Interviews with a Tactician

by Scourge of Infinis

In which Robin decides to conduct interviews with existing and potential Shepherds to ensure their loyalty and commitment to the cause (and some other details). What could possibly go wrong?

21. Tharja

I can't believe how long this took and how much life got in the way while I was writing it. But hey, new chapter is new and here!

Happy holidays!

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Today was a new day for Robin. Another chance to make things right and not wallow in his own misery. A chance to start anew and turn a new page in his life and stuff. Well, technically it's been a few weeks of that now, but it was always good to appreciate how far he'd come. Because Robin thought that he'd come a long way ever since his little breakdown.

Now, he was confident, self-assured and driven. Driven to succeed, driven to not let any more of his friends die, and most of all, driven to end this blasted war once and for all! But he was now safe in the knowledge that he didn't have to do it alone. Cordelia, Sumia and Libra made it very clear that they, as well as the rest of the Shepherds, were all there for him. This little bit of information helped Robin tremendously. Of course, he still felt the pressures of being responsible for his friends and the war, but at least he knew that he could go and talk to them about whatever was on his mind.

After the debacle in Plegia and Emmeryn's untimely demise, Robin definitely needed someone to talk to…he just didn't realize it. But as soon as he did, he made sure to talk to them and get everything off his chest. Having been the ones to finally drag him out of his stupor-like state, Cordelia and Sumia were especially eager to lend a sympathetic ear. Robin spent many hours talking with them about his fears, his guilt, his anxiety and everything else that was on his mind. And they listened. They listened and they comforted. And after every session, Robin left them feeling better. After a dozen or so of these little talk sessions, Robin felt as though he was back to his old self. Well, not exactly like his old self. Robin felt better, stronger and wiser. His friends helped him get over his grief and assure him that it wasn't his fault. They also reiterated their belief in him and how they still had faith in his abilities. Chrom was especially passionate in his declaration (not that Robin actually went to see him. Chrom had his own troubles and pressures to deal with and Robin didn't want to bother him with his. But, having walked in on one of Robin's sessions with Sumia, Chrom seemed surprisingly upset that Robin didn't come to him).

Thus invigorated and assured of the continued support of his friends, Robin threw himself into planning a renewed assault on Plegia with vigour in his heart and one goal in sight: absolute victory.

Of course, there were many ways to plan for a victory. Most of those involved drawing up battle plans until the wee hours of the morning and going over inventory to make sure everyone had everything they needed. Another way was to oversee everyone's training to ensure maximum battle readiness. And there was also what Robin was doing now: simulation.

Robin glanced down at his table and then at the book beside him. On his table were various detailed figurines of soldiers, wyverns, pegasi, different types of terrain, villages and castles. The solders were all set up in neat rows opposite each other and in their respective home territories. Robin was currently busy trying to figure out how each of them fought and what rules governed their effectiveness. He did this by reading the rulebook. At least, he tried to do so.

"I hate this stupid game. Why is it so complicated?!" Robin asked himself for the hundredth time as he turned to the chapter describing official wyvern rider usage.

Robin had a very love/hate relationship with the Risk/Reward board games. On the one side, he loved how it tried to stay accurate as was possible for a board game to the real conditions of battle. The many rules that governed unit mobility, strengths, weaknesses, advantages and disadvantages against certain foes and the many tactical strategies that were possible in the game made him giddy with excitement for when he could actually play the game for real. On the other hand, the rules this game had were many. Very, very many. The rulebook was actually thicker than some law texts he saw. Furthermore, there was always an element of luck when playing the game. Sometimes you could draw a card that gave you enough reinforcement points to create an army in one turn and reinforce entire regions. Other times, you just got screwed over because you drew the dreaded plague card. And given Robin's track record and general terrible luck, he was sure that he'd get screwed over more than he'd luck out. That is, if he ever actually managed to play.

Aside from trying to navigate the labyrinth that was the overlapping rules of the game, Robin had no one to play against other than himself. The gift of tactical prowess was a rare thing, having someone to enjoy and play against was even rarer. So Robin was stuck playing against himself…if he ever started. And he never started because of his firm belief in staying at least two steps ahead of his opponent. And since his opponent was himself, he needed to stay two steps ahead…of himself. This two steps staying aheading of himself was like a ball going back and forth. He knew what he wanted to do and he also knew what he wanted to do to counteract what he wanted to do. And to counteract what he wanted to do, he had to plan a way around what he wanted to do. Having done that, it was back to him to anticipate his own plans. And when he anticipated, he counter-planned. So he was stuck in a never-ending cycle of trying to anticipate and defeat himself. As a result, the troops that he so neatly assembled on the board never left their positions as he was too busy planning and countering his plans in his head.

This was the situation that Robin found himself when someone entered his tent.

"Friend Robin! The most tactful of tacticians! How fare you this fine day?"

"I…what?" snapped out of his eternal battle against himself, Robin shook his head. "Virion? What're you doing here?"

"Is that any way to treat and old friend? I simply came to check up on you and see how you were getting on."

"Oh. Okay. That's nice of you, but I'm doing fine. Just trying to figure something out."

"Ah, if you are having trouble, why not ask me to help you? If we combine our minds, there isn't anything in this entire planet that can stand in our way!"

"I appreciate the thought, but I don't think you can help me with this particular problem."

"Nonsense! I, Virion, am a man of many talents! There is nothing in the world that will–" Viron paused and looked at Robin's desk. "Ah, I see you've set up a Risk/Reward game. Elibe version, too."

"Oh yeah. That's actually the thing that's be–" Robin stopped mid-sentence at stared at Virion. "How do you know that I'm playing Risk/Reward?"

"Ah, I told you that I was a man of many talents, did I not? Strategy board games just so happen to be one of them! Risk/Reward ranks among my most favorite of board games. I daresay that I'm quite the strategist!" the archer declared proudly.

"You? A strategist?" Robin asked incredulously. "You can't be serious."

"I most certainly am. Well and truly serious. I have played my fair share of this game and have developed different tactics to become quite the worthy adversary."

"Oh I just have to see this. Will the great and noble Virion indulge me in a little match?"

"Are you sure you have the time? I don't think I need to tell you how long a Risk/Reward match can last."

"That's fine. We'll just play a quick skirmish…" Robin said as he set up another board. "Quick match. Whoever storms his enemy's castle wins. You game?"

"But of course!" Virion rubbed his hands together and sat down opposite Robin. "I shall strike with the nobility of the lion and defend with the grace of the swan. Victory shall be mine!"

"Right…" Robin smiled and rolled his eyes. "Let's hope your tactical prowess is better than your analogies. Now, let's begin."

"Very well. En garde!"

– One skirmish match later –

"And there! The noble forces of Bern storm the Etrurian castle to claim victory!"

Robin just started at the board in disbelief.

"What's the matter, Robin? Are you stunned speechless by the magnificent victory of my forces?"

"You…you beat me."

"I did. It was a victory worthy of the bards."

"You beat me. At a strategy game."

"Is that really so surprising? I did say I had much experience with this game."

"But you…and me…with the…" Robin sputtered as he tried to form a coherent sentence. In the end, he just settled on one word. "…How?"

"Did you truly doubt the tactical magnificence of the one and only Virion?"

"Truth be told, yes I did."

"Then you have your answer. Underestimating you opponent is the most dangerous thing you can do. It destroys armies and fells even the greatest of generals."

"…Again."

"Pardon me?"

"We're playing again," Robin said definitively. "I refuse to believe that you can so easily beat me. That was probably beginner's luck or something."

"My," Virion chuckled. "So firm in our belief, are we?"

"Very firm. Now, are we playing or what?"

"Well, when you put it that way, how can I refuse? We shall see if my 'beginner's luck' endures."

"You're going down!"

– Another skirmish match later –

"Hold! I need to retract my last move!"

"Ha ha! Were that all enemy generals so generous! But alas, this is war. ...Checkmate, my good sir."

"Damn it!" Robin exclaimed as he glared at the board. "If only I didn't move my wyverns I could've had this!"

"Oh ho! I told you I was both a lion and a swan, did I not? Twice I have proved this now."

"That's it, one more go. Right now, on a different board."

"Such passion! You really detest losing, don't you?"

"I can handle losing. Everyone loses once in a while," Robin said as he packed away the current board and set up the Jugdral board. "What I can't accept it losing at strategy. Strategy's the only thing I have! If not that, I might as well be just another guy with a very cool coat."

"Come now, Robin, I'm sure there's more to you than just tactics and your coat."

"I'm sure there is, but those two are the most important. Now, I've set up the board. Let's do this. I must avenge my honor as tactician!"

"Very well. I shall oblige. Let's see if the third time is indeed the charm, shall we?"

– Yet another skirmish match later –

"How does this keep on happening?!" Robin cried as he watched Virion take his castle yet again.

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you tip the scales!" Virion declared as he moved his forces into Robin's castle and made an overly exaggerated bow.

The tactician groaned and slammed his head onto the desk.

"Don't be like that! It was only natural since I have more experience playing this game than you. Why, given enough time, I'm sure you'll be able to hold your own against me."

"…"

"Robin, don't tell me this little game has upset you."

"What do you think?" asked the tactician sullenly. "Tactics and strategy are supposed to be my specialty, and I lose them both at this game of tactics and strategy. And I discover that you're a better tactician than me! I might as well hang up my coat now…"

"Robin, don't be silly!"

"Yeah, I know. I'd never actually give up my coat. You'd have to pry it off my cold, dead body. But the point remains. What am I doing here if you're so much better at this than I am?"

"You give yourself too little credit, Robin," Virion said, sounding surprisingly honest. "You do more for us than anyone. We all rely and look up to you for guidance when times are hard. You have kept us all alive during this unpleasant war, and that is more than I can do by a longshot."

Robin lifted his head off the table and looked at Virion curiously. "…Are you okay, Virion? You actually said something without your usual pomp and exaggerations."

"I am the picture of perfect health! But I also speak true. Your skills as a tactician exceed my own by leaps and bounds. I cannot possibly do what you do on a daily basis."

"And why's that?"

"Ah, that you will have to find out for yourself!"

"…What?"

"It wouldn't be a life lesson if I were to simply tell you. You must discover this yourself!" Virion said as he got up and gracefully made his way to the exit. "And with that, I bid you, adieu."

"Sometimes…I really hate that guy…" Robin muttered as he watched Virion leave before sighing.

Virion did have a point. Pompous and extravagant though he may be, he also apparently was a very capable tactician. Clearly more capable than Robin when it came to tactical board game simulators. Capable enough to beat him three times in a row! So there was definitely something there. A something that Robin had to fix and study.

"Robin?"

Because he couldn't let this stand! For one, his honor and pride demanded satisfaction! Being beaten by Virion was something that Robin would never live down. He had to avenge his defeats and beat Virion at least once. Once was enough to get him going. And then he would turn that one victory into many others and avenge all those times he lost!

"Robin."

And he had to re-examine all his board game strategies because now, there was a chance that he would come up against a tactician of Virion's caliber. And if that happened, well then they'd all be pretty screwed. Robin couldn't let that happen! He prided himself on getting his friends out alive through multiple battles and he planned on continuing this trend even if it meant reviewing every move, soldier and possible tactic that was, is, and could be used when next he would clash his toy army with Virion's. Robin would have victory that day!

"Robin!"

"Wha–?"

Startled out of his thoughts, the tactician blinked a few times before finding the source of the voice.

"Cordelia? When'd you get here?"

"Just now. Am I interrupting something?"

"No, I'm just thinking about…stuff."

"Stuff?"

"And things. Tactician-y things."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really. No offense, but it's all complicated jargon and maneuvers that are only comprehensible by us tacticians."

"Does it perhaps involve the fact that your armies lie defeated and your castle occupied by enemy soldiers?"

"…No."

"So I take it the arrangement of the figures on this board are purely coincidental?"

"Yes. That's exactly it. Pure coincidence and nothing else!" Robin said before quickly moving on so as not to let Cordelia pursue the matter further. "So, what brings you here?"

"Ah, of course," Cordelia gave Robin a knowing smile but decided to take his cue. "I'm just here to drop off a few reports."

"Thank you, I apprecia–" Robin began to say before he stopped at the handful of reports Cordelia was holding. "Wow, when you said few, you weren't kidding. Are you sure this is it?"

"Absolutely. I made sure to collect every one before submitting them to you. This is all there was."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Robin quickly glanced through and scratched his head in confusion.

"Trouble?"

"There's so few of them…and they all say the same thing. I just don't get it."

"Yes, it is a bit strange, isn't it? We're marching deep into enemy territory and the only hostile forces we've seen so far have been a few bands of wandering Risen."

"Yeah. Last time we were here, we had to fight off hordes of Plegian troops. Now, it's like we're just leisurely walking through desert. Not that I mind, but it gives me an eerie feeling. Where are all the enemy forces?"

"I don't suppose you think they've suddenly stopped fighting?"

"Oh, how I wish that were so!" Robin laughed. "But we can't possibly get that lucky. I guess we'll just have to keep our guard up in case we're walking into a trap of some sort. I'll try to run a few scenarios and plan things."

"Very well."

"Is there anything else?"

"Actually, yes."

"Oh?"

"I think you'll like this…." Cordelia smiled and presented a basket. "I come bearing gifts!"

"Goodie! I love it when people come to me with gifts! It's so much better than the usual reports and complaints. What have to got for me today?"

"Feast your eyes and your stomach, Robin, for I bring you…" Cordelia said dramatically as she pulled the sheet off her basket. "Your favorite. Pie!"

"Pie?!" Robin almost shot out of his seat when Cordleia placed it on his table. "It is pie! That's my most favoritest of all gifts! How did you know?!"

"You don't make it very difficult," laughed the pegasus knight. "It's just a little pick-me-up for all your hard work."

"Well, I appreciate the thought and gesture," Robin said as he got out his pie eating gear form his coat. "This is very kind of you. What flavor do you have for me today? Judging from the color and the smell, I say it's blueberry."

"That it is, and it's not me you should be thanking."

"Oh? Have you not joined the ranks of–" Robin began to say before he was interrupted.

"Robin! My good friend! How are you?"

"Chrom," the tactician greeted coolly.

"What's with the hostile reception? Is that any way to greet your friend?"

"That is exactly how I greet my friend who comes to me with evil, ulterior motives."

"What? Me? What ever gave you that idea?" Chrom asked innocently. "Can't a man just come by and see how his best friend is doing?"

"He may, but when he comes by exactly when his best friend gets a new serving of pie, and when this happens more than twice in a row, then you can excuse said best friend for thinking that something's up!" Robin replied curtly.

"Robin, you're being ridiculous."

"Am I? So are you saying that you didn't come seeking a piece of my pie?"

"Of course not! I didn't even know you had any pie."

"…"

"But now that you mention it, I—"

"I KNEW IT!" Robin exclaimed and pointed an accusatory figure at his best friend. "You deliberately come visiting me when I get new pies! You don't care about me, you just want my pies! Admit it!"

"Robin, that's crazy. I care about you as I would my brother. My timing just so happens to coincide nicely with times when you get new pies. It's all just some lucky coincidence."

"Chrom, there's no such thing in my line of work. Everything happens for a reason, and I have reason to believe you come to me on the pretext of wanting to see how I'm doing only to go and steal my hard earned pies!"

Before Chrom could respond or strenuously deny the accusation, someone ran into the tent.

"I heard many people mentioning pies and ran here as fast as I could. I'm not too late, am I?"

"Gauis," Robin greeted. "I should've known you'd show up."

"Easy there, Bubbles. The coldness in your voice is giving me chills. Why, I—" Gauis began before he saw what was on Robin's desk. "Ah, and there it is. A beautiful piece of baked goods if ever I saw one. You're gonna give me a piece, right?"

"Don't just march in here and assume I'm just going to give you a piece of my hard earned pie!" Robin exclaimed indignantly. "In fact, don't assume I'm giving you any at all"

"Aw, don't be like that, Bubbles! How can you hold out on your good pal Gauis? After all we've been through?"

"Gaius, Robin's right. It's his pie and he can give it out as he pleases," Chrom said authoritatively. "Besides, I was here first."

"You're giving Blue here some pie instead of me? That's cold, Bubbles. Real cold. Come on! You know how much pie and sugary substances mean to me. Please? Pretty please?"

"It's only fair. I care enough to come here first."

"Okay, first of all—"

"Oooh, what smells so good in here?"

Robin facepalmed as yet another person made his way into his tent.

"Hello, Stahl. We were just here to get some of Robin's pi–" Chrom paused and quickly corrected himself. "I mean, to see how our faithful tactician is doing."

"Yeah, and if you want the pie, you'll have to get in line. Apparently, some of us don't take our love for pie seriously despite dedicating themselves to getting all the sugary treats within a ten mile radius…" Gaius grumbled.

"Um…okay?" Stahl said slowly. "But I won't say no to a good piece of pie. It smells so good and I haven't eaten anything in half an hour!"

"Hey!" Robin shouted to get everyone's attention. "What's the meaning of all this and why are you all assuming you'll automatically get some pie. It's my pie!"

"Come now, Robin. We're all friends here. We go through a lot together every day. Don't we deserve to relax once in a while?"

"Listen to Blue, Bubbles. Friendship and stuff's all flowing here between us. Besides, sharing is caring. We care a lot about you, do you care about us enough to share some of your pie?"

"And some of us are really hungry!"

"Relaxing doesn't involve stealing people's pies, I care enough about you to keep you alive every day and Stahl, you ate half an hour ago."

And so a very heated argument broke out. Everyone involved made some very impassioned speeches, tempers flared and accusations made.

After lots or arguing, begging, haggling and many sarcastic remarks (mostly from Robin), three men left the tent with pie in their hands and smiles on their faces. The owner of the tent, meanwhile, was left empty handed.

"Sometimes I think I'm too nice for my own good…"

Cordelia, who had been watching and giggling at the scene that unfolded in front of her, decided to speak up.

"It's just one of the many traits that make you admirable."

"Maybe I should start begin less admirable and more selfish…"

"Don't be like that, Robin! Why would you even say that?"

"Why? I'll tell you why. Look!" Robin pointed to his empty plate. "All my so called friends stole my pie and left with nothing but crumbs. Crumbs!"

"It's not that bad, Robin…"

"Cordelia, I'm left with crumbs. That's worse than nothing!"

The pegasus knight shook her head in amusement. "Robin?"

"Yes?" the tactician said morosely.

"I might be able to make you feel better."

"Cordelia, unless you somehow manage to conjure up another pie, there's no way I'm recovering from this tragic event."

"Then it's a good thing I'm doing just that," Cordelia said as she reached into her basket.

"Hm…?" Robin looked over and immediately perked up when he saw what Cordelia was taking out. "Is…is that what I think it is?"

"It is," Cordelia smiled and put the new pie on Robin's desk. "You're not the only one who's noticed how our friends seem to visiting when you get some pie. So I came prepared for just such an occasion."

"Oooh, setting up a decoy to distract your enemies from the real target? I like the way you think! Devious, and very effective. I—" Robin began before he stopped suddenly. "Cordelia, answer me this: is that pie by any chance…strawberry?"

"Ah, good nose! It is, in fact, strawberry. Enjoy!"

"How can I not? The strawberry is only my most favorite of all berries! And when you put that in a pie…" Robin ate a piece of pie and moaned in pleasure. "So…good…"

"I'm glad you like it."

"Gods, I love it…and I love you!"

Ordinarily, such bold declarations would have Cordelia blushing. However, much like Sumia, Cordelia grew accustomed to the tactician's outbursts of affection, especially when pie was involved. Now, she simply learned to roll with them (although Robin's spike in enthusiasm around pie never ceased to amuse her).

"You shouldn't be thanking me, Robin."

"What? Why? You are the light that pierced my otherwise cloudy day and bestowed upon me this super delicious piece of culinary delicousness! Mmm…so…good…"

"Ah, but I'm only the delivery girl. You should save your compliments for Sumia. After all, she's the one who baked the pie."

"Really? Huh. Now that you mention it, it does have that amazing, deliciously sweet texture that only Sumia's pies have. But that's beside the point."

"…There's a point?"

"Yes. While – mmm, so delicious – Sumia is the supreme chef and the one who brings these delicious baked goods into the world, you are no less important. As the deliverer of these tasty treats to me, their most ardent of fans, you are performing a vital service and deserve no less love than Sumia. If Sumia is the great and godly chef, then you are the angel who spreads her gifts to the needy and the desperate. That's me, by the way."

"I…see. How very…philosophical of you."

"I try. Oh, by the way, I've got news for you."

"Nothing bad, I hope."

"Not bad. Just different."

"Oh?"

"Yes. It's both a change of partner and an experiment all in one."

"This sounds interesting…"

"I certainly think so!" Robin said cheerily as he cut himself another piece of pie. "Firstly, the tactical angle. You know that I like to try out different pairs during combat and see what works best, right?"

Cordelia nodded.

"Well, I discovered that fliers such as yourself work exceptionally well with other mounted soldiers. I discovered this when I – gods this pie is heavenly – paired Frederick with Sumia."

Cordelia waited for Robin to continue.

"So, I've decided to apply this rule to you. Being our other flier, I've decided to pair you up with Stahl. You know, the one with green armor? Kinda messy hair? Always hungry."

"Yes, I'm aware of who he is."

"Good. Now, the reason for my choice of Stahl is twofold. Firstly, the tactical reason as already mentioned. But the second reason is – mph, I practically feel the strawberries melting in my mouth – well, you're aware of his reputation around camp, right?"

Cordelia thought for a moment. "He's…known to be abnormally normal, correct?"

"Yeah. It's the weirdest thing, too. But it's true and scientifically proven! Anyway, apparently he's somehow managed to be the exact median by which our strength is judged. I'm not even joking. So, bearing in mind his reputation of averageness and how that affects us as a fighting force, so I asked myself, 'what can I possibly do with this?' And then I thought of you!"

"Okay…"

"See, Stahl has a reputation of doing things exactly average like. You, on the other hand, have a reputation for doing things all excellent like. So, what happens if we stick both of you together? Will Stahl suddenly improve because of your reputation for excellence in all of your endeavors? Will Stahl's averageness drag your overall performance down? That's what we aim to find out!"

"Ah, I see," Cordelia nodded in understanding. "I'll do my best to solve your little experiment as quickly and efficiently as possible. Be warned, I have no intention of slacking off and going easy on Stahl."

"And I don't intend you to. Train as you would and impose your standards on him if you deem it necessary. If anything, at least this'll improve our overall fighting capabilities, like when Miriel pushed him to his limits!"

"I'm afraid I wasn't there for that part of the experiment."

"It's for the best. Man, that was a tough week. I made some very poor decisions then…"

"Er, Robin? Are you okay? Your face just went pale…"

"Yeah, just…reliving some very painful and unpleasant memories. I –" Robin stopped and started frantically looking around.

"What's wrong?"

"I sense…danger…"

Cordelia looked around in alarm. "Enemy forces? Spies? Assassins? Should we warn the others?"

"No, it's not that. It's something…different. Someone's coming for that which I hold most dear…"

"What?"

"My danger pie senses are tingling. Cordelia, I'm sorry for what you're about to witness," and before the pegasus knight could open her mouth and ask what Robin was talking about, the tactician suddenly dropped his utensils and began eating his pie with wild abandon.

Just as Robin stuffed the last piece of pie into his mouth, someone came barging into his tent.

"S-sorry I'm late. I didn't…miss the pie, did…I?"

"Vaike," greeted Cordelia.

Robin tried to speak, but ended up making some incomprehensible noises because of how full his mouth was.

"Oh, h-hey…Cordelia…" Vaike panted. "Whew! Teach can't remember runnin' so fast in forever! Takes the wind outta ya it does! Ooof…anyway, what'd you say, Robin? It all sounded like some muffled garbling noises."

"Mrpharf…" the tactician swallowed his food and cleared his throat. "I mean, sorry. There's just no pie left."

"Wha—?" Vaike gasped in shock. "None? But…how? Teach bolted here as soon as he heard that you were givin' away free pie!"

"What? Who said that? I'd never do something like that!"

"Chrom, Gaius and Stahl disagree. Besides, I saw the pieces they were holdin' in their hands. Don't try to deny it!"

Robin growled. "Those dastands! Spreading such lies…this has to be part of some sort of conspiracy to rob me of my pies…"

"Sooo…there's really no pie left?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. No. Pie, that is. No pie. Nope. None. Those three got all of it and I only got a little bit. Yep."

Vaike looked like someone just kicked his puppy. "N-no way…I was too late…?"

"Afraid so."

"That's it! Teach got a new resolution this day! Train to get faster so this doesn't happen again! The next time you'll have some pie, The Vaike will be the first one at your tent, plate ready and everythin'!"

"You know, you could just…wait until dinner time. Sumia usually bakes them for us then. Sometimes. When she's not busy."

"Bah!" Dinner time's the worst time to get some, mostly because there aint' nothing to get! More people means that there's a bigger chance of missin' out on the delicious pies. Nah, I gotta get some when my odds are at their best, that time bein' when you get yours. Now, Teach is off to gain some speed!"

With that, Vaike darted out of Robin's tent.

"Yet another person after my pie. I'm going to have to be careful when and where I eat now…" Robin shook his head. He was about to say something else before he felt something strange. "Hey, Cordelia?"

The pagasus knight, who had been watching the exchange in amused silence, turned to the tactician. "What is it, Robin?"

"Have you ever gotten the feeling that you're being watched?"

"I can't say I have. Why? Have you?"

"Yeah…I kinda have. It's the weirdest thing. Sometimes, I'm just doing whatever and minding my own business, when I get a chill up my spine or something…" Robin said and looked around uneasily. "You don't suppose it's spies, do you?"

"Robin, you yourself have drawn up our camp patrol routes and schedules. Infiltration is practically impossible," assured Cordelia. "And we haven't seen any enemy activity or suspicious individuals, so we're perfectly safe."

"I guess. It's just…the feeling comes and goes. I don't know what to make of it."

"I'm sure it's just nerves. We are fighting a war in the middle of enemy territory. I'd say a healthy bit of caution is not unusual."

"Well, when you put it that way…" Robin leaned back and relaxed. "Man, helping me with my workload, emotional and mental worries. You're the best secretary ever!"

"No matter how many times you say it, it's always nice to hear," Cordelia chuckled. "Now, if there is nothing else, I think I shall go and seek out my new partner."

"Have fun! I look forward to seeing what you two are capable of!"

As he saw Cordelia walking off, Robin sighed in contentment. He was a happy man. A man with pie in his stomach and no enemies to worry about. Sure, they were going to have their ultimate showdown with Gangrel eventually, but it was nice to not have to worry over enemies in the shadows or behind dunes. It certainly wasn't like last time they were here. Now, the only thing they had to worry about was Risen, but mindless undead soldiers are easy to see and outmaneuver. So, at least for now, Robin could take it easy. Easy enough to take a walk outside.

Robin was in such a good mood, that not even the blazing Plegian sun could dampen his spirits. Such was the amazing power of Sumia's pie. It helped that it was strawberry – the most powerful and potent of all berries. Nothing could ruin this day. Nothing!

"WHOA!"

Not even loud flying objects! Because, happy as he might've been, Robin's reflexes were still active and alert. And when he heard someone shouting, he immediately ducked in cover. This turned out to be the correct course of action because Robin felt (and heard) someone flying over him followed by a crashing noise and some groaning.

When Robin got up and dusted himself off, he saw Sully approaching.

"Hey Robin. What're you doing on the ground?" asked the knight as she offered Robin her hand.

"I…don't really know," Robin replied as he grabbed Sully's hand and pulled himself up. "I heard shouting and then my reflexes kicked in."

"Oh, that? That was just Donnel."

"…What?"

"Yeah, Donnel decided to get some training in with me. Went about as expected," Sully said nonchalantly. "He's got potential, but he's still green with swords. Clumsy."

"Really? Donnel?" Robin asked as he turned around. Sure enough, he could make out a familiar pair of legs in the pile of fallen crates. "…Is he going to be all right?"

"He'll be fine. It was nothing but a little sparring. Right, Donnel?"

"You betcha…" came the unsteady reply from under the crates.

"Uh…huh. Well, if you say so," Robin said slowly before deciding to change the subject. "So, I take it your training is going well?"

"Well enough, although not as well as it could!"

"Trouble on the training field?"

"It's that damn Lon'qu!" Sully sighed in frustration. "He's one hell of a warrior. We've all seen it on the battlefield, but he becomes different on the training field, at least, he does with me. No matter how much we spar, I he can only give me half his effort. Something about women that makes him uneasy. I say that's a load of crap! I can't really feel good about all those times I beat him if I know he's not really trying!"

"That's quite the dilemma, but you know what they say: 'when you can't get your opponent to fight with all he's got, fight harder to force him to give it all he's got.'"

"…Who the hell says that?"

"People. The people who make up all the sayings. You know, them. Besides, you can always get a few pointers from some of the others. You've met Gregor, right?"

"The old mercenary?"

"Yeah, him. I'm sure he has a bunch of experience under his belt. Train with him some and maybe you'll get some ideas on how to get Lon'qu to fight for real…and beat him!"

"That's not a bad idea…" Sully muttered and became thoughtful. "I can spread my training around to different people instead on single-mindedly focusing on beating one opponent. Get some tips from one to beat the other…I like it!"

"Great! Glad I could help."

"You're a pretty swell guy, Robin. Always ready with a helpful piece of advice. Thanks!" Sully said as she slapped him on the back. "I think I'll go challenge Gregor right now!"

"Right, you do that…" Robin chuckled as he watched Sully leave. When the knight was gone, he sighed and rubbed his back. "Why does she always hit so hard…?"

"Robin!"

"Wha—Oof!" the tactician began before he felt something hitting his stomach. When he looked down, he saw a familiar little girl hugging him. "Nowi, what do you want?"

"Nothing, I'm just glad to see you!"

"Right, well, you're hugging my waist pretty tight. Did you really miss me that much?"

The manakete nodded. "I sure did! And I'm really happy to see you! It's been sooooo boring around here."

"I sincerely doubt that. With all the people around here, how can you not find something to do?"

"Because they're all off busy training. That's boring and makes you tired and sweaty! But now that I've found you, we can play!"

"No," Robin flatly refused.

"Awww, why not?"

"Firstly, because we're still at war. You don't play around when you're at war! You have to be alert and vigilant. And secondly, last time we played, you almost burned me alive! I mean, what kind of insane dangerous game is 'Duck Duck Dragon' anyway!?"

"But it was fun!" insisted Nowi.

"It was not fun!" snapped Robin. "You almost burned me alive with your dragon breath! You're just lucky that my coat has some sort of magic coating or something, otherwise I could've totally died!"

"But you didn't! I always make sure not to hurt my friends when we play our games. Now, come on! Let's play something!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeaaase?"

"No."

"Pllllleeeeeeeaaaaaaaase?"

"…You're not going to leave me alone until you get what you want, are you?"

"That's the idea!" Nowi said cheerily. "So you gonna play with me or what?"

"Seriously, no one else who you can bother?"

"Nope. Ever since I played house with Lon'qu, it's been soo boring. I can't even—"

"Wait, what?"

"What?"

"What did you just say?"

"I want you to play with me?"

"No, after that."

"It's really boring?"

"Before that."

"I played house with Lon'qu?"

"Thaaat's it."

"Er, Robin? Are you okay? You have a creepy smile on your face..."

"Do I? I'm sorry, it's just…trying to imagine Lon'qu playing house," Robin sickered. "It's just too much…"

"Does that mean you'll play it with me?!" Nowi asked hopefully.

"No," Robin's snickering immediacy ceased. "Now stop asking."

"You're no fun," pouted Nowi. "Please?"

"No."

"Pleea—"

Robin sighed in frustration. This was getting nowhere. He had no intention of playing with Nowi and she wouldn't leave him alone until she found someone. Well, maybe Robin could help and find someone for her. But who?

"—eeeeeeaaaaaaa—"

Nowi's begging didn't help matters. So, Robin just shouted the first name that came to mind.

"Donnel!"

"Ya called?"

"What? GAH!" Robin jumped back as Donnel's voice came from right beside him. And indeed, there was the village boy, standing right there are if nothing happened to him.

"Wha…? But, how…?" Robin tried to process how Donnel went from being buried under a bunch of crates to standing in front of him, but then decided he had better things to do. "Whatever. Donnel, I have a very special and important assignment for you."

"Whatever ya got fer me, I'm certain I can handle it!" Donnel declared confidently.

"That's the spirit! And you'll need all that spirit for your assignment is Nowi."

"Huh?"

"That's right. I'm now designating you as her official playmate. Any time she wants to play, you're the first person she'll go to. It's now officially your duty to entertain her. Are you up for the task, soldier?"

"Err, I…I guess so. It's just that I—"

"Really?!" exclaimed Nowi excitedly. "I officially get a playmate?!"

"That's right! Every time you want someone to play with, seek out Donnel. It's his job around here now!" Robin said before turning to Donnel. "Keep her happy and entertained. Think you can do that?"

"Uh…yes?" Donnel answered in confusion, still not entirely sure how he'd been dragged into this situation.

"Great! Have fun, you two. Donnel here's full of energy so you can play as long as you like, Nowi! And Donnel? Nowi here turns into a dragon. Playing with her will probably help toughen you up and get more endurance…or something. See what you can come up with. Given the fact that you're learning how to use a new weapon, Nowi's probably your ticket to not totally dying. So have fun playing together and stuff!"

And before any of them could say anything further, Robin quickly got the hell out of there. Sure, throwing Donnel to the mercy of Nowi wasn't exactly the most ethical thing to do, but it was better Donnel than him! Robin had too many important things to do around camp to be spending time running around and doing gods know what with Nowi. Donnel was way better suited for that kind of thing. Besides, he needed to stick him with someone to eventually fight on the battlefield and, being a dragon, Nowi was the perfect one to stick him to. This way, Nowi gets a playmate, Donnel doesn't die and Robin gets some peace. Everybody wins!

Robin breathed a sigh of relief before he got that feeling again. The feeling that he was being watched. He was sure someone was watching him now. It felt different than his usual paranoia. And whoever this person was, they were very, very close by…

"Whoever you are, I know you're out there!" Robin called out as put a hand on his tome for good measure. "Don't make me shoot random lightning bolts until I get you! I'll totally do it!"

After a moment's silence, an eerie woman emerged as if from the shadows, smiling in a way that made Robin very uncomfortable.

"Who are you?" demanded the tactician. "Stay where I can see you!"

"Me?" asked the woman innocently. "Why, I'm but an innocent dark mage who's looking at her beloved."

There was much in that phrase to set alarm bells ringing in Robin's head. He decided to latch on to the first.

"A dark mage? The only dark mages we've seen were Plegian soldiers. So that means you're working for them!" Robin exclaimed and started charging up a spell. "Tell me why you're here and maybe I won't kill you as hard as I intend to."

"Kill me? Why would you do that? Striking down one of your own doesn't seem to be the way you Ylisseans operate."

"Ha! Your word trickery won't work on me! As if we'd ever let you join us. As if you'd want to ever join us 'do-gooders' in the first place! See? I see right through your lies so you might as well start telling the truth."

"But I am," insisted the woman. "Why won't you believe me?"

"Because your story is so implausible it has to be a lie. You can't even back up your claim with evidence!"

"Ah, if it is evidence you seek, then evidence you shall have…" the woman said as she reached behind her and produced some documents. "Behold, all the evidence you need proving my membership with the Shepherds."

Robin cautiously approached and, not taking his eyes of the mysterious woman, took her papers and flipped through them.

"Copies," Robin scoffed. "Very good ones, but imitations of my official forms are just that. I don't know how you managed to so skillfully recreate my standard Shepherds contract, but I'll see to it that all of these are destroyed!"

"Look at the end."

"What?"

"Take a look at the final page."

Grunting, Robin did as he was told. His eyes went wide at what he saw.

"That is the seal and signature of the commander of these forces, is it not?" asked the woman. "Does that not prove that I am part of your little group?"

"…How."

"Hmm?"

"How did you manage to do this?"

"Oh, it wasn't that hard. Your blue haired commander approached me when he saw that I wasn't ready to die for Gangrel. After a few brief words, I agreed to switch sides and fight for you. Not long after that, he presented me with these papers to sign so he can 'be covered from all sides', in his words."

Robin just stared at the papers in his hand. Because there it was, all in front of him. Chrom's signature, seal of approval and everything authorizing this creepy looking lady's membership to the Shepherds.

Robin's eye twitched the longer he thought about what his friend did.

"CHROOOO—"

— Meanwhile, at the opposite end of the camp —

"Brrr…"

"Milord, are you well?" Frederick asked concernedly. "Is the desert wind getting to you? Shall I go fetch you some blankets and a warm coat?"

"That won't be necessary, Frederick," replied Chrom. "Aside from the fact that we're camped in a desert at midday, I don't think blankets or warm clothes will help this."

"What exactly is 'this'?"

"I'm not really sure. I suddenly felt a chill run up my spine, as if an untold amount of rage was just unleashed and aimed directly at me. That, and that I'm in for a very long and painful lecture…" Chrom shivered. "Gods, what a terrifying thought…"

"I'm sure you are just overthinking it, milord," Frederick said confidently. "Being our leader, you have much on you mind and carry many burdens on your shoulders. Perhaps you are overworked?"

"I certainly hope that's the case, Frederick. I really do…"

— Back at the other end of the camp —

"—OOOOOOOOM!" Robin yelled and took a deep breath to calm himself. "You and I are going to have a very long talk after this…"

"You look a bit stressed out, Robin. Do you want me to massage your shoulders and help you relax? Heh heh heh…"

"I would be more inclined to take that offer if I didn't suspect you to be an enemy agent and if you didn't finish that phrase with a creepy laugh."

"Come now, Robin. I would never do anything to hurt you. And if I was truly an enemy agent, don't you think I would've killed you all a long time ago?"

"A long time ag—? Just how long were you with us?"

"I was with you since the events at the Plegia Castle courtyard."

"You were…but that was weeks ago!"

"Indeed."

Robin reeled at the realization. "And…and that's also when I started to get those funny feelings of being watched. Was that your doing?"

The woman chuckled eerily. "Ah, so you did feel my presence. As expected…my love."

"I…what?"

"Oh yes. I realized it the first moment we locked eyes. 'He isn't like the others,' I thought. 'He's the one I've been seeking!'"

"Okay, listen…" Robin quickly looked at his documents. "…Tharja. I don't know who you are or what your deal is, but you better start explaining yourself right the hell now. Have you been watching me all this time?"

"Oh yes," the woman named Tharja nodded enthusiastically. "Ever since I joined, I've been watching your every...single...move. Yesterday you read two books and part of a third. You snacked on an apple. And last night, you turned over 12 times in your sleep. ...Well below your average."

"You've been watching me sleep?!" Robin was quickly starting to get freaked out.

Tharja frowned. "I thought you'd be grateful."

"Why would I be grateful for you watching me sleep? That's just really, really creepy! Have you been watching me all these days? All day and every day?"

"…Yes."

"Oh boy…" Robin exhaled deeply. He felt he was getting ever closer to a freaking out the longer he talked to Tharja. "I feel that I'll need to lie down after this…"

"Are you not feeling well? Why don't you call me when you lie down. I'll take care of you. ...Veeery good care."

"Yeah right. I'm not letting you near me when I'm awake. It's bad enough you watch me when I sleep!" Robin exclaimed and took a few steps back. "Now then, you may have somehow convinced Chrom that you're Shepherd material, but I'll still need to okay it. So, make your case because I have more than half a mind to veto this whole thing."

"But why do you feel the need to separate us?" Tharja asked. "Do you not feel the bond that naturally draws us together?"

"Yeah…that's all probably on you," Robin replied dryly. "Besides, I'm looking for more practical reasons to hire people. Invisible bonds are nice and all, but how are you on the battlefield"?

"That's fine. Perhaps you do not yet see how we are meant to be together. You will in time. And I shall be waiting…and watching…" Tharja chuckled darkly. "As for your other question, I'm a dark mage. You should know that we are very capable of fending for yourselves and eliminating our enemies in many gruesome ways. Is that not reason enough to keep me?"

"Eh," Robin pulled his roster out of his sleep and got out his pen. "I'll need a bit more reason that that. I mean, what do you do that other mages don't?"

"We deal in dark magic."

"What's that supposed to mean? How's it any different from regular magic?"

"Oh, it is very different…" Tharja grinned evilly. "How does using your enemies' lifeforce to sustain your own on the battlefield sound? Healing your own wounds while inflicting grave ones on your enemies? Or using your rage to deal tremendous amounts of damage to whoever you please? Cursing your enemies while you sit a comfortable distance away? These are just some of the many things that dark magic give access to."

"Interesting…" Robin was intrigued, but didn't want to get his hopes up. It sounded a bit too good. "And you say that you can do all this?"

"I can. Any dark mage can. All it takes is skill and the right spells."

"And I assume you have both."

"I have the skill, yes. And I just so happen to have a spellbook on me…" Tharja reached behind her and took out an ominous looking tome. "This is a Nosferatu tome. It enables the wielder to deal damage to the enemy and transform some of that damage to healing energy to heal him or herself."

"Fascinating…" Robin whispered in awe. He had never really seen tomes like this one. At least, he didn't let his enemies live long enough to use them if they did have them. If all Plegian dark mages had tomes like the ones Tharja described, that would be very, very bad.

"Can I touch it?"

"You can do anything you like. But only you. No one else."

Robin approached and lightly ran his hand over the tome. As he did so, both his hand and the tome began to glow. Robin felt as though something deep inside him resonated with the magic contained inside the book. Whatever it was, it felt dark, but also somehow…familiar.

The tactician snapped his hand away from the tome and stared.

"Incredible…" muttered Tharja.

"What's incredible?" Robin asked, confused. "What was that? What just happened? Why did everything just become so…glowy?"

"It means you have potential!" Tharja said giddily. "Usually, only dark mages or those with the potential for the dark arts can get any sort of reaction from dark magic tomes."

"So…what you're saying is that ordinary mages can't use dark magic."

"Only if they have the potential and only if they undergo training. Otherwise, any dark magic tomes will be useless in their hands."

"Okay…" Robin really didn't want to ask what he was going to ask, but he needed to know. "So, being an ordinary schmuk that I am, I nevertheless got some sort of reaction from your tome. Does that mean I can be a dark mage?"

Tharja nodded. "Based on how naturally you responded to the dark magic within this tome, I think there is something in you that has a natural affinity to this magic. Something fascinating. Something dark."

Robin shuddered. "I really don't like the sound of that…"

"Oh, but you should! This means that you can use the destructive power of dark magic yourself. You clearly have a gift for it, having gotten such a reaction without any training. Imagine what you can do if you undergo the proper dark mage training. It would make you so…so…" Tharja shivered pleasantly.

"And I suppose you're just the dark mage I need to teach me?"

"Do you see any other willing dark mages?"

"…No. Every one of them either wants to kill me or is six feet under."

"Then I am your best choice."

Robin looked at the dark mage dubiously.

"Don't be like that! I promise, I'll be a very good and thorough instructor. We won't rest until you'll be able curse your way through an entire army."

Robin knew this was a bad idea. Everything about it screamed "Bad Idea" with a capital "B". Tharja was a new and creepy member of their team. And although she was a member of their team, she was also recently on the other side. Granted, the fact that she stuck with them for so long and didn't murder anyone probably meant that Robin should give her the benefit of the doubt. But she admitted to watching him sleep and had some creepy obsession with him!

Then again, this new information did open up many new opportunities that Robin was very keen to explore. Dark magic sounded like it had its uses on the battlefield. It also sounded very rad. And Tharja was the only dark mage they had who wasn't out to kill them. She was willing. She knew her stuff…probably. And Robin did really want to know more about himself and how much dark magic he could sling…

Robin briefly looked at the dark mage. She was looking back with a very eager expression. One that made her actually look…normal.

What the hell? Robin made very many poor decisions in his short life and they usually didn't go very badly. And whatever it was inside him pulled him to dark magic. Insisted upon it. So why not?

"…Fine. I'll do it."

"You won't regret this!" Tharja's smile spread across her entire face. "With my help, you'll be the best dark mage in the realm. You have the potential, all we need to do is hone and refine it."

"Yeah…" Robin said, somewhat enthusiastically.

"Shall we start?"

"What? Now? So soon?"

"Of course. Dark magic waits for no one. Besides," Tharja slid closer to Robin and ran her finger along Robin's chest. "I want to see what you're capable of."

"I…" Robin began to say before he stopped. It was only now that Tharja was so close that he was able to see what he was wearing. And what she was wearing left little to the imagination!

Look at her body….

Robin quickly shook his head and blushed furiously. This was going to lead to bad places, he just knew it. He had to get out of there fast!

"U-uh, m-maybe later, okay?" the tactician stammered while trying to avoid looking at Tharja. "Long day and all, right? Ha ha ha…"

"Robin? Are you well? Your face has gone all red. What ever is the matter?"

"Nothing! Nothing is the matter! I'm perfectly fine! I just gotta go now. B-bye!"

And for the second time that day, Robin ran away from a conversation. And the kept on running.

Thoughts of Tharja's body continued to run through the tactician's mind, diverting his blood flow to…lower regions. And that's why he had to get the hell out of there. Tharja having some sort of obsession with him was bad enough. If she ever found out what effect her choice of clothing had on him…Robin didn't even want to think what she'd do.

He needed to distract himself. Fine someone to talk to, do something, or…something! Anything to take his mind of Tharja and her figure, and curves, only covered by a thin layer of—

"Oh, Robin! There you are! How are yo—"

"Sumia! Oh thank gods!" Robin cried out as he ran into the pegasus knight and hugged her tightly.

"Robin?! What's gotten into you?" asked Sumia in confusion. "What's this all of a sudden?"

"I…I just had a very stressful experience and need someone to hold me."

"Heh, it seems you're the one doing all the holding…"

"Yeah, well…do you mind if we stay like this for a little bit?"

"Of course not. I'm always here for you," Sumia said as she wrapped her arms around the tactician. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Oh, you know. The usual. And the unusual."

"Meaning…?"

"Do you know Tharja?"

"Is that the name of that woman who joined us?"

"That's her."

"Well, I can't say I know her per se. She usually keeps to herself and doesn't talk with any of us. She also likes to skulk around the camp in the evening…"

"That sure sounds like something she'd do…" sighed Robin. "Well, I've just met her for the first time, and she's just as creepy up close as she is far away."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, apart from being a dark mage, I found out that she has an unhealthy crush on me."

"She…does?"

"Yep."

"How exactly do you know this?"

"She told me."

"What?"

"Yep. Pretty much admitted to stalking me, watching me sleep and calling me her 'love', among other things."

"That's…strange."

"It's not just strange, it's straight up creepy!" Robin disengaged and began pacing back and forth. "This is the weirdest thing to happen to me since Frederick barged into my tent and started dusting me! Oh, fate has a funny sense of humor. Of all the women I could've gotten, fate decides to send me a stalker. One who likes to watch me sleep and probably collects my hair and does other similarly creepy activities! Gods, why couldn't they send me a normal girl?"

"Is…is that what you want, Robin?" Sumia asked hesitantly. "A normal girl?"

"Of course! I'm not some sort of weirdo who finds the notion of stalking romantic and I definitely don't appreciate her watching me sleep!"

"Then…what do you find romantic?"

"What?" Robin stopped pacing and looked curiously at his friend.

"You know," Sumia avoided Robin's gaze. "I'm just wondering because the theme has been brought up."

"I don't really know. I can't say I've ever given it much thought. Too busy with the tactics and such. Besides, I don't think I have a romantic bone in my body. I think the only time I've ever come close to thinking about it was during our very long romance week at the book club."

"Wasn't it just wonderful?" Sumia gushed. "So much time spent reading all those amazing stories of love and romance even in the most unlikely places! It gives me hope that I still have a shot despite being clumsy old me…"

"What? Come on, Sumia. You're a catch! Any man would be lucky to have you! I'm sure you'll find your prince eventually! I bet he's just around the corner, waiting on his majestic white horse to sweep you off your feet and carry you to his big and lavish castle so you two can live your lives happily ever after."

Sumia giggled. "That's quite the picture you painted, Robin. Are you sure you're not secretly a romantic?"

"Oh, I'm quite sure," laughed Robin. "Besides, I've noticed that's been your favorite scenario and couple of all the books we've been reading. Am I wrong?"

"You know, I would've said you got it just right if you'd asked me before."

"Buuuut?"

"Recently, I think my tastes have changed."

"Oh? Are you no longer rooting for the fair maiden and the prince?"

"I don't think I am. I've now found a new character type that I want the maiden to get with."

"Well color me surprised. Last I remember, you and Cordelia loved it when the maiden got with the price. You two practically squealed when the books got to their confession scenes."

Sumia blushed. "We did not!"

"Oh, but you did," Robin said as he smiled mischievously. "After all, I was there to hear all of it."

"No!"

"Yes."

"Oh, how embarrassing! Getting excited over such trivial things. We must have look so silly!"

"No. Well, a bit, yes. But there was also something very adorable about grown women getting excited like little schoolgirls…"

Sumia's blush intensified. "Robin!"

"…As is a certain pegasus knight's reaction when she gets embarrassed!" laughed the tactician. "I'm sorry, Sumia, but sometimes I can't help but tease you!"

"You're terrible…" Sumia murmured before she got an idea. "So terrible, that…I may stop making pies for you!"

Robin's smile was instantly replaced with a look of horror. "W-what? Just because I teased you a little? Don't you think that's going a bit overboard?"

"I think it's only fair, don't you?"

"I don't think it's fair at all!" Robin cried out. "Sumia, I don't think I can live without your pies! Now that I've gotten a taste, it's too much! Please, please, please don't deprive me of them!"

"I don't know…" Sumia pretended to think.

"Please! I'll do anything you want! I'll stop the teasing and even never talk to you again if you want!" Robin dropped to his knees and hugged Sumia's waist. "Please? Pretty please?"

"Robin?"

"Yes?"

"It looks like you're not the only one who knows how to tease."

"Huh?" the confused tactician looked up. "What do you—?"

"After you made your love for my pies so apparent so many times, do you really think I'll take them away from you?" Sumia smiled and ran her fingers through the tactician's hair. "It would simply be too cruel…"

Robin's sense of relief was so great that he could do nothing but sigh and bury his head in Sumia's stomach.

"And besides…" continued the pegasus knight as she blushed slightly. "I don't dislike it when you tease me…"

"Gods, Sumia…" Robin closed his eyes and sighed. "You shouldn't joke about such things. I swear I saw my entire, short life pass before my eyes when you said that."

"Still dramatic as ever about pies, are we?" giggled Sumia.

"Always. Your pies are serious business and form a very big part of my life," Robin said, completely unironically. "Like today. Your strawberry pie and its gambit really brightened up my day."

"Ah yes, I'm glad you got my gift. I've noticed my pies are quite popular around camp and that you usually don't get yours, so I decided to think like a tactician and plan for a way to get one to you whole and untouched!"

Robin was about to say something before he realized something. Well, two somethings. Firstly, his knees hurt. Secondly, he was kneeling in front of Sumia with his arms wrapped around her waist and his head resting on her stomach. All this in the middle of camp, no less. Should anyone find them, there would be much awkward explaining to do.

And so, Robin slowly made to get up (despite how strangely nice that situation felt), dusted himself off, and opened his mouth to continue the conversation…

"ROBIN!"

…Only to freeze and for his blood to run cold.

"Oh gods. Oh gods. Please don't let her have noticed me. Please don't let her have noticed—"

"Robin! There you are!"

"…She noticed me," Robin sighed heavily before taking a deep breath and turning around. "…Hello, Maribelle."

"Don't you 'hello Maribelle' me!" said the noblewoman sternly. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Uh…talking to my friend Sumia?"

"I can see that. Greetings to you, Sumia. Do you mind if I borrow our dear tactician for a moment?"

"I, uh…" Sumia glanced at Robin who shook his head furiously. "What…for?"

"It's time for our daily nobility lessons and Robin here is late. I have promised to transform Robin into a noble and these intense lessons are how I intend to do it. I trust you understand the importance of not missing any one of these lessons for him?"

"Um…"

"Good! Now if you excuse us, we have to go and master eating like a noble."

"Uh, Maribelle? Do you think it'll be possible to…postpone today's lesson?" ventured the tactician desperately. "I mean, we…uh…"

"No excuses! You aren't doing anything important right now which means you have some free time. Now, come along."

"But Maribelle, I—"

"No excuses!"

"I—"

"Robin, these delaying tactics are beneath you and do nothing for your noble image. We'll have to teach you how to delay as the nobles do in court. But that is a lesson for another day. Come along," said Maribelle as she grabbed Robin's ear and dragged him away.

"Ow! Owowowowow! You don't have to drag me by my ear!" cried the hapless tactician. "I'm perfectly capable of walking by myself!"

"I'm sure you are, dear. This is just my way of…encouraging you. Now, wave goodbye to Sumia."

"Urgh, bye Sumia! We'll continue our discussion another time!"

As he waved goodbye to a very confused Sumia, Robin reflected back on his life and the poor choices that he made that winded him up in this situation. Granted, it wasn't the strangest situation he found himself in, but it was up there. And now he was in for another one of Maribelle's lessons in nobility. Gods, he hoped Tharja wasn't as intense as Maribelle was.

His thoughts suddenly returned to the dark mage and their brief encounter today. He probably should've spent more time talking to her and vetting her. And he would've done it, but then she moved closer and Robin noticed what she was wearing and…

Robin stopped his thoughts before they went down in that direction. Talking to Sumia definably helped get Tharja's body off his mind. All he had to do now was not think about the dark mage and her (admittedly stunning) body and revealing clothes. Think other thoughts. Pleasant thoughts. Think of the sky. Think of pie. Think of Sumia. Think of how cute Sumia looked when she was embarrassed. Think of Cordelia. Think about how competent she was as his assistant. Think of both Sumia and Cordelia. Think of how they flew majestically on their pegasi. Think how they would look if they wore Tharja's outfi—

Robin forcefully stopped his thoughts from going down a very dangerous path. Maybe Maribelle's lesson was exactly what he needed to take his mind off things right now…