AN: Hey! Uhm, I have no idea when I uploaded last but I worked on this around job applications. Watch me get rejected because my degrees are not German . Also I developed a new editing technique and I think the text flows a bit better now.
Either way I got a few reviews on last chapter and believe me I squealed when I got them.
Love Fiction 2019: Thank you!
Arctech: Aw thank you and welcome! Hope you will continue to enjoy this and I look forward to seeing your thoughts on the chapters to come :)
Guest: I am glad you loved this and that you think that it would be a decent plot for a novel. I do hope that you will like the later plot points, first time a lot is taking place in the background and I have to pick and show what the protags can see. Hope I can read your thoughts on the next chapter!
vos (guest): Ich kann wirklich nicht beschreiben wie froh ich bin deine Kommentare zu lesen :D Kann dir jetzt schon sagen, dass die Familien Fehde schon was damit zu tun hat. Es wird noch viel wichtiger werden, aber nicht für ne ganze Weile. Aber ich lasse dich mal ein bisschen weiter rätseln :P Nächstes Chapter kommt noch was heftigeres. Ja von Al kann er gern gedrückt werden, ich bin nur zu grausam das zu zulassen xD Oh je vader wird sich mal melden, aber nicht wie wir denken. Rion war sehr tief in der Scheiße, und das mit der Familien fehde. Bin noch nicht ganz sicher wie das auffliegt, aber ich bin dran! Ich denke, dass ein Teil von einer Anpassung auch die Phase der Verleugnung dazu gehört. Ich hoffe, du hast die kleine Referenz zu den Klon Krieg Episode bemerkt am Anfang :D
Hab mir mal Hofmannsthal angeschaut... oohhh boi... Mein Beileid. Hast du das Ergebnis schon bekommen? Aber ich bin nur eine abgeschlossene Physikstudentin, ich habe so was von keine Ahnung XD Tehra wird noch eine größere Rolle spielen. Ist eine erfahrerene Kopfgeldjägerin, die aufgehört hatte. Ihre Ansicht der Dinge ist immer anders als das von Al and Boba. Also diese Risßenkommis sind die, dich mich anspornen schneller zu schreiben! Ich denke, dass ich Boba's Perspektive zum Schluss schreibe.
Either way, this is a little breather before next chapter which will have major things happen. Do let me know what you think in the reviews! I live of them these days.
An accident? How…? Altharya stared at Tehra who let out a long and exhausted sigh. Numbness settled on her shoulder blades as Boba stiffened next to her. The report on the accident had been released barely an hour ago on the morning Rion and Lireth, the other one, were set to be buried. Couldn't have happened at a worse time…. That had been no accident. Not when a shadow was looming over them, encroaching on her dreams. Almost like someone was watching her.
How had the authorities not found a single shred of evidence of foul play? Especially this quickly! It had only been a week. She wanted to shake her head, but shock froze up her muscles and she merely blinked at the glowing words on the datapad.
"No." Boba cut into their silence furiously, his hands balled into fists where they lay on the table. "No! That is…" He stopped, his nostrils flared as anger bubbled in his chest brightly trying to burst forth.
She winced.
"Boba." Tehra interjected softly, stretching out her hand to put it on top of his fists.
He jerked back at the touch, teeth bared. "We saw what happened! How can they…" – releasing a furious huff, he pinched the bridge of his nose and spat bitterly – "Why?"
Tehra shot her a pleading look, but what was she to say? The same thing the report said? All their justifications said out loud? That felt too cruel in this moment.
"There had been no evidence of tampering." Tehra muttered, grabbing his wrist securely.
In case he wanted to bolt. With how tense he was and his muscles were twitching underneath, he was contemplating it. Not that she could blame him. Then he took a long and deep breath, the tension lessened only a little.
"Should have looked harder." He retorted coldly, keeping unnaturally still.
"What could they have looked at if most was evaporated or burned beyond useful?" Tehra argued insistently.
How could Tehra remain this calm? Somehow Altharya envied the cool calmness the Togruta exuded now. But if it was what kept Boba from bolting, she wouldn't complain.
"The fact that most was evaporated? That most was conveniently destroyed beyond being looked at?"
Altharya rubbed her forehead where a headache was building up with her elbows on the table they were sitting around. That was not how she had imagined this visit to Tehra would go. Some quiet and space to breathe, not anger at a report that was finished that very moment. Now their nerves were strung tight… not to think about the others who will come to the funeral as well. A gathering of tense bounty hunters could not end well. At worst it would end in a catastrophe.
"Don't you think I agree with you?" Tehra's tone was stern and sharp as glass. "And you know as well as I do that without official sanction our hands are tied!"
"What?" She finally had found her voice again, looking at the two confused.
Both looked anywhere but at her for a moment. Until they exchanged dark knowing looks simultaneously.
"If it had been ruled as anything but murder" – Tehra then spoke cautiously – "Procedures would have demanded our relocation and that we find the perpetrators and deliver them to the Arion courts."
"Why make you find them?"
"We are granted some autonomy in security matters in these towns. If anything happens, it is very clearly defined as a failure of our diligence. It would be our punishment on top of the relocation."
"So why can't you act without evidence? Seems like you are given some sort of leeway?"
"Autonomy does not exclude us from their laws." Tehra shook her head. "Without evidence of foul play, we have no grounds to go on. Except when another incidence occurs."
"Not entirely true." Boba relaxed his fists finally. "Because of this autonomy we can go and look for ourselves."
"And have the Arions suspect that we know something we have not disclosed?" Tehra snarled. "Do you want us to immediately lose this place?!"
"No!" Boba fired back. "I just…"
"Want justice?" Tehra gave out an ugly laugh. "Last time you did that…"
"Innocent people died. I know!" Boba's voice had dropped so low and cold that Altharya leaned away from him as far as she could in her seat. "Don't you think I was punished enough for that?"
What had he done? She watched as his face drained, exhaustion and guilt carving his eyes and cheeks in. Revenge for his father? For who else?
"Boba" – Tehra pleaded desperately now – "I do not want you to…"
"Make the same mistake?"
"I want you to sit down and think!"
"What did you do?" Altharya asked, making the two jerk around to face her.
"What?" Boba frowned at her.
"Who did you kill to get revenge?" She asked, fixing him in place with how hard she was staring him down.
His eyes widened, grew distant and then flashed angrily. "Tried to kill the Jetii who had killed my father and left me in a warzone." – She had swallow heavily at the hatred that dripped from every word. – "I snuck on his warship and killed soldiers on my way to him. Never got to him in the end. Was caught and thrown in prison. As a thirteen year old."
Her mouth dropped open in shock. So young? How had he managed to sneak on one of the heavily fortified ships? How had no one noticed a kid walking around that killed fully grown and trained soldiers? Somehow… it didn't fit in her head.
"Threw him into a prison for war criminal" – Tehra continued, rubbing circles in her temples – "Should have never been in one, but the courts…"
"It was not the courts." Boba interrupted quickly. "The Senate convicted me. Did not matter that I was a minor."
Injustice… she looked down to where her hands were clasped tightly together, her finger tips digging into the spaces between her knuckles. Why would they condemn a minor to military prison? Even with the severity of the crime… stars, she should have paid more attention to the legislature classes in the temple.
"How did you get out?" She asked quietly.
Boba clenched and unclenched his jaw, before his face fell and lost its sharp edges. "Jail break. Took the opportunity and hid."
"I got him off planet." Tehra then said.
"You already knew each other?" Altharya looked at them surprised.
Tehra seemed to have aged for decades in that moment, dark circles underneath her eyes. "I owed his father. Was my way to repay him."
She mouthed an 'oh', not quite sure who to look at. How had the Republic allowed itself to sentence a child to an adult war crime prison? The Jedi should have intervened. Hadn't they preached to them early on, as far back as she could remember, that one had to show compassion in the face of retaliation? Had they all forgotten and had to die because of that? Maybe it was best to forget them.
"Something has to be done." Boba determined into the heavy silence. "Or it will happen again."
"Are you sure?" Tehra leaned back, fingers tapping hard on the table.
He was right. Deep down she knew it was true. Something was tugging at her mind telling her that worse was coming. Ice coated the back of her neck, sending small spiky veins down to her bones.
"I can sense it." She heard herself saying. "More will happen that is connected."
Tehra deflated, hand gripping the groove between her montrals just as Boba pinched his mouth so hard, it disappeared. Even now he did not like her talking about the Force. Sometimes he would not even react at all when she merely mentioned what she sensed. Why she was trying still was beyond her. Still, the Force was a large part of who she was. She couldn't just push it away forever.
"Then" – Tehra lifted her head, sending her a tentative smile – "we need to be more vigilant. If you sense anything more, tell us."
Boba did not twitch a muscle. Did not even look at her, as if he was not listening to any word they were saying. That conversation was a time bomb ticking away and neither of them wanted to defuse it. Hopefully it would not obliterate everything when it did.
"Of course." She nodded at Tehra, her head impossibly heavy. "When should we get moving?"
"The funeral is not for an hour still." Boba said slightly annoyed.
Tehra was already rising from her chair when she stopped in surprise. "You do not want to meet with the others?"
"Feels too early." Boba muttered making no movement to get up.
"Everything is too early." Tehra sighed. "And you will need time to send him off."
To this Boba said nothing. More jaw clenching and looking down on his hands on the table. Everything was too early… that was too true. Farewells were never easy and… she felt her nose closing up, she still had to say hers to Soren. She had forgotten to do this… and shame stabbed her chest every time it crossed her mind.
How could she have forgotten him? The shame she felt was forced, like a duty she bore around. He had been her friend! Her only friend after she had lost everyone. Even if he had tried to kill her. That friendship had to count for something…. At least just enough for her to forgive and give him a send-off. Light a small statue that had showed something they had loved, set it on fire and let it float in a body of water. While forgiving and wishing their spirit eternal rest. Soren had once told her about certain figures in his people's culture that were forbidden from having these send-offs. Or it took years for someone to forgive and let go.
Maybe it was time for her to do so? After the funeral maybe? Tehra's face changed then, focused on her all the while sad and tired. Understanding swam around her. She knew.
"Come on" – Altharya muttered to Boba, getting up as well – "The sooner you do this the better."
"Not you too." Boba groaned, then with a defeated crinkle of his nose. "Fine…"
Slowly he got up, stretching his back with cracks audibly in several places. For a week now he had been too tense. Cramped muscles and constant headache. Nothing she could do… except wait. Medicines only got one so far before it became an addiction. Tehra got up as well then, grabbing the bag she had hanging on her chair. Silver ornaments that hung around her lekku and montrals glittered as she moved.
Sighing, Altharya followed them outside. The entire town would be present from what Tehra had said. Both Rishii and bounty hunters would be there. Lanterns were hooded with grey cloth, white flowers littered the street as black capes and scarves fluttered in the wind. Her own clothes were held black and grey as requested. No one talked, no children dared to laugh. Only silence reigned over the streets. A mute helplessness drowning out any loud noises.
It would be in a small bay that the lake had carved into the mountain side. A part she had been told was popular for the Rishii to play in this time of the year. The waterfall was far enough away to not have developed a merciless current yet, but still there was a barrier where the lake turned into a river. Now it'd have Rion's and Lireth's ashes sprinkled into it which will be swept down into the valley.
No one from their families would be present. Rion had no one anyone had been aware of while Lireth's mother had started to laugh at the news according to Tehra. It was sad… but at least an entire town turned up to pay their respects. To not be mourned in death? Seemed so… lonely. As if one had never existed.
There was already a crowd where the bay went into the water. Bounty hunters formed a circle around a platform above the water that held two urns. Three Rishii stood behind them, decked in strings of beads and antlers on top of their heads. Their yellow eyes scanned over each gathered head. Ones that were lowered in a cloud of grief and questions.
Questions that burned in some, while it simmered in others eating away. It prickled at her skin, the hair on her neck stood on end and she slowed in her steps. They all seemed to suspect foul play as well. As soon as they reached the crest of a small hill that had a path leading down to the platform, Boba leaned down right next to her ear. "You can stay here. We will not be long."
"Will you be alright?" She asked as quietly as she could.
"I will be." He squeezed her shoulder in some sort of comfort. "See you in a bit."
She nodded and he tilted his head slightly, sending her a strained smile. Then he walked down the hill, armour polished and the black cape swinging with each step. Had spent hours before they had left for Tehra cleaning and smearing armour oil into the clasps and junctions.
"What do you sense?" Tehra asked quietly as she pretended to adjust one of her ornaments.
"Questions… Grief" – Altharya squinted her eyes against the blinding sun light that was reflected from the lake as the sun now peeked through a cloud – "I fear those are the same questions we are asking."
"Figured." Tehra muttered. "Wait here. Down there is the immediate circle Rion and Lireth had. See what you can sense."
With that she left her standing on the hill, stopping next to Boba who held his helmet against his hip.
See what she could sense…. Easier said than done, it was all a giant mist of grief that obscured most of the other emotions and thoughts. Crossing her arms, she watched the backs that were turned to her. More questions… more grief…
Relief? What? Frowning slightly she tried to locate where it was coming from. But its light beating vanished within her next exhale. Clamped down underneath all the other emotions. Definitely had been there. So they had been right. But why? Why Rion? What had happened? Had he known something he should not have? Or done something? There were too many questions and no answers in sight.
A stone settled into her gut. If this was anything to go by. The chill that chased away the warmth of summer…. More was lurking underneath the surface. More 'accidents'. More deaths with how hollow her chest suddenly felt.
Silence weighed heavily on her lungs when the Rishii with the tallest antlers stepped forward, their beads shimmered blue and their feather had a purple tint. What was said or if anything was said at all she did not hear anything. But she felt a sense of comfort falling on the people around her, like a soothing blanket almost.
For a long while nothing else happened. The wind had stopped. Nothing moved as if time was held in stasis. Her finger tips prickled making them twitch as pent up energy fled into them. Then with a stuttering start the wind started again.
In that moment, another Rishii with green beads stepped forward. They spread their wings and flapped once and lifted off gracefully. Claws wrapped around the urns and they soared over the lake, grey trails falling down behind them. It was over. Not what she had expected. But it fit the town and its people. Quiet and without much ceremony. It fit almost painfully so.
Maybe she could have this send-off? Tehra was not right… the only way to escape the Empire's and Sith's grasp was to die. No running or hiding would change that.
She only hoped that it would be quick. There was still time to make peace with herself until then. If only she could tell anyone… or even have the chance to say goodbye to Struhn and maybe Renstan. Would be nice to see them again. One last time and the first time together after so long.
People below her started to disperse, heads still lowered and the spaces in between larger than a universe. Standing on her tip toes she tried to see where Boba and Tehra were, the moving mass had obscured them.
Emmet was talking to them. Stars… hopefully she did not go invisible around him again. Slowly she skidded down the hill, making her way to them through the oncoming people. Worms crawled beneath her skin the closer she drew. Now was not the time! Gritting her teeth, she forced the feeling down.
"Al" – Boba shifted to her as soon as he noticed her approach – "Emmet has organised a small gathering to remember Lerith and Rion."
"I will be hosting it at my house." Emmet added cordially.
His tone was like oil coating water sending shudders up her spine. Digging her fingers into her sleeves, she forced a smile. The less he suspected her the better.
"Do you want to go?" She asked Boba who sighed in response.
"It is customary to celebrate a dead one's life. Rememberance."
"Alright." She looked at Tehra.
"I am going." Tehra had a closed off look on her face.
"Will come too." Boba rubbed the back of his neck. "I need to sort out a few things before I do though."
"Is fine by me." Emmet shrugged. "This will go on for a long time."
"Figured." Boba huffed. "Would be surprised if they are all still around at midnight."
Emmet rolled his eyes and was already turning when he said: "See you then."
Hands in pocket, shoulders hunched forward and mind blank. Strange, but before she could say anything Boba's exasperated sigh made her turn around.
Boba shook his head. "More like a pity gathering for all bounty hunters since we were all reminded that we all die early."
Tehra shot him an annoyed look, but said nothing.
"Do you think you will?" Altharya shot at him with her chin raised.
"It is the life I have always known." Boba shrugged her off, bitterness now lying in her mouth. "I need space, Al, Tehra."
With that he stomped off, away from them and not in the direction Emmet had left in. Leaving Tehra and her standing near where the water now crashed against the rocks violently.
"He will come around. Give him a bit." Tehra sighed, shaking her head now as well.
"Did not sound like something he would put away easily." Altharya commented staring at Boba's retreating back.
"Wouldn't expect it to." Tehra shifted on her feet. "It is this time of the year again."
Altharya gave her a quizzical look.
"His father's death anniversary."
"Oh." Altharya shivered. "That…"
"He rarely ever talks about it, so you couldn't have known." Tehra re-adjusted her bag strap over her shoulder. "Best not to bother him until he approaches you. Either way" – Tehra's tone had gained sharp edges – "Did you sense anything?"
"Lots of questions, grief" – Altharya swallowed before continuing quietly – "There was relief."
"Relief?" Tehra's eyes had darkened as she muttered to herself. "Not good… not good at all."
"What do we do now?"
"For now? Observe and then we move."
"Patience was never something I excelled in." Altharya snorted derisively.
"It's a taught trait." Tehra briefly patted her shoulder. "There are situations where it is called for and in some where it is detrimental. We have no idea what is truly going on and us busting through a wall with our heads will do no one any good."
"I sense more will happen."
"We can keep an eye out for it." Tehra breathed sharply through her teeth. "Without much proof we cannot move."
"I could…"
"Not today." Tehra faced her with a cold critical look. "Remember who you lost, you might not get another chance to."
Altharya frowned at the Togruta who gave her a reluctant sad smile. Then it dawned on her. Today eleven years ago was when the Jedi Purge had begun. When white-armoured men had stormed the temple and had mowed everything down that moved. What was the point to remind her? Her tongue was now stuck to the roof of her dry mouth. Forgetting was the only way. She had nearly forgotten and could have moved on finally!
What was the point?
"I know when someone is forgetting what they lost." Tehra's words were hard and cold as steel. "If you truly wish to survive this galaxy: Remember and Learn."
Before Altharya could ask more, Tehra waved and started to walk away leaving no room for any questions. Alone on the crest of the hill, Altharya released a breath that had pent up inside. What now? All directions were open to her.
Remember and learn…. What was there to learn? Learn to never use the Force? Learn to hide better? Why was it so hard to speak plainly? What good would it do for her to remember? Struhn had warned her that remembering could mean losing oneself in hatred. Who was left to be avenged? The Jedi were gone, the Republic was gone! Soren was gone too because of her.
Probably not what Tehra meant. The water paused mid-wave when she breathed in and then hit the rock with her frustrated exhale. Fine! Why give her cryptic messages that could easily misinterpreted from what was actually meant? If she didn't know any better Tehra could have easily be one of the Jedi Masters. Everything happened for a reason and everything was connected….
Wait. A little whisper tugged at the back of her mind. Connected for a reason? What? That made no sense and surely not what Tehra had meant. She wanted to tear her hair out. Should she remember the smell of death in the corners of Coruscant? The screams that had stuck in her head for weeks? Nothing in any of them to learn from.
And how was it connected to Soren? His reasons had been clear: Save her from Vader by killing her. Might have been for the best if he hadn't hesitated. But he could have brought her to the rebellion? Why take the most extreme route? Why was she regarded as so valuable to the Sith and dangerous to the Rebellion? Was this what Tehra had meant? Or why the Jedi were gone?
Why wouldn't the rebellion want a former Jedi? From what Struhn had told her it was struggling to keep support steady. Soren could have just taken her there! If he had wanted her to live…. After all she had been his friend first and foremost. Right? Even with his distrust and disgust towards the Jedi… had that been the reason? His hatred overriding any other options so she would not become what Vader would want her to be? Or have her become something else he would still hate? Oh Soren… what had he been thinking?
Learn… what was there to learn? That any friendship could be burned to ashes? Any type of bond? Was that why the Jedi had to die? The men that had fought with them in a war must have had a reason! A big one. One no one had seen coming.
Would she ever know? No. So why bother?
But Struhn had always told her that one had to learn from mistakes, lest they be repeated. The Jedi had done a lot of mistakes… too many and ones she was slowly learning. Were they why Struhn had been tight-lipped about them? Should she have demanded answers? Instead she had been patient, or complacent? Was this what she was supposed to learn? To demand answers in the face of silence?
Was she to hate Soren? No… that would be learning nothing. She might never understand his reasons, but she could try and empathise. Never hate…. Never Soren. Maybe it was time to do what she had forgotten to do: give him a send-off he deserved as her friend. Even if it would be rudimentary given she had to weave a small object that she associated with him. The body of water would be no problem… could she use the reeds that grew near where Boba's house was?
Her feet took her down the now empty streets, solemn spaces opening up left and right. Her own mind was blank, blissfully so. The reeds were easy to break when she arrived at the spot she had discovered one day. Easy to bend and shape into a tiny boat too… something Soren used to dream about. Just a water ship he could use to sail across any ocean. By then the wind had subsided where she was.
How often had they woven these small boats in their free afternoons and thrown them down a river in the valley? This one was not as sturdy, but it would hold until it was burned completely. Carefully she placed it down into a shallower part of the lake. It bopped up and down while she held her hand over it.
She hadn't gotten that far in her planning. Making fire with the Force? Though, she pursed her lips, oxygen was around and… all she needed was a spark. Friction and the reeds were flammable still at the top. How could she hope to do that if she even struggled to move one leaf? Maybe one try? Waving her hand rapidly over the boat, she waited holding her breath.
Nothing happened and she got up, wading in to grab the object.
A trail of smoke burst forth, bright orange flame shooting up behind it. The reeds crackled. She had done it? If so… she tentatively moved her wrist sending the boat floating forward.
She did do it…. More ashes to add, but every end had a beginning.
Light feathers brushed against her cheeks. Someone cleared their throat behind. Turning around she saw Boba standing there, less tense with his grief only hovering above his shoulders fleeing away.
"Hey." She called out moving out of the water.
"What were you doing?" He tilted his head in curiosity, staring at the small smoke trail.
"Saying farewell."
"To whom?"
"A friend." She found herself smiling, turning around to look after the small boat that was fully engulfed in flames now. "His people say their farewells to their dead in this way."
Boba hummed before asking. "When did he die?"
"You killed him on Teth." She muttered, drawing her shoulders inwards.
"The one who tried to kill you?" Boba frowned down at her.
"Yes."
"Why are you grieving over him?"
"He had been my friend once. Even if he tried to kill me, but that is the point of forgiveness."
For a long moment Boba said nothing, watching with her when the boat started to spin rapidly in one place.
"Altharya" – Boba then started full of hesitation – "Do you want to know how I found you?"
She nodded, not looking at him.
"When I was first given the bounty, I already knew that he worked for the Rebellion and hated the Jedi just as much as I do… did. I let your name slip to him… thought he'd tell someone in the Rebellion and they'd mount a rescue and all I had to do was to follow. Never thought he'd grab his ship and a few others."
"He didn't want me to become what he hated. His way of caring about me I suppose? Can't blame him for that." Altharya shrugged.
"People were murdered for less." Boba muttered.
She raised an eyebrow at him and he huffed a quick laugh.
"Might not be the best person to talk." He conceded.
"What now? This was clearly not an accident."
"Observe." Boba replied slowly. "Whoever it was will be lying low for now. If we do anything, they will know and either run or move against us."
"Then more will happen." Even her own voice sounded so hollow.
"It always does." Boba wrapped an around her shoulder, placing his head on top of hers. "Nothing is ever truly over."