Part 21 – Shit

Mina generally thought of fate as a stupid ape: it flung handfuls of shit around for no reason, with no regard to where they would land or the stinking messes they'd leave.

And June 1976 was one of the shittiest examples on record.

The month held little hope; that much was apparent right from the beginning. OWLs loomed threateningly, due to start on Monday the 7th, and the entire fifth year had fallen into the grip of frenzied cramming. Not even the Marauders were immune to the effects.

Remus over-studied his arse off and (on the rare occasions he was seen outside the library) only spoke to the others to "strongly encourage" them to do the same. Peter panicked and convinced himself that he would fail everything, constantly begging for help with tears in his eyes.

The others didn't get hit quite as badly, but they did have to devote more time than usual to homework and reading. Which in Sirius and James's case meant that they had to actually do both. Mina gave up weed and took to studying during the day as well as when she couldn't sleep.

"Fuck this fucking bullshit subject!" she snarled, hurling her Potions book against the wall so hard that the abused text finally exploded in a cascade of loose pages.

Sirius sighed, slung his arm around her shoulders and soothed, "I know, love."

She pushed him away. "Don't fucking patronize me, you fucking prick!" the girl shouted, earning the librarian's most scandalized shhhhhh.

The saddest pout in Sirius's repertoire.

Mina immediately felt horrible. "Sorry," she grumbled, squeezing her boyfriend's hand.

He shrugged and fixed her book with a lazy wand wave. "It's not your fault," Sirius argued, "Nothing good ever comes from studying. How many times have I said that?"

"Every time we study," murmured James, inexplicably sprawled face-down on top of the table, "So... twice?"

Sirius looked like he was going to thwap the lad on the back of the head but, after thinking for a moment, decided, "Ya, that's about right."

"I hate you both," complained Mina.

"You're just as brilliant," James muttered into the tabletop, "But you've also unfortunately inherited Moony's crazy nerd gene."

"Have not."

"Have so."

"Have not."

"Have so."

"Have not."

"Have so."

With a strangled groan, Sirius interrupted, "Can we please switch to a more interesting argument?"

James snorted. "Like when you're going to quit smearing engine grease all over everything in our room?"

"Just like that," Sirius announced brightly, "But not that. Maybe something to do with the frightening state of Wormtail's back hair?"

"Nothing to argue about there," Mina pointed out, "We all agree it's disgusting, but the little rat always manages to wriggle away when I try to wax him."

Sirius patted her hand, getting dangerously close to patronizing again as he declared, "I'm sure you'll succeed someday soon, Sunshine."

"And then you can write a book about your experiences," James excitedly contributed. He turned his head and grinned, ridiculous jet hair a puddle spilling over the tome he was using as a pillow. "You'll be a rich, famous author, and you won't have to worry about OWL scores at all."

Mina smiled, liking the sound of that plan. "I'll call it Waxing Wormtail: a Tale of Triumph."

"That's absolutely absurd," Evans remarked. Somehow, she'd once again managed to use her creepy ginger ninja powers to approach completely unnoticed.

James cursed, immediately trying to restore himself to a more respectable position; the only thing he managed to do was roll off the table and roughly onto the floor.

Ignoring her friend's exaggerated wails of agony, Mina drawled, "Apparently I've been too subtle in expressing how little I care about your opinions."

Evans rolled her eyes. "Like you're capable of being subtle," she declared, "Hagrid wants to see us right away. He sent word that it's urgent."

"STUDY BREAK!" cried Sirius. With one powerful swing of his arms, he swept the table clean of books and parchments. Then the lad jumped to his feet, threw Mina over his shoulder, and sprinted out of the library.

Mina had never been more glad that she'd switched to wearing trousers.

xxXxx

By the time the group arrived at the unicorn paddock, Firenze was already packed and ready to leave. Buttercup and Sailor were only still there because the young centaur had spent nearly an hour begging his mother to wait to release them back into the wild.

"Please," the pale teenager insisted, actually standing in the way of the gate, "It will just be a few more minutes. And it will mean a lot to them."

Several heads taller and several shades darker, the bare-chested female centaur (Mina remembered that her name was Elda) glared icily down at her son. She stamped her hooves, impatient, and drawled, "You forget yourself, child. This time with the humans has obviously taught you nothing of use."

"Says you, bitch," growled Mina. She dashed past and vaulted over the fence with well-practiced ease.

Sailor ran right over, spooked but eager as always to see her. He'd grown so much in the past weeks, golden and lanky, finally steady but still kind of goofy on his skinny legs.

Mina threw her arms around his little neck, hugged him hard and did her best to fight back the unexpected wave of tears.

She failed spectacularly.

Later, she couldn't help feeling humiliated. It wasn't exactly dignified, blubbering like that out where everyone could see. But at the time, all that mattered was the fact that her friends were being taken away.

Not that she was really paying attention, but the next thing Mina remembered hearing was hoof beats venturing closer. An unfamiliar hand rested on her shoulder.

"Child," Elda said, much softer and sweeter than before, "I know you love this animal. But he must be free."

"Of course I know," Mina replied, "I knew from the start. Doesn't mean I'm not sad that I'll never see them again." She sniffled, wiping her eyes and nose on her arm. "Could you just fuck off for a moment?"

The centaur gave a surprising laugh. "For someone with so much Sight," she said, "You are surprisingly blind."

Mina really didn't understand what the spooky bitch (mare?) was talking about. Instead, the young woman declared, "Merlin's mangy merkin, this is bad enough without your asinine chatter."

Elda stared like she was staring right through Mina. The centaur shook her head, quietly remarking, "Such a complex creature."

"Name-calling is not a good idea," said Mina, "I always win. Don't you have some sugar cubes to eat or an enormous, awkwardly timed shit to take?"

That comment got the desired reaction: Elda huffed and stamped away, scandalized.

Mina stroked Sailor's mane, doing her best to memorize his scent. Maybe someday she would get lucky and find him in the forest...

Sirius was the one who finally managed to talk her away from Sailor. He put his arm around her, let the girl hide her face against his chest.

She pulled herself together quickly after that, already smudging her puffy eyes dry as she approached Firenze.

"See you around, Ponyboy," Mina laughed, "Feel free to visit."

They shared watery smiles, and Firenze replied, "Don't worry. Our paths will cross again."

xxXxx

So, ya, June started off bad and kept getting worse.

With no unicorns to look after, Hagrid had no reason to claim any more of Mina's detention debt. The Astronomy professor would've been the next least annoying option, but Varela was so busy preparing his students for exams that he didn't have time to even pretend to make up busywork for Mina. In fact, all the professors were too busy. And that meant having to spend evenings with Mr. Filch.

"Shameless delinquent."

His usual routine was to hiss insults until Mina could no longer resist telling him off; then the obviously mentally ill old man would hand down more detentions for the backtalk. Thus continuing a vicious, bloody annoying cycle.

"You're the worst one, aren't you? As depraved as they come."

Every single time, Mina told herself that she wouldn't let Filch get to her. That that night would be the night she finally denied him the greater victory of being able to assign more punishment.

"There's a cell waiting for you somewhere, girlie. Yes there is. It's a matter of time. I only wish it could be me allowed to string you up by your ankles and whip you raw."

And every time, she let herself be screwed over by her own big mouth.

"Kinky," Mina blurted, rolling her eyes at herself and her hunchbacked captor, "But I don't think you should be propositioning the student body, especially the not-yet-legal sector."

The jowly, gray-haired skeleton sneersmirked (an expression all his own), declaring, "Skinny, mouthy whelps, not my taste. Besides, you're the one determined to spend more time with me. More detentions, you've earned."

"Surprise, surprise," sighed Mina.

xxXxx

"And what exactly would you like me to do?" Dumbledore queried, mostly not paying attention to his young charge as he shuffled parchment scrolls across his desk.

"Filch is definitely psychotic," said Mina, "Probably a sadist and a pedophile. You should do what most sane people would in the situation and remove him from the vicinity of sweet, innocent children such as myself."

Eyes twinkling and smile trying not to smile too obviously, the headmaster replied, "The only attribute I am sure Mr. Filch possesses is zealousness. Perhaps you should refrain from antagonizing him. Or, Merlin forbid, perhaps attempt to befriend him."

Mina stared across the cluttered surface at her temporary guardian. Frostily, she declared, "I don't befriend."

"That's not what I heard," Dumbledore chuckled, "I heard you've been doing quite a bit of befriending this year. Miss MacDonald. Mr. Macmillan. Firenze. Imagine what you could accomplish if you actually tried."'

Huffing in annoyance, Mina quipped, "Thankfully, we'll never have to find out. I won't have a social life at all once Filch is through trapping me in detentions for the remainder of my Hogwarts career."

"Let's be honest with ourselves," the white-haired wizard argued as the infuriating twinkle returned to his gaze, "There was very little hope of that not happening anyways."

Mina rolled her eyes. "I'm fine with serving the sentence I receive legitimately," she argued, "I learn how to better avoid being caught the next time. But Filch shouldn't be allowed to torture me just because he's old and mean and doesn't have anything better to do. How is that fair?"

The headmaster sighed wearily. He grudgingly promised, "I will speak with Mr. Filch. However, you will still be required to continue serving detentions with him until you can find another faculty or staff member to take over the duty."

"Fair enough," Mina said with a shrug, "I can probably get Hagrid again. He just didn't think you'd let him since he doesn't have much for me to do." At the answering skepticism, she continued, "But I know that all the greenhouses need to be cleaned. It always gets left until the start of the next school year, but it'll be better if I take care of it now. Less mildew."

Dumbledore waved her away, agreeing, "Very well. But please do us both a favor and try not to land yourself in this predicament again."

Mina grinned as she jumped up and strutted toward the door. "I still vehemently deny the charges against me," the girl laughed, "You're just lucky I haven't involved my attorney."

xxXxx

"Does this taste funny to you?" Sirius inquired, reaching across the table in order to shove a half-eaten sausage into James's face.

The bespectacled lad recoiled violently. "Ugh," he complained, "Gross, Padfoot. You know I'm a vegetarian."

Raising a quizzical eyebrow, Sirius wondered, "Since when?"

"Since my lovely sister and I made him think he'd eaten your face," murmured Remus. He didn't bother looking out of his book. Not that he did much of that lately.

"Oh," said Sirius, "Still? But I swear I've seen you eating bacon since then."

James rolled his eyes. "Veggie bacon, which I believe I've explained at least four times, you massive stoner."

"C'mon, mate," replied Sirius, ignoring that last jab, "You're too skinny to be a vegetarian. You'll die. And then who will nag me out of bed for quidditch practice?"

Guarding his (ugh) salad suspiciously, James quipped, "Your concern is touching, but I think I'll be alright. Enjoy devouring the flesh of some poor creature's best friend."

Sirius stared down at his sausage, suddenly feeling guilty. Far too guilty to take another bite, even though he was still hungry. Bloody Prongs, the young man thought bitterly. He pouted and consoled himself with chocolate cake until Mina arrived. Then he consoled himself with an arm around her delicate shoulders.

Sometime during the flurry of her brief and chaotic stay, Mina stabbed the sad sausage off his plate and tore into it like she hadn't eaten in days. "Sorry, lads," the girl announced, chawing gracelessly around the mouthful and miraculously shoveling in more, "I know you all crave the honor of my company, but I need to muss up the greenhouses a bit if I'm going to stretch the cleaning until the end of OWLs."

"Dastardly," Remus commented, sounding quite bored.

Mina swallowed her last few bites and grinned, sneaking her brother an extra helping of roast potatoes while his attention was elsewhere. "I live to impress, dearest twin," she giggled. She kissed him and then Sirius on the cheek and was gone in a flash.

"Oh," said Sirius, "I almost forgot. Andromeda wrote me back earlier. The Marauder campout is on!"

The response was somewhat less than enthused.

"I don't understand," Peter complained, "Why would we want to sleep outside? That's what houses were invented for. And beds. With clean sheets and fluffy pillows."

Nodding, James announced, "For some reason, mosquitoes find me irresistible. I can't protect myself if I go sleeping in their territory."

Remus appeared to have simply ignored the entire exchange.

"Oh, c'mon!" Sirius whined. He would've playfully nudged Remus, but disturbing his intense studying had already proven hazardous. Instead, the black-haired teen argued, "It'll be great! You'll see!"

James rolled his eyes and countered, "That's what you said about mixing firewhiskey with pumpkin juice. I don't think I've ever been so sick."

"The Headless Horseman is a spectacular drink!" Sirius defended, slamming his hand down forcefully and getting quite a few bewildered stares from various bystanders. "You just have a weak liver! It's probably because of your ridiculous vegetarianism!"

xxXxx

At some point during either messing up or cleaning up the greenhouses, Mina managed to touch a bit of pine. And since she was quite allergic, the girl returned to the common room with her hands, arms, and face broken out in a hideous, painful, and annoyingly itchy rash.

She also returned to find her idiot friends embroiled in a heated debate over who had the weakest liver. Which had of course taken the form of a highly ill-advised weeknight drinking contest.

"Sayit!" James slurred, squinting across the low coffee table at his opponent, "Say m'liver is chamee... chamep... champeeeeeeeooooon!"

The man Mina had voluntarily chosen to date shook his stupidly attractive head. While attempting to take another drink out of pure spite, Sirius stabbed himself in the eye with the bottle of firewhiskey. "Owie," he complained, "My liver c'n kick your liver's arse! You... you bloody... COAT RACK!"

Mina would've been amused if she hadn't been so itchy and irritated. And the smell of firewhiskey only served to add queasy to her list of maladies.

"Oh, thank Merlin!" Peter cried, jumping up and running to meet her. "They've gone insane!" the pudgy boy declared, "You have to stop them before they kill themselves!"

Mina glanced at her brother for his opinion.

Remus shrugged but didn't look up. "They'll pass out soon," he claimed, somehow seeming to read two books at once, "I've got it covered. Go to bed, Sunny."

"Sunshine!" Sirius crowed. He bounced to his feet and threw his arms around her, squeezing. "I missed you sooooo much!"

It was idiotic but really quite sweet. And normally Mina would've allowed the public affection with only a token resistance.

However, on that night, she suddenly caught an intense whiff of his firewhiskey breath. Memories immediately assaulted her tired brain, bringing up deeply ingrained feelings of anger and helplessness. Flashbacks of her mother force-feeding her the vile concoction and the hours of helpless delirium and violent nausea that followed.

Somewhere between that moment and Sirius ending up on the floor, Mina realized that her knee had flown upward hard into the lad's unprotected groin.

She gaped down at him, wide-eyed, acutely aware of the eerie silence from the rest of the audience.

Within seconds, the girl vaulted over Sirius's curled, whimpering form and sprinted away up the staircase.

xxXxx

Though Mina had progressed somewhat with her healing skills, Sirius and James were still far more adept. Sure, the girl could probably prevent a person from bleeding to death, but for the less urgent maladies, her friends were the first stop.

Unfortunately, they were both too drunk (and Sirius far too kneed-in-the-fun-bits) to provide any help whatsoever with the allergic rash spreading rapidly across her face and arms. It stung and itched like mad and refused to be soothed by any spells in Mina's repertoire.

At least an icy shower helped a bit with the pain. Though the girl found herself rapidly approaching the point at which she would either have to get out or develop hypothermia. She really couldn't say which was the less terrible option...

"Lupin?"

And of course that was when Evans decided to make her entrance.

"Lupin? Is that you?"

"No," Mina snarled. Well, she tried to snarl, but the sandy-haired she-wolf shivered so badly that the comment emerged as a pitiful croak. "G-G-Go away."

Seconds later, Evans poked her head into the stall. She frowned, "You're taking a freezing shower with your clothes on again."

"You're talking to me when I don't want you to again," countered Mina, already very aware that she'd jumped into the spray without stripping off first. Her poor aching fingers couldn't manage any buttons, snaps, or zippers, thanks very much.

Evans rolled her eyes. "Come on out," she said, "You look awful. You're all blotchy, and your lips are turning blue." Before Mina could offer a witty retort, the redhead snapped, "And I'm not trying to start a fight by saying that. I'm just concerned for your health."

Mina still felt sick. Like her body still expected the smell of firewhiskey to be accompanied by hours of retching and crying and begging for it all to end in any way possible.

Not to mention the guilt. That alone might've killed her. Sirius didn't deserve to be hit just because Mina couldn't control her stupid broken brain...

"Lupin?" Evans said once more, stepping closer and daring to shake Mina by the shoulder, "What's wrong with you? What did you take?"

Slapping the concerned hand away, Mina growled, "I didn't take anything, you fucking cow! Get the bloody hell away from me!"

Evans rolled her eyes in response and answered, "Obviously something is going on, and I can't very well leave you alone in this state." She stared carefully at the rash, finally determining, "That looks painful."

"Allergies are a bitch," Mina snapped. She turned her back and hoped that the intruder would take a hint.

But Evans stayed, remaining silent for a few moments before sighing, "You should see the nurse."

"The nurse should suck my cock," grumbled Mina, "Not like she's good for much else."

Evans sighed again. "Well," she announced peevishly, "I think I probably have some salve in my trunk that could help."

"I didn't ask for any," Mina declared. Almost shouted because the prickling of her inflamed skin threatened to drive her mad.

"Merlin's sake!" Evans yelled, seeming to shock herself right along with Mina, "Would you just stop being surly and hateful for a single moment?! What did I ever do to you that you won't even take my help when you obviously need it?!"

Mina couldn't help thinking that the question was a legitimate one. Because, after all, the girl's initial hatred of Evans and its enduring seed were based on basically nothing. An instant, instinctive dislike that in anyone else would've become casual indifference.

But Mina didn't do indifference, casual or otherwise. "It's always about you, isn't it, Evans?" the girl taunted, finally shoving her way out of the uncomfortable exchange and the frigid spray, "You think so much of yourself. It actually bothers you that I'm not interested in being your friend. Because you're so great a person we should all be humiliating ourselves for your approval, like poor cunt-struck Potter does, right?" Mina whirled, still shaking from some combination of anger and sadness and hypothermia. "Complain all you want, but everyone can see how much you enjoy the attention. And the sad part is that if you really despise James as much as you say, then that makes you nothing but a pathetic whore desperate for praise wherever you can get it."

Righteous indignation suddenly gone, Evans seemed to be shaking as well. "Shut up," she whispered. Her voice half choked with tears. "I hate you."

Mina laughed. "About fucking time."

xxXxx

Hangovers were bad enough. Hangovers coupled with aching bollocks that unleashed unfathomable spikes of pain with every ragged breath were an entirely different animal.

Unfortunately, Sirius knew first hand.

"Uhhh... uh..." he sobbed, gingerly cradling his privates as he rested his face against the Gryffindor table.

Never in his life had he experienced a more excruciating walk. He should've stayed in bed like James did.

But then he might've missed the opportunity to see his dearly beloved ball buster.

To receive her apology, if she'd actually give it.

And to apologize, if she'd let him.

Because the more he thought about the incident (what little he could remember coupled with Remus's sniggered accounts), the more Sirius had realized that he should've known better.

Mina could not abide the scent of firewhiskey. Well she could. She'd gotten better at doing so. Just as long as it didn't come too close.

All the Marauders learned that lesson clear as day many years previous. And even drunkenness (perhaps especially drunkenness) was no excuse not to remember.

It was James who nicked the mostly full bottle. But in all fairness, Sirius had to goad him for three days to get him to do so. And the task hadn't proven itself nearly as perilous as either boy imagined. The Defense professor that first year (a stout, boring old fellow whose name always proved elusive) turned out to be a barely functional alcoholic (hence his hasty departure several weeks before the end of final term and his rumored death from liver failure shortly thereafter); he never reported or perhaps even noticed when the merchandise disappeared from his office shortly after Christmas break.

But at the time, the feat had felt like a daring one, and Sirius and James ran all the way to the boys' dorm, crowing triumphantly as they presented their friends with the prize.

Mina took one look at the label on the bottle and went white as a sheet.

Sirius noticed right away. Because it was such an odd reaction. An odd sight in general from Mina, who still didn't fully trust them and still hadn't shown them the slightest hint of weakness or fear.

Of course, Sirius was the only one to notice. Pete did his best to share James's excitement, albeit reluctantly, glancing back at Remus for guidance. Remus himself was as furious as anyone had seen him, all scolds as he jumped up from his bed.

Confused, Sirius still stared at Mina. He thought she'd be the first to toast their success (looking back, he might've even been trying to impress the fierce little girl), but instead she looked ready to run, even to tremble. If only she could force herself to move.

Sirius was watching her, so he didn't see Remus getting progressively more irate or trying to snatch the bottle; he didn't see James pulling away and tripping on the tangled laundry pile.

He did see Mina's eyes go wide and track the path of the bottle as it flew out of James's grip and twirled upupupdowndowndown-

The bottle bounced off her knee but didn't shatter, rolling to the floor and spinning idly at her feet.

Mina shuddered. Then, with a half-hysterical shriek, she kicked it with all her strength.

Her bare foot broke in four places, but the bottle still didn't until it slammed into a far wall, golden liquid and powdered glass exploding in a puff and filling the room with that razor-sharp odor.

As quick as she'd turned white, Mina turned green. That time her brother saw. Again, looking back, Sirius realized more about the event. Realized that Remus had been trying to prevent such a reaction in going after the bottle. He'd been trying to protect Mina from remembering.

And when he failed, he tried to run to her side.

But even with her slender foot broken in four places, already swelling and turning a hideous purple, Mina was still able to sprint away quicker, out and down their stairs and up the girls'.

She locked herself in the toilets and stayed there for nearly four hours.

Remus refused to explain, too incensed and terrified. He talked Evans into going after Mina, but that proved counterproductive. Mina viciously shouted Evans away (in between bouts of fierce retching), and then Evans tearfully tattled to McGonagall. McGonagall dragged Mina kicking and screaming to the Hospital Wing.

Later, calmer, the sly girl spun a story about a duel gone awry. How she and James and Sirius had just been fooling around in the hallway. She didn't know which boy's spell hit her, she claimed. Surely it had been an accident, maybe even one of her own bouncing back, but it had made her fall down the stairs and afterward made her sick.

A few hours with the nurse for Mina, a detention for her and James and Sirius. Everything tied in a neat bow.

Except the boys knew the truth of it. Well, they knew what they saw.

Neither twin ever gave a real explanation, not until years later when James figured out Remus's condition and Mina confessed to their mother's abuse, the horrid woman's practice of drugging her with sleeping draught and forcing Mina to drink firewhiskey as a way of controlling the unruly toddler who refused to sleep.

At the time, Remus claimed his sister was allergic, but of course that didn't make sense: Mina reacted to the sight of the bottle before she reacted to the smell of what was inside.

The only justification Mina gave (word for word) was, "Shut your fat useless face, or I'll gut you with my bare hands."

Sirius's aching balls reminded of and granted painful clarity to his past.

Someone standing behind him laughed cruelly, and that same someone daintily settled a mug of scalding black coffee (the good stuff usually reserved for well-behaved seventh years and overworked professors) close to his head.

Remus told him later that the blessed caffeine-bringer had been Regulus. But Regulus didn't say anything and didn't stay. And Sirius really didn't care. He gulped that coffee so fast that he scalded himself from tongue to tonsils to trachea and still felt marginally better afterward.

Evans visited next, complaining to Remus about his sister's "atrocious behavior." After five years Mina could still bait the redhead into a frothing rage with just a few barbed quips.

Merlin, Sirius loved her.

And hated her. Sometimes.

Mina appeared so suddenly beside him that Sirius couldn't help flinching in instinctive terror. His battered bollocks felt as if they were actually trying to break free from the rest of him and flee. His girl regarded him coolly, murky blue eyes showing no hint of whatever thoughts (whether angry or contrite) lay behind them.

Then, casual as ever, Mina demanded, "Pass the waffles."

Sirius did, slowly and with no sudden movements.

After Mina accepted the platter, she continued to stare right at her boyfriend. "Thanks," she said. She turned away and served herself and then began to eat.

Sirius was so confused. And sore. And queasy. And apparently they were once again taking the pretend it never happened approach for conflict resolution.

Well, so he thought. But then, while limping feebly off to class, Sirius put a hand in his pocket and found a small bottle that hadn't been there before.

Hangover potion. Clearly stolen straight from Slughorn's own personal stockpile.

In the language of Lupin, it was an apology.

Sirius smiled weakly at the girl.

Mina pretended she didn't see, stomping proudly along like the day was the same as any other. Like she hadn't slowed her pace to stay at Sirius's side.

xxXxx

Her own flying fists woke the girl, tense limbs lashing through the dark air at phantom enemies.

Mina sat up in bed, drenched and shaking. But the panic of the dream immediately started to evaporate along with the sweat and the memory.

She barely ever remembered her rare dreams, and even then usually only nonsensical glimpses of light and shadow, swirls of color. But they couldn't be good, not judging from the way they left her so wobbly and anxious. No matter how many times she told herself not to, Mina couldn't help wondering what it had been this time. Lingering flashes of life with her mother? Or perhaps more fallout from the Diagon massacre? Or maybe nothing but horrific creations of her own mind?

Furious at herself, Mina threw back her tangled blankets and stomped out of the quiet dorm. On any other night she might've woken her brother or her boyfriend, but they were both exhausted and needed the sleep.

The common room was too warm, and Mina felt too claustrophobic besides. She left stealthily (making sure not to wake the Fat Lady) and set out for fresher air. A mad sprint through the Forbidden Forest would clear the persistent stabbing of dread from her gut.

She slid silent through the castle. Alone. Down spinning and shifting stairs. Through all the familiar shadows. Out the front doors, across the wide lawn and all the way to the edge of the wood where she could finally breathe. She followed the edge for a few hundred yards, wanting to be well away from the unicorn paddock before she plunged into the forest: the run was supposed to make her feel better, after all, not remind the girl of the friends she'd likely never see again.

As the big tree came into view off to her right, Mina remembered that her path was taking her closer to the Whomping Willow.

And she realized there was a person standing just out of range of the enormous branches that stirred restlessly in the light of the waxing moon. Mina slipped further into the shadow of the forest and observed.

The far-off figure aimed a few curses and stuns at the trunk, but all he managed to do was illuminate his sallow, skinny face.

Severus Snape. Trying to get past the Whomping Willow.

Rage had Mina shifting to Sunny before the girl made any conscious decision to do so. She changed too fast, the normal dull discomfort becoming sharp, painful tearing as her bones and muscles and organs rapidly reshaped. But no matter. The she-wolf let loose a high, horrible howl that echoed back from every direction until her one voice sounded like a thousand.

Frozen in the dark, blind from the light of his own stupid spellfire, Snape held his wand out and hissed pathetic serpent's threats. He spun in wide circles as he searched for the danger. He made so much noise that a hippogriff could've approached unnoticed.

Sunny stalked closer, snarling quietly. When she was in range to kill him with one pounce, she revealed herself to the boy and drooled at the smell of his terror.

She allowed him to turn and run. Right into the Willow's merciless branches.

Snape dodged the first one, and then the second, squealing girlishly in shock but not daring to retreat.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place, Sunny thought, sitting on her haunches to watch the fun, Or maybe it should be "between a Wolf and a Willow." That has a much better ring to it.

The young Animagus taunted her victim with yet another howl, this one more of a laugh. Although she guessed that Snape couldn't tell the difference since his attempt to flee grew that much more desperate.

The next branch caught the greasy cretin hard in the stomach and swept him clean off his feet. His breath left in a punched huff (a sour huff that reeked of his half-digested dinner and poor dental hygiene) as the pathetic creature tried to cling to the bough.

There was no hope of that, not while Snape relied on such a weak little excuse for a body. His scrawny arms couldn't hold on, and when the branch whipped high into the air, its reluctant passenger hurtled away like a ragdoll.

Luckily for him, the swipe threw Snape clear. He hit the ground with a thump and a wail and was unconscious long before his limp body finally stopped rolling.

Sunny took her time walking over and didn't bother to scent the lump; that would've been a foul experience even for her human senses. She circled her victim, debating whether or not to piss on his head.

But she decided that a creepy freak like Snape probably got off on such things, and Sunny wanted no part of that. She growled and circled away from him, ears pricked for sounds of anyone approaching to investigate the noise.

The night remained quiet and still except for the massive tree creaking and churning overhead.

That's when she found the bag, roughly where Snape had been standing before he ran himself into the Willow. Sunny nosed open the satchel and recoiled as her eyes stung. She sneezed.

Then she was Mina again, and she could barely breathe through her anger.

Snape had filled his satchel with aconite, more commonly called wolfsbane, an herb known to be toxic to humans but deadly to werewolves. And he'd been trying to get into the Willow just a week before the full moon.

Obviously whatever Sirius did to threaten or cajole the Slytherin away from Remus's secret had done little good.

And that meant it was Mina's turn.

xxXxx

Later, the girl would reflect on how easy it all was. And how that should've been a clue that her plan wouldn't work.

Mina levitated Snape's body inside the castle and dumped it at the bottom of a steep, notoriously treacherous staircase. She dropped a joint by the unconscious Slytherin then climbed to the landing and smoked two more herself, leaving the butts in as conspicuous spots as possible.

Then Mina shoved a suit of armor down the stairs and ran in the opposite direction, trusting that the unholy clamor would draw Filch in like an ugly old moth to a greasy young flame.

And that part worked at least. The fresh gossip reached the Marauders during breakfast. Except it wasn't what Mina had hoped.

"Probation?" she snarled, scaring poor Gerald Walker back a step. "They gave that fucker probation? After catching him redhanded?! They should expel his Death Eater arse!"

Walker squeaked, "W-Well they didn't. Dumbledore is still grilling him about where he got the..." The tiny seeker leaned in close and whispered. "The drugs. But Snape must've hit his head in the fall because he just keeps going on about a pack of wolves chasing him through the forest."

Mina felt torn between the urge to laugh hysterically and the urge jam a butter knife into any Slytherin within reach. She was fully aware of the obvious suspicion in her friends' stares. But the boys were smart enough to wait until they were all alone that evening in the safety of their dorm before accusing her.

"Snivellus brought it on himself," she argued, completely unapologetic, "And I didn't even touch him. Though I should've torn out his throat."

She told the story in full. And although James and Sirius seemed to appreciate the scheme she'd put together, they still took Remus's side in the overall disapproval.

"We would've smelled the wolfsbane long before Moony turned," said James, "If Snivellus had even found a way into the Willow, which I highly doubt. You didn't have to do this, Sunny. It's just going to make the greaseball more determined."

Mina glared and snapped, "He should've been expelled. But at least I've hurt his credibility. No one is going to trust the word of a stupid oily stoner who got so high he fell down the stairs running away from imaginary wolves."

Sighing, Sirius replied, "People might not listen to him now, but he's still well on the trail, and if he gets actual proof-"

"He won't," vowed Mina.

Remus looked at her wearily, for once not buried in books and notes. "Sunny," he murmured, "Please, don't do anything stupid. I'd rather have to leave Hogwarts then see you hurt anyone, even Snape."

Even though he'd never said it explicitly before, Mina already knew that was how her brother felt. "Well, too bad," the girl snarled, "I'm going to shut Snivellus up. One way or another, but this time for good."

xxXxx

As the weekend progressed with no more talk of bloodshed or vengeance, Sirius allowed himself to relax, to futilely hope that Mina had let the matter drop.

But of course that was impossible.

Snape left the Hospital Wing on Sunday night. Before he could even get back to the dungeons, someone tried to drop a cauldron full of wilted wolfsbane on his head. From at least three stories up. It cracked the stone floor but fortunately not the Slytherin's skull.

"Subtle," Sirius commented once he'd heard and sought out the likely culprit in their thriving herb garden hidden several miles into the densest part of the Forest.

Sprawled on a low tree branch at the edge of the balmy, fragrant clearing, Mina gave no sign that she appreciated the sarcasm. Instead, she declared, "Unless you're here to help me plot that idiot's death, then go away."

"We can't kill him. We don't have to. There are other ways-"

"That's what you said last time," Mina snapped. She jumped down from her perch, and even though Sirius was much taller, the girl seemed to tower over him. With the red sun setting behind her back, she looked practically demonic. "Snape had his chance. All he needed to do was keep his enormous nose out of our business, but it seems like that was too difficult a concept for his puny reptilian brain."

Mina's anger was easy to mistake for anger. And, sure, most of it was.

But Sirius knew her well enough to know that she was also worried and scared. That she still didn't want to hurt anyone, even Snape, but would without hesitation to protect her brother.

Sirius stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the girl.

She struggled weakly but finally leaned into his embrace.

"It'll be alright, Sunshine," the black-haired teen soothed, "We'll figure everything out. I promise."

Still clearly unhappy, she smacked him one more time before snuggling against his chest and grumbling, "Saw that in your crystal ball, did you?"

"Actually," Sirius chuckled, "I'm not bothering to study for Divination. There's very little chance that Giles will allow me into the NEWT classes anyways. Not after I asked him teach us phrenology."

Mina giggled.

xxXxx

Monday brought with it the Charms OWL. The written progressed simply enough, but Mina's foul mood prevented her from conjuring even false courtesy for her examiner during the practical portion; the girl flawlessly performed every task but still suspected that the chubby bald wizard who oversaw had found some ridiculous reason to take points.

I hate people, she thought to herself, definitely not for the first time.

All the boys except Peter finished before she did. Remus didn't wait (probably run off to barricade himself in the library again), but Sirius and James were still wrestling in the hallway when Mina emerged.

"Would you dumb sods quit with the grab-arse already?" she ordered, halfhearted even to her own ears, "We need to study for Transfiguration."

The two black-haired boys who could've been brothers frowned up at her from their awkward tangle.

Mina smirked. "And by that I of course mean we need to find some good strong ale to transfigure into good strong piss."

"Had me worried for a second," James laughed. He straightened his glasses and fought briefly to free himself from the jumble, planting an elbow against Sirius's temple.

Her boyfriend squawked and flailed and pulled James down again by the ankle. "Sunshine," said Sirius, from his perch atop their companion's skinny back, "I have an idea." His gray eyes gleamed, half-mad with depraved delight. Just how Mina liked them.

But of course, tormenting their owner was also a favorite pastime. "Any idea of yours can only be improved by drunkenness," the girl declared.

Sirius scoffed with mock affront. "Well, maybe I won't tell you then," he threatened.

Mina smirked at that. She murmured, "I believe I've already proven that I have many, many ways of making you talk."

James gave a sudden wail, thrashing his limbs like a toddler having a tantrum. "Good Godric, woman!" he yelped, "Are you out of your mind?! You're meant to flirt with him when he's on top of you, not when he's on top of me!"

The implication made her blush. Which in turn served to infuriate her. Mina kicked the bespectacled beanpole and snarled, "Show some gratitude. Rubbing up against Padfoot's accidental hardons is all the action you're ever going to get until you quit mooning after that stuck-up ginger."

There was a brief and uncomfortable silence.

"Aaaaand... now it's awkward for everyone," Sirius drawled as he slowly got to his feet, "Thanks, love. You have a real talent." Still, it only took a moment for him to give James a hand up and then stride over to give Mina a chaste kiss on the cheek.

Sometimes she hated how sweet he was; it made her feel like even more of a colossal bitch.

Still, the girl allowed herself to be tucked beneath Sirius's strong arm on the way back to the Tower. Halfway there, she realized that they'd forgotten Peter. But she put the rat out of her thoughts just as quickly; he was more likely to go bother Remus in the library than to join them for an afternoon of boozing.

They sat on James's bed, as they did quite often. Peter's smelled weird; Remus hated having his blankets mussed up; Sirius was likely to lose some important bits if her brother found Mina near his sheets, even on top of them with a trusty four-eyed chaperone in close range.

Mina and Sirius shared a joint while James poured drinks. The three took turns toasting to luck and success in the coming weeks.

Then Sirius repeated his earlier announcement, about the idea. "Everyone knows Slytherins are cowards," he declared, "Even more so for Snivellus. Seeing Sunny obviously terrified him. Now we just have to get him terrified enough to stop snooping."

"I could bite off his face," suggested Mina, "But that greasy beak is probably poisonous."

James laughed, shaking his head. "I know it's not your strong suit, but maybe something that won't land us all in Azkaban?"

Mina smirked. "You're no fun."

"We're not just out to torture him, love," Sirius explained (though even he didn't seem entirely convinced of that), "Well, I'm sure it'll be a bonus, but this is meant to be a strategic strike with a clear purpose."

Snickering, Mina remarked, "So what's the plan, Admiral Padfoot?"

He grinned that grin of his, the devilish one that made Mina's knees weak, which in turn seemed to make her common sense roll its eyes in disgust and step out for an ill-timed smoke break. "If Snivellus wants a werewolf so bad," said Sirius, "Then let's give him one..."

xxXxx

Remus would never have approved, so of course they had no intention of telling him. He wasn't likely to find out, not unless someone spilled. Which was why they had decided not to tell Peter, either. Bless his likely enlarged heart, the butterball sometimes couldn't keep his big mouth shut.

Detentions were suspended during exams, which was lucky. Unless you were a remorseless repeat offender (Mina) or on probation for drugs (Snape). Someone very, very stupid (Dumbledore) decided that the two should serve their sentences together.

Nothing got done the entire first hour. The teens circled each other and glared, too tense and furious for words, each unwilling to let the other out of eyesight.

But then Hagrid poked his head into the greenhouse, saw that they weren't working, and gave as stern a warning as was capable from such a sweet man.

The second hour they alternated ignoring and glaring as they puttered around with miscellaneous gardening clutter.

Mina didn't break the silence. She just abandoned her task, seated herself on one of the tables, and lit a joint.

"Put that out!" Snape hissed urgently. His fists clenched. If he hadn't been such a useless coward, the emaciated teen might've made a grab at the smoldering contraband. His eyes flicked back and forth to the door, expecting Hagrid to arrive for another checkup at any second.

The grin that spread across Mina's face felt appropriately feral. The girl gave a low chuckle. "You got busted for weed," she murmured, holding out the joint, "You might as well actually commit the crime you're being punished for."

Snape stared, frozen in a disbelieving sneer.

"No?" taunted Mina. She shrugged and put the joint back to her own lips. "More for me."

Inhale.

Hold.

Exhale.

"I understand you have a theory concerning my brother," the girl declared.

"It's not a theory," Snape hissed, "I know exactly what kind dangerous freak your brother is, and as soon as I get some proof, everyone in school is going to know as well."

Mina took another long drag. "You seem to have misinterpreted a few key details," she said, "And if you want this conversation to remain so surprisingly civil while I provide generous enlightenment, you won't refer to Remus with adjectives other than brilliant and amazing."

"These threats and head games are useless," the Slytherin declared, "I'm going to enjoy getting the both of you thrown out of here."

Ignoring the outburst, Mina calmly remarked, "There's a lot of false information floating around about werewolves. Half the books were written during the middle ages, you know. And even the more recent ones are mostly products of hate and fear. Very few of the authors even speak to real werewolves, let alone get all the facts straight about them."

She allowed her eyes to change, just for the time it took to flash her elongating fangs.

Snape made a noise like he got stuck halfway between a gurgle and a scream, retreating blindly until his back hit the opposite wall.

"Weres have to change during the full moon," Mina went on casually, fully returned to human form, "But with a bit of hardwork, a bit of... I guess I'd call it embracing the inner wolf, changes during the rest of the month weren't difficult to master. They're far more enjoyable, too, because I remain in control of my thoughts and actions." The girl got down from her perch and stalked leisurely across the length of the greenhouse. "In other words," she told her shivering prey, "Nobody gets bitten. On accident, at least."

Snape began fumbling for his wand, uncharacteristically comical and clumsy in his panic.

"You can stop pissing your knickers," the girl laughed cruelly, "I'm not even contagious right now."

"S-S-Stay away," stuttered Snape, "I'm warning you-"

She seized the front of his faded robes, slamming their inhabitant brutally against the dark glass.

His wand clattered away.

"No," snarled Mina, "I'm giving the warnings here. My brother has stuck by me through more crap than an insect like you could possibly imagine, and all he's ever asked in return is that I go to school with him." She gave the nearly weightless teen another hard slam. "You think I want to be here? Surrounded by morons and bigots? The smell of all these people! You especially! Merlin, I'm constantly swallowing down the urge to vomit! But I stay. Because that's what Remus wants. And you can be damn sure that I'd kill any idiot stupid enough to take that away from him."

Snape, though obviously still terrified, regained a modicum of rational thought. "I-It can't be you," he insisted desperately, "Remus is the one who disappears every month-"

"He really is sick, you pathetic waste," snapped Mina. (She had the absurdly ill-timed thought that being an actress might be a valid career choice; she almost giggled and ruined the whole con). "We've timed his hospital visits with my changes because... because when I'm not myself, the first thing I always do is try to find him. To turn him. Where do you think all his bloody scars came from? We had a few close calls in the beginning. We think it's because my wolf wants him as a pack-mate."

Wide-eyed, Snape muttered, "You... it can't be you..."

Mina flashed her fangs and wolfish eyes once more. "Knowing both Lupin twins," she said, "Which do you think is more likely the vicious animal?"

As expected, that was the argument that really sold it.

"Alright," murmured Mina, "Now that we're on the same page, there's one more thing you should be aware of before you make any trouble for us." She slowly released her hold on her stunned classmate's distractingly stiff robe. She stared into his face and very calmly announced, "You would've already been dead a dozen times and shat out of a dozen thestrals if I hadn't promised Remus I wouldn't get myself expelled."

Snape said nothing.

Mina, however, cheerfully continued, "So the way I see it, you should actually be trying to make sure I don't get expelled rather than helping the process along. Because if I do get kicked out, for any reason, you can bet your scaly arse that the last thing I do before I leave is decorate the Great Hall with your entrails. Do we understand each other now?"

Snape squirmed, his gaze darting quickly between Mina and the general direction of the wand he'd so embarrassingly dropped.

"There's no need for that, Snivellus," said Mina. She gave him a condescending smile, summoning the boy's wand back and setting it just out of his reach. "I'm really doing you a favor here. One you don't deserve. So how about a little gratitude, ey?"

Still, Snape declined to comment, but he glared with pure hatred.

Mina flicked the very tip of his very long nose. "That means you say thank you," she declared.

After several moments of insulted, scheming silence, Snape finally seemed to decide that he was too frightened to resist. He choked out an insincere, "Thanks."

Chuckling, she replied, "Good boy."

xxXxx

To be completely honest, Mina really hadn't expected the ruse to work as a permanent solution. The best she hoped for was to instill enough fear and doubt to carry them over through graduation.

What she didn't expect was the spectacular failure. But she really should've, what with the plan coming from Sirius and all.

The next few days passed uneventfully enough. Just OWLs, studying, and detention for Mina. After that first night, Snape had decided to serve his sentence with Filch.

Mina didn't think anything about the switch, other than a small snicker over the Slytherin's cowardice. She certainly didn't think that Snape was doing anything other than trying to stay far, far away from her.

But then, after the Defense OWL, while the Marauders were joking with Remus about the werewolf question on the exam, while they were all on their way outdoors for a well-deserved long lunch, the group passed by Filch's office just in time for Snape to step out.

He froze very briefly, beady eyes dark and cold, spidery hands clenched tight around a few slips of parchment.

Mina was barely able to make out her own name on the outermost slip before Snape turned and ran.

"Huh," said Peter, "That was... weird. Even for Snivellus."

Mina didn't answer; she was too busy trying to figure out why Snape was stealing pages out of her lengthy disciplinary file.

As soon as the group made it out to the fresh air, the answer hit Mina like a punch in the gut.

"I've had detention during the full moon before," she snarled at James as she held him back a step. The girl didn't know whether to be furious or terrified, but either way she felt like vomiting and was squeezing a bruise into her friend's spindly wrist. "I almost always skip them, but McG caught me twice during second year and personally dragged me down to Filch. He must've had the records in his office."

Uncharacteristically slow, James blinked at her and whispered, "So?"

Mina could've throttled him. "So, Snivellus was just in there, probably stealing them, and they prove I can't be a werewolf. And since Padfoot's brilliant plan involved admitting to that gawky reptile that the werewolf he's been searching for is a Lupin, and since there's only one other one here-"

"Oh," James interrupted, eyes going wide behind his ridiculous specs, "Oh no. What're we going to do?"

That was an excellent question. It was one thing to keep Snape quiet when he wasn't sure of anything; it was quite another when he knew for certain that Remus was the werewolf and when Mina no longer had a valid method of deflecting suspicion onto herself.

"We need those papers back," she decided, "He doesn't have any real proof, but if he starts mouthing off anyways, I need to be able to cover for Moony. People are still more likely to believe that I'm the werewolf so long as they don't see any evidence that completely rules it out."

Frowning, James said, "Telling Snape you're the werewolf is one thing. If you tell the whole school... this could fall apart very quickly."

Mina knew that, damnit. But she'd take a real bullet for her brother, so some silly metaphorical one made of negative public opinion wouldn't even make her flinch.

"I want those papers," she snarled, trying to put on a happy face as they neared the rest of their crew lounging beneath a large shady tree, "Snivellus is always stalking Evans, and I know she's out here somewhere. When you see the snake, cause a diversion so I can get into his bag."

xxXxx

One minute, everything was perfect. The weather was warm and beautiful. The Marauders were all together, relaxing in the shade, and they had several hours before their next exam. Sirius had finally goaded his cranky girlfriend into letting him put an arm around her shoulders. And even though she continued to glower menacingly, life didn't seem like it could get much better.

The next minute, James had Snape hanging upside down in the air. The whole exchange was a surprise; James had been trying to behave as far as Snape was concerned, and especially in front of Evans, who was most likely lurking very nearby.

But still: harassing Snape was always fun. And certainly exposing his nasty under clothes to the rest of the student body added a respectable amount of amusement to any afternoon. Sirius joined in most gleefully.

Around the time that Evans marched over and began demanding that her friend be released, Sirius noticed a conspicuous absence: Mina. He glanced about in search of her and finally located the girl a few steps away from the gathered crowd.

She was digging through Snape's bag and finally seemed to find what she was looking for. The girl stuffed a wad of papers into her trouser pocket and quickly signaled before sprinting back to the castle.

Sirius wondered who she was signaling. But that was about the time that James abruptly released Snape.

Had it all been planned?

And without him?

What the bloody hell?

Of course, that was also when Snape called Lily a mudblood.

And Sirius had the sudden, sickening sensation that everything was about to go wrong.

xxxxxxxxxx

Sorry this took so long. It was one of those chapters that seemed like it would never end. Anyways, more hopefully soon, and reviews are appreciated ;)