I head upstairs to get ready for bed. Todd is already in bed but doing some work on his tablet. I glance at him. His face, it seems to show no concern for anything that has transpired earlier this evening. I shower. I enter the bedroom again. Todd is still working. Todd, I say. He looks up at me. I've made a decision, I want to work with you at The Sun. He smiles, that's great, you can come down with me tomorrow. I want to learn everything, I say, everything about The Sun and Manning Enterprises. I crawl into bed, straddling him. I take the tablet from him and put it aside. But right now Mr. Manning, no more work. Yes dear, he says playfully, absolutely no more work. I kiss him, my hair falling down and around his face. He moans into my mouth. The vibration sends shivers through me. I want him so much at this very moment. Todd picks up on my eagerness as I begin to devour him. He flips me over onto my back, his eagerness is just as rampant as mine. He smells intoxicating, he feels magnificent, he sounds wonderful. This happens several times again during the night, so many different ways. He has me weak but satisfied, yet wanting more of him. We are sitting on the floor up against the bed. Some how we have ended up down here. The bedding is twisted and laying everywhere. I notice that we have knocked over and broken a lamp. The art work above our bed is crooked. Todd looks around, looks like a hurricane hit this place, Hurricane Dee to be exact. What got into you tonight? My head is resting on his chest, my fingers running through the golden hair on it. You did, I answer, you are the sexiest man I have ever seen or will ever want to see. Todd replies, no don't say that. Yes Todd it's true, you need to hear it. I look up at him and into his hazel eyes, I love you Todd, remember that, no matter what happens, I love you so much. He gives me a weird look, what's going to happen, he asks. I'm thinking to myself, a mighty storm is coming and who knows where that will leave us. It's just a figure of speech, I say. Well then, he says, the same goes for me, no matter what happens, I love you Dee. We kiss and we fall asleep still sitting on the floor against the bed and holding on to each other for dear life.
I throw myself into my work at The Sun, learning everything I can. I actually like all of it and Todd has been patient teaching me all he can. At first I thought that his employees would resent me, but they have been so helpful and kind. I don't see why Todd is so hard on them and I find myself doing damage control between him and them a lot of the time. The work has kept my mind off things. I know it has been too calm and I also know better than to think it will last. Todd has been seeing his therapist Dr. Campbell regularly. He is still having nightmares, but Post Traumatic Stress Disorder just doesn't go away, if ever. The symptoms may lessen, but it is always there. Tonight will be one of the nights Todd truly frightens me.
After a long day and a quick dinner Todd and I finally decide to turn in. He goes to shower as I shut lights off downstairs. I could do it by remote, but I always like to look out of the large windows onto the harbor before turning in. Todd steps out of the shower and wipes the fog off the bathroom mirror and there she is again. Irene. Hello my son. Todd shuts his eyes tightly hoping she will be gone when he opens them. No such luck. I'm still here, she says. Go away, says Todd. Is that anyway to talk to your mother, she says. Todd had not seen her in a month or so and thought she was gone for good. Did you miss me, she asks. What do you want from me, asks Todd desperately. I want you to open your eyes son. That pretty thing you married doesn't love you. Why do you think she wants to know everything about your business? Because she wants to take it all from you. No, no that's a lie, she loves me, replies Todd, his head hanging down. You're lying, leave me alone, Todd pleads. I'm not the one lying, says Irene, why don't you ask your bride about the secrets she is keeping from you. Shut up, shut the fuck up, Todd says angrily. Oh my, such language, you must have learned that from your father Peter. If you don't believe me why don't you ask her, whispers Irene. Todd can't take it anymore, he covers his ears and yells at the top of his lungs. Downstairs I hear Todd cry out. I run up the stairs and burst into the bathroom. Todd looks at me. I don't recognize him. He charges towards me grabbing me by the arms and pinning me against the wall so hard that I lose my breath. Todd stop please, It's me Dee. I told you to leave me the fuck alone you lying bitch, growls Todd. What are you talking about Todd, it's me, look at me. His grip on me is becoming tighter and I see the hatred in his eyes. Todd who do you see, who am I, I manage to ask through on coming tears and pain. You're Irene, he answers, and I'm going to get rid of you once and for all. No Todd, I'm Dee, Irene is not here, please believe me. Todd I love you, I love you, I love you. I keep repeating it hoping he hears me. His eyes change, his face changes and he realizes what he is doing and let's go of me. I collapse onto the floor. Todd staggers back and then falls to his knees, he grabs his hair and pulls. Oh my God, I'm losing my mind, he cries. I catch my breath and manage to get to him. I approach him cautiously. He looks up at me, he tries to speak, Dee I'm so... I know, I know baby, I say, she's gone and I'm here. I take him in my arms and rock him as we sit on the cool slate of the bathroom floor. I feel a tear fall from his eyes onto my arm and I cry too. I will have to call Dr. Campbell. My husband is breaking into a million pieces, along with my heart.
Dr. Campbell arrives at the penthouse. I have managed to put Todd into bed. He lay there just staring at nothing, not saying a word. Dr. Campbell and I discuss the evening's events, every last detail. He sees that I am very shaken. I had dealt with this behavior before in my practice, but this is different, it is my husband suffering and he is becoming more aggressive and violent. Did he hurt you Dee, asks Dr. Campbell. He didn't know who I was, I say. He thought I was his mother Irene and he wanted to kill me. This is very serious, I'm thinking maybe I should have Todd check into Shady Brook for a little while, says the doctor. I can have more one on one treatment with him there. I close my eyes, the thought of Todd at Shady Brook hurts. He will never go for it, I say. I know that Dee, but as his therapist, I can have him committed saying that he poses a danger to himself and others, especially you. The word committed never bothered me before, but now it is the most awful word I have ever heard where my husband is concerned. No, I say, I can't allow it. He will never go. Damn right I won't go. Dr. Campbell and I turn to see Todd standing at the top of the staircase looking angry. I am no way going to the nut house. Todd I was just suggesting a more intensive treatment, says Dr. Campbell. Yeah right, says Todd, the next thing I know you will be hooking me up to all kinds of torture devices and wanting to scramble my brains. In case you've forgotten Doc, I just escaped from eight years of just that kind of treatment, so no thanks. I go to Todd, he is now downstairs. I take his hand, it's alright Todd you don't have to go, but I think you should at least consider getting on some meds. When I was still his therapist I had prescribed medication for anxiety and depression which he never filled, but now with his PTSD symptoms becoming more frequent he would have to take them. I don't want pills, says Todd. Dr. Campbell speaks, Todd as your therapist I have to insist you take these medications or I will have to put in my report to the court and the judge that you are refusing treatment and subsequently you will be put back in jail. Todd looks at the doctor and then at me. Please Todd, I say, please do what Dr. Campbell says. I don't want you going back to jail and I know you don't want that either. You have started your new life here in Port Charles, you have Manning Enterprises. And your children Jack, Dani and little Sam, they wouldn't want that, you might not think so, but they need you. And especially Starr. At the mention of her name, Todds facial expression softens. Starr would be especially heart broken, she needs you here Todd, to protect her, she loves you so much. Todd sighs and closes his eyes, alright Dr. Campbell, prescribe whatever I need. After the doctor leaves, Todd is standing looking out of the windows onto the harbor. I sit on the couch and rub my arms where Todd had grabbed me. My back is aching from hitting the wall so hard. I'm sorry Dee, says Todd. He turns to face me. I remember what happened, I thought you were Irene and I couldn't take it anymore. I'm so sorry I hurt you, his voice begins to break. He sits besides me, I love you and I didn't mean to do that to you, I hate myself for what I'm putting you through. You need to go, get away from me and be safe. I look at Todd, you are my husband and we are in this together, I love you. When I told you about your family needing you, that includes me too. I need you. Todd looks at me and gives me a very slight smile. C'mon, I say, let's go to bed, you need to sleep. He takes my hand and we go upstairs.