Everyone still holding tight? The ride is just getting started... Thanks for reading and commenting.

Chapter 21

Mercedes had put off coming back for hours, telling herself that Sam needed some space to finish his session with Kali. Really she had been running away, from his harsh words, his angry eyes, his complete disgust. All the warmth he had held for her before, all the feelings of trust and friendship, were gone. Sam turned cold on her, treating her as if she wasn't worth his time.

In the back of her mind, Mercedes had feared the worst, but she had assumed Sam would be more upset about Beth, conflicted about being a father again. She figured he would have anger toward her initially, possibly lashing out at her for not being completely forthcoming about their relationship. She had been right on that one, she just hadn't anticipated the level of anger that he displayed. Sam literally despised her now, seeing her as the worst possible person, a liar and a cheat. He was disgusted by her in every way. Nothing had prepared Mercedes for that reaction.

The hope she had felt just hours before when she thought that maybe they could make it work even if he didn't remember quickly dissipated as she recalled the coldness in his green eyes. Whatever feelings he had been starting to have for her were completely gone now, pushed back to the corner of his mind where he kept all of his memories of her, never to resurface.

Taking a deep breath, Mercedes pushed through the door, determined to face him with her head up. She couldn't let him see how much his words had hurt her.

"What are you doing back?" he asked the moment he saw her, crossing his arms over his chest. The red pajamas he was wearing seemed appropriate for his clearly sour mood.

"I came to get some stuff," Mercedes answered quickly. She went directly over to the dresser and began sorting through her clothes, trying to ignore the feel of his eyes on her back.

"Great. Get it and go," he said gruffly.

"I have to wait until they can move me." Mercedes grabbed a bag from the top drawer and began to fill it with necessities.

"How about waiting outside?"

Mercedes frowned. He was being a jerk and it was uncalled for. She angrily shut the drawer with her arm and walked over to her empty bed across from his. She dropped her bag on the floor before getting into her bed, pulling the covers over her body in an exaggerated motion.

"I'm a patient too. I'm supposed to be in bed."

She had pleaded with her father to let her go home. She tried to get him to see that Beth didn't need to be away from her for another night. Julian wasn't budging. He countered that Beiste was more than willing to take care of Beth. So Mercedes tried to go around her dad, asking any attending physician that would listen to help her. No luck, Julian Jones had them all on his side.

After showering Beth with kisses, and telling her story about her castle in the stars, she reluctantly handed her over to Beiste and made her way back to the room with Sam. At least she wouldn't have to stay the night with him. Her father had assured her she would be placed back in a room of her own.

"Don't give me that. You haven't been in that bed since you were admitted."

Even with his persistent scowl, Sam's dimple was visible. As much as she wanted to wipe that scowl off of his face, she cherished it at the same time. Despite his temperament, Sam was back, and Mercedes couldn't help but be happy about it.

"You're right. I've been in yours," she said cutting her eyes at him.

"Don't remind me," he huffed.

"Why do you have to be like that Sam? So damn nasty. I didn't do anything to you." She'd had enough of his snide comments. She wanted him to just shut up and leave her alone at this point, talking didn't seem to be getting them anywhere.

"Nothing but lie," he responded under his breath.

"For the last time, I wasn't allowed to fill you in." Mercedes wanted to scream, he was deliberately being difficult to piss her off. She was sure of it. He wasn't this stupid, he knew the doctors wanted him to learn things slowly.

"Bullshit. Never did they say don't tell Sam he has a wife. You made that choice on your own."

His voice cracked with emotion as he said the words and Mercedes could feel the anger starting to rise from his body. Every time he brought up their marriage, he reacted this way, it cut her to her core to think that being married to her was the source of his distress. She wouldn't admit it to him, but he was right. They never told her not to tell him. She had made a judgment call, fearing his reaction.

"I didn't want you to have a relapse. I couldn't take the risk."

"Be honest with me, if you're even capable of that." He turned on his side to look her fully in the face. "It wasn't about my health, it was about being scared I would reject you, wasn't it?"

Mercedes dropped her head at his question. "I was worried about your stress levels, elevated blood pressure is no good for you," she said not willing to meet his eyes.

"That didn't answer my question."

A part of her had been worried he would be disappointed that she was his wife, but after the night they had spent together, she had convinced herself those fears were unfounded. She should've stuck with her first instinct.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked blinking back the tears that were starting to fill her eyes. She was determined not to let him get to her this time.

"I want you to admit that because I woke up not remembering you and looking for Quinn, that you decided to hide the fact we are married."

So cold and direct, his green eyes bore through her like a detective doing an interrogation. Mercedes couldn't figure out why he needed to hear the answer to that question, he had made it clear that she meant nothing to him. What did it matter if she were upset about his feelings for Quinn?

"It wasn't like that. I genuinely was concerned about your health." She had held on to the belief that Quinn wouldn't be a factor between them for as long as she could, but with each passing day she saw that would not be the case. Quinn was all Sam could think about. "I wanted to tell you about us so many times."

Sam rolled his eyes in disgust, turning away from her. "You'd think you could have found a moment last night. I guess you were too busy trying to get some from me to speak up."

"You make it sound so dirty. We connected last night. It wasn't about getting some and you know that."

Then it finally clicked, he wasn't asking questions to prove she was jealous of Quinn. He was asking to prove to himself that Mercedes had actually wanted more than sex from him. He wanted to know if last night had just been a scam or something real they had both felt. A surge of power shot through her body, and Mercedes sat up with renewed confidence. This coldness was just a mask, Sam was still feeling something for her somewhere. Mercedes mentally scolded herself for being so silly to think otherwise, she knew him almost as well as she knew herself. She had let her emotions throw her off. Sam may not remember her, but he still was the same man she had always known.

"I think you figured that if you got me all caught up in you, I would forget all about Quinn." He was trying to push her buttons, knowing from their past encounters that any reference to sex would make her react.

A small smile settled on her face. "Actually I try to think about Quinn as little as possible."

His eyes widened in surprise. "Isn't that a little difficult, since she is the mother of my baby?"

Mercedes shrugged. "She hasn't been much of a mother."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam asked narrowing his eyes at her. He was gearing up to get defensive, as he always seemed to do lately when Quinn was mentioned.

"I take care of Beth."

Maybe subconsciously she wanted to prove to him her value, her place in his daughter's life, and in his. She wasn't trying to stick it to Quinn, although she was sure Sam was taking it that way, she just felt that she should be standing up for herself.

"Well that's only while she's sick."

"She's been sick Beth's whole life. She tried to kill herself."

"What?" His face turned a shade paler and his mouth dropped in shock. Mercedes's gut twisted at his reaction. She reached out to touch him, to comfort him, but thought better of it and let her hand fall. "It's hard for me to imagine that things were so bad for her."

"Maybe I shouldn't have just blurted it out like that. I didn't mean to be insensitive." Sam was sitting across from her in pain, his green eyes clouded with hurt and confusion, all because of the woman that helped wreck their marriage. Yet she still wanted to hold him. She was so pitiful.

"I'm glad you told me. I needed to know." There was so much more Sam needed to know, but Mercedes held her tongue.

"Yeah. She's in the hospital for a reason."

"I guess I should be thanking you, for looking after Beth."

"I don't need your thanks. I love her," said Mercedes.

Mercedes had loved Beth before she was born, so excited to have a new addition to her makeshift family. Puck was like a brother, so she was more than ready to be Aunt Mercedes to his child. When she found out that she was Sam's daughter the love actually grew. She could admit that to herself now, she loved Beth all the more because she was a part of Sam. The love she had for her father just naturally spilled over to the baby. Not that Beth wasn't lovable in her own right, she absolutely was, but her feelings ran so much deeper because of her connection to Sam.

"Even still, you didn't have to do it. So I just want to say I appreciate it," said Sam giving her a sideways glance.

"I'd do anything for her," she said pausing, her eyes drifting over toward Sam. "For her father too." Their eyes locked and for a moment they remained, searching each other's faces for answers.

Mercedes could see that Sam was pondering what she said. He opened his mouth as if he were going to speak, but quickly closed it again, looking away. There was a time when Mercedes could look into his eyes and see nothing but pure love there, one look and he made her feel like the most important person in his life. Now she was only left to contemplate cold green, any flickers of connection, were now quickly extinguished by him as he blocked her from him at every turn.

"I don't get why you feel that way," he said finally. "Obviously I cheated on you with Quinn."

"I guess I am a glutton for punishment," she said trying to joke with him. She didn't like where the conversation was heading, she didn't want relive all the reasons why she shouldn't care, why she should have walked away months ago, long before the crash.

"Come on, can you be straight with me please?" he asked.

"It was a complicated situation. I don't know if I should be going into it with you yet."

She didn't even know how she could begin to explain their complicated history. She was still trying to make sense of it herself.

"Kali says I should ask Quinn about it," said Sam fidgeting with the collar on his pajama top.

"Seems like good advice."

"That only gives me half the picture though. I want to know your side."

She looked up in surprise. Mercedes thought her feelings were obvious to him. "I forgave you."

"I know you were divorcing me before the accident." He eyed her warily, seeming unconvinced. "Did you just forgive me because I was in a coma?"

"No. I actually forgave you before you were in a coma."

"Was this before or after you filed for divorce?" Sam asked.

Mercedes felt harassed, like he was grilling her until he found an answer he wanted to hear. She wanted him to care, she hoped he wanted to know about their life together, but not like this, not like he was accusing her of something.

"Why do you even care Sam? You made it clear earlier all you want is to be with Quinn."

"I need my life to make sense. I find out I have a child with Quinn but we aren't together. And I find out I'm married to you but you were going to leave me but now…"

"I don't want to go," she said completing his thought.

"So what changed? You said you forgave me, but I feel like there might be more to that."

"Watching the man you love comatose in a bed for nine months puts things in perspective you know? Some things just didn't seem important anymore."

"Even me having a baby with someone else?"

"Like I said, it's complicated," said Mercedes bowing her head.

The hospital room door opened and head nurse Cheryl came bustling through.

"Mercedes, I didn't know you were still in here."

"Yeah I am waiting for my room to be ready. What's up?"

"I just came in to give your husband over there his first shot at ice cubes," said Cheryl gesturing toward Sam. "His doctors want him to slowly get back on solid foods."

Mercedes turned to address Sam, a huge smile on her face. "That's great Sam. That means you are improving."

"Does that mean I will get to go home? I'm tired of this place," said Sam, almost whining.

"That's up to your doctors, but if you keep going like you are, I'm sure you will be out of here soon," said Cheryl. She handed the plastic cup of chipped ice to Mercedes. "Since you're here, you can take care of this right?"

"UH sure," answered Mercedes uncertainly. She didn't know if Sam would be willing to take any treatment from her at this point.

"Great! I have to get back to the 5th floor. Mr. Walters is having a crisis."

"Again?" Mr. Walters was the patient from hell. Everyone had a horror story about him.

"It was strained pea day," said Cheryl.

Mercedes groaned. "So glad I'm not working."

"I bet you are. You always seem to be his prime target. Peas in your hair every time," said Cheryl laughing quietly.

"Don't remind me. One problem patient is enough for me these days," she said throwing Sam a look.

"Well I will leave you to it. You two take care."

"Bye Cheryl." She watched the woman leave, before turning around in her bed to face Sam. "So are you going to make this hard or what?"

"It's just ice. I think I can handle it on my own. I don't need a nurse for that," he said reaching for the cup.

Mercedes shook her head. "We have to get you used to swallowing again. I don't want you aspirating on my watch, so I will be holding your hand through it all."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Fine, let's get on with it. I'm actually kind of thirsty,"

"Not surprising by the amount you have been running your mouth lately. I bet your throat is throbbing and raw."

"I'm fine. Come here with that ice."

Mercedes got up and walked over to his bed, stopping right in front of him. Sam opened his mouth and closed his eyes waiting for her to put some ice on his tongue.

"Not like that. You need to hold it while you suck it at first, until you get the hang of it." Sam opened his eyes and watched her as she dug a piece of ice out of the cup. She put it in front of his lips, holding her hand there so that he could lean forward and suck on the piece of ice. He hesitated, eyeing her uncertainly, before letting his lips close over the ice and her fingertips. "Take it slowly," she said. She felt his tongue swirl along her fingers and she almost dropped her hand, feeling stirred by the sensation. It didn't take much for Sam to get to her, he could drive her crazy with just a look.

"Can I get another piece?" he asked startling Mercedes from her thoughts.

She picked out another chip of ice and handed it to him. "I think you can do it on your own this time."

She sat beside him on the edge of the bed, handing him ice chips as he devoured them one by one. It was pretty safe to assume Sam had mastered swallowing. She would have to tell the doctors how well he was doing with it.

"So do you normally put your fingers in patients' mouths and let them suck ice?" asked Sam, popping a piece of ice in his mouth. He had forgone the whole holding it with his hands technique at this point.

"I use a spoon usually."

"I just get special treatment."

"Perks of being married to a nurse. You get hand fed ice and extra special sponge baths."

He raised his eyebrows. "Sponge baths? You gave me those?"

"I wouldn't let just anyone get that up close and personal with my man."

"Another thing I should probably thank you for. I'm not sure I like the idea of Marcel being that intimate with me."

"I am sure Marcel would be very gentle." She chuckled lightly. "All done?" she asked sitting the cup on the table between their beds. "I wonder what's taking so long?" asked Mercedes looking toward the door. "I thought I would be in my room by now."

"Eager to get away from me? Sam asked.

"You're the one that insisted I get out. Remember that?"

He sighed heavily. "I may have been a tad rude."

"Just a tad."

Mercedes pulled her tube of chapstick from her pocket, opening it and rubbing her finger across its slick surface. She placed her finger on Sam's lips, rubbing the moisturizer across them.

Sam leaned away from her in surprise. "What are you doing?"

"Oh sorry." She looked down, her cheeks warming in embarrassment. "Habit. I always did this for you. Keeps your lips kissable."

"Was I doing much kissing while in a coma?" he asked with a hint of amusement. He poked out his lips, indicating Mercedes could continue with the chapstick.

She shook her head sadly, tears clinging to her lashes. "Not much. Only in my dreams." She hastily wiped away the tears, not daring to look up at his face. She couldn't bear the disgust she would undoubtedly find there. She got up and went back to her bed, only looking at him once she was safely under her covers.

"If I ask you a question, will you answer me honestly?" he asked quietly, his head propped on his elbow, his eyes seeming to study her.

"Sam you know I am following the doctors' orders."

"Don't do this to me Little Nurse." Sam ran his hand roughly through his cropped hair in frustration. "Forget about the doctors. This is between you and me. It's so crazy. Yesterday I would have trusted you with almost anything."

"You still can trust me."

"Prove it," Sam said.

"What do you want to know?" Mercedes asked.

She owed him this much. They had gotten too close last night and she should have been brave enough to tell him they were married. Maybe if she gave him some answers, it could make up for that somehow. Even if she had to tell him about Shane, about the voicemail, about him and Quinn, she could do it. She could face it all for him. She had to, he needed her to.

"What happened to me? How did I end up in a coma?"

Mercedes' stomach churned. He had just asked the one question she never wanted to answer.