Okay, guys, don't kill me! I know it's been a long while since I updated. I blame summer break. Too many people to see, too many things to do! Not to mention that 90's shows are now on Teen Nick (my 90's kid heart is happy) and I'm dutifully preparing for college. I promise to update more steadily in the future! I don't like to be kept hanging on a story either. So, in this chapter, you'll find out what's become of Kelly and how Brenda is dealing with the situation as a whole. Where will they go from here? Guess you'll have to keep reading to find out! Thank-you for the reviews and please continue to read (and review, of course). Without further delay, I give you the conclusion to Kelly's overdose nightmare.
Disclaimer: I do not own Beverly Hills, 90210 or any of its characters. Suing me is a major waste of time and energy.
Dylan had led her to the car from the Peach Pit, asking her several times, in several different ways, if she was sure she was up to going to the hospital. She merely nodded. She couldn't speak. She'd allowed herself to cry briefly in Brandon's arms, but after that, the tears had stopped. There had only been blankness and a pale, almost morbidly silent Brenda that couldn't even be cracked by Brandon's silent, careful understanding.
She watched the passing lights of West Hollywood pass by rather absently. She was lost in thought, lost in shock. She'd been like this for the entire drive—Dylan had glanced at her every once in a while, trying to read her expression. Perhaps the mystery in her eyes came from the fact that she, herself, had no idea how she felt about the situation.
They pulled into the parking lot of Cedar-Sinai in a matter of ten minutes or so, following Brandon's packed Mustang closely. Steve rode in the passenger seat and Andrea, Donna, and David were piled into the backseat. Although they could have taken Donna's car, they'd opted to be together at this point. With a group of them there, it seemed less likely for everyone to fall apart.
Dylan gazed at Brenda again as they pulled into a parking space close to the Emergency Room. He sighed, wringing his hands, "Bren, I know I've asked you this a thousand times, but are you sure you're okay with this?" Brenda was glancing towards her brother's car, where David was helping a frazzled Donna out of the car. "Kelly might be in worse shape than any of us originally thought."
"I'm going to be okay, Dylan," She said faintly, trying to hold back the tears. She opened the car door and slammed it shut. She stood there for a minute, looking at the ground.
Dylan had approached her, placing his hands lightly on her hips. "You don't have to be strong all the time, Bren," She looked up at him, and he could see the tears forming. "If you're not sure you can handle this, let's leave right now."
"I think I can handle just about anything at this point, Dylan. You know, I do want to leave, though," She bit her lip, "The thing is, I can't. I don't think you can either."
Dylan furrowed his eyebrows, trying to understand. "I can do anything if it's going to put you more at ease. I'm here for you, Bren."
"Kelly needs my help," Brenda said, regaining a little composure. "She needs our help. She's been awfully antagonistic for a while now, but I can't say I don't love the girl. You can't say you don't care about her either."
"Bren, the feelings that I felt for her, they were all so manufactured," Dylan raised his eyebrows. "The truth is I barely know the girl. That may seem insensitive to say, but it's the truth."
She paused, glancing down. "Dylan, as much as I hate to say this, you wouldn't have a romantic attachment to a girl who didn't mean anything. I think you know and care about her more than you're letting on." A tear ran down her cheek.
"Brenda," Brandon called from a few spaces down, just as Dylan reached forward to wipe her tear. "You coming?" He was clearly anxious and jittery as he made his way to them.
"Yeah, Bran," She folded her arms, sniffling. "You go ahead."
Brandon nodded and ran to catch up with Steve, Andrea, Donna, and David who were already approaching the entrance.
"Brenda, I want to make one thing very clear," Dylan put his hand on her cheek, stroking it, "I am here for you, first and foremost. Do I care about Kelly? Yeah, of course I do. There is nothing that holds Kelly and me together besides you, though. Thinking that there was anything more than that to our relationship—it was a huge mistake."
Brenda gazed at him for another moment, as he put his arms around her, pulling her into an embrace. Then, relinquishing every single ounce of rigidness within her, she stood there for a while, letting him hold her.
He nuzzled her neck, and she smiled as he kissed her, on the neck and on her cheek, "I love you, Bren."
"I love you too, Dylan," She was crying, by that point. Dylan kissed her forehead, holding her head with one hand and her waist with the other.
Five minutes passed without so much as a word, before Brenda finally broke the silence.
"I think we should go," She said, wiping her tears as Dylan grabbed her hand.
"Then go we shall," Dylan leant over as they began to walk and kissed her cheek. Brenda had stopped him, briefly, putting her hand on his cheek, kissing him and then leading him towards the entrance.
By the time Dylan and Brenda had caught up with the remainder of the group, Jackie was at the counter, talking frantically to a nurse who, in turn, seemed to have no idea how to interpret the words coming out of her mouth. Brenda put her hand on her brother's arm, exchanging looks with him.
"Jackie's going to have a nervous breakdown," David swallowed hard as he and Donna walked back towards Brandon, Brenda, and Dylan. "Actually, I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown." He looked down, putting one hand in his pocket. Donna held the other.
"Silver, it's going to be okay, man," Steve, who had walked with Andrea to a payphone so that she could call her grandma, rejoined the group. "Kelly's going to be okay."
"You don't know that," David had said, noticing that Steve didn't seem very convinced by his words either.
"She's going to be okay," Brenda spoke up suddenly. All eyes were suddenly fixated on her. Dylan rubbed her shoulder lightly. "She has to be." Her voice was strained, soft, and low. Brandon nodded, examining his sister, not knowing what to say or do.
"Why can't you tell me how my own daughter is doing?" Jackie cried frantically. She was crying hysterically at this point. "I am her mother, damn it!" David ran in Jackie's direction quickly, grabbing a hold of her as her sobs grew louder.
Brenda hung her head, as Brandon and Dylan both held onto her. Steve was sadly looking on, holding lightly onto Andrea's arm. Donna just fidgeted with her hands uncomfortably.
At some point, when Jackie and David had disappeared behind a set of doors colored an almost sickly shade of pale blue, the gang had taken seats in the waiting room. The cloyingly sweet, sterile smell of the hospital and the constant creaking of stretcher wheels and wheelchairs served to unnerve them all. Brandon excused himself to get coffee several times. Brenda merely stared ahead, as unresolved as ever.
In time, Donna came to sit beside Brenda. They were silent for a while, but after a long stretch of quiet contemplation, Donna found the right words to say.
"Bren?" Donna's eyes were wide as Brenda turned to face her. "I'm scared."
"Me too, Donna," Brenda looked down, and realized she was quivering. Deep-seated resentment was still hanging within her gut, but it was dissipating. There was fear. There was worry. When she said she was scared, she knew that she was telling the truth.
Late afternoon was heavily silent. Eventually, Brenda accepted Dylan's offer to go get something to eat at the hospital cafeteria. Anticipation rose as the hours went by and Jackie and David still hadn't returned with word of Kelly's state.
Hours rolled by. Night fell and Brandon called Cindy and Jim again to let them know they were staying at the hospital for a while. Brandon granted Steve the keys to his car to drop off Andrea, who made the gang promise to update her on Kelly as soon as they found out themselves. By the time David emerged from the depths of the all too elusive inner chambers of the Intensive Care unit, Donna had fallen asleep on Brenda's shoulder and Brandon, now wired from 3 plus cups of coffee, paced around the room anxiously.
As soon as she caught sight of David, Brenda gently shrugged Donna off of her shoulder and squeezed Dylan's hand before letting go of him. She approached David, whose eyes and face were red. As Brandon joined them from the other end of the waiting room, Brenda threw her arms around David, as he cried into her shoulder.
"She almost died, Brenda," He whispered into her ear. Almost. The sentence hardly sounded anything less than grim, but that word gave her hope.
"Is she alright?" Brandon asked, quietly.
"They stabilized her. She's still unconscious, but they pumped her stomach and her heart rate is returning to normal. She was taking an over-the-counter diet pill—way more than the recommended dose. Donna told me about how much she was taking, but I didn't really pay attention. I just figured she was going on one of her diets again," David looked down. Brenda could tell he was feeling guilty. "I thought something was wrong last night. She came home really late; Jake dropped her off. There was yelling outside. I think they got into a fight. I went downstairs to see what was going on, and she was pouring pills into her hand. I didn't want her to freak out on me, so I went upstairs again. She mixed them with cocaine, they think. Jackie had a stash in her bathroom and she said it had disappeared." David sighed, putting his hands on his hips. "I can't help but think maybe I could've done something about it."
"David, you had no way of knowing," David looked into her eyes, nodding slightly and a little sadly. Brenda put her hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him in whatever way she could. Brandon nodded, looking down, grabbing a hold of Brenda's free hand.
Dylan, who had nodded off, woke up as Brenda, Brandon, and David stood in the middle of the waiting room floor. He stood up, watching Brenda, wondering what had happened in the time he'd been asleep.
He watched as Brenda hugged David once more before turning around to face Dylan. She ran to him, embracing him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "She's going to be okay, Dylan," She said as he put one arm around her waist and the other on the back of her head.
He sighed in relief, kissing Brenda's forehead, holding onto her for a long time. As they stood there, Jackie emerged from the double doors, approaching the gang at a rapid pace. They all stood and faced her as she came, Brenda biting her lip slightly as Jackie fixated her gaze on her.
"I want to thank you, first and foremost, Brenda. If you hadn't have gone after her when you did, she probably would have been in far worse shape. Right now she's awake and she's being transferred to a recovery unit. She's very weak, but she's requested to see you," Jackie watched as the tears continue to fall down Brenda's cheeks. "I know things haven't been the same between you two lately, but I do know that Kelly loves you like a sister. You were there for her when I wasn't. Your parents were there for her when I wasn't. I won't put words in her mouth, but I know that at least a part of her felt very guilty about what went on between you two."
Brenda looked down, playing with her hands absently. "I'm not sure if that's such a good idea right now."
"It would mean a lot to her if you talked to her, Brenda. It really would," Jackie watched as Brenda slowly nodded, processing the words, careful as to not show much emotion.
"Kelly has been and always will be like a sister to me. If it means that much, then I'll talk to her. What room is she in?" Her heart began to beat faster in anticipation of the event. She knew that Brandon and Dylan were listening in on the conversation, and that Dylan was probably shaking his head, muttering some comment to Brandon about her bravery.
"I really appreciate this, Brenda. I know Kelly does too. Why don't you just follow me?" Jackie smiled weakly and a little nervously. Brenda folded her arms, not glancing back to anyone as she walked beside Jackie, down a hallway and to a large, spacious elevator—a waiting room now, in its own right.
She was nauseous as they approached Room 117. The door was open, and it was sickeningly silent as they entered the sterile room. There was a tiny bathroom with handicap rails installed to the right, and beyond the narrow passageway between the door to the bathroom and the original entrance was the main room. It was pretty bare, save for a TV against the wall and a small nightstand next to the bed. Kelly's eyes were fixated on the wall in front of her. She was hooked up to several IV's, but she had been taken off of a respirator in the hour since she'd been in recovery. She glanced at Jackie, and then locked eyes with Brenda. For the first time ever, Kelly Taylor looked small—small and weak and fragile.
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. Jackie looked back and forth from Brenda to Kelly, and then gently dismissed herself as Brenda neared the bed.
"You really scared us, Kel," Brenda uttered softly. She was standing at Kelly's bedside now, trying her best to hold herself together.
"I really scared myself," Kelly looked down, and then back up at Brenda. Her voice was strained. "I was so out of control. I couldn't tell anyone either. After all, I did a pretty killer job of alienating all my friends."
"Well, I won't make any excuses for you, Kelly. You've tested the bounds of friendship a hell of a lot lately," Brenda bit her lip. "When push comes to shove, though, you're still my best friend, and I still love you. That doesn't change just because you hurt me, even though you hurt me a lot."
"I don't even know what to say to that," Kelly looked away. "I don't know how you can even look at me after everything's that happened. The truth is, Brenda, I never deserved you as a friend. I don't think I deserve anyone as a friend after today."
Brenda couldn't say anything. She merely listened.
"A long time ago, I told you I'd never try to take Dylan away from you. You remember that night?" Brenda smiled a little wistfully. She nodded as Kelly looked back at her. "I was thinking about how much has changed since that. We used to talk about everything, Bren—and this summer, that all changed. I suddenly started lying. I didn't think about your feelings. All I thought about was how badly I wanted your life. I was so jealous of you for so long, and once I had a little taste of what it was to be Brenda Walsh, I was overtaken with desire."
"Why would you want my life, Kelly?" Brenda eyed her, not able to be gentle in the way she spoke. The anger was swiftly returning. "Every girl in the school wants to be you. Every guy in the school wants to be with you. You're Kelly Taylor—you have everything. Looks, money, sex appeal. I'm little old Brenda Walsh from Minnesota."
Kelly scoffed a little. "You underestimate yourself, Brenda. You're the only girl in school who has ever rivaled me in any of those departments. Let's look at hard facts: Out of every girl in the school, Dylan McKay chose to go out with you. I guess that was the start of it all. Then I saw your family, I saw your happiness, and how in love Dylan was with you. Everything was so perfect. It wasn't fair. When Dylan came on to me, I should've said no. I didn't, though. I was so happy—because, for once, one thing that seemed exclusively yours, a little piece of your paradise, was partly mine. What I didn't realize, though, was the fact that I'd always be second best to Brenda Walsh. I was fool's gold and you were the real deal."
"If I was the real deal, Dylan would have never gone running to you, Kel," Brenda put her hands on her hips, hurt a little by the truth.
"That's not true and you know it," Kelly shook her head, looking Brenda in the eyes again. "He was running away from something and I was just there. I'm sorry, Bren. I really am." A tear ran down her cheek. "I can't believe I did the things I did."
"It's over now," Brenda said, though she knew that she hadn't completely let it all go. "We should just forget about it."
"You and I both know this will never be forgotten," Kelly smiled sadly, shaking her head. "We'll never be back to where we were, will we?"
"Maybe not," Brenda answered, reaching for her hand. She grasped it with both hands, tears running down her cheeks too. "I do know that I'm going to be here for you, though. Like it or not, we're sisters. You have to promise me one thing, though."
"What's that?" Kelly smiled, a little wider.
"You won't ever do anything this stupid again," Brenda returned the smile, squeezing her hand.
"I solemnly swear," Sincerity was seated deeply within Kelly's eyes. "I'm never doing anything like this again."
"I hope not, Kel," Brenda looked at her, letting her hand go and folding her arms. "I don't think I could take much more of this."
"Trust me when I say you don't have to worry about me, Bren," Brenda knew the sentence had more than one meaning; nothing else had to be added. The meaning could easily be read through the silence.
"You up for more visitors, Kelly?" Donna poked her head in the room, followed by David, Brandon, and Steve. Brenda glanced towards the doorway and saw Dylan meekly leaning against the door frame.
"The more the merrier," Kelly said, cheerfully. She gave Brenda one more meaningful glance, and then turned towards Donna to give her a hug. Brenda smiled, and then glanced to Brandon, who gave her a short, reassuring glance. She then dismissed herself, going back towards the door, where Dylan eyed her, his brown eyes full of concern.
"How is she?" Dylan asked, as he grasped Brenda's hand.
"She's doing well," Brenda gave him a small smile, leading him out into the hallway. "I think she's gonna be fine."
"Hey, that's good news," He placed his hand around her waist, kissing her forehead.
"Yeah, it really is," Brenda grinned, pecking him on the lips. He bit his lip coyly, raising his eyebrows. "I think we're going to be alright too, Dyl," She gazed at him, as they stopped in the middle of the hallway.
"I think so too, Bren," He kissed her on the cheek, pulling her close to him. "I think so too."
After another lingering moment, they walked hand in hand down the hallway, towards the exit, knowing that whatever it took them to get to this point was very well worth it.