So here we are at chapter twenty. Only one more chapter and an epilogue to go. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. Your comments mean so much to me.
Now this chapter is another one that has been written late at night but it is only 2.30am which is definitely a lot earlier than the last few chapters were posted. Hopefully it turned out alright.
Also I forgot to mention in the last author's not that the leader of the Rebels who I named "Beale" is actually not a random name. He is actually named after a rugby player called Kurtley Beale (not that I think that he would do any of this stuff I am just borrowing him name). The reason I borrowed his name is that he plays for a team called *drum roll* The Rebels! It was too good an opportunity to miss so in my mind most of the Rebels are based on rugby player (although again, I don't actually think that any of said rugby players would do this sort of thing. Is that a good enough disclaimer? Please don't sue me).
In other news I have reached over 60 reviews for this story (yay!) and this chapter will push me over 40000 words which will make this the longest story I have written. It's kind of strange that the longest story I have ever written has only taken three weeks. Anyway I will be back again tomorrow with another chapter :)
Chapter Twenty
20 August 2138
It was late that night when the rovers returned to the base. Lucas was still in shock as he climbed out of the car and was sent to the infirmary with the other prisoners. He sat there numbly as one of the nurses came to give him another check up, making sure that there were no other injuries. He could see what was going on around him yet he wasn't processing it. He was still trying to come to terms with what had happened there. To make things worse, Taylor was still absent.
Lucas sat there on the bed in the infirmary, staring off into space. He was surprised to find that the tears wouldn't come. He was past that point. Now he was just lost and numb, almost like a shell of the boy that was once there. He zoned out as the nurses attended to him and the other prisoners. He was just trying to take in everything that had happened. He couldn't believe that she was gone. His own mother had been tortured to death right in front of his eyes. It was real, it was all too real. The images of the horrific event flooded his mind. Yet at the same time he couldn't help feeling as though it wasn't the end, as though Ayani was going to walk into the room at any moment. But deep down he knew that she wasn't going to. She was gone.
Lucas knew that he would never see his mother again. She would not be there to see him, to hold him or to love him ever again. She was gone for good. Yet there was still a part of him that felt like some miracle might happen and she might return. But there was no chance of that happening. She was well and truly dead.
After Lucas had been sitting in the infirmary for several hours his father walked into the room. Taylor strode over to the nurses without acknowledging his son. Lucas sat there still in shock, hurt by his father's actions. Taylor talked with the nurses for several minutes while Lucas sat there alone. With one last nod to the nurses, Taylor walked back over towards Lucas, beckoning to him before walking towards the door. Lucas got down from the bed, taking his father's actions as permission to leave.
Taylor walked out of the infirmary and along the streets with Lucas hurrying along behind him, trying to keep up with his father's long strides. Taylor made no move to attempt to slow down or to wait for Lucas. Lucas was just following, almost as if he wasn't even there.
Soon they made it back home. Lucas should have been glad to be back there, he had had an exhausting ten days and needed some rest in a decent bed, yet it felt wrong. There was something missing and he knew exactly what it was, or technically who it was. As Lucas followed his father into the house he saw that the front door that the Rebels had smashed through was sitting propped up against the wall, reminding him of the kidnapping. He remembered the way that the Rebels had shot Wash. He wondered if she was alive. He had been so scared for her when he had seen her fall but now he couldn't help wondering why it was that she allowed them to be kidnapped. She was supposed to protect them and she failed. Then there was his father, he was supposed to be there for them and he had failed as well and now Ayani was dead.
As he entered the house he saw that it all appeared to be as he had left it. He glanced over to the coffee table and saw that the chess board was still set up from the game that he had played against his father and then his mother. It was exactly how he and Ayani had left it. Lucas felt a stabbing pain in his chest as he thought of how this chess game would never be finished as well as all the other things that he would never get to do with his mother. There was so much that they hadn't had a chance to do, so many times that would never be had. Lucas found himself thinking that fourteen short years was nowhere near long enough to spend with someone so special.
Lucas looked up to see his father walking along the hallway to his bedroom. Taylor had still not said a word to Lucas and he didn't know why. He needed his father now more than ever and Taylor was just ignoring him.
"Dad," Lucas called as his father walked away, his voice barely above a whisper. Taylor paused yet he didn't turn around, almost as if he was debating whether or not to turn around and say something. After a moment he continued walking into his bedroom before shutting the door with a loud click.
Lucas stood there in the lounge, feeling the familiar tears threatening to fall. He couldn't believe that his father was ignoring him now of all times. Lucas needed him now more than ever yet Taylor wasn't there for him. He was locking himself away, leaving Lucas to deal with things on his own. If there was one time in his life that Lucas needed someone, it was now. But as he looked around he saw that there was no one. His father was ignoring him, he wasn't even sure what had happened to Wash and his mother was dead. Lucas was all alone.
He decided that standing out here alone wasn't going to do him any good, there were way too many reminders of his mother and he was only just holding it together as it was. So Lucas made his way back to his bedroom. As he opened the door to his room he was assaulted with the memory of when the Rebels had come to kidnap him. He walked over to his desk, reaching into his pocket for the crumpled up letter that he still carried, remembering how back then it had meant the world to him. It didn't seem nearly as exciting as it had eleven days ago.
Lucas was still going to go to the Phoenix University. It was his dream and he had promised his mother, it had been her dying wish, yet it didn't hold the same appeal that it had a few days ago. He had never dreamed that his mother wouldn't be there to see him off to college and now it was looking likely that his father might not even see him off either. Lucas was lost and confused. He needed time to just stop so that he could get a grasp on the situation. He was struggling to stay afloat and without his father's love and support he knew that he would surely sink.
Knowing that he couldn't just stand in the doorway to his room for the rest of his life, Lucas made his way over to his bed and lay down. He should have been glad for the comfort, a hot meal, a shower and a comfortable bed were all things that he had been dreaming about for over a week now but now that he was here he didn't know what to do with himself. He lay back on the bed, feeling the tears coming as he allowed the events of the past forty-eight hours to catch up with him.
Ayani was there one minute and then she was gone, never to see Lucas again. He just couldn't believe that she wasn't there anymore. He half expected her to walk into the room and tell him that dinner was ready, as if the past eleven days had just been a horrible nightmare. But deep down Lucas knew that wasn't true. The pain was too real; it kept him trapped in this awful reality.
Lucas heard noises coming from the kitchen and got up to investigate. For a moment he let himself think that it was her, but as it is with all fantasies, it had to come to an end. Lucas walked into the kitchen to find that Taylor was standing there looking rather out of place. He pushed a microwave dinner across the table to Lucas without a word before walking out of the kitchen. This was clearly Taylor's attempt at being fatherly and looking after his son by feeding him. Lucas longed to stop him, to run over to him and receive some sort of comfort from his father; a hug, a pat on the shoulder, a word, an acknowledgment, anything to let him know that his father was there for him. But Taylor was gone, leaving Lucas alone with his meal.
Lucas was starving, having not had a proper meal for over a week, yet each bite tasted worse than the last. He scoffed the food down, his malnourished body screaming for some nutrition, yet he was much too upset to actually enjoy the food. It all tasted bland and unappealing. He was just going through the motions, forcing himself to eat bite after bite until the plate was empty. As he ate he was reminded of all the meals his mother had made, of all the times he had helped her in the kitchen. He felt a tear roll down his cheek as the memories came flooding back.
He sensed a presence behind him and turned around, sniffing and trying to hold back his tears as he did so. He saw Taylor standing there looking over at him with a cold look. There was little emotion in his stare yet what emotion was there was obvious. Disappointment and regret were evident on his face and they were aimed at Lucas. He knew that his father was disappointed in him, he should have found a way to save his mother, he should have been the one to die instead of her. It was obvious that Taylor agreed by the regret in his eyes. Lucas could see that his father resented him. He hadn't just lost his wife that day, he had lost his unborn daughter to and now he was stuck with his son that shouldn't even be there. It should have been Ayani standing there in the kitchen, not Lucas, that much was obvious from Taylor's face.
Without a word Taylor turned and walked back to his room, leaving Lucas alone once again. Lucas looked around the empty house. It felt a lot bigger than it used to and a lot emptier. He found himself wishing once again that his mother was there. She would have been able to comfort him. She wouldn't have just left him. But she wasn't there and she never would be again.
Lucas stood up, throwing the packaging from his microwave meal into the bin before making his way back to his room. There was no point in staying out here now. He longed to have a shower to wash the mess of eleven day's worth of blood and dirt off him yet he just couldn't find the energy. He collapsed back down on the bed, not caring that he was dirtying the sheets. Nothing mattered anymore.
The realisation that he was never going to see his mother again started to sink in. Unable to hold back his tears anymore, Lucas rolled over to bury his face in his pillow, letting it catch all of his tears. For the first time in his life he felt truly alone and the worst part was he knew that would never change. This was his life now. Ayani was gone and Taylor wasn't there for him anymore. It was just Lucas. This was the beginning of his new life of loneliness.
Lucas lay there crying for what felt like hours until there were no more tears left. He was exhausted and in much need of rest and so he eventually drifted off into a deep sleep, his eyes still wet with tears and his heart still heavy with loss.