A/N: I do not claim the rights to any of the characters from the Southern Vampire Mysteries or True Blood. Read, review, && enjoy! ^-^
When I returned to Alcaeus three weeks ago, Rose and Amadeus had everyone gathered around, waiting for the moment that I stepped foot into the arena. I didn't have to be a psychic to know that what was before me was a fucking intervention.
Like I really need it? I laughed to myself.
"You're out of control." Rose began.
"How would you know that if you've never left this realm?" I rolled my eyes at her as I collapsed on the mat, folding my legs as I leaned back on my hands.
"I don't have to stand next to you to know that you reek of alcohol and sex." Rose shivered in disgust.
Three Weeks Ago:
Leaving Amy's wedding party the way that I did was childish of me.
Did I mention how rejection was a blow to my ego?
I couldn't face Cristiano after he had rejected me. I let down my guard for a few seconds, hoping maybe, just maybe that he felt the same. Turns out, he didn't.
Clearly...
But the strange thing was, rejection didn't hurt me as much as I thought it would. In fact, it just pissed me off, adding another name to my shit list.
Fuck it.
I couldn't pretend anymore. I wasn't the same girl. I could feel it deep within me and the new me was inching her way out. I was ready to embrace my wild side and wreak some havoc.
Embrace those shadows that's lurking within...starting with Vegas.
The woman from those orgy parties, whom I came to know as Ivory, became my new best friend. She introduced me to the many pleasures there were to offer. From fine wine to amazing animal sex (not literally) with as many gladiators as I wanted, even the purest drugs she could get her beautiful hands on.
Of course, all of it came with a few strings attached: she gets to watch anytime she wanted.
Fine by me.
I partied harder than a rock star. And fucked wildly like a porn star. But she treated me very much like a movie star. She dressed me in the finest of fabrics, the rarest jewels, and even the finest makeup money could buy.
"Would you like to join me in tonight's game?" she grinned. "Your favorite warrior will be fighting one of the fierce shifters we had since Quinn."
When she say, favorite warrior, she means Zander.
Have you ever had a one night stand that turned into more than just one night? The sexual chemistry between the two of you was so intense, the need to feel one another was more important than eating or even drinking. In fact, the only appetite you have is lust for one another?
Well, that's what sort of happened in my case. Of course it didn't help the fact that majority of the time I was with him, I was either intoxicated or high as a kite on a windy day.
And enjoying the many pleasures this new life has to offer. I thought to myself. At least for the first week.
Suddenly, I began to withdraw every now and then from the drugs because I hated the side effects.
I'll admit, the cocaine and ice (crystal meth) help intensify pleasure but it also came with a down side. I became paranoid and constantly moving and twitching.
Even my visions were out of whacked!
At one point, I lost control and sent fire streaming across the room, nearly burning a hole in the wall.
That moment was a wake up call for me.
I was loving the fact that I could take risks and not regret it.
But was it really worth it?
Losing control, even for a moment, risked myself to exposure. A risk that I wasn't ready to take.
Nope. I answered my own question.
Not long after, I slowly stopped drinking as well.
It didn't only impair my judgement but it also sent my conscience on vacation.
That was when I realized I was still yearning for him between my legs even without drugs or alcohol.
And here I thought it was because of the use of substances, that's what increased the temptation.
He's been the best I've ever had and every time I think of him, I get soaked and wet. It was ridiculous! I know initially it was only suppose to be sex, but I have to admit, its right down addicting.
At one point, I tried to rationalize what this was and sort of came to the conclusion that it was simply because of the wet dreams I was having of Eric. I mean, no matter how much times I fucked, I still wanted Eric. The more I hated him, the more dreams I would have of him.
Fucked up right?
Well, here's the kicker, Zander was now in my dreams along side Eric. So having those dreams now weren't that bad anymore. In fact, I began to really enjoy it.
And I have to say, the thought of having sex with Zander (who is awesome) and with Eric (who is just as amazing in my dream, if not better) well, that's one hell of a wet dream. One that I don't mind having.
I would put that on replay. I thought to myself one morning as I awoke from one of those dreams. But sadly, its just a dream.
On the other hand, having Zander at my disposal was living out half of my fantasy. And when I fucked him in front of an audience, watching Eric as I did sort of topped it off.
Bite on that mother fucker.
I shrugged, "You know I cant stand the sight of that."
"Please? Just this once?" she begged as she gripped my hands. "Zander performs much better after a good fuck. And since you have such an effect on him, maybe seeing you there will ensure his win…" she smiled at me, "…you're his good luck charm."
"I can meet with him before he goes out tonight." I suggested.
I've been strung out for nearly two weeks straight. I needed a breather and now that I'm sober, I doubt I could hold myself together during such a torturous event.
I may not have deep feelings for the guy, but I'm not entirely heartless. I can watch wrestling or boxing. But majority of these fights usually ends in death. That is the highlight of the evening for the guests. Then the climax is, of course, the orgy parties.
Kinky, I know...
She sighed dramatically as she released my hands and reached for her glass of wine. "Ivana, darling…"
I closed my eyes for a second, "What shall I wear tonight?" I asked, giving in.
I had the servants bring Zander in during my bath.
What I loved about this mansion was how ancient the surroundings were. I understood that Felipe owned this estate and that he liked to keep some things old school. But being here, right now, in what most would consider a toddler pool, was like stepping back into the Roman times.
"You called for me?" I heard his voice from behind me.
I stood up and slowly turned around, letting the rose water drip as I nodded. "I did."
The servants closed the doors behind him.
"I understand that you must fight tonight."
He was standing in the shadows, but I could feel him watching me. "Its nothing."
I motioned for him to join me. "Come…" I said softly. At first, he hesitated. Then he stepped into the light and that's when I saw his face. "Oh my god, what the hell happened to you?" I partially panicked as I walked over to him as fast as I could.
"This is what I do. I fight for a living." he said, sounding slightly bitter.
I brushed my knuckles barely over the deep cut on his right cheek bone. "You didn't have this last night."
He frowned, "Can we be honest with one another?" I let my hand drop to my side and just nodded. "You want me in your bed every night, waking up next to you every morning…"
"Its not what you-"
"Is it to get back at him? At Dominic?" he asked.
That was when I realized who had done this to him. It wasn't a fight in the arena. It was a fight between him and Dominic.
The question is, how did it begin?
"Did you get into a fight with him?" I asked him already knowing the answer.
"Its the opposite, but yes, in general." he gritted his teeth. "You two were once lovers?"
I rolled my eyes, "Ages ago…"
"So this is to get back at him isn't it?"
Fuck…
"I'll be honest with you, that first night with you was to get back at him." he shook his head as he stepped back. I closed the gap he created and grabbed his hand, "But since I'm being honest, you should know that halfway into it, I sort of got lost with you." I practically begged for his understanding.
"I know."
"I know that what we have between us isn't love, but our chemistry is what keeps you in my bed at night." Well, that and the fact that he continues to win every other night. I thought to myself as I gripped his hand, placing it between my legs. "I need to feel you here. I know you want the same." he nodded. "Dominic has nothing to do with you being here right now. At first, yes-"
Without another word, his mouth came crashing onto mines as he picked me up, carrying me back into the rose water.
"I didn't bring a condom this time…" I informed him right before he was about to enter me.
He grunted, "I'll pull out…" he nodded as he bent his head toward mine, "…don't worry."
"If your favorite warrior wins tonight, he has a choice to leave." Ivory informed me as we watched the men fighting before us.
"What do you mean, a choice?" I asked, glancing up at her and then back at Dominic and another male, battling it out.
"He came to us. His contract was only for fifteen months."
"They can do that?" now she had my full attention.
"What we pay is worth it." she smiled, "That's what keeps them coming back."
I frowned as I turned back to Dominic. "What about them? Will they ever be able to leave?"
She placed her hand on my lap and sighed. "Lets take him for example, Dominic." she began. "He is here to serve out his punishment. But if he wins a hundred fights in a row, he earns his freedom."
"How many has he won so far?" I asked hopeful.
"Six. If he wins this one, it will be seven."
I felt somewhat nauseous. I stood up and walked out into the hall. I had to breathe.
"Is it true?"
I turned to see Anita. "Is what true?"
"You're playing house with Zander?" she whispered.
I laughed, "We're not playing house."
"Rumor has it, he's planning on losing…"
I braced myself against the wall. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"You're playing with fire and now it will cost someone their life."
"He wouldn't do that." I laughed in her face. "Why would he do that?"
She placed her hands on her hips and stared at me. "Think about it."
No way…how could he have feelings for me? I was a train wreck.
"Where is he?"
"Its too late." she grunted. "I suggest you leave after tonight. You're just making things harder for everyone." I began walking as fast as I could down the hall. "Its too late! He's next!"
I stopped in my tracks and froze.
What the fuck am I suppose to do now?
Dominic's POV:
Why the fuck is she still here?
Isabelle showed up several weeks ago with an agenda to torture me in any way she knew how. It was jaw breaking to see her all drugged out and drunk majority of the time she was in my presence. But then to throw herself at a man that I believed was a friend? She cant even begin to realize how much this hurts.
I tried to take out my anger on my opponents in the ring and it helped, slightly. But every morning that I wake, I see him. I can smell him. The scent of her stained upon his skin is more than I can handle. Its to the point where I want to gut him like a pig.
He lives like a pig, he should smell like one too!
When you live in a place like this, surrounded by men, and bathing is a luxury, the scent of a woman, any woman…it's like Christmas morning to your nostrils. You can sift out the difference. But the scent of sex is the strongest.
She's fucking with my head…
I guess at one point I do deserve everything she dishes out to me for hurting her the way that I did. I could've picked at anything, but I chose the sour subject of our daughter.
Fucking idiot.
I may not have seen her, or held her, or even smelled her. But I knew what the loss of a loved one can do to a person. I didn't only see it for myself, I also experienced it.
It was wrong of me to assume that giving up our daughter was a 'small' sacrifice. I should've known better…
"Zander…" I heard one of the men say. I could hear the grin on his face. "…whipping that pussy? Or is that pussy whipping you?"
I growled, "Shut the fuck up!" I bellowed.
I was at my breaking point already. I could feel the earth beneath me move.
"Whoa, what is your problem?"
"Hey…" Zander placed his hand on my shoulder, "…cool it man. You know…"
The scent of Isabelle on his skin drowned out his words.
I closed my eyes, envisioning the first night with her.
"Since I don't have the pleasure of knowing your name, the least I could do was give you a ride home."
She bit her bottom lip and smiled, "Thank you. But that really isn't necessary."
She took a deep breath before walking over to me.
Damn she is beautiful…
With her right hand, she placed it behind my neck and pulled me down to her, kissing me passionately. Warm, hungry kisses. Without warning, my arms found their way around her waist, pulling her up against me.
I wanted her…again.
Suddenly, she pulled away and whispered in my ear, "Bella." And just like that, she walked out without turning around.
And before I knew it, my fists swung straight up into his nose. Seconds later, my right hook collided with his face.
Zander quickly recovered and began throwing fists, missing with his first hit but striking goal with the second and third as it collided with my ribs, cracking slightly underneath my skin.
I winced but continued to fight him. I didn't care if I win or lose. It wasn't about that, I just wanted to hit him as many times as I could before the guards broke us up.
"What the fuck is going on in here?" was all we heard before hearing the sound of the whip, then feeling it around my neck.
"Have you lost your mind?" Zander screamed as his fists collided with the stone wall.
I knew for a fact that was painful because I've done it several times. Breaking my hand in three places the very last time.
But he is a wolf, he heals quickly…
"Is she doing this to get to me?" I asked him in an icy tone. "Or is this apart of both your plans? Fuck her and pretend to be my friend!"
He frowned, "What? Who?"
"The woman you refer to as Ivana!" I shouted loud enough to hear my voice echo the halls.
For a moment he stood there, gripping the bars as he stared at me, "Why would she want to hurt you? Who are you to her?"
I knew he was a fool when it came to women. I just didn't know he was blind as well. How he missed the icy grins she flashed me every now and then, is beside me.
"You're kidding right? Surely you must know, maybe scented me on her…"
"Ivana? Is that-"
"Yes, her! She was mine! She loves me, I know she does. Otherwise why would she risk coming here?"
His eyes fell to the floor. "So she's using me?"
"To get to me?" I laughed. "Probably." I shook my head, "Don't feel so bad, she has that kind of hold on men." But the look on his face told me otherwise. "Don't tell me you love her." I waited for his response, but he remained silent.
What an idiot!
Isabelle's POV:
I took my seat next to Ivory and tried to act as if I didn't know what was about to happen in a matter of minutes. I gripped my hands within my lap and sat at the edge of my seat, waiting.
The iron gates lifted, releasing a very naked man.
"What is this?" I turned to Ivory who grinned widely.
"Just watch."
I turned back to the arena and watched carefully. As the iron gate lifted opposite of the naked man, Zander emerged just as naked.
What the fuck kind of game is this?
Zander began working the crowd as he circled the arena. The crowd cheered and roared as he got closer to them. Then he stopped just below me.
I watched him with pleading eyes, hoping he will see how much I cared for him. But he just clenched his jaw as he stared up at me, saluting me before taking his place opposite his opponent.
I tried to find Anita in the crowd, but that was harder than trying to find Waldo.
In here, everyone wore similar clothing, not really differing one from the other.
Shit!
Suddenly, I heard snapping and turned back to Zander in time to see him transform into a…wolf?
Oh my god!
Opposite of him wasn't another wolf, it was a black panther.
That is so not fair!
Their movements were so fast, I was having a hard time keeping up with them. Watching this fight was like watching a dog fight.
Not that I've been to any, of course.
I covered my eyes every time I heard a yelp or a howl. It was disturbing.
"Oh no…" I heard Ivory gasp.
I looked up and saw something fly in the air, landing with a loud thump at the foot of the gate.
I stood up and gripped the railing. Waiting with anticipation for the cloud of dust to rest.
Zander…
Slowly, he began to change back into his human form.
"Get up!" Ivory's scream echoed the room as the crowd grew silent.
The panther crouched a few feet away, changing back as well. He straightened up and walked slowly over to Zander's body, lifting him by his neck then tossing him across the arena.
Off from the side, someone tossed the panther guy a knife. He caught it in midair and pumped his fists into the air, trying to get the crowd roaring once again.
"No…" I whispered. Double fudge…"Zander!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
I was at the point where I was willing to risk my true identity to save his ass.
"Don't even think it." I heard his deep voice warn me as he placed his hand on my shoulder.
Eric.
Just as I was about to lose hope, Zander rose and with one final move, he beheaded the man before us all.
Eric slowly pulled me into his arms and lead me out of there.
"I suggest you leave."
"But-"
"He survived." he bent his head towards mine, "And what you feel for him isn't love…its guilt."
Damn his blood!
Present:
I grunted, "Oh my god, are you seriously judging me right now?" I looked around and found that the room was beginning to spin. I quickly closed my eyes and pushed the nausea back down. "I don't need this, not from any of you!" I exclaimed.
"Here we go again…" I heard Jo snicker. "I wonder who she reminds me of."
"Maybe Cristiano's demon attached himself to her. Is this why she's acting out the way she is?" Lorraine asked sympathetically. "Is it possible?"
I scoffed, "You don't know me. You don't know what I've been through!"
Jo stepped forward, arms crossed. "Oh but Isabelle, I do know you. You're were this sweet, fragile woman. But underneath that mask hid this trampy drunk who finally hit rock bottom."
"Jo, keep your rude comments to yourself! We're trying to help her!" Amadeus said angrily.
I couldn't believe him! He had the nerve to say this? In front of me?
"Bullshit! You couldn't wait until I left! All of you was just sitting around, waiting!" I stood up slowly, trying to maintain balance as I did this. "From the very beginning no one wanted me here. I stayed here less than forty eight hours and no one came running to New York after us." I scoffed at them as I stared them down. "Even when Cristiano returned, asking for help, did any one of you get off your fat asses and come to the rescue?" I shouted more angry now. When Rose was about to say something, I flipped her off. "Oh, don't even try to defend your sorry selves now!" I laughed wickedly as I shook my head in disgust. "That vampire that went around terrorizing may have been an old friend of mine but that was no reason to turn your backs on him. If it wasn't for me, I don't know where he would be."
Jo rushed towards me but Amadeus was too fast for her, he quickly gripped her by her arms.
"You're right! It is because of you! You're the reason he went there in the first place!" she screamed at me, her eyes bulging.
"Oh shut the fuck up you jealous bitch!" she asked for it, now she's going to get it. "You're standing behind the glass looking in. If you had the balls, you would go and get what you want, but you don't! So lay off of me because you think I want something you've yearned for since who knows when!" I continued my wicked cackle. "I fucked many times but honey, none of them included Cristiano…" I smiled. "…but just to prove to you how much of a bitch I can be, I will. I will fuck him into the twilight…just…for…you!"
I may have been pissed off, but I didn't really mean that. Not entirely. I just said that to piss her off. And it worked.
"Don't come back." she warned me.
"Oh, don't you worry about that. I'm done with this place. With all of you!" I screamed, slamming the doors behind me.
A Week Later:
I had to go home to my dad to remember who I was. I've been straying away from all that I've known ever since that night I found Ryan with Lily. Its been a downhill battle ever since.
I thought that this was who I wanted to be, a bitchy vengeful sour patch witch. But then I realized using drugs and alcohol for comfort didn't change a damn thing. It just made things harder for me.
However, I don't regret seeking revenge.
Being a good girl didn't seem so bad anymore, but like hell was I going back. No more will I let anyone walk all over me. I may not like who I was or what I was becoming, but in order to grow, I needed to make mistakes.
And I think I made enough to know better this time...maybe.
I started by going through all of my things and throwing out anything that reminded me of Lily. I even cut her out most of my pictures as well. I wasn't sure if we could ever be friends again.
I mean, she did try to kill me.
Being here, in my room, took me back to a time and a place that I would love to go back to. This was where I had my slumber parties with my small circle of girl friends. This was where I talked on the phone with Amy and Lily for hours about anything and everything. This was where I even got ready for prom.
And the most recent moment spent in my room was when Ryan stayed the weekend here with me, getting to know my dad. Of course he had to sneak in after my dad went to sleep, but still it was a memory I couldn't forget no matter how much I tried.
A twin size bed was never made for two grown people.
I sighed as I pulled out Elena's ultrasound photo and placed it behind a photo of my grandmother and me when I was nine, Christmas morning.
"You deserve a place in here as well." I whispered to her as I placed the picture frame next to my bed.
"Bella, I do hope you're here to stay." my dad told me when he saw my bags packed. "I missed you and its been nice to have you home again."
I smiled, "I would love to dad, but I'm not a little girl anymore. I need to live my life and let you live yours."
He nodded, "I don't know what you've been through these past couple of years, I'm sure one day you will open up to me, but until then, know that I'm always here." he smiled. "Your room will always be your room."
I kissed his cheek, "I know dad and this is exactly what I needed. I'm coming back. I don't know for how long, but I'll be back." That brought a smile to his face. "But I have to get going, Amy is throwing some kind of banquet in two days."
He laughed, "Right! I almost forgot!"
"I wish you could be my date, but I wont hold that against you." I smiled. "And I'll make sure to drag Amy back here for Thanksgiving. Mrs. Stone is making her famous feast."
He cleared his throat, "You mean she's hiring a famous chef to cook that famous feast."
I shook my head at him, "I would hire a chef too. Cooking for a large crowd must be time consuming."
"Yeah, yeah." he chuckled softly. "What time is your flight?" he asked as he grabbed him a bottle water from the fridge.
"Not for another four hours." I pulled out a DVD copy of Beauty and the Beast. "So I figured we could watch this until then."
He choked on his water as he laughed. "Bella, you know I always fall asleep every time."
I smiled, "Then it would be just like old times. My head on your shoulder while you're snoring through the entire movie."
He watched me for a moment longer before sighing, "Let me change my clothes."
My dad drove me to the airport. "You be careful now. And give Amy and her new husband my wishes."
I kissed his cheek, "I'll give them a hug and a kiss as well." I told him as I grabbed the handle to my carry on suit case.
"Bella…" he whispered.
I turned back toward him, "Yeah daddy?"
He smiled, "You will let me walk you down the isle right?"
I grunted, "Oh my gosh dad, you don't even have to ask me that question."
But I knew what he meant by it. He wanted to know if he will still be alive when I finally get married. Or maybe, if I get married.
"Okay. Have a safe flight and call me the moment your plane lands."
I waved to him as I placed my carry on onto the belt, "I will. Drive home safely!" I shouted as I watched him turn around and leave.
Will I ever get married?