Stef-three months later (nine months pregnant)
I put a piece of bacon in my mouth and poured myself a glass of orange juice.
"Can you please wear a bra?" Brandon asked and I rolled my eyes.
"I will when you start" I said and Lena gave me her look.
"Stef honey you do need to wear a bra" she said and I groaned.
"Why it's not like anyone is gonna be checking me out?" I said annoyed.
"You don't know that please go put one on" She said and I groaned but did as told.
"No one blinked an eye when I was pregnant with you" I said to Brandon before going upstairs.
We finished our breakfast and then took the kids to school before going to our therapist session. This is our second appointment and it's going well. It's good to know that he thinks we are on the right track.
"Hey it's nice to see you guys again" he said.
"You to" I said.
"You close too you're due date yet?" he asked me and I nodded.
"It's tomorrow, and yeah anytime now will be nice" I said and Lena nodded.
"You have everything ready?" he asked and I laughed.
"Probably not" I said and Lena sighed.
"Yes we are ready babe." she said.
"Sure we are, you can never be ready" I said and he laughed.
"No she's right I have three kids wasn't ready for any of them when they were born." he joked and I nodded.
"Anyways so anything in particular you will like to talk about today?" he asked.
"We have been pretty good lately" I said honestly looking at Lena for confirmation.
"Everything is going pretty well right now. Stef haven't had a nightmare in almost two weeks…" she said happily. Ok so that's not true, I had one two nights ago but it wasn't related to what happened so I don't see a reason to correct her. Dr. Golan can see right though me through.
"Is that true Stef?" he asked me.
"Well I had one two nights ago but it wasn't related…" I said and Lena looked over at me.
"What why didn't you say something?" she said and I shrugged my shoulders.
"It wasn't related, I can't even remember what happened anymore" I said and he nodded.
"How do you know it's not related? Dreams can mean something that doesn't appear to be what's going on" he said and I sighed.
"Ok well I can't remember it so I don't know what to tell you" I said and he nodded.
"I want you to keep track of them from now on. Keep a journal of some sort and write the date and as much as you can remember of the dream on it. Try to write it down as soon as you can, so you don't forget anything" he said and I nodded.
"Ok I guess I can do that." I said.
"Good now. Lets talk about the baby" he said.
Lena
I don't know if I'm excited or terrified that Stef's due date is tomorrow. I really hope Brayleigh looks just like Stef, I don't want her looking anything like her terrible birth father. I'm still worried I'm not going to feel connected to her. What if she looks like her dad and is a constant reminder of what happened? How will either of us be able to move past that?
"What about her?" Stef asked putting her hand over her stomach.
"I want to know how you are both feeling about knowing she will be born soon" he said and Stef stretched out rubbing her stomach.
"I'm ready for it, sick of being pregnant" she said and I laughed at her. I agree i'm sick of her being pregnant, I want my not moody wife back.
"What?" she asked and I put my hands up in surrender.
"Nothing just...I agree i'm sick of her being pregnant." I said and she rolled her eyes.
"Oh i'm sorry are you carrying a nine pound baby in your uterus" she said under her her breath and I rubbed her shoulders.
The doctor laughed awkwardly at Stef. He should see her at home.
"What I meant is… are we feeling nervous or worried about anything?" he asked looking at me.
"I'm still worried I won't feel connected to her" I admitted looking at Dr. Golan and not Stef.
"Me too" she said and I looked at her shocked.
"Ok what's making you worried about it?" he asked both of us.
"I told myself that by the time she is born I will be over what happened but i'm not. What if I can't get over it" she said. I should have known she would feel like that. She expects so much of herself and of course she would think she should 'just get over it' by the time she's born.
"It's not something you should expect yourself to just get over." I said taking her hand.
"It happened nine months ago" she said and I shook my hand.
"What happened to you isn't something that's a quick fix. It's going to take a while too be fully 'over' what happened. Certainly not in nine months, especially with your condition added on top of it." he said.
"I have five kids and one very quickly on her way I need to be back to myself for there sake" she said yet again thinking of her kids before herself.
"And you have me, I'm here for you" i said and she smiled at me.
"I know… i'm just saying.." she started but trailed off.
"Lenas right you need to learn it's ok too lean on someone else. The only way to get completely better is to let her help you" he said and she looked down. She has gotten a bit better at letting me help her but she's still Stef. She still expects things from herself that she simply wouldn't expect from other people. She expects herself too just brush it off and walk away from the debris and damage and act like nothing happened. She can't except any type of weakness on her part, mental or physical. It's gonna take a lot of therapy to change that because that's who she is.
"Ok what's scaring you about it Lena?" he asked and she looked over at me.
"I just… I hate knowing how she was conceived and I don't want to think of her that way." I admitted and Stef looked over at me.
"You never could. You are an amazing mother, always have been. You can't possibly not love a child." she said and I smiled at her. I hope she's right.
Callie
Brandon took me too my therapist appointment and i'm dreading being here. Somehow i managed to get myself in the middle of an unwanted love triangle with two people who wanted to kill each other before hand. Melony has thing for me and is obnoxiously persistent and Morgan is the same way. I can't tell if they both really like me or if they just are finding another thing to fight over.
"Hey babe, ready for this waste of our time?" Mel asked and I sighed.
"Mel, please don't call me babe" I said annoyed and Morgan stepped in.
"Would you stop harassing her? Some people aren't dykes" he said and she rolled her eyes.
"Oh yes is it hard too find yourself a boy?" she asked and he looked pissed.
"Ok everyone ready?" the doctor said stepping in between them.
"Lets not fight" he said under his breath and lead us into the room.
"Ok lets start with the introduction circle…" he said and my phone vibrated in my pocket. I know i'm not suppose to answer but my mom is two days over her due date and it's probably about that.
"I'm sorry i should take this" I said and he nodded.
"Hey." I said not even looking at the caller id.
"Hey mom went into labor I'm coming too pick you up" Brandon said. I knew it would be for that. Well that's good news at least, it was getting old dealing with her pregnancy hormones.
"Ok is she ok?" I asked.
"Yeah she will be" he said.
"I was actually asking about Lena" I joked a little seriously.
"Yeah really hopefully she will make it" he joked.
"I'm sorry my mom went into labor my brother is picking me up" I said and he nodded.
"Oh ok congratulations" he said and I smiled at him. I'm really glad I got out of that they are driving me crazy.
Lena
She sat down on the couch and attempted to get herself comfortable. Hopefully this baby comes soon.
"Why aren't you here yet?" she said to her stomach annoyed. I moved over and sat behind her rubbing her shoulders.
"Why isn't she here yet?" she asked her head going against my shoulder.
"I'm sorry babe. She will be here soon." I said hoping i'm telling her the truth.
"Well she can be here now" she said frustrated and I kissed her.
"I know babe" I said continuing to massage her shoulders.
"Ow" she said all the sudden and I pulled my hands away from her shoulders.
"You ok, baby?" I asked and she gripped my hand hard and tried to breathe. Guess she got her wish.
Mariana
I can't believe I'm going to have a little sister. My siblings are torn on whether this is a good thing or not. I understand they are worried this is going to be hard on Stef (the pregnancy was hard on her but she managed) and maybe even Lena but i think it's going too good for everyone. As terrible as what happened to her is something good is coming out of it and i think that's going to be what helps her though it.
The name Brayleigh means Hope and honestly everyone can use a lot of it. I'm hoping she brings hope, it's been needed for a long time. The last year has been hard on everyone. It started with Stef being shot and everything went downhill fast from their. Maybe this is the end of the terrible streak. Maybe everyone will start to have better luck. She is our last hope that everything will be normal again. That and I'm sure she will be so cute.
Hope you like it next chapter Brayleigh is going too here. Which one of the moms are going too have trouble feeling connected too her?