Hello again! I almost didn't get this chapter up tonight, as I had visitors who just ... would ... not ... leave! (How rude? Don't they realise I have stories to update?)

Quite a few of you have commented on the fact that Alice came up with a convoluted justification for them becoming lovers, namely that they could wed 'secretly' by sharing their vows just between the two of them, to which Jasper agrees. And then they don't share the vows? Honestly, I'm as puzzled by that as you guys are. Did I forget to write them? Do they say them later? I guess we'll all find out together!

For those of you who don't know, I suffer from a progressive, neurodegenerative disorder. For the last few years, I have not had the memory or cognitive ability to function very well let alone write. A new treatment protocol is working wonders and has restored more IQ points than I thought I would ever see again. Hence the reason why I am madly writing and updating as quickly as possible in case it doesn't last. I am confidant that it will...but there are no guarantees. Unfortunately, my dramatic improvement only affects my current situation and is unable to return to me the memories from the last few years that my brain did not 'store', which happen to be many and varied. When it comes to a story I wrote four years ago...the plot is almost as much a mystery to me as it is to you all. I do know there is a happy ending ahead, I'm just not 100% sure how we get there.

xxx Elise

~D&D~

Chapter 19

Respectable

"Will that be all, Mrs Cedric?" Alice wrapped the bottles of herbal tincture in paper and placed them carefully in a cardboard box. "You're not running low on liniment for your rheumatism?"

"Well, now that you mention it, I do need another jar. I would hate to run out now that the cold weather has set in. Do you have some ready-made?"

"I do indeed." Alice gestured to the neatly arrayed shelves behind her laden with tinctures, tonics, unguents, and all manner of remedies. Forkton's Herbal Emporium was in excellent order and doing a brisk trade, as was the adjoining consultancy, which wasn't operating quite as discreetly as Alice would have preferred. The waiting room was rarely empty of patients from the village, and beyond, come to seek advice and treatment for their ills. But who was she to turn them away? If they did encounter problems with the authorities, Alice would return to seeing patients exclusively in their homes, but this was so much more convenient.

To make matters even better, her now fully trained assistants were all working efficiently, easing Alice's load. Travelling to see the more distant patients and far-flung villages that were devoid of an herbalist of their own was still time-consuming. But with Jasper putting both the chaise and carriage at Alice's and her assistants' disposal much of the time, it was a lot easier than it used to be.

With business thriving and pennies piling up to form pounds, for the first time in her life, Alice had money in the bank. Edward insisted he wanted no repayment for his initial investment, seeing it as mere partial recompense for the saving of both his life and that of his family. At the rate she was going, she would soon be in the position to take on more trainees. It was all coming together in accordance with the plan she had devised after Edward had stunned her with his offer to support her work and fund a permanent home for her herbalism and midwifery practice.

If only her personal life was in such good order.

Glad of an empty shop, finally, and a few moments' peace, Alice returned to her workbench in the much warmer adjoining room. As she stirred a simmering mix of herbs and garlic on the fine, new stove, she was reminded of Jasper's goading comments about witches' concoctions brewed at midnight and garnished with incantations. It seemed a lifetime ago since he had been so scathing of her abilities and she had viewed him with antipathy in return. Things had certainly changed between them, becoming far more complicated.

She couldn't bring herself to regret her actions of the night before, though a part of her did wonder what on earth had possessed her to vigorously pursue a physical relationship when their options were so limited. It had taken some mental gymnastics to placate her conscience, as her reasoning had seemed valid at the time but now appeared rather iffy. Jasper had been easily led, not that she blamed him. She had practically thrown herself at the man, her behaviour undeniably wanton.

But she did love him, and it had been every bit as wonderful as she had hoped.

Smiling at the memory, Alice lifted a hand to press against her chest. Her breasts, today concealed beneath the bodice of her work dress, had been bared to her lover the night before, caressed and kissed for the very first time. She had shocked him with her offer to disrobe—even more than her proposal, she suspected. But that hadn't stopped him from showing his appreciation for her naked form or revealing his to her.

With my body I thee worship.

They might not have spoken the vows in their proper setting, but they had certainly expressed them with their actions. How wondrous had been the adoration of his hands and fingers, mouth and tongue. His tender touch and intimate caresses had brought her a delight she had only dreamed of experiencing. Even the somewhat painful loss of her virginity had felt like an act of love, of the giving of his body rather than the plundering of hers.

Alice's skin tingled, the still-tender place between her legs pulsing with remembered pleasure. How noble of him to make sure she received the same measure of release prior to intercourse that he was guaranteed to achieve through the intimate act. He had been right to do so, as even in her limited experience she doubted such a brief invasion of her person could provide the same satisfaction for a woman . . . especially not when it was her first time.

It was a pity she couldn't tell Isabella, as she would have liked to talk about the life-changing experience with someone she trusted. It would have been especially beneficial to share her feelings with a woman who knew what it was like to be swept up by passion. For all the babies Alice had delivered and advice she had given regarding procreation, how best to prevent or achieve it, Isabella was far more experienced when it came to conjugal relations. Her friend would have been the ideal candidate to answer the myriad questions now bubbling to the surface of Alice's mind. It also would have been nice to receive reassurance that she had not wilfully condemned both herself and her beloved to an eternity of torment in exchange for what many perceived as the fleeting pleasures of sin.

Alice's stomach churned.

Would Isabella be of the same mind as those who would judge her harshly for her choices? Or would she understand the impossibility of Alice and Jasper's situation? Isabella might be disappointed in her friend, though Alice hoped she would appreciate the purity of Jasper's and her feelings for one another and acknowledge the almost irresistible need to share one's heart, soul, and body with the person one loved.

The urge to speak with Isabella was almost as strong this morning as the desire to be with Jasper had been the night before. But, of course, she dared not breathe a word and could only hope her inner joy at loving and being loved was not reflected by a corresponding outer glow.

The newly installed bell jangled above the shop's door and, after shifting the cauldron of brewed herbs to a cooler place on the stovetop, Alice wiped her hands on her apron and went to serve her customers. It was surprising how many people had ventured out in the wintry weather, though she imagined they were determined to stock up on supplies before the snow piled any higher. It made sense, but the constant interruptions were a bother. Finding a suitable young lass to serve as a shop assistant and save Alice from this particular chore was high on her list of priorities.

Consequently, she should have been thrilled to discover the two younger Swan sisters waiting in the store. Rosalie was the ideal person to help her with the task. She had been only too happy to help find Jasper the extra staff he had needed, and she had a ready supply of at least partially educated young women in need of employment at the orphanage she funded, courtesy of Edward's largesse.

But Alice wasn't thrilled by her visitors, long-standing friends though they might be.

Other than Isabella, they were the two most likely to see beneath the surface of her carefully constructed veneer. Considering the twinges of guilt she still felt for not pursuing the possibility of Rosalie and Jasper's making a match, it was hardly surprising her face flamed when she saw them.

"Alice, you are looking wonderful!" Tanya declared by way of greeting. "I am so glad to see you are more like your old self, though I am sure you are still missing your aunt terribly."

"Of course, she is missing her," Rosalie said flatly. "The poor dear's not long gone. Are you well, Alice? You look flushed to me."

"Rosalie! Don't be rude. Alice doesn't look flushed, she looks lovely . . . and warm."

"I have been brewing the ingredients for a tonic to ease the symptoms of ague." Alice wiped a damp tendril of stray hair from her forehead, feeling rather frowzy in comparison to the well-groomed and fashionably attired sisters. "Word is a severe form of the illness, one accompanied by coughing and congestion, has reached Colyton."

"Are you sure you are not coming down with it?" Rosalie took a step back.

"No, I told you, I have been standing over the stove. Now what can I do for you both?" Alice asked, her tone somewhat brusque. Rosalie was renowned for her bluntness, something that didn't normally bother Alice. But on this particular day, her mood was somewhat fragile, and Rosalie appeared more of a threat than a friend.

"We came to see how you were faring," Tanya said, looking between her sister and Alice, her expression puzzled. "Isabella sends her love and an invitation to afternoon tea if you are available, and the weather holds."

Under different circumstances, Alice would have jumped at the chance but, doubting her ability to hide her innermost feelings, she was glad of an excuse not to attend. "I shall have to make it another time, as I have already arranged to have afternoon tea with Peter Whitlock," she said, smiling at the thought of seeing the boy.

"And Mr Whitlock? Will he be in attendance?" Rosalie asked.

"I assume so, as he invited me." Alice couldn't resist the dig. She was right. Rosalie was interested in Jasper, but she knew he wasn't interested in her. Certainly not now. He was with Alice . . . just not openly or in any sort of respectable manner that could be publicly acknowledged. Sighing, she added for the girls' benefit, "He is concerned about Peter's recovery."

"So, it is just a professional visit?"

"What else would it be?" Tanya asked with obvious bemusement. "It's not as if Alice and Mr Whitlock are courting. Everyone knows they can barely stand one another."

"Oh, do keep up," Rosalie said with a roll of her eyes. "Mr Whitlock and Alice mended their fences ages ago. Don't you recall the fuss everyone made when he waltzed with her at the christening ball?"

"You are right!" Tanya looked to Alice, her bright blue eyes wide. "Lady Westcott said his manner was positively flirtatious, not to mention that it was inappropriate for the two of you to be taking carriage drives together unchaperoned. I thought she was just being her usual stick-in-the-mud self, but if you are no longer at odds with Mr Whitlock, if he in fact likes you, it does rather change things."

"Don't be ridiculous, Tanya. You are letting your imagination run wild." Alice straightened the ledger and began tidying the already clean counter, afraid of meeting either girl's perceptive gaze. "Mr Whitlock and I occasionally work together, nothing more. I have been helping his son, and he has been assisting me with transport, and that is all there is to it. You both know my profession precludes me from courtship and, even if it didn't, Mr Whitlock is in no position to pursue it."

"Whyever not?" Rosalie asked, and Alice snapped the pencil in her hand in two. "I know he is only a lowly estate manager, but he is very handsome, and he has quite the heritage . . . a retired officer and son of a baron. Now that Peter is on the mend, I imagine he will be in the market for a wife to help mother the lad and add to his family. Half the debutantes in town have got him in their sights."

"That they do." Tanya giggled before eyeing her sister speculatively. "If Alice isn't interested, maybe you should go after Mr Whitlock, Rosalie. You would make a handsome couple."

"He can't afford a wife," Alice blurted.

Rosalie eyed her pointedly. "He can't afford a poor wife, you mean. Nor do I imagine he would tolerate one who works for a living."

"But he works for a living." Tanya's brow furrowed.

"It is not the same," Alice and Rosalie said in unison, about the only thing on which they were in agreement, other than Jasper's being desirable regardless of his eligibility.

"Have you considered the sacrifices you would have to make if you were to wed?" Alice asked Rosalie. She couldn't resist, even knowing she was stretching the bonds of their friendship, as well as her credibility when it came to denying any interest in Jasper. "You would have to give up your involvement in running the orphanage."

"That is charity work, not a profession."

"It takes up a lot of your time," Tanya added with a shrug. "Besides, I thought you wanted to go with us to London next year when Edward takes his place in the House of Lords. Don't you want to meet with that group of abolitionists to discuss your ideas for reform? Marriage would put a crimp in your plans, unless you can find a husband who is sympathetic and has the political clout to lobby for social change. Mr Whitlock's not exactly toplofty."

Alice held her breath. Tanya was forgetting that her sister's ten thousand pounds, if managed wisely, could see Jasper's fortunes restored. Alice could also imagine him being very supportive of Rosalie's causes, considering the efforts he had gone to on behalf of the district. It wasn't as if this was the first time she had thought the two would make a good match, but she had dismissed it as a possibility, wrongly assuming Rosalie was in the same boat as Alice in regard to career ambitions. But if Rosalie's work was viewed as a charitable undertaking, something tonnish ladies were permitted to engage in, she wouldn't be required to give it up when she wed.

"Do you want to marry Mr Whitlock?" Alice kept her voice steady, but she was forced to grip the edge of the counter to keep her body from wavering.

"I don't know." Rosalie fiddled with the cameo brooch adorning her plum-coloured winter coat. "It is not as if I am enamoured of the man." She looked up to meet Alice's troubled gaze. "I just find him appealing. I think he would make an excellent husband for the right woman, don't you?"

Alice managed a wan smile, though she feared it was more of a grimace. Of course, she thought he would make an excellent husband. She had virtually tricked him into agreeing to be hers in secret the night before. Now, in light of the potentially respectable relationship and financial rescue of which her presence in his life might be robbing him, it seemed a wicked thing to have done.

~D&D~

"You look tired, old fellow. Did you have a restless night?"

Edward's perfectly innocent query triggered a choking fit that required Jasper to down a hastily procured glass of water.

"Not, er, restless . . . just late. I didn't get back from Fulbright until after midnight," he admitted once he could speak without coughing, leaving out the part about not actually seeking his bed until the wee hours.

"Good Lord, man. Are you saying you rode through that storm?"

Jasper nodded, and Edward insisted he take the rest of the afternoon off. Jasper didn't argue and headed home in expectation of having a nap before Alice arrived for her visit. He would rather she didn't see him looking worn and weary after their night together when, if true to her delightful form, she would appear as fresh as a daisy.

Alice might get by on only a few hours' sleep, but he needed at least six or seven to function well. It was just one more example of how superior she was, how her strength of character and sheer fortitude put his to shame. He would never have summoned the courage to act on his desires and ask her to be his lover; it would have been unconscionable if he had. It was different with the proposition coming from Alice. She had a way of making impossible things possible, first by saving Peter's life and now by filling the void that had haunted Jasper's ever since his sham of a marriage. For far too long he had felt unwanted and uncared for, but Alice had changed all that. She had changed him, and he would be eternally grateful. The freely given gift of her body was a treasure he would forever cherish and hopefully partake of again . . . soon.

Just the thought of what they had shared, the memory of her luscious curves bared before him, set his emotions to whirling. No wonder Jenks, Edward's secretary, had asked Jasper if he was coming down with something, as he had lost track of the conversation several times during their meeting.

"Just weary," Jasper had said, the words seeming sacrilegious considering how pleased he was to be in his current state. Still, a rest would be good, as would an escape from the biting cold. It was only a short distance, but he should probably send Wickers with the carriage to collect Alice from the emporium later that afternoon and save her the walk.

He was unable to resist taking a minor detour on his homeward journey. It had been more than ten hours since he had seen her but felt much longer.

A glance through the window of the emporium showed the shop portion of Alice's new building filled with customers, so he reluctantly urged his horse onwards. Jasper wasn't sure how he was going to refrain from taking her in his arms the moment he saw her again, let alone hide his true feelings from those who must never discern them . . . namely everybody.

Heaving a gusty sigh, he turned up the road that led to his home. Jasper hated that he couldn't publicly acknowledge Alice, nor she him. Of course, even if they were wed they couldn't be overly familiar in public, but he would have loved to stand proudly at her side. To gaze upon her the way Edward looked at Isabella, regardless of the brows that were raised by the show of emotion, would have been sweet, indeed.

What wasn't sweet was the sight of an impressive, four-horse-drawn carriage blocking the road in front of the estate manager's residence. He had just come from the manor so knew it wasn't a recent acquisition of Edward's, but he had no idea who the devil it could be.

"Mr Whitlock, thank 'eavens yer 'ome." Mrs Carter flapped her hands when he entered the foyer. Wearing a brown dress, she reminded him of a flustered hen. "Ye've got visitors." She pointed to the parlour. "Well, not visitors exactly, as they say they're 'ere to stay."

"Who's here to stay?" he demanded, passing her his overcoat and then striding into the parlour. "I am not expecting anyone."

"Well, you should be." The impressively dressed older woman standing before his fireplace seemed far too grand for the modest room, the ostrich feathers in her elaborate hat waving back and forth. "You did tell us we had a home with you if worse came to worst." Looking around with her nose in the air, she sniffed. "Which it apparently has."

Jasper's stomach plummeted to his boots. He hadn't expected her to take him up on the offer so soon, and certainly not without warning.

"Hello, Mother. Penelope." He nodded to the pale young lady sitting slumped on his worn settee. "Welcome to Forkton."

~D&D~

We sort of had an explanation of the 'secret wedding vows' in this chapter, but I'm hoping there is more. I think Alice and Jasper are going to find it very difficult to hide their true feelings from...everyone, as Alice put it. Especially now that Jasper's mother and sister have arrived. I foresee some interesting times ahead. ;)

Thanks again for all your support of my stories. You guys are exceptionally agreeable!

xx Elise

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Information regarding my published books for those who are interested:

I've been doing some research on how best to increase my original stories' rankings on Amazon (the higher the ranking, the more Amazon promotes them to other readers), and this is done in two main ways - reviews and buys or 'borrows'. Since I've unexpectedly discovered that I receive more royalties when a story is borrowed for free by the reader through Kindle Prime or Unlimited than when a story is purchased outright, I have decided to drop the price of all my stories to just 99c (USD) in hopes of increasing their rankings. My sincere apologies to all of you lovely people who paid the higher price of $2.99. I honestly did not think I would drop the price any lower than that. If anyone is upset at having paid the extra two dollars, please PM me and maybe I can offer you an outtake of your choice as compensation. To those of you who have left reviews for my stories on Amazon ... thank you very, very much!

xx Elise