A/N: Wow! Two updates this week! Okay, I have some things to say.
One, to Phoenixsword24, I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter. I'll message you soon. I'm sorry if you've DM-ed me or anything, my phone's broken, so I'm not getting email notifications. :( Thanks for your review.
Two, to the Guest reader who requested a full Capitol Games, that is an incredible idea. I don't know if that could be just a one-shot though, so I will write it as a full chapter length story, with a preview chapter as a one-shot. I do love that, so it will definitely happen.
Three, to the Guest reader who wants something more sexual, containing a Hayffie genetic cocktail, and Effie helping Katniss with a pregnancy, this one's for you.
And with that said, the latter prompt contains not entirely graphic lemony stuff and I am truly sorry if it's awful. I did a lot of reading up for this, so hopefully it's not as horrible as I think it is. If you dislike lemons, this is probably not the thing for you. :) If you do, however, read on and enjoy!
Warning: It's long. Like, super long. It didn't want to stop growing. And it's very much M rated. Let me know if I should change the rating entirely.
Living in the Life of Hayffie
The music shaking the whole building does nothing for Effie's oncoming migraine. She's come to this party to escape the stress of the publicity. It's been a year since the war was won by the rebels, and Effie, as the last living escort, has a particular amount of attention that she's spent the last year getting rid of. Now that she has no obligation to be a part of the public spectacles, she just wants to settle into a normal life with Haymitch, Katniss, and Peeta. She turns back around, wanting to speak to Haymitch, when she sees that she's all alone. "Oh, unbelievable," she groans to herself. "I turn away for half a minute, and the damn idiot's done a bunk on me again!"
She gets up and starts to wander around the party in the hopes of finding him. She has drink after drink, vaguely realising that she's becoming a female version of Haymitch. The thought makes her grimace for a second before she shakes herself and has another cocktail. The room starts to get hazy as she trudges around, trying to find Haymitch and stay balanced on her seven inch heels. A door opens beside her and two strong hands pull her into a dark closet, causing her to yelp and squirm. "Shh!" a voice hisses.
"Haymitch, is that you?" she asks, her words slurring together a little. "If you're not Haymitch, these heels will pierce your junk."
"No, I'm Haymitch," he whispers, then flicks on a lamp, revealing a smallish room. "I was wondering when you were gonna come in here."
"Well, I was looking for you," she slurs softly. "I have a really nasty migraine coming on. Do you want to go home?"
He smirks a bit, his hand landing on her waist. "Home sounds good," he says. "Less chance of someone walking in on us."
His hand drifts around to her bottom, his smirk growing as he gently kneads her flesh through her skirt. "You're not properly wasted yet, I see," she purrs, pressing her chest to his, her eyes darkening a little. "Tell you what. You and I have a quick one in here, then things get a little rougher back home."
He smiles at the thought, using his grip on her to pull her closer to him, his lips crushing hers in a bruising kiss. Taking it in stride, she kisses him back with just as much force, trying to take control. Sensing that, Haymitch snarls softly, nudging her lips open as he pushes her back to the wall, using his own weight to press her harder against the wall. A small squeak escapes her, her hands wandering down his back and snaking into the back of his pants. He breaks away from her and mutters "You're eager."
"This is no time to take things slow, someone is very likely to have the same idea as us and try to use this room," Effie argues, biting his jaw lightly, not wanting to hurt him.
Haymitch smirks at that, rubbing her hips. She growls softly and grinds against him, a little more forcefully than she'd intended to, coaxing a quiet moan from him. She smiles victoriously, then slides her hands off his behind to undo the front of his jeans, smirking as he groans quietly. "Eff, you're a tease," he hisses.
"You've told me that many, many times before, darling," she chuckles. "You've always enjoyed what my teasing leads to."
He groans as she runs her fingertip down his now-exposed manhood. "Princess, what happened to needing to be quick?" he gasps out quietly, trying to calm his excitement.
"True," she whispers, then slides her underwear off, tucking it into his shirt pocket and rubbing herself against him some more. "Now, my darling Haymitch, I believe there's something you'll want to do..."
"There are a lot of things I want to do where you're concerned," he mutters into her ear, then nips her neck teasingly.
"Dirty man," she laughs, her voice almost a purr.
Three weeks have passed by and Effie's finally shaken off the reporters and camera crews, which she's grateful for, because she's finally able to go grocery shopping without being mobbed by over-eager Capitol people with microphones and cameras. "Haymitch, I'm home!" she calls.
Haymitch walks in, only in his boxers, his hair flattened on one side and wildly sticking in every direction on the other. "Didn't know you were out," he mumbles, his voice slurred from sleep.
"Haymitch, how are you just waking up? It's four in the afternoon!" she exclaims.
"You kept me up last night," he mumbles, reaching for the coffee pot. "You were wriggling all night and when you woke up, I thought I'd catch a few hours. So naturally, being the annoying little thing you are, you took a shower."
"I was all hot and sticky after so much thrashing around," she defends. "I couldn't sleep, it was all too uncomfortable."
He nods. "I gathered. By the way, I have bruises from your squirming," he grumbles.
"I'm sorry," she says, pouting a bit. "I'll be more careful if I have to squirm any more."
"Thanks," he says, rubbing his face as he becomes more alert. "Hey, uh, any reason your bras are all scattered across the bedroom floor?"
"Yes," she says. "I couldn't fit comfortably in any of them. They're too tight and my breasts are protesting me even wearing this top right now. It's like a truly horrible period's coming."
He makes a face. "Great. That means tampons, right?" he asks.
"You're just miserable because it means that you'll be covered in my blood if we have sex," she teases. "Look, it's only a week and I still have other methods of pleasing you."
That makes him laugh a bit. "Damn, woman. Where's this coming from, huh? You didn't want to last night. I distinctly remember a threat of a punch to the junk so hard that my grandkids would feel it," he chuckles.
"That was last night and I would never really hurt you intentionally," she says, turning to kiss him. "Anyway, I want a nap before sex. That trip to the grocery store's really drained me."
"Really?" he asks in confusion. "You're never normally nap tired when you come home from there."
"I am now," she counters. "That, and uh, I'm not having fried onions."
"Okay, why?" he asks, wondering why she'd suddenly want to avoid certain foods.
"Because the smell makes me want to be sick. I smelled the stuff when I walked by the food court. Disgusting," she says, putting away their groceries. As soon as she's done, she sighs and kisses him. "I want to nap. You may only wake me if it's life-threatening or you're panicking."
"Okay. You go rest," he says, then slaps her behind. She gives him a small smile before stretching out and going to the living room, curling up on the sofa. Haymitch studies how she's sleeping, seeing that she's not sleeping in the corner of the L that she usually likes to fall asleep in. She's at the other end of the sofa entirely, a throw over her and a cushion under her head. He sits in the corner of the L to watch her. She stays still, deeply asleep, for about an hour. After that, she bolts awake and throws the fluffy throw into his face, racing to the bathroom, making him worry and call out "Effs?"
"Nature calls!" she yells back. She returns four minutes later and sniffs up. "Ew. Whatever that is, it stinks. Anyway."
She curls up next to him and leans her head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around her, then notices something. "Eff, do you feel okay?" he asks quietly.
"Um, I think I do," she says. "I feel a bit yuck, but I'm okay. Why?"
"I think you're running a fever. You're really warm," he says.
"I've just been under a throw," she reminds him. "And I've napped. I'm going to be warm for a little while."
"Okay," he says, shrugging it off. "You want some strawberry ice cream?"
She processes his words, then makes a disgusted face. "No, thank you very much," she says, shuddering.
"How come? Didn't you say you loved strawberry ice cream?" he asks, perplexed.
"Yes, but it's revolting, so no," she hisses. "No ice cream. Snuggles."
She wraps herself around him like an octopus. "O... Kay?" he asks uncertainly. "Snuggles it is, then. You get weird when you have periods."
"Get used to it, I've got to have these things every month. If you want to stop this without making me have a hysterectomy, we'll have to have a baby," she chuckles.
"Well, that'd be fine," he replies casually. "A small you. Not loving the knowledge that you'll have extended period symptoms, but at least something good comes out of it instead of just torture for you."
She laughs. "Aww, do you want to be a daddy?" she asks quietly.
"I wouldn't mind it," he says, shrugging. "But that means you'd need to want to be a mom, which you've repeatedly said you don't."
"I've changed my mind. Kind of. I only want to have your babies," she tells him. "Your genes and mine combined would be a real force of nature."
"Fair enough. But I'd like to be married to you before we have any little peanuts," he says, patting her stomach.
"Ohh, don't," she groans, getting up.
"What's up?" he asks nervously.
"I need to go to the bathroom and that did not help," she whines. "Five minutes."
"You've just been ten minutes ago, how come you need to go again?" he asks.
"Ask my useless bladder!" she snaps, running off to the bathroom. "Oh, and we have dinner with the kids tonight!"
"When were you telling me that?!" he demands.
"I think I just did!" she calls. She comes back a few minutes later and lies down, her head in his lap. "I want to nap some more."
"Okay. You want a blanket?" he asks.
"Mm," she hums, curling up. "If you like."
She's asleep before he's picked up the throw.
"Effie, how come you haven't opened these?" Haymitch asks, holding up the tampons as he walks into the kitchen, where Effie's now enthusiastically stirring up one of her latest concoctions.
"The tampons?" she asks, turning to look at him.
"Yeah, the tampons. How come you haven't opened them? You were due to have your period just after you started acting all... Not you," he says.
"I know," she sighs. "It's really odd. The weirdest bit is, I feel so sick, so hungry, and I had to get up five times last night just to relieve my bladder."
He groans. "I know, you woke me up every time," he informs her. "How come you're still not comfortable in bed?"
"Well, take a look!" she says, gesturing to her chest. "What's different?"
"Uh, you've actually got breasts now?" he asks, smirking mockingly.
"Oh, ha ha, Mr Comedian. Don't give up your day job," she snarls. "No, really. I know they're a lot bigger now, but look."
"Your nipples are really prominent in that shirt," he comments, unable to tear his eyes away.
"Hey, pervert, I can see you getting excited by this," she snaps. "Hon, I'm getting worried, what if this is cancer?"
"Look at you, going for the worst case scenario," he sighs. "Have you considered a pregnancy test, Eff?"
"No," she says, then squeaks. "I need to get some! Then we can find out if we're having a baby!"
"You sit yourself down, Princess," he says, then kisses her. "If you're pregnant, this baby's going to suck up your energy like your tablet sucks up power."
She grins at him. "Be safe, you," she says. "You have to come home in one piece."
"I will," he tells her, kissing her nose before he leaves.
She decides to lie down after a few minutes of being alone, grabbing her book and snuggling down on the sofa, one hand on her lower stomach in the hopes of feeling something unusual happen. Nothing does, but she's definitely excited now. Within minutes, she's sound asleep, which is the sight Haymitch arrives home to half an hour later. He smiles at the sight of her all curled up, her book propped against her stomach and her face blissfully relaxed. She wakes after another hour, them smiles at Haymitch. "Hi... You only just get back?" she asks sleepily.
"I've been home for an hour, sweetheart," he says gently, grabbing her hand. "You were asleep when I got home. I've got the tests."
"Good," she mumbles, then kisses him. "Because I need the toilet. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just really curious. You go do that test, Princess," he tells her gently, cupping her cheek.
She nods and bolts to the bathroom. Haymitch listens to the tap running and begins to think of what will happen if the test turns out positive. He's fairly certain it will, but he's scared that she'll lose it, that she'll die in childbirth and leave him alone with their baby, that the baby will die during the birth or just after and leave them devastated, that he'll lose them both and be all alone again, that the Games will start again and their baby would be reaped to its death... He knows that last one's a long shot, but he doesn't want to rule it out entirely, you never know in Panem. Effie's light tread comes rapidly down the steps and he knows he has a limited time now before he finds out if he's a father. "Well?" he asks.
Effie's mind is in a tangled mess of train wrecked thoughts now. "It's positive," she tells him gently, handing him the test to prove her point. She's scared silly, convinced that their child will die if she does anything even slightly unhealthy or unsafe. "We're having a baby."
The words hang in the air, the terror settling over them as it sinks in. "We're actually gonna be parents," Haymitch murmurs, in the hopes of somehow making it feel real instead of numbing.
"Yes," Effie whispers, then she sobs, taking both herself and Haymitch by surprise.
"You okay?" Haymitch asks softly, shifting up to her. She realises, the thought coming vaguely outlined in the fog of terror, that the only thing that could get through to Haymitch when he's lost in his fear of being a father, is her in distress. She opens her mouth to respond, only getting out another sob. He tightens his grip on her and holds her while she cries. Her tears confuse her, since she's still numb with the surprise of being pregnant, she doesn't feel sad at all. Haymitch, however, is terrified, and seeing her cry just makes him miserable as well as sad. "Effie?"
She chokes out "I'm sorry, I don't actually know why I'm crying. I'm not sad about this."
"You're happy?" he asks hopefully, thinking it might be happy tears.
"I think so... I may be in shock," she says softly. "What about you?"
"Same," he replies, wiping the tears off Effie's face. "Sweetheart, I know that the outcome of this is gonna be the best interest of us all, so... What do you want to do?"
"What do you mean, what do I want to do?" she asks, looking up at him. "Do you mean what do I want to do with the baby?"
"Yeah," he says, kissing her nose.
"Well... This is a joint decision," she says. "If it were my choice, I'd keep it without question or even thinking about it. What about you? What would you do if it were solely your decision?"
"If I was the one carrying, I'd keep it," he says. "I'd like to keep the kid. Since you're the mommy, you're the one with the final say in it."
"We agree," she breathes, staring at him with something akin to wonder on her face. "We have an important decision, and not only did we handle it like grown ups, but... We agree on it too!"
"When did we become mature?" he asks, then hugs her close. "So, are we having a baby?"
"We certainly are," she whispers. "And we have... Thirty four weeks to prepare."
"How do you know that?" he asks.
"The test. Six weeks," she tells him, smiling.
Thirty three weeks later
"Haymitch, I swear I'm going to kill you!" Effie bellows.
"What have I done this time?!" Haymitch yells back, genuinely curious. "I haven't moved off the sofa!"
"You're the reason this baby exists, so by extension, it is your fault that my back feels broken!" she screeches, half-storming and half-waddling into the living room, glaring at him.
"You know I can't take you seriously when you're trying to attack me on those tiny toothpick legs of yours," he chuckles.
"What's wrong with my legs?" she growls.
"Nothing's wrong. The baby's just big and you're so small," he laughs, watching her as she waddles over to him. "You walk like a penguin."
"I'll make you walk like a penguin if you like," she growls and gives him a pointed look at his junk. "I have a mean punch."
"Ah, fight me, small thing," he chuckles, then kisses her gently.
She shoves him off her angrily. "No. You don't tell me I walk like a penguin when it's your child I'm carrying, then try to kiss me like you haven't just upset me!" she snaps, then folds her arms under her chest before groaning in exasperation. "I hate being pregnant."
He sighs and strokes her cheek. "You've only got to put up with this for a week more, if not less," he whispers. "Then you'll start to feel less yucky."
"So now you think I'm repulsive?!" she hisses angrily.
"No, of course not," he tries.
"Yes you do! You haven't had any sexual interest in me at all lately! Everything's been purely about the baby, which is all well and good, but I'm still a woman, even if I am currently carrying a small human! I still need to have sex and to be treated like a human!" she shouts, then curls up as much as she can around her stomach. "I'll never be sexy again..."
Haymitch pulls her into his arms and kisses the top of her head. "Princess, you're already sexy," he whispers to her. "The only reason we haven't had sex lately is because I don't want to hurt you. You've had horrible back aches, head aches, nausea, dizziness, and you've had so much tenderness everywhere. I've wanted you all this time, I just hate the thought of ever hurting you."
"You're being sweet again, stop it, it's not normal," she sobs, curling up to him.
"There's just no winning with you, is there?" he chuckles softly and cuddles her. "Why don't you tell me what you need?"
"I need to get this baby out of my body before I do any more crazy things. I don't know how to be rational any more and it's weird," she sniffs, snuggling up to him. "In the meantime, I want to nap."
He laughs and cuddles her close. "Okay, Princess, you nap," he whispers, kissing her.
Only an hour later, she's awake again and groans. "I need to get up," she mumbles.
"What for?" he asks, petting her.
"A tennis match," she sighs sarcastically. "What do you think? I need the bathroom again."
"Okay," Haymitch mutters and lifts her up with ease.
"Thank you," she says, smiling. "I don't say this anywhere near as often as I should, but I love you and I appreciate everything you do for me. Please remember that."
"I will, Princess. Now you go relieve yourself," he tells her, slapping her behind as she goes.
"Cheeky," she giggles, then waddles out of the living room. She's out of the room for a good ten minutes before she returns. "Okay, I'm back."
He grins at her, then shows her a box of her favourite chocolates. "Look what I've got," he chuckles. "Come on, Eff, sit down."
She squeals and waddles closer as quickly as she can. She stops and gasps, gripping the arm of the sofa. "Ooh..." she murmurs.
"What's up, Effs?" he asks nervously.
"I think I wet myself a little," she murmurs.
"What?" he asks.
"Well, something wet just landed in my pants and I don't like that kind of wet," she hisses. "It feels gross."
"Like discharge or amniotic fluid?" he asks.
"One of those," she replies, then winces. "Is it visible?"
"You're wearing black. It's not visible, no," he tells her.
"Okay, good," she sighs, grabbing a water proof sheet to sit on. "If I'm going to leak odd fluids, I'm not getting it all over the sofa."
"Clever little thing, aren't you?" he murmurs.
"I have to be, I've got two men to care for," she replies.
"Who's the other man?" he asks suspiciously. "Are you seeing someone?"
"Don't talk daft, why would I want anyone else? I've got you, and I've got our tiny man," she chuckles, rubbing her stomach. "My two men. See? You and our son. I've got a perfect marriage, I wouldn't trade this for anything. Ooh."
"What's ooh?" he asks worriedly.
"Just a cramp, nothing else," she sighs.
"You sure?" he asks, kissing her nose softly.
"Yes, I'm sure," she chuckles. "I believe there's chocolate involved?"
He hands her the box and kisses her cheek. "When there's an Effie, there's chocolates," he mutters to her, then gets up. "Want a drink?"
"Yes please. If we have hot chocolate, that'd be nice," she says, picking up a chocolate and popping it into her mouth with a contented sigh.
"I remember when that sound was my doing," he chuckles softly, watching her savouring her chocolate.
"Who said it wasn't?" she asks as soon as she's swallowed the chocolate. "You have a very attractive behind, my love."
He chuckles. "Stick to your chocolates, Princess," he jokes, then goes to make their drinks.
While alone, he contemplates his life, wondering when he became this kind of man. The kind that has a wife he can admit to loving when he's spent so long being unable to admit it, even to himself, for fear of her being taken from him. The kind of man who's not only embraced the thought of impending fatherhood, but is looking forward to it, after years of the mentality of his children being taken away and killed. The kind of man who wants to lead a normal, alcohol-free life, just so he can watch his son grow up. The sort of man who thinks of having a child to raise and smiles instead of cringing. "Ow!"
The cry from the living room startles Haymitch out of his thoughts. He runs into the living room to find Effie doubled up, the chocolates on the coffee table, forgotten. "Princess, what's wrong?" he asks, running over and grabbing her gently.
"Just a contraction, it's okay. It might be a false alarm," she sighs. "I'm sorry for scaring you."
"No, I'm calling a cab, we're getting you checked out," he tells her, mind made up. "You sit back and look pretty."
She sighs "Well, I'm not pretty, but I can definitely sit back."
"Well, Mrs Abernathy, it appears that you are now nine centimetres dilated," the midwife says, removing his gloves.
"Right," Effie groans, rubbing her stomach. "When can I push this baby out of me?"
"It won't be long," the man tells her gently. "Fifteen to twenty minutes."
"What?!" she screams. "Fifteen to twenty goddamn minutes?! No! I need this little human out of me now! This is torture!"
Haymitch shushes her, only getting a claw mark on his hand from her incredibly sharp and pointy nails. "Dammit, Effie!" he yells.
She wails, vibrating with pain. "That's nothing compared to this!" she shrieks. "If I could have that little bit of pain, I would!"
Haymitch sighs softly. "Is there no chance of giving her some drugs for this?" he asks of the midwife.
"No. She's too close to delivery. The drugs take a while to kick in. The baby will be out by the time they do," the midwife tells him.
"Great," Effie hisses. "Just great. I swear to whatever greater force there is that you and I are never, ever having sex again if this is the outcome of it."
Haymitch pales visibly, making the midwife laugh. "It's okay, all moms say that during labour and I see them again not long later," he tells Haymitch, grinning. "You will definitely get more sex."
"Not with me, he won't!" Effie screams, doubling up. "Oh, God! Can't you do something?!"
"Nothing to do," the midwife tells her. "I'm sorry, but this baby's coming out without the drugs."
"This child had better be alive and well behaved when it gets out of me!" she screams, scrunching up in agony.
"Just breathe, Effs," Haymitch murmurs. He quickly regrets it when her fist slams into his privates. "Ow! Effie!"
"Just breathe, Mitch!" she screeches mockingly, the pain overwhelming her. "That solves all the painful problems, doesn't it?! Breathing!"
Fifteen minutes later, the midwife slides on a fresh pair of gloves and checks Effie's dilation, then nods at her. "Okay, Mrs Abernathy, it's go time. Next contraction, you push," he says.
"About damn time, too!" she groans. The next contraction hits her, gaining a deafening screech from her. "God, I want this over!"
"Okay, I see its head. Mr Abernathy, give me your hand," the midwife says, extending his hand out to Haymitch.
Haymitch lets the midwife take his hand and guide it between Effie's legs. "Feel that little lump?" the midwife asks.
"Yeah," Haymitch says, being extremely delicate in case he hurts Effie or their baby.
"That's your baby's head," the midwife tells him.
"That's incredible," Haymitch murmurs happily.
"That means this little monster's on its way out... Ow! Oh, God, this hurts!" Effie screams, collapsing against her pillows.
"Push," the midwife instructs.
She does, wailing. "I swear, you're never getting another child, Haymitch Abernathy, I will castrate you first!" she screams.
"Here, Princess, just squeeze my hand," Haymitch says soothingly, gently taking her hand.
She screams again as the midwife instructs her to push, her grip tightening on Haymitch's hand to the point of bones cracking. She flops back, her grip loosening as the pain fades out a little. "Did I hurt you?" she asks softly.
"No, it's fine," he lies, his teeth grinding together.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, feeling guilty for all of two minutes before she cries out again.
"Push," the midwife tells her.
"Ow!" Effie screams, not daring to take hold of Haymitch's hand again.
"Okay, you're nearly there. The baby's head and shoulders are out. You're just going to have to give it a few more pushes, okay?" the midwife tells her, his eyes on the baby.
"As long as my child is born alive, I don't care!" Effie screams, the pain blinding her now.
Two pushes later, there's a loud cry as the midwife lifts the newborn baby. "It's a boy," he announces, grinning at the new parents. "Congratulations."
He cuts the newborn's umbilical cord and ties it off before wrapping the baby in a blanket and giving him to Effie. She's weaker than she'd first thought and kisses her son's forehead before murmuring "Hi, sweetie..."
Haymitch asks "Aren't you gonna take him?"
"I can't," she murmurs. "The world's spinning. You need to hold him for me, I can't."
Effie passes out onto the pillow and Haymitch, taking their son from the midwife, asks "Is she gonna be okay?"
The midwife checks her over and nods. "Down here, she honestly doesn't seem to have ever given birth. She's not bleeding and she looks to be in perfect shape," he says, then goes to get a paediatrician.
Effie wakes up two hours later and groans. "Ow... Ugh. Mitch, how's our baby?" she asks.
"He's soiled himself already, he's just looking for milk," he says, smiling at her.
She sits up and looks at their baby. "Oh, he's gorgeous..." she breathes. "My beautiful baby boy, look at you. Has Daddy been telling you how perfect you are, my sweet boy?"
Haymitch grins. "Here, Princess. Take him. My arms are aching," he says, lowering their newborn into her arms.
"Aww. Ooh, you're a little lightweight, my little jelly bean. Yes you are. How much does he weigh?" she asks, looking to Haymitch.
"He's six and a half pounds," he says proudly. "You did really well, sweetheart. It's like you were never pregnant."
"My really flabby stomach and stinging lady parts say differently," she sighs, then looks down as the baby's lips move in a sucking motion. "Ohh, sweet pea, are you hungry?"
Haymitch smiles to himself as he watches her undo her hospital gown and her maternity bra, watching as their son's mouth edges closer to his mother's chest. Effie giggles quietly at the sight of her son, gently edging her nipple into his mouth. The baby takes instantly, sucking eagerly. "The kid's got his priorities straight," Haymitch chuckles.
"He reminds me of you," Effie chuckles softly, looking up at Haymitch. "Thank you. For everything you've done for me, for everything you've put up with, for not throttling me. I know these last few months have been awful for you, especially when my hormones went crazy and you got shouted at for so much. I'm also really sorry for hurting you during the labour and birth... It wasn't really called for."
"Hey, it's fine. Your mind was full of your pain. It's okay, perfectly justified," he says, sitting beside her and kissing her lips.
She kisses him back for a while, loving the feeling of being her usual self again. She breaks away for air and notices their son, still sucking out milk and closing his eyes. "Isn't he just the most perfect child you've ever seen?" she asks, unable to tear her gaze from the tiny baby in her arms.
"He certainly is," Haymitch replies.
"He needs a name, we can't keep calling him peanut or jelly bean for the rest of his life," Effie murmurs. "What have you thought of?"
"I liked Zachary," Haymitch says quietly. "You?"
"Yes. Zachary. It's just like our boy. The perfect blend of Capitol delicacy and District simplicity," she whispers. "Zachary Aaron Abernathy."
"Why Aaron?" he asks, looking at her curiously.
"Your brother's middle name was Aaron," she says. "I want him to have connections to his past, but not so that it'll upset you every time we call on our son."
Haymitch stares at her for a minute, touched. "Well, sweetheart, that's really sweet of you," he says. "And the name has a flow to it."
"I thought so too," she says. "Now, I do believe we need to call and get our child registered."
"I'll get that done. You've got to sate that small thing's appetite," he chuckles.
"I do indeed," she laughs and kisses him. "Just so you're aware, you make gorgeous babies."
"I have a gorgeous partner," he murmurs against her lips. "Very easy to make good-looking kids when you have a good-looking partner."
Three days later
"Effie!" a female voice screams.
"In the living room!" Effie calls back, cuddling baby Zachary close to her body. They'd returned home the previous day, and Effie's had to force Haymitch to go to bed because he was insistent on staying awake for the third night straight so that she could sleep. Katniss runs in, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Katniss, what's the matter?"
She drops down beside Effie and chokes out "I just found out that I'm not sick. I'm pregnant."
"What?!" Effie gasps.
"Yeah, that's how I felt too. Effie, I'm terrified, this is the worst thing to happen to me since I lost Prim," Katniss sniffs. "I can't be a mother, I'm barely old enough to look after myself."
"I know, honey," Effie sighs, then edges closer, shifting her own baby in her arms so that she can hug Katniss. "How long have you been pregnant?"
"The test said over ten weeks," Katniss says hoarsely. "Peeta's thrilled. I just... Kids die. I can't watch my own kid grow up, reach twelve, and get brutally murdered."
"That's over, Katniss," Effie says firmly. "Over. Done. Gone. Zach wouldn't exist if it weren't. I cannot make you accept your pregnancy, my girl, but if you want help, I am right here. This baby is very real and it depends on you for survival, just like Primrose. You are not alone in this. You have Peeta, you have Haymitch, you have me. There is no way this will be as difficult for you as it was with Primrose and your mother."
"Thank you," Katniss sighs, then looks guilty. "Sorry for barging in here and yelling, you must be exhausted."
"I'm never too tired for my kids," Effie tells her gently, holding her close.
"Okay. How are you handling life with Haymitch and Junior there?" Katniss asks, studying the baby, whose eyes are trying to focus on Effie.
"Quite well. Zach's an easy child to look after, just keep him clean and fed. Haymitch is a little harder to care for, just keep him well rested, well fed, clean, and entertained. Life's easier when you've got a house of boys," Effie says.
"I really hope I have a son," Katniss sighs. "A small Peeta. I really hope it doesn't get any me in it. I don't need more Katniss."
Effie chuckles softly. "It would be a challenge, my girl, but who better to handle a Katniss than you?" she asks softly, running a gentle hand along Katniss's braid.
"Peeta. Haymitch. You," Katniss says dully, but her lips are twitching and her eyes are sparkling with laughter now.
Effie laughs and hugs her. "That's my girl, stubborn and sweet as they come," she chuckles.
Three months later
Haymitch sneaks up on Effie as she stirs the stew in the pot. "Where's our baby?" he asks, wrapping his arms around her waist.
She jumps, then growls at him. "Don't scare me like that!" she snaps, then sighs. "He's in his basket."
Haymitch looks over to see their son's basket by the window, his little face shielded by the hood on the top of the basket, then grins, kissing his wife's neck gently. "Okay. What do you say to a little bit of adult fun time?" he asks softly, nipping at her neck, his hands wandering over her body.
"Not yet, darling, I'm cooking. And I'd rather not get pregnant again so soon. I've only just lost the last bit of my pregnancy weight," she says.
"Okay, okay," he sighs and backs off. "You need any help?"
A loud squelching sound comes from the basket. "I don't... Our son might," she says, her words closely followed by a loud squeaking sound and baby coos.
Haymitch groans. "Oh, fun," he sighs, then goes to get their child out of his basket. "Hey, peanut. You soiled your diaper again, huh?"
The baby gurgles and pulls his father's hair. "You'll have to get him changed, honey, he'll get a rash if you don't," Effie calls over.
"Really?" Haymitch asks sarcastically. "Three months changing his dirty diapers didn't teach me a damned thing, Princess, anything else I missed?"
"Stop being so cheeky with me for a start. Here, you stir the stew, I'll take this one," she says, then puts the spoon in the stew and takes their son from Haymitch. "Come on, jelly bean, let's get you cleaned up. Yes, my little man, we're going to go clean your dirty little bottom."
Haymitch rolls his eyes at the way Effie talks to their baby, stirring the stew. When she returns, she's cuddling their son and grinning. "You're happy. What's going on?" he asks, watching her with their baby.
"Katniss just told me that she and Peeta are having a daughter," she giggles. "Our son's going to get a little playmate!"
"I'm so glad you said playmate and not girlfriend," Haymitch sighs.
"Don't talk nonsense. My little boy's never having a girlfriend, are you? No! Mommy's little man's never going to go off with another girl. You're gonna stay here and be my baby forever, aren't you, my precious little jelly bean?" Effie coos, playfully kissing their son's cheeks, getting him to smile at her and coo back.
"You're gonna raise my boy to be gay?" Haymitch asks, arching an eyebrow.
"No. Our baby isn't leaving us for anyone. He's a little baby and he always will be. Won't you, sweet pea? Yes, you will! You'll always be Mommy's baby, won't you?" she giggles. "My perfect little Zachy boy's always gonna be my baby."
"You know he's not going to be a baby forever, right? He's gotta grow up," Haymitch says.
"Shush!" Effie hisses. "He's a baby and he's staying this way. Aren't you, my precious little angel? Yes you are! Yes you are! You're always my baby."
Zachary gurgles happily and grabs a fistful of his mother's shirt. "You're crazy, Eff," Haymitch chuckles.
"I know. I'm crazy and you like it," she says.
"Yeah..." Haymitch drawls, then faces their son. "Mommy's a nut job."
"Daddy's very mean to Mommy," Effie replies, then kisses the top of their son's head. "But you aren't. You love your mommy, don't you, sweet pea?"
Zach grins and snuggles up to Effie. "Ah, kid loves his father more," Haymitch teases, knowing it annoys Effie. "Don't you, peanut?"
"He loves the woman who gave him life and wakes up at ridiculous hours to feed him," Effie retorts, smiling now. She knows Zach loves them equally, she even encourages Zach toward his father when he's not there to hear her. "Talking of feeding you, my precious baby boy, do you want food?"
Zach's lips move in a sucking motion and Haymitch sighs. "I'll keep stirring this, then," he says.
"Thank you, honey," Effie says sweetly, kissing his lips. "You're the best husband ever."
Haymitch smiles a bit at her. "You're not the worst woman alive," he replies.
"You still need to work on compliments," she says, blushing prettily and smiling, flattered by his words.
She sits down on the wooden stool she'd bought for feeding their son in case he got hungry while she was cooking, allowing him to latch onto her before she watches her husband, smiling warmly at him. "What?" he asks, looking at her.
"You're an attractive sight. I want to watch you," she says, smiling and shrugging.
He grins at her, then continues stirring the stew. "So what's in this?" he asks.
"It's lamb stew. I've got the plums all ready," she says proudly. "I remember it being a favourite of yours."
Haymitch smiles at her, internally cringing at the memory of what he would have thought of himself if his past self were watching. He'd seen so many men adoring their wives in his time as a mentor for the Games that the idea of ever adoring someone that much repulsed him and he'd promised himself he'd never do that. He'd seen so many Capitol women with their children, indulging their every whim, and indulging everything their husband wants without hesitation, that he'd sworn he'd never go for that kind of woman. He'd wanted someone with strong morals and independence. He'd sworn to himself that he'd never go for a Capitol woman, too. But here he stands now, adoring his extremely Capitol wife, watching her obsessing over him and their child, and he understands. The only reason those Capitol couples were as they were was that they shared the same feelings that he and Effie do. He vaguely comprehends Effie talking to him, and he shakes his head. "Sorry, what?" he asks.
"I was trying to get through to you," she says. "The food's ready to be dished out and the baby's still eating."
"Oh, yeah," he mutters and serves up the stew. "The kids coming?"
"Mm hmm," she replies softly. "They certainly are."
He serves up four bowls of stew, then adds the plums Effie's already prepared and grins at her. "There you go, sweetheart," he says, just as the front door opens.
"I told you, we're asking Effie," Katniss says in a low voice. "You know she's been here for us more often than my mom. It's better this way."
"I still think your mom should be given a chance," Peeta replies quietly. "Effie has Zach, he'll keep her busy, you don't want to exhaust her."
"Effie's my first choice. Mom's a last resort," Katniss hisses.
They walk into the kitchen and find Haymitch looking lost and Effie looking scared. "What's going on?" Effie asks softly.
"Katniss wants you to plan her baby shower," Peeta says, glaring at Katniss. "But since you have Zach, I don't think it's fair to do that to you."
"She's the best at planning, and she's better at being a mom than my mom ever was. And if you don't want to, Effie, it's fine, I get it," Katniss says, glaring right back at Peeta.
Effie studies them, then says "Well, I'd love to plan a baby shower for you, Katniss. But, if you don't mind my asking, why not your mom? Traditionally, it's the grandmother to be who plans the baby shower."
"She won't come back to Twelve," Katniss growls. "She told me to take the baby to her in Four when she's born, but she won't see me before that."
Effie prickles up then, anger flooding her. "Then I'll do it," she hisses.
"Eff?" Haymitch asks softly, stroking her hair. "You okay?"
"No!" Effie growls. "How could any woman just abandon her child?! That is... Oh, she's getting a piece of my mind tomorrow morning!"
"Effie, no," Peeta says gently.
"Effie yes!" Effie snaps. "She may have lost one child, but I'll be damned if she abandons the one still alive!"
Katniss sighs. "Effie, listen to me. I'm not taking the baby to see her," she says. "Why would I do that? My daughter has someone even better to spoil her. She has you. She doesn't need my mom when we've got you."
Haymitch smirks approvingly. "Excuse me?" Effie asks in a tiny voice.
"We have you. She's gone for good. She left when she was needed and you never gave up on us, even when it got horrible. Why would we need her when you're here?" Katniss asks, her lips twitching at the corners. "Peeta and I agreed that you're a far better mother to all of us kids than our moms ever were ages ago. Why do you think we asked you?"
That sets Effie off into a flood of tears. Haymitch grins, then mouths at the kids "Well done."
He's not grinning when Effie pulls him close and almost breaks his ribs.
Four months later
"Surprise!" Effie calls, carrying balloons, bags, and Zach into the living room of the Mellark household.
The loud sound of a baby screaming greets her, then Haymitch comes in with more bags on a big pink stroller. Katniss, slumped on the sofa, looks up at Effie and sighs. "Hey. Come on in," she says sleepily.
"Are you okay, dear?" Effie asks, putting the bags down and hugging Katniss close.
"Yeah, I'm just tired. Willow doesn't sleep," Katniss mumbles into Effie's shoulder. "She's slept maybe four hours out of the last seventy two."
"Oh, my poor girl, you must be exhausted!" Effie gasps, cuddling her tightly. "Do you need anything?"
"I need Willow to sleep," Katniss mumbles. "Peeta's upstairs with her."
Haymitch sighs. "Guess not all kids are easy to look after," he says quietly.
"She's mine, I didn't expect her to be easy. I just expected her to want to sleep," Katniss mumbles, clearly falling asleep.
"Well, she will soon, honey," Effie says gently. "She's just getting used to the world."
Zach babbles quietly, then scrambles off his mother's lap to cuddle up to Katniss. "Ka," he mumbles and snuggles up to Katniss as she falls asleep.
Haymitch grins. "Looks like our boy's missed his aunt, huh?" he asks, lifting Effie up and sitting underneath her.
"He probably has," Effie murmurs, kissing Haymitch's jaw.
Five months later
"How's Willow sleeping now?" Effie asks, pouring tea out for Haymitch, Katniss, Peeta, and herself.
"Mama?" Zach asks, holding up a small mug.
Effie sees that he's got himself a clean mug and grins, pouring him some tea and adding milk to it for him. "There you go, my precious baby," she chuckles, grinning. "Come here, sit with us."
She holds his mug while Haymitch pulls him onto the sofa, then hands the mug back to Zach, making sure he doesn't spill. "He's Capitol to the core, just like his mother," Haymitch chuckles, ruffling his son's hair.
"What do you want us to get him for his birthday?" Peeta asks.
"Well, we were thinking on this," Effie says as she hands out the drinks. "We don't really need any more toys or clothes, it's all so expensive and he has so much. We saw a nice video of what someone did for their child and it seemed incredible. If you could write letters to him for when he turns eighteen, that would be wonderful. We'll put them in a time capsule, so that he'll have things from everyone he has now, in seventeen years."
"Effie's idea to follow on that story," Haymitch says. "I was just gonna ask if we could get him a trampoline."
"He's a year old, stop trying to kill him," Effie chuckles. "He can have a trampoline when he can take more than three steps without falling over."
"Why do you want to get him a trampoline?" Peeta asks.
"Because it'll be fun for him," Haymitch says.
"For him or for you?" Katniss jokes.
"Both," Haymitch replies.
"Meaning Haymitch wants a trampoline," Effie laughs. "And just so you know, I will get you a trampoline for your birthday."
"Thanks," Haymitch says, grinning, then he hugs Zach. "That means you and me on a trampoline, kiddo."
"Not a chance," Effie replies. "My baby doesn't go on anything that can hurt him until he's old enough to choose for himself."
"Spoilsport," Haymitch sighs.
"When he's still in one piece, you'll be thanking me," Effie replies.
Three days later
Effie carries Zach into the living room on the morning of his first birthday, where his father's waiting with Katniss, Peeta, and Willow. "Here comes the birthday boy!" Effie calls, holding him up. "He's still kind of groggy, but he's awake!"
"Happy birthday, Zach!" the three adults shout, making him smile vaguely.
"Goo!" he yells back, perking up at the sight of his family. Haymitch steps forward to take him from Effie, getting a massive grin from Zach. "Dada!"
"Hey, peanut," Haymitch chuckles happily, taking Zach from Effie.
"Dada," Zach giggles, snuggling up to his father. "Goo."
"Yeah, goo," Haymitch murmurs and hugs his son. "You know what today is?"
"Goo," Zach replies, looking lost.
"Today's your birthday," Haymitch tells him, then blinks as a bright light flashes. "What was that?!"
"That was me taking a picture of you being adorable," Effie giggles. "Look at you! You're so cute!"
She shows him the picture of him holding Zach, talking to him, and smiling at him. "You do love your sneaky pictures, you do," Haymitch chuckles.
"Because those are the most natural ones of you and our child, that's why," she says proudly, smiling at him. "I love seeing my two men being themselves. It'll mean I have something to remind me of being youngish and seeing you two being happy when I get old."
"You're weird," Haymitch laughs, kissing her nose.
"And you love that about me," Effie laughs, before a flash goes off beside them. "Which one of you did that?!"
Katniss points at Peeta, who's got a massive grin on his face. "I had to. You three look natural and happy," he says. "It's perfect."
"And I've got no makeup on!" Effie squeals. "You'd better not post that on any socials, my face must look terrible!"
"You look gorgeous, stop fussing," Haymitch tells her, cupping her cheek. "Besides, you've always looked better without the makeup."
"Oh, you," she giggles, blushing furiously.
"Mama," Zach says, then reaches up and strokes her cheek, smiling.
"What's up, baby?" she asks, petting his short black curls.
Zach squeaks happily, watching her face. "Is Mommy beautiful?" Haymitch asks softly.
Zach nods proudly. "Mama!"
More flashes, and despite her stern look, Effie bursts out laughing at Peeta's antics with the camera. "You'd better send me those, Peeta Mellark," she giggles. "I'll steal that camera if you don't."
"You'll have to steal it," he says.
"Come here!" Effie exclaims playfully and chases him around the living room. "I will get you!"
Haymitch and Katniss sit on the sofa to watch their partners chase each other around. "We married lunatics," Katniss says with amusement.
"We sure did. That's probably why we married them," Haymitch says. "We need a bit of lunacy or we'd never stop being moody."
"Fair point," Katniss agrees. "Still, it's why we love them."
"True," Haymitch mutters, nodding, then grins as he watches Effie pounce on Peeta's back and try to wrestle his camera off him. "Don't kill the boy, Princess!"
"I'll try!" she calls. "Gimme!"
Katniss and Haymitch share a look, burst out laughing, and yell "Manners, Effie!"
The resulting glare just sends them into another round of hysterics.
A/N 2: Well, if you stuck through this monster one-shot, I applaud you. I'm exhausted now, haha. I'm really sorry if any of this is OOC or really awkward to read, I did write most of it at three in the morning, caffeine-free, and really sleepy. Like I said, I will do the Capitol Games story once I've done my most recent *and very much hiatus-ed* chaptered fic. I will write up the first few chapters and post a preview in a one-shot. Hope you enjoyed this monster fic, and in the meantime, let me know what you think, if there's anything you'd like to see, and any notes you may have for me! Until next time, Cat. xoxo