Chapter Twenty One: After a Hurricane comes a Rainbow

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My Sweet Angel,

I miss you. A lot. It's hard to bear some days.

And yet...other days, it's not.

I met someone here. He's nice. He's got a son. I tried to kill them both on earth and yet they've been the only thing that saved me here. It's kind of like having a family again.

I'm happy, I think. I don't really know what 'happy' is any more, but when I'm with them, I don't feel like I'm just some dumb human they rescued. I feel...like I'm Home. I think that means I'm happy. I really miss being happy. I want us both to be happy, my love. I'm tired of looking back.

You've met someone new, haven't you? I overheard a guard in D-10. It hurt to overhear it, but I know why you did it. I'm different. You're different. We're just...not who we used to be. I hope you're happy, and that he loves you as much as I did. As much as I still do.

But I'll never fit into that word again, my sweet angel, and you would hate this one. (A lot, let me tell you. It's crazy, and odd, and...utterly captivating to me.)

I love you. A lot. And I miss you. A lot.

I think I always will.

But this is me, letting you go, so we can both have a brighter tomorrow. You've moved on, and I think it's time I did the same.

All my (human) love,

- Wikus Van De Merwe

a.k.a, Roi'jerrrl.

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Wikus knew the second that Christopher had finished reading the letter, even before those dark eyes were raised to meet his. He could see the way Christopher's hands clenched on the sheet, and the way his eyes narrowed - in contemplation? In distaste? Wikus didn't know anymore.

He unknowingly tightened his hold on Oliver. Christopher forgave easily, yes, but would he forgive him this time?

Olive shifted, blatantly curious over the letter but reluctant to let Wikus go, in case he ran away again. He didn't care what the letter said, he decided, resting his cheek against Wikus' chest plate. He just didn't want Wikus to leave again.

"Is this true?" Christopher asked, breaking the silence with his hoarse voice. "Do...Did you mean this?" He shook the sheet, staring at Wikus with intense eyes.

"Ah," Wikus stammered, before nodding firmly. "Yes."

"You're letting her go? For good?" Christopher tried to clarify. His hands held so tight to the sheet that Wikus was afraid it might snap. Oliver's gaze snapped to Wikus' face, and father and son stared at the male who had entered their life so oddly - and changed it completely.

"Yes," Wikus repeated, his voice holding firm this time, though he could not meet their gaze. "I have to."

Christopher stared. "You don't have to do anything, Wikus." Oliver went to protest, but was silenced by his father's gaze.

"Yes, yes I do," Wikus protested. "I should have done this months, years ago. I shouldn't have..."

"Held onto her for so long? You loved her, Wikus, and you still do. No one would blame you for that. Yes, You have to let her go, but not because people think you should but because you're ready to let her go."

Wikus made a choked noise, glancing at Christopher and finally - finally - meeting his gaze. "When did you get so smart?" Wikus tried to joke, with a tired - albeit bitter - laugh.

Christopher shook his head. "I'm not smart, Wikus. If I were smart, I would have admitted everything to you earlier. I would have courted you openly." He hesitated. "You would have been my mate now, had I been smarter. I'm just a coward."

Both Wikus and Oliver made protesting noises and Wikus outstretched a hand to him. He grasped onto the other male's wrist and tugged, drawing him closer to them. "You're not a coward," Wikus denied firmly and Oliver nodded emphatically.

"I am," Christopher said, with a half smile.

"Then I'm a big coward," Wikus pointed out.

"We can be cowardly together!" Oliver announced firmly and Wikus laughed.

Together.

Was this what being happy was about? Not caring about what you were, as long as you were with someone you l...cared about? Someone who cared about you?

"What do you think, Wikus?" Christopher asked quietly, running his hand up Wikus' arm soothingly. "Do you want to be cowardly together?"

Wikus hesitated.

He had let his Angel go. For good.

But was he ready for this?

Was he ready to move on?

He took a deep breath. "Yes."

Christopher wrapped his arms around both his intended and his son, holding tightly to them in the deserted corridor. All three ignored the sound of the metal sheet hitting the floor. Wikus gave a small laugh as Oliver squeezed him extra tight.

He was tired. He was sore. He still felt sick. He'd just left everything he knew behind him. He had left his humanity behind him.

But he was happy.

Actually happy.

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Wikus was not sure what he was expecting, but silence was not one of them.

Returning to their nest, Oliver had squealed something about going to talk to Nngerae about what had just happened and fled, leaving Wikus and Christopher in silence.

Wasn't there meant to be some excitement? Some joy, now they were intended or mates or whatever they were?

Or even , Wikus was slightly confused by this thought, some sort of...honeymoon? He didn't even know how...that...would happen.

Christopher had taken a seat on their furs, shedding his white cloth and placing it carefully beside the bedding. He watched Wikus thought curious eyes, as if waiting to see what he would do now.

"I'm not going to freak out," Wikus announced, without thinking.

Christopher, instead of looking confused, looked...amused. "That's good." He patted the spot beside him on the furs and Wikus hesitated, before seating himself in the suggested spot.

"So," Wikus said, when the silence stretched between them. "What now?"

Christopher sighed, and wrapped an arm around Wikus' shoulders, wincing as the male tensed. "I'm not going to rush you into anything, Wikus," Christopher said softly. "I have waited this long for you to wake up and realise my intent. I do not wish to rush you while you are still mourning for your former mate."

"I'm not mourning for her!"

"You are," Christopher repeated, rubbing Wikus arm. Wikus unconsciously leaned into Christopher, resting against his chest. "But it's okay. I can wait, as long as you need me to. You need to know who you are, before you know who we are, as a...couple."

Wikus considered that for a moment, before nodding.

"But...we are a...couple, right?" He hesitated.

Christopher gave that familiar whirling laugh, his mandibles brushing against the side of Wikus' head. "Yes, we are." It was the first sign of non-platonic affection. Wikus waited for the freak-out to occur, for him to panic and push away.

It didn't happen.

Instead, Wikus smiled, and leaned more fully against Christopher.

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Weeks passed in comfortable silence. Oliver seemed content that his two 'parent figures' were intended to one another and Christopher seemed similiarly conntent with his claim on Wikus.

Wikus, however, was getting frustrated.

He was not sure how long a 'mourning period' was, but Christopher had barely hugged, or talked to him alone since he agreed to be his future mate.

"Are you okay, Roi'jerrrl?" Nngerae asked, Oliver's Guard friend. The male was escorting Wikus to Learning, since Oliver was...somewhere, and Christopher had a meeting with the elders again.

"Yeah," Wikus said, nodding. He liked the Guard. He was a nice male, and he seemed to enjoy Oliver's constant chatter. He hesitated. "Nngerae?"

"Yes, Roi'jerrl?"

"How long is a Polepkwan Mourning Period?"

"Mourning period?" Nngerae looked confused. "For whom?"

"A mate."

"Ah," Nngerae chuckled. "As long as the person feels comfortable. There is no set time. In fact, it can not exist at all, if the person is sure that their new mate is who they want. Some older-style Polepkwan insist on at least a week, as a 'cooling off' period. Why?" The guard looked curious.

Wikus hesitated. "Promise you will not tell Oliver?"

Nngerae looked confused, for a moment, before he remembered Oliver was his friend's earth name. "If it does not concern Oliver, I will not tell him."

"Fair enough." Wikus took a deep breath. "I left a mate on earth."

"She died?" Nngerae asked, sympathetically. They paused outside the Learning room.

"Ah...yes," Wikus said. It was easier then explaining Wikus' transformation and things. "I...wish to take another, but he...they insist that I must mourn for her first."

Nngerae didn't seem concerned by the slip up of 'he' rather then 'she'. "Have you mourned for her?"

"Yes." Wikus nodded.

"Does he - I mean, they -" Nngarea hid a smile "- know you've done this?"

"Yes."

Nngerae shrugged, tapping the door to open it. "Then it sounds like they are just afraid of what to do next. Maybe you should show them what you're ready for, and take it from there? You're earth-born, Roi'jerrrl. He's probably just afraid of scaring you off."

Wikus frowned, but nodded. "Thank you, Nngerae." He smiled at the younger male. "I might do that."

Nngerae grinned. "No problem, Roi'jerrrl. Hey," he called out, stopping Wikus from moving too far into the room. "Are you going to the Day of the Blossoms?"

"What's that?" Wikus asked, stepping back to the door.

"It's a courting festival," Nngerae explained, "and general festival. There are large flowering plants towards the center hives. We travel out to see them and celebrate the bloom." He hesitated. "I'm taking Oliver."

"To court him?" Wikus asked, shocked. Oliver was getting courted before Wikus? That was...kind of sad.

Nngerae laughed outright. "No! He was hoping his father might take the hint if I went with him, that he would have you alone and could court you properly. Why? Is my courting your son so horrific a thought?"

There were so many things to react to in that sentence, Wikus felt his head spin. "My son?" He latched onto the last.

"I know who you're courting, Roi'jerrrl, and Oliver won't shut up about you. You've got a good family," Nngerae said. "Why don't you invite Umjher to the festival? Might show him that you're ready to make it official."

Wikus stammered. "Ah...Yes...Thanks, again. For the advice." He hesitated. "And for what it's worth, Oliver could do a lot worse then you!"

Nngerae laughed again, the whirling loud and heartfelt. "Thanks, Roi'jerrrl. I think." He chuckled. "Enjoy your class."

Wikus entered the room, taking a seat beside two familiar faces, smiling at them and exchanging small talk - his mind still on the festival and his intended.

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Author's Note:

Sorry for the delay guys.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I'm glad you liked the last chapter.

Reviews are very much appreciated,

-Liaa

(Sorry for typos. Again, this isn't as edited as it normally is.)