"To the long road ahead, gentlemen," I say, raising my shot glass to the ceiling. "Straight to State! Let's make some memories!"
Ben, Jake, and I clink our glasses together, all grimacing slightly when the cheap liquid hits our throats.
"Losin' memories is more like it," Ben mutters, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth. "That's rough."
"Toughen up, Benny," Jake says, grabbing his shoulder and shakin' QB1 around. "You know what else is gonna be rough?"
"State?" Ben ventures.
"State!" Emmett shouts in response, coming through the front door with a thirty-rack and girls in tow. I stare hopefully, wantin' Bella to be among them, but it's just Rosalie, Alice, and Angela.
There is a lot of huggin' and greetin' as everyone forgets that we all saw each other an hour and a half ago in the next town over.
"Where's Bella?" I ask Alice as I hand her a can, keeping my voice low.
"Relax, lover boy," she says, shaking her head at me. "When she and Charlie dropped me off at home, she said she'd meet me here."
"Charlie?" I ask, shocked that they are on a first name basis.
Alice just laughs at me, and we set about the business of gettin' our buzz on before heading over to Newton's. I glance at the front door every couple seconds as I drink, laugh and talk. Hopefully nobody notices.
"Well, should we head on over to Mike's?" Jake suggests. "You ladies about ready?"
"Keep your pants on, Jacob," Rose snaps. Sometimes I forget that the two of them never really got along. "Bella's not here yet."
"Damn, what is that girl doin' with herself?" Jake mutters shaking her head. "Somebody call her."
"How 'bout another round?" I ask as a distraction.
Three rounds later, I am seriously doubting that anyone should be gettin' behind the wheel of a vehicle. Except maybe Alice. She's not even plannin' on going to Mike's. She won't say why, but I have my suspicions and they involve a certain former quarterback, current coach.
My head is in the fridge when I hear a cheer go up behind me. Everyone yells Bella's name, and I bang my head on the roof of the fridge in my haste to turn around to get a good look at her.
Even if I'm not allowed to touch her, I sure can look at her.
I have to crane my neck to see around Jake who is lecturing her about promptness. When I finally get to her, it only takes me about two seconds to figure out that something is not right. Not right at all.
First of all, she looks totally overwhelmed, like she completely forgot that all these people would be here. Second of all, she is dressed only in a plaid shirt of mine that looks more like a dress and a pair of black tights. Bella is kinda girly, and the only casual type attire she wears in public is Panther gear.
Angela hugs her and Bella looks a little panicked.
"Are you okay, Bella?" Angela asks.
I can tell its hard work for her, but she manages to morph her facial expression into a bright and happy one. I hate that she feels the need to fake it like that, but right now I'm more concerned with whatever is distressin' her.
"I'm fine. The Panthers are in the playoffs!"
Everyone sends up a cheer and goes back to what they're doing. I seize the opportunity to talk to her, because frankly, she's freaking me the hell out.
"Bella, are you okay?" I ask, leaning over her as if I can protect her from this unforeseen threat with my body.
She looks up at me with wide, sad eyes and shakes her head. No, she certainly ain't okay.
"I can't go to the party," she whispers, sounding like she's tryin' really hard to keep from crying. "Can I just stay here?"
"Of course you can, love," I say, reaching out for her. She takes a step away from me, glancing around at all the people in my house. "You'll stay right here with me."
"No, you've made playoffs. You gotta go celebrate," she murmurs, being absolutely ridiculous.
"Stop that," I reply, my voice probably a little harsher than necessary. "I'm not goin' anywhere, Bella. Just give me a minute to get rid of everyone."
It only takes me about two minutes to remind Jake about the party at Mike' s. Alice agrees to drop off the lot of them, seeming to understand like she always does that Bella needs them gone.
I close the door behind them, assuring a slurring Jake that we're gonna leave in just a few minutes. My lie appeases him, and I let out a breath, relieved that they're gone.
Before I can even turn around Bella is wrapping her arms around me from behind. I bring her around to hug her proper, kissing the top of her head even as I internally freak out, wonderin' what it could be.
"Bella, what happened?"
She lets out a sigh as she pulls away from me, taking my hand and leading me over to the couch. She sits with her knees pulled up to her chin, just like she always does when she's upset. This time she keeps my hand against her chest. She studies my rough fingertips.
Guess it looks like I'm just gonna have to wait it out. She'll start talkin' when she's ready.
"I like you in that shirt, Swan," I say, just to make her smile. It works for a minute, and she kisses the palm of my hand.
"I shouldn't even be surprised," she murmurs after another moment of silence. "I feel so stupid for being blindsided like this. It's been a long time coming."
For a minute, I think she might be talking about Alice and Jasper. I saw her face when she saw them huggin' after the game tonight. She was definitely both shocked and blindsided. I don't want to think like this, but I can't help wondering if she's jealous.
"Things have obviously been strained for months, but I didn't think it was this bad!" Okay, probably not Alice and Jasper. It's very bad, but I'm damn happy she isn't upset about that. "I'm a terrible daughter. I wasn't payin' enough attention. Now it's all over."
"Oh, honey," I say, finally getting it. "Your parents are getting a divorce?"
Bella winces at the word. "I guess. I don't know. My mom is just gone."
"Gone?" I ask.
"When we got home, all her clothes and stuff were gone," she says. "She left in a hurry too, if the state of my parents' room is any indication. I thought she'd been abducted after a scuffle or something. Charlie knew right away what happened."
My heart breaks for Bella because I know just how that is, to come home to that exact situation. It also makes me furious with Renee especially in light of all the opinions the women had regarding Bella's wellbein'.
"I am so sorry, Bella," I murmur, pulling her into my chest. She fists her hand in my shirt and sniffs a little. "So very, very sorry."
"I called her, and she answered, so it's not like she just disappeared. Not like your…"
I understand her hesitation. The whole thing with my mom is not something I like to talk about ever. Not even with Emmett.
"Like my mom," I finish for her. She looks like she's about to comfort me but that's just ridiculous. "What did your mom say? When you called her?"
"That she's on her way to visit my aunt in Florida. At first, she tried to make it sound like nothing is wrong, but then I asked why she would visit with all of her stuff, and she confessed that she didn't know when she'd come back. Or even if she'll come back at all."
"Wow." I feel like a fuckin' moron because I don't have the slightest idea what to say. And I of all people should know exactly what to say, but I just don't.
"Don't you look at me like that," she says, closing her eyes. "I'm not going to break into a million little pieces. I'm okay. Things are getting better with my dad, and it's not like I'm gonna be here for much longer. Maybe it will be good."
I stare down at her for a moment. She opens her eyes and gives me that fake smile that I just hate. It breaks my heart a little more. I kiss her chastely, tyin' to provide a little comfort.
"You don't have to be like that with me," I whisper, keeping my fingers on her chin. "You can be sad if you feel sad."
She sniffs three times before the tears start. They aren't violent, full-body sobs like I've seen from her before. It's just quiet. And wet.
"Thank you," she says after a good long while of me just holding her.
"No need for that," I reply, kissing her forehead. "I'm here for you the way you've been there for me a thousand times over."
"I love you," she murmurs, pushin' my hair back and kissing me. "So incredibly much."
"I love you, too."
"I don't get it," Rosalie declares as we all sit around, eating breakfast the next morning. Bella's just filled her in on the Renee situation.
"What's not to get?" Bella asks. She's just moving her scrambled eggs around her plate and not eatin' anything. "She's gone and has no plans of coming back."
"That's what I don't get," Rose replies. "Come on, Bella. You know as well as I do the type of lady your mom is."
Bella just stares at her friend blankly.
"Don't make me say it," Rose pleads. Bella keeps quiet. "Okay, don't get mad at me for sayin' this, but your mom is kinda a gold digger type lady."
Bella sighs, nods, and hands me her virtually untouched plate. I hesitate before taking it from her, wanting her to eat but not daring to say anything.
"What's your point, Rose?" Bella snaps.
"My point is that it don't make sense. Do you remember what she told you about staying with your dad this summer? That she didn't want to give up her life? The woman stayed with her cheatin' husband even though everybody knew everything because she liked her life. So what changed? Why would she change her mind now?"
Bella leans back on the couch, thinkin' hard, and I wish Rosalie hadn't said anything.
"Why would she change her mind now?" Bella echoes. Both girls are silent for a moment before Bella abruptly stands. "I gotta go."
"What?" I ask, not liking this at all. "It's Saturday. Where do you gotta be?"
"Home, Edward," Bella says, sounding annoyed. But then she sees me lookin' sad. She bends down to give me a quick kiss. "I tucked my dad into bed last night with a bottle of whiskey, makin' sure he was asleep before I came over here. I just want to be around today. He was pretty torn up."
I walk her to the door, hugging her long and hard before letting her go. She's gone about three seconds before coming back in.
"You missed me," I say, grinin' at her. "Didn't you? Couldn't bear to stay away."
Bella smiles. I sure love it when Bella smiles.
"I walked here last night," she explains, looking embarrassed. "I'd be mighty grateful if you gave me a lift."
I pretend to think about it for a minute before throwing my arm around her shoulders and walkin' her to the truck.
Although the rest of our conference has one more game, this week is a bye week for us which is pretty great with us securing our spot in the playoffs and everything. It's also Thanksgiving week. Dillon seems to be changing the holiday into a celebration of the Panthers.
That don't mean we get much of a break. Coach don't want us to get lazy, to forget what the stakes are in coming weeks.
The Thanksgiving Day Parade is gonna be on Friday instead, and it's pretty heavy on the Panthers, ending with a pep rally and party at Bella's daddy's dealership. I can't really believe he's up for hosting all that, but Bella says he's busy pretending everything is normal, and normal for Mr. Swan is immersing himself in the Panthers.
"It's sad, really," Bella muses, watching me kick off my boots after I crawl through her window Monday night. She sits cross-legged in the middle of her bed, wearing a flannel shirt of mine. I love her in my clothes, but I really hope she isn't planning on keeping everything she's been stealing lately. I don't got many shirts. "He's just totally in denial. Goin' to work every day just as happy as can be. I don't think he's even told any of his friends, except maybe Coach Masen. The only real difference is that he's drinkin' himself to sleep every night."
"Is that why you have me over here so early?" I ask, sitting on the end of her bed. I pull off my socks and then slip out of my jeans before lying down next to her with my head in her lap.
"Yes," she replies, her fingers finding their way into my hair. "I just don't know what to do about any of it."
"Nothin' much you can do, love," I tell her. "Just give him some time."
"Time," she scoffs, shaking her head as she stares down at me. "That's your solution for just about every problem. You and me, Jasper, Charlie."
"It's workin' out okay? Ain't it?"
"I suppose."
She's still cranky that I've had one conversation with Jasper while she's had none.
"Do you got a better idea?"
"No," she mutters. "I just don't like all the sitting around and waiting. I'm a very proactive person, Edward."
"I know, baby. I know it."
"Renee couldn't have picked a worse time to get outta dodge with the holidays and everything," she says. I close my eyes, enjoying the feeling of her fingers against my scalp. "Rose has to be right. Something else is goin' on."
"The holidays are overrated," I mutter.
"They weren't overrated in my house. Just last year they were cheesy and perfect."
"We'll, you're welcome to join our traditional Cullen holiday celebrations," I say. "Em and I just get really drunk. And light stuff on fire."
Bella's laughter makes my head bop around.
"I think we should go. Let's just get the hell out of Dillon," she says, sighing.
"Where do you want to go, baby?"
"Colorado," she replies immediately.
"Let's fuckin' do it," I say with a chuckle.
"I'm serious," she says, lightly smacking my chest. I grab her hand, keeping it against me. "It can't be more than twelve hours, and we have three days off. That's twenty-four hours of driving for four days in Colorado."
"Did you get in?" I ask, getting excited. Bella and I haven't really talked about the whole college thing since the night Jasper found us out. "Did you find out?"
"No," she says. "But I will."
"Have you even decided where you want to go yet?"
"I want to be near you," she says. That's such a novelty to me. That she wants to be near me enough to factor me into her plans. "I never really had a dream school or anything. Now all I really want is a good education anywhere that isn't in Texas. If DU is as great as it appears to be on paper and Google, then yes. I've made my decision."
I just stare up at her. For the first time in my entire life, the future looks good. Damn good. So fucking good it scares me. But this moment is too big to waste bein' fearful.
I kiss her, deeply. When I pull away she looks flushed and disorientated.
"So we're goin' to Colorado?" she murmurs.
"Looks like it."
"Can we leave right after school tomorrow?" she asks.
"I wish." Her face falls and I hate myself a little. I've always wanted to give her everything. "If we could, I would take you to Colorado right this minute. But think about everything that's goin' on this week. I've got football. You've got your dad."
Bella groans. "I can't leave my dad alone on Thanksgiving."
"No. Plus who would Emmett light stuff on fire with?"
Bella laughs as she reaches across me to turn off the light on her bedside table. She snuggles down next to me, readjusting so my head is now on her shoulder and my arm draped across her stomach.
"You're coming over here for Thanksgiving," she decides. "Emmett, too. You can light things on fire in the street."
Emmett seems nervous as we walk up Bella's driveway Thursday. He keeps fidgeting with his tie. Why he even wore a tie is beyond me.
"You sure this is okay?" he asks, waving around the bottles of wine he has in each hand. I get it. I can't remember the last time we had a proper Thanksgiving with the meal and everything. This whole day seems foreign and fancy.
"Bella said we had to bring wine, rolls, and our good lookin' selves." I have the rolls. They look nice and flaky. "Relax. It's just Bella and her dad. And Coach and Alice. We've dined with them before."
"I am obviously perfectly relaxed," he declares as he pounds on the door. Bella opens the door a second later, grinning at me as she uses the collar of my jacket to pull me down for a nice, heated kiss.
Emmett sighs next to me as the kiss continues on for longer than is totally necessary.
"I feel so unloved," he says as Bella pulls away and takes a step back, letting us inside.
"Hi, Emmett," Bella says. "Welcome to Thanksgiving. The guys are in there, watching football."
"Great," Emmett says, handing Bella his bottles and disappearing in the direction she indicated.
I try to do the same but Bella is havin' none of that. She drags me into the kitchen even though I have no idea what use I could possibly be in there.
"Sup, Cullen," Alice says, sitting on the counter and munching on a carrot. "This holiday is weird."
I look at Bella, needing her to decode Alice for me.
"Alice has never celebrated Thanksgiving before. Her mom is against it because of all the killing and destruction of the Native Americans and what not."
I just blink a lot, having no idea what to say 'bout that.
"She's against genocide as a rule," Alice says, nodding.
"Right," I say, running my hand through my hair. "Well, here's the bread. I'm just gonna go in there. Catch a quick minute of the game."
"It's also weird because Ms. Platt is here," Alice continues before I can make escape.
"Ms. Platt?"
"You know. Ms. Platt," Bella says rather unhelpfully. "Guidance counselor, general hottie about school."
"Hottie?" I ask, completely baffled.
"Shut up, Bella," Alice growls, throwing a bag of almonds at Bella. I catch it before it can hit my lady. Bella just laughs.
"What is goin' on here?" I demand. Bella takes the nuts from me and goes back to the stove. It looks like she's doin' the cooking pretty much on her own as Alice refuses to get anywhere near anything that was once alive and kickin'.
"Coach Masen invited Ms. Platt to dinner," Bella explains, winking at me over her shoulder. I lean back against the counter, enjoying Alice's obvious discomfort.
"It's not like that," Alice insists. "She doesn't have much family, and her parents decided to go on a last minute cruise or something. It was a last minute, pity invite."
"Oh, somehow I doubt that very much," I say.
"You guys are assholes."
"Whoa, adult entering the room." We all stare as Ms. Platt walks on in, beaming. The last time I saw her, she was a lot less happy and that was probably my doing with the fightin' and all.
She is pretty fine for a teacher. Good for Coach.
"Hi, Edward," she says. "Happy Thanksgiving."
She grins at me and I look at the floor, recalling how I told her about Bella. That's probably what she's thinking about right this minute. How embarrassing.
"Bella, what can I do?" Ms. Platt asks.
Bella starts dolling out tasks, and I make my escape. Except the living room proves to be just as dangerous as the kitchen. Mr. Swan silently watches me with narrowed eyes. Coach tells me to pay attention to the big boys on TV but also bans me from talkin' except during the commercials. Emmett looks ridiculous in his damn tie.
Worst part is with Coach here I can't even have one little brew. So much for my holiday tradition.
But this is important to Bella.
Dinner is better. It's pretty damn comical to see Mr. Swan and Coach grumble about not wanting to eat until the end of the game only to be silenced by their bossy daughters.
There are a couple minutes of awkward silence while everyone passes around dishes full of the classics. Pretty soon, everyone is laughing and talking, brought together by good company and even better food.
Damn good food.
I gush to Bella about how awesome it is and she kisses me right on the lips in front of all those people. It's quick but it happens. Mr. Swan don't look too happy, but he don't look that mad either.
Okay, so maybe some parts of Thanksgiving are pretty all right.
BPOV
"Look at him over there," I mutter into my drink, eyes narrowed in the direction of my father. "He's just laughing and carrying on like nothing is wrong. Does he not care? Does he not care even a little bit that his wife is on the other side of the country with no plans to come home?"
I feel a little bad ranting at Edward, but this post Panthers parade playoffs party is irritating me. It's all so over the top and ridiculous. I might have been able to put on a happy face for Thanksgiving without my mom – without even a phone call – but this is just too much.
"Bella, I ain't seein' what you're seein'," Edward replies, leaning against the wall at my side and bringing his cup to his lips.
"What do you mean?"
"That man is in pain," Edward says. It's definitely not what I expected, but I take a second look. "He's just tryin' to forget."
"You think?"
"Yup. All that laughter? He's fakin' it," Edward continues, looking at me instead of my dad.
I nod, looking down and trying not to cry in front of all these people. The whole damn town, including the whole damn high school, is here, getting pumped for playoffs next week in typical Dillon fashion. There's plenty of barbeque, plenty of alcohol, and plenty of dancing. Everything is decked out in blue and gold, and I just count down the seconds until its okay for me to leave.
"Do you want to go? 'Cause we can fuckin' go," Edward says, pointing his thumb over this shoulder towards the exit.
"We can't go yet," I say with a sigh. "We just go here. Pretty soon you're going to have to go up on that stage to be fawned over, and I'm gonna have to do a stupid cheerleading routine."
"But you look damn good in that little uniform," Edward says, giving me a lazy smile.
I just shake my head at him, trying not to smile.
"Well," he says, finishing his drink and grabbing my hand. "If we have to be here, can we at least dance?"
I bite my lip, looking out at the dance floor. Everybody sure looks like they are havin' a grand old time, but I'm torn. Dancing with Edward in front of all those people – it sounds good and bad at the same time.
"Come on, Isabella," he murmurs, his lips right at my ear. "Live a little."
I let him drag me to the dance floor and pull me into his arms. His hand on my lower back warms me up, as does his thumb that slips under my top to touch my bare skin. He is really such a good dancer, and I love being right here. He grins down at me and I can't help but smile back.
I am mildly aware of all the whispers and stares, but I'm better at ignoring them now, especially when I look up at Edward as we two-step with all the other couples in front of the band. For a while there, with him spinning me and grinning at me, I do a pretty good job forgetting about everything but my dance partner.
Until there is a commotion over by the bar.
I crane my neck, trying like everyone else to see what's going on with the raised voices. Through the masses of people I see Charlie, red faced and screaming at a pair of boosters.
Without even looking at Edward, I begin moving towards my dad as fast as I can, not understanding exactly what's going on but knowing without a doubt that it ain't good.
When I finally get to my dad, I have a hard time understand exactly what he's babbling about. A mostly-empty bottle of whiskey dangles from his hand at his side as he continues to scream and point.
"Dad," I say, getting in front of him. He sways as he blinks down at me, and I wince when I see just how drunk he is. "Calm down."
"Now, Isabella," he slurs, once again glaring over my shoulder at whoever he is so pissed with. "Don't be gettin' involved in this. This here is a situation between men and will be dealt with as such."
"Charlie, I was just askin' where Renee was tonight. I meant no offense," Mr. Peters, one of Charlie's oldest friends, says, putting his hands up in that common gesture of proclaimed innocence.
"Dad—"
"You can go to hell, Brett!" Charlie shouts. He attempts to step around me and promptly trips over his own feet, somehow ending up on his back.
I stare down at him in horror for a minute, feeling the whispering and staring once again directed at my family and me. It's becoming my lot in life, to be at the very center of a scandal.
And I'm trying, really trying, to do as Edward says and not let their opinions bother me. But it's been one thing after the next since the beginning of last summer, and it feels like my whole world just keeps falling apart right after I've picked up the pieces from the last shattering experience.
And it's not just that. It's tearing me apart, seeing my daddy so broken.
Charlie laughs. He's drunk and lying on his back in front of the whole town at his own dealership, and he laughs.
"Dad!" I say, grabbing his hand and attempting to pull him up. "Please, please get up."
"I messed up," Charlie slurs, closing his eyes and ignoring my pleas. "Bells, I messed up so much. And you look just like her. She's gone like the wind. Everything's gone like the wind."
As I continue to plead with him to move and pull on his hand a couple tears roll down my cheeks. Suddenly Edward is there, putting his hand on my shoulder and looking at me with concern.
"Please get up, Dad," I murmur, feeling completely miserable.
He just continues to babble about losing everything.
"Bella, let me," Edward says. Now he is tugging on my shoulder as I tug on Charlie's hand. "Move out the way, baby."
I let go and do as Edward says, taking a step back and refusing to look at anyone but my pitiful excuse for a parent.
"Come on, Mr. Swan," Edward says, managing to get my dad to sit up at least. "Let's get you home."
Charlie glances up at Edward, and glares, pulling away.
"You get the hell away from me, boy," Charlie slurs, far too loudly for my comfort. "Don't you think I don't know what you're up to. Tryin' to steal my daughter, the last thing I have in this whole world."
That's an awful big assumption right there. After this, I don't think he has me. Not even a little bit. He did it to himself. All of it.
But he just looks so miserable. I'm conflicted, not knowing if I hurt for him or if I hate him. It's probably a little of both.
"We can talk about that later," Edward says, keeping his voice low and once again taking my dad by the arm. "Let's just get you up."
Charlie does a little more incomprehensible raging, directed both at Edward and the boosters he was yelling at moments ago and at my mom.
He makes it pretty clear to the whole damn town that she skipped out on us and that he hates her for it. In this moment, he's conveniently forgotten all about Barbara Denali.
I haven't. Neither has Renee, that's for sure.
Edward still struggles, only succeeding in getting Dad on his two feet when Coach Masen rushes over to help out. Supporting Charlie between them, they manage to move out towards the parking lot. I follow, studying the ground and trying to ignore the silence and the stares as we leave. Even the band has stopped playing.
"Bella," Ms. Platt says, putting her arm around my shoulders as she catches up with us when we get a good distance away from the party. "Are you alright?"
I just shake my head at that overly stupid question.
"Of course you're not," she murmurs. "Is there anything I can do?"
It is in this moment I realize that the keys to the truck are in my purse which is inside my dad's office.
"Can you get my purse and our jackets?" I ask her, trying to dry my face with my hands again. "They're in Charlie's office, on his desk chair. And have the band keep playing as long as they are paid to play. Keep the party going?"
Ms. Platt nods before going back inside.
Edward and Coach Masen get Charlie settled in the passenger's seat of his old truck. He is slumped again the window with his eyes closed.
"I'm sorry, Coach," I manage, once again studying the ground. "Thank you for helping. It's just a really hard time."
I start crying again and bury my face in my hands. Edward pulls me into his chest and I immediately wrap my arms around his waist, letting his football jersey absorb my tears.
"You don't need to explain or apologize for anything, Bella," Coach says. "Don't you worry about anything here. We'll take care of the clean up and all that."
I can't seem to make my mouth work so Edward replies for me.
"Thank you, Coach," he murmurs, stroking my hair.
I turn slightly, giving Coach a grateful smile just as Ms. Platt returns with my things. Edward takes them from her, draping his lettermen jacket over my shoulders as I dig in my purse for the keys to the truck and the dealership.
"Here," I say, handing two keys to Ms. Platt. "This locks the front and this locks the gate. Don't worry about anything else. I'll take care of it in the morning."
Coach and Ms. Platt nod, sympathy apparent on their faces. I thank them again and they head back to the party.
I take a deep breath before moving to get into the truck. I open the driver's side door, waiting for Edward to slide in first.
"Bella, let me drive," he says, not getting in.
"I'm fine," I insist.
"Your hands are shaking," he points out.
"And you've been drinking," I reply.
"One beer in the last two hours," he says. "Please, Bella. Let me get you home."
Too tired to argue and having no real desire to drive, I nod and slide in. I lay my head on Edward's shoulder when he gets in next to me and pull his jacket closer, closing my eyes and wishing this whole night didn't happen.
After basically dragging Charlie to bed, I collapse into mine fully clothed, too tired to do anything but kick off my shoes. Edward joins me, holding me as I cry and cry until I finally fall asleep.
In the morning – after Edward leaves to run with the team and before Charlie wakes – I call my mom.
"Hey, Bella!" she exclaims, answering after only one ring. I wince at her bright tone and her apparent happiness. "How are you?"
"Okay," I murmur, not really knowing what to say. I just need help. It's starting to feel like my head is constantly under water. "How are you?"
"Wonderful," she says with a sigh. "You know how I just love the beach. Your aunt says hello by the way."
"Great."
"So what's going on? How was your Thanksgiving? I meant to call but the whole day just got away from me," she continues.
Well, she was meaning to call. That certainly makes up for everything.
"It's fine," I dismiss even though it so totally isn't. At the moment I have bigger problems than being forgotten about by my own mother. "But… Mom, when are you coming home?"
My plea is met with silence for a long moment.
"I don't know," Renee whispers, sounding so small. "I just… I don't think I can. Not anytime soon."
I squeeze my eyes shut and try not to cry.
"But… but what about your family? What about me? We need you," I say somewhat desperately.
"Oh, sweetie—"
I cut off whatever excuse she was about to throw at me, instead filling her in on the events of last night.
"He's a mess, Mom," I say, crying now that I've had to relive the whole thing. "And I know he did something really terrible to you, but hasn't it been better? Hasn't he been trying? I thought you liked your life and wanted to work it all out."
My mom takes a deep breath.
"It's complicated," she says finally, explaining nothing.
"We're a family! You made a decision to stick it out with him six months ago! What's complicated about that?" I demand, panicking now. We certainly have our differences, Mom and me, but I still need her. She's still my mother.
"Things have changed since then," she says, sounding just as sad as I feel.
"How? What's changed? Did he cheat on you again?" I ask, feeling another wave of fury for the man my boyfriend had to pick up off the floor last night.
"No," she says quickly. "No, I don't think so. It's nothing like that."
Rosalie's words from the other morning fill my head. What changed? Why would she change her mind now?
Why would she change her mind now?
"Does this have something to do with the cars?" The whole tune-up thing was suspicious – especially because it's taken so long – but I just didn't want to think about it. Well, I am sure as hell thinking about it now.
"Yes," Renee whispers. "It's bad, Bella. Really bad. And he didn't tell me about it, didn't ask for my input when something could be done about it. Now it's too late. There is nothing left."
"What?" I squeak out. I don't understand. I don't know if I want to understand. Suddenly not knowing seems much safer.
"I can't believe he hasn't told you yet. That coward," my mom mutters to herself before answering my question. "Apparently, things have been rough at the dealership lately. Which makes sense, given the economy and whatnot. But instead of cutting back at home, your father decided to make some big deal that would fix everything. Well, too bad it didn't work out."
Cut back? Like Renee would have tolerated cut backs to our lifestyle. No matter what Charlie did, her leaving seems like it was inevitable.
"What?" I squeak again. This is a lot to take in and I have a hard time. "What about the jumbotron?"
Renee lets out a bitter laugh. "I asked him the same thing when he told me all this a week ago. Your father is an idiot, Bella. A broke idiot."
"What does this mean?" I whisper.
"You'll have to get the details from your father. But the dealership is in big trouble."
I sit down on my bed. My legs feel like jell-o.
"How did this happen?" I murmur, freaking out just a little bit. "What are we going to do?"
"That's your father's problem now," Renee insists. I feel abandoned and so alone. "I can't take one more lie from that man."
"What about me?"
"Shit," she mutters. "I hate to be the one to tell you this but you're going to have to rethink college, Bella."
I just sit there in stunned silence.
"But I have a college fund," I say. "You set aside money for me ages ago. You said it was mine if I got good grades."
"It's gone, Bella," Renee says with a sigh. "That's what your father gambled with and lost. There is no way he can afford a private school like DU. But there is always the state schools. It might even be for the best."
"The best?"
"It might be best for you. It will give you some distance, an opportunity for you to rethink your priorities."
I realize she's talking about Edward, and I immediately hang up on her. I just sit there on the end of my bed for a while, stunned and sad and scared. It takes me a minute to figure out how to move properly, but when I do, I pull a suitcase out from under my bed and begin to pack it with mechanical movements.
I know what my priorities are so I pack up and head out, going to the one person who can make it better. The one person that's always there.
Y'all probably have a pretty good idea where she's headed.
Thanks for reading.