It had been almost two weeks since the babies were born and Chloe still hadn't come by to visit, she hadn't even called or texted, which was extremely odd to say the least. Typically Chloe would be the first one beating down the door to get a peek at a new baby born into their family. Since Beca had twins she thought for sure she'd have to put a shock collar on Chloe just so she wouldn't go completely nuts. Josh and Chloe sent a really nice card and a beautiful bouquet of flowers, layettes for each of the babies and a Build A Bear for Dylan a few days after the babies arrived but otherwise, Beca hadn't heard from her and she was convinced that there was definitely something very wrong.
Beca kept trying to think if she had said or done anything to upset Chloe but she kept coming up empty. She couldn't think of a single thing. Sure she had been extremely preoccupied with Jesse's recovery and taking care of Dylan and she was keeping herself really busy with things around the house while they were waiting for the babies to arrive but the last time she saw Chloe everything was fine, or at least she thought it was. And no matter how much she wanted to, she didn't bring up the fact that Chloe and Josh had both been completely MIA during Jesse's recovery. She felt it was better to say nothing than to risk the beginning of World War III with the apparently moody redhead.
When they saw Chloe a few days before Christmas, to exchange gifts, she seemed to be her normal bubbly self and said many times that she couldn't wait to meet the babies, which made her absence that much stranger. So far, she hadn't returned any of Beca's calls or texts. Beca sent her pictures of the babies with the caption, "We can't wait to meet Aunt Chloe!" She thought for sure a picture of the babies would light a fire under Chloe, but she still got no response. Beca asked Stacie, Aubrey and Lily if they had heard from Chloe. All of them said that Chloe "must be laying low" which they thought was odd, but said that they hadn't heard from her either. As far as beca could tell, none of them seemed too concerned. Was Beca imagining things? Was Chloe really ok? Was she just reading too much into the fact that Chloe seemed to have fallen off the face of the planet? Jesse didn't seem to think so. He felt her concern was extremely justified.
Beca and Jesse both reached out to Josh several times. They invited Nick over to play with Dylan, but he wouldn't answer their calls. He only responded via text saying stuff like "Thanks, maybe next time." or "I'll let Chloe know you called."
A few days later, Beca and Jesse were both shocked and excited when they finally got a text from Josh asking if they could come by for a visit on Saturday afternoon. While Beca was happy to finally hear from them, she knew deep down something was very, very wrong; she could feel it in her bones. Typically, Chloe would have called her bouncing off the walls to come over, making a real pest of herself. The entire situation was just bizarre.
On Saturday morning it was an absolute circus in the Swanson house. Getting a toddler and two infants who constantly wanted to nurse ready for company to come over was extremely exhausting. When Chloe, Josh and Nick walked in the house, Jesse could immediately tell the vibe was off. Chloe was very subdued and quiet…eerily quiet - almost zombie like and appeared to be very heavily medicated. The lights were on but there was definitely no one home.
The babies were in the family room in their swings, Dylan standing between them. He told Beca that he was 'reading his babies a book', she didn't have the heart to tell him that the book was upside down. Whatever...it was a cute, not to mention it was a photo worthy, sibling moment. Beca was sitting close by to make sure that Dylan didn't take their pappies (pacifiers); he was absolutely fascinated by them. She had caught Dylan on several occasions with their pappies in his mouth, he even told Beca he wanted his own pappy which she refused to give him, telling him he was "a big boy and big boys don't take pappies" which only seemed to make his curiosity about the pappies even worse. Beca thought it was probably because he had never taken one.
When Dylan saw Nick walk in the house, he said, "Mommy...Nick's here!" then dropped the book and immediately ran toward him. He was so excited to see Nick that he almost tackled him to the ground. The boys laughed and ran off to play. Beca walked across the room eager to give Chloe a hug but Chloe just stood there. Chloe took one look at the babies in their swings and immediately burst into tears. She gathered her things and said in a very Lily like whisper, "Josh, I thought I could do this but I can't; not right now. I'm going to sit in the car." and she ran out the front door. Those were the only words Chloe uttered in the Swanson house that day.
"Chloe, please don't leave." Beca called after her. "Josh, what's wrong with her?"
"She miscarried over summer, in early July." Josh confessed.
"Oh, I'm so sorry." Beca said as she hugged Josh realizing that was why Chloe had been acting weird at Dylan's birthday party.
"She got pregnant again in late September, which I thought was too soon after the last miscarriage but she was excited about it. Things seemed to be going well but at the 10 week ultrasound Dr. Anderson detected a few problems and sent us for further testing. We went back to the doctor two weeks later for the results. Turns out the baby, our daughter, had Down's syndrome, which was a shock but we were ok. The diagnosis wasn't easy but a baby is a blessing no matter what. After the Dr. Anderson gave us the diagnosis, he did an ultrasound and said that everything else looked really good. While the baby had Down's, the pregnancy wasn't in jeopardy and he gave us the ok to travel for the holidays. With his seal of approval we made plans to go to New York for Christmas. Two weeks later at just 14 weeks gestation, she miscarried our daughter, who we named, Brooklyn Hope. It happened four days after Christmas while we were still in New York."
"Oh my God Josh." Beca gasped. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Beca, how could I? Jesse had his accident and you were pregnant with the twins. You guys were dealing with so much already. We couldn't burden you with our problems."
"You guys are never a burden."
"You're gonna try again for another baby…right?" Jesse asked.
Josh lowered his head, "We can't. She's had a total of four miscarriages over the last two years."
"Four miscarriages?!" Beca asked completely shocked and stunned. "She never said anything."
"Yes, four. She didn't want any of you to know and if she had her way, you still wouldn't know." Josh confessed. "After she miscarried Brooklyn, and we got back from New York, Dr. Anderson did some further tests. Based on the results, we were advised not to have any more kids.
"Why? What did he say?" Beca asked.
"Chloe has severe stage 4 endometriosis, there's a lot of scarring, her fallopian tubes are completely blocked, her ovaries are severely damaged and are no longer producing eggs. The tests also showed that she has some pre-cancerous cells in her uterine lining, which Dr. Anderson thinks contributed to the miscarriage, so he's recommended a complete hysterectomy. She's scheduled for surgery day after tomorrow."
"Oh my God Josh. She's so young. I had no idea." Beca said as she took Ava out of her swing. "Has she always had endometriosis?" Jesse stood in stunned silence as he took Brody in his arms. He couldn't believe that Chloe and Josh had shouldered all of this on their own but then he still couldn't believe all of what Beca had shouldered either.
"She's always had it, other than her parents and me, no one else knew. She didn't want anyone to know. She never told me how bad it was though. I found out from Dr. Anderson." Josh said. "She still hasn't come to terms with 'being gutted like a fish' as she puts it."
"And here I am popping babies out left and right." Beca said guiltily as she stared into her daughter's eyes, tears running down her face.
"Beca, please don't feel guilty. Don't cry. She's happy for you. She really is; it's just been really hard. She wanted so badly to give Nick siblings and that's not going to happen now."
"What about adoption or surrogacy?" Beca asked wiping tears from her cheek.
"She says that's not the same and that if she can't have a baby the old fashioned way than she doesn't want anymore. I'm hoping that with time she'll change her mind."
"Josh…I wish I knew what to say."
"There's nothing to say. I'm trying to stay strong for her but it's been hard. She won't look at me or Nick. She doesn't talk to us, she stays in bed all day. She's been so withdrawn and depressed."
"Sounds like you could use a break." Jesse said. "Do you want us to take Nick for a few days?"
"Man, you have your hands full with Dylan and the babies. I couldn't ask you to do that."
"You didn't…we offered." Jesse said.
"If you're sure it's ok." Josh said. "I really could use a break, especially since her surgery is in a couple of days."
"We'd love to have him. Since our family went back to Georgia, Dylan has missed having kids around the house all the time." Beca told him.
"I'll need to bring some clothes over for him."
"That's fine. He can stay as long as you need or want him to."
Beca, Jesse and Josh all stood up. Josh hugged and thanked them both of them. Jesse handed Brody off to Beca and followed Josh and Nick outside. Beca stood there, a baby in each arm and Dylan tapping on her leg because he wanted juice. "You can do this." she told herself. She sat back down and carefully moved Ava to her right arm so that both babies were in the same arm, then took Dylan's hand as he dragged her to the kitchen. "Mommy, I want some juice."
"Ok, baby…it's going to take me a minute." Beca said as she opened the fridge and pulled the juice out. Dylan put his sippy cup on the counter so Beca could fill it. When Jesse walked back in with Nick, he saw Beca doing what was damn near impossible. She was holding both babies in one arm while pouring juice into a cup for their 2 1/2 year old. When she was done, she somehow managed to screw the lid on the cup before handing it to Dylan.
"Look at you Super Mommy." He said as he kissed her and took Ava from her arms. "Hi my princess." He said kissing Ava on her rosy little cheeks.
"Well, you aren't always going to be here and I need to learn to juggle a bit."
"Looks like you're doing just fine to me." He said kissing her forehead.
"Thanks." Beca said with a smirk. "When is Josh coming back with Nick's stuff?"
"Later this evening; he's going to try to get Chloe to come back."
"I can't imagine what she's going through." Beca said as she watched Brody sleep in her arms.
"I can't either. Poor Josh is bearing the brunt of everything. She was yelling at him because we offered to take Nick for a few days."
Beca looked up confused, "She doesn't want Nick to stay with us while she's in the hospital?"
"Chloe said we were being selfish, that we have three babies of our own and we were taking the only baby she would ever have away from her." Jesse told her. "She also said that she didn't need the surgery since we were single handedly ripping her insides out without the luxury of pain meds."
"Oh my God…She said that?" Beca said hurt evident in her voice.
"Yeah babe, I'm at a loss. I just don't know what to do."
"Well, we're not trying to take Nick from her. We're just trying to help."
"That's what Josh told her. I tried telling her the same things but she wouldn't listen." Jesse said rubbing his face with his free hand. "She called me a 'fucking baby snatcher' so Josh asked me to take Nick inside so he could deal with her. He said he appreciated everything we were doing and that he would call when he was on his way back."
"A baby snatcher?!" Beca said. "She really has lost it. She's delusional."
Beca and Jesse watched as Dylan and Nick played on the floor in the family room. The boys loved each other like brothers, how could Chloe say that they were trying to take Nick away from her? They would never dream of doing such a thing; and nothing could be further from the truth. They were just trying to help the only way they knew how.
Beca called Stacie & Bryan and asked them to bring Colton over to play with the boys. She also planned to use the time to fill Stacie in on what was going on with Chloe. Maybe she would know what to do.
"Mommy, why didn't Aunt Chloe smile?" Dylan asked. "Is she sad?"
Before Beca could answer, Nick said, "My Daddy says she's sick."
"Oh." Dylan said.
"She has a bad belly ache."
"My daddy was sick, but he's better now." Dylan told Nick
"My dad says my mom will get better soon."
Beca sobbed as she listened to their conversation. They were talking like little men. Both of them had been through so much over the last several months yet they both acted as if nothing was wrong. "Children really are resilient." Beca thought. She was shaken from her thoughts when Dylan said, "She'll get better, right Mommy?" as he climbed into her lap.
She kissed Dylan on his cheek and said, "Yes, Aunt Chloe is going to get better, really soon." She hoped what she was saying was true. Chloe just had to get better; she had too many people rooting for her.
Stacie and Colton arrived a few minutes later. Turns out she had no clue what to do either; in fact, she had news that was going to make things even worse. Stacie told Beca that she just found out a few days earlier that she was pregnant and that the baby was due in July. This news would devastate Chloe and possibly make her downhill spiral that much worse. Now they really didn't know what to do. Chloe was in such a fragile state that anything to do with a baby would send her straight over the edge.
"There's got to be something we can do." Beca said. "We're just not thinking hard enough."
"Well, we could have a girl's weekend."
"I don't know with the babies I'm really limited as to what I do. I can't just take off for a weekend."
"What if we just had everyone here? The guys can stay at my house."
"And the kids?" Beca asked.
"They can go back and forth between both houses. It's just for one weekend."
"That might work."
Beca asked Jesse what he thought. He said that he'd talk to Josh about it but thought that a girl's weekend couldn't hurt; maybe it was just what Chloe needed to get out of the funk she was in.
"Maybe we could make it a surprise. If we don't I'm not sure how we'd get her here."
"I think a surprise would be great." Stacie agreed.
Jesse told Beca that he really didn't want to be away from her and the kids for three nights, so he was planning to sleep at home; which Beca was thankful for. He really was a huge help during late night feedings. He suggested that they make call it family weekend and that everyone could just stay that their house instead of all the back and forth between the two houses. After all, they had plenty of room. The girls both liked that idea better and said that if it was a success that they could make it an annual event. Jesse called Josh to fill him in on Beca and Stacie's idea. Josh agreed that it was a great idea and said that he was sure Chloe could use the change of scenery and some time away from their house for a few days.
Now that the girls knew Josh was onboard, they immediately got to work. If everyone was going to be at their house for an entire weekend it was definitely going to take a lot of planning. The girls continued bouncing ideas off of each other for the weekend. They planned a menu and Stacie sent everyone a text letting them know the date, the details and said that excuses were not going to be accepted. Everyone had to be there...PERIOD. They would definitely have lots of good food and adult beverages, though Beca and Stacie couldn't drink, there was nothing stopping the others from drinking.
Since they knew the where and when, it was time to start planning activities to keep everyone occupied. Beca planned to make it crystal clear that she didn't mind anyone drinking but that if they got sick in her house, not only were they going to clean it up themselves and to her satisfaction, but they would be banished to a tent in the backyard for the remainder of the weekend.
Dylan and Nick had been sleeping in Beca and Jesse's room and she wasn't really happy about the arrangement. She hoped that with Nick staying over, Dylan would be prompted to sleep in his room but so far no dice. So Jesse set up a tent on the floor for them and they seemed to be enjoying it, which didn't seem to help the 'let's get Dylan back in his bed' argument.
The third night Nick stayed over he woke shortly after Beca got the babies down after their 2am feeding. She had just turned off the light and snuggled into a sleeping Jesse's side when she heard him.
"Aunt Beca."
"Yeah baby." she said groggily.
"Can I get in bed with you and Uncle Jesse?"
"Sure." she said rolling over to help him up and he snuggled in between her and Jesse. They both lay on their sides facing each other. Nick tucked his head in the crook of Beca's arm. "I'm sorry; did the babies and I wake you?"
"No, I was awake." Nick told her in the darkness.
"Wanna tell me what's wrong kiddo?"
Nick took a deep breath, "Is my Momma gonna get better?"
Beca gasped, took a moment and said, "Yeah baby, she is. She has a pretty bad owie in her belly that we can't see but her doctor is going to fix it."
"Do you think she still love me?" Nick asked as he played with Beca's hair.
"Oh Nick." Beca said holding him tight. "I know she does. She loves you more than you'll ever know."
"More than there are stars in the sky."
"Yes, more than there are stars in the sky." she repeated as tears started to run down her cheeks.
"But she doesn't tell me anymore. She hasn't said it in a long time."
Beca reached over to turn the light on, "Nick," she said tilting his head so he was looking at her, "Your Momma loves you so, so much. You are so special to her. As soon as she's feeling better, I'm sure things will go back to the way they were."
"Brooklyn died and Momma got sad and I don't think I can make her happy again." Nick told her.
Beca lay there, Nick's words were ripping her heart out of her chest. "Yes, Brooklyn died and that's sad, but you have to know that you'll always, always, always make her happy."
"I don't know." Nick said sounded defeated. "I try and try and she just won't smile."
"When she's feeling better and her owie is gone, she'll smile." Beca said while thinking, "Damnit Chloe...I cannot believe what you've done to this beautiful baby. He's heartbroken and you don't seem to care." She just wanted to smack some sense into Chloe.
"Daddy says Brooklyn is our special angel baby and that God had a special job for her to do and that's why she went to be with him in Heaven."
"Your Daddy's right. Brooklyn is a very, very special angel baby."
"But Aunt Beca," Nick said reaching up to touch her cheek, "Aren't your babies special? Why didn't your babies go to Heaven?"
Beca swallowed hard this was going to be tougher than she thought, "Because God didn't have a special job for them to do in Heaven so he sent them here to be with me and Uncle Jesse. All babies are special but only the very, very special ones are selected by God to do special jobs in Heaven."
"Oh, so Brooklyn really is very, very special."
"Yeah, she has to be if God wanted her in Heaven with him."
"I wonder what she looks like." Nick said.
"Well...I think she probably looks like you." Beca said as she ran her fingers through his thick auburn hair. "I bet she's absolutely beautiful."
"Just like my Mom?"
"Yep...just like your Mom."
"Aunt Beca, do you think Brooklyn has wings?"
"Yes, I know she does and they're the most beautiful wings ever."
"Yeah, I think so too." he agreed.
They lay quietly for a few minutes and Beca noticed that Nick's breathing evened off and that he was starting to doze. "I love you Aunt Beca." he said groggily. "more than all the stars in the sky."
Collecting herself and turning out the light, she said, "I love you too Nick, to the moon and back again."
Within minutes Nick was asleep snuggled against Beca's chest. As much as she needed to, she didn't have the heart to move him, so she left him tucked safely between her and Jesse. She needed to feel Jesse's arms around her and to have him tell her that everything was going to be ok but Nick needed them more. She placed her left arm over Nick and rested it on Jesse's waist. He was facing her but he was still asleep and she didn't want to wake him. At least one of them was sleeping. She was crying as looked down into the face of the little boy lying with her. He was such a sweet boy and so much like Chloe. He had her spirit and he zest for life but the poor little guy was just as broken as his parents over the death of Brooklyn. She wished she could understand why things like this happened to such good people.
Jesse reached over for her and woke when he realized one of the kids was between them. "Hey" he said. He could tell she was crying and reached up to wipe the tears from her cheek. "Bad dream?"
"No," she said sniffing. "He thinks Chloe doesn't love him anymore."
Jesse let out a sigh, "Oh God." he said pulling them both closer to him. "What do we do?"
"I tried to reassure him that she does still love him but Chloe needs to come around soon, otherwise I'm not sure what's going to happen."
"Maybe the weekend we have planned will do just that."
"I hope so Jesse. This baby needs his Mommy."
"What if that doesn't happen?"
"I'm not giving up on her Jess, and I'm not giving up on Nick either. I can't."
A week later, Stacie told Beca that she ordered a bounce house, Colton's request, for their family weekend. It would be dropped off on Friday morning and picked up on Sunday evening. Both of them were excited about planning what Stacie called their first annual "Aca-Family Fun Weekend". They sat and planned a few more activities, which would include a dance party per Dylan's request and they would also do a riff off because that was sure to cheer Chloe up.
Beca told Stacie that she had something special planned but that she was going to keep it just between her and Jesse for right now. She also said that Jesse had something up his sleeve but that he wouldn't tell her what it was.
Stacie laughed when Beca told her that Jesse arranged for a guy with a train and ponies to come out on Saturday for a couple of hours so the kids could get train and pony rides in the cul-de-sac. Dylan had requested both and Jesse had a problem with telling him no.
"Turns out this won't be a surprise for Chloe." Beca told Stacie.
"Oh...why?"
"Josh doesn't want to overwhelm her. He told her about the party and the things we have planned and she's agreed to come."
"That's awesome. Maybe she's starting to come around."
"I don't know, you didn't see her Stace. I don't want to let myself think that and be disappointed."
"I know what you mean."
They only had a few days left until their Aca-Family Fun weekend and everyone was calling wanting to know what they could do to help prepare or what they could bring. Everyone was excited, they hadn't had a big get together in some time and they were all looking forward
A/N: So, there you have it. That's what has been going on with poor Chloe...probably not what an of you were thinking. Don't hate me! There are good things coming for her though...I promise!