Author's Notes: My apologies for the slow update. I'm struggling with this middle part of the story, so updates might be patchy for a while as I endeavour to battle along with it.
My sincerest thanks to Prothrombintime for greatly needed encouragement and reassurance. If you haven't checked out the beginning of Prothrombintime's brilliant new story "A Cloud Across the Moon", I highly recommend reading it, and please take the time to leave an encouraging review.
Chapter Twenty-One
September 24th, 2004
When Ianto woke the following morning, he was immediately aware of being pressed up against the solid warmth of Jack's body. Jack's right arm was wrapped around his shoulders, holding him close, while his own was slung somewhat possessively across Jack's stomach.
Slowly blinking his unfocused eyes in the dull, diffuse light, he stretched out his legs within the soft cocoon of the bed coverings, tangling them with the older man's. Other than the gentle rise and fall of his chest accompanied by the rhythmic sound of relaxed breathing, Jack was still and silent, his eyes closed and his other arm resting above his head.
Ianto nuzzled his face into the soft skin at the base of Jack's neck, drawing in a deep breath and savouring the familiar, otherworldly scent. Jack responded with an almost imperceptible tightening of their embrace. Jack's pheromones were a little less intense than usual – more comforting than arousing – the subtle change most likely a result of his slumberous state. Determined to enjoy the still-new experience of waking up with the other man, this time without an end-of-the-world threat demanding their attention, Ianto exhaled a soft sigh and closed his eyes again. His alarm hadn't sounded yet, nor had Jack's wrist-strap, giving him hope they still had some time to themselves before reality intruded and forced them to face the new day.
It had been a mostly restless night, and he'd drifted in and out of consciousness as his thoughts had continued to be consumed by the turmoil of the previous day. He'd been unable to fully relax, and he hadn't allowed himself to believe that Jack would actually stay the entire night. Yet each time he'd woken, Jack had been lying there beside him, holding him comfortingly.
After eventually extricating themselves from the sofa, Ianto had prepared two mugs of hot chocolate and they'd silently consumed the drinks while standing at the apartment's large windows, both staring out over the night-time skyline. Then they'd retreated to the bathroom, taking turns with the toilet before Ianto had hesitantly proffered his spare toothbrush to Jack. In actual fact, he'd specifically purchased the toothbrush three months earlier while picking up a new one for himself, thinking it would be convenient if Jack ever stayed over.
The toothbrush had since been pushed to the back of the small bathroom cupboard, nestled amongst the neatly organised grooming products and bathroom supplies, and he hadn't really thought any further about it. But as he'd handed it to Jack, he'd seen the momentarily flicker of panic laced with fear in the other man's expression. For one brief, tense moment, he'd thought Jack was going to bolt from the apartment. To his relief, Jack had quickly recovered his composure, offered up a wide smile, then proceeded to furiously and messily clean his teeth.
The innocuous length of blue plastic now stood in the holder in the bathroom, joining his own reddish-purple toothbrush – irrefutably proclaiming that their strange, unconventional relationship had forever moved beyond the realms of casual and convenient.
They'd undressed each other, sharing frequent undemanding kisses in the process, the act intimate and reverential, but for the first time entirely non-sexual. Ianto had hung their trousers along with Jack's shirt in the wardrobe, leaving the rest of their clothes in a discarded pile to be dealt with in the morning. Then they'd climbed into bed, settling into a comfortable tangle of limbs.
He'd half-expected Jack to want sex, and he wouldn't have refused, possibly even welcoming the distraction. But he'd felt a sense of relief when Jack hadn't done anything more than give him a brief but tender, almost chaste kiss. Jack had simply wrapped him in a firm embrace and closed his eyes. It had been a little unnerving to see Jack so subdued and restrained, but it was oddly reassuring to know they could be in bed together and intimately close without it being a precursor to anything further.
Jack's hand caressed Ianto's shoulder and warm lips brushed lightly against his temple. "Ianto? You awake?" he murmured.
"Mmm... working on it," Ianto mumbled drowsily, his voice thickened from sleep. He pressed himself closer to Jack, making no further attempt to rouse himself. Jack chuckled gently against his ear, and he felt Jack's other hand link with his own, where it was still resting on Jack's stomach.
It was a few minutes later when Ianto's mind registered that the bedroom should have been darker for such an early hour of the morning. "What time is it, Jack?" he asked, reluctantly lifting himself up far enough to peer down at the other man.
Jack opened his eyes and looked up at him. He was fully awake, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "A little after nine."
Frowning, Ianto twisted his head to glance over his shoulder at the glowing green digits of his alarm clock, confirming that it was indeed as late as Jack had just stated. He looked back at Jack suspiciously. "We should have been at the Hub at least an hour ago. What happened to our alarms?"
"I turned them off," Jack replied nonchalantly, stretching himself out with a languid sigh. "Thought we deserved to sleep in. Actually, I've decided we're having the day off."
"Both of us?" Ianto stared at Jack incredulously. "But we can't... there's the Rift, and Myfanwy..."
"Sure we can." Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto and pulled him closer again. "The world will just have to manage without us for the day. We can stop by the Hub later and feed Myfanwy, and with a bit of luck the Rift will behave itself."
"Hmm. Sounds like you've got it all worked out." Ianto couldn't quite stop a grin from spreading across his face as he contemplated the idea of spending a normal, Torchwood-free day with Jack, no matter how unlikely that seemed.
He pressed his lips to Jack's and kissed him slowly, enjoying the sensation of Jack's rough, stubbled skin against his own. It was oddly reassuring that despite Jack's unique condition and evolved biology, he grew facial hair just like any other regular man.
"So, what are we going to do with ourselves then?" he asked, pulling back far enough to meet Jack's eyes.
"Well, for a start, I plan to take full advantage of the fact that I'm currently naked, in a large, comfortable bed, with a gorgeous, equally naked Welshman." Jack paused, looking thoughtful. "I was thinking I'll cook tonight... we can have a nice dinner together, maybe a movie afterwards. As for the rest of the day, there's always naked hide and seek... or strip poker... or naked Twister... or strip Scrabble... actually, now I come to think about it, there's quite a list."
"Dinner sounds lovely," Ianto agreed, mentally steeling himself for the devastation to his kitchen that inevitably accompanied Jack's culinary efforts. "Is it just me," he continued, trying to keep a straight face. "Or do all your games seem to have a common theme?"
Any attempt by Jack to look innocent was derailed by the salacious smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I hadn't noticed."
Ianto rolled his eyes. "I suppose naked Twister might be fun," he conceded.
Jack's eyes widened. "Really?"
"Yup." Ianto nodded, inordinately pleased to see Jack's playful side emerging again after his deeply melancholy state from the day before. It was good to see Jack smile again, without the effort seeming forced.
Staring into the mischievous blue depths of Jack's eyes, he experienced the warm flutter of emotion that was becoming more and more common when they were together like this. It still caught him off-guard sometimes, the enormity of Jack's presence, combined with the often striking dichotomy of his nature. Jack was formidable and intimating, yet vulnerable, sometimes tentative, and often astonishingly gentle. He wondered if he was being overly fanciful in thinking he could spend his lifetime trying to chart and understand the numerous facets of the enigmatic Captain. He couldn't imagine finding anyone else who so completely fascinated and captivated him in the way that Jack did.
Sometimes he felt so small and insignificant compared to Jack... so inadequate and ill-equipped to deal with everything that Jack was. Yet, he forcibly reminded himself, of all the places Jack could be, and of all the people he could be with, he chose to be here with him.
Jack's smile softened as he slowly brushed his fingertips along the line of Ianto's jaw, teasing the unshaven skin before scratching his thumb lightly back and forward over Ianto's chin.
"I like seeing you this way," he murmured. "All sleep-rumpled and scruffy. As much as I adore seeing you in your suits and groomed to perfection, this..." He paused and stroked his fingers through Ianto's hair, ruffling it gently. His hand then settled on the back of Ianto's head and he eased him closer until their lips brushed together. "This is very nice too. You're adorable, Ianto Jones... completely and utterly adorable."
Ianto pulled away, scowling at Jack. Although he appreciated Jack's flattery, it was hardly what a self-respecting, albeit somewhat insecure – at least when it came to Jack – young man in his prime wanted to hear from his very masculine bed partner.
"What?" Jack asked, looking confused.
Ianto huffed. "Adorable? It's not exactly what a bloke wants to hear from another bloke, Jack. Especially when the two blokes in question are naked in the other bloke's bed."
To his further annoyance, Jack looked like he was about to burst into laughter. "Why not? You can call me adorable if you want. I don't mind. After all, I am pretty damn adorable. You'd only be telling the truth."
Ianto smirked in spite of himself. "I could call you a lot of things. Modest definitely not being one of them."
Jack simply laughed, his eyes dancing with amusement. Then with one swift movement, he tossed back the bed covers and reached down to Ianto's crotch, beginning to stroke him insistently. "You're also sexy as hell and sinfully irresistible."
Ianto groaned as his body began to respond with unrestrained enthusiasm to Jack's ministrations. "I suppose that's better," he murmured, a flush of arousal coursing over him. He gasped as Jack gave a sharp twist of his wrist, then teased his thumb over Ianto's sensitive crown. "Mmm. That's, uh... that's nice."
Jack grinned and pushed him onto his back, straddling his hips. Leaning down and pressing their bodies together, Jack kissed him deeply. "So, I'm forgiven?"
"Yes, all right," Ianto allowed, shifting his hips to rub himself against Jack and receiving a groan of pleasure for his efforts.
"Good," Jack muttered, groaning again. "Because otherwise, I might have had to stop."
Ianto raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "I seriously doubt you'd do that."
"You're probably right," Jack agreed with a devilish grin. "Always a first time though."
He reached for the drawer of the bedside table and fumbled for a moment, then quickly prepared himself as Ianto watched on avidly. Straddling him once more, Jack lined himself up and slowly lowered his body, bracing his hands on Ianto's shoulders and moaning softly. Ianto grasped Jack's hips, letting out a breathless whimper. He closed his eyes, momentarily overwhelmed by the intense sensation of Jack's slick, tight heat engulfing him.
Jack wrapped his arms around him, pulling him upright, and he captured Ianto's mouth in a hungry, breathtaking kiss. Still cradling Ianto in his arms, he lowered them down onto the bed again and began sliding himself up and down the full length of Ianto's achingly hard erection.
Ianto buried his left hand in Jack's hair, pulling him into another passionate kiss. Reaching down with his other hand, he began stroking Jack, matching their leisurely rhythm. The warm rush of pleasure was intoxicating, and as his mind and body surrendered to the potent, heady sensations, Ianto couldn't imagine a more perfect way to start the day.
No further words were exchanged, the only sounds their frequent, soft moans as they clung to each other and continued moving together. They were now so used to each other's bodies, both knowing how to extract every nuance of pleasure from one another. Jack was always attentive, generous, and admirably single-minded, seeming to find as much joy in the pleasure he was able to give as from what he received. Given Jack's long life, it didn't entirely surprise Ianto that the older man could effortlessly reduce him to a writhing mass of pleading desperation. However, what did continue to astonish him was that he'd proven himself capable of doing the same to Jack.
Ianto climaxed first, his entire body trembling as he thrust upwards and erupted deep inside Jack. After two more firm strokes of his hand, Jack followed, unleashing a loud groan as his body arced upwards, shooting his release over Ianto's stomach and chest. Mesmerised by the look of euphoric abandonment in Jack's handsome features, Ianto watched with fascination as several intense shudders rippled over the planes of Jack's body.
They rested quietly on the bed afterwards, Ianto stretched out on his back, Jack on his side, his head resting on Ianto's shoulder. Ianto sighed contently as Jack's hand roamed up and down the length of his torso, the exploring fingers teasing through the covering of dark, silky hair that Jack always seemed so enamoured with.
He'd never thought he could be so comfortable like this, completely naked, spread out and on display, relishing the attention of his bedmate. In the past, before Jack, he'd always been quick to cover himself up after sex, feeling awkward and self-conscious. But Jack had an enviable talent for somehow managing to discover and nurture new, startling aspects of himself he'd never known had previously existed.
Jack's hand stilled over Ianto's stomach and he pushed himself up onto the elbow of his other arm. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, his voice unusually hesitant.
Ianto looked up at him curiously. "What for?"
Jack shook his head with what seemed to be regret. "I haven't been fair to you. I kidded myself that keeping things simple and uncomplicated would be better. But I knew you were special... right from the start, I knew this was different."
"Jack, it's not like you ever mislead me," Ianto said gently, surprised by Jack's admission, but warmed by his words. He shifted into a semi-upright position, adjusting the pillow behind him. "Besides, I wasn't sure what I wanted either. I mean, I realised I wanted this, but it took me a while to come to terms with being with another man. Plus, I was still getting over Lisa."
"And now?" Jack asked, looking at him intently.
"A lot has changed since then," Ianto replied with a shrug, still surprising himself with his ready acceptance of how much his life had changed. "Things are different now."
Jack nodded. "Yes, they are. And while I might not have mislead you, that's no excuse for me being a coward. You're important too, Ianto. You shouldn't need to make excuses for me. I want you to be happy."
Ianto nodded thoughtfully. It wasn't really as simple as that, and he'd never ask Jack for more than he seemed willing to give, especially with what he knew about Jack's circumstances. But he decided not to press that particular point. "So, what are you saying here, Jack?"
Jack sighed and stared down at where his hand was still resting on Ianto's stomach. "That I want more," he eventually replied, looking at him earnestly. "I want this..." He waved his hand between the two of them. "Spending nights together, being with you when you wake up... having lazy mornings like today. I want to make the most of our time together... at least, as much as Torchwood and our situation allows. I can spend some nights here, maybe once a week or so, and you can stay over at the Hub sometimes if you want to. I know it's not much, and our work will always come first." He paused as a flicker of sorrow appeared in his eyes. "I've made so many mistakes, Ianto. I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, and I have a great many regrets. I don't want this to be one of them."
The heartfelt sincerity in Jack's words dispelled any lingering doubts Ianto might have otherwise contemplated. His greatest fear was causing Jack further pain, more so than his own potential heartache, but living with regret and loneliness seemed so much worse. He smiled gently at Jack. "Okay," he said simply.
"Okay?" Jack asked, looking at him warily.
"I want all of that too," Ianto said with completely honesty, leaning into Jack and kissing him. Jack sighed against his mouth and kissed him back.
"Now that's settled, how about I make us some breakfast?" Ianto suggested, realising he was actually quite hungry. "Porridge and coffee?"
Jack chuckled, his face alight with an expression of amusement and affection. "Sounds perfect," he replied with a warm smile.