It's been forever. I know. I apologize for the delay but this chapter is extremely important and it meant a lot to me to get it right. Needless to say it took a few drafts to be ready for posting. This chapter fills in the plot hole, explaining why Layia waited a year to return.
Huge THANK YOU to Hoppnhorn for reading over this with me, giving me pointers and continually inspiring me. And to all my faithfuls: Sparkly Blue Eyes, Darley's Little Devil, Zohra89, XxxDarkCloudxxX, MrsMercer, and xxCherieweexx. You all are simply AMAZING. I would not be writing without you and I appreciate you all so much. And of course I appreciate all those who silently read and favorite my story, it truly means a great deal to me.
The apartment was empty with the exception of girl, her dark brown hair pulled into a ponytail. She wore a simple pair of jeans and black t-shirt. Layia. Joe was selling with Tommy off of Pappas Way while Heco was spending all day in the office with Dog, cooking large batches of their products. The leader, Billy, was driving around making sure everyone was in their assigned areas doing their jobs. They were going after Hayes the following night. No errors could be afforded.
The cool floor allowed her feet to relax, the muscles to loosen, as she strolled into the kitchen. Layia leaned against the counter, clucking her tongue behind her teeth as she waited for Natalia to answer. This wasn't any mere phone call. It was the one she'd been waiting to make since Layia made the solemn vow to kill Hayes. Restore a sense of normalcy to the other girls involved. Now with the seemingly distant rings of the cell Layia wasn't sure which emotion to settle on. It was far too early for relief, happiness too, but she felt something lighter gradually entering her system.
"Hey." Natalie's groggy voice finally filled Layia's ears. It was clear Layia had roused Nat from sleep. Poor girl. But it would be worth it, Natalie would want to hear this.
"Tomorrow Nat. It's tomorrow night." Layia explained in her usually calm demeanor. Natalie instantly understood the meaning and woke right up. It's as though every fiber of her being just consumed a double shot of espresso. "You found him?" Layia decided to not be offended by the slight disbelief Nat's tone held. This was a moment too huge to be ruined by that.
"Tomorrow Dante Hayes breathes his last breath." The words felt like the sweetest honey rolling over her tongue. There was a power uttering that sentence while knowing it was a solid truth, no longer a dream. Silence. Only the sound of exhales passed through the receiver. Natalie was processing the information, letting it fully sink in. "Take the first flight out, or the bus." Layia continued but her voice held more softness. "You can come home." Hearing that made Natalie began to cry, sobs of overwhelming emotions that Layia could feel even through the plastic device. Natalie's parents would be thrilled to see their daughter again. Layia couldn't even imagine.
Not all of the girls had their families killed, murdered in cold blood. A few days after the escape Natalia found her previously hushed voice and told Layia that her mother and father were eating dinner with friends that night. There was a babysitter but halfway through the evening the horny teenager left to be with her boyfriend. Nat was all alone when Hayes's men came. The level of terror must have been immense, worse than Layia and her sister's since they had each other. It was no surprise that Natalie barely spoke ten words the duration of her imprisonment. But, at least her parents were alive. What would that be like? Having Layia's mom and dad at home, waiting for her, like nothing ever happened? Being the protected instead of the protector? No point in thinking about it now. That ship had long since sailed.
However, Natalie had a family to welcome her back home, two loving people that never gave up on their missing daughter. The tattered but still visible posters with Natalia's twelve year old photograph Layia had seen around Boston were proof of that. Layia would have given them a reunion years ago. But hiding from a pissed off gang lord was like trying to hide from a shark with a bleeding leg. It wouldn't have ended pretty.
"And you?" Natalie quietly asked. The words slowly left her mouth as she was still absorbing everything. It felt unreal, a long awaited moment that had finally arrived. She was already picturing what it would feel like to be in their arms again, give a whole new meaning to the term homecoming.
"I'll meet you. I'll even take ya to your parents." Layia was going to see this through all the way. Make sure that Nat had a happy ending to this horrific chapter of her life. That was Layia's self appointed responsibility.
"Are you sure?" Layia knew what Natalie was getting at. It wasn't a secret that until Billy got involved Layia would have met her death at Hayes's hands, only Kalila would survive. Any other outcome would have been an impossible feat, a miracle. "I got manpower now remember? Nothing ta worry 'bout." That answer seemed to please Natalie who was still impressed by the resonating boom of Billy's voice. It had given her chills and that was through a meager phone. Between him and Layia the daunting obstacles coming up could be conquered, without a doubt. "I'll call you when it's done. Come get you." The conversation ended with that, Layia could still hear Natalie crying but it was quieter now.
"What are ya doing?" Layia had been so focused on the project in front of her that she hadn't heard the front door open. It was surprising that he was even back at this hour. All the men must be keeping on task well enough. With a huff her fidgeting fingers ceased their movements. Why wouldn't the damn thing work for her? Layia's tired eyes darted towards Billy who had already taken off his leather jacket, leaving him in a simple black wifebeater. Those looked so good on him it should be illegal. Hugging his solid muscles and revealing an enticing amount of the spiraling ink on his chest and back. An irresistible sin wrapped in dark cotton. Layia fought the urge to lick her lips at the magnificent sight.
"Trying ta fix this." She eventually mumbled, tearing her hues away from Billy's physique. In her left hand was Kalila's bracelet that she'd found in the warehouse. Part of it was broken, seemingly un-mend able. But Layia had gone to a local mom 'n pop shop in the morning, picked up some jewelry fragments and was now attempting to bring the sparkling silver piece back to life.
Billy narrowed his blue eyes at the object in question. Who did that belong to? It wasn't Layia's was it? His legs carried him closer in big strides, boots clunking on the floor. It wasn't long until Billy stood right in front of the simple dining room chair Layia was sitting on. He looked over the bracelet and precise actions of her fingers before realization struck him. "That's ya sisters." He stated. Anyone who thought Billy wasn't smart obviously hadn't spent more than ten minutes with him. It took brains to do what he did and get away with it for as long as he had. That bald head of his was filled with more than most gave him credit for.
"Let me see." Layia stopped her fumbling with the frustrating metal and handed it to Billy who was now lounging in the seat right next to her. So what if it was a stereotype that men were good at fixing? That didn't make Billy's talent in it any less true. "Ya could've just gotten her a new one ya know." He muttered while bringing the two pieces together that had been giving her a hard time. It looked so easy when Billy did it.
"Wouldn't be the same." Their mother had given Kalila the bracelet just like she bestowed Layia with the necklace. Layia knew that. True, she couldn't remember actually receiving it but in her heart she believed it to be a reality. Otherwise her thoughts about the presents in Hayes's dungeon didn't make sense. "It was a gift from our mother." Layia clarified and understanding flickered in Billy's cobalt orbs.
To Layia's minor astonishment Billy put Kalila's bracelet on the table and grasped his cross necklace in his long fingers. "It was my mother's." Layia's eyes lit up while a soft smile graced her lips. Billy had only mentioned his mother once, briefly. The subject of Layia's mom had come up again and Billy casually referred to his, stating a few simple facts. It was Billy's way of trying to make Layia feel better. However, she had no idea that the cross he never took off was from his mother. Layia found herself wishing that she knew more about the woman who brought Billy and Joe into this world. What did she look like? Did she have any hobbies, unique interests? Was she a fighter or a lover? What kind of a person was she? Well, she must've been an incredible woman. One glance at her sons made that an indisputable truth. Joe would tell her in a heartbeat but she died when he was just a baby. Sadly, he couldn't relay much detail except her name. Melinda.
Layia reached out, her fingers gently touching his. Then Billy's sapphire hues connected to her hazel pools and he relaxed. Her ability to calm him down continued to amaze Billy. It's as though without trying she numbed the tension and anger throughout his body. Was she taming him? No. The very word made Billy cringe internally. It was something else. But what? He couldn't put his finger on the exact expression but Layia was working with him. It's as though they flowed together and that's what made the difference.
Their fingers laced together against Billy's chest while Layia's other hand clasped his necklace, the pads of her fingers tracing the cool metal. Her eyes took in every tiny detail while she continued to caress the significant keepsake. Billy just breathed steadily, watching her. Layia was truly like him in so many ways. Just as brutal, as clever and as strong. There was no denying that was part of the burning attraction, even though it was also part of the struggle. A hurricane and a tornado, forces that were bound to collide. But moments such as these Billy secretly valued. He got to see a different side of the still mysterious girl. He was a witness to her humanity, to her inner beauty. Would anyone, especially his men ever bear witness to Billy saying that aloud? Hell no. But he was content with them being honest phrases, swirling in his head.
Billy wasn't sure how long she'd been silently admiring his mother's memento before Layia rose from the chair and positioned herself on his lap. Without thinking about it Billy's arms encircled her, like it was the natural thing to do. His azure pools continued observing Layia holding onto the cross necklace. Despite all her movements she hadn't let it go, not even for a second. Layia leaned forward, bent her head and pressed her lips to Billy's cheek. He stiffened, not used to being kissed on the cheek. Had he ever been kissed there? Billy highly doubted it. Most girls went right for something else, his greedy tongue or his throbbing cock. This was different. Her lip's trailed over his jaw in butterfly kisses until she reached his mouth. Then Layia's soft petals instantly warmed Billy's in the softest kiss he had ever received.
This girl, this woman perched on his upper thighs continued to put Billy through conflicting emotions. She made him feel things Billy thought of as weaknesses, brought out more humanity in him than Billy was comfortable with. It was unnerving and yet Billy didn't hate it. Should he? It was possible. But he just couldn't bring himself to. If he loathed it Billy would have pushed her away, chided her for being sweet even if it was short lived. But instead Billy pulled Layia tighter against him, letting them both silently relish in something neither of them ever expected to experience.
"Why?" That was the first thing she heard from Billy's mouth, the question that broke the silence. What was he talking about? Had they been having a conversation she wasn't aware of? Before she had a chance to demand an explanation Billy expanded on his original inquiry. "Why wait so long to go after that fucker?" Layia knew in her gut that Billy would ask her eventually but that year wasn't a place she wanted to revisit. In its own way that time of her life had been just as brutal as those years with Hayes.
"This is one thing I don't know if you're gonna understand." Layia replied. Everything else had been a similar, shared experience. Without going into details about what was going on in her head Billy identified with Layia because he'd been there. But that year had nearly destroyed her. It stripped her down, removed all the fight until she was a crumpled, feeble version of her former self. She couldn't picture Billy ever being brought down that low. He was too resilient, too mighty. "Try me."
Life's moments fly by too fast
One minute you're here with me, safe
Everything's alright
Smiles, laughter and joy abound
But in the blink of an eye it's all over
Then you're gone before I can even think
Layia felt like the very life had been sucked out of her. She couldn't breathe, as though she couldn't remember how. Each attempted inhale was cut short while each exhale seemed to catch in her chest, making Layia struggle to stay upright. Her mind was screaming at her but she couldn't understand the words, it just sounded like gibberish. The only thing that truly registered with her was the agony currently consuming her heart. Thousands of sharp needles piercing the tender flesh, continually renewing her pain. Tears sprang to Layia's eyes, cascading down the burning flesh of her cheeks. Kalila was gone. Her sister was gone. It wasn't a bad dream. It wasn't one of Layia's nightmares. It was a devastating reality. Overwhelming anguish gripped her entire being, removing all feeling from her body. Unable to take anymore Layia fell to the floor, landing with a sorrowful thud on her knees.
Jackie had already rushed Natalie off to the hospital leaving Layia to her misery. The room that was now trashed beyond repair had just seen Layia and Kalila on the couch watching a movie last night. Smiling and content. Two sisters making the best out of what they had. Now it stared at her in a mocking tone, laughing at Layia's inability to protect her sister. Kalila was the only person Layia loved, her sole reason for continually fighting through the battle of life. But she hadn't been good enough or strong enough to save her. Layia grit her teeth, trying to will untamable rage into her heart and mind so she could take off after them. Brutally destroy the men beyond any form of recognition. But guilt racked her body, immobilizing her.
Eventually she was able to pull herself off the floor and clear out before the cops arrived. What would she have told the police if they found her? The truth so they could write it down? Let the case go through the system for years before anything was done? Relying on law enforcement would be stupid and futile. One of the many reasons Layia had never gone that route. She knew what the results would be. Better to live on her own terms and take revenge for the wrong doings inflicted upon her family. At least that's what she vehemently believed until tonight, until it all came crashing down. As she drove along the streets that dreary evening everything was covered in a bleak haze, obstructing anything of remote importance. And Layia was completely numb.
"I couldn't." Came Layia's simple yet haunting reply. She wasn't a fan of admitting she hadn't been able to do something. Especially something so important to her. Neither was Billy. "When she was taken I could barely move." Her eye's left Billy, finding their relief in a spot on the kitchen wall. A welcome distraction from the way Billy's icy hues pierced into her. Persuasive and intense.
Your spirit is torn away, sent to suffer
Gone is the sparkle in your eyes
The Laughter in your heart
The song in your voice
The bounce in your step
Too soon you're taken from me and it's all over
Scratchy and rancid. Two words that perfectly described the horrible excuse for a bed Layia was lying on. The rough material irritated her skin, making her finger nails constantly try to stop the itch. But it was no use. Besides, Layia deserved this. She deserved to be miserable which is why she'd picked the worst inn possible in this city. If you could even call it a hotel at this point. The sign was nearly in ruins, none of the neon letters lit up anymore. The front desk manager was a crotchety old man who began yelling at the slightest abnormality, yet he would let anyone rent a room. Urine and vomit made up the smells in the worn, moldy hallway.
Most people would glance at this place and hightail away before even giving it a chance. That was a smart move, something Layia would have done. Normally this would just be a speed bump in Layia's rearview mirror as her and Kalila drove to their next temporary safe haven. But now… now Layia didn't know what this place was. Perhaps it would serve as her coffin and bury her alive. Maybe it was a demon, going to torture Layia into a slow death. Slow was acceptable but death wasn't. She didn't deserve that escape. No, the already broken woman needed to suffer through her darkness. After all, that was only fitting.
What else could she possibly be allowed to have after letting those bastards take her sister back to their den of pain and despair? Kalila. Even hearing that name in Layia's mind made fresh tears gather in her still glossy hues. The diamond droplets stung, burning the tender red rimmed flesh of her eyes while their reason propelled new agony into Layia's shattering heart.
Tick, tock, buzz, buzz, drip, drip... all the aggravating sounds surrounding Layia were making her head pound. That stupid clock, the annoying fly, and the leaky sink... wouldn't leave her alone. And why should they? It's as though they knew what Layia had let happen and were plaguing her as a result. Even such insignificant objects recognized that Layia needed to be wrapped up in distress and anguish. Bring it on, make it worse.
How long had it been? A week, two weeks, or was it longer since she checked herself into this room? Layia's chosen physical and mental prison. She'd barley left the bed. The dingy mattress had become her world. Lost in her destructive thoughts Layia only drank when she absolutely had to. The water from the dripping faucet was disgusting but Layia was so consumed that she scarcely took notice. To her it tasted like the punishment she'd warranted. Cigarettes had steadily replaced food, the vapors seeming to fill her lungs more than the stale air.
She was fairly sure that a maid had knocked once but a rage filled, "Fuck off!" had quickly reprimanded the problem. What can the cleaning service do for you? Yeah right. Filth was more suitable. Now it was just Layia and the haunting silence. But the quiet wouldn't be her savior, it seemed nothing would be. And the whimpering girl was alright with that.
"I holed myself up in fuckin' motel hell for over a month." Hell. Layia had been in two throughout her life. The one Hayes put her in the one she put herself in. The second was a direct result of the first. "It was a just penalty." Billy was trying to imagine Layia letting herself be in a place so horrendous, thinking she deserved that. What exactly had been going on in her head? What specific thoughts plagued her? Guilt? Anger? Sadness? Whatever they were there was no trace of that self loathing girl now. It was hard to picture her being the opposite of what Billy saw before him.
I wasn't there to save you
I couldn't put my arms around you
Hold you close and protect you like I should
I couldn't wipe away the tears and make you laugh
I couldn't tell you it would be alright
All I could do was watch as you got handed a horrible fate
A fate far worse than mine could ever be
A flick of Layia's finger made her request known to the man behind the counter. "Another." She grumbled, just in case he needed verbal clarification. The bartender's gaze was skeptical but what did Layia care? She was paying customer, for now. The lump in her pocket was getting smaller. Damn. She'd have to hustle pool again to build it back up. Truthfully, that once simple task was nearly impossible now. Beating drunk men at the game was liking swimming in shark infested waters. She couldn't even remember what balls went in what pocket. Wait… that was pool not botchy ball right? Oh well.
It had been months, nearly six and Layia's sanity was on a steady decline. Dumpy motel after dumpy motel, each place worse than the last until Layia's lodge funds ran out. All her time was spent in the seedy parts, or at least the blue collar district of her current location. She wouldn't go near the good area in a stolen BMW. People there just made her feel worse and at the moment she'd felt bad enough for an entire country. Every time she thought about her sister and the night Kalila was taken Layia fell deeper into the madness. That would explain why Layia was completely wasted, head spinning and stomach churning. But she ordered more alcohol because it still wasn't enough to make her forget.
"Don't ya think ya had enough doll?" With a loud growl Layia spun around to find the source. Ruffled dark blonde hair followed by a slightly chubby face and broad shoulders entered Layia's vision. The man had a medium build muscle mixed with fat and was wearing the same casual clothes as the rest of the patrons. Jeans and a t-shirt. His cocky smirk made Layia want to hurl. Did he seriously think he was getting lucky? Hammered or not Layia's legs did not magically open. In fact they remained closed with an iron hold. "I'll say when I've had enough. Get the hell away from me." Her response was slightly garbled but Layia still held some of her intimidation. Too bad it wasn't a sufficient amount.
"You've had more than you need. I'm cutting you off." The bartender firmly declared. Layia's eyes darted towards him but that was a mistake. The movement was too fast, making her intensely dizzy. With one hand on the bar the other drifted to her throbbing head. Damn the negative effects of alcohol. What happened to it being nothing but giggles and numbing sensations to dull the pain of living? Finger's rubbed her scalp, but it was a futile attempt to soothe the discomfort that consumed Layia.
When solid sentences started forming in her mind Layia yelled at the man refusing to serve her. "I'm fuckin' paying ya ain't I? So give me my fuckin' whiskey." Her hand waved sloppily in the air as she ranted, trying to change his mind. But her demeanor was just making him more determined. "No. You're done. Get out." Simple, direct sentences but they made Layia lash out in anger. "You don' talk ta me that way. I'll kick your fuckin' ass." The voice spewing out threats was wavering, it sounded foreign to Layia but she kept going. Maybe if she did she could find herself somewhere in the mess of booze and fist fights.
Two beefy arms wrapped around her, hefting Layia from the stool and carrying her to the door. She fought and kicked, legs delivering weak blows, spit flying as she continued shouting. They couldn't do this. They couldn't cut off her happy supply. What would she do if she had to face her mind again? Could she even handle it? "Lemme go ya big dumb oaf." She slurred with poorly aimed swats to the limbs that held her in place.
Blinding light burned her eyes as the door gave way to the outside world. Layia yelled, desperate to get back in the comforting dark and the mind altering substance that littered the bar. The big bully wasn't the least bit remorseful about dropping Layia on the unwelcoming cement. With a weak snarl Layia raised a fist but her target was already back in the pub. Damn him. Now what was she supposed to do?
As she silently mulled over her options, find another bar or sleep, a decently dressed man in his forties passed Layia and didn't hesitate to give a continuous disapproving look while walking. "Oh screw you." Layia screamed with all the anger she could muster. "Self righteous prick." The words exited her mouth in a shout as the man picked up his pace. Oh, so he was afraid of her? Good, he should be. Acting like he was better than her just because his ass wasn't making friends with the cold ground. Well fuck him and fuck everyone else. None of them ever did her any good anyway.
That night Layia was curled in the backseat of her charger. At least no one could take this away from her. She owned it, every single inch of the raw steel. A chill coursed through Layia's body, making her pull the simple jacket against her shivering form. That's all she had as a blanket, a worn tan coat that used to be Kalila's. It's the only physical item she had left of her sister's. Layia wouldn't part with the precious fabric for any amount of money, no matter how much her mind went. In Layia's eyes it was truly priceless.
"Even the pubs couldn't handle me. They loved giving me the boot." At the time Layia might have warranted that. She couldn't remember much of her behavior then aside from a few all out bar brawls. Her mind had been too watered down with alcohol to keep those memories. "You got kicked out of a bar?" Despite the seriousness Billy couldn't deny that he found that visual rather amusing. After all, that had been his impulse when she was giving him a hard time that first night. Throw her right out on her cute little ass, good thing he hadn't. Billy wondered how many men it had taken. Maybe two or three burly bouncers? No, less. Billy knew Layia would have to be pretty far gone to let herself get tossed out. Meaning she probably couldn't put up much resistance. "More than once." Layia rectified, not overly thrilled about that fact. She might not recall details about the way she acted but Layia definitely recollected her rear hitting the cement.
"Honestly, I was a lost fuckin' cause. Dead to the world and everything that mattered." Repeating these truths wasn't bothering Layia as much anymore. None of that changed who she was now, besides going through those experiences made her better. Looking back Layia realized that it was necessary for her to hit rock bottom. Without that fall she would have never risen up again. Layia had even managed to rebuild herself with more strength than she previously possessed. New and improved. But she'd pushed that year so far to the back of her mind that she wasn't even conscious of the silver linings until she started telling Billy about it.
He certainly had a way of getting Layia to open her mouth and previously hidden sentences to escape the orifice. Initially Layia struggled, that was her instinct, but Billy's blue hues were the key, unlocking the gates of her mind. That knowledge was unnerving. Knowing that Billy could get her to talk without much effort. What else would he get her to reveal in their time together?
Billy was intently listening to everything Layia said, taking it all in. Unlike most women when Layia spoke it didn't sound like a gnat buzzing in his ear. Quite the opposite actually. Her last statement hit home with the gang lord. If someone had taken Joe away Billy would have turned into crazed, vengeful man. An unstoppable force. Naturally Billy assumed he would walk the violent path but he thought that would have been Layia's response too. Maybe some things you couldn't know for sure until it became a reality. With any luck Billy would never have to discover what his true reaction would be.
Then in a moment,
In a flash of light,
In the blink of an eye
You're taken away from me
Gone too soon from the world you belong in
Masses of people trotted past, going about their daily business. Wind whipped hair, sun beaten skin and voices laced with stress described most of them. They were so caught up in their own lives, oblivious to the world around them that only a select few noticed the gaunt girl sitting against the rough building that used to house a decent coffee shop. Layia was steadily wasting away. Her once soft lips were cracked, often bleeding and her entire body displayed her extreme lack of eating over the previous months. Formerly solid flesh now consisted of ribs protruding against the thin skin. Cheek bones were highly visible while her arms and legs had shrunk to unhealthy sizes. Sickly and frail described the once vivacious woman.
Every night she kicked herself, cursing her lack of strength. It was almost a year since Kalila was ripped away from her and Layia still hadn't attempted a rescue mission. The reason was simple. Layia used to have a confidence that rivaled everyone around her but now she'd lost all faith in herself. She no longer believed that she would be successful in killing Hayes and saving her sister. In Layia's unstable and tormented mind all she could envision was making everything worse.
After a night of beating herself up and racking her brain to find an ounce of her old self Layia spent all day wallowing in the misery she'd created. Once sparkling hazel eyes now appeared vacant and hollow as Layia watched the bustling street. These men and women wore nice clothes, had brand new cell phones, expensive watches and yet they seemed so miserable. It must be so hard to smile when you had money and a safe, healthy family. Oh the horror of knowing who you were and where you were going. Layia couldn't even imagine. At least right now she couldn't fathom a single ounce of that.
All she could clearly picture was the murky waters of her mind that she was wandering through. Strong hands grabbing her in bruising holds, trying to tear her limb from limb and pull her under. Layia had enough brains left to know that if they succeeded that would be it. She would be lost, swallowed by her ever growing insanity. Then again, maybe that wouldn't be so bad. Would lunacy lead to peace and joy? Would Layia finally find comfort and safety there? Experts always said being crazy was horrible but did they really know? Maybe those were actually the most cheerful people in the world. What a kick that would be if it was the truth.
She hummed quietly to herself, lips vibrating with the wordless sounds as she thought about what serenity would really feel like. A scoff left her now parted mouth. Who was she kidding? That kind of bliss was for people who deserved it, a reward for not fucking up. Someone that fucked up as bad as Layia did wasn't going to experience tranquility or anything close to it. For a year she'd been living on despair and torment. Why should that ever change? What she allowed to happen wasn't going to change. For even the slightest chance of feeling good Layia would have to be redeemed first. Redemption. That was an interesting word. Could she even achieve it? Was there any for her?
"No, no honey. Stay away. She isn't right in her mind." Where did that come from? Layia furrowed her eyebrows, trying to make sense of it until she figured out that remark was about her. A mother was telling her son to keep away from Layia. Then Layia realized she had been talking to herself, unknowingly verbalizing everything that was going on in her mind. Damn it, Layia mentally slapped herself. She was going off the deep end, if not plummeting already.
Layia shook her head, attempting to shake the repetitive thoughts. So this is what daily heavy drinking, going through packs of smokes and being self destructive in every possible way resulted in. But there was one notion she couldn't forget about. If she let herself be completely taken over by the madness would she see Kalila again? Would her sister be there waiting for her?
"I was really going insane." Layia bit the inside of her cheek, the pain distracting from her words. Insane was so strong but that's exactly where Layia had been heading. Billy smoothed a large hand over his head, feeling bewildered at everything Layia was saying. It was like seeing two sides to one coin, or rather being told the other side existed without having seen it. Even in her moments of sitting quietly with Billy or disclosing parts of herself Layia always held this force, this vigor. The fire Billy was drawn to.
The thought of her completely losing it, becoming a shell of the woman she once was and letting herself fade away in an alleyway struck a chord in Billy. He couldn't fully explain it, nor did he want to. But it made him think, placed questions in the front of his mind. Questions Billy never thought he would be silently asking himself. If that happened to Layia could it happen to him as well? Would Billy always be on top of the world or would he have his time of being on the bottom? What would even put him there, so far down? A rival gang? Bones? Bodie? His brother? And if he ended up there, in the darkness what would bring him back?
I can't tell you I'm sorry
I can't tell you I love you
I can't make it all right
I can't take back my mistakes
Most of the past week had seen Layia still hunched over on the grimy cement steps. The wind picked up in a frigid gust making Layia shiver. Her lack of decent clothing didn't offer much protection from the elements but Layia was far beyond the point of caring. The futile attempt to make herself warmer by hugging the dingy bits of fabric to her skin came from what little instinct Layia had left. Fragments of common sense still littered her brain but they were few and far in between.
With a soft grunt she shifted positions, now leaning her weak body against the metal railing. It had gotten to the point where she could only hold herself up for so long. Then her tiny muscles faltered and she had to find support. "More and more homeless every fucking day." A young business man muttered as he strolled past Layia. The words held no sting for her just reaffirmation about what she'd become. Her face was covered with dirt, her hair had lost all of its shine and was now matted and course. The pathetic clothes she wore looked like they came from a dumpster. But was he right? Was she homeless?
The term didn't fit. Of course, you had to have a home to be homeless. She hadn't had a real home since she was a child so the phrase didn't apply. Heartless? No, she had that because with each passing second Layia could feel it sinking further and further into total darkness. What about soulless? That made a bell chime in Layia's mind. Kalila was her soul, the reason that part of Layia had survived despite the horrors she faced. Without her sister Layia's soul was gone.
She was so lost in the depths of her tortured psyche that she almost didn't notice them. But something entered Layia, compelling her weary head to look up and her sunken eyes to scan the crowd. In the midst of all the people and the chaos were two little girls. Sisters. They couldn't be more than nine years old. Their sunshine blonde hair was pulled into adorable pigtails while they walked happily, holding each other's hands. They were smiling and giggling, brightening up the area around them. The slightly taller one appeared to be keeping a watchful eye on the girl next to her, protecting her.
That's when it happened. Layia's heart completely broke. It wasn't shattering or slowly breaking. It was destroyed. Those little girls had brought Layia down to her lowest point. Begging on both knees for something, anything. They were so happy, the way Layia and her sister used to be. It was Layia's fault Kalila wasn't safe and in high spirits. It was Layia's fault they'd spent most of their lives without a home, always moving. Layia could have gone after Hayes sooner. But she'd been afraid, afraid of leaving Kalila alone while she hunted him down, afraid of not making it out alive. She'd prided herself in not being scared but there had been fear lingering underneath the surface when it came to Hayes. Not of him as a man but of what he represented. Layia's hesitation had hurt her sister.
She wanted to scream, to break down in tears, to literally rip out of every single weakness inside of her. But she couldn't. Her mind wouldn't work with her. Eventually she forced herself to take a deep breath, swallow the painful lump in her throat. Her mind was racing, panicking and it was taking everything Layia had to not lose it completely.
Breathe, just remember to breathe. In and out. Exhale and Inhale. Common human survival instinct. As Layia kept watching the cheerful siblings she realized something. Her sitting here, letting herself become useless wasn't helping her own sister. Kalila would continue to be tormented and made to suffer unless Layia accepted the challenge life had placed in front of her.
That revelation allowed the pieces of Layia's heart to put themselves back together, mend the torn flesh. Layia wanted, no needed to see Kalila smile like that again, to hear her laugh and feel her joy. Nothing else would save her, redeem the otherwise unredeemable young woman.
With wobbly movements and unsteady breathing Layia rose from her previous shameful position. Steady, steady. Come on, don't fall down. She tried to stand tall but her body didn't have that strength yet. That would have to change. Shakily she made her way down the street, silently thanking those young sisters for breaking Layia and rebuilding her. The only way to rescue Kalila and make things right was to be the warrior Layia once was.
"It took two little girls, reminding me of my sister and I to pull myself out of my internal torment, get my ass up and moving again. But not before it destroyed everything inside me first." Layia's eyes were carefully darting around the room, not focusing on Billy as she spoke. Saying she'd been destroyed was hard enough, Layia really didn't want to be staring at Billy's face while she said it. For the first time Layia was allowing herself to remember in detail, exactly what had saved her. It was a surreal experience, terrifying and empowering at the same time.
Because you're gone too soon
All I can do is hold these tears in my eyes
All I can do is hold these regrets in my heart
All I can do is fight for you
All I can do is hope too soon doesn't become too late.
After a month Layia was starting to resemble her old self. Although falling down was certainly easier than getting back up. To reach this point Layia had pushed her body, making it scream and protest, begging her to stop and rest. But Layia couldn't do that. She couldn't afford to. You know what they say, no pain no gain. Now Layia was taking care of herself, polishing and painting the previously ruined canvas. Her full strength hadn't returned but she was obtaining more of it every day. The bones that used to show over her body were steadily being replaced with solid muscle. Food was finally finding its way down her stomach, making her healthier. Her bad vices, smoking and drinking remained. She'd had those long before her breakdown. They'd just become worse over the course of the last year.
A decent cash flow was returning to her person now that she was back to swindling men at pool and poker. Oh how sweet it was to see their faces when they realized they were screwed, duped by a woman in skinny jeans, a blue hoodie and black boots. It was sweeter still to feel that green paper in her hand and the benefits it provided. Ah, the simple things in life.
After all that it was nearly time. Layia would soon make the trip back to Boston and the destiny that awaited her there. But first she needed to require her munitions collection. Thankfully, before her mind started taking a plunge she hid most of them. It seemed a tiny part of her had been hoping that she would eventually pull it together. Thank God for, old habits die hard, right? Needless to say that bag of weapons and trinkets was easily acquired with a one day journey.
A simple store signal clanged, altering the owner that Layia had entered the establishment. Time for the hard part. Todd, the gruff looking man who ran the gun shop emerged from the back, squinting at Layia beneath thin-rimmed glasses. Desperate for money Layia had to sell him her two most prized pieces. Fingers crossed he hadn't sold them to some wannabe that got a school boy hard on from holding artillery in his hands.
Layia held a powerful presence as she walked to the glass display case Todd was near. "Waiting for your boyfriend sweetheart?" He certainly had a lot of nerve. Next thing she knew he would be trying to sell her a pink gun that was the length of her hand. "Nah. My boyfriend couldn't make it." Todd raised a bushy eyebrow, silently asking for further information. "He's at home playing with his barbie dolls. I'm the one with the balls in the relationship."Layia cracked a smile and Todd burst out laughing. Most women that came through his shop didn't have half her sass. They tended to glance around nervously while their husbands or boyfriends picked out a piece. "What can I do fer ya?" So he didn't remember her. Layia wasn't surprised. Last time she hadn't been herself.
"I just want my babies back. Sold 'em to you awhile back." At the moment her back up plan if he didn't have them was nonexistent. Her pieces weren't exactly everyday guns sold in most shops. And Layia wasn't a fan of online ordering.
"Can't guarantee I still got 'em." That was the last thing Layia wanted to hear. "I hope ya do. Feel kinda naked without 'em." She replied with a smirk. Naturally Todd enjoyed the naked comment but he didn't verbalize his thoughts. A woman like her actually deserved respect and that's exactly what she was going to get from him. "What are they?"
"Beretta 92 Vertec and Desert Eagle .357 Magnum." Recognition flashed in the man's brown hues. Those were two guns not often given up. With a nod of acknowledgement he retreated to the far corner of the fairly large building. While Layia waited she couldn't resist the urge to glance at what else the store offered. The entire wall to the right held an impressive collection of shotguns and rifles. A black 12 gage pump action shotgun captured her interest. It didn't have all the bells and whistles like a built in laser pointer but it was sturdy, reliable. A well built piece of machinery. That was all she needed. Layia was tempted to purchase it, especially at the reasonable price of $350.00.
"Here ya go." Todd's voice drew her attention back to him and the two pieces he'd set in front of her. If she wanted she could always get her most recent enticement later. Had to prioritize. "Little problem, this one is spoken for. A man is going to come in at three and pay for it." He quickly motioned to the desert eagle. "What?" Layia narrowed her eyes, disbelief written all over her face. "It's a rare gun. They don't make them anymore." No kidding. It was a military weapon. One men usually didn't bother with and women stayed away from entirely. Not Layia. She'd fallen in love with the little beauty and it had felt like a perfect fit from the start. "Wants it for his collection." Todd continued explaining. Collection? A Desert Eagle wasn't meant to sit on a self somewhere or be stored away. "Trust me. I'd rather give it back to you." That was the truth. Layia could see it in his eyes. "It might be a rare piece but it's just as rare to have a woman appreciate it to so much."
She grinned. "Then you're just gonna have to tell him he's shit out of luck aren't you?" With a chuckle Todd nodded. It wasn't the way he usually ran his business. But this was an exception. "Not every day I get Lara Croft in my shop." He declared and Layia couldn't help but smile. "I haven't heard that one before." Slender fingers trailed over the gun as Layia spoke. She'd really missed this gun. "I'll just tell him the rightful owner came back. Can't argue with that." Layia liked the way he thought. Rightful owner certainly had a nice ring to it.
"How much do I owe ya?" Thankfully she'd cleaned up in Henderson, Tennessee last week. The poker tournament in the back room a dive bar had provided quite well for her. "Tell ya what. I'll make you a deal." With a short nod Layia waited to hear the details of the exchange. "A thousand for both and I'll throw in some extra ammo." Considering the fact that Layia paid over a grand for the Desert Eagle when she originally bought it Todd was offering her an impressive arrangement. She held out her hand, and they shook sealing the pact.
That had turned out to be less of a challenge than Layia expected. With her most valued guns back in tow she slid behind the wheel of her Charger and prepared to make the 937 mile trip from Williamson, Tennessee to Boston, Massachusetts.
"When I finally got my shit together I drove back here. Where it all started." Layia shifted on Billy's lap, letting herself get sucked into his mesmerizing eyes. With a flat palm Billy began caressing the length of her back and Layia found herself leaning into his touch. The night she arrived the vulnerability Layia thought she left behind on that street corner returned, gripping her like a vice. That's why she ended up at Billy's bar. A drink or two to prevent her old susceptibility from taking over. The rest as they say is history.
As always I hope you guys enjoyed. If you don't then I'm doing something wrong. I'm looking very forward to hearing what you all thought. Just two more chapters left of this story! -H