I drop to the ground, exhausted. I had done what, even in Wonderland, is something many consider impossible. I had gone to the brink of death and back. I had saved Alice. If Vira hadn't been alive, Alice would have nothing to come back for. She would have stepped into the shade of death and nothing would save her.
It took everything in me to stop her, but somehow I survived. Now I sit at the edge of Queensland. I choose to stay invisible to the woman I kept alive and the girl who unknowingly helped me to do so. I concentrate on regaining my strength, watching them but not really seeing them. As I attempt to stand I hear something I haven't heard in years.
Laughter.
Not insane or maniacal. Pure, true laughter. I can't understand it at first, but I try to make sense of it anyway. Nothing should seem strange to me…but this is.
As I watch Vira's sparkling grey eyes I remember how cold I had been. How distant I wanted to be from her. I was afraid she would make me forget Alice, and I never wanted to do that.
Never.
But I didn't forget Alice. Vira's arrival brought her back. I realized what a mistake I had made in treating her so bitterly, and I hoped it wasn't too late to regain her trust. She has forgiven me. Now they face the serpentine hedge maze, standing together. Together, the way a mother and daughter should. They are swallowed by the entrance and I am left alone on the edge of the world. After what feels like an eternity I have recovered enough strength to stand. Just as I start toward the maze I feel something in the ground that freezes me in my tracks. It's the unmistakable tremor of the marching card guards, searching for Alice and Vira.
They appear from around the side of the maze and, finding the main entrance twisted shut, go back the way they came. Immediately I'm jolted into a state of panic. There are many ways into the maze…but only one way out. Disregarding the weakness I had previously felt, I run for the maze. Bounding along the side, I search for another way in. I find none.
In a burst of desperation, I leap straight onto the wall with extended claws and begin the climb. The wicked branches are sharp and hooked, tearing at me as I struggle higher. Leaves like razor blades slice at my face but I hardly feel the pain. Alice and Vira are all that matter now. By the time I reach the top I've worked myself into a frenzy, my blood coursing hot and fast through my veins. A rumble from deep within the ground forces me to jump down. I land hard, but manage to stay on my feet.
Pain accompanies every step as I charge through the maze. In a way it is comforting. I know that as long as I feel pain I'm alive. The pain won't last for much longer. I knew my time would come, I just didn't know when. Now I'm sure of it. The night I became sure of it was the night Alice lost everything. This is the last time I can help her and Vira. They must get out of this maze alive.
I will not.
I am waiting 'til there's nothing left
I'm a prayer, all you see is breath
I am empty, I am skin and bones, I'm a rib cage
I am out the door with apathy
But I'm coming home with sympathy
I am realized, I am shamed, I choose to stay here
You got a sign, so I paid a ransom
You felt sorry, so I felt a wrath come
Had a nice grip on my life 'til you twisted my arm
There's a song I love so much I stole
Every precious note I took I sold
Now I spit out words
Do you see my lungs on the dance floor?
To a hopeless cause I sold my soul
A romantic plastic piece of shit you can mold
Until I break into chokable pieces
I open up like the back of a book
I ruin everything with just a quick look
And I settle down like a rocket explodes
Hit the ground, but how far out who knows
-Alkaline Trio
I Was a Prayer