Chapter 21 – To Find the Courage

"Bazina doesn't look so good. Are you sure she is alright?" Gabrielle asked nervously and smoothed the mare's muzzle and forehead. The horse had acted weirdly for days and she was nervous if the mare was able to travel down to academy. "No but I think I know what's wrong with her. That is the reason I want you to pack little bit more. We may have to stay there a little bit longer than normally", master Ni answered calmly. When he didn't explain further so Gabrielle began to seek some hint by herself. "I can't find any wounds but she seems a bit down. She would have eaten something bad."

"She is totally fine, there is nothing bad with her. I think it is the opposite, actually."

"Don't tell then. I will give Ming Zhi three seconds to look at her and she tells me the answer to my question", Gabrielle decided and walked down to her room to do the final packing. She and master Ni were about to leave for academy to ones again fulfill their supplies before the winter season. Although it was Gabrielle's third winter at China she was not waiting for the wind and cold to come.

"Xiàjiàng, remember this is not vacation. You wanted to complete your training as quickly as possible so that means you have to work every day!" He knew he didn't really have to remind young woman about that but he liked to pick up the fact ones in while. The relationship between old Chinese and young creek had evolved and transformed a lot during the last years Gabrielle had lived with him. First he had seen her only as his patient and later student but during the months they had spent together the relationship between trainee and master had became more like a father-daughter relationship. Gabrielle had changed a lot, there were only a few marks that remind her about the incident three years ago; she carried a scare on her face probably for the rest of her life as well as some other minor scares under her clothes. All the bones had healed nicely and limping had disappeared totally. The wrist that had shattered had gain back most of its functions; sometimes when Gabrielle used her hand too much she needed to use a splint for a day or so but even that happened more and more seldom.

"Okay I have everything I need. If you are sure Bazina is up to it, I am ready to go", Gabrielle said when she came back to the living floor few minutes later. "Aah, that happened fast", Pong Ni answered. "Well, I don't own much. Besides I have used to travel, not so much anymore but still, so I know what I need and I am able to pick those items up quite fast if I want so."

-.-

"Hey buddy nice to see you!" Dao-Ming yelled when she grabbed Gabrielle to her bear hug and gave kisses her friend's cheek. "Nice to see you too, it's been four or so months since we were down from the mountain last time." Dao-Ming released Gabrielle from her bear hug and they began to walk side by side to the main building. It was already late, ride down to the academy had taken more time than usually because neither Gabrielle nor master Ni had wanted to fag the old mare.

"Oh yeah, I can't understand how you are able to spend your time in there. Only you and master Ni, wonder what you do to pass the time." During the time Gabrielle had been down at the academy Dao-Ming had became one of her deepest friends. She was few years older than Gabrielle. She was short as most of the Chinese, only an inch longer than Gabrielle. Her skin was nicely tanned, result of the long hours she had spend outside repeating her tricky routine over and over every day. Her hair, typical for Chinese, was long and black as coal.

It took Gabrielle only a second to find the hidden meaning behind her friend's sentences. "Oh no, don't even say that because I can see you are thinking about it. He is like a father to me, not like that." She tried hard not to brush but the color was already creeping to her cheeks. She knew Dao-Ming well enough to know how perverse she was capable to be. "Oh come on. I have heard about fathers that have been intimate with their daughters and both enjoyed it. It is not taboo, you know", Dao-Ming laughed when they stepped in to the hall. Gabrielle's only reaction was to stare her friend open-mouthed and turn her head from left to right to make sure no-one was close enough to listen. "Seriously Dao you are sick", she was able to whisper in the end. "Oh come on, you have slept with me, one more conquest to your book."

"Shut up Dao, it is not like I collect names to my book and no, I am not going to sleep with master Ni. So don't even think about it anymore. I may be younger than you but mentally you are just a 5-year-old." Gabrielle didn't want to sound angry or hurt to her friend but she couldn't do anything to the feelings she was having. A little bit less than a year after she had fallen from the cliff and ended up into China she had get bored to her life and done things she later regret. Every time someone even mentioned something she had done back then she just wanted to disappear and crawl under some rock.

"Oh so now you are shy." Chinese woman tried to tease her friend. "Do you remember what you did about two years ago?" It was late so Gabrielle decided to skip the diner and go straight to the bed. She leaded the way to the bedrooms while Dao-Ming followed her waiting for an answer. "Yes I remember and that was just because I was a child and wanted to test my limits. I have grown up during these few years", Gabrielle silently answered when they had walked for a few meters.

"Yeah I know you have changed. That is the reason I try to tease you, you have became too mature my friend. Master Ni's 'be patient' lessons have made their path to your mind. By the way you need to take some other room because we had to give your room to a sick lady that came here yesterday. The one next to mine and Cheng's is free so if you can stand me and Cheng then you can take that."

"Hey I can be wild if I want to. I just don't have to do that when I am up there. Let's just say that master Ni is not wild person himself. It would be… weird to act like that. He might kick me down from the cliff… never mind." Gabrielle's mood, which Dao-Ming had been able to improve whit her jokes dropped down faster than falling rock when Gabrielle mentioned cliff and falling.

"It still hurts you?" Older Chinese knew when you had to be serious. She liked to joke and do stupid things with her friends, never with her students, but she was also very capable of handling serious talks. Although Gabrielle had relaxed a lot during the years she had been in China, she still had problems when it came directly to the events that lead her to the academy and Pong Ni.

Older woman was sure Gabrielle was not going to answer when they reached the doors of their bedchambers. "Always. Just not in the same way that it did at the beginning."

"What you mean?" Chinese woman asked before she was able to control herself. "You don't have to tell if you don't want to but… I am always here if you need me", she continued before Gabrielle was able to say anything.

Gabrielle motioned her to come inside and shut the door when they were both inside the room Gabrielle was going to sleep in. "It destroyed my soul when it happened. You folks helped me heal part of it but it left scares inside me. First I only saw the hate but now I can see past it and I can see how much I lost. I might not hate her so much anymore but, although China is the best thing ever happened to me, I miss everything in Greece, even Xena which might be weird because only two and half years ago I swore to kill her if I meet her ever again. I have been thinking these things a lot lately. It is what I do when I have some time to spare, I meditate and think about my life and the world around me."

Gabrielle sat to her bed and Dao-Ming followed the action by sitting as well. She wrapped her arms around her friend's shoulders and wished Gabrielle could see how much she cared about her friend's emotions. "You have grown up", she whispered and felt like she had suddenly ten years older than she really was. "You are not that wounded girl who you were when we met first time neither are you that woman I slept with. Okay I could do that again but you hopefully understand my point."

"Of course I understand but I think you will turn to grey if I feed you all my thoughts every time I see you. It is not fare. By the way I thought you are item with Cheng. He might not like if you were with me like that or if he hears what you want to do with me." Gabrielle tried to lighten the conversation. She was tired to be that whiner baby she felt she always was.

"Hah, you have slept with Cheng as well. I am sure he understands because he knows how good you are. Besides, he said if I want I can be with girls ones in a while. Can you believe how cute he is? I bet he is one of a kind. So, I have the permission and we all know how good you are."

"Please let's not go to there again."

"Oh, you are so cute when you blush."

"Shut up!"

"Seriously…"

"Shut up!"

-.-

Gabrielle walked down the path to the forest. She had had an eventful morning starting from the breakfast in a noisy dining room before the sunrise. She had been up in the mountains for weeks so there were plenty of rumors she hadn't yet heard. After breakfast she had decided to go doing some basic routines with the common class but Pong Ni had forced her to advanced class. She hadn't had time to panic weather she can make it or not. Advanced routines were more difficult than Gabrielle had daily used to but she had at least tried all the movements before but not in that order. It was also one new step she took when she moved, again, to the higher and understood she was, indeed, skillful fighter.

After the class young Greek had taken a bath and went to the stables. She wanted to go check how Bazina was doing. She hadn't had time to talk with the stable master and she had been curious to know what was wrong with the old mare.

She missed the lunch because of the bath and the trip to the stables so she had decided to take a walk through the forest. Woods was something she missed when she lived so high; she was able to see it every day but not able to touch or smell the trees or flowers. It always calmed her when she walked through the silent beauty of green.

When she reached the little pond in which shore she loved to sit and think she noticed she was not alone anymore. Cheng, one of her longest and deepest friends in China, sat next to the water and threw little rocks to the water. She almost walked away but he looked strained so Gabrielle began to close the distance.

"Hey friend, how are you, did you hear the news?" She asked when she was close enough for Cheng to hear. Young healer winced when he heard the voice behind him. He turned quickly and realized his breath when he recognized Gabrielle.

"Hey Xiàjiàng! Depends which news you mean." Cheng closed the distance between him and Gabrielle and hugged her tightly. "If it's the one that master Mai is in India learning more about their healing culture then yes, that's old one. He left a week ago."

"T'ing Mai went to India?" Gabrielle knew her savior loved to travel but India, she hadn't ever been there and the stories she had heard were wild. "Well that is not the one I met but that is interesting as well." They walked back to the shore and sat down to the trump Cheng had been using as a chair. "What I mean is if you heard that Bazina is soon going to be a mommy." Gabrielle smiled.

"Bazina as master Ni's horse?" Cheng was surprised. "When did that happen?"

"Probably last time we visited or before that, I don't know. I heard about it today when I went to the stables and Ming Zhi told me about it. Master Ni probably knew already because I noticed something was wrong with Baz and he said it is nothing bad, actually opposite, which it is so..."

"Wow, what is he going to do with that foal?"

"I don't know. I am only guessing but I think when the foal is old enough to be ridden Baz will retire and her son or daughter will take her place as master Ni's four-legged companion."

"You think so? He loves Bazina more than anything, better yet, I don't know if he loved anything else than that horse. Could he just dumb and replace her?"

"I said it's only speculation."

"Yeah, well congratulation to Bazina. She will be one happy mother horse soon." He turned a little bit and took something from the basket he had with him. "I came here to think so I skipped the lunch. I have some rice cakes, want some?" Gabrielle gave the affirmative answer by shaking her head. "Thanks. I went to see Bazina after the class so I missed my lunch as well.

They ate their cakes in silence for a while. Although Gabrielle loved to talk and be social she had learn to love the silence moments of life as well. "Hey how are you, it's been forever since you were down here?" Last time we saw each other you completed yet another middle exam. They say you have talent." Cheng broke the silence after he was done with his lunch.

"Oh thanks. I don't see it myself but yes, they have said I am natural when it comes to martial arts. Today master Ni put me to train with the advanced class." Gabrielle said and lay back to the grass. She stared to the sky and watched when the treetop followed the wind and birds played tack with their brothers. Cheng came to lie next to her.

"Did you choose to take the sharp weapons?" He asked after another silent moment. In a normal training blunt weapon training was part of the basics, it was something everybody had to do if they wanted to study in the academy. After blunt weapon and basic knowledge studies, which usually took about four to seven years depending on your age and motivation you chose what you wanted to learn more. For example, Cheng had chosen the career of healer and dropped the weapon when it was possible. "Yes. I began working with sais few months ago." Sais were the first of the sharp weapons and as popular as sword.

"I never choose to continue to the killing weapons. I took the path of a healer but you already knew that."

"Yes. Well I know a little healing as well. As master Ni's private student he decided to teach me a little bit of everything. If I want, he teaches me more but it is completely up to me. Little bit everything as little bit more than normally on basics."

"Well, anyway, normally it takes over five years to reach the point you have reached in two years. If that is not natural talent then what is?"

"I just hope I made the right decision."

"I am sure you did. You are only twenty. You have life ahead of you. Limitless amount of possibilities."

"Talking about possibilities how are you and Dao-Ming? I talked with her yesterday and she looked pretty much in love. I also talked with Kin Yi earlier and he said we should be planning stag party. Have you taken some steps forward since my last visit?"

"I have been thinking about that but no, it is reality, at least not yet. That is what I have been thinking for days now. I want to ask but I don't know how. I am afraid she says no because she liked, you know, other kind of closeness as well, namely with your genre. I have said it is okay if she wants to, you know, ones in a while but I am afraid she doesn't want to wed me because she might think she loses, you know, - women relationships." Gabrielle rolled on her side and looked her friend from top to bottom. Cheng looked her as well. Although he had known Gabrielle only a couple of years and most of that time she had spend alone with Pong Ni he trusted and liked, loved as sister, Gabrielle very much. They both carried strong dark feelings which had, in the beginning, created a connection between the two adults.

"Hey, don't be afraid", Gabrielle said. She was happy that Cheng was going to take the last step and ask Dao-Ming to marry him. Those two, Dao-Ming and Cheng, had become her closest friends in China. Pong Ni was in his own category, he was like a second father for young Greek. "She loves you deeply and I bet she is waiting for you to ask her. I talked with her yesterday and even though it was mostly about me and my adventures I was able to read between the lines that she is very much in love with you."

"Is that enough? I don't even know how to ask, I don't want it to sound like a joke." He rose to the sitting position and looked the water surface. It was like a mirror, even the smallest wave was gone.

"I have never heard someone saying 'Will you marry me' as a joke. You will know when the time is right and romantic enough to ask. Maybe you should take a walk tonight. They say moonlight is sexy." Gabrielle rose as well.

"I don't want to give her wrong impression of me", Cheng tried to vocalize his fears. "You have known Dao for years, you literally grew up together. I think you have given her enough opportunities to get the right impression."

"I am just so full of, I don't know, some kind of energy but I can't find a way to channel it out of me. I am just, turning it into speculations and fears. I should have asked her weeks ago when I first time decided to take that step." Gabrielle looked around and noticed there were enough right-sized sticks on the ground. The pond was popular place when you wanted to be alone and do your own things. "I can't believe I am asking this but do you want to spar? You can try to channel part of that energy to me. Besides, it is always good to keep up with the basics, you can never know where and when you need your surviving skills."

"We could try but I warn you, I am not even close to your skills with Kon. I won't be very sparring fight for you." It was weird. Gabrielle hadn't had a training match outside the classes. Pong Ni was skilled but he never fought with her. Then the lesson she had attended at the academy had been against other student, mostly younger than her, and those few times she had met bandits while travelling to the nearest cities with Dao-Ming and T'ing Mai it hadn't been much of a fight. With Dao-Ming they had always been even but for a first time Gabrielle was the stronger and more skillful fighter. "Don't worry. This is completely for you. Imagine is as your pre stag party present. Because I don't want to drunk you I will help this way."

After they bout found themselves a right-sized staff they began the familiar circulating. Gabrielle had many opportunities to break though his friend's defense but she didn't use them because she didn't want to end their sparring so soon. She wondered if Xena had had same kind of feelings she had at the moment when they had sparred together years ago. Those few years which she had spend with the tall raven haired Greek had become like a distant memories. Only few weeks ago Gabrielle had understood that she had almost been in China longer than she had travelled with the tall warrior. She had changed a lot since those days. Now she was the lead and Cheng was the trainee.

End of part 21

Okay, there were over a month between this and the last one. My life has been like a too fast roller coaster but I hope I can find time to continue this story. Christmas is coming which means holidays which, hopefully, means more chapters :P Anyway I hope you could comment or something if you are still interested of the story. It been sitting for a while so I am not sure if you want to hear the rest…

These last chapters have been mostly talking but there is going to be some action in the following chapter. I don't know, I just like to write dialogs - plus they are easy way to show what has happened :D