Forbidden

XxX

Chapter 21

She froze right on the spot.

She couldn't move. Couldn't even flinch, or blink.

It felt like her whole bloodstream stopped. Every, single, little drop of it. And the only thing she could hear was her own heartbeat beating into her eardrums with a sickening rhythm. Her stomach was twitching in circles, and her knees shivering as if her weight was too heavy to hold. It felt like all the air together would not be enough to fill her lungs, and she suddenly felt the need to gasp, only that she couldn't force herself to do it. Her mouth remained into a state where it was slightly tilted apart.

She was hyperventilating. And the only reason was him. Him, the tall, pale silhouette standing in the middle of the battleground, and keeping her eyes into his grey.

No. They were silver now. Not longer dark. They were fragile, full om emotions, and Merlin, still so empty and hard to read.

He was like a diary. Yes, a diary. The notebook where all young girls writes down their lifes. Good moments, where your soul is ready to jump among the clouds. Heavy, heartshattering moments, where the only thing that seemes to make sense is tears and blood. Open and accessible, and yet so hard and forbidden to understand and read. Impossible.

Godric. He had even made her forget everything about the kiss.

The only thing that she could think about was him.

Him, him, him.

She had imagined him so many times in her dreams. Imagined their encounter, imagined how everything would be, the things she would say. The conversation, the actions. She had it all planned out in details. And here they were. The encouter was there. He was there, some meters were separating them. But she couldn't do a single thing. The whole plan had fallen out from her memory, and she couldn't do anything else than to gaze at him like a stupid teenage girl falling in love for a second time.

Only that she had never stopped loving him. Never had the privilege to stop loving him.

'' Hermione?''

She could feel how he was analyzing her the way she had analyzed him some seconds ago. And it was creating goosebumps over her body. He was studying her, searching for anything that had changed past the months, that he had never seen before. The small seconds that had passed felt like years, and for a moment she considered the possibility of multiple universes. His face had already changed into something like a frown, and she could see that he had some difficulties with his breathing. Were the things she felt mutual, or was she at her own?

She was probably at her own, she decided, beginning to nibble at her lower lip to stop the tears from falling.

He hated her now. She was certain of it. Hated her for leaving him alone to suffer, for breaking all of her promises even though he never accepted them, hated her for blaiming him. Didn't he? She couldn't spot any hate in his eyes, but she knew it. He wanted her dead, or worse, tortured, and would never forgive her. This wasn't a thing that could be forgiven. Denial was so much stronger than any sort of conflict. She had crushed him apart, and such a thing was never accepted.

'' 'Mione?'', an uncertain voice repeated.

She managed to get out a whimper only from the thought of it. Her heart stung when she realized the impossible.

He was lost for her. She had lost him. And again, she reminded herself that it was all because of a mark.

She had paid the highest price, only to lose the best thing she probably had the oppourtunity to have.

But their contact was suddenly interrupted. The fire that suddenly flashed in front of her eyes snapped her out of the trance. There were several shouts across the Burrow again, and all the faces were directed against the flaming Burrow. Exlopsions broke into the sky, and the whole building was on fire. It was caught in thick, orange flames, that were climbing up the building and towards the sky. A hissing sound of burning furniture and belongings were now replacing all the sounds, and Hermione saw how the windowpane was falling downwards the left side of it. The silhouette of Bellatriz was jumping with victory in front of it.

She could feel how someone had grabbed her hand, and squashing it tightly from the side, and she slowly turned her head to see how Ron's wet, blue eyes were reflecting the view of the flames. She felt how he was shattering into pieces. His aw was tightened together, his teeth clenching, and his temporals moving from anger and frustration. She wanted to help. Comfort him, help.

But she knew she couldn't. There was no way to comfort this. No way to make things easier. Only survive. Do everything to help surviving.

'' Silence!''

The loud sobs and screams stopped from the hissing sound, and then Hermione found herself facing her biggest fear. Or perhaps, it was more than just her biggest fear. It was much more. This feeling was all consuming. It was ripping her soul like a thousand of knifes were cast into her, ripping her apart, every fiber of her. She wanted it to go away, but she couldn't. All she could do was to clench her hand into Ron's like he had done to hers, and watch how everything was falling apart.

A white figure dressed in a robe black as coal was standing in front of the burning building with a grin on his face. There were others standing behind him, but most of his army were placed around among their victims.

Tonight's victims.

" Bring him forward.", Voldemort commanded.

With the periphery, she could see how a pair of Death Eater's were nearing the master with determinate steps. But they weren't the only ones nearing him. They were holding into something with tight, protecting hands. Was it another dead Death Eater? No. The person didn't wear the sort of clothing that all of them wore. No black robes. The person wore a formal costume. A grey smoking, blood- covered in the area somewhere near the chest. The person's head hung down, and all she could see was the black hair.

Black hair, grey smoking, and a pair of glasses hanging loosely down his nose.

It couldn't be...

'' No!'', someone screamed from behind.

And then the panick was restored. Wrapped up again.

Neville called out. Then she could hear how Luna shouted. Then Ron started turbulencing against her hand, screaming with such a force that she flinched backwards. And then she felt that this was the thing she needed, the push, and her own scream tore out of her throat. She was releasing all the emotions and frustrations that she had not been able to release for a while, and this was the bomb that had been tearing her apart, that was ticking and waiting to be released. Her jaw suddenly had the possibility to move, and all she could do was scream, command Harry to stand up, and shake as if she was being tortured.

Another sound broke out, and she could see how Ginny was running towards the body that the pair was holding, but was shot back by a spell that Voldemort cast.

'' Silence!''

George ran forward to throw a fastening hand around her waist, and she was trembling against his hand like a ragdoll, falling down to her knees and screaming out a row of vowals.

'' Silence, I said!'', Voldemort demanded viciously, as he cast another spell up into the air. He gave the young Weasley a harsh scowl. '' Stupid, little, girl. Do you honestly believe you could save your little lover?''

It took some time for Hermione to re- confirm the happenings. Restore the changes that had happened from a calm dinner, to holocaust.

Voldemort had begun to pet his wand down the lenght of it, laughing silently for himself. The grin, however, was showing pretty well, and Hermione stumbled backwards only from the sight of it.

" I will have the pleasure to inform you that the Headmaster of Hogwarts is no longer among the living.''

Dumbledore? It couldn't be...

'' What?'', Ron whispered out, apparently as confused as she was. There were shouts again, but they were all hushed by the silencing spell that had been cast. But the fear was still there. The faces, the shock. Everything was there, hanging over them like a heavy iron made of the heaviest steel, ready to fall down.

The Lord was walking in circles, laughing silently for himself. It seemed like what he was about to say humoured him, but Hermione couldn't say the same for her. She wanted to cry. Cry. Really cry. Cry her eyes out until she was no longer able to feel. Feel nothing.

'' This is a revolution, my dear friends. A huge revolution for the whole Wizarding community.'', he announced as he stopped to take a look at the crowd in front of him.

'' Revolution my arse.'', Fred murmured angrily beside Hermione, as he watched his family in the front with worried eyes.

Voldemort seemed to notice it, however, and snapped his eyes towards the Weasley twin. '' Ah, another, bloody Weasley. That is... interesting. You are everywhere, aren't you?''

'' Depends on what you mean by everywhere.'', Fred hissed back, staring so hard that the intensity of the stare could kill.

Voldemort cocked his head to the side, while staring back at the young wizard. '' Ah, so there is something called Gryffindor courage. My apologies, I never believed so.''

Fred took a menacing step forward, while pointing a shaking finger towards the blood covered Harry. '' You are right. There is something called Gryffindor courage, and that's what Harry is provided with.'' He paused to search for the right words, and Hermione thought she saw how Harry moved his head. '' While you... you Slytherin, you need a whole army to catch him in your arms. You can't even deal with your enemies by yourself!''

Bellatrix threw out a laugh, followed by the rest of Voldemort's sympathizers.

'' Stupid blood traitor.'', he sniffed out, raising his wand.

But the wand was not directed towards Fred. No. Voldemort had turned his attention to the couple beside Fred holding hands, clunging into each other to seek comfort and defense against everything around them. Ron held Hermione's hand even tighter as he noticed it, clenching her hand together. She could almost feel how her knuckles touched, and bit her inner cheek so that she would not whimper.

Voldemort's laugh was now malicious, and Hermione could feel it re-vibrate in her toes. Ron took a couragely step forward, but Hermione held him back. Better said, she didn't hold back, but she was too paralyzed to move. She had turned her attention to something else. Isolated herself from the current happenings. Isolated herself into someone else. And now she wished she had not.

The measure of hurt in the eyes of the Death Eater was more than she could handle. Oh, it was so very obvious that she thought even Luna would have noticed if she would look in his direction.

They would have also noticed how his head sunk downwards, and how his cheekbones had gotten straightened. How the black shadows under his eyes got even darker, how his shoulders sunk in defeat, and how his fists were clenched as his sides as he stared through the witches soul.

But no one was looking in his direction.

Voldemort lowered his wand with a sigh, staring into Ron's skull with the sort of scowl that made Hermione feel like she was nothing but a meaningsless ant. '' Ladies and gentlemen, there will be no more... Mudbloods among our wizarding community. From this day, everything is going to be pure. The other sort of you will have to leave us and never come back, or face the consequences. And believe me, the consequences are... not any comfortable.''

Something in Draco's eyes twitched with the mention of Mudbloods and ''never come back''. Hermione felt a lump in her throat from the way he was saying this, but forced herself not to react. He was saying this with such a determination and pride, that it actually made her leave the same second. But she stayed put. She was Granger, the witch that had battled the evil spirits since the age of eleven, and she was not going to give up now. At least she was going to die with a good conscience.

An eerie silence was following. Too eerie, actually. There was nothing that seemed to catch her ears but the constant laugh of Voldemort, and she knew that the following of this silence was one thing. It meant...

'' RUN!''

All the sounds that she could hear, were screams of terror.

Hermione snapped her wrist out of Ron's hand in a reflex, as she watched the whole crowd gallop away like a herd of terrified horses in all directions. A thousands of feet were stamping the ground, and the most of the wizards had disappeared within seconds. She could hear a loud, creaking sound, the sort of sound like many could describe like a dying whale, and looked up on the burning building to notice how the construction was slowly bending forward.

The circulation she had regain was slipping away from her again.

The whole thing was a chaos, and Hermione wasn't of the sort to think clear in chaos. She hated chaos. It made her lose her ability to breathe. She couldn't even force herself to run, because horror was holding her back. It felt like someone had gripped her legs from the ground, two tight hands, and refused to let go off her. She was stuggling to force herself running, but the only thing she could was to watch how the death came closer.

She had clutched her eyes closed, just accepting the fact that it was over. At least for her.

Sometimes you just realize that there is no chances. There is no ways to avoid the inevitable.

Hermione crossed her arms in front of her face when she felt how the light was too bright for her eyes, and took a last inhale. But just then she realized that someone was frantically pulling her. A cold hand, that was partially covering her wrist tightly. Her feet followed, breaking loose from the thing that held her back, and automatically sprinted in an unknown direction.

They were sprinting with such a speed that Hermione didn't know she was even capable of. This wasn't the speed she had used when they had been running the yearly Hogwarts- Hogsmeade maraton.

No.

Even her high heels didn't stop her. It all felt totally surreal, and still, it happened. Maybe miracles excisted, through all.

She could hear how there was a large boom behind her, and knew that the whole house, the plae that she could safely call her own ''home'' had fallen down on the ground. Collapsed together into nothing more than a burning bunch of mass turning into black dust.

And just then, as suddenly as they had started sprinting, they stopped, and Hermione got the first oppourtunity to take a look at her savior. Her eyelids fluttered open, and when she saw the image in front of her, she was breathless. Her teeth were rattling together from the emotions she was feeling.

'' Y- You?'', she managed to get out, making this simple pronoun sound like a curse word.

Of all the things, all the things, she just said ''you''?

Apparently.

She could now be branded as the biggest idiot of this century.

The blonde wizard spun on his heel and simply started walking towards the fields, away from all the chaos. '' We don't have any time now, Granger.''

She was frustrated. They had not seen each other in.. how many months? And this was what he chose to say?

This was unfair. She was shivering and turbulencing from all the emotions she was feeling right now, but the boy didn't even give a small indication to do any of the things. It was like the rescue never happened. As if nothing had ever happened, as if everything was just an imagination in her head. He didn't even seem to be worried or concerned about anything. Not the slightest. Not even after all the things that had happened. In front of him.

But then she remembered. This was rational for a Malfoy. This was common. He was Draco Malfoy, the creature without logic and common sense, living on a set of his own rules, controlling his own emotions as if it was a simple video game, and was more than capable to hide them all from the rest of the world. Through all, he had done so towards her. For almost seven years.

'' Don't you dare turning your back to me, Malfoy.", she hissed, taking another step with her shivering knees. She could already feel how her heels have gotten unsteady, and struggled to keep her balance.

He stopped. " What do you suggest me to do, then?"

His back was still the only thing that he allowed her to see, and it annoyed her that he acted like this. So... composed. Not the slightest piece of a growing Malfoy rage, like she'd expected. Not the slightest piece of jealousy from Ron and her holding hands, not any of the hurt that she had seen when their eyes met each other the second he noticed. Not a shivering nerve that could tell that he still cared. Nothing. And it was really testing her.

She wanted him to fight for her. She knew very well that this was much to beg for, but she wanted him to fight like the selfish Death Eater he was. Fight, and win for every price.

" Face me.", she demanded, letting a breath in through her teeth. She knew it was foolish to clear up her own problems during this catastrophe, but maybe they wouldn't have any other chances. Maybe this was their last chance to get a closure.

" You haven't changed. Still the same, old Granger, trying to keep your control over everything. An inner leader." She could almost see how he smirked, and felt how it burned inside her throat. Damn, how she had missed him.

But she forced herself to adjust herself to their current situation. Tried to keep bitter. " Face me, damn you!"

For a moment it seemed like he would walk away, but he slowly turned around, just as she had asked him to. He didn't do anything more to annoy her or drive her insane. He knew she needed it. She knew that he knew. And for the first time, she could finally get a close look at his features.

She gasped for air to clear up her throat, trying to make it look casually. She wanted to yell at him, demand things that she had no right to know, slap him across the face and chest until she could feel how his skin was burning under her palm, but again she was lost. Her eyes examined his whole face plenty of times to pull herself together, but she couldn't force herself to talk. Instead, she took two, faltering steps and looked him right in the eyes. Her hand stretched out to touch the scar over his eyebrow, and she could feel him back under her fingertips.

" Don't."

His breathing was heavy, and she knew he was denying her so that he could still keep away from the temptation to touch her. The temptation that she was too weak to resist. Through all, she was still just a fragile, little girl who had fallen in love. The young girl that was heartbroken, and whos heart could not be healed.

" Fine.", she said, as deadpanned as she could manage, and took a step back to give him some space.

It took some seconds before he spoke again. " Right", he sighed calmly, turning away. " Let's get you somewhere safe."

" What? I- I don't need any safety."

She could feel like scowl. " Granger, let's not be stubborn. We both know that it will be best for you to keep away."

He was so... so calm about this all. She didn't like it. She didn't want him to be calm like that. It wasn't normal. Especially not for him. She wanted to recognize him in the body of the familiar man, but the pieces just didn't fit. He had become so... reasonable. Adult. And it scared her.

" Keep away?" She threw out a nervous laugh despise herself. " Are you serious? You are asking me to keep away when my best friend is hanging half alive in the hands of my enemy, and my other friends are in trouble-"

" They are purebloods and halfbloods.", he growled, grabbing her by her forearm again. He wretched it behind her back, and pulled her close enough for her to feel his hot breath somewhere in her neck. She threw out a whimper of surrender. She realized that he still had the ability to make her shiver when he was annoyed and too close. " This is not some kind of joke, Granger. Our dear Lord have decided to take what he wants to take, and nothing less than that. And to him, you Mudbloods, are like blood to vampires. Sweet and good tasting, helpless in his eyes. Do you understand?"

" No.", she winced out, trying to free herself from the tight grip, but it was useless as always. She whimpered again. " If this is your way to show that you care, than I will inform you that you are doing a terrible job."

He raised an eyebrow. " Who told you that I cared about you?"

His answer confused her brain, but her mouth, however, seemed to know what it was doing. " Well, if I'm right, than I may tell you that you were the one pulling me away when the whole construction-"

He snorted. " That's a ridiculous argument! Do you honestly believe that I would let anyone stand there? What I did doesn't give you any right to think that I care about-"

She instantly nodded. " You would not save Ron, or Luna. Or Neville-"

" Who said that I wouldn't save them?", he asked in a hissing voice, eyes narrowed.

" You would never save someone who means nothing to you.", she retorted, raising her chin in defense,

His voice got louder. " Shut yourself, Granger. Don't jump into conclusions-"

" Than stop defending yourself from doing something right!", she screamed back, tears pulling out from her eyes. This was pointless. Godric. She was perplexed by the screaming match that their heated emotions had turned into, and still she kept on. She wanted answers, and answers were the thing he was going to give her." Why are you suddenly pretending to not care about me? I- I don't understand your probl-''

He tightened the grip around her arm, and made her wince out again. '' I don't have any problems.''

'' Oh. You like to bring pain, don't you? Sick minded fool. You just love it.'', she spat at him, biting her inner cheek to stop herself from wincing again.

'' This is nothing in opposite to what I have been through.'', the Death Eater growled. She could feel how he was wrenching her arm further back, wrenching every single muscle and nerve that her arm was built up with. But just when she thought the hitches and pain would be too much, he let go. '' But I refuse providing you with the same.''

She pulled her arm to her like a rocket, and took an objurgatory step back. It came to her mind then, that time had really hardened him, and that whatever they had that one time was long gone for him, even thought he never gave any serious indication where he wanted to hurt her.

But she had hurt him. Broke all the promises, sent him away with nothing to hold, and now she wanted to ask him for forgiveness? What was she even thinking about?

'' I'm sorry.'', she whispered, letting her eyes roll loosely down to the ground.

" Yeah,", he replied silently, and she could feel how he was watching her. He knew what she was sorry for. " You probably are."

She gave him a quick nod while she tried to avoid his eyes, burrowing them into the grass under her, but they somehow burned into hers, and all she could do was to stare. Again.

He nodded severely, totally emotionless, but she swore that she could see how he glanced down to her lips. Or no. It was just her imagination. Right?

But before she could give it another thought, she was pulled with him into the big, tall fields that surrounded the Burrow, in search for safety in the time of apocalypse.

Chapter comments:

Hello my dear Dramione- shippers!

I'm sorry for the late update this time. It's just... I couldn't find a way to finish or start this chapter. You know? I kind of had this writing- crisis where the words just can't fill the story, and makes no sense at all. Godric, it is annoying!

But I somehow managed, even thought I wasn't entirely happy with the result. I hope you won't kill me. :S

Well, well.

I'm glad to see that you guys are giving this a chance! Really, it makes me feel like my ''efforts'' means something. At least to some of you! :)

Oh, and thanks for the wonderful reviews, again. I really love to read them, because aw... you are so sweet!

Hmm... Read & review, and enjoy the last four chapters, with an author's note at the end.

Thank you soo much for all your support so far! Really, I just love you.

- Juliakri