THEMESONGS:

Untitled ~ Simple Plan

Killer Queen ~ Queen

Epilogue

I slumped down on my bed, only just after stowing my seraph blade and new cloak in my closet.

I stared up at the ceiling, in a mix of emotions as to how I should and was supposed to be feeling.

Then I turned over at my side, looking at my navy blue Acer laptop sitting on my beanbag were I'd just left it. I flipped open the screen to see that my program was still running.

Yup, only gone for what seemed like five minutes in this world, yet it felt like a lifetime elsewhere.

I waited for my Word Document to load, pulling up my novel. I saved it, and then closed out as I clicked to open a new page. And then, I began to type.

Feelings are difficult things to describe, but there are those like guilt and inadequacy that I always find the most difficult.

The guilt you feel as you take a life, and the inadequacy that it was not truly your life to take. More so, it belonged to the Higher Power, if even such a thing existed. Maybe that was my purpose, to be a pawn of the Higher Power, and take lives as if they were nothing more than things owned.

And now as I sit, staring blankly at all of the tools of my trade, many a thing I'd used in my craft, quite happily in some instances, I feel nothing but the inadequacy that should never be felt. Ever.

The feeling of being nothing, feeling nothing, having nothing. Nothing except the anguished cries, the money thrown at you for your service, the hollow question out of your mouth if they want it slow or quick, the feeling of blood pouring down your fingertips or a final breath caressing your face.

And now, with my knife, I will take this life. This life filled with inadequacy of longing and guilt of my sins. All I can hope is if there is a Higher Power, they will explain to me as to why they wished for my destiny to be as it is.

I simply saved it, not even bothering to give it a name. It was untitled and depressing, which was exactly how my life felt at this exact moment.

I turned over when I saw my dog barking at me from the door. Deep brown eyes looking at me so carefully.

I smiled.

"Have I got a story for you." I told him, and lurched up from my bed and walked with him to the kitchen.