Now I can't stop writing. I hope that I have not lost any of you. I am going to pick up the pace a bit, but still hit all of my ideas.
Enjoy!
Chapter Twenty-One
Enough
Robin stood in the small booth that had become his and Julia's. He was even beginning to pace a bit. He was never quite sure when she was going to appear, but he was willing to wait. It had been a less than a week since he had seen her, but it felt much longer. This feeling of anticipation was one thing he missed about Marian. That feeling he would get in the morning when he woke and wondered if he was going to see her. Wondering what they would talk about and what she would be wearing. He was even beginning to forget what her voice sounded like. Forgetting Marian was the one thing that he feared the most.
"You're going to wear out your boots pacing like that," he heard behind him and he knew who it was. He turned back around and saw Julia standing there with a basket on her hip. Robin laughed at her harmless teasing and walked closer to her. Julia put her basket down and met him in the middle. They came together in an embrace. Julia wrapped her arms around Robin and pulled him as close to her as she could.
She had never held him so tight before. It was almost as if she was holding on to her old life when she saw Robin. The life where she was Julia of Devonborough, not a peasant named Charlotte. Her true self, not the woman she was playing at Locksley. She missed her old self.
They loosened their embrace, but they did not pull apart right away. Sensing that things were becoming a bit tense, they each stepped back and tried to play it off as nothing.
"Have you been waiting long?" Julia asked.
"Not at all. How are you?" Robin inquired. He had been worried about her since he saw her stumble out of the booth last week with blood pouring onto the ground. He stayed back as long as he could that day, wanting to see what happened to her. He saw Gisborne take her in his arms and carry her away. It tormented him more then he thought possible. He remembered watching her cut into her arm so he and the gang could get away. He took her arm in his hands and looked at her covered wound.
"I'm fine,"
"Can you give me a real answer? Please," he asked very politely. He placed his hand under her chin and pulled her gaze to his. Her blue eyes looked so sad. She always did wear a brave face. He remembered when her father died. She did not cry once; not during his service or when others spoke well of him. But that night he and Marian sat with her as she finally let her guard down and mourned him. She was brave for others and would not give him an answer unless he pushed for one.
Julia knew that she could not dance around his questions anymore. She just did not have the strength for it.
"I feel like I am slipping away," her voice was so quiet. "I am being meek and dutiful and it is killing me,"
"Come back to the forest, with me," he took her face in his hands. He could feel her shaking under his grip. She never let her guard down this much. He had a feeling that he could easily carry her away without much protest, but that was not the way. She needed to choose on her own. He respected her too much to treat her any less.
"And let Gisborne get away with everything that he has done," her voice grew louder as she pulled away and begun pacing herself. "I know that what I am doing is working. His men think him a fool already and further appearances of The Nightwatchman will strengthen that," her back was to Robin as she finished her sentence. She did not see Robin roll his eyes and the anger rush over his face. He was tired of hearing about The Nightwatchman and he was really tired of her putting her life in danger.
"Julia, no. Enough of this already,"
"Enough of what? It seems to me that I am the only one doing anything about this. Do you have any idea of what I have had to do?" She was nearly screaming now and was about to let it slip. She was a hair's breadth of telling Robin everything.
"Marian enough!" As soon as the words left his mouth, he wanted to take them back. The look of betrayal on her face was unintentional, but it was there nonetheless. It was the mirror opposite of the apologetic one that he was wearing.
"Julia. My name is Julia," her voice came out through gritted teeth. She gathered her things and slipped out into the market. Robin went to chase after her, but a group of soldiers passed and he was forced to stay inside. He groaned in extreme frustration. How could he have been so stupid? It was going to take a lot to repair this break.
Julia walked back into the house at Locksley and had never been to angry. No it was not anger, it was indifference. She had been feeling that a lot lately. She did not care what was happening to her or to Robin for that matter. Underneath it all is was glad that Gisborne was not home. Who knows what she would have done to get back at Robin. Kill him or bed him, she was not quite sure which. She had no energy left; she'd had enough.
She was in the stable, tending to the mare when Gisborne returned home. She did not stop what she was doing, but he did not ignore him either. She gave him a small smile and the bow of head. Gisborne immediately noticed the change in her behavior toward him. Perhaps his apology was enough to mend the bridge between them. He told his stablemen to leave and walked across the barn to her side. She could hear his footsteps on the hay covered dirt and could almost feel him right behind her. She didn't move.
"I miss you," Gisborne whispered into her ear.
"I know," she responded as she continued to brush the horse's mane. He sat down next to her on a stack of boxes and pulled her into his side. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his forehead against her cheek.
"Have you forgiven me yet?" He asked in a light tone, hoping to get on her good side.
"No, I'm sorry I can't just yet,"
"What else do I have to do? I am sorry,"
"I know you are. I know," her voice was quiet so only he could hear. She pulled him into an embrace and rested her cheek against his shoulder. After the fight she had with Robin, she just wanted to feel. To be held by someone who wanted her and not just because she looked like her cousin. Gisborne tightened his hold around her and breathed in the smell of her skin. They stayed like that for awhile and it was her who lessened the hold. She sat back up and Gisborne returned his forehead against her cheek.
"I love you," Gisborne said in a voice that could barely be heard. She pulled back and looked on him.
"What?"
"I love you," he repeated in the same quiet voice. She let those words pour over her. She tried to take them all in. She rested her forehead against his and the silence in the barn linger. "Come and be with me," he whispered again.
"I can't,"
"Why?" he asked and tightened his grip around her waist.
"Because. If I did and I forgave everything that has passed between us, it would make what you just said to me mean nothing," he could see tears glistening her eyes. She kissed his forehead lightly, pulled out of his loose hold and walked into the house.
He watched her walk away and promised himself that he would make her understand. How he felt and how much he wanted her.
He promised.
The next morning Gisborne had a plan to show Charlotte just how much he cared for her. She was busy working in the kitchen when he entered. She looked up at him and that familiar light was in her eyes. The one that had missed more than he thought possible.
"Good morning," he tried not to show just how excited he was to see her like this again.
"Good morning, my lord," her smile was back. "What did you want for breakfast?" She asked as she poured him some water. He reached across the butcher's block and took her hand. She looked at him in confusion.
"Come with me,"
"Guy," she said in an exasperated tone. She thought she was done with evading him.
"Not like that. Come with me. I have a surprise for you," he pulled at her hand and she followed him out and into the stables. The mare and Gisborne's horse were already saddled and waiting.
"Where are we going?" She asked as she stood next to the mare. Gisborne came up behind her and placed his hands on her hips.
"It's a surprise," he breathed into her ear.
And then everything went black.
Whatta think!? I promise to consider all recommendations! Thanks for reading!
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