Cassiopeia felt strangely hollow when she returned to Hogwarts.
She couldn't put her finger on it, but being back at the school was something she faced with a grim resignation instead of the exuberant excitement that infect many of her classmates.
Sure, she was looking forward to her independent study project, but the joy of being in the school was absent. She remembered how she felt when she was 11 years old and was finally allowed to come back to this world. She recalled the sleepless nights lost to anticipation and nerves before her first school year. She remembered being eager to come back to her friends and to learn more, to learn everything.
She remembered waiting outside of her classes, tearing through her textbooks. She remembered listening to Professor Quirrell talk to her about theoretical magics, often getting sidetracked by various tangents as he taught her. She had found those classes dizzyingly complicated and totally enthralling. She missed Professor Quirrell wondered briefly how his sabbatical was going.
All of that excitement she once felt however was gone, and in its place a resignation that this was a necessary step before she could really begin her life. It felt less like a gift to be at school and more like a prison sentence, a place that she did her time in, completed her work, so she could be released into the world.
Not that she knew where she wanted to be in the world. She had no friends, a cousin who had the lofty ambition of becoming an Auror so she could arrest her, and a reputation forever stained by her family's legacy. She wondered if the Lestrange name was so famous abroad, perhaps she'd look for work in Northern Europe, where the Dark Lord's reach wasn't as strong. She knew enough that France would also be off limits if she ever wanted to escape the judgement from the magical community.
And she wondered about the muggle world. She did make friends there, in her short time away from the Tonks home. They helped her when no one else would, nursed her through her severe withdrawals from her self medication, they clothed her, fed her, and accepted her into their squat as if she was family, no questions asked. She still kept in contact with that group, though they had moved on from London into smaller cities in the South West. She had been so desperate to escape the muggle world as a child, and now she wondered if that was where she preferred to be.
She tried to find some excitement in her coursework, chasing the previous joy of learning new things. She focussed on her coursework, going through the motions of a model student. She tuned out her classmates jeering and sneers, and spent most of her free time either in Professor Snape's office working on her mental structures, or with Professor Flitwick working on her independent study. But it all rang false, hollow. She didn't know what was wrong with her, or what exactly had changed, and she found that irritating.
It wasn't until mid way through the first term that she found the reason for her melancholy. She had messed up a potion in Professor Snape's class and he had been magnanimous enough to let her have another attempt over the lunch break, after verbally castrating her in front of the class for her failure. She was determined to get the bloody potion correct, more so since Snape had so publicly humiliated her. He had left her alone in the classroom, excusing himself so he could go to the great hall and eat.
Despite his bad temper he knew his student better than anyone else in the school, and knew she could be trusted to be left to her own devices in his labs. It was a trust he didn't afford any of his other students, but he figured if she did monumentally bollocks it up, he would be able to pry it from her mind during one of their occlumency sessions. A part of him almost wished she would manage to destroy the classroom. He smirked darkly, it would be fun to pry the secret from her.
She was concentrating deeply on the potion in front of her, completely dumb to the environment around her. She dimly heard Professor Snape excuse himself, though she didn't quite register it completely. That was why when the tinkling of breaking glass in Snape's private potion store shocked her so much that she almost dropped in too many lizard stomachs, which would have ruined the potion again. Her eyes flicked up at the offending noise and she frowned, but she was also unable to leave the potion to investigate. There were a few critical steps she had to take before it was safe to leave her brew unattended.
She continued working, keep half an eye his private stores, her frown deepening as time passed. Now that she was listening for it, there were quiet shuffles and bumps coming from the cupboard. She sighed deeply when she finally reached a rest point in her potion. She had ten minutes before she needed to begin the next stages. After setting a quick reminder for 8 minutes, she grasped her wand and went to investigate the strange sounds, wondering who was stupid enough to steal from the potions master, intent on catching them so she wouldn't be blamed. She could only imagine Snape would happily blame and punish her, he would probably make her do something awful and disgusting in detention.
Snape ate his lunch quickly and returned to his classroom intent on doing some grading and perhaps intimidating his student a little bit. He trusted her to not be an idiot and they had grown more familiar, even friendly at times. He enjoyed putting a little bit of fear back into her, it would do no good if she ever became too friendly with him around the other students. He had a reputation to maintain after all.
He slowed when he reached the door, intending to give her a little fright with a loud entrance, and also curious to see how far along she was in the potion. It also wouldn't do for her to be so afraid she accidentally blew up the cauldron. It was a particularly volatile potion she was working on. He frowned when he smelled the a sickly sweet, acrid burning coming from his classroom, immediately alarmed.
How had she botched this potion twice in a row? Was she truly so thick that she couldn't even follow simple directions? He felt his temper rising, and she had clearly just let it burn, with no regard for the cauldron that was no doubt ruined, the ingredients she had destroyed, and the time she had wasted on both their ends. He took out his wand, prepared to deal with the burning potion, angry words at the tip of his tongue as he entered the room.
His anger turned to cold horror immediately upon entering the room. His student was on her knees, in front of his private potions store room, her face red and blotchy with tears. Standing above her was the Dark Lord, looking as if no time had passed at all. His long, pale fingers hovered around her face, centimeters away from her skin, his high, cold voice was crooning softly to her, his face twisted into a cruel mockery of affection.
"You are mine Little Lestrange. You belong to me, you always will. You exist because I willed it, you were born because I demanded it. Your only purpose in life is to serve me, to kill for me, to worship me. You have strayed far from your path in my absence, but I am a merciful master, I will continue your education that your parents started, and together we will create cleanse the world of those too weak to claim power for themselves. You were born to be marked, born to be my soldier, and to please me. Everything else is just a fantasy."
Cassiopeia had her eyes closed to the onslaught from the Dark Lord, and Snape was rooted to the spot, frozen in shock, his wand hanging uselessly at his side, entranced by one of his greatest fears standing in front of him.
The form of the Dark Lord began to bubble and warp, his face morphing into that of a younger Bellatrix Lestrange. She knelt down in front of her daughter, pouting petulantly as she looked down with faux pity at her daughter. Her eyes danced with mirth and crazed devotion as she began speaking in her high mocking tone, "Oooh Casssie, did you really think Azkaban could hold me? Mummy is here, I will always be here, and I will always find you, no matter where you go or where you hide, Mummy will always be there for my little girl."
Severus horror turned to understanding as he flushed in embarrassment and annoyance at his own reaction. He was witnessing her worst fears as the Boggart shaped them into people and ideas.
"We will return to him, and you will fulfill your purpose, you will be marked as one of us, and you will do everything he bids of you. It will be glorious Cassie, you and I, on the battlefield, our foes falling before us as- BA-COCK!" Bellatrix paused, looking confused. Her lips were still moving, but instead of words, she clucked like a chicken.
"BA-BA-COCK! BUH-BUH-BUHCOCK!" she pouted in dismay and Cassiopeia finally opened her eyes to look at her mother, her mouth dropped open in shock and bewilderment.
"Riddikulus," Snape said, casting the Boggart back into his potions store, the door closing with a firm snap.
He waved his wand at her ruined potion, quieting her ringing alarm, dousing the flames and banishing away the blackened goo at the bottom of her cauldron.
Cassiopeia fell forward, pressing her cheek against the cold floor as she let her sobs play themselves out. She was mortified by her own reactions. Boggarts were on the third year curriculum, and she had not only failed to recognise what was happening, she had fallen so entirely under its spell that she had been immobolised.
Snape left her to her sobs of relief, taking a seat at his desk, suddenly very interested in the paperwork on his desk.
She took a few deep breaths, sitting back on her knees, wiping her face on her sleeve. She was grateful that it was Professor Snape of all people to find her in that state. She would have preferred for it to have never happened of course, but Snape was the only professor she could trust to forget anything had ever happened.
She coughed slightly, scowling at herself, before reluctantly looking at the mess she had made of her second attempt at a potion. She scoffed again at her own stupidity and set to work clearing it all up, her face red in anger and embarrassment.
"Er...Sorry about well-" she trailed off, looking around at the mess she had made in dismay.
Snape finally looked her, waving away her concern. "You will be here for 7 pm tonight where you will clean out that ruined cauldron, and attempt the potion one last time." he said coldly, raising his eyebrows, daring for her to disagree. She grimanced, she had been hoping to get some work done on her research project, but this took precedence.
"Yes sir." she quietly tidied up, thankful for the silence.
She almost made it out of the classroom without further incident, but Snape stopped her just before she left. She paused, looking longingly at the door before turning back to the surly man. His cheeks were flushed and he had an odd look on his face as he studied her.
"Boggarts can take witches and wizards of all calibers down if they are caught off guard. But…" he trailed off, searching for the right words.
"Forgive me if I am overstepping my bounds, but those fears, you don't truly believe that do you? That your only purpose in life is to serve the Dark Lord? He is gone and your parents are in a place they will never escape, you are free to do as you please. You do understand that?" His voice was low, his body very still, as he looked down at his papers, waiting for her to respond.
She felt the now familiar hollowness return and with it the heavy weight of helplessness settled on her shoulders. She looked at the Potions Master, he was always so careful to respect her feelings and her distance, and she appreciated that most about him. It was why she had continued her occlumency lessons with him, why she had confided so much to him in the past, in the form of her memories. He was the only person that had seen the worst of her and her life, and somehow he never judged her.
"I can't believe he is gone. I don't believe it" her voice was tiny as she spoke, for the first time, her deepest fears.
"He's out there. Somewhere. Everything I do now is just passing the time until he comes back. Until they all come back. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother indulging in this illusion that I can make my own way, when I know with kismet certainty, that I will receive his mark, and that I will be forced to serve him. It's what I was literally born to do."
Snape took in her naked fear and vulnerability, and felt her fears echoed in the depth of his being. He understood, he too knew that the Dark Lord could still be out there, in fact he was very probably still out there, and he felt the shackles of his past mistakes weighing on his person as he looked at his student. What could he say to make her feel better? Should he tell her pretty lies, knowing that they were just that? Probably lies?
"If he comes back, know you have an ally in me. You always have a choice, even if it doesn't feel like it most the time. However, until that time, if it ever comes, you should be enjoying your freedom as much as possible. Do the things you want to do, because you may not ever have another chance." he shrugged lightly, "don't let one possible future stifle you, let it motivate you to make as much of a difference as possible." He almost rolled his eyes at his own words. He was starting to sound like the headmaster. Still, it seemed to have worked a little, as she seemed to be thinking over his words. It was a trait he favoured in her, she listened to him, perhaps not always in class or during their private lessons, but when it was important, she listened.
"Do you think he's still out there?" she finally asked, afraid and yet certain of his answer. He thought about her question, about his own fears and feelings, and decided he was not going to lie to her.
"Yes. I think he is." His voice was low, the lowest she had ever heard, as if admitting this would summon the man himself.
She nodded, relieved that he didn't lie to her. She thought about asking one more question, wrestling with it, but their conversation had left both in a solemn mood with a heaviness in the air. It was unfair to ask more of him. But she would try and heed his advice, she would deal with the Dark Lord when the time came, but for now she was going to try and enjoy as much as she could as her own person.
"Thank you Professor. I'll see you at 7."
He nodded curtly, turning back to his papers and she left to her next classes, her thoughts still on her strange conversation with the Potions Master.
Xxx
Christmas time came and went. Cassiopeia returned home to the Tonks household, held up a strained peace with her adopted sister, and smiled at all the appropriate times, sent the appropriate thank you letters to Mr and Mrs Weasley, who always remembered to send her something despite not seeing her for years, and to her Aunt and Uncle Malfoy, whom she rarely wrote to and visited since the Glynn incident.
She spent the break thinking about what Snape had said, and about her life, her future, and what she wanted out of it. She was going to be 17 soon, she recently acquired her apparition license, and soon she would have unfettered access to all of the Lestrange accounts. She started planning, carefully gathering up all of her most loved and valuable things from her room and packing it to bring with her at Hogwarts. She wouldn't tell the Tonks yet of her plans, not until she was certain and she had her affairs in order, but she felt a change coming, and she was determined it was going to be on her own terms. So she smiled, she laughed, and she spent time with both her Ted and Andromeda, enjoying their efforts to make her feel like a part of the family. For a little while, mainly when Nymphadora forgot she hated her, she even believed it.
Returning to Hogwarts she worked closely with Professor Flitwick preparing the objects she was going to data mine. She had been fortunate that most of the Hogwarts staff volunteered for her project, and she secured firm commitments from Professor McGonagall, Professor Babbling, her aging ancient runes teacher, and Professor Snape. She also secured Mr Spavin from St Mungos and asked her uncle Ted to be involved as well. She wanted a variety of ages, both genders, and different wizarding heritage represented. She prepared the objects, six identical spheres, like bright, shining christmas baubles, one for each volunteer, and a control object for herself. Everything was in place, all she had to do was learn the bloody spell.
Learning how to cast the necessary spells for her independent study was a sweet torture. The incantation had to be said perfectly, and the wand movements needed to be exact. If she was off by even a sixteenth of an inch, the spell would fail. She ran through the wand movements for hours, until her arm shook and ached from the effort. She wanted to be able to cast the spell in her sleep, with no missteps.
When she finally managed to crack the bloody spell. She eagerly sent the baubles off to the appropriate volunteer for them to provide their magical sample in the form of a warding spell. While the baubles were away with her volunteer Cassiopeia felt the hollowness creep back in.
She had distracted herself successfully from her melancholy with her own personal projects, trying to figure out what she was going to do once she was a proper adult. She sent a few business owls, quietly making enquiries to the bank and hired a solicitor to help her with what promised to be a mound of paperwork and to keep her enquiries private from the Malfoys. She wanted no interference.
When her 17th birthday finally came there was very little fanfare. She received a few owls in the morning with small presents and promises of celebrations over the easter holiday. Without any friends to celebrate with, and her cousin offering a very unenthusiastic happy birthday in passing in the corridor the day continued as most days did. She spent it locked up in a special classroom Professor Flitwick had put aside for her to do her work in, laboriously poring over the complicated spell diagrams from her baubles, looking for patterns and clues to who the original caster was.
She wrote home to the Tonks that she would not be returning home for the Easter holidays, explaining she was close to a breakthrough on her research project and couldn't bear to be away from it for a few weeks, afraid that she would lose the thread she was following. They wrote back that they were of course disappointed, hoping to celebrate her birthday properly, but understood. She was one of the last people to board the Hogwarts Express bound for London that Easter trip, and sat in the luggage compartment to ensure she had absolute privacy.
She was careful to stay hidden from the Tonks and the Weasleys, who were there for their twin trouble maker sons and Percy, and anyone else who would call attention to her. She wanted privacy for what she was going to do, and it wouldn't do to be recognised on the platform. Certain she was in the clear Cassiopeia grabbed her small backpack, all she had packed for the trip, and apparated to the foyer of Gringotts bank.
Her solicitor was a muggleborn witch Ms. M Lima who was certified in both the muggle and wizarding world. She was the only solicitor in the UK to work in both worlds with a reputation for being dogged, ruthless, and highly competent. She worked freelance, mainly for the ministry to find the paper trail evidence of tax evasions, making her highly unpopular in the pureblooded community.
Cassiopeia knew she was the only person to hire to oversee her assets. And so she greeted the small woman at Gringotts. Ms Lima was dressed smartly in business robes, carrying a little briefcase at her side, her hair perfectly coiffed and her eyes clear and bright.
"Miss Tonks." She greeted, offering her hand.
Ms Lima worked well with the goblins of Gringotts who cared more for their treasures than they did wizarding politics. Because she often brought more money into the bank, and because she was clear in all of her contracts, she shared a lot of goodwill with the bank staff. That goodwill transferred to Cassiopeia as they began their meeting.
It was all standard contractual proceedings, as she turned 17 she was granted full, legal access to all of the family vaults, including her mothers share of the Black fortune and the Lestrange fortune. However, she had no idea just what the actual monetary value of her new assets were. So she hired Ms Lima to oversee the evaluation and consolidation. She understood that the Lestranges had wealth beyond the UK, she wanted to have complete oversight of every property, every galleon, and every heirloom. It was a large, and perhaps dangerous job, but her solicitor was happy for the work and was paid generously. She was also warned not to directly touch any object that was not a coin until Cassiopeia had a chance to examine it. She didn't want to risk her solicitors life with a curse, it'd be a complete waste.
She also discussed with the banker, a goblin named Ragnok, possible investment opportunities within the bank, and requested a portfolio to be put together for her to peruse and decide on. Ragnok's eyes shined with greed and glee as he grinned and delegated the task to another goblin who scurried off. Cassiopeia had every intention to work and foster good relations with the bank and the goblins who ran it knowing that she was going to apply to work with the bank and its goblins as a cursebreaker when she left Hogwarts.
After concluding her business at the bank, leaving with a sizable amount of wizarding and muggle money in her possession, Cassiopeia treated her solicitor to dinner at a nice muggle restaurant, toasting to the beginning of a wonderful professional relationship. She was making the young woman very wealthy in her own right, and the woman was making Cassiopeia's life and estate management simple and straightforward.
Despite spending a few years living in the muggle world, Cassiopeia still felt like an outsider there, there were some customs and social cues that were just different and had to be learned from birth. It was a feeling she sometimes felt from the wizarding world, growing up sheltered and under the Dark Lords influence, there were some things that to her seemed normal that was horrifying to anyone else.
But in the muggle world nobody knew who she was, her past, and her parents crimes. She wasnt tainted, and much preferred feeling the outsider with the anonymity. She felt a wild sense of freedom as she looked up her old friends from London who had helped her when she had ran away from the Tonks.
They were three people in the muggle world who had accepted her into their family without question, without obligation, and without prejudice. They had never asked who she was, where she came from, of questioned why she was so odd. When she became violent and got into a fight on the street, they would jump in without question, leaping to her defence. They compared knife concealment locations, and spent their copious free time listening to music, going to shows, and fighting skinheads.
Her friends were anti establishment, anti government, anti capitalism, and anti racism. They helped everyone who was in need, often jumping into fights to protect those less able to protect themselves. They had tattoos, piercings, odd coloured hair, and wore leather jackets emblazoned with political slogans and badges pinned on their chest, they were counter to everything proper in the country, independent and free. With them she felt as if she belonged, and with them, she felt at home. Being alien in their society was being normal.
It was ridiculous really. She was from two of the most pure blooded, anti muggle family trees in the wizarding world. She was the child of two of the most fearsome, bigoted, and violent criminals in recent history. She grew up in a classist society, where she was always taught she was superior to everyone save the Dark Lord himself.
She railed against the muggle world when she was forced to live in it. She counted down the days until she could return to her world, to where she belonged.
And after all of that, the place she was choosing to make her home in the world was in theirs, with a group of people that were counter to everything she was taught to be. It was liberating, freeing to finally choose to be with a family that chose her, that wanted to be with her, without any perceived obligations. Her parents had been stuck with her, the Tonks took her in because they felt they had to, and the Malfoys accepted her out of guilt. These people wanted her with them because they liked her.
And so she spent her holiday in the muggle world, getting into fights that sometimes turned to riots, going to shows with loud screaming lyrics in dingy basements, working and living in co op living spaces. These were places where the community could come together to support each other in a way the government failed in. It was home to other misfits, weirdos, counter, and rejected members of society. They lived together, built community centers and gardens to help feed each other, supported each other mentally and emotionally, and protected each other.
Cassiopeia was welcomed with no questions and with open arms into a world she was taught to hate and terrorise. And so she welcome all others into her home, sharing what she had, and mentally planning a way to maybe change the balance between the negativity she'd brought into the world with something positive. It was a seed of an idea, niggling in the back of her mind, but it was there, gaining the required nourishment to grow.
She wrote to her solicitor, pitching her idea and under her advice, her personal project was a go.
Xxx
She came back to Hogwarts revitalised and energised from her respite in the muggle world. She attacked her independent study, making a few small but significant breakthroughs. She had managed to isolate certain patterns in the spell diagrams that she suspected were wand signatures, details of the make and core of each wand. It was early days, but each success brought her closer to finishing her project and graduating from Hogwarts.
Her exams were challenging, and she had a few terrifying moments of complete hopelessness where her brain just refused to remember the required information in the moment. But in the end she decided she had probably done enough to continue into her last year, and that was all that mattered.
She watched Nymphadora from afar, the young woman crowing in elation as she walked out of her last exam, and celebrated with her friends during the end of the year feast. She was happy for her adopted sister and hoped she achieved everything she wanted to. She worried about her if she did become an auror, knowing full and well what dark witches and wizards were capable of. But it was her dream, and she wanted her to achieve it.
The Tonks' were all smiles and the odd tear when they arrived at Kings Cross, embracing Dora and congratulating her once more on her graduation. Her application was in, her interview was scheduled for the Auror training program, and they couldnt be happier for their daughter. Cassiopeia watched the happy family wistfully, with only a hint of well buried resentment and jealousy.
Would her mother and father celebrate her graduation? Would they have laughed and cried, eyes shining with pride and joy? Would they have wrapped her up in their arms, imparting their warmth and happiness in their embrace? Nymphadora was lucky for her family, and Cassiopeia was happy she appreciated them.
When the attention finally turned to her she smiled awkwardly, taking a small step back when Ted went in for the hug. She loved her Uncle Ted, even his unfortunate love of hugging, but what she was going to do would be easier for everyone if they didnt embrace.
His smile faltered, a small frown appearing at the edges of his mouth. "Alright Cass?"
She tried to smile through her nerves, her hands wringing her mother's silver bracelet in her anxiety. She had to tell them, it had to be a clean break.
"Come on Cass, we were going to take you girls out for a celebratory dinner. Both of our girls are all grown up and our family is all together again."
Her confidence waned. She would tell them tomorrow.
She accepted Ted's embrace and he pulled Nymphadora in as well, wrapping his arms around both of the girls who were now as tall as he was.
It was a perfect night, or so Ted had declared it over and over again, while Andromeda smiled happily. Cassiopeia was the only person to see the melancholy breaking through her expression as she surveyed the scene around the dinner booth.
As they walked back towards a safe apparition point, Andromeda wrapped her arm around Cassiopeia and slowed their pace so Ted and Nymphadora would walked further ahead, both happily and perhaps slightly drunkenly laughing and joking.
"Thank you for tonight Cassiopeia." Andromeda said lowly, "I know that wasn't your plan initially."
"How did you know I was leaving?" apparently she hadn't been as secretive as she had hoped.
"Oh love, I know you may hate to hear this, but you are indeed your mother's daughter in one aspect." She tensed in under the woman's arm, ready to pull away and argue, "You're fiercely independent. Bella couldn't wait to leave as soon as she turned 17, of course the circumstances were very different, she was getting married and joining Him. You are taking a different route in life. What are your plans?"
Her comparison, even with the qualifications made her twitch with irritation. "I purchased a few muggle buildings and have some plans to turn them into a community center. In the short term I have a flat in Bristol."
Andromeda missed a step in her surprise, with a shocked laugh bubbling forward. "I take it all back. You are nothing like my sister. Of all the things I thought you were going to say, I think that was not even in the realm of possibility."
Cassiopeia shrugged, feeling suddenly self conscious. Andromeda was the first person outside of her solicitor who knew her plans. "I have the whole of the Lestrange and most of the Black fortune at my fingertips. I might as well do something good with it." she looked guiltily up at Andromeda, "I can't give you any of it though. Nor Ted. Grandmother Black made certain that no money can ever be given to you or any of your descendents. I already looked into it, and even as sole heir, I cannot unwrite that." she said apologetically.
Andromeda squeezed her shoulders, smiling wistfully, "Never you mind about us. I knew what I was giving up when I married Ted. Money means nothing when i've got my family. That includes you by the way. Don't ever forget that."
Ted took it as well as he could when she broke the news to him the following morning, crying only a little as he hugged his niece goodbye. His words echoed Andromeda's, she was his daughter, if she wanted to be, and there would always be a place for her with them.
She felt light headed and her butterflies fluttered around her stomach as she left the Tonks' household, her few possessions in hand, ready to venture forth into the world both completely free and as an adult. Her flat was dingy and small, atop a small corner shop down a small street that was barely larger than an alleyway. Graffiti lined all the walls and a few pubs and clubs lined her street, the sounds of drunken revelry, music, and fights rang through the night most nights. It was hers though, and it was perfect.
Xxx
It wasn't long before Cassiopeia was back at Diagon Alley, buying school supplies for her final year at Hogwarts. She enjoyed the muggle world, preferred it most to the time to the wizarding world, but there was always something special about walking down the shopping street that warmed her heart. When she was younger the street had been barren and empty, with those shoppers only venturing out when they needed to, and everyone conducted their business as quickly as possible. Now it was a bright and cheerful place, where people had social visits, enjoyed the warm weather, and generally enjoyed life in a peaceful wizarding world.
She passed a gaggle of children with their faces pressed against the window of the Quidditch shop, all eagerly talking about the latest broomstick release, and wound her way through the potions shop, ignoring the cried of outrage about the latest prices of ingredients.
Finishing her shopping and grabbing a few extra items, Cassiopeia decided to settle down in the Leaky Cauldron for a quick pint before heading back home when she ran into a familiar and sorely missed face.
"Professor Quirrell!" she shouted out excitedly, grinning at one of her favourite teachers. "You're back from you sabbatical! How was it? Did you find religion while abroad?" she asked jokingly, pointing to his purple turban.
The poor man stumbled off his barstool and barely caught himself, pale with fright as his wide eyes scanned the room wildly.
"G-good heavens." he stuttered while shaking nervously. Her eyebrows raised in concern, he had always been an easily frightened man, but this was extreme.
"Sorry about that Professor," she apologized sheepishly, reaching out to help him adjust. He flinched back violently, bumping into the wall, his shaking increasing. She held her hands up in surrender, her smile dimming in concern.
"Oh. m-m-miss Tonks. A pleasure." he squeaked nervously, drawing in on himself.
"What was that? You a-asked me a q-q-quest-quest-" he struggled, his stutter growing more severe the harder he tried.
"Your turban sir, it's nice. Is it for religious reasons." she asked, saving him from his pain.
"Oh. n-no." he gave her a nervous smile.
Silence reigned between them as she struggled to find a new topic of conversation.
"Will you be coming back to Hogwarts sir? I am sorry to say that I dropped muggle studies, but I think you would be interested in my independent study project." she said, eager to tell him about her research. She had made huge progress over the summer, finding several interesting patterns that she could write about.
He opened his mouth to respond when his attention was drawn elsewhere. There was a great commotion in the pub as people eagerly gathered around the Hogwarts gamekeeper and a child next to him, introducing themselves and shaking the young man's hand.
She watched curiously as people were nearly falling over themselves in their haste, eyeing the boy critically. He didn't look like much, stick thin and in clothes that were more than several sizes too large for him. His hair was unkempt, and he had thick black glasses that looked like it was held together with blue tack and gaffa tape.
Quirrel took a step forward eagerly, drawing the attnetion of the oddly popular pair.
"Professor Quirrell" greeted Hagrid happily, "Harry, Professor Quirrell will be one of your teachers at Hogwarts."
"P-p-potter" he stuttered, shaking the boys hand, his eye twitching slightly. "C-can't t-tell you how p-pleased I am to meet you"
"What sort of magic do you teach Professor Quirrell." the boy asked politely
"D-Defense Against the D-D-Dark Arts" he muttered, looking slightly sick at the though, "N-not that you n-need it, eh P-P-Potter?" He let out a nervous laugh, "You'll be g-getting all your equipment I suppose? I've g-got to p-pick up a new b-book on vampires m-myself." he looked terrified at the prospect.
The boy never had a chance to respond, the crowd pushing the timid Professor out of the way so they could make their own greetings.
Mr Potter they said. Harry Potter. Cassiopeia held her bags tightly and backed away from the crowd gathering around the boy, her stomach twisting as she made her way to the door. She had to get out, get anywhere that wasn't there.
Harry Potter. The boy who lived.
It was because of him her life changed. He had caused the fall of the Dark Lord, as a baby. And now he was a boy, a young boy about to start at Hogwarts.
She took refuge in muggle London, deciding to go for several drinks in a muggle pub, drowning her anxiety and memories in spirits. She thought back to that day, when the Dark Lord fell, and the frenzy her parents had been in. She didn't know at the time that he had been defeated, they had all but forgotten about her, so eager and desperate to find him and find answers.
It wasn't until they tortured that couple, the Longbottoms, not even a month after his fall were they finally captured. They had a child too, she wondered how old he was. Maybe she would get lucky and he would be starting Hogwarts the next year instead of the upcoming one.
10 years. It had been 10 years since he fell. 10 years since her life had changed so radically. She drank and thought over the years, her time in various muggle group homes, finding the Tonks', and building up the community she was in now. She could almost forget, when she was with the muggles and her new commune, who she was and what she had done. The war faded to a distant memory, sometimes it felt like those events happened to a different person, and she was only witnessing the fragments of that life.
And then there were times like then, when it felt like everything she had done in the muggle world was a fantasy that belonged to a stranger. That she was no more than a tourist in that world, visiting and enjoying to delights of escapism, before returning to grim reality.
Harry Potter was starting at Hogwarts. The Harry Potter. The only person to ever face the Dark Lord and survive, and he had been only a baby.
Honestly, he terrified her.
She took another long drink of her scotch, relishing the burn of the liquor.
She rented a room in the pub, too drunk to safely apparate home, her stomach twisting from more than just the alcohol.
Harry Potter, his presence in their world was an omen. He would ignite old feelings and memories in others, only they would be more keen to return to the old ways. She worried about the attention the Potter boy would bring, and she worried that the Dark Lord would not be too far behind.
She had a nightmare for the first time in about a year that night, the alcohol dulling her normally well structured and disciplined mind.
In her nightmare, she was receiving the His mark as Hogwarts burned around her.
Xxx
A/N This feels like more a transition chapter again. sorry for the late upload, but i had just wasnt happy with this chapter so it was rewritten a few times. I do genuinely have very detailed writings of Cassiopeia's life in the muggle world, however I feel like including it here detracts from the story as it feels more like filler than anything. Same thing with her conversations with the solicitor, and the actual establishment of the buildings she bought, all anonymously. I might make mention to the details in later chapters.
But anyways, thanks for the reviews, and a few more favourites and follows. Hope you all enjoy, and know this part of the fic is almost over. We'll go through to her seventh year, and then end at her graduation. Part III will deal with the few years before Voldemort returns, and of course, the second war.