Magic in the Moonlight
CHAPTER Twenty One
"But nothing I have seen in the world has supported your pronouncements that love is more powerful than my kind of magic, Dumbledore."
"Perhaps you have been looking in the wrong places." - Albus Dumbledore & Voldemort, the Half Blood Prince
To say the story Sirius Black told her was a surprise was the understatement of the century. She listened silently as he recounted everything that had happened after she had alerted him to danger with her patronus, even including his previous worries about something being wrong with Peter. Why had she not considered the boy who had always been in James and Sirius' shadow? When he told her that James and Lily had made Peter their secret keeper by his request, Lyra couldn't help but wish she had known.
"I trusted the wrong person and blamed those I should not have," Sirius admitted glaring down at the ground, looking somewhat better after cleaning up and raiding her fridge for something to eat, "could you ever forgive me?"
Sighing, Lyra ran a hand over her face tiredly, the night was drawing closer and so was her transformation, "of course Sirius, the War took it out of a lot of us, and I believe you, I can't believe I didn't see it myself. Peter was always trying his best to stay out of trouble but was probably trying not to draw attention to himself…and he's still alive but at Hogwarts?" Sirius nodded.
"I'd ask for your help but just having you believe me is enough," he grinned lopsidedly, "and I don't want you getting in trouble for helping me."
"It wouldn't be the first or last time," she chuckled before shuddering, glancing outside as the sky darkened, "ugh, is it that time already?"
Sirius glanced between her and the window suddenly very aware of the date, "have you been taking that Wolfsbane potion?"
"Yeah no worries," she stood with a stretch, "you can stay upstairs if you want," she flicked her wand at the front door locking it and setting up a few protective and silencing charms.
Scoffing, the escaped prisoner sent her a winning smirk.
"Don't mind me, you forget we used to do this without that potion."
She cringed as she recalled before motioning for him to turn around, "fine but I'm not having you watching me strip. Any peeking and I will hex you."
He held up his hands in surrender but was still grinning as he turned and faced the wall. Her transformation went well, still feeling the pain of her body changing shape but not nearly as unbearable as it used to be, and within moments she was on all fours, nudging Sirius' back with her snout almost making him stumble forwards.
"Damn, I swear you've gotten bigger," Sirius eyed her up but not as if she was a monster like she was used to being looked at.
He patted her head to which she growled at quietly making him twitch back for a moment before laughing as she grinned at him wolfishly. She leapt into the seat she had vacated and curled up as best as she could in the large armchair, listening to him as he started recalling their adventures as kids. He talked about anything really, other than his time in Azkaban, clearly wishing to forget about such times and recall much fonder memories. Lyra was happy to listen, merely watching him with a golden gaze, occasionally flicking her tail whenever she agreed with him.
As the night gave way to morning, Lyra turned back with a shudder, quickly pulling on her clothes as Sirius turned away once again. Feeling shattered, she yawned and fell back into her chair with a wince despite her growling stomach.
"You sit there and I'll get you something," Sirius offered not allowing her to get up.
"Thanks," she grumbled tiredly closing her eyes for a moment before opening them to find a rather well made sandwich held out to her, "I'm surprised you stayed up all night, I was waiting for you to go to sleep so I could have some fun."
"I've slept plenty lately trust me," he huffed lightly as he all but threw himself back onto the sofa, "sometimes there's not much else for me to do other than catch some shut-eye in an alley."
Chuckling, she ate it gratefully before settling down ready to fall asleep when there was a knock at her door. Lyra visibly paled. Sirius darted towards the curtained windows, peering between a crack before cursing.
"Shit, it's Dumbledore."
"Back door," she quickly shoved him towards it, "and be careful will you? No more trying to break into the Gryffindor common room, you scared poor Ron out of his mind last time."
"I'll try but no promises," he smirked before giving her a quick one armed hug, "take care of yourself too Lyra."
Watching him turn into his dog form and take off running through the village, she headed back to the front door, unlocking it with her wand before opening it. Indeed Dumbledore stood there a smile on his face and although she tried her best not to worry as he glanced around her house behind her, she couldn't help but think he knew who had just been in her home.
"How are you Lyra?" he asked curiously, "I heard you visited your cousin for Christmas."
"Yes, Molly was happy to see me although not happy that we kept it a secret that I was still around."
"Ah yes, it was unfortunate but necessary as I keep reminding you. Now then, if you are up to it we shall return to Hogwarts, I believe that Remus was most worried about you."
Even though in all honesty she wanted to go to sleep, she nodded and left her home, surprised when he held out an arm for her, clearly understanding she didn't really have the strength to apparate. Clasping his arm, they vanished, appearing inside Hogwarts, one of the Headmaster's perks before leading her to the kitchens.
"Now I suggest we first fill you up, you look starving my dear."
"Well I had a sandwich," she argued weakly, even though it had been food it was hardly substantial for her hunger, but that didn't make her any less grateful to Sirius.
After opening the portrait to the kitchen, House elves clambered round determined to help the two.
"Could you kindly send up some dinner to Professor Lupin's rooms for two," Dumbledore asked the nearest house elves with a kind smile.
"Of course Headmaster! Right away Headmaster!" they eagerly bound away to follow the orders before smiling at Lyra who nodded gratefully.
Making her way through the deserted hallways, the students not due back for a week, Lyra almost shuffled her way onto the third floor.
"Sometimes I hate how big this place is," she grumbled to herself.
"You are back early."
Jumping at the voice, Lyra actually stumbled and had to hold the wall to stop herself from falling over, looking back to see Severus stood there looking somewhat amused at her clumsiness.
"Merlin! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" she sighed, "yes, Albus seems to think I'm unable to look after myself. I was just heading to Remus' office for my dinner…" suddenly a sense of awkwardness fell over her as she recalled their last conversation, but the weight on her wrist made her speak once more, "you could come join us you know."
His eyes darkened slightly and he seemed ready to turn away and leave until his eyes caught something glint in the corner of his eye. Looking at her right wrist he noticed the silver charm bracelet in its rightful place and his eyes softened slightly. Perhaps they could forget about their last conversation and pick up the pieces of their friendship?
"I suppose someone must make sure to make it around the castle in one piece…" he replied finally a little slowly, clearly wondering if he was making the right choice, but judging by the growing smile on Lyra's face, he had.
The pair carried on their way towards Remus' quarters, barely knocking when Remus answered it looking a little ragged and tired like herself, but brightening at the sight of her. Worry melting away from his features as he gave her a quick once over with his eyes.
"I was beginning to worry," he started but she cut him off with a chuckle.
"So Albus said, you worry too much."
Only then did he notice the dark robed man that stood a little to the side with a scowl on his face once more. He looked surprised to see the potion's master with her, "Severus?"
"I asked him along," Lyra smiled happily, "please tell me dinner's been sent up, I feel like I could eat a Hippogriff."
"I hope not literally or Hagrid would have some words."
The pair entered his office and the smell of food almost overloaded her thoughts. With a quick forward apology, she dug into her meal that had been set out on the small table in the centre of the room almost frantically. Severus arched an eyebrow at her.
"Is she always like this after the full moon?"
"Oh yes," Remus chuckled weakly but he stood stiffly beside Severus, "trust me when I say you have not seen the worst of it."
"I can hear you," Lyra shot him a playful glare before sitting backwards with a content sigh, feeling a little better now, "so how have your holidays been so far Severus?"
The potion's master looked a little awkward before he seated himself, Remus sitting close beside her as he helped himself to his own meal.
"It was nothing special…"
Lyra arched an eyebrow wondering if he really expected her to believe he had done nothing at all. Maybe she had been a little daring when she had invited him to join them considering he was not the natural conversationalist in a surrounding he didn't want to be in. It probably didn't help that Remus had taken up some sort of protectiveness beside of her, Lyra was awfully aware that he was sat between her and Severus.
"So you've not been working on anything at all?"
"Well…" he admitted after a short pause, "I have been trying to adapt the Wolfsbane potion for a better taste."
She brightened up at this, "Really? Wow, still I should have known you'd be able to make the Wolfsbane potion so easily, being your potions partner for years really made me feel inferior," she chuckled as he snorted, seeming to relax somewhat at the easy subject.
"That was because you were terrible, I cannot fathom how you passed your Auror training."
"Many sleepless nights I assure you," she cringed at the memory.
Remus smiled softly as they continued their conversation, talking mostly about the old days but expertly avoiding the topic of Lily. He chose to remain silent, eating slower than Lyra, instead watching the two interact, and noticing that there was something in Severus' eyes that he had never seen before. He was enjoying their nostalgic conversation. He couldn't quite forgive the man though for his words, or lack of, to Lyra when she had opened up her heart to him. Remus would be damned if he let Severus hurt her more.
However their weariness was quickly becoming apparent as Lyra looked far too comfortable in her seat, her eyes half closing until Remus chuckled.
"I'm surprised you've stayed awake so long."
"I'm not tired…" she muttered but clearly was struggling to keep her eyes open.
Severus rolled his eyes before standing looking eager to excuse himself, "I shall show myself out."
His point was made clear, believing that she would be sleeping with Remus and although the majority of the time she did, she couldn't help but feel suddenly awkward about it. Waking up somewhat, she stood up surprising both men.
"Can I have a quick word with you?" she asked Severus as she walked with him out of the office.
Once they were outside in the hallway, he turned and looked down at her, his eyes once again hiding his emotions.
"If this is about you sleeping with…him," it obviously took a lot for him not to call Remus 'werewolf' or something else.
"Not really," Lyra sighed, "what I said before Christmas…" Severus' hands tightened in his pockets, "I'm sorry for dropping that on you but I did mean it…and thank you for sending me the bracelet," she added at the look on his face.
Once again there was the awkwardness between them and she began to regret being completely honest with him.
"When did you…" he asked slowly, almost not wanting to hear her answer but he was having trouble finding the right words.
"When did I figure out my feelings?" she finished with a small smile, "our third year," his eyes widened in surprise.
Had it really been that long? In fact he couldn't believe it, not when she had never hinted at anything or her interest, not when she had always played the healer between him and Lily during times where they grew distant.
"You…never said anything."
"Sev," the use of his old nickname sent shivers down his spine for some reason, "I wasn't blind. I knew you cared about…Lily," his eyes hardened slightly but he said nothing as she continued, "who was I to compare against that? I tried my best to try and forget my feelings and that's when I fell in love with Remus…but after a while I knew that I still had feelings for you."
"And yet you are with him," he pointed out the obvious, trying to keep the hint of jealousy from his voice, why was he jealous of the werewolf?
"Remus was daring enough to ask me out," she couldn't help but chuckle, "and that's a lot coming from the shy, bookish Gryffindor who let his friends get away with too many things…besides there is always the problem that there are very few people who would willingly go out with a werewolf. I needed someone, especially with everything going on, and so did he," her eyes moved to the window to their right, a hand idly tracing the scar across her cheek.
There, it always came back to that. She was a werewolf and who better to be in love with than another werewolf? And whose fault had it been that she was in this position? There were so many who could be put to blame for the accident however Severus had always felt a shred of blame. She would not have been there if he hadn't been curious, attempting to have Potter and friends expelled. She would not have moved into the way of the werewolf if he had not frozen in horror at the creature. She had been protecting him and it was because of this that he hated himself, for being weak, and now she would forever live with the curse of the werewolf. But she had never blamed him, nor Remus or even Sirius, in fact she had claimed the only one at fault was herself. It burned him that she didn't want to blame anyone, that she forgave everything.
Noticing his thoughtful look, Lyra cocked her head curiously up at him but did not ask what he was thinking. Not when she probably knew what he was thinking.
"It doesn't matter anyway," she broke through his thoughts, "I should know when I'm beaten. You still love Lily…"
The sad smile on her face almost made him cave in, daring to break through the barriers round his heart. She knew she shouldn't but she couldn't resist, she needed one last sure fire thing to know that it would not be possible between them. If so they she would admit defeat and try her hardest to kill those feelings that were bubbling below the surface.
"Will you…let me try something?" she asked, oddly reminding her of the time she and Remus first kissed in the Shrieking Shack, "you don't have to do anything, just stand there."
Severus narrowed his eyes curiously but knew better than to ask, instead nodding lightly, beginning to wonder if he would regret it as she took a step closer to him, removing his personal space. His dark eyes kept focused on hers even as he noticed that one of her hands raised slowly as if not to spook him like you would a nervous dog. Stiffening slightly as her fingers slipped into his dark tresses, running her fingers through his hair to his surprise before she leant forwards. Severus stopped breathing as her lips neared his, his mind that had been previously a whir of thoughts suddenly blanked just as her lips met his tenderly.
Severus didn't know what to do for a brief moment, strange emotions assaulting him and almost overpowering him. He had never been kissed before in such a way. During his Death Eater days there had been times when he had shared intimate moments with women but they had been fleeting moments to rid themselves of frustration and need. But this was new, alien and the feeling was quite overwhelming. As her lips parted from his it took all his restraint to stop himself leaning forwards and recapturing her lips, not wanting to let go of that feeling. She smiled softly, her hand falling to her side before she turned and returned to Remus' office. Severus almost pulled her back, immediately missing the closeness that no one had ever given him, missing the feeling that had dared to swallow him up and was now leaving him cold. That kiss had meant to be a parting of ways and yet he felt like it had done the complete opposite. Could he truly love another? One who had been with him almost as long as Lily had, had been there for him during their years at Hogwarts; had secretly cared about him greater than a friend. Forcing himself to move, he turned and stalked down the corridors determined to lock those thoughts and feelings away under a tight lock and key.