Once A Day
Characters/Pairings: Relena, Heero; 1xR if you put the shipping goggles on
Words: 639
Author's Note: First of all, Wellerisms are fun. My brother's favorite for the longest time (said to the point where we cut him off because we were stick of it) was, "'I see,' said the blind man as he picked up the hammer and saw." I didn't want to be so obvious, so after consulting a list of well known proverbs I settled on two, though one is an obvious case of being an actual Wellerism while the other is Relena pointing out that Heero is merely the pot calling the kettle black.

Also, Glacier National Park is awesome.

Wellerism - noun: An expression involving a familiar proverb or quotation and its facetious sequel. It usually comprises three parts: statement, speaker, situation.

Relena rolled her shoulders in an attempt to work out the kink that had settled at the base of her neck. She'd been working nearly eighty hours a week for the last month and it was finally starting to show. There were dark circles under her eyes and her complexion was becoming sallow from too much take-out, not enough sleep and never seeing the light of day.

"There's a saying, Relena, that all work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy," Heero noted as he kept working at his laptop. He hadn't even bothered to look up or still his fingers as he dropped that little pearl of wisdom.

Relena cocked an eyebrow. "Yes, and there's another saying that states that advisers run no risks." He looked up at her then, as if to assess what she meant. She rolled her eyes. "What I mean is that it's easier to dispense advice than to actually follow it. You're telling me to take a vacation when you're in need of one just as badly as I am."

"It's fine. It doesn't bother me."

She sighed as she stood up. She quickly crossed the room and shut the lid to his computer, earning an irritated glare. "I'm a lot tougher than I look. Just because I was raised as some spoiled little rich kid doesn't mean that I don't understand or undervalue hard work."

"I think your problem is that overvalue it," he answered irritably. He tried to open the lid to his laptop, but Relena kept her hand splayed across it.

"I think you undervalue time off. I know you think you're invincible or something, but even you need a vacation once in a while."

He glared at her for a moment before his eyes softened slightly. "Touché, princess."

"Please don't call me that. I'm not a princess anymore."

"Suit yourself."

"Anyway, I think we should take a vacation somewhere. It needs to be remote. No access to the internet or phones or anything that might even tempt us to work."

He narrowed his eyes. "No."

Shaking her head in disappointment, she reached around the back of his head and gave him a firm whack. "That's not an acceptable answer. I'll take a vacation, but only if you take one as well."

"That's not fair."

"That's the art of negotiation. It wouldn't kill you to take a little of your own advice, you know."

"You don't know that."

"I do and you're bullshitting me in an attempt to get out of it. Here's a newsflash for you: it won't work."

"Did you really just say bullshitting?"

"I do know how to swear, but I usually don't, as it makes me sound crass and uneducated, but I am not afraid to call a spade a spade when necessary. If calling your bluff by saying that you're bullshitting me does the job, then I'll do just that. Now, what do you think about Fiji or Tahiti?"

"Neither."

"And where do you propose we take our vacation?"

"Some place in the mountains."

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "We could do that."

"Now if you'd let me get back on my computer, I'll book the trip."

Removing her hand from the laptop's lid, she kneeled next to him as he opened it and began his search for possible vacation spots. After several minutes of clicking and typing, he finally stopped and turned to Relena. "What do you think, does this look good?"

"Glacier National Park?"

"Only a few Glaciers remain due to climate change, but it's remote. We can hike, horseback ride, and pretty much anything but work. Does that meet all of your requirements?"

"Yes, thank you."

"You know I only did this to get you to stop nagging me, right?"

"You just keep telling yourself that," she replied smugly.