Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.

Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.

A huge thank you to RedSummer - Beta Extraordinaire!

Mathias's POV

Edward took Nessie from the room and I felt bereft. Wistfully, I watched him carry the sleeping child up the stairs.

"Put her in our bed, Edward. I think we're going to be here all night anyway," Esme called softly after him. They had beds? What on earth for?

It wasn't long before he came back and slid onto the sofa next to Bella. He smiled at her with such love in his eyes that I felt jealous that he'd managed to bring his love with him into this life.

"Please, tell me about Nessie," I pleaded. I had to know.

"She was a surprise – a very big and very scary surprise. The pregnancy nearly killed Bella many times over and we nearly lost her after the birth as Bella was human throughout. It was only luck that we managed to change her in time," Edward started to explain, but I cut him off.

"No, back up a bit. How did she happen?" I asked, but not very clearly, I wasn't sure what I was asking.

"We'd come to a compromise over my change. Edward wanted me to stay human; I wanted to become a vampire. He promised to change me if I married him; I promised to stay human longer if we had a proper honeymoon. Alice organised it all and it was fantastic. But at the end of the honeymoon I felt ill and thought I might be pregnant. We came home quickly and Carlisle diagnosed it. Rosalie looked after me though it, but I suffered many broken bones, bruises and internal bleeding. I barely survived," Bella explained matter-of-factly, but emotions played across her face as she spoke.

"Okay, but how did you get pregnant?" I asked. She'd completely avoided the important part.

Emmett gave me a strange look and then answered for her. "The same way humans do."

I thought for a moment, vaguely remembering time I'd spent with Eleanor. "Is that possible for a vampire?" I asked.

Emmett burst out laughing, looking more shocked than amused. "Oh, man. You have SO got to get laid!"

"Emmett!" scolded Esme, looking embarrassed at his outburst.

"Yes, Mathias," Carlisle cut in, silencing Emmett with a harsh look, "it is possible, but among those who drink human blood it's generally considered a poor substitute compared to the pleasure derived from hunting. We have found that when you share it with the one you love, the emotions and feelings are intensified, and we derive what satisfaction we don't get from the hunt in that way."

Emmett opened his mouth to speak, but both Carlisle and Esme stared him down.

"Oh. I hadn't thought of that. I didn't think it was possible, and I haven't spent much time with others of our kind. It seemed safer that way," I tried to explain my ignorance.

I looked at Edward and Bella and wondered how he'd managed to do that with Bella still human. He seemed to know the question forming in my mind. It must have been written across my face.

"Only with extreme self-control, and even then Bella didn't come through it unscathed. I was actually surprised that no bones got broken, but her body was smothered with deep bruises. With a fraction less control I would have killed her. Nessie is so special, and her kind so rare, because most of the time the mothers don't survive long enough to give birth. Bella is the only one we know of that has survived the birth itself, and that was only just, even though she was under the care of a highly skilled doctor." Edward's words carried a harsh warning.

I finally appreciated how special Nessie was and why it was so hard for the Volturi to believe her parentage until faced with irrefutable proof. I knew I couldn't even begin to think about gaining a family in that way. My gaze drifted to Rosalie who appeared to be sleeping against Emmett's shoulder.

"What about Rosalie?" I asked.

"Now, that is a whole different story," Emmett replied in a choked voice and pulled Rosalie close to his side.

Alice looked at him sympathetically, and then took over the story. "We'd gone out to hunt and were running though the forest when a Southern vampire by the name of Maria, and two of her newborns, attacked us. We managed to hold them off until the others arrived, but Rosalie was torn apart," Alice recounted. Emmett looked down into Rosalie's eyes and I could see the remembered pain and fear on his face. No wonder he was so protective. The Cullens all looked uncomfortable as Alice continued.

"We managed to destroy the newborns, but Maria escaped into the sea. We had to spend a long time putting Rosalie back together again, but the whole time she was in extreme pain. When we got back to the house she needed a lot of blood to complete the healing, animal blood doesn't work the same way human blood does. It was about two weeks after that we found she was pregnant, it's bought other changes, too – her eyes, she can sleep, and eat human food. It's progressing fast, just like Bella's pregnancy did. She'll be due in about two weeks."

"So you have to be ripped apart to get pregnant?" I asked, absolutely aghast. I'd thought that human mothers had it bad, but if a vampire mother had to go through that, then I couldn't imagine anyone would willingly subject themselves to the torture.

"No. That's just what happened to trigger our discovery. It's still uncertain and highly experimental," Carlisle answered.

"So with your discovery, anyone could get pregnant and carry a baby?" I queried. Hope fluttered painfully in my chest.

"In the future that may be a possibility, but not right now. It's not something that can be shared yet," said Carlisle cautiously.

My head began to whirl and Edward and Jasper tensed. I tried to calm myself and took deep breaths, but my nose suddenly burnt and I saw a native boy standing in the doorway. He smelt like the wolves.

"Okay, so in the future anyone can get pregnant?" I asked again.

Carlisle looked uncomfortable, but answered my question. "No, not anyone. Only those willing to commit to harsh guidelines – no human blood ever again, for the parents or the child. On pain of death."

Before I knew what had happened I was pacing, Emmett had shoved Rosalie behind his back, and Edward and Jasper sat on the edge of their seats, tense and wary, as if poised to fight. Carlisle just looked shocked. They held the knowledge I needed to have my own family, but were not willing to share it. The unfairness of the situation cut into me. Conceiving a child was something that anyone could do, but they'd cast themselves in the role of God and were choosing not to share it. My anger flared.

"WHAT? WHY? How can you impose such harsh conditions? Ones that could ultimately lead to your own family's death? Do you think you are the only ones who want a family so badly? How can you possibly think that you can keep this a secret?" I shouted out harshly.

Carlisle stood to face my accusations. "Because, Mathias, I do not condone the taking of human life, and I fully support the conditions that have been put in place, no matter what the outcome of this pregnancy may be. It is not our secret to divulge. The details will remain secret and go with me to my funeral pyre before I would share it with someone I do not deem worthy." He kept his voice calm, but his teeth were gritted tight together

"NO! You can't play GOD and pick and choose!" I hurled back at him. I was shaking now.

"Unfortunately for you, I can and I will. I would like you to leave now please, Mathias. I don't believe this conversation is going anywhere." He answered coldly.

"NO!" I replied equally coldly and held my ground.

"Please don't make us forcibly remove you, Mathias. I understand your depth of feeling, but this is not something I can offer at the moment. Maybe never. That is just the situation."

"You cannot know my feelings, you cannot know my mind. How dare you presume to know me!" I growled back at him.

"That is exactly what we do know, Mathias. We have gifts of our own," Edward said calmly. "We know how close you are to the edge, we know how much you miss your wife and child and how you tried and failed to save her. This is not a way to replace them. You can never replace Eleanor, you know that."

"ENOUGH!" I bellowed, furious that he had taken Eleanor from my mind. I saw the native boy leap and instinctively let my own gift lash out. I registered the surprise on Edward, Jasper and Alice's faces. Then the boy landed in a crouch, shaking, looking at me with hate in his eyes.

Ha! It worked on werewolves too! That was one to remember. Normality. Everyone reduced to normality. It certainly levelled the playing field.

Jasper approached me slowly, speaking softly, menacingly. "We don't want to kill you, Mathias. Leave us peacefully, keep our secret, and we will find you should our situation ever change. Fight us and you will die. Your gift will not save you."

I had no idea how I was still alive. My fury was abating, and I remembered the little girl's light touch on my face. I drew my gift back inside me and watched in fascination as the native boy suddenly exploded into the sandy wolf I'd seen on my first encounter. He snarled viciously, but did not attack.

"The reason you're still alive is because you don't really mean to harm us. That child sleeping upstairs is indeed the symbol of what you could have if you changed your lifestyle and waited, but we can't make promises with regard to that," Edward said in a tight voice. His hands were clenched at his sides.

"We need you to leave now, Mathias. Please calm yourself and think of your options. If you betray us we will know and we will kill you," Jasper said coldly. "We will not risk our family, and right now that is what you crave a part of more than anything in the world. Think about it."

I took one last look at the scars that smothered him and did not doubt his words. They held a secret of mine now, too. They'd felt and seen my gift in action.

"A secret for a secret. Keep my name and gift to yourselves, and I will keep yours," I offered.

"Accepted," Carlisle replied and then I turned and fled.

I sensed the presence of the wolves following me right up to the border. The sandy wolf, the boy I'd seen, crossed after me and snarled his fury. I lashed out at him with my gift and he crashed to the ground as a naked boy again.

"I have no intention of attacking you, but I will defend myself, understand?"

Before he could speak, I pulled my gift back inside and he exploded into wolf again, with his ears back and hackles raised.

"Understand?"

The wolf stood his ground, and I left. He didn't follow.

~o~

I slipped back through the door of the motel, fully expecting the Southerner to have moved on, but found that her scent still hung heavily about the place and that the old man's body had been moved. She burst through the door at the bottom of the stairs.

"So, you deigned to return have you, my silent one?" she hissed. She appeared to be barely restraining her fury.

"I want a shower," I stated coldly, pushing out my gift to cut off any attempt at manipulation she might try.

"I want answers. I want to know what you found out."

"Later. Right now, I want a shower." I pushed past her and started up the stairs. I heard her scream of frustration and in a moment she stood in front of me again.

"You leave with barely a word, disappear for two weeks leaving that foul stinking carrion downstairs, and expect to waltz back in here without a saying a single thing about what happened. What do you take me for?"

"I don't take you for anything. It was your choice to stay or go. I did this for my benefit, not yours. If you want to know what I know, then you will wait until I'VE HAD A SHOWER!"

I pushed past her to my room and saw that she'd forced the lock. I pushed the door shut behind me anyway. The lock was nothing more than a token when she could just as easily walk straight through the wall.

I stripped and turned on the shower then stood beneath it trying to warm my body. I heard the Southerner crashing around in her room, obviously annoyed that I hadn't disclosed everything the moment I'd stepped through the door. Maria. That's who she must be. She'd had the tang of salt upon her when we'd first met, and Alice had said Maria had been driven into the sea. I needed to watch myself around her if she was an enemy of the Cullens, as I desperately wanted the secret they held. I decided to leave Maria without divulging their secret and give the vegetarian lifestyle a try.

I let the water run down my back and thought of Eleanor, thought of our baby, and then tried to recall the actually getting pregnant part. I remembered some of the sensations as they were similar to the release I experienced when hunting human prey. I couldn't really remember the mechanics of it, the actual act of making love. I looked down at that neglected part of my anatomy and wondered.

I ran my fingers down it, curious about the reactions my touch caused, then grasped it and gently pushed it though my fingers. I suddenly remembered Eleanor holding me in the same way and felt myself harden. I squeezed gently, and then ran my hand up it again as it grew harder still under my grasp. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the intense feelings that I hadn't experienced in far too many years. It wasn't long before I had to hold myself up against the wall, my legs grew weak as my climax grew. I was pumping myself hard, squeezing and twisting to entice new pleasure from the movements. In my mind I was with Eleanor. I knew I was groaning and crying out, but didn't care. I shouted her name when the fire ripped through me and I finally came.

I rest my head against the wall, gasping for breath. It was powerful – that was for sure. Whether that was because I still had animal blood in my veins, I didn't know.

"I could have helped you, you know." Maria said silkily from the door. "I'm quite practiced at relieving tension."

The sound made me jump. I felt violated by her presence and wondered just how long she'd been standing there. Damn that Southerner. I pushed past her back into my room in search of a towel.

"Here you go," she said as she held one out to me. I stepped closer to snatch it from her and in that moment she grabbed hold of my flaccid penis. She began teasing expertly to get a rise out of me. My body betrayed me instantly having so recently been reawakened from its three hundred and fifty year slumber. I tried to push her away but her grip was solid and I only succeeded in causing myself pain.

She pulled me to the bed by my now hardened member, flicked her skirt up her back and leant over the bed. She was naked underneath. I became angry and leant forward to grab her hair. I pulled a great fistful towards me, forcing her back to arch painfully. She gasped, but it wasn't a pained sound. She actually liked being hurt?

"I do NOT want you," I hissed in her ear. "I do NOT love you and I will NOT do this. Do you understand?"

"Oh, but you do. I can feel how much you want to. This isn't about love. This is about fucking," she growled back as she pushed her naked ass hard against me and rubbed so I slid between her legs and against her wet folds. I tried to pull away but she clamped her thighs tightly together, trapping me painfully in place.

I pushed her head away from me, roughly grasped her hips, and tried pull away. The efforts only made me grow harder still. My frustration grew – I shouldn't have come back here.

"Let me go!" I growled.

"I can feel you. You want this as much as I do," she purred and then with a deft movement of her hips she sheathed my length. My legs nearly buckled and I couldn't prevent the moan that escaped my lips. She shot an evil smile over her shoulder and rocked against me. I pushed her face down away from me. I felt nothing for her and didn't want to see her smug expression as I started to move against her.

"Arghh. Oh, Eleanor!" I moaned quietly to myself.

Her head shot up and she glared at me. "Maria! The name you will scream when you come is MARIA!" she said with venom in her tone. I felt her tentative manipulations, but let them be. Who cared what name I called? I grabbed a fist full of hair and pulled her up against me.

"Maria." I snarled and then thrust hard into her, taking everything I wanted from her. I pounded against her, lost, as my climax built. I felt her clamping and shuddering around me and that sent me over the edge into a powerful orgasm. Bizarrely, I had the sudden thought that Emmett had been right, I'd SO needed to get laid. "MARIA!" I snarled as I came, and then stood panting behind her as the powerful sensations from my climax dissipated.

I felt her subtle manipulations wrapped around me, each one no more substantial than a silken thread, and I looked at her beneath me; the white flesh contorted uncomfortably backwards, my fingers tangled in her dark hair, the malevolent sparkle in her eyes and her sharp teeth biting into her lip, enjoying the pain.

That wasn't what I wanted. Suddenly disgusted at myself, I felt dirty and manipulated. Roughly shoving away from her body, I lashed out with my gift and slashed away her tentative bonds. I slammed the bathroom door behind me and stepped beneath the shower, turning on the water again, as hot as it would go, trying to cleanse myself of her touch.

She was right there, abruptly pressed against my back. She ran one sharp nail down my spine and wrapped her silky intentions around my mind. I turned to push her away, but she dropped to her knees in front of me, her fast excited breaths washed over my flaccid member and the primal core of me responded, hardened, and betrayed me yet again. I drew in a breath to form the words that would drive her away, and gathered my normality around me to whip out and sever her tenuous hold over me.

Her mouth swiftly enclosed me, drawing me in until I could feel the back of her throat at my very tip. The words died on my lips, and my breath rushed out in a groan I couldn't suppress. She pulled back, fondling my balls and rubbing my shaft. My knees and my will weakened. As she slammed back onto me, she took me deep into her throat. My will was shattered and I was hers.

Her silken threads of manipulation wrapped into many layers around me. Whilst each one on its own was as insubstantial as a spider's web, their combined strength was just enough to hold me. I could have cleaved them in a moment if I'd wanted to; but like a fly captured and bound by a spider, I was completely at her mercy. I laced my fingers into her hair, and did exactly as I was told, many times over, for the rest of the night.

Sorry for the delay in updates, real life is intervening in my writing time. That, and the fact the sun is out and the fresh air is beckoning! But don't worry; I've plenty of chapters lined up to keep you ticking over throughout the summer holidays.

Please, please review. K :o)