Chapter 14 (Filler~ Filler~ Lots of Filler~ I swear there's a point to it thouuugh~)
Disclaimer: I do not own Miyamoto's awesomeness that is Wind Waker, but that's been said over fourteen times by now, so I think you get the point. Also, I do not own the Wind Castles scene that shows up later, that is totally a suggestion from one of you lovely reviewers, Dia! Also, I don't own any outside references I made, which I currently forget and am too lazy to look up right now. But I do own the Korgikin Clan, which is from the now narrated fanfics of Lgend of Zelduhhh! (Links are posted on my profile page.) Cheers!
Cherry-sama: The results are in, and well, we only got one vote, and that was against Niko. Sorry Niko. Guess you're the most annoying character.
Niko: (grumbles but runs off with shoe)
Cherry-sama: Hey! …Oh well, I'll get it back from him later. Anyways, now time for chapter four—
Toon Link: Holy crap, did I read that disclaimer right?
Cherry-sama: I thought you weren't supposed to read the disclaimers. O.o
Navi: You write them.
Cherry-sama: That's besides the point.
Toon Link: Did you actually take a suggestion from your reviewers?
Cherry-sama: Well, yeah. Dia's idea was awesome!
Toon Link: (stares unblinking)
Cherry-sama: Look, I don't mind getting suggestions from my reviewers, and that's what the past few questions at the end were about. I would love to hear suggestions from my readers for future insanity, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings if their idea isn't used for one reason or another.
Toon Link: (still staring)
Link: Is that because of all those ideas you already have for this fic and you don't want them to contradict what you have planned?
Cherry-sama: Exactly. I don't have many ideas for the Twilight Princess parody, though. I'd be happy to get suggestions for that!
Navi: Save it for the end of the chapter.
Cherry-sama: Right! Okay, on with the fic!
Link sailed across the ocean, occasionally making the boat hop at the tops of waves to get a jump as high as possible. This was one of those times.
"Waahoo!" Link cheered.
"Please stop!" Navi groaned. "You're making me sea sick."
"Bungee jumpers, ahoy!" Ivan's cheer was a bit harder to hear.
The boat hit the water with a loud splash, which Link sped through right after. Link glanced up a new wave, coming up on the horizon. Link readied himself.
"Oh! I completely forgot to tell you something!"
The boat screeched to a halt and the sail retracted. Link fell forward onto the ship's decorative head piece. Link saw Navi, who was resting on his hairline, flung into the salt waters before them. The wave passed uneventfully underneath them. Ivan flew out, already twitching.
"Couldn't you have waited, like, five seconds?" Link grumbled.
"This is important, I promise," Ivan's twitching body confirmed.
"Alright, then," Link sighed. "Just get it over with."
"Link, do you know the legend of the Hero of Time?" Ivan's twitching body asked.
"I am the Hero of Time," Navi came up to them, shaking the water off herself.
Ivan's twitching body stared at Navi for a second.
"…Right," Ivan jolted repeatedly.
"Hey! I'm telling the truth!" Navi protested. "With the sour milk I—"
"Once long ago, he defeated Ganon—" Ivan began.
"—dor—I'm not gonna say it," Navi groaned.
"—and brought peace to the Kingdom of Hyrule…" Ivan explained. "A piece of the Triforce was given to the Hero of Time and he kept it safe, much as Zelda kept hers. That sacred piece is known as the Triforce of Courage."
"Oh boy," Link gulped. "Navi, it looks like we're going to be finding your friend after all. Or rather, raid his corpse."
"My, that'll be pleasant," Navi groaned.
"Er, no. When the Hero of Time was called to embark on another journey and left the land of Hyrule, he was separated from the elements that made him a hero," Ivan buzzed. "It is said that at that time, the Triforce of Courage was split into eight shards and hidden throughout the land. Even I do not know where they rest, but this much I do know: they lie hidden somewhere in this Great Sea. The Triforce of Courage is the only key that will once again open the doorway to Hyrule. You must search for it."
Ivan nose-dived out of the air. Link caught him on the way down.
"I'm just gonna put him back for now." Link put Ivan in the boat's mouth. "He looks pretty out of it."
"Okay, so, find the sages, get eight Triforce pieces; should be easy enough." Navi shrugged.
"Wait, eight? Holy crap, that's going to take forever!" Link let out.
"Heh heh, yeeaaahh…" Navi bit her lip. "Sorry about that."
"You're the Hero of Time, right?" Link asked. "Why'd you break the Triforce into eight pieces?"
"Well, it was kind of an accident," Navi said. "See, as Tetra is finding out, once the Triforce is in the back of your hand, it's almost impossible to get out again. Without finding the two other people with Triforce pieces or chopping off your hand, that is. When I did manage to get it out, some hours later, I was so annoyed with it that I tossed it as far as I could. It hit a mountain and about eight pieces ricocheted in several directions."
"And, let me guess," Link sighed, "you didn't bother to see where they landed."
"No, of course not." Navi shrugged. "Heck, I thought I was banished from Hyrule. I couldn't care less where it landed."
"That's just perfect," Link grumbled.
"Look, Link, let's just focus on what happened to the two sages," Navi said. "Besides, it probably won't take very long."
Link sailed away from Gale Isle.
"That was pointless," Link grumbled.
"Oh, come on!" Navi let out. "How was I supposed to know that there'd be a statue blowing hurricane strong winds constantly?"
Link said nothing, but just muttered angrily to himself.
"Tree frogs go 'weeee'!" Ivan reenacted the scene with his hands.
"Well, why don't we check out um…" Navi paused.
"Headstone Island?" Link said.
"Right," Navi said. "That place."
"Splat!" Ivan punched his hand when he said this.
"What? And face the same thing all over again?" Link asked.
"Okay, point taken, but," Navi paused, "look, the game designers obviously want us to do something first. All we have to do is figure out what."
Link sailed straight into a cyclone.
"Eh heh heh heh heh heh!" the cyclone cackled.
"Now, it's round two!" Ivan was ecstatic.
"I hate my life."
Link's red little boat spiraled out of the sky. It splashed down in the sea water of Forest Haven.
"Weee!" the voice of Ivan echoed. "That was fun! Let's do it again!"
"This is, urp, getting on my nerves!" Navi tried not to appear queasy. "What is that, the second time that's happened?!"
"You forget the various times we got blown away while I was filling out my map," Link added.
"I have no idea who's in that cyclone thing, but I want to give them a piece of my mind!" Navi buzzed up and down.
"Do you need brain surgery?" Ivan asked.
"Good luck with that," Link said. "After you, you know, could barely stand up against the wind blowing statue back on Gale Isle."
"You know flying isn't my strong point," Navi huffed. "And besides, we just need a different method of approach. I say we charge straight for him and hit him with all we've got! Bombs! Arrows! Your boomerang! Anything!"
"A boomerang in a cyclone?" Link gagged. "Are you crazy? It's a miracle that thing comes back even with all the abuse I put it through."
"Link, now isn't the time to think about real physics," Navi said. "Right now, we need a plan of action. We can't take on Ganondorf and be pushed around by one cackling moron in a wind storm! We need to show that punk who's boss!"
"Like a toaster." Ivan took a pose.
"You and your competitive side," Link groaned. "Alright, fine. But if I end up throwing up, then you're helping me clean it up. And Ivan, stop rapping."
A red being sat upon his storm cloud, gazing out at the sea from within his towering cyclone. Another boring day. Only four dozen postmen, three steam boats, two pirate ships, and that small red boat. A quiet day, to say the least. The entity frowned. He knew he had blown that red boat away a few times before. Points for being persistent.
The entity sighed. Why couldn't they put up more of a fight? Seriously, those Big Octos at least flailed around and tried to grab him when his handsome cyclones picked them up. Not to mention the Rito; the being smirked at the memory of the flailing feathers. But Hylians? Hylians just clung to their boats like sissies. Lame.
Something caught the being's eye. He turned. It was that small boat again, only this time it was headed straight for his elegant cyclone.
"CHARGE!" a female voice bellowed from the boat.
"For peace, or whatever," a kid's voice added half-heartedly.
"And sponge monkeys!" a third voice exclaimed.
This was going to be amusing.
The red figure laughed with glee as it revealed itself from within the cyclone and together they charged toward Link's boat. Link took a step back.
"CYCLOS!" Link yelled.
"Link, will you stop saying the wind gods' names in vain?!" Navi yelled.
"No! It's actually Cyclos!" Link pointed to the wind god swirling in the center.
"Woooww…" he heard Ivan gasp.
"Foolish creatures who does not fear the gods! To the end of the sea with you!" Cyclos yelled. "Let the winds of Cyclos's wrath blow you away!"
"Good! He's monologuing! Quick, Link! Now's our—" Navi began. "Link, what are you doing?!"
Link lowered his Pictobox. "Navi, it's a freaking wind god! You don't get a chance like this every day!"
"Oh for crying out looooouuuuudddd!" The trio was blown up into the skies.
Soon, at Four Eyed Reef…
"This one's crap…" Link looked at his Pictographs. "This one is too…"
"Yoou suuuuck… Bleehh…" Navi gargled.
"Hey, this one's not too bad." Link nodded to himself.
"Why can't you just…draw swords like a normal parody fanfiction protagonist?" Navi moaned.
"I thought you said you'd stop comparing me to your Link." Link put away the Pictobox.
"I'm not comparing you… You just suuuckkk." Navi groaned.
"If you want to be friends, the least you could do is take interest in my passion," Link huffed.
"Not when it makes me seasick." Navi sprawled out.
"Navi! Navi!" Ivan zipped out. "Let's make wind castles with him!"
"You mean with Cyclos?" Link raised an eyebrow.
"NO!" Navi snapped reflexively.
"B-b-b-but…" Ivan sounded hurt.
"We have some royal butt kicking to do!" Navi zipped over to Ivan. "When I said nobody bests Mademoiselle Fairy, I meant nobody!"
"Not even wind gods, apparently," Link sighed.
"But-but wind castles…" Ivan whimpered.
"Now, are you done fooling around or are we ready to kick his stormy butt all the way to Termina?" Navi crossed her arms.
"Termites?" Ivan looked confused
"But Pictography is serious busi—" Link began.
"Just answer the question."
"Yes." Link rolled his eyes. "I suppose. If I have to."
"Good. I see a cyclone off there in the distance," Navi said. "Now, let's show him what we're really made of!"
Link lazily lifted his arms in the air. "Hooray…"
Link sighed, pulled out his sail, and cruised off toward the distant cyclone.
It was all too soon when Link felt the blustering winds whip his hair around. Link sighed as he squinted at the roaring windstorm to keep his eyes from drying out.
"CHARGE!" Navi bellowed.
"Hylians really do have a death wish," Cyclos chuckled.
"No, just an extremely competitive side," Link groaned.
"That won't change anything!" Cyclos yelled.
"Just wait and see, punk!" Navi yelled. "Man the cannon!"
Link aimed the cannon and shot bomb after bomb. Cyclos watched with mild amusement as each and every bomb stopped in mid stride, began swirling up, and exploding in the skies above.
"Erm, we've still got arrows!" Navi yelled. "Quick, Link, use your arrows."
"Then let's go on the ride again!" Ivan cheered.
Link sighed and pulled out his bow.
"Har har har! You gonna shoot me down?" Cyclos roared with laughter. "Do you realize how improbable the physics of that are?"
"Screw physics, we've got magic!" was Navi's battle cry.
With that an arrow zipped through the air and hit Cyclos. He remained unscathed despite the onslaught of arrows that rained down on him. The swirling winds died down.
"That was surprisingly easy…" Link paused.
"Oh…" Ivan frowned.
"Ha!" Navi flew up to the Wind God. "In. Your. Face!"
"That's a heck of an arm you've got there!" Cyclos seemed impressed. "And what an eye! No one's ever been able to spot me in there before now!"
Link and Navi raised an eyebrow in unison. "Seriously?"
"Okay, not really, but no one's been able to shoot me down like that." Cyclos smirked. "You obviously have mastery of the air. And now that we've established that you're quite the Wind Waker… Let's see if you can handle this!"
"You know he has the Wind Waker?" Navi asked.
"I'm not complaining." Link shrugged.
Cyclos, on his storm cloud, moved down, right, left, and then up. Link pulled out the Wind Waker and did the same. Do loo do loo da la dee! Link learned the Ballad of the Gales! It's about bloody time!
"Waaaaa-hoooooooooooooo!" Cyclos cheered. "In the hands of a Wind Waker like you, my adorable little cyclones will be as happy as can be!"
"Now we can we make wind castles with him?" Ivan asked.
"No!" Navi snapped.
"Wind castles?" Cyclos raised an eyebrow.
"He has this crazy idea that it's possible to make castles out of wind and water and other stuff," Navi said.
"Challenge accepted." Cyclos cracked his knuckles.
"Exactly, just ign—wait, wait, wait, wait!" Navi yelled.
With a lift of his arms, Cyclos summoned cyclones from all regions of the Great Sea. Link latched onto his hat and Navi clung to the boat for dear life as the sea tornados moved every which way.
"How's that for a castle made of wind, ehh?" Cyclos's voice radiated with pride.
Link stole a peek. Amongst the chaos, Cyclos had positioned the cyclones to resemble a castle.
"Weeeee!" it sounded like Ivan was swirling around in there somewhere too. "Waaaaahooooo! Besstttt wiiinnndd caaastllle eevvveerrrrr!"
"Yes, yes, that's nice!" Navi yelled. "You're amazing and all that! Now can we pleeeeeease just get on with our lives? We're trying to save the world."
"Fine, fine." Cyclos's amused smile didn't leave his face.
With a snap of his fingers, the cyclones flew off in scattered directions. Ivan spiraled down.
"Can we be bestest friends, Mr. Wind Castle Guy?" Ivan flew over to Cyclos.
"Ha, sure thing, fairy," Cyclos chuckled. "You have a great sense of wind about you."
"B-B-But what about me?" Link looked hurt by this statement.
"Ehh, you too, I suppose." Cyclos shrugged.
Link tried to mask his sadness as Navi sprawled out on top of the boat.
"Can…can we get out of here?" Navi belched.
"Sure thing." Cyclos waved. "If you need to move like the wind over the ocean deeps, just call my cyclones. Well, I'll guess I'll head home for now! See you on down the road!"
"Wait, before you go," Link spoke up.
"Yeah?"
"Can I…" Link looked away sheepishly. "Can I get a Pictograph with you?"
"Uh, not sure what that is, but sure?" Cyclos blinked.
Link fist pumped, then handed Navi the Pictobox.
"Now, just look at the lens in the center." Link instructed.
"Lens?" Cyclos asked.
"I hit this button, right?" Navi asked.
"Yup!" Link smiled for the image.
With a satisfying click, Link rushed over and examined his Pictographs.
"This is the best Pictograph ever!" Link could barely contain his inner fanboy. "Let's see Lenzo top this!"
Cyclos stared in silence.
"You can leave to be never seen again, now," Navi said.
"I'll do that," Cyclos said.
With that, Cyclos left on a gust of wind.
"Bye, Castle Man!" Ivan waved.
"I am so framing this!" Link said giddily. "Once I found out how to, that is."
"And he even makes wind castles too!" Ivan hummed.
"Right, I'll just be hanging over the edge trying not to throw up if you need me," Navi said.
"Now, let's go abuse this new technique to death!" Link took a heroic pose.
Ivan started clapping. Navi started to sob.
Some new technique abusing later…
"Huzzah!" Link cheered
"Link doesn't this make you feel sea sick at all?"
"Foolish Navi." Link smirked. "Real men don't get sea sic—urp!"
Link dove for the edge of the boat. He leaned over and let loose.
"I guess you're not…a man, then…" Navi tried to smile.
"It…it was something I ate," Link grumbled.
"Wow!" Ivan gasped. "I didn't know you ate that!"
"Lovely," Navi groaned. "Anyway, where are we?"
Link looked around at the mystical plants and sparkling pond he had just tarnished.
"Maybe we're in that higher up place on Mother and Child Isles," Link pondered. "I told the cyclone to warp us there, anyway."
"What's with this place?" Navi looked around in awe.
"It's the sparkle goo." Ivan stared in awe.
"Ivan, that's not what I—"
"Tee hee hee! Tell me, little boy…" a voice from nowhere asked. "Can you control the wind?"
"Little boy?" Link huffed defiantly.
"Hee hee! So young, to have such power…" the voice chuckled. "How did you know to find me here?"
"Hey!" Link protested.
"That voice…" Navi paused. "Where have I heard it before…?"
A little girl appeared above a rock formation in the center of the pond. The little girl was a light blue, had no pupils, and hair, dress, and eyes all changed colour at the same time. Link and Navi stared up at her.
"Oh? You're here too, Navi?" the girl asked.
"Nope," Navi said. "Still doesn't ring any bells."
"Hi, Aurora!" Ivan waved.
"Aurora?!" Navi gaped. "But we—! Maria—! You were a guardian fairy just like me!"
"Times change, Navi. I am the queen of the fairy world now," Aurora smiled. "Maybe you would be too if you didn't spend all those years in hibernation."
"I knew I should have stayed a Great Fairy…" Navi grumbled.
"What is the matter, my child?" Queen Aurora asked. "Does that not surprise you?"
"By this point I've learned not to ask." Link shrugged.
"Young one… I like you." Aurora smiled. "And so, I shall give you new power to the bow that you wield."
With that, the Fairy Queen held out her hands and two fairies appeared. They flew over and into Link's chest. DUH DUH DUH NUUUUUUHHHH! Link can now shoot Fire and Ice Arrows! Which doesn't look like frozen blood and ice anymore!
"Ahh!" Link felt his chest all around. "This is worse than the flower goo! At least that stuff wasn't alive!"
"Ice Arrows can freeze the hottest flames, and Fire Arrows can melt the coldest ice," the Fairy Queen explained.
A horrified expression fell upon Link's face. "…Or was it?"
"Are you listening?" the Fairy Queen huffed.
Link said nothing, but just stared out into space, expression unchanging.
"He's too busy freaking out right now," Navi said.
"However, feel free to leave a message after the tone." Ivan nodded.
Ivan made his own sound effect.
"…The fairies in this fountain will ease your weariness. Use them as you need to…" Aurora sighed.
"That means they give you free Iced Tea Zero™," Ivan whispered to Navi.
"Ivan…" Aurora turned to Ivan. "I must tell you… You are just my type. Tee hee hee!"
"O positive?" Ivan blinked.
"H-Hey!" Navi huffed. "Watch it!"
"Oh?" Aurora blinked. "Have you finally got together with Ivan?"
"N-No!" Navi said. "He's not my boyfriend! He's just too young to defend himself from other people trying to take advantage of him!"
"He's three hundred and seventy-two." Aurora pointed out.
"That's not the point."
"Can we tell her about our wind castle of cyclone cookies?" Ivan said ecstatically.
"N-No!" Navi huffed. "We've got better things to do! Like saving the world for example!"
"You're just changing the topic." Aurora noted.
"You stay out of this!" Navi snapped. "Link! Warp us away!"
"Doesn't it make you sea—" Link began.
Navi glared at Link. Link sighed and summoned another cyclone with his Wind Waker. The little boat was whisked away.
Link headed to Fire Mountain. He used an Ice Arrow to freeze the spewing lava, hopped inside, and got…DUH DUH DUH NUUUUUUHHHH! Power Bracelets! These golden bracelets can help the wearer pick up items over ten times their size! …Though, they don't enhance your swordsman strength. Lame.
Link then headed to Ice Ring Isle. He used a Fire Arrow to melt away the strange rock in the shape of a dragon that was spitting out freezing winds. Because magic. Link hopped inside and got…DUH DUH DUH NUUUUUUHHHH! Iron Boots! These metal boots are actually separate boots this time, and make you weigh a lot more! Not sure why anyone but Link would want these, but whatever…
Link then headed to Headstone Island. He moved away the large rock that he would have needed Navi's help to move before. Link walked proudly into the cave behind.
"Oi," Navi groaned. "That was a pain. Good thing it happened off screen, otherwise we'd be here for at least eighty more pages…"
"Who's the man?" Link was talking to himself. "You're the man! You're the manliest man to ever man!"
Navi said nothing, but sighed.
"What?" Link asked.
"Can you stop thinking so highly of yourself for once?" Navi asked.
"I do not!" Link protested.
"Says the twelve year old who calls himself a man."
"Well, you're not the one that just climbed into a volcano and an ice cavern of doom." Link grinned smugly.
"Uh, actually, yes. I was with you." Navi said. "But that's not my point."
"You know what I think? I think that you are jealous of me!" Link crossed his arms.
"You're doing it again."
"Doing what ag—Say! Another tune for my Wind Waker!" Link exclaimed. "That makes two over these past few days!"
"We've already wasted that much time?" Navi sighed. "Hyrule is doomed."
Navi looked over to a large stone slab up against the far wall. On it were several markings, similar to the ones she had seen in the Tower of the Gods.
"Let's see…" Link held the Wind Waker pensively. "Down, down, center, right, left, center…"
With some flicks of the baton…Do loo do loo da la dee! Link learned the Earth God's Lyric! It plays during the opening!
"Sweet." Link examined the Wind Waker.
"That's nice, now can we—ack!" Navi let out.
Link turned around and saw the ghost of a Zora.
"Huh, dead people." Link shrugged.
"Yay!" Ivan cheered.
Navi stared at the boy.
"What?" Link asked. "I'm getting used to the whole adventuring thing."
Navi paused. "…You're starting to scare me."
The ghost coughed.
"Right, sorry, go ahead," Navi said.
"O great hero, chosen by the Master Sword! My name is Laruto." Laruto began. "I am a Zora sage. For an age, I offered my prayers here in the Earth Temple, praying that the power to repel evil would ever remain within the Master Sword. And yet…unfortunately, due to Ganondorf's evil designs, the Master Sword you hold has lost this power. After his defeat at the hands of the Hero of Time, Ganondorf was sealed away…"
"Thank you." Navi took a bow. "Thank you."
"…but not for all time." Laruto added.
Link sniggered.
"Oh, be quiet," Navi huffed.
"He was revived, and he returned to Hyrule in a red wrath," Laruto continued. "He attacked this temple and stole my soul, knowing that he had to remove the power contained in that enchanted blade."
"Holy crap, he stole your soul?" Navi's eyes widened. "Okay, being more careful around Ganondorf now."
"Wait," Link said, "if Ganondorf stole your soul, then how are you talking to us? You know, as a disembodied soul?"
"This can only be…" Ivan gasped dramatically. "…the work of the Korgikin Tribe!"
Navi and Link stared blankly at Ivan.
"I knew they were up to their Corgi summoning ways!" Ivan snapped his fingers.
Laruto coughed again.
"Sorry."
"I do not know the technicalities, but I do know that I am dead." Laruto continued. "Dead enough to make the Master Sword lose its power. So, in order to return the power to repel evil to your sword, you must find another to take my stead in this temple and ask the gods for their assistance. You must find the one who carries on my bloodline… The one who holds this sacred instrument…"
Laruto held out her harp. Link, Navi, and Ivan stared at it intently.
"It has a sparkly face on it…" Ivan stared in awe. "Just like Rhapsody's!"
"Come to mention it, it does kinda look like the one Medli has…" Link noted.
"Find Medli, bring her here." Navi noted. "Sounds simple enough."
"Nothing can stop the flow of time or the passing of generations…but the fate carried within my bloodline endures the ravages of all the years." Laruto nodded. "It survives."
"Your descendant is a bird?" Navi asked.
Laruto pretended not to hear. "The song you just conducted is one which will open the eyes of the new sage and awaken within that sage the melody that will carry our prayers to the gods. The—"
"No, I'm sorry, I can't get over that." Navi held up a hand. "How? Just…how?! You're a fish! Shouldn't your descendant be, oh, I dunno, other fish?"
"Evolution, duh." Link said.
"But fish can swim." Navi pointed out. "Zora can swim. Why the crap did the Zora feel the need to evolve into Rito if they're already suited for the Great Sea's environment?"
"Actually, there has been some online debate over that." Link added. "The one theory is that Zora were freshwater beings and couldn't live in salt water."
"But I've seen Zora living by the ocean!" Navi added. "My Link even transformed into a Zora and pretended to be a dolphin!"
"Yes, but I recall that was in another country," Link continued. "So Hyrule's Zora could be completely different."
"Well, Laruto?" Navi asked. "What's the answer?"
There was a pause.
"My…my son…" Laruto turned a funny purple colour. "He had…weird tastes… I…I hoped it wouldn't come up…"
Navi was speechless.
"…Okay then." Link was at a loss for words.
"Do you think the Korgikin were behind this too?" Ivan began looking around for clues.
"…The door that blocks your way will only open when the sage plays that song." Laruto said hurriedly. "May the winds of fortune blow with you."
Laruto vanished. A long and awkward pause followed.
"So, um," Navi chuckled nervously, "wanna go back to Gale Isle and break that place open?"
"Suuurree…" Link chuckled nervously back.
"Ivan, come on."
"But I have to prove that Corgis were here—"
"Ivan, just…just…please." Navi groaned.
"Ohh, okay, Navi." Ivan sighed resignedly.
Link walked stiffly out, the fairies close behind him.
Link stomped triumphantly into the cave on Gale Isle. His hair was a ruffled mess and wore his spiked Iron Boots. Around his ankles were the Power Bracelets.
"Ha ha ha ha!" Link cackled. "I…am…victorious!"
"I'll admit, after all that crap that wind blowing statue put us through, it was immensely satisfying to watch you kick it into a million pieces." Navi admitted.
"I'm so glad I listened to Ivan's advice of making my feet like hammers." Link chuckled.
"We couldn't let the Korgikin Tribe win this time." Ivan nodded.
"I think we were supposed to have a hammer…" Navi paused. "You think that we missed an item in another dungeon?"
"Dunno. But I don't feel like going back and checking." Link shrugged.
"Okay, fair enough."
Link took off the Iron Boots and began putting the Power Bracelets back on his wrists. Navi looked around. Her eyes met a rock slab similar to the one on Headstone Island.
"Say, that's a tune for your wind baton thing, right?" Navi pointed
"Oh, hey, you're right." Link looked up. "Hold on, I'll be right over."
Navi sighed. Ivan flew up to her.
"Navi?"
"Now what?" Navi groaned.
"This is where Saria's cousin lives." Ivan nodded sagely.
"Ivan, think about it. The Kokiri can't leave the forest." Navi explained. "And even if they could, they're all withered tree stumps right now."
"Except Saria and her cousin."
"You know what? Sure. And Saria's cousin," Navi said.
Do loo do loo da la dee! Link learned the Wind God's Aria! It also plays during the opening! And is generally awesome like that.
"Greetings," said a voice from behind.
"Yo." Link turned around. "Are you dead too?"
"Link, what are you talking ab—wah!" Navi let out.
Navi stared at the ghost of a Kokiri.
"Hi, Saria's cousin!" Ivan waved.
"It's been a while, hasn't it, Ivan?" the ghost asked. "How's the campervan I lent you guys?"
"It kissed a tree. Oh, and debt collectors want their money back." Ivan explained.
"Ah, I heard that Saria got into some financial difficulties." The ghost nodded. "Is she alright?"
"Off in graphics land, havin' a good old time!" Ivan exclaimed.
"Ah, same old Ivan." The ghost chuckled.
"I-I-I-I'm sorry, what?!" Navi let out.
"I…I second that notion." Link pointed at Navi.
"Are you the new hero?" the ghost asked. "Ah, then forgive me. I am Fado of the Kokiri Tribe. I know I appear to you as a child, but the eyes can oft deceive. I am a most esteemed sage."
"I-I already heard it from Navi." Link nodded. "You're immortal, right?"
"For the most part." Fado pointed to his transparent body.
"Right, okay, continue." Link nodded.
"I had been praying here so that the power to repel evil would continue to be contained within the blade of the Master Sword… But I was attacked by the evil Ganondorf…"
"Let me guess. He stole your soul too?" Navi asked.
"This is what happened to me," Fado said. He turned to Link. "Tell me. You wish to return the power to your blade, don't you?"
"Uhh… I guess." Link shrugged. "I'm supposed to save the world, anyway."
"In that case, look for the one who has the same instrument that I hold, and teach him the song you just played." Fado held out a violin in his hand. "Once you do, I'm certain that the holder of the instrument will feel the blood of the sages awaken within his veins."
"Annnd, that looks like Makar's cello." Link added.
"…Which he smashed to pieces…" Navi paused.
"That's okay, we'll just trade him a harmonica," Ivan said reassuringly.
"That Wind Waker you hold was used long ago to conduct us sages when you played our song to call upon the gods." Fado pointed to the white stick in Link's hand. "In those days, it was always the king who conducted for us… Please… Tell the king that I will still play…even in the next world!"
The ghost vanished.
"But what about the Great Deku Tree! Is he not more important than any king Hyrule has?" Navi protested. "Why didn't you play for the great tree himself?"
'He didn't want me to,' Fado's disembodied voice answered.
"Saria's cousin taught the Maker!" Ivan gasped.
Link and Navi, looked at each other, then sighed.
"Okay, I guess that means we have to find Makar, right?" Navi said.
"Yup." Link nodded. "And Medli, too."
"Right, well, let's go get them!" Navi nodded decisively.
"Yeah!" Link smiled. "…I just want to do a little bit of exploring, first. For example, I never really explored Forest Haven that thoroughly…"
Navi began banging her head against a wall.
"…And our new cap' doesn't mind if we don't plunder or pillage at all!" Nudge explained.
The other members of Pirates Anonymous leaned closer in their intrigue.
"Not only that, but we can visit land whenever we want, she doesn't mind us havin' these meetin's, and she even has some good tales of her own to share!" Senza enthused.
"That's quite an improvement," Jolene said. "Considering what you told us about your previous captain, this sounds like just what you boys needed."
"Tch." Black Beard spat on the ground. "I think that Tetra lass was the only one with her head screwed on right 'round here."
"What was that, Black?"
"Tis nothin'."
"I miss the plundering." Niko huffed.
"Niko, it ain't your turn to speak yet."
Niko grumbled to himself before swiping Jolene's sword.
"The boys just love her!" Nudge smiled. "Ain't that right, boys?"
Nudge turned to Gonzo and Zuko. Gonzo turned away. Zuko said nothing.
"We're just decoration," Zuko said.
"Yer still mad about that?" Gonzo asked.
"Ahem, that's enough about us." Nudge turned to Black Beard. "What about you, Black?"
"Well, I fought off a Big Octo that threatened an island with bananas—" Black Beard began.
"ALL HANDS ON DECK!" came a yell from above deck. "Eight gulls three hundred meters from our current position! REQUESTING BACKUP!"
Jolene and Black Beard watched as Tetra's crew strapped on some army helmets and ran up the stairs.
"Uhhh…?" Jolene paused.
Zuko lingered a little bit. "You might wanna come too."
"To fight gulls?" Jolene asked.
"You don't wanna know what our new cap'll do to ya if you don't."
Jolene's eyes widened. Zuko shimmied up the stairway.
"On second thought…" Black Beard smirked. "I think I might like this new cap' of theirs after all."
Black Beard charged up the stairs, Jolene following hesitantly after.
Link sailed by Bomb Island with a dreamy look in his eye.
"That…that was amazing…" Link smiled with his mouth hanging open.
"Link, the guy just made figurines. It's nothing special." Navi shrugged.
"They were shiny!" Ivan added.
"But it was figurines based off Pictographs!" Link said giddily. "I can finally have my Pictographs be recognized and preserved!"
"You could just buy a frame and make it a print," Navi said.
"That'd be too expensive," Link said.
"And they wouldn't be as shiny," Ivan said.
"Just think, Navi!" Link hugged his Pictobox. "Now I can have a collection not only in the two-dimensional world, but the third dimension as well!"
"I wouldn't be so sure about that…" Navi said. "That guy at the Nintendo Gallery didn't seem too happy when you attacked him."
"I thought he was stealing my Pictographs." Link crossed his arms.
"You tried to strangle him."
"I was only protecting my rights as an artist." Link nodded.
"That was a weird hug…" Ivan recalled.
"Just sayin'…" Navi sighed. "Anyway, are we going to go see Medli and Makar now?"
"Navi!" Link was aghast. "I just discovered that I can take Pictographs of any living thing and get it made into a fully-fledged colour figurine! And all you can think about are Medli and Makar? You've got to set your priorities straight."
"I take it that's a no," Navi groaned.
"I bet Rhapsody would like Tree Link's shiny things," Ivan pondered. "And then we can trade with the Maker!"
"Exactly. Besides, I've been meaning to find Mesa a bride for a while now and Windfall is the most likely place for candidates."
Navi sighed heavily.
"What?" Link huffed.
"Nothing. Just…just go," Navi said.
Link pulled out his Wind Waker and a cyclone whirled him away.
Some time later…
"So, uh, Link…" Navi spoke up.
"Yes, Navi?" Link bent down and took a Pictograph of a pig.
"It's been quite a while…" Navi bit her lip. "And you haven't really found a bride for that one guy yet…"
"Your point?" Link took a Pictograph of a tall man with a mustache.
"Oh! Oh! Link Frog, take one of me next!" Ivan bobbed up and down.
"I think we should get around to finding Medli and Makar and taking them to the Temples." Navi flew in front of the Pictograph Lens. "You've taken dozens of Pictographs, warped back and forth from Forest Haven several times, and, well, it's been days. We should get going before something bad happens. We don't want to let the King down."
"Right, right, you've got a point." Link sighed. "Alright, we'll go get them."
"Thank you." Navi sighed with relief.
"Just after I deliver this last batch of Pictographs." Link held up a finger.
"Alright, fine, but after that, we're leaving," Navi said.
Some more time later…
"Link?" Navi asked.
"Yes?" Link adjusted the cannon.
"Whatever happened to not letting the King down?" Navi asked.
"I'm on it, I'm on it." Link waved his hand as he shot a bomb at the floating barrel. "I just think I should have some extra Heart Pieces and rupees on hand before setting out to save the world. And Mr. Salvatore's mini game here seems like the perfect way to do that."
"Well, yeah, but…" Navi paused.
The bomb hit the final floating barrel.
"Bulls snout!" Ivan cheered.
Salvatore pulled up a crudely done mask of Gonzo.
"It's the ninja man again!" Ivan gasped in surprise.
"…That's mildly disturbing…" Navi muttered to herself.
"Psssh! Wow! Nice shooting…" Salvatore said gruffly. "But we won't hand over our priceless treasure so easily, yeah?"
"Of course not." Link rolled his eyes.
"Miss! Hey, Miss!" Salvatore looked to the side.
"But I thought he got all the monkeys…" Ivan searched the horizon.
Salvatore put away the Gonzo mask and pulled up a crudely done Tetra mask.
"Gonzo! You're at least an honorary member of my family, are you not?!" Salvatore said in a high pitched voice.
"Cinnamon bun's here too?" Ivan flew back in surprise.
"Okay, that's even more disturbing." Navi gulped.
"Hush, Navi, Tetra and I are busy," Link said.
"So act like it! Don't lose your head!" Salvatore turned to Link. "You're a talented little kid! …I like you!"
"You'd have no reason not to." Link flipped his hair. "I did, after all, take down the Seagull King."
"Link, stop flirting with the man who's pretending to be Tetra," Navi said.
"As we promised, here's our treasure. It's yours, so take it!" Salvatore giggled like a schoolgirl.
DUH DUH DUH NUUUUUUHHHH! Link got a Piece of Heart! Sweetness!
"We should have a party with your crew sometime." Link nodded. "To make up for the time I got left out."
"All right. Nice job and all that…" Salvatore lowered the mask and spoke in his normal voice. "You can leave via the ladder behind you. Climb down in an orderly manner, if you please…"
Link snapped a Pictograph of the man.
"If you're lucky, I might invite you too," Link said.
"Yay! Parties!" Ivan cheered.
"Now can we go get Makar and Medli?" Navi sighed.
"Now we can go and get Makar and Medli," Link replied.
Some more time later…
"Link, can we please go and get Makar and Medli?" Navi groaned.
"Not now, Navi. I'm busy." Link raised his hand. "One hundred fifty on that Joy Pendant!"
"One hundred fifty!" Zunari called out. "A whopping one hundred and fifty! Can you believe it, folks?"
"But I thought we had a whole butterfly farm in your Spoils Bag!" Navi protested.
"Butterflies can farm?" Ivan asked.
"That was before we talked to Miss Marie," Link said.
"Do I hear a one hundred and fifty-two?" Zunari looked over at another auctioneer.
"Four hundred!" Link called out.
Navi banged her head against the auction podium.
An unbelievably long time later…
"Link?" Navi asked.
"Hmm?" Link looked up at the fairy.
"It's been well over a month," Navi said. "We've been traveling across the map, taken Pictographs of the inhabitants of Windfall, Dragon Roost, and Outset, fulfilled so many pointless off screen side quests that I've lost count, and, well, I think it's about time that we get off our butts and actually work on saving the world."
"Just after I got this new cabana?" Link took a sip of some punch and settled back in his chair. "And I thought you said you wanted to rest."
"That's only because I am getting literally tired from all this procrastinating," Navi heaved. "Look, I've been patient, I've been trying my best to respect what you want to do, but now you're just getting on my nerves."
"You're overreacting." Link fidgeted in his chair to get out of the sun.
"This is the future of the world we're talking about!" Navi yelled. "You haven't seen what Ganondorf did to Hyrule after seven years! I bet that just giving him a month will allow him to recuperate tenfold!"
"Your point?" Link set down the glass.
"Friendship is about giving and taking!" Navi yelled. "And if you really want to build our relationship so that I'm not just a nagging companion, you're going to have to do what I say sometimes!"
"Okay, okay, sheesh." Link stood up. "There's no reason to be so angry about it."
Navi sighed loudly.
"Look, I'm sorry, maybe I did slack off a little," Link said.
"A little?"
"Okay, a lot." Link rolled his eyes. "Now let's go."
"Thank you." Navi sighed.
"Can I just deliver this Town Flower to the Traveling Merchant Zunari was talking about?" Link held up the flower.
"Okay, fine, just as long as it doesn't turn out to be the big trading side-quest of this game." Navi sighed.
"Trust me, this won't take any time at all." Link smiled.
Link wandered over to his boat and sailed away.
"Oh, did I mention that there's three of them?" Link asked.
"GAH!"
Cherry-sama: And that wraps up this chapter!
Ivan: And all of it was filler! (dances)
Cherry-sama: Shh! Ivan. I swear I have a point for all this.
Navi: (glares)
Cherry-sama: Trust me!
Navi: Says the writer with the infrequent updates.
Cherry-sama: Shhhh! Anyway, thanks again to Dia and her awesome idea about Cyclos making Wind Castles with Ivan, and as for your question, my favourite type of chocolate is milk. Preferably from Bernard Callebaut. n.n
Toon Link: Uhhh…?
Cherry-sama: Also, she totally kicked your butt at fighting Bokoblins.
Toon Link: Well, I'd like to see her take better Pictographs than me!
Cherry-sama: I bet anyone could take better Pictographs than you.
Toon Link: o.o!
Navi: (whispers) The question?
Cherry-sama: Huh? Oh, right! Anyway, guys, are there any suggestions you have for future insanity in this fic?
Link: I thought you said you might not use them.
Cherry-sama: Well, that's true, but if there are any suggestions for the sequel, Totally Pathetic based off Twilight Princess, I'm all ears, since that one has barely any ideas for it.
Navi: …Are you getting lazy?
Cherry-sama: Erm… No. Uh, please review!