Hey guys! Sorry once more for the long delay with putting this chapter up but now that school is finished for me I should be good to go. However, the sad part about that is that this story is basically at its end. There will be one or two more chapters at most left that should be up next week. But in other news, I'm working on another two stories; I'm not a hundred percent sure if I'm going to publish them here yet, but I will be going into depth about it more in my last chapter for this story.
I give to you a very long chapter that I hope you enjoy!
Ness
Chapter 20
Garrett stood on my front steps with a huge black umbrella and his medical attire. Beside him was Bella with her hair pushed back and her arm wound around Garrett's. The initial shock lasted for a moment longer before it wore off and I was able to move. I slowly removed the cigarette from between my lips and blinked.
"Did we?" Bella asked quietly with pleading eyes.
"What are you doing here?" I questioned ignoring her question. Garrett gave her a quick glance but stayed put.
"Aren't you going to invite us in?" Bella's tone was challenging and I saw that the skies opened behind them, letting loose a new storm. Thunder cracked and she screwed her eyes shut making my senses act on their own. I stepped to the side and Bella walked in first while Garrett closed the umbrella behind her. I was tempted to close the door in his face and keep Bella locked away with me but the moral side of me pushed that away. The house seemed bigger with both of them standing in the middle of the living room. Bella had rid herself of her coat but Garrett kept his on.
"Make yourselves comfortable." I said in a tight voice and Bella gave us a small smile.
"I came to talk."
"I thought you left." I retorted. The air felt dense and tense.
"I did." She confirmed with a firm nod of her head. "I wanted to clear a few things up."
"Like?" I raised an eyebrow as I fingered my lighter that was in my pocket.
"You seem to have this misconception that Garrett's my boyfriend." She started. "He's not. He's been a really good friend to me." She started fiddling with her bracelet nervously. I blinked at the onslaught of information.
"What are you talking about? You yourself told me you were going out with him."
"Technically I told you I was going out on a date with him." She corrected, biting her bottom lip. "I lied. He was coming over." Garrett seemed at perfect ease so I assumed he knew about this ahead of time. "He was checking in on Charlie."
"Carlisle's a good friend and asked me as a favor to check up on Bella and her father. He explained to me the situation so when he would give Bella's father the morphine he'd send me to check up on him." Garrett explained. "I started to be around more often when the morphine wouldn't be as effective."
"Whenever Carlisle couldn't make it he'd send Garrett." She gestured her hand in front of him. "I told you I was going out on a date with him that day because I didn't want you to know why he was here. I had no plans of letting Charlie's condition be known so when you surprised me at my house and Garrett showed up I improvised."
My head felt light and suddenly the information became overload. So she wasn't seeing Garrett. It'd be a lie if I said I wasn't suddenly a lot happier than before. Garrett turned to look at her and though she just explained that it was a fake relationship, I saw the look in his eye. There was a spark in them as he gazed at her. He liked Bella, perhaps more than she even knew, and I'm sure he would want their relationship to be real at this moment. I'm sure that's why he went along with this. His phone rang and he quickly glanced at it before making a face.
"It seems I'm needed." He sighed, tucking away his phone before turning to Bella. "I'll see you."
"Thank you." She smiled and gave him a hug. He shook my hand and then grabbed his umbrella to walk out into the storm. When the door shut behind him Bella turned back to me. "I asked him to drive me and come with me so you'd hear it with your own ears. I knew you wouldn't believe me if I simply told you."
"All that so I wouldn't know about Charlie?"
"If you knew about Charlie than that would've connected us once again. I didn't want anyone to know originally. I didn't want sympathy from anyone, I don't like sympathy." Her eyes hardened. "I've been through different situations so I wanted to treat this one just as I had with everything else, but obviously that didn't go according to plan." She sighed. "It's hard to explain, Edward. I guess like opening a can of worms."
"You're not supposed to be here right now." She tilted her head to the side.
"No, I'm not. I left." The blistering sound of thunder rumbled through the house. "I stayed at a motel nearby and I thought over a few things."
"Like?"
"How patient you've actually been."
"Patience is not my virtue." I argued, turning away indignantly.
"Neither is peace." She giggled and I sighed.
"What do you want, Bella?" My voice sounded tired to my own ears.
"To apologize." She uttered making me whip back around. "You were there for me when you found about my eating problems and about Charlie. You didn't care that I wanted to tear your head off."
"That's what I've always done for you. That wasn't going to change." She rubbed her lips together, staring at me with something in her eyes.
"We might've changed but we're still us." She murmured softly and I snorted.
"The last time I told you that you thought I was crazy."
"Have you wondered what things would be like now if the past was different?" She brushed my comment off and continued with an ominous tone to her voice. "Would our parents still go out on monthly double dates?" She bobbed her head to one side. "Would I have been the maid of honor at Rose's wedding?" She bobbed her head to the other side. "Would my parents still be alive?" Her voice constricted. "Would we have gotten together like an actual couple? Would we have broken up but managed to salvage our friendship?" It was as though she were ticking off items on a list. "Or would we have stayed together? Perhaps married with our own family." Her eyes bore into mine and we were lost in each other.
"I don't know." I answered honestly although it pained me. Her shoulders slumped and a sad smile tickled her features.
"And we never will." She confirmed. "Things happened for a reason—"
"You can't simply blame everything on me for what happened with Jessica. Bella we were kids—"
"I'm not blaming you for everything that's happened." She interjected sternly. "I shouldn't have left and ran away so easily." She hung her head. "My mom would've found a way to stay if I really wanted to, but I was so mad. I never wanted to see you again, but you're right. We were kids and I knew who you were. The truth is perhaps I wasn't strong enough to match you at that point in my life. My personality was docile and that's why you were able to get anything you wanted from me."
"That's not true." I countered brusquely. "Your personality was strong enough to resist any attempts of me seducing you. You were the one woman who didn't fawn at my feet with a simple smile." Her lips twitched in a small smile. "However you have molded into a new woman with a strong character."
"If there's anything I'm grateful for after all these years away from Forks, it's the way to see life in a new perspective from my own eyes rather than anyone else's. I've learned to please myself."
"I need you to understand that you weren't the same as everyone else, Bella."
"I know." She took a deep breath. "I shouldn't have ran and I shouldn't run now." I leaned off the ball of my feet and felt the blood rush to my fingers.
"You're staying?"
"Yes." I walked over to her and clasped her hands, glad that for once she wasn't swatting me away.
"Maybe if I was more mature things would have been different."
"We can't change the past but maybe—"
"It needs to stay there. In the past." She nodded.
"When I came, Charlie asked me to forgive him, as you know. I couldn't and even though he was dying in front of my eyes I couldn't help but hold a bitterness to him. I felt that he was responsible for what happened with me and my mother." She looked down at our linked hands, repeating her inner thoughts. "When he was on his deathbed it suddenly felt more surreal than anything before. I never witnessed my mom die but watching my father die brought on a new wave of agony. When he finally died I realized I spent all this time begrudging him."
"Bella,"
"He never heard me forgive him and I can't ever forgive myself fully for that." She shook her head and I pulled her closer to me. "The lesson I got from that was that sometimes I need to forgive." Her eyes suddenly seemed endless. "I've kept a grudge over what happened between us for too long. You said you were sorry and I've realized that if I want you in my life I need to forgive you." My eyes widened at the words she used. Stay in my life? "I forgive you, Edward. I hope you forgive me as well."
"For what?" My throat closed up and she smiled, removing her hands and grazing her fingers along my jawline.
"For running. For cutting ties with everyone. For not telling you the truth that brought me here and making everyone stay quiet for me. For never telling you how I actually felt."
"I still feel a small prickling irritating sensation when I think about how everyone knew but me." I grumbled. "I'm just waiting for some time before I address it." She looked slightly hesitant which made me cock my brow.
"I can't blame you. I would probably be the same way."
"I'll forgive you on one condition." I cleared my throat to regain my composure back. She looked up at me with the tips of her fingers still touching my jaw.
"And what's that?"
"You tell me how you feel about me." Her mouth formed a small 'O' and she went stock-still for a moment. It looked as though she was recoiling from her earlier statement.
"Edward, you're a fucking fool." She snorted and when I opened my mouth to protest she pushed herself up on her toes and slammed our mouths together. Her lips were warm and full of invitation as they pressed against mine and full of a strong passion. Our lips moved in perfect harmony with no rush or impatience. It was languid and slow but it was full of everything I missed. Her fingers pulled at the hair at my neck, gripping them with familiarity. She pulled back an inch, our lips brushing against each other as our ragged breaths mingled with one another. "I love you." The intensity and burn behind those words shook me inside.
I felt like my breath left my body completely empty but I was still able to survive. My heart stammered viciously behind my chest until it was the only thing I heard. Adrenaline filled my veins and a smile threatened to break free.
"Ms. Swan you beat me to the punch line." Her furrowed brows started unknitting as it dawned on her. "I love you with every breath I take and I've waited over eight years to say that." I pressed our foreheads together and kept my arms securely wounded around her waist. Laughter bubbled on the surface and she threw herself into another kiss which I did not mind whatsoever. "A fool for you." I tried with a corny smile and she rolled her eyes.
"Suave." She cooed. The loud sound of water hitting the pavement echoed and the room lit up with the purple flashes that occurred every few minutes.
"You're mine." I declared firmly, gauging her reaction.
"What happened to maturing and growing up?" I gave her my lopsided smile and shrugged.
"You can't teach an old dog new tricks." Her face softened and she rubbed our noses together.
"I'm yours. Completely." More than eight years have I waited for her to repeat those words to me. It felt like déjà vu in a sense but at the same time it was a fresh start. I didn't mean I owned her when I said mine, I just meant we belonged to one another the way people who loved each other did. "I will kill you if you do anything like that again." She threatened and I rolled my eyes.
"My eyes are only trained for you now, baby." She set her feet onto the ground and stepped back giving me a one-over.
"Bad boy Edward is one of my favorites." She flicked the lapel of my leather jacket and I chuckled.
"Well then, pretty girl, you're in luck." I grabbed her around the waist and hauled her against me. She laughed and flailed against me as I walked up the stairs into my room.
We lied on my bed with our legs entangled together and Bella wearing my button down I threw earlier. I had a cigarette in my fingers and inhaled a puff of smoke before exhaling just as quickly. My fingers ran down Bella's now pale skin and she hummed softly.
"Won't Esme be mad?" She questioned while looking at the cigarette. I nodded and flicked off some of the ashes off the tip in the ashtray beside me.
"One won't hurt." She removed it from my hand and placed it against her lips, breathing in deeply. She had a look of concentration on her face before she exhaled a cloud of gray smoke that enveloped my room. Maybe one will hurt. She returned me the cigarette and sat up.
"I hope my dad forgives me for being such a bitch." She sighed and scratched her sex-hair only to make it messier.
"I know he did." Charlie died peacefully with no hatred or bitterness in his soul anymore. He felt love and remorse most of all.
"You know, I couldn't stand the idea of you with any other woman." She stretched her arms over her head and smiled. "Even coming back to Forks after all these years, I was scared to find you with a wife and two kids."
"Do you not know me?" I chuckled. "The picture perfect family wasn't in my plans and least of all with anyone that wasn't you."
"When I asked you if you'd still be my friend even if you had a wife and family of your own and you said yes, something in me snapped. I don't know how to explain it." She crossed her legs pretzel style and played with the hem of my shirt. "I felt lonelier than I had felt in a while."
"How do you think I felt when I thought you were seeing my father's employee?" I growled unintentionally and she ran her thin fingers over the top of my lips.
"You're sort of hot like this." She remarked while I was amused.
"When did you get so bold?"
"New York." She gave me a cheeky grin and I pressed my lips to hers, hearing a soft moan escape her lips. The sound only served to awaken me and drive me further into hearing it again. My tongue delved into her mouth and my arms tightened around her causing another moan to escape through her lips. My fingers played with the skin beneath the shirt and she pressed herself closer to me, pushing her breasts into my chest. Our breathing became ragged and lust presented itself again only to be interrupted when we heard a car pull in. Bella nearly jumped off and checked the window.
"Shit! Esme!" We both flew and grabbed our clothes, dragging them on with expertise. Once I finished hauling on my shirt I turned to see Bella fighting with her hair.
"Leave it, I like it." She snorted.
"As if! This indicates hot sex took place." She grabbed it all and piled it into a ponytail securing it with an elastic while I smirked. Just how I like it.
"Ah! Esme be careful!" Rose's loud voice penetrated the windows. "Shit, why the hell do we have to live in a geographic area where the weather is almost never nice!" We started laughing at her complaints and made our way down the stairs.
The doorknob turned and in burst Esme followed by a soaked Rosalie. Her golden tresses darkened up a few shades and stuck to her face and her nostrils were flared. The loud squishing sound of Esme's boots made Bella giggle which caught the attention of the two women that walked into the living room.
"Bella!" Rosalie exclaimed in obvious surprise, her earlier irritation momentarily forgotten. "Why are you still here?"
"Rose." Esme chided and Rosalie squirmed.
"That came out wrong. I meant aren't you supposed to be running away from us?" Her eyebrow rose and her lip gave a small snarl. She was clearly still hurt over Bella's decision and in typical hormonal-bitch manner, she let her know. Esme's brows furrowed and she whipped around to look at her.
"Rosalie!" Rose merely shrugged but remained put by her statement.
"I'm speaking the truth, Esme." Bella bit the corner of her lip before taking a step forward.
"I've thought things over." Esme's eyes flitted to her with a spark of hope in them. "Everyone's right. I'm running away for the wrong reasons when everyone who cares about me is here."
"Oh sweetheart." Esme clapped her hands and made her way over to Bella, grasping her hands in hers. "I'm so glad." My eye caught Rosalie's smirk and my eyebrows knit together. She held back a giggle with a small cough behind her hand. I narrowed my eyes and she grinned.
'Your fly.' She mouthed with a cynical smile and my eyes instantly flew to my pants zipper which was open. In my hurry, I must've forgotten to zip it up. Looking into Rosalie's beady little eyes I knew that she knew we had sex. I shrugged with a smirk and let it be.
"Are you still mad, Rose?" Bella's small voice broke through our own private mockery session.
"Are you really asking a pregnant woman if she's mad?" I voiced and Rosalie narrowed her gray eyes at me.
"You shouldn't be talking. I'm still waiting for my Rocky Road cone." She tilted her face away from me as I chuckled. "Yes and no. How dare you put me through that shit again?" Her face was one of no nonsense. "But no because I'm glad you're still here. Who the hell else would be my baby's godmother?" She sighed and hugged Bella tightly, her shoulders relaxing.
"I'm sorry." Bella whispered and the words had an immediate effect. Rosalie was smiling and it seemed as though a heavy weight had been lifted off of her.
"As long as you don't do this again." She warned and Bella lifted her hand and crossed her fingers.
"Promise." Esme's smile was blinding. She could barely hold in her emotions as she heard Bella confirm her stay.
"So you and Edward made up?" Rosalie asked straight out with no beating around the bush. Her face was expectant but her eyes were twinkling with curiosity. Bella bit her lip, a smile flirting on her face before she turned to me.
"Something like that." I replied smoothly and Bella jammed her elbow into my side making me wince and bow forward, holding my stomach.
"Ass." She muttered. Rosalie laughed with delight and tilted her head as she looked at me.
"I guess you gave the wrong answer." Catching my breath, I inhaled deeply finding my center and then managed to stand up straight beside the little pretty demon.
"Clearly." I drawled, shifting one inch away from her to avoid any more elbow jamming. Esme's hopeful eyes were on us and a soft smile graced her face. "We've made up." I affirmed and Rosalie squealed.
"Excellent. Emmett and I were starting to work on plans to stick you two in a room together, hoping for a positive outcome." She had no shame and I knew that they would actually go through with their plans.
"You have too much free time on your hands." Bella gasped with wide eyes and Rose winked at her.
"So this means?" She pressed and I stepped behind Bella and kissed her temple.
"It means we're giving it a chance." Bella answered. "To see where this goes." Esme immediately hugged us and bounced to the cabinet where she pulled out a Pinot Noir for us and Apple Cider for the pregnant lady who kept firing questions at us.
Rosalie peeked her head from the living room with a smile. Her eyes held some amusement to them. From the living room we could hear the buzzing of everyone.
"Everyone's here and ready."
"Thanks, Rose." I replied and she happily walked away. Esme gave her the job of keeping everyone away from the kitchen and settled until we decided to walk out. No one besides me, Rose and Esme knew of Bella's return and Esme chastised us until we agreed to speak with everyone. She thought it would be good to face everyone and she thought it would be good for me to tell everyone of how I felt during this entire time period since Bella's return. I couldn't refute her because she had her mind set so we agreed.
However, Bella was sitting on the island stool, folding a napkin once—twice—no thrice, as she squirmed in her seat. Her brows were pushed together and her lips were in a tight line. It was an understatement to say she was nervous.
"Let's go, Bella." I placed my hand on her fidgeting fingers and she stilled for a moment. "Hey," I whispered near her ear. "I thought you said no more running away."
"I said no running away but that doesn't mean that I'm not nervous." She shot back, her eyes focused on the still napkin. I smiled and kissed behind her ear, smelling the faint trace of jasmine off of her skin.
"It's just everyone we know. Not any strangers."
"Sometimes I prefer to deal with strangers." She muttered under her breath. "I can't even begin to imagine their faces."
"They'll be happy to see you're back."
"You obviously don't know Alice."
"But you do and I'm sure you'll work out whatever you need." She sighed and I grinned against her skin, causing her to shudder. Her body, as always, was receptive to whatever mine did to hers. "Now no more stalling or making up lame excuses, stupid girl."
"Shut up, stupid ass." Her voice was half-threatening and I chuckled.
"Why are we here?" I heard Jasper ask and I rolled my eyes. "I mean not that I mind, Dr. Cullen—"
"Kiss ass." Bella and I murmured in unison, laughing quietly.
"But it was so random."
"I don't know, Jasper. I didn't even know you'd be here. Esme I didn't know you even had Jasper's number."
"I don't." Mom voiced happily. "But Alice does."
"Where's Edward?" I heard Emmett ask. "I thought it was a full on gathering for news on the baby."
"Oh he's coming, if he would just leave the kitchen!" I could hear the high-pitched emphasis on Rosalie's voice and I knew that was our cue. Bella hopped from the seat and nodded.
"Come on before Rose mauls us." I entwined our fingers as we walked out to be greeted by overwhelmed faces.
"Bella!" The collective gasp was in synch and she waved with a shy smile.
"Hi!" Emmett made his way to move until Rose grabbed his shirt.
"Emmett, do not move from your spot. They have something they want to convey and you'll give Bella an easy way out of it if you start speaking to her."
"Fine." He grumbled and stood in place.
"I'm so glad to see you, Bella!" Carlisle said overjoyed, a genuine smile on his face. "How are you feeling?"
"Good, thank you for worrying so much." Everyone's eyes focused on our hands and I could see the evident question forming in their heads. "I wanted to tell everyone that I was sorry for what happened." Bella started. "I came here with the intention of being by my father's side during his last days but I also gave you all so much trouble and in the end, I left without saying a word or even a thank you. That was uncalled for and I am so terribly sorry." Her head fell for a moment and I saw everyone open their mouths to start jumping in with their comments.
"But before you all start talking and jumping in, I want to address something that has bothered me." Mouths became tightlipped and the attention shifted to me, including Bella's. "I know that you all knew of Charlie's condition and that that was the reason Bella came back in the first place." Eyes shifted around the room. "And I also know that you kept it a secret from me because she asked you to, but I feel neglected and almost isolated because of that."
"Edward—"
"I know I am probably the biggest asshole in Forks—" I shrugged mindlessly and without shame. I felt no shame in admitting who I was. "But I am also part of this family and your friend." My eyes flickered to everyone that surrounded us. "And if anyone knows Bella the best it's me. I know her like the back of my hand and I should have been let in on this secret you all kept." My voice was steel and my chest felt heavy.
"We wanted to tell you but we didn't know how you'd react." Emmett interjected. "I was caught between my loyalties for you two but in the end I chose Bella because of the circumstances."
"I know and if anything, I do appreciate your loyalty and love for Bella. She needed it at the time." Her hand tightened around mine. "But it doesn't take away the fact that everyone tip toed around me."
"Edward," She tugged at my hand. "It's my fault that they kept it from you, I practically cried in front of them and made them promise they would. I apologize that you felt that way, but at the time it was something I really wanted. I needed to not tell you because if I did, I knew you would've helped me out and it would have made the situation worst for me. I would've fallen apart when I needed to be held up together with glue." Her eyes were wide and filled with sadness and my heart constricted. Ugh this stupid girl makes me melt.
"I want you all to swear that you won't keep something of this measure or anything that pertains to one another—whoever it may be about—from me or anyone that is present here today." Eyes turned to scan each other, some guilty and some more determined. "Ignorance isn't bliss, especially when you only get a quarter of the story. You feel like a useless idiot."
Everyone turned to Carlisle, who smiled and pushed his hand through his hair.
"In everyone's favor, we all swear that this miscommunication will not happen again." I looked down at Bella who looked at me with innocent eyes.
"What?" She feigned confusion and I cocked a brow. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Fine, I swear, Edward." She turned back to everyone and grinned. "Thank you so much everyone, for your emotional support, that's all I could ever want or ask for from you." Emmett jetted from his spot and gathered her in his arms, crushing her against his chest as she tried to breathe air. He was still feeling guilty over not being there for her and I could hear him whispering his apologies. A tug at my arm called my attention and I saw it was Bella.
"So, you're with my cousin then?" It was more a rhetorical question because I could tell by the look in her eye that she knew the answer.
"Yes."
"I knew that you would be the only one to convince her to stay." She sighed. "You were the only thing that would make her stay."
"And here I thought you hated me." I joked and she cracked a smile.
"I did." She shrugged unashamed and I feigned hurt. She was so blunt. "But that's my job as a cousin. I'm supposed to hate everyone Bella hates and even though I knew she didn't really hate you, as long as she disliked you, I disliked you. Pretty simple math."
"You're a real odd ball."
"Trust me," She drawled. "You're not the first to tell me that. I really want you to make her happy Edward. She needs a sense of love that won't dissipate or abandon her." Her voice became more sullen. "Everything she loves vanishes so I know that deciding to stay with you took a lot of her willpower. She was scared to love anything because she was scared it would leave her or she would have to leave it."
"I have no intention of letting that woman slide from the tips of my fingers again." Alice glanced over her shoulder to look at Bella who was laughing with Rosalie and Emmett, her hand pressed against Rose's swollen bump. "Besides, she loves you Alice. She loves you a lot and you have never once left her side." She turned to look at me and blinked rapidly, as if absorbing the true meaning of my words. "I think she's scared to lose you just as much as she's scared to lose me."
"I have no intention of letting my stupid cousin be without me. That's why I've been with her for so long. She's like my sister."
"So then you're going to forgive her for leaving?"
"Eventually." She sighed and I rose an eyebrow.
"What do you mean eventually? What happened to that speech of "not letting her be without you," that you sprung about two seconds ago."
"I stand by it." She said with her arms crossed across her chest. "But that doesn't mean I can't let her suffer a little. She did, after all, piss me off with her crap the night she left." She winked at me with a sly smirk. "She has a strong character so she won't take too much offense in it."
"Speaking of characters, I see you and Jasper have been getting along famously." My voice was cool and collected and I saw from the corner of my eye her eyes widen and her face turn a pink hue.
"He's an excellent friend and doctor."
"Uh-huh," I clicked my tongue. "You're cousin is coming this way to talk to you so I'll leave you and your blushing face alone for the time being." She glared at me and I laughed. "I'll go see if Jasper turns the same shade of red as you."
"Edward!" She yelled and I walked away laughing as Bella passed me with a questioning look. I shook my head and kissed her cheek. Things felt a little more balanced then before.