"Goddamnit, man!"

The rest of the Titans ventured through another tunnel, only to be lost once more. Every which one of them were identical, as if they were going to the same pathway over and over again.

"We're goin' around in circles! This isn't helpin' us go through!"

"Then we must fight our way through!"

Starfire's hands burst abright with green. With a growl of righteous fury, she punched a rock wall. The boys, including Batman, looked on, impressed and scared all at the same time.

A hole was created by the impact. Cyborg clicked on his shoulder flashlight to look. This time, a new path was set before them. Robin also looked, saw the coast was clear and said,

"Let's go!"

They didn't get far enough.

Suddenly, flying cards zipped around them. Robin yelled,

"DUCK!"

Everyone did so. Robin knew, from personal experience, how poisonous those cards were. He sneaked his hand into his utility belt and threw explosive disks at the cards expertly. Cyborg used his cannon. Starfire utilized her eyes as lasers.

Batman, on the other hand, was scanning the hole. He nudged at Robin and said,

"We've got company."

There were clowns—the same clowns that just ran away earlier from the fray—standing in stilts, appearing a lot taller than they were. This time, they didn't have any outrageous clown arsenal. They all had guns, ranging from pistols to semi-automatics.

They didn't hesitate to shoot. Robin, meanwhile, didn't hesitate to charge.

"Titans, GO!"

She opened up the container. I didn't even let her finish. My hands reacted before I could stop them. I immediately grabbed the container and devoured the tofu.

"Beast boy!"

I stopped. Chewed a mouthful as she said,

"Slow down..."

I started chewing slowly and steadily. I swallowed it down, my stomach allayed. I took out a smaller piece and ate. I simply ate in silence. We sat in silence, not really knowing what else to do.

Then,

"You said... you wanted me to... help you find you."

I stopped eating, slowly tilted my head up to meet her eyes, which were welling up with tears. I forced myself to look, forced myself to see the pain I'm causing.

"Why?"

She seemed desperate for an answer. The voice that came out of my mouth was not even my own. It was flat, devoid of emotion.

"Because I don't think... I... I'm not a good person."

She glanced at me in disbelief.

"You're a hero! You saved people!"

She scooted closer to me, grabbed my shoulders so I wouldn't turn away.

"You saved me! Remember?"

I shook my head at that.

"I was nearly out of control."

"If it weren't for that part of you, I wouldn't be here."

"And if it weren't for that part of me, I... I wouldn't want to..."

The reality of my own broken mind came out.

"I wouldn't want to kill myself as badly as I want to do right now."

She let her hands drop. She seemed to completely break within. She cried quietly to herself.

I felt dead. The words kept tumbling, my pain rolling down out of my tongue as I grabbed for the water bottle, roughly turning the cap off.

"It's just... He broke me... He reminded me of... of what I was... what I was capable of doing... told me that... I had no hope and he's... he's right."

The water quenched my thirst. It didn't cleanse me.

"I'm not worth saving."

She grabbed my shirt, made me look at her. Her face had tears running down but there was ferocity in her eyes. She almost snarled at me as she said,

"You keep telling yourself that. You keep telling yourself such... lies, because that what they are. Lies! And this kills me, because I used to say such bullshit, you know? I used to tell myself "This is prophecy," or "Me, destroying myself, the world, letting my father take over, its inevitable; I can't win." But you..."

She grabbed my face. I was breathing hard, not knowing how else to escape yet not wanting to. The flies dropped to the floor, dying. The buzzing was fading.

She continued,

"You gave me hope. You didn't just save me from Adonis, Beast boy. When Malchior... when he broke my trust, my heart, everything... I thought I was worthless. I thought the same thing. "Just end it. No one cares about you." But you... you saved me."

She was crying now.

"You told me I'm not alone. I've always thought that. Granted, when you're told your're a portal that allows destruction in this world, you convince yourself you're not worth it. But you refused to give up on me."

The question hit the deepest parts of myself.

"So why are you giving up on yourself?"

I only stared, dumbfounded. It felt like forever, just staring, both of us, crying.

Why am I giving up?

"Because some people, Raven... some people... are just too damaged."

She shook her head at me and said,

"Then I guess you and I are just... broken."

"I thought you said you aren't."

"I wasn't... until I saw... him..."

She sobbed, covering her mouth with her hands, wiping her face and said,

"You seem to forget, Beast boy, that I'm a part of you. If you break, I break."

The shots were loud, whizzing past them. They were all in hiding, behind stalactites. Cyborg's sonic cannon blasts, along with the clowns throwing buzzers serving as explosives, had caused them to fall.

"Can't risk using my cannon too much," he said. "I don't want y'all to be casualties in this."

"Jesus!"

Robin threw another disk, another bird-a-rang. It seemed to have no effect on the clowns.

"We're losing," Batman stated.

"No shit," Robin gritted his teeth. Batman glared at him, but chose to ignore the comment.

"Then what must we do?" Starfire said.

"We wait," Robin answered, rather grimly.

"For what?! Death?!"

Cyborg threw a rock at a clown, knocking him down from his stilts.

"'Cause that seems like a real certainty, man!"

"No..."

Robin looked up. The stalactites kept rumbling. They seemed very loose at this point.

"We run..."

She took the water bottle from my hands and wet the tip of her cloak with it. She used her cloak to wipe out dry blood on my face.

"But you know what I learned? That every bad thing that happens... it's not permanent."

As she gently dabbed away the red stains on my face, she said,

"You don't have to let... suffering... and pain be your lot. You have... this team... fighting for you right now."

My ears perked up at that.

"What?"

She nodded.

"They're going to take the Joker down."

"Cyborg!"

He turned his head at Robin. Excitedly he asked,

"You have an idea?"

Robin pointed up. Cyborg looked. His face contorted into terror.

"I don't know, Rob. They're really unstable. One blast and—"

"That's the point."

Cyborg's eye widened. Robin held up his hand to explain.

"They can serve as barriers."

Cyborg then understood what he meant. The stalactites falling would hinder the clowns' attack. His left arm mechanized. He pointed upward, right were the clowns were shooting.

The sonic blue ball lit up, brighter and brighter.

Cyborg shrieked, "BOO-YAAA!"

The blast hit the rock ceiling. The Titans ran or flew to the opposite direction, away from the clowns.

An explosion of red dust and boulders fell. The clowns' reactions were immediate. Some receded into the darkness. Others were overtaken by the falling stalactites. And others continued to shoot till there was no more ammunition left to shoot with.

A realization hit me as she said this.

"No..."

She stopped wiping. Looked at me, startled.

"What?"

I raise up to my feet, my eyes widening. The flies are dead.

"No! No, this is my fight."

"Beast boy—"

"I'm the one who's responsible. I'm the one who should—"

"You need to rest."

"No!"

I backed off, my hands raised up, pushing her off.

"I don't need saving. I'm not here to be saved. I'm here... to save you. All of you. This is my fight. This was my choice."

"He forced you into this."

"No..." I said. "The flies are gone."

"What flies?"

"The flies! The buzzing! The—"

I stopped, realizing what happened. I looked at her, as I then started to recall past events: me slowly losing my mind, Raven trying to get through, me scaring her, me almost killing myself, Raven holding me down, Robin trying to help me, everybody failing, everybody leaving, Raven trying to help me, gazing into my mind, breaking, hoping, praying for safety, suddenly, now:

"Did I... I lost it."

She nodded. I looked down, ashamed of what I've done.

"I'm sorry."

"No."

"I wasn't... I wasn't thinking straight... just... the pain... what he did... it almost... I almost—"

"I get it."

She walked up. She hugged me. I responded, hugging her just as tightly.

"You saved my life. Twice."

I felt her head move. She only nodded.

"I owe you big time."

"You don't owe me anything."

A silence passed on. A full minute.

Then,

"Um... Raven?"

"Hmm?"

"You're still huggin' me."

"Don't push it."

We both chuckled. She broke the hug, a small smile on her face. I expected something to break.

Nothing.

"Guess you... finally managed to control your powers."

She shrugged her shoulders, somewhat sheepish, and said,

"I honestly don't know how."

"Maybe you're... too busy trying to get through my mind to worry about... losing control."

"Perhaps."

Thanks to my ears, I heard a rumbling sound. I knew they were explosives. Clowns screaming. The Titans were running. They were struggling. My family was struggling.

"Raven, I need to go."

"What?"

"Now."

"Beast boy—"

I ignore her and run to the dark hallway. I hear her footsteps as I run off, into the labyrinth of dangerous passages and abandoned tunnels. I stop, trying to hear the fray. I could hear every detail. I immediately know where to go.

Not to the fight. To his lair.

I turn to her and said,

"I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of laying down and letting him use and abuse me. This is the end. This is going to be over. And this time, I am not letting him win!"

I sigh, look down, at my blood-stained boots. Blue boots appear. She's near me now. Holds my cheeks. In spite of them being healed, I felt the scarring on them. She lifts my face up to hers and tried to kiss me.

I push her gently.

"No..."

She immediately looked hurt.

"Beast boy, why are you..."

I shook my head, my heart breaking when I said,

"I'm just... I'm too torn... for love..."

My voice cracks, a sob comes out.

"I'm... so sorry... I'm just... dirty."

Raven shook her head at me and said,

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know."

"And you're not really believing that."

"I know that, too."

"And I still love you."

I gulped down, my heart swelling with joy, with sorrow, with unconditional love for this girl.

"So do I."

The statement kills me:

"But you have to let me go."

She grabs her cloak, wraps it around her, cries silently. I immediately hug her, saying,

"Just this one time. I promise. Let me go. So I can finish."

She embraced me tightly. Kissed my right cheek. I felt myself blush. She said softly,

"Please... let me help."

I shook my head. Decided to settle the score. I broke the hug, but still held her arms gently.

"You kept telling me "There's a way to be good again.""

"Right."

"I have another one: "A boy who can't stand up for himself becomes a man who can't stand up for anything.""

Raven smiled, a wide smile of pride and happiness. She then kissed my left cheek.

"From Baba."

I nodded.

"Let me stand up for myself. I promise, whatever happens, I'm the one who's coming back out alive."

Her smile immediately fell.

"What do you mean?"

My eyes darkened at the implication. To me, he'd become irredeemable. There's no longer a buzzing sound inside my ears. They were being overtaken by a growl.

"Beast boy..."

"Let me go."

"Please..."

"Raven..."

The voice that came out was a snarl. She did as told, looked at me, rattled. I sighed again, calming down.

"I want to let you know... I love you."

I pointed to the central tunnel, where the fight was at. My mind did the talking.

'Go. Robin needs you.'

She nodded, whispered out, "Be safe."

I ran to the source of the sound. His cackle, that used to frighten me, no longer does. My fear has faded.

I told her as I sprinted,

"Help Robin! Tell him I'll get this over with!"

As I left the girl I love, I hear her wishing, begging, in my head,

Please... be safe.

My mind reverberates,

'I promise, Rae. I promise.'