It's a silly weekend, so a shorter chapter to tie you over so I can make sure the binding spell's right. (all the magical sex).
Huge thanks again to Race, because she found such lovely connections between these two.
When Lily finally shifted back into her human form, it was late morning, the sun high enough in the sky to warm her human skin. Everything felt smaller and quieter again, even her. She felt like she fit in in her own skin once more. With a sigh Lily rolled her shoulders, any possible guilt she might have felt at her behavior yesterday banished by the smile Mal wore when she turned to find her mom waiting for her. Mal didn't ask her if she felt better or how she was doing, just stepped forward and hugged her briefly and Lily let herself sink into that embrace. After so long without true physical affection she was starved for it, soaking it up like a sponge even as it scared her to reach out. Mal seemed to understand because she didn't hold long, just pressed a kiss to the top of her head and stepped back.
"There's been a disturbance in the town, we should get back."
"What?"
Mal shook her head. "We're too far away to tell for certain, even for me. If you're ready, I'll take us back."
Wondering if there would ever be a moment in this town where things weren't almost out of control, Lily nodded and a breath later, her mom's magic surrounded her and the forest vanished.
It turned out 'the disturbance' was 'two people were brutally murdered'. Lily could sense the tension on the air as soon as they materialized in the middle of town. It raised the fine hairs at the back of her neck, the dragon shifting inside her, pushing closer to the surface. Helped by a gentle hand on her shoulder, she held it down, Mal's soft look of pride warming her.
"I should go find Swan, why don't you go see if you can find Regina and make sure she's not overtaxing herself. The spell I cast on her yesterday won't last much longer."
Lily looked at her mom. "Are you trying to keep me out of something?"
But Mal just shook her head forcefully. "No, never, I just," Mal paused for a moment, considering. Something very old and very angry flashed behind bright blue eyes. Something that Lily knew was deadly even though it made her feel safe. "I don't trust these humans. Not all of them anyway. I don't trust the anger on the air and I don't want you to be exposed to those...Charmings if you don't have to." There was so much anger, so much anguish in the way Mal said the name Lily understood her mom was afraid, and trying to protect her. Maybe it was ridiculous because she'd lived on her own for years and even if she couldn't really control the dragon side of her, she had a dirty right hook. But her mom's eyes pleaded and Lily suddenly got why Regina let Emma fuss even when she didn't need it.
"Okay, Mom." It felt right on her tongue, that word, and Mal's smile in return was heartbreaking. A warm palm cupped her cheek and then Mal vanished, leaving Lily alone.
Regina. Her other mother. Lily's heart fluttered a little at that. With Mal it was...not easy but getting there. Mal made sense. In a way she'd known Mal all her life. But Regina, Regina she'd never been able to imagine, Regina who she struggled to understand because she wasn't there in Lily's memories but all she had to do was look in the mirror at her thick, slightly curly hair and her dark, dark eyes, or see the way Regina looked at her, so full of love and sadness to know Regina was her other parent.
Suddenly Lily realized what else Mal was doing and she nearly groaned. Her mother was a meddler. She hadn't had much time to talk to Regina and now Mal was basically shoving them together.
Shaking her head, Lily stared down the street. Her mom had left her on Main Street, just down from the diner. Regina had an office, in City Hall, if Lily could remember where that was. She could stop at the diner and get something, because she didn't feel right turning up empty handed. Especially not when Emma, Henry and her mom were so worried about Regina. Besides it would give her something to do with her hands. decision made, she headed for the diner, searching her pockets for cash. Would Regina want tea or should she bring her food? Maybe not food, considering how worried Henry had been about his - their, and yeah that was still harder to get used to - mom being sick to her stomach. Granny would know where Regina's office was too, so she wouldn't have to wander through town and look like an idiot.
Food. Conversation. No big deal, she could totally do this.
It turned out Mal wasn't the only meddler. As soon as Lily walked in the door the older woman who ran the place waved her up to the counter. Lily realized then she still didn't even know her actual name, though apparently 'Granny' sufficed. something about her made the dragon in Lily hum in approval. Whatever she was, it wasn't human but the gimlet stare and the way she moved said she was not a woman to be trifled with.
"You're going to see Regina?" Granny asked in that 'this isn't really a question' voice, leaving Lily to nod uncertainly.
Glancing around as if to make sure no one was really paying attention (they weren't, the diner was mostly empty) she pulled a bag from behind the counter, opening a cooler behind her and putting a couple bottles of something in it. "Good. Here, she likes this salad and take some of this ginger ale if her stomach is still upset. Tell her no more root beer till she's feeling better."
Nonplussed, Lily could only take the paper bag that was handed brusquely to her, giving a slightly awkward thank you in return. When she tried to pay she was waved away. "You tell Regina to remember to delegate and we'll call it even," and then Granny turned back to another customer who had just walked in, summarily dismissing a still very confused Lily who took the bag and made a hasty retreat back to the safety of the street.
Wolf, she realized as she walked back toward City Hall. The old woman smelled of wolf, just like Ruby. Ruby. Red. A wolf.
This fucking town, Lily groaned inwardly. She was going to have have another look at that damn book of Henry's.
Bag from the diner in hand, Lily shifted her weight in front of the door labelled Mayor. The glass was frosted, but Regina would probably have -
"Come in, Lily," Regina's voice carried through the glass and wood.
-seen her through it.
Trying to tamp down the butterflies the sudden flutter of nerves in her stomach, Lily silently told herself to stop being an idiot and opened the door.
The room was, well it was exactly like she expected it actually. Shades of black and white, marble and a polished mahogany desk. It was open and bright but not entire welcoming, beautiful, but severe. Lily knew places like this, meant to make others feel cowed and inferior, set them on edge and somehow it struck her then, even though this was just a town hall and the sign said 'Mayor' not Queen that the woman in front of her, her mother, was royalty, and that the title hadn't been an empty one.
Not for the first time, Lily wondered if there was something about her dual nature, some part of the dragon, that was keeping her sedated. Because one of her mothers was a dragon and the other was a queen (and dating her ex best friend) and Lily was standing in a gleaming black and white room in worn jeans and a hoodie with salad and ginger ale in a paper bag.
"Lily?"
She blinked, focusing on Regina again. Dark eyes were wide and worried and there was that rawness, that longing on her face. Suddenly the office didn't seem cold anymore.
"Lily are you okay?" She could see then how Regina tensed, as if she wanted to stand. The butterflies settled.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Lily replied instead, placing the bag on the desk and digging out its contents.
Regina made a soft noise that might have been a laugh but her smile dragged at the edges as she shuffled her papers aside.
"I'm fine," she insisted.
Lily could tell a reflex answer when she heard one. Careful not to let the moisture beading on the glass of the bottles make her hands slip, she put one of the bottles in front of Regina. "Granny said you need to eat," she explained. "She also said you weren't allowed any root beer till you felt better." Dark brows pulled down into a scowl and Lily bit back a laugh. Her mom pouted just like Henry. The expression slid from her face quickly though, fading into a wince.
"Here." Lily nudged the ginger ale closer. "It will help." She touched the cap and frowned. "You have a bottle opener, right?"
Regina took a metal bottle opener from her desk drawer, as if taking the tops from bottles was a common occurrence. She must have had a lot of lunches with Emma, probably this salad and root beer. Dutifully, Regina took a few sips and the line between her brows eased - just a little. "Thank you, how much do I owe you?"
"For lunch? Nothing, Granny said as long as I reminded you to delegate it was on the house." Lily shrugged.
Her mom paused, looking at the salad and the bottles of soda, something soft and uncertain flickering across her face.
Regina wasn't used to people caring, Lily suddenly understood. It made her ache in her small human chest - it made the other part of her rage, want to curl around Regina and protect her and for a moment she couldn't breathe, had to struggle to stay still until the anger subsided. Mal had said it would take time to fully gain control, she was really going to have to work on that soon.
Either unaware of her turmoil or - more likely - kind enough to pretend otherwise, Regina just cleared her throat and pulled the salad toward her. "Thank you," she said softly, glancing up at Lily and her eyes were so full of emotion and gratitude for a stupid little salad it made Lily want to curl up into a ball.
"You're welcome," she managed, pulling the other bottle toward her just to have something to do.
Silence fell while Regina ate but it wasn't uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry I freaked out yesterday," Lily offered when Regina grimaced and pushed the salad away without finishing it.
Something very reminiscent of Mal sparkled quickly in Regina's eyes and she straightened, taking another sip of her drink.
"Don't be," Regina said dryly. "Frankly, it was the most fun I had all day." Lily had to laugh at that, a conspiratorial wink passing between both women before Regina softened. "Genetic memories are complicated, Lily, truly. No one who understands can blame you for how difficult it is to see Snow and David and have to remember what they did to you. And you never need to apologise for defending me." That look was back, the one that was just so full Lily had to glance away, craving it and unsure all at once.
"Can I apologise for making a mess of the meeting?" She asked, trying to lighten the mood.
Regina seemed to understand because that spark of dry humor returned. "Not a chance. It wouldn't be a town meeting unless something dramatic happened anyway. Storybrooke is full of characters, literally, and sometimes it's difficult to explain to them why some things are be a certain way. Many of them are exceptionally... stubborn."
THe inflection she gave 'stubborn' made it very clear what word Regina actually wanted to use. Lily grinned.
"Sounds like a hell of a job."
"One that is usually more pleasant I will grant you."
"Dead bodies kind of ruin things, huh?"
"Emma's handling it." Her words were easy and sure and for a second it looked like she was going to say more but instead she just. Stopped.
"What?" Lily frowned at the expression on Regina's face. It was one she'd never seen before and couldn't read. For a moment she just stared into space, as if forgetting Lily was even there.
"I tried to run her out of town," Regina said after a moment. She didn't look at Lily, picked up her ginger ale instead and twisted it around in her hands carefully. "When she ran for Sheriff I was outraged, did everything I could to sabotage her. She drove me absolutely crazy and now…" Regina trailed off, her lips curling upward into a smile that made something inside Lily ache. Emma had been one of the few bright spots in her darkest years, she was happy the lonely girl she'd known finally found the family she'd always wanted.
"And now?"
Regina's slow smile lit up the entire room. "We haven't lost yet."
Lily told her then what Emma had been like when she first met her, wounded but still so full of hope. And stubborn. "She's not really changed much, not on the inside," she shrugged. Talk of Emma ("she really took a chainsaw to your tree?" "Yes she did" and the wicked almost dirty smile on Regina's face made Lily decide she knew enough thanks) slipped into talk of Lily's childhood. Not all of it. Just the better parts, the ones that wouldn't make Regina look like she wanted to cry.
And she found, as she talked, it didn't hurt as much. Telling Regina about her past now was like - was like she was telling someone else's story.
"Its the dragon," Regina commented when Lily mentioned it. "You live in the moment. Time moves differently for you." And that soft, sad smile bloomed on her lips again. "Mal said it was a defense mechanism for long-lived creatures. You might live for hundreds of years, while the other people in your life -"
Lily's eyes widened in horror as she realized what Regina was saying but a brief motion of her hand stopped whatever protest Lily might have said. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything and it's not really the same. Emma and I are very powerful, or magic means that we - and Henry - will live quite a bit longer than normal humans. Here," Regina said softly, turning to pull a slim, leather bound book out of her desk drawer. "Before I forget, I wanted to give you this. It's one of the few remaining copies of the only book about dragons your mother has ever approved of. It's very old, and it should help you learn about your history. I know not everyone likes to read-"
"I don't mind reading," Lily promised. Regina's quick little smile was endearing.
"I thought you might appreciate the illustrations as well, considering you're an artist."
Lily flushed, and shook her head. "I can draw some, that's not really being an artist."
"Don't say that, your drawings of Mal are beautiful," and Lily knew Regina actually thought that. This wasn't some fake platitude, Regina was so earnest, so open, just like Mal. Was this what it was like when there weren't any secrets?
Why was everyone doing that? Except for Emma, Lily had just met all of them, yet they were all ready, so willing to be her family: her nest, as her mom kept calling it.
"Thanks," Lily managed. She was grateful, really, but moments like this still became too much so quickly. For so long, once she realized her birth mother was never coming to find her, she'd tried to avoid being noticed. Being noticed meant she was in trouble, meant she was the freak who needed to go see yet another therapist or social worker. It was easier, safer to fade into the background, be forgotten. And yet here was her mother, looking telling her something she had done was beautiful and somehow managing to make Lily believe it. Maybe only for a moment but she treasured it anyway.
Lily felt a little guilty when Regina made a face as she sat back, pressing her fingers against her temple. This was easier to deal with, the emotional charge in the air softening.
"How's your head, really?"
"It's fine."
The attempt was so unconvincing it would have been funny if it hadn't made Lily want to fix it so badly. Holding on to the book in her lap, she tried to focus her dragon instincts. She should be able to pick up Regina's discomfort. If her magic was out of balance, Lily ought to be able to pick up on that. So much of what she saw, smelt and heard was so vivid now that she had to tune so much of it out to focus on the people around her. The world with magic was technicolour after grainy black and white. Lily had just never known how dull her old senses were. Life was vibrant, glowing, breathing and it was everywhere - energy like sunlight that could be overwhelming if you didn't filter it out like Mal had started to show her. Slowly, clumsily, Lily pushed everything aside - including her own magic - and concentrated on Regina. It wasn't easy, her power was incredible, even contained within her. She hummed with life, with magic, and that was fine, good, but… there. Her magic flickered. Something about it swayed, like a candle struggling against a draft. She knew life was golden warmth, like sunshine, and this was too much fire and not enough oxygen. No wonder it hurt.
It made her bold, brave enough to give voice to what she felt. "Don't, Regina, I might be your kid too, but I'm not Henry. You don't have to protect me okay? Mom was pretty concerned that she had to dragon you last night."
Regina looked like she wanted to protest but instead just smiled sheepishly. "Dragon me?"
"She said that a focused gift of dragon's strength is enough to relieve most diseases and injuries, at least for awhile. We're like big magic batteries or something.."
Regina's lips quirked briefly. "Dragons have tremendous reserves of magic. It makes spellcasting come easily," Regina paused. One of her hands drifted down behind her desk and Lily watched her rest it on her belly, protecting her baby. "Magic always costs. It varies. Perhaps, it's an emotion, a memory, or some other sacrifice, but there is always a price." Her voice was distant, and sad and Lily could hear the weight of too many memories unsaid.
"So dragons have better magic credit limits?" She asked, deliberately trying to lighten the moment.
It worked because Regina started and actually chuckled. "You could say that. Your mother says that it allows her to redirect passion. Being a dragon gives you more possibilities. Many spells that would need material components, or the right time of day of a certain position of the moon can be cast by dragons without those things. Your mother may make it seem like it's effortless, but I promise, it took her time to learn, you'll understand it too, with time."
"So I'll be able to help people's headaches too?"
Regina smiled, but her eyes crinkled at the edges in the way Lily was learning meant pain and her perfect posture was slipping away. Lily couldn't help it, the urge to protect, to give was too strong and she reached across the table, her throat tight when Regina's hand took hers instantly.
"You already help," Regina promised and it was such a mom thing to say, to even worry about, that Lily choked on her breath. Laughter felt like tears until it left her throat.
"Thanks," she said, still chuckling. "Sorry." Lily scrambled for an explanation. "You're such a mom. I know, I know you're my mom, and it's weird, because you're like five years older than I am, but you're so supportive, so quick to worry about me. Mal's the same way. Her heart's not even on her sleeve it's out here," she held her hand in front of her own chest for emphasis, "glowing in the middle of the air and you love me."
"Of course we do."
"It's just," Lily paused, taking a breath. "That's not what I expect."
Pushing her chair back, Regina circled the desk, guided Lily up from her chair and hugged her. She held her so tight, so gratefully, that Lily's breath caught in her throat again. "Love is strange," Regina said, still holding her. "I can't say that I understand it, or even get it right most of the time. The thing about our little family, our nest, is that we keep trying. We all fell headlong into the whole experience of finding that love as a family."
"Maybe we've already found it," Lily said, before she realised what the words even meant. She'd had a family that loved her before. Her parents had been the kindest people, but she'd known that something was missing, something had been wrong and she'd never been able to let that go. She would always feel guilty over that, knowing she'd hurt people who had been trying their best. But it hadn't been their fault or hers. She had simply belonged to another world.
This world.
Being held by Regina now, part of her wanted to pull away, even now so unused to dealing with affection she actually wanted. She wasn't giving this up though so she focused on her breathing, on the feel of her mom's arms around her, and dealt with her stinging eyes by closing them tightly. Fortunately, Regina seemed to understand because she let go quickly, stepping back and running her hands down Lily's arms with that too-full smile. It was okay though. Little by little Lily felt like she was being stitched back together, all the missing parts of herself that she'd been searching for her whole life slowly put back. Maybe imperfectly, and certainly carefully, but looking at Regina, Lily could imagine a day - not too far in the future - when it wasn't too much anymore.
Mal was deeply suspicious of anything resembling a contract, even after Emma explained that it was just a statement attesting to their whereabouts during the attack and it was meant to protect her and Lily. Still, it was clear the other woman was not pleased with signing the paper and it took Emma softly promising she would never let harm come to Mal over it before she was willing to put her elegant scrawl on the appropriate line and Emma filed it (properly, stop smirking Regina).
Unfortunately, Mal and Lily had been together on the far side of the forest from town all of last night. Which meant they were their own alibis, and it would be difficult to prove that both dragons had nothing to do with Whale and George's deaths. She couldn't avoid evidence and there was a very real possibility Emma would have to say she was officially investigating them. In what Emma hoped was a pre-emptive move, she took Mal's statement, cleaned up the sarcasm - well, most of it- and filed it for Mulan to take over, thinking as she finished up that she'd trade a bear claw to watch Mulan deal with Mal. If anyone could handle Mal's complete disregard for authority and snark, Emma had a feeling it was Mulan.
Although for all their sakes, Emma made a mental note never to let Mal watch Mulan's Disney version. She had a feeling Mushu wouldn't go over too well...
With the report stored on the (thankfully finally updated) Storybrooke PD servers, Emma sent Mulan a text about keeping her in the loop on the investigation and then logged out. Mal left as soon as she'd finished giving her statement to go prepare the spell. She and Regina would be waiting for her at home.
More magic. Five years ago she hadn't even believed it was real. Now it was a part of her. Emma thought of Regina, and Henry, and home, and vanished in a swirl of white smoke.