~ Chapter Twenty-One ~
Kisshu sighed, sinking back into the pillows. The canopy that draped over the bed glimmered under the chandelier, and he found it oddly serene. Ichigo's soft hair brushed his face, and he buried his nose into it, inhaling deeply. A sense of comfort stole his breath as he folded her into his arms. There was a resound atmosphere of security that the dimension offered, and Ichigo's head resting against his chest echoed the feeling.
He couldn't see her expression, but he could feel her mind open to him. Like a flower to the dawning sun, its petals unfurled, allowing him access to every thought that passed through her conscious. There was warmth there that embraced him, and he burrowed into it, allowing the Bond to tie together every thread that made them individuals.
~ Tell me a secret. ~ Ichigo said softly.
He smiled to himself, smoothing his thumb in slow circles over the palm of her hand.
[ Will you tell me one in return?]
~ I suppose. ~
Kisshu closed his eyes, pulling her flush against him. Her back pressed tightly against his chest, allowing no room for discomfort. A sigh of pleasure escaped him as she nestled her head into the curve between his neck and shoulder. He couldn't remember a time where Ichigo would have ever willingly snuggled with him like this. The fact was exhilarating.
[ A long time ago, when I was a child, something quite similar to the Bond occurred on my planet. I was very small, and Pai had just become an apprentice in technology. He lived with my family for a time, partially because my Uncle was occupied in the on-goings of the Council with resolving the issues rising within the planet's condition, and partially because my father was also in the field of technological research. ]
~ Wait! Pai is your cousin? ~
[ Technically speaking. ]
Ichigo fell silent, and he could mentally feel her prodding him to continue.
[ Though it may come as a surprise, it was my parents who were the first victims of the Bond. There was a chemical malfunction in my father's research, and the both of them suffered from it. ]
Ichigo stiffened against him, twisting around to meet his eyes. Astonishment met him there, her lips parting in disbelief.
~ Why didn't you tell me? ~
[ You would have expected me to know an answer. And I didn't. ]
She furrowed her brow, ~ You said once that it had happened to some people on your planet before, but they never cured it. ~
[ And they didn't want to. They were perfectly happy together, and if anything it made them closer than physically possible. ]
Ichigo pressed her lips into a thin line, her face tight with thought. He couldn't grasp onto what she was thinking, there was too much going on in her head. He could only catch glimpses, and most were emotion. He smiled grimly.
He attempted at saying something through the Bond, but she was too engrossed to notice, and she unintentionally blocked him. Kisshu sighed.
"Are you upset with me?"
She jerked out of her reverie, blinking at him in surprise.
"No, not really."
Her expression didn't match her voice, and he couldn't quite pinpoint what her reaction was. She confounded him. Kisshu stared at her quietly.
"What?" She asked.
"I don't understand. Did I say something wrong? Are you angry with me?"
Ichigo threw up her hands, exasperation washing over her features. It was a fresh contrast to her previous expression, and Kisshu found it a relief.
"I already told you I wasn't!"
"I recall you saying 'not really'."
Ichigo swallowed, pulling away from him. She curved her legs under herself and sat on them, her hands in her lap. The absence of her warmth left his chest hollow.
"I'm just…" She took a deep breath, "I just wish that things had turned out differently, in a way. I miss my old life, and my parents, friends…"
"The boy." Kisshu hissed between gritted teeth.
Ichigo bit her lower lip, narrowing her eyes at him irritably. She surprised him, however, when she didn't protest or argue. Astonished anger rose in him, and Kisshu could feel his blood begin to boil in his veins. His skin grew uncomfortably hot, and he had a wild urge to bite something.
"Is that it, then? After all of this," He gestured with widespread arms, "You still want him? I can't please you, Ichigo. Not without tearing myself apart from the inside out."
The girl shook her head, "Don't start, Kisshu. It's not like that!"
"Then what is it like? I'm tired, honey. I'm tired and worn-out by being this princely character that always comes to your rescue. Where do we draw the line where I'm the good guy or the bad guy? Because I have a feeling that no matter how hard I try I'm always going to be the latter to you."
Ichigo squeezed her eyes shut, forcing back the hot wetness that was already threatening to slip out. He waited for her response, but she refused to give in to his anger. She stayed silent, her hands balled tightly into fists. Kisshu leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest.
When she did respond, she didn't use her mind. She didn't want to open it to him, if even in the smallest way. It hurt too badly to let him see her vulnerability.
"Why?" She breathed shakily, "Why does it always happen like this? I don't want to fight with you, and yet somehow it always comes back to this. Somehow, it's like we're meant to be enemies, if even in our best moments."
"I don't want to be your enemy, Ichigo. If I did, I wouldn't be here. I'd be with Pai and Taruto planning your little planet's demise."
"Stop it! Stop being a jerk, Kisshu."
Kisshu let out a feral growl, "No, you stop it! Stop being so indecisive, Kitten. Do you think you're the only one hurting?"
"No!"
The boy pursed his lips, lifting a hand to cup her chin. Her eyes flew open, and he caught her gaze, holding it.
"It's a wondrous thing, Ichigo. It's marvelous and cruel how we can be so tightly intertwined that every thought we have is shared as a single body, and yet you can't even see what you do to me."
His eyes softened with bitter irony. Ichigo lowered her gaze, forcefully blocking out the pain that was there in his amber orbs. She didn't want to see it there, to know that she had caused it.
"I want you, Ichigo. And if I can't have all of you, then I won't have you at all. Letting you go would hurt less than having only pieces of you."
"You already have me," She said softly.
"Not all of you, apparently. You still want him."
"I want to be safe!" She cried.
Kisshu blinked in astonishment, taken aback. Ichigo lifted her hands, catching the tears that managed to escape. She swiped at them, sniffing delicately. The alien leaned forward carefully, resting his chin on her head. She flinched, and it tore at his insides.
"You don't need him to keep you safe anymore. I'm here."
"You're the one that hurts me the worst." She mumbled.
Kisshu chuckled softly, the anger ebbing leisurely in the presence of her soft sniffles. When she hiccupped, he thought he just might break from how cute and painful it was. Her recovering noises made Kisshu's heart bleed into his chest. He had caused that. He didn't know how to control himself sometimes, and he had lashed-out at her. Ichigo had made mistakes, and her indecisiveness drove him mad, but he loved her more than anything.
He sighed and collected her into his arms.
"It's because I love you." He whispered.
She didn't say anything, but he didn't expect her to.
"I don't want to talk anymore," She said quietly.
Kisshu released a breath, "Would you like to train?"
She nodded, pulling away from him. He ignored the sting that the movement left behind.
"Are you okay?"
Ryou had never been the sympathetic type, and was moved to anger faster than compassion – which was quite a feat in itself. This was the precise reason why Ichigo found herself looking at him in bewilderment.
"Are you okay?" She smiled.
The blond rolled his eyes, folding his arms over his chest. His lean figure inclined against one of the café tables.
"You haven't been acting like yourself." He said curtly.
Ichigo winced, turning her attention back to the broom in her hands. The bristles scraped over the floor, stirring the little dirt pile she'd already swept up. Somehow she found the dust bunnies far more interesting than Ryou's eyes burning into the side of her face.
"We may not be close, but I know you, Ichigo. I know your expressions, your mood swings, the way you talk, walk, and laugh. I've been around you long enough to know you're not being honest with everyone here. You're a terrible liar, and unlike the others, I can see straight through it."
"This floor is unusually dirty. Was the café busy today?"
"Ichigo…"
She let out an exasperated sigh, setting the broom against a chair. Ryou waited with a patient, passive posture that nagged at her irritable mood from before.
"I'm just tired."
"It's more than that."
"No, it's not! I…I'm tired of trying to please everyone. It feels like the more I try, the more I end up making myself miserable. I try to keep my parents happy, and that makes my life harder. I tried to keep Aoyama happy, and that failed, too. If I try to keep the girls happy, then…"
She drifted off, feeling her stomach sink. Ryou winged an eyebrow, his expression solemn.
"Who are you afraid of upsetting, Ichigo?"
She shook her head, swallowing. The fact was that her own brain had upset her. Somehow, without her knowledge, it had started to become a traitor to her pride, too. The little voice in the back of her mind howled with triumphant laughter, and she mentally snarled at it.
"Is it him?" Ryou asked sharply.
Ichigo jerked her attention back to his face. He almost looked a little upset, but she couldn't pinpoint why. Perhaps it was difficult for him to be caring like this.
"I want to do what is best for everyone." She said.
Ryou stared at her seriously for a moment, and then he did something that surprised her. He reached into his pocket, fishing for something. When he pulled it out, she couldn't retain a small sound of confusion.
The little pendant winked at her from under the iridescent lights. Its golden exterior looked just as it had before when she put it in her bag. Ichigo lifted her eyes to his in a questioning look.
"I modified it to your…changes. Its adaption to DNA had already allowed it to stretch to your transformation, but it needed modified."
"Thank you." She mumbled, curling her fingers over it.
Ryou caught her gaze, holding it there. He spoke slowly, as to make sure she understood every word.
"You're not a monster, Ichigo. Every one of the Mews thought so when we first found them, and it was you that helped them learn to accept who they were. Now it's your turn. If you really want to do what's best for everyone, then use these new abilities to change everything for better."
Ichigo bit back a sad smile, and nodded instead. She needed someone to tell her that, and Ryou was right. He lifted a hand, placing it on her shoulder and taking her by surprise. His blue eyes dug into her, pulling her in to listen.
"This idea of yours – to find the Blue Knight – is remarkable. No one else could have thought of that."
"Lettuce could have," Ichigo laughed softly.
"Maybe," He agreed, "But you took control of the situation and thought quickly. That is the mark of a leader. You can do this, and you will. We'll be behind you all of the way."
Ichigo squeezed the pendant in her hand, and she could have sworn she felt warmth emit from it. Yes, she would do this. To make up for everything, to insure the Mews' future. She would find him, and even if it killed her he would help.
"Let's do it tonight." She stated.
Ryou blinked in surprise, "Tonight?"
"We will find him tonight, and I have a plan. Gather everyone."
"Ichigo, I don't know if-"
"There will be a battle tonight, so make sure everyone is ready. I'm going to be the bait."
I'm disappointed with this chapter. I feel I could have done SO much better. Writer's block does that, and I'm rushing to get to the important details in the story without dragging it out. Be patient with me, this is my most active Fanfic. Lol
My sincerest apologies for all the Angst. It wasn't completely intended, and more often than not my plans for stories never quite turn out the way I wanted/expected them to. My fingers control my body when I'm at the keyboard, so what you see is not what I normally intended on giving you. If this needs to be rewritten do NOT stop yourself from letting me know.
Thank you for the reviews. Keep them coming. Reviews = updates. :)
Whitewolfffy~