A/N: Sorry this was late guys! But trust me it's worth it because for the first time it doesn't have any grammatical mistakes; run-ons, misspells, you name it. For the first time I got a beta, which I've been dying for and she is literally thee best. She's helped me so much I thought she deserved a shout-out. I'm looking forward to the rest of our work together so a huge thank you to RiannaBenden, you helped me out so much that my followers can actually understand it for once lol. Anyways, enjoy! For the first time you probably will XD
Episode 21: The One With Bellamy's Evil Twin
Bellamy barges in the Central Perk, a letter in his hand, the look on his face causing the group to look terrified. "Very funny, you guys. So funny."
Clarke exchanges looks with the group; she's usually the one to detect any hint of a lie, but from all of their faces no one understands what he means. "What?"
He hands her the letter in reply, and she pulls up the flap to read it aloud, "'Dear Police Officer Blake, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secret admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'P.S. Enclosed, please find 14 of my eyelashes.'"
Everyone cringes at the words. "Whichever one of you did this, 'fess up. I got eyelashes- or whatever those things were- all over my coat because of you guys." His eyes look over to Jasper who raises up his hand in surrender.
"Bell, none of us prank this hard and those were probably real eyelashes. None of us did anything." Clarke states.
Bellamy blinks, processing the words she said slowly before he takes off his coat and hands it to a man sitting down drinking his coffee. "Keep this." He says and sits down between Octavia and Clarke with a now very worried face realizing that those weren't Jasper and Monty prank eyelashes that they got from a store but actual, real, indeed, eyelashes.
"Ya know, in crazy world, giving eyelashes means you're married," Raven notes, smirking at Bellamy's glare.
Octavia grabs the letter, looking up at him with a panicked expression, "This came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building."
"Are you kidding me? I got a stalker, this - ugh." Bellamy sinks down in his chair, throwing the letter on the floor and scrubbing his hand over his face.
"Are you kidding me?! I've tried my whole life to get a stalker without being famous!" Jasper slams his foot down in anger.
Bellamy leans against the counter, Monty sitting behind him on the counter and Jasper looking in the fridge before closing it. "Hey, whaddya wanna do for dinner?" he asks.
Monty shrugs, "Well, we could just stay in and cook for ourselves." It takes only a beat before the two boys burst into hysterical laughter. Bellamy just rolls his eyes.
He's about to go over and order pizza when the buzzer goes off. Bellamy walks over, pressing the button and telling Jasper and Monty to keep it down before he answers, "Hello?"
"It's Erica." The intercom says.
Bellamy scrambles back, pressing his back against the counter as he tries to get his body as far away from the intercom as possible, as if she can reach through it and grab him. "The stalker!" he says, which makes both of the two boys come alert.
"Never mind, it's open," she says.
Jasper flails, running around Bellamy's tiny kitchen before grabbing a frying pan. Bellamy deadpans, along with a Monty giving Jasper that 'are you serious' look that almost everyone gives to Jasper on a daily basis. "Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon!" Bellamy scoffs.
"Call the girls!" Monty demands, and Bellamy dials their number and waits.
"The one time they're not home!" Bellamy growls, slamming the phone down.
"Okay, Okay, I got an idea!" Jasper says, "We'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's you 'cause you've never met."
Bellamy snatches the pan out of Jasper's grip and raises it above his head, clearly aiming to beat Jasper over the head with it, but Monty steps in between them with a frown, making Bellamy lower his arm. Monty sighs, explaining it slowly so Jasper understands, "That's how radio stars escape stalkers. But if she knows who he is and what his occupation is and where he lives, don't you think...I don't know...she knows what he looks like!?"
"Can't you whip out your police badge or something?" Monty suggests.
Bellamy raises an eyebrow. "And what, hit her with it? No! I can't arrest her for anything yet."
"She gave you eyelashes!" Jasper snaps, exasperated.
"It was one time. She needs to send them again, which would make it repeated unwanted communication, which I can arrest her for, but she only did it once."
"She's at your house without your permission!" Monty exclaims.
"Doesn't matter. It's an apartment building- she could easily say she was visiting a friend, and we left it open so it could be used as evidence to help her case."
Monty and Jasper smile, earning a very confused look from Bellamy, who demands, "What?"
"You know all your stuff!" They say, throwing themselves at him in an unwanted hug.
"I could arrest both of you for sexual assault."
"It's me." Erica says, knocking on the door.
"Save yourself." Bellamy whispers. "Hide."
Jasper grabs the dish soap, Monty right beside him with a spatula and they both nod at him. "We'll fight beside you."
Bellamy would be touched if it wasn't in this circumstance. "Uhh, this is it, this is how we're gonna die. Ready?" Bellamy asks.
Monty nods but Jasper opens the top of the dish soap he's holding before nodding. Bellamy swings open the door, raising his frying pan in the air and Erica smiles broadly. Jasper squeezes the dish soap in the air and Monty drops his spatula, stunned at how beautiful she was.
"Hi Bellamy," she smiles.
"Oh no," Bellamy mutters.
"It's me. Remember? From the fourth grade?"
Jasper and Monty run into the Central Perk, flailing arms and leaping towards the couch to reach the girls. "She found us! She found us!"
The girls stand up, Clarke sitting the boys down and pulling them behind her as they all prepare themselves for a fight. They've been through this millions of times before. Jasper and Monty are legendary for doing something stupid to the wrong guy and running, only for the woman to have to handle it. "Erica came!" Monty shouts.
"Eyelash girl?" Raven inquires.
Clarke's skin turns a deathly pale, shoulders hunching over, and before she can even ask, Octavia is quicker, "Where's my brother?"
"He's fine." Jasper reassures, causing both Octavia and Clarke's fists to unclench. "But he was forced to go on this date with her."
"Forced? How is a guy like Bellamy forced to do anything? He's Bellamy." Raven states.
Octavia and Clarke both sigh, Octavia slapping her forehead and Clarke folding her arms. "She cried didn't she?" They ask in unison.
"Yeah, he couldn't say no to her afterwards," Monty says.
"Typical Bellamy." Octavia rolls her eyes. "Never could say no to a girl if she started bawling her eyes out."
Clarke kneels down to them, "I can't believe he'd go so far as to have lunch with his stalker. What i-, what is she like? Would she hurt him?"
"Well, you remember Cathy Bates in Misery?" Monty asks.
The girls nod.
"Well, she looks the exact opposite of that." Jasper finishes for him.
Raven raises an eyebrow, "And she's not crazy?"
"Oh no no no, she's a whack-job. Thinks that they're married."
"Married?" Octavia asks before her eyes widen in realization, "Oh my god...Clarke, remember that time I told you the story of the one girl that proposed to Bell when he was in fourth grade? Her name was Erica too, wasn't it?"
Clarke hangs her head, "Yeah, but it couldn't be. He said no."
"He said he'd think about it because he didn't want to embarrass her in front of all her friends." Octavia corrects.
"Impossible. That's...insane!" Clarke exclaimed.
"This coming from the girl dating her first boyfriend who thought they were dating for all these years." Raven mutters under her breath, earning a high five from everyone but Clarke.
Clarke rolls her eyes, giving Raven a sharp raised eyebrow that could kill before going back to conversation. "Wells is a guy with a gentle heart that could wait an eternity for someone he cares about, that's not his fault, if anything it's honorable. Plus, you didn't see Wells give me a card full of eyelashes, did you?"
The crowd nods in agreement, muttering how she does have a point and Clarke grins victoriously.
"Oh, Bellamy, I've been waiting for this day."
Bellamy nods his head mutely, "Yeah, me too...um, why?"
Erica laughs, slapping his shoulder playfully and tweaking his nose. "It's our Anniversary, silly! Tell me you didn't forget."
Bellamy sighs, looking down at their appetizers to avoid her gaze and trying to figure out how he's going to tell this whack-job that they haven't been married all these years. "Look, Erica...beautiful Erica-"
"I knew you'd forget! Ugh!" She throws down her bread stick onto her plate and Bellamy scoots his seat back before she sighs, reaching over and holding his hand. "I'm sorry I yelled. It's just...we've been together all these years and it's the first time we can really celebrate and you forget? I just wanted this night to be perfect. I got you a present and everything..."
"Sorry?"
"No, no, it's my fault. Who am I to question you? How about you just tell me what you did today at work honey."
"I stopped a guy from robbing a bank... That was nice. But Erica-"
"You did?! Are you hurt?!"
"If I was hurt I wouldn't be here."
"How did you arrest him?" She asks, her hand laying on his forearm with a tight grip.
Bellamy shrugs, "Ran over to him, grabbed one hand and put it behind his back and cuffed him before he could shoot anyone."
"Oh Bellamy, you are so talented, let me see those hands." She tugs on them and Bellamy gives her a confused look before he lets her raise them to her cheek. "Oh, these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't."
Bellamy fakes a laugh, trying to pull them back, but her grip is surprisingly tight and she keeps rubbing her face over them. "No, seriously. These hands. These miracle, magical, life-saving hands. Oh, just to be near them, touch them, maybe even lick one?" she asks.
"Uh, no, no, I don't think my hands would like that," he says, but she already has her tongue on them, licking empathetically.
"This is so weird." He mutters under his breath.
Somehow Bellamy managed to get out of the restaurant and was now considering moving so she wouldn't have his address anymore. Well, he never managed to get himself out but apparently they were grossing out the other customers that were eating being that she kept licking his hand, trying to kiss him and kept saying please over and over again. It wasn't a surprise that they made people uncomfortable, or that the management had asked them to leave.
"I can't believe she licked your hands." Clarke says, the group is all laughing at him and his apparent weakness when it comes to woman and crying.
He sighs, burying his head in her curly mane and thought of staying in there forever so Erica wouldn't find him. The thought sounded blissful but he wasn't sure if loosing Erica was the bliss, or if it was the thought of staying beside Clarke for all of his life. Not that he'd admit it. Clarke pats his chest reassuringly, looking at the hand that's around her shoulder suspiciously. "You used hand sanitizer and washed your hands right?"
"No, I took two regular showers and another shower in only hand sanitizer," he murmured against her shoulder.
"Want me to beat her up, big bro?" Octavia asks, rubbing circles on his back to ease the unsteadiness of his heart. He feels like he's been violated.
Jasper was still sulking in the corner, he wanted to have his own stalker and Monty was patting his back while Raven stared at all of them in amusement. "It's fine. I just feel like she's watching me wherever I go."
"You can stay at our place." Clarke says, and Octavia nods in encouragement.
"I don't want her knowing where you guys live. That's worse. Plus, isn't Wells coming over?"
Clarke gives him a 'are you serious' face and rolls her eyes, "I don't care. Wells is staying at a motel and I'll just tell him not to come."
"You're my brother, Bellamy. The only person that gets to kill you is me. You'll be safer at our house." Octavia states and Bellamy wraps his arms around both of them and kisses their heads.
He usually crashes at his place, very rarely does he get to spend time with Octavia and Clarke alone. If he does spend time with them it's with the gang and the only moment he can really cherish them is when he's seated on the couch with his arms around both of them. So they're all taking advantage of it. He plays a few board games with them, Clarke wins chess, he wins Monopoly and Octavia wins Twister.
They sit on the couch, bundled up together, a blanket over all of them as they watch a few TV shows they use to in the past and some of their favorites now. Octavia's watching her favorite TV show, The Days of Our Lives, while Bellamy and Clarke practically die from boredom. "You're the only one who can save her, Drake," the nurse on the TV says.
The doctor Drake growls, slamming his fist down onto the table. "Damnit, I'm a doctor, I'm not God."
"Well, there goes my whole belief system." Clarke says sarcastically, earning a snort from Bellamy. She grabs the remote, flipping the channel to Tattoo Nightmares and Octavia gasps, grabbing it back and looking at her like she just punched her in the face.
"Clarke Griffin, you know how I feel when people change Drake from the TV when I'm watching it. I wanna see what happens."
Clarke groans, "I can already tell you what happens. Leslie gets out of the coma and then they make out."
"Well how can that be, he was just kissing Sabrina? And you don't know that!"
Bellamy rolls his eyes, "They made it obvious since the beginning. Didn't you see Sabrina's finger twitch out when Drake was talking to her?"
"What!?" She starts to rewind it and Bellamy and Clarke both start throwing pillows at her.
Eventually Clarke manages to get the remote, switching it to watch Tattoo Nightmares and he gets to watch as they wrestle to battle over who gets the remote. When they start pinching each other, he decides it's gone too far and grabs the remote himself, switching the channel to FRIENDS.
The girls both seem to settle for that, laying beside him comfortably, occasionally cracking jokes about how he's just as nerdy as Ross and giving each other high-fives after particularly good ones. He should stop them, or at least get a bit angry, but these are the two girls he loves and seeing them smile makes him smile too.
Somewhere along the night Octavia passes out, drooling off the side of her cheek and letting it drip down onto the couch cushion that she's laying on. Clarke rolls her eyes, although from how droopy her eyes are getting, she's probably gonna pass out soon too. "Thanks for letting me stay here," he says.
"Of course, Bell. We'd do anything for you," she mumbles sleepily.
"Sorry we haven't hung out that much lately..." He whispers, hoping that maybe she wouldn't hear, but it causes her to frown into the fabric of his shirt. Ever since Wells got here, they hadn't been talking as much as they used to. They still talked a lot, just not every second of the day like they'd grown used to.
"Why are you sorry? It's my fault." She mumbles, and she's no longer tired but awake now.
"No, it's not. Don't beat yourself up like that."
"It's true. Look, Bellamy," She tips her head up to meet his eyes, giving him a sheepish smile, but before she can even say anything, the door is flung open, causing them to back away from each other and Octavia to lift her head sleepily, muttering 'what' over and over again.
There standing in the doorway is Erica, hair in disarray like she was climbing trees and eyes crazed. "Her." She growls.
Clarke raises an eyebrow, and Erica is clearly about to pounce on her, but Bellamy stops her by grabbing onto her shoulders. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"I know about you two! I saw you today getting all cuddly on the couch! I saw you kiss her cheek! I saw it all!" she exclaims, pointing a long manicured finger at him.
From the racket they're making the rest of the gang pops in, Jasper and Monty come in with a bag of popcorn and watch curiously as Erica fumes at him. "Good thing we brought popcorn, huh?" Monty whispers.
"Oh, I see your having a little party, huh." Erica growls.
Bellamy sighs, rubbing his forehead and trying to think of a way he can tell her she's crazy without making her cry. "First off, it's not what you think, we're just-"
"You told me I was the only one!" she exclaims, grabbing a glass of water off Clarke and Octavia's table and throwing it in his face.
The gang gasps, followed by amused grins as they wait to see it all unravel. Bellamy wipes the water from his face, running his hand through his now damp curls and glares at her. "I never said that, Erica. Alright look, that's it. I was trying to be nice but I see I clearly can't do that anymore. We aren't married. We've never been married. Nor will we ever be. I knew I should have told you this from the beginning, I just couldn't because I felt bad for you."
"Are you even a police officer?" she scoffs, exasperated.
He rolls his eyes, looking at the group, but mostly at Clarke. "Somebody wanna help me out here?"
Clarke grins, "Its true, Erica. He isn't Bellamy, he's Barney! Bellamy's evil twin."
Erica gasps, looking over at Bellamy with all seriousness. "Is this true?"
"Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, er, oh! Because he pretended to be Bellamy to, to sleep with me." She says, throwing a glass of water in his face.
"I thought you were my good brother!" Octavia says, throwing water in his face.
"And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't." Monty says, grabbing a cup and throwing it in his face.
Jasper, now with a solo cup full of water, goes up to him. "And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard!" he exclaims, throwing water in his face.
"Is all this true?" Erica asks.
Bellamy looks to Clarke who nods eagerly with a grin and he sighs, "Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me, Erica. You deserve to be with the real Bellamy, he's the one you fell in love with. Go find him, he's the guy for you."
"Oh Barney." Erica says, grabbing his face and pulling him down to meet her lips. He scrunches up his face, resting his hands on her shoulders to try and gently push her away but she only kisses him more fiercely.
"Alright, that's enough." Clarke grabs Erica by her ponytail, yanking her back which causes Erica to yelp in pain and Clarke offers her a fake smile. "I did sleep with this guy so, uh, maybe not in front of me?"
She smiles sheepishly back, "Right, sorry." She looks back at Bellamy and smiles, "I'll never forget you, Barney."
Bellamy nods, backing her out the door. "Uh...ditto." He slams the door in her face, resting his forehead against it and listening to the laughter of the group. He can feel the droplets of water fall from his face, the dampness of his hair and the way his curls stick to his face because of it. He growls, turning to face them with a sneer. "Alright, the people who threw the water...!"
They all yelp, Monty and Jasper already running to get away as Octavia raises her hands and backs up, but he looks out of the corner of his eye and sees Clarke. She's laughing at him, holding her stomach and pointing at his wet unraveled state, and all he can do is smile. It really is ludicrous how in love with her he is.
A/N: See how you could actually understand my work more clearly? Thank God right? Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed. I'm loving the requests you guys are all giving me. I'm so excited to write them and I'm having fun going back and re-watching some FRIENDS episodes. Also, a lot of you guys have been asking where the Teen Wolf fic is and I'm really sorry to tell you it's nowhere close to done. I'm so upset with myself that I didn't finish it but hopefully I'll get it done before school starts. As for my skins AU, it's getting done really fast and I'm so excited to show you guys. I'm still shaky as to how I'm gonna lay out the chapters but I'll figure it out. I hope you have a good day, reviews are appreciated! - Phantom4747