' Tony."

A look of disbelief passed briefly over the younger man's face, though he tried to pass it off as hearing loss due to the bomb blast they'd been close to yesterday. Gibbs could tell he was pleased, even excited. But he felt a brief twinge in his gut. Of course, his gut had been going nuts lately, so it was probably nothing. Still, he'd felt the need instruct Tony to call in every hour, adding, "You forget one time, call in late, don't bother coming back."

In a few hours those words would come back to haunt him in a way he'd never imagined.

Gibbs' conversation with Abby earlier had left him feeling even more unsettled than before. He knew he'd gotten defensive with her when she'd questioned the wisdom of sending Tony off to tail Sacco without backup. "He can take care of himself."

Can he? If a Marine like Atlas couldn't protect himself from the threat that was out there, could Tony fare any better? Tony was an excellent agent, but not indestructible. And he was a trouble magnet.

It wasn't time for Tony's check-in yet, but Gibbs found himself calling him anyway, checking on Tony's progress. Sacco was pulling into the same bar Atlas had disappeared from.

This might be exactly the break we need.

Even so, he couldn't help reminding Tony to watch his six.

This is it. Sacco's leaving and I'll just bet he's about to lead me straight to Atlas. Tony had to scramble to keep the other man from making him, but he was pretty certain he'd succeeded. He rushed out to the alley to catch up with Sacco while calling Gibbs. He felt the familiar rush of adrenaline. I've got you now.

"Sacco just left the bar…" Suddenly Tony was dizzy and weak. A horrible realization came over him. Bron. He'd had a few glasses of ginger ale at the bar without even thinking. And the first thought that popped into his head was that he'd just blown it again. He'd let Sacco get the better of him. Gibbs is gonna be so pissed at me.

"I think I screwed up Boss…"

"Tony! DiNozzo! Are you there? Can you hear me?" Gibbs knew it was useless. He'd heard Tony, and his phone, hit the ground. He knew with a reasonable degree of certainty what had just happened to his agent. Still, he'd continued calling out the younger man's name hoping for…something. A miracle?

"Gibbs? What's wrong?" Kate was standing in front of him looking as frightened as he'd ever seen her. She had heard him telling Tony "We're coming for you," and knew immediately that it must be bad.

"Hammersmith Country Bar. He's got Tony."

One thought made its way to the forefront of his mind.

The third thing.

Gibbs was driving as fast as he could get away with. Kate was sitting stoically in the passenger seat. Neither of them spoke.

This is my fault. I never should have let him go alone. I knew it was a bad idea. Even Abby knew it was a bad idea.

He imagined of all sorts of scenarios, every one of them horrible. Tony could already be dead.

No, that's not acceptable. He doesn't have my permission to die.

I can't live with that.

Ok, so Tony wasn't dead. He refused to even entertain the possibility, so that meant it wasn't so. And he wouldn't let anyone else consider the possibility either. They were operating on the assumption that Tony was still alive and they just needed to find him.

He must've been so scared. Gibbs could hear the fear in the other man's voice. "I think I screwed up, Boss…"

Why would he say that? Of all things. Why not, "I'm in trouble, Boss" or "Help me, Boss."? The first thing he could think of to say to me was that he screwed up? He thinks I'm going to be angry with him? I'm the idiot that sent him out there.

This one's on me, Tony. I'll make sure you know that. As soon as I find you.

It was 2am, but the MCRT was still bustling with activity. McGee and Abby had been working nonstop trying to find something, anything, to help locate their missing colleague. They'd been sharing an uneasy silence, neither knowing what to say, though finding some measure of comfort in each others' presence.

Kate had wandered into Abby's lab. "You guys find anything?"

"No," Abby responded dejectedly. "You?"

"No," Kate sighed. "And I'm worried about Gibbs. He's barely spoken since we got back from the bar."

"That's Gibbs. The more worried he gets, the less he speaks. Except to get angry."

"I think he's blaming himself."

"Maybe he should." It wasn't like Abby to be unsupportive of Gibbs, but she couldn't help remembering her own warnings to him earlier which he'd dismissed. And he'd been pretty horrible to Tony lately. Abby wasn't feeling full of sympathy at the present moment.

"Tony volunteered to follow Sacco. Gibbs just agreed to it. Don't you think you're being a little hard on Gibbs?"

"If Tony volunteered, it was because he tries a little too hard to impress Gibbs. Gibbs is the one in charge. He should've known better. He should've protected Tony."

I should've protected him. That was my first priority. You don't send one of your agents into a dangerous situation without backup. Gibbs was sitting in the darkened bullpen. He supposed Kate had found some place to go for a while to get away from him. He couldn't blame her.

He was staring at Tony's desk. It's so quiet when he's not here. He'd give anything to hear Tony babbling about something right about now. A movie. His last date. Rush hour. "Shut up and sit there before I shoot you out." Another thoughtless comment he couldn't take back.

He'd made so many of them recently. Starting with letting Tony think he'd wanted them to stay out of each other's personal business. Things had just gone downhill from there. He had let it spiral out of control while he'd concentrated on chasing down a multitude of other things: their terrorist, Pacci's killer, Atlas, Sacco. He'd allowed things to stay broken, thinking he'd have plenty of time later. But there was always some new crisis.

And now Tony's the crisis. And I may never get another chance.

The smell was the first thing Tony noticed. Then the headache. Finally, he sensed the presence of another person and slowly opened his eyes.

Well, he'd found Atlas at least. "Welcome to Hell."

He sat up very gingerly. "Gunnery Sergeant Atlas?"

"How do you know who I am?"

Tony was still trying to get his bearings. They must be in the sewer system somewhere, judging by the smell. And he had a five-o-clock shadow, so he'd been out for a while. "NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. We've been looking for you."

"I don't guess this is how you meant to find me, Agent DiNozzo."

"It wasn't part of the plan, no. But don't worry. My boss is looking for us. Nobody crosses Leroy Jethro Gibbs and gets away with it."

It was true, right? Gibbs has to be looking for me. Or at least he's still looking for Atlas. And I'm with Atlas. So that means eventually he'll find us both.

Still there was uncertainty in the back of his mind. It was made worse when he spotted the human remains they were sharing their space with. One of our other Marines who went missing. He wondered if anyone even missed that person anymore. This has been going on for eight years.

He'd been a detective. He'd worked missing persons cases plenty of times before. If they don't get solved quickly, something else comes up to take precedence. The case becomes a cold case. He'd spouted off the statistics to Gibbs just a couple of days ago. After four days the chances of finding a missing person alive are very low.

He suddenly had this vision of Agent McGee sitting at his desk. Kate teasing him. Gibbs coming up behind him and slapping the back of his head. Would they even miss me in a year? If they didn't miss me, who would?

He was almost seized with panic. I can't sit here and wait. I've got to find a way to get us out of here.

The first thing he had noticed about Tony had been his eyes.

When Tony had finally gotten the upper hand on "Vanessa" and he and Kate had shone their flashlights on them to get a better view, he'd immediately been drawn to Tony's eyes. He'd never seen them so wide with fear before. He was used to a confident Tony, or a determined Tony. They'd been through some stressful things lately. There was a hostage situation in Columbia where Tony and Kate had to take down their suspect. Then the hostage situation at NCIS. Tony had been nervous in both situations. But he'd never seen this particular expression before.

They kept their weapons trained on Vanessa long enough for Kate to draw her away from Tony, cuff her, and read her her rights. Other law enforcement personnel were now entering the sewer and the paramedics were on their way. Unfortunately, too late for Major Sacco. Gibbs checked him for a pulse, but he knew already that it was an exercise in futility.

Tony hadn't moved from where he was standing in front of Sergeant Atlas. Gibbs looked him over carefully. Physically, he was dirty and a little scratched up, but seemed relatively unharmed. Gibbs then turned his attention to Atlas. "You okay, Gunny?"

"I think so. But really weak and I don't think I can walk."

"That's ok. Paramedics are on their way. They'll take care of you. Anyone we can call for you in the meantime?"

"Uh…" He thought about Carol Powers but was afraid her husband might find out.

"Carol Powers?"

"You know?"

"She was a suspect, actually. But she was genuinely worried about you. I'll let her know."

"Thanks. Are you Gibbs? Your agent here spoke very highly of you." Tony was still standing there and Gibbs noted he was looking sort of dazed. "He's a brave young man. You should be very proud."

Gibbs didn't have time to respond as the paramedics finally arrived and there was a flurry of activity around Atlas and Major Sacco.

"Tony? You need to have them take a look at you, too."

"No, I'm fine. Please, Boss." DiNozzo seemed to have developed an aversion to the emergency room recently.

"Just let them look you over…."

"I'm fine. I'll see Ducky."

Gibbs sighed. He did seem ok. Physically. But something was off. Way off.

"First place you go when we get back is to see Ducky. Before you even take a shower. You got it?"

"Agreed." The relief on the younger man's face was clearly visible.

Agent McGee was so relieved to see Tony standing in front of him that Gibbs' attempt at a joke had passed right over his head. Unfortunately, the expression Gibbs caught on DiNozzo's face indicated that he didn't quite take the joke as intended either.

"Tony! You're ok!" Then McGee realized he was sitting at Tony's desk and started his usual nervous stammering. "Uh…oh gosh I'm in your chair…I'm so sorry….I'll just, uh….get out of your way here. Give me just a second."

Tony stared at McGee for a moment. "No that's ok, McGee. You can stay there. I'm just….gonna take a shower." Tony went over to his cabinet and opened the drawer where he kept a change of clothes.

"DiNozzo? Forgetting something?" Gibbs was watching Tony carefully. All kinds of alarms were going off in his head.

"Boss?"

"Ducky? You see Ducky first before the shower. Remember? We talked about this."

Tony was frowning at him as if he was trying to remember. While it wouldn't be unlike Tony to feign ignorance to get out of seeing the ME, Gibbs was convinced he truly didn't remember their earlier conversation. "Ducky. Right, Boss." Tony wandered over in the direction of the elevator with three sets of eyes following him.

McGee had stood up to leave, but now asked, "Is he ok?"

Gibbs was still staring after Tony, so Kate interceded. "We'll keep an eye on him, McGee. You can go. Thanks for all of your help."

Gibbs picked up the phone to call Ducky.

"Jethro? Are you back with Anthony?"

"On his way down to see you. Something's wrong."

"Is he injured?"

"No. I don't think so. But he's acting funny."

"I'm afraid I need a bit more to go on than that. What has he done specifically?"

Gibbs wasn't even certain how to describe it. "He's quiet. Didn't want to let the paramedic look at him. Didn't even remember he agreed to go see you as soon as we got back to the office. And in the elevator he…" Did he want to tell Ducky about Tony's strange behavior in the elevator? Would it embarrass the younger man?

"Go on, Jethro. I need to know everything. What occurred in the elevator?"

"He practically begged me to admit I was worried about him. And it was in front of Kate. I tried to make a joke out of it, thinking maybe he was kidding. You know how he is. But I think he was serious. He said something strange when we first found him, too. He asked me what I was doing there. Why would he wonder what I was doing there? Could it be the drug?"

"It's possible some of the drug is still in his system. And he's been through quite an ordeal. It's likely nothing to worry about, but I will observe him closely, I assure you."

"Thanks, Duck." When Gibbs hung up the phone, he realized Kate had been listening to his entire conversation.

"You're really worried about him." It was a statement, not a question.

"It'll be fine Agent Todd. Go home, get some sleep. You've pulled two all-nighters. I'll take care of it."

She started to say something else but thought better of it. What could she do? Gibbs knew Tony much better than she did.

But she had to admit that she'd never have realized how relieved she would be to have her partner back.

Gibbs was probably right. Tony would be back to going through her purse and listening in on her phone calls in no time.

Tony had never been so happy to see a shower in his life. He thought his visit with Ducky would never end.

The physical examination hadn't taken all that long. Tony just had some scrapes and bruises, nothing serious. But he'd felt very uncomfortable under the ME's intense gaze. Ducky kept asking him question after question. All he wanted to do was take a shower to wash away the stench of the sewer.

Finally, he felt the water wash over him. He started scrubbing furiously, the smell of the sewer and the decayed human remains assaulting his senses.

If only he could wash away the memory, too.

"Anthony's in the showers. Poor young man could hardly wait to get there. "

"And? What did you think?"

"I think the memory problem is likely a combination of exhaustion and some after-effects of the drug."

"Was he acting strange to you?"

"Somewhat unusual for Anthony, but I would be surprised if he'd been his usual self after the ordeal he's been through in the last twenty-four hours. I think you'd agree that much of the version of Anthony we see on a daily basis is a rather well-rehearsed façade. I believe his behavior is simply a weakening of his usual defenses due to exhaustion and stress. Perhaps he is simply being more open about what he is feeling than he would be comfortable with under normal circumstances. However, I would like to make the suggestion that he not be sent home by himself just yet. It would be advisable to have someone nearby until we are certain the effects of the drug have worn off. And I don't feel he's in any condition to drive. "

"I'll bring him home with me. Not sure he's gonna like it though."

"Jethro, if I might make one more suggestion."

"I need all the help I can get."

"Yes, well, I was simply thinking that this could be an opportunity for you to clear the air with Anthony, should there be anything you've been meaning to discuss with him. But I strongly advise you to leave your temper at the door. He is rather vulnerable at the moment."

"Yeah, I noticed, Duck. Believe me, I noticed."

Tony had been in the shower for an unusually long time, and Gibbs was beginning to worry. He'd put off going in after him as long as he could, but he was too concerned to put it off any longer.

He walked into the locker room and called out. "Tony? You okay?"

Have I been in here that long? Tony was suddenly jolted back to reality. "Boss? Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Didn't mean to stay in here so long. Sorry."

"It's ok, Tony. Take your time. Need to see you before you leave though."

Tony flashed back to his last conversation with Gibbs. "I think I screwed up, Boss."

Tony had changed into a pair of jeans and an Ohio State t-shirt. His hair was still wet and spiky. The bruise on his arm was now a nasty shade of purple and he had a couple of visible scrapes. But the dirt was gone and he'd finally washed away the stench. It was a smell he was certain he would never forget.

"Boss? Look, I know I screwed up. I should never have ordered anything to drink at the bar. It was a stupid thing to do and…"

"You think you're in trouble?" Gibbs was startled by the sight of Tony. In his casual clothes, with his hair wet and the new haircut he'd been sporting the last few days, it struck the older man just how young his agent looked. It didn't help that he was still wearing the shell-shocked, wide-eyed expression he'd had since they'd found him.

"Am I?"

"No, Tony. Not at all. I wanted to tell you that Ducky suggested that you have someone with you tonight. Just in case. There's still some of that drug in your system. You can sleep in my guest room."

Gibbs didn't miss the fact that Tony looked fearful at the thought of coming home with him. "Is that necessary? I feel fine."

I doubt that. "Yeah, Tony, I think it is. Just for tonight. You feel better tomorrow, you can go back home." Sensing Tony's hesitation he added, "Not a big deal, Tony. You've stayed with me before."

It seemed like ages ago that he'd stayed with Gibbs and even felt comfortable there. He could scarcely believe how much things had changed in the past few months. There was no point in arguing with Gibbs. He didn't think he was up for it right now anyway. I'll just sleep there for a few hours, convince him I'm really fine, and then I'll go home.

"Sure, Boss."

Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief. Then he realized it had been too easy.

He's not fine. Far from it.

To be continued….