Ch 21
Six was enjoying his well-deserved sleep when a loud explosion woke him up. Grabbing his rifle, he ran towards the noise, and saw a tank firing its main cannon at red base.
"What the hell is going on?" Six asked.
"Our base is in need of renovation. Figure I'd tear down the east wing, and put in something nice an decorative. Like a mortar cannon." Sarge said, in the cockpit of the tank.
"And it didn't occur to you to warn me?" Grif asked, appearing from behind the wall. Sarge just stared at Grif and pulled the trigger, sending another slug towards the wall.
"Direct hit, sir." Simmons said
"No it wasn't." Sarge said.
"We don't have tank, Sarge. Who gave it to you?" Six asks.
Just then, Wash came up, already having Six's answer.
"It was Caboose, wasn't it?" he deadpanned.
"Probably." Caboose said.
"Sarge, get out of the tank." Wash said.
"Nonsense, blue." Sarge said.
Six walked onto the tank and threw Sarge out.
"You damn dirty blue." Sarge said.
"I'm not in your army, Sarge. You can't do anything to me." Six said.
"I'd like to see you against the end of my shotgun!" Sarge said, racking the weapon.
"Done. Super soldier, bitch." Six said, assuming fighting stance. Sarge lowered his weapon and growled, fully knowing that he didn't stand a chance against the Spartan.
"Blue base is built directly underneath the crash site. You've got an unfair advantage." Sarge said.
"Sarge, we're not fighting anymore." Six said.
"We're just camped in opposite ends of the canyon in color divided teams. While heavily armed." Wash said.
"True, but have you ever considered that fighting is just in our nature? It's almost instinctual. If we don't fight, we'll surly die." Sarge said, trying to point out his much flawed and non-existent logic.
"Dear god, I hate you so much." Wash said.
"We may not be fighting, but you are closer to the food storage than we are. And that is something I will not stand for." Grif said.
"You'll probably eat all of it, Grif. And we'll have to kill you, and cannibalize your body. Not a happy prospect." Six said.
"Hey, I taste perfectly fine!" Grif said.
Six shook his head, wondering why he chose to stay with the sim troopers, instead of going with Carolina and Church. He then listened as the red talked about the condition of their base, which was made up of the remains of the ship the crashed while transporting them.
"But aren't slipspace engines supposed to be extremely radioactive?" Sarge asked.
"That explains why my hair keeps falling out. And why your cabbages have three heads." Grif said.
"Yeah, I'm sleeping outside." Six said, watching Simmons head back into the base, talking about a harvest in the upcoming fall.
The group headed inside when Sarge made an announcement.
"Men, it appears we're approaching this base thing in the wrong direction." Sarge said.
"I'm sleeping outside." Six said, and headed back out. Despite being with red team for a short amount of time, he already knew this was going to be a shit plan. Instead, he headed to blue base to talk to Wash.
"Hey, Wash. How's it going?" Six asks.
"Not good. Tucker is a dick, and Caboose has depression. How's it going on your end?" Wash asks.
"Even worse. Sarge has this crazy plan about the base. I know it's pure crap, so I'm not staying around. I'd rather stay outside than be involved with their shenanigans." Six said.
"So you're not on any team?" Wash asks.
"Correct. Right now, I'm just doing nothing. Man, I spent my entire life fighting enemies left and right. First, the covenant. Then the innies. Now, boredom. And that can't be solved by shooting it." Six said.
"Well, you should head back. If Sarge sees you over here, he'll flip." Wash said.
"There was never a red vs blue war to begin with. Are you sure Sarge wasn't recruited out of some asylum?" Six asked.
"That makes a lot of sense, considering Sarge." Wash said.
Six headed back to base, only to hear Simmons yelling.
"YOU FUCK!" He shouted, raising his rifle.
"What's wrong with you?" Grif asked, backing away.
"What's wrong with you?! You keep stacking dishes in the sink. I don't even think you've eaten off of some of them." Simmons said.
"Isn't that were they go?" Grif asked.
"No! They go in the cupboard!" Simmons retorted.
"We have a cupboard?" Grif asks.
"Hey, keep it down." Sarge said.
"Sarge, please tear down this wall." Simmons said.
"What wall? All I see are sandbags. Poorly stacked I might add." Six said.
"Hey Simmons, this might be a bad time, but we're out of toilet paper." Grif said.
"What? How?" Simmons asked.
"Alright. I'm out of here." Six said.
"I believe you borrowed my toolbox." Wash sternly said, approaching them.
"What do you need a toolbox for?" Simmons asked.
"I don't know. Maybe to repair the radio tower so we can get the fuck out of here. I thought you were the smart one, Simmons." Six said.
"The tool box." Wash said.
"Upstairs." Grif said.
"Show me." Wash said.
The two headed upstairs, and Six heard this conversation.
"It's a mess." Wash said.
"It's a way of life." Grif said.
"Are those my socks?" Wash noted.
"Yeah. You probably don't want them back." Grif said.
"Simmons, I'm going to have to stop you before your terrible plan becomes any more terrible." Sarge said.
Six left the base and headed to blue base.
"Six, what are you doing here?" Tucker asked.
"I'm defecting to blue team. I can't stand them anymore. Wash is the only one I can stand. And he's my friend, so that adds to it." Six said.
"I thought you didn't like blue team." Tucker said.
"No. I don't like you, Tucker." Six said, as he entered the base and found an extra room.