A/N: Still on the emotional roller coaster. Just letting you know. Also, thank you all for reviewing and PMing, it's been a great font of ideas.
Noto Battleground -Oarai Main Tent – Afternoon
When the tank commanders came out, they went to their respective teams and took them some distance away from each other. There was a lull before the shouting began.
The entire team was in an uproar. Protests and blaming; all sing the sad refrain 'let Miho lead again.' The commanders did their best to explain it to them. On why Rirko had to kick Miho off the team. For the good of her physical and emotional well-being. To keep the team safe from any missed steps on her part.
For ten minutes, the air was filled with cries of resentment, sadness, confusion. The lynchpin that held the team together was now gone. Some were also concerned about the level of skill Yukari could give as acting captain of the team. The chain of command was explained once again and their obligation: to follow all orders and to respect the chain of command.
In the end, the judge called for all participants to come back to the centre to discuss if the match can resume. Other officials thought it best to cancel it because what happened, and others still wanted to see it through for the sake of the spectators and participants.
The team went on their way, grumbling all the while.
Noto Battleground -Inside Oarai Main Tent – Afternoon
Rirko took a breath while waiting outside. The nurse arrived to do a physical assessment on Miho. When finished, he took a seat inside of the tent. As expected, she was physically fine. Emotionally, however, was a different story. While the nurse was checking Miho's vitals, he thought about Maho and what her reaction would be if he didn't tell her of the events that unfolded.
Taking out his phone, composing a new message and setting Maho as the receiver. He wrote a message:
"Miho has been relieved of duty due to being emotionally compromised. I thought I'd let you know."
Setting his phone down, he waited for the shitstorm to come in the form of angry voicemails, hysterical yelling and demanding of explanations. Oddly enough, however, it never happened. Ten minutes passed, then thirty? Rirko watched as the nurse asked Miho questions about her health history with her nodding and shaking her head. She didn't do much talking. On the odd time, he caught her taking a glance at him for a brief second before turning her attention back to the nurse.
After the assessment, the nurse took Rirko aside to speak with him privately.
Rirko was expecting some sort of bad news. "Well?"
"I can't find anything wrong physically. Other than her rapid heartbeat and chest pain, she's fairly in good health."
"I could have told you that. Go on."
"She's been through a lot. Saving another student like that while tank shells are exploding everywhere. It's not a scene that anyone should go through, let alone a young girl like her."
"Yeah."
The nurse packed up her equipment. "Should anything happen, send one of the volunteers to the nurse's desk. We'll be here in less than five minutes." She bowed and left.
Miho had calmed down, considerably. There were some sniffles and shaking. One would think she would be happy with her clean bill of health, but considering she was no longer at the helm made her less optimistic. Rirko didn't want to talk to her right now. She needed to make sense of what had happened and what can be done for the future. He got up, Miho shot a glance at him.
"I'm going to be right outside of the tent. I'll stick around until your friends get back, alright?" He wanted to reassure her that everything will work out. He had his share of crises. But with someone who had gone through the things, she's gone through and still stand. That took a lot of moral courage.
Accepting the answer, she laid on the cot, turned over and tried to sleep.
Bringing the chair outside, Rirko rechecked his phone. No answer. "If she loves her so much, then why isn't she answering?" Putting it away, he stared into the grey sky. The snow had slowed considerably, but it was still snowing. The sun was going down, as well. He was about to take a nap before he saw something in the distance.
It was a figure, and it was running.
Noto Battleground – Battlefield – Volunteer Area
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN WE CAN'T SEE HER?!" Anchovy's voice exploded on the battlefield. Carpaccio and Pepperoni held her back, while she was trying to get at a group of volunteers, blocking their path.
When the captains and their auxiliaries tried to go to the Oarai tents proper, they were stopped by security. They needed permission from the judges to gain access. However, the judges were dealing with the fallout of the match, so permission was relegated to the head volunteer of the Noto Battlegrounds. He was a stickler for proper rules and protocols and when Darjeeling tried to reason with him, he disrespectfully refused them. It was then Anchovy, who was annoyed by the runaround, snapped.
The head volunteer spoke, in a stern tone. "Rules are rules. If you're not a participant, you don't have permission to enter! A protocol must be followed!"
"She's our friend! We have to know if she's okay!" Kay was just as relied up, but she was trying her best to restrain herself. Which was surprising, given her personality.
"That's right! So, move your ass over or we move right through ya!" Alisa was ready to go as well, but Naomi stopped her.
"Don't get carried away, stupid. If you do that, then we're all screwed." This fact made Alisa calm down. The volunteer sighed, knowing that he made a blunder by disrespecting them. Hence, all of Anchovy's drama. He tried to back peddle his way out of his predicament.
"I am sympathetic to your situation, I truly am. But only participants and family members can visit. I can send someone to check up on her. But that's the best I can do. I'm sor-"
"PEZZO DI MERDA, FIGLIO DI PUTTANA!" Anchovy cried and spat on the ground. Darjeeling and Mika jumped in front of her.
"Get her out of here!" Darjeeling ordered. She was tired of Anchovy's antics. Carpaccio, Pepperoni, and Orange Pekoe took her away, with Assam standing in between just in case she got free. Darjeeling looked at the volunteer, who shook his head. They were not going to get their audience. Defeated, Kay returned with her girls and joined Mika and Darjeeling.
"God f***ing damnit." Kay shook her head slowly. Naomi and Alisa came to comfort her. She was frustrated that her friend was in trouble and she couldn't do anything because of red tape.
Rikka and Aki stood there, watching the entire event unfold.
"What now?" Aki asked. "We can't see Commander Nishizumi.
Rikka shrugged. "You're asking the wrong girl."
Darjeeling thought for a moment. "Any ideas, Assam?"
Pondering for a bit, she came up with a suitable answer. "We can find out where's she staying and see her then."
"Agreed. Let's ask the rest of the Oarai girls where she would be staying. Hopefully, we'll be able to see her before they leave."
They wouldn't be able to see Miho today. But for tomorrow, they resolved to support her in any capacity.
As they walked back to the main assembly area, in the distance, everyone could hear Anchovy still screaming.
Noto Battlegrounds – Main Desk – Afternoon
"Almost half of the spectators are gone, what's the point?"
"The point is that they must finish the fight!"
"This is a practice match, not a tournament. If it was a tournament, then I would understand."
"It's not happening."
"Yes, it will!"
The five judges had an animated discussion to restart, continue or postpone the match. Both Pravda and Oarai teams gathered in front. Yukari, Momo and Nonna were there as well.
Pravda felt sorry about the situation. Although it wasn't intentional, they still thought that they should have kept a better eye on the tank more. If they did, then Hoshino wouldn't have gotten hurt. Oarai held no ill will towards them, however. It was an accident. Pure and simple.
The judges continued their discussion. Yukari whispered to Nonna. "Where's Katyusha? Should she be here?"
Nonna was lost in thought. "Nonna?"
"Yes?" She snapped out of her stupor.
"Where's Katyusha?"
"Da., It seems she has run off somewhere. She'll be back." Yukari wondered where she went.
Just then, Shiho appeared…by herself. She was cross.
"What are you all doing?" she asked coldly. "Why is this decision taking so long?" Yukari and Nonna looked at Shiho. It was the first time they both laid eyes on her. At once, the boisterous judges were timid.
"Forgive us, my lady. We're getting the facts straight and we'll-"
"This is taking far too long," Shiho mumbled. She crossed her arms and thought for a moment. Then, she spoke again. "The match is cancelled. End it. Now."
Both teams looked at each other. Then, the shouting began.
"Oarai is entitled to a fight, regardless of what happened."
"I can't believe this; can she make an arbitrary decision like that?"
"Our friend got hurt because of this match; it's only right to see it through!"
"That's bullshit! What's the point of having a match if the decision is forced upon?!"
Even Pravda had their grievances:
"Cyka Bylat! We are to finish until the end!"
"We fight on the battlefield of Sensha-do. How dare you bring your western politics into this!"
"This is an outrage!"
"SILENCE!" The teams stopped the chatter immediately. All was silent once again. Shiho's command froze them all in place.
"Look around! This entire exercise was a waste of time! Are you all so foolish into wasting more of your resources over some trivial outcome?"
The girls did look. There were only a few people in the bleachers now, and their tanks…most of them anyway were broken and in need of repair.
"Know when to cut your losses. It is more than tanks you've lost, is there?" She turned to Oarai. "You will have your fight with Pravda again. But not today."
Shiho did make a good argument. Both teams didn't say anything. She nodded towards the judge. Understanding, she picked up the microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen. A decision has been reached. By order of the chair of the Sensha-do Federation, the match has been cancelled. I repeat-"
The teams shook hands and even hugged each other. Although the match was in Pravda's favour, it was more of a pyrrhic victory. The time Pravda's girls spent with Oarai made them close.
Yukari met up with Anglerfish, with Nonna in tow.
"Should we go back to Miporin?"
Yukari agreed. "I'd like that."
"We should go get her. The bus leaves in a few hours."
Hana looked at Nonna. "Where's Miss Katyusha? Is she alright."
Nonna gave a gentle smile. "I'm sure Katyusha hasn't left the battlefield. Me and the girls will search for her."
"Tell her we look forward to our rematch," Yukari said, with a smile.
Nonna only nodded. As she walked towards the Pravda girls, Anglerfish headed towards their main camp. That was, until…
"You girls. I'd like to speak with you." Anglerfish turned to see a stoic Shiho headed towards them. Freezing in place, they all wondered what she wanted with them.
Noto Battleground -Oarai's Main Camp – Afternoon
Maho was running towards the camp. Rirko stood up. Once she saw him, she made a beeline for him. She panted, out of breath.
Rirko figured what she wanted. It was always the same. Before she said anything, he shushed her and pointed to the tent. Nodding, she peeked in. There was Miho, asleep, exhausted from everything that had happened.
Rirko offered her his chair. After a minute, she sat down.
"I saw what happened…and I read what you did." Maho had a hint of sadness in her voice.
"Do you hate me?" Rirko asked. She shook her head.
"No. You did what you thought best." Maho started to shutter a little. After a while, she said something. "You know, I wasn't near her when it happened."
"What happened?"
"When Miho saved the drowning tank. I only heard about it." Kuromorimine. So, she wasn't even a witness? She just went with whatever was reported? "When I faced her last year, I only heard about her saving one of her team's tank from another river." She chuckled slightly, "even now, I can't help but be proud of her. Her and her selfless heart."
Rirko saw Maho's face brimming with pride. But, it quickly turned dark and sad. "But when I saw her, on the ground, saving her friend…I…She went to her without any hesitation and tended to her. Then, she collapsed. Holding her chest…in pain…"
Rirko noticed that Maho's words were beginning to be drawn out. She apparently had trouble talking about it.
"Are you okay?"
Only silence. But Maho's non-verbals made it abundantly clear that she was not okay. Downcast eyes, a hand clenched on each leg of her skirt her silence. Of course, he took notice.
"I will manage."
"Really?" Rirko asked curiously, pointing at her. "Because, to me, that is not managing."
Maho didn't hide her feelings well. Rirko had sensed that something was amiss.
She shook his words off. "That's not important right now. Right now, the only thing I care about is Miho's well-being. In short, I am perfectly fine."
"You are not fine. You are just as affected by this whole situation as Miho is. With good reason. Your sister almost died out there. There are emotions that you are feeling right now, but you insist on playing the plain doll and not show them."
She had feelings. She had emotions. But her duties as a Nishizumi didn't afford her that luxury. To show passion is to show weakness. And to prove weakness was to invite defeat. That's what she was taught. To prevail, one must cast out all failings…even if it meant denying one basic human instinct.
One problem: Maho was at the point of breaking. To deny emotion was to deny one's self entirely. Each day.
Rirko was undoubtedly direct with her, but in his experience in dealing with Maho, he knew she wouldn't have wanted to 'beat around the bush.' Unfortunately for him, she would not entertain him any longer. "I have nothing more to say to you."
Rirko scoffed. "It's no wonder you don't care."
At that moment, something set her off. The accusation that she didn't care. She started to shake in anger and rose from her seat slowly. Maho glared at him, and Rirko stared back. It was a showdown.
"How dare you…How dare you say that to me! I care about Miho's happiness and well-being! I care about her having a future! I care because no one else will! Why else would I be here?!"
"Could have fooled me," Rirko shrugged. "If you truly cared, then we wouldn't be in this mess, would we!?"
"What do you mean!?"
"If you cared…then you would have said something back then, wouldn't you?"
He was referring to the time after the Kuromorimine/Pravda match. When Miho got scolded for saving the lives of her tank mates. Maho had the opportunity to say something. But she didn't.
She was upset that Rirko would have the nerve to call her loyalty into question, just like Miho.
Rirko crossed his arms. "I know for a fact that you sacrificed your happiness for an outdated ideal. That you would dedicate yourself fully to something, you didn't even want! That after all this time, you would still not understand! To feel is to be human! To not, is to die!" He became filled with passion for Maho's well-being. No longer thinking about the sleeping Miho, his ideals of a healthy lifestyle were on the line. Maho rejected her emotions to be the perfect Nishizumi heir. Like her mother always wanted. He knew she deserved better. But the question was: did she?
"My happiness…my feelings, are trivial, they mean nothing."
"Wrong. By saying it's nothing, it invalidates you as a person. So, are you a person? Or just an extension of someone else?"
"I am my own person. My thoughts and feelings are my own."
"Really? Then please tell me how, on God's green earth, did you arrive at the conclusion that both you and Miho had to suffer for x number of years for the 'sake of the Nishizumi style'? That doesn't sound like something you'd do freely, huh?"
"I had no other choice!"
"You've always had a choice! You said it yourself, your feelings and thoughts are your own. Yet, you let others trample it on the ground and act as if it means nothing to you! We both know it's a total lie."
"It is not a lie! It's what I truly feel!"
"And if you think I believe that crap, you must really think me stupid! I've seen the evidence! You're cracking. And there's no way you can hide that no matter how hard you try!"
She tried to think about a rebuttal, an excuse, anything to make him stop talking. But every time she did, he countered with something so profound that she had no choice but to accept.
"Anything else, Maho? Why are you stopping? I thought the style taught to never back down? Is your silence an admission of defeat?"
He then had the nerve to dishonour the family name now. But she knew that he was only baiting her. He wanted her to speak some more. She had enough.
"Why?" She whispered. "Why are you doing this to me? Why are you acting as if you care?"
She then noticed that Rirko had tears in his eyes. "Because…I DO care! And because you know about a lot more than what you're letting on! I just want you to trust me enough to tell me!"
His words…the words Rirko used just now. Maho gasped in surprise and was reminded of that instance:
"Why are you getting worked up over this?!"
"Because I care! Because you know the reason for all of this. I just want you to trust me enough to tell me!"
This is how Miho felt when Maho confronted her about her initial attack? Trapped in a corner, afraid of what would happen if the truth got out? She understood now why Miho couldn't tell her then. It was the same reason that started this entire saga.
She was scared.
Exhausted, Maho sat down again. Eyes are looking down, sitting and thinking. Was this what Miho was feeling all this time? Day in and day out, keeping a healthy high school life, being a captain of a national Sensha-do team and trying to be the emotional anchor for everyone? Rirko was just as exhausted. He sat on the snow-covered ground.
Both studied each other. Maho saw Rirko's eyes were red. But there was something more than that. In his eyes, he saw sadness. Genuine sadness. For her?
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Why? Because of all the things you said?"
He nodded. "That. And because of the situation, you're in. Here you are trying to care for your sister. Who's taking care of you?"
Rirko genuinely wanted to help. If Miho had put her trust in him, then she would do the same. Collecting herself, she began to tell how she felt when the incident occurred.
"When I saw what happened, I was horrified. Then I turned to mother. She showed no emotion at all! Her daughter was on the ground, writhing in pain, and she felt nothing. Then, she had the audacity to tell me that she was going to deal with the situation on the ground! No mention of Miho, her own daughter!"
Rirko silently listened to her. She was spilling out her true feelings.
"She loved us once. Why did she forget? Is the mother I knew even still there? I don't know and quite frankly…I don't even care anymore! I wish…I wish I could just go somewhere far away. To never deal with my mother, my responsibility, my sad life!"
"But there's something holding you back, isn't there. Someone?"
She nodded. Both knew who she was referring to.
"You must hate her."
Maho sighed. She was going to say something that she never told anyone before. Her true feelings for Miho. "I sacrificed much to make her happy because she makes me happy. I'm angry and sad…because she left me alone. But no…no, I don't hate her."
"Seeing her smile, seeing Miho live her life the way she wants. Not having to worry about being a Nishizumi heir. How do you feel about that?"
"… … …I'm jealous. I want that. She has everything I could ever want. If she wants something, she could just reach it and take it."
"…she's free."
She sighed heavily, slowly looked at him with tear-filled eyes. Her voice was disjointed. "… …I want that too. I want to be free too."
Rirko hid his tears from her. What she just said. A young woman trapped by the burden of a matriarch's wish. She thought she would never get that wish. To be free like her sister.
"Maho. If you want it. Go get it."
She looked at him, wiping the tears away. "What?"
"You have the power in yourself to fulfil that wish. Don't wait for someone to come to your rescue. Use your own power to make it happen."
"I can't. I…can't."
"You can. Just like your sister, you are both so smart and brave. Forget house and bloodline. Forsake your ordained path built by those before you, if you so wish. Forge yourself a new and better path. Just like your sister."
Miho had the strength to make her own way. The power that Maho wished for. She didn't realize that power was always within her. All she needed to do, was reach for it.
Getting up, Rirko dusted himself off. "I'm taking a walk. You're here so it'll be fine. Just let one of the volunteers know if something's up and they'll have a nurse take care of you."
Maho nodded in acknowledgement. "Thank you."
"Hmm…" Putting his hands in his pockets, Rirko walked away from the main camp. Maho entered to see if Miho was still sleeping. Inside, her back was turned away…but she was shaking. Maho also heard soft sobs.
Maho was heartbroken, but she expected it. Rirko was practically yelling out there. She sauntered to Miho and knelt beside her. She gently put her hand on her shoulder. At once, Miho put her hand on hers. It was wet.
"Miho." Both wept for one another.
But did Miho hear?
Noto Battlegrounds – Main Desk – Afternoon
"So, you are the friends that Ami and Maho spoke highly of."
Shiho stopped Anglerfish while they were heading back to the main tent. Each girl studied the stoic woman. Her arms were cross, and her eyes made them feel she saw right through them. Shiho wanted to see what Miho saw in them.
Saori refused to be intimidated. "That's right. Miporin is our friend."
"…Miporin? What kind of a name is 'Miporin'? Is that Miho's nickname?" Shiho raised an eyebrow at the name.
Hana bowed. "Indeed, Lady Nishizumi. That is the name Saori calls Miho by."
"Hmm…you are Yuri's daughter, right? Hana?"
"Yes. I am Hana Izusu, heir to the Izusu lineage. My friends Mako Reizei, Saori Takabe and Yukari Akiyama. They also serve with Miho on the Sensha-do team." They all bowed together not because they wanted to, but because of proper manners.
Shiho probed a bit more. "Tell me; you girls seem to be smart for your age. Why worry yourself with Miho?"
Yukari and Saori took offence but didn't show it. There was no question of why they worry on Miho. "Miss Nishizumi is kind, strong and brave. She cares about her team and treats them as equals. If today's any indication, she would risk her life for them."
Shiho recalled the moment when Miho saved Hoshino's life. A part of her was proud, but the more significant part of her was displeased that she would put herself, and by extension, her team at risk.
"Miho has helped each and every one of us. We owe it to her." When it came to Miho, Mako was wide awake. There was no mistake; each girl would not be intimidated by Shiho, regardless of her status.
"Miho. Caregiver, confidant, selflessness, honour." Shiho could list all the qualities that Miho had. But when compared to the accomplishments of her sister, there was no comparison.
"Miporin has not only the respect of the team but the other teams as well!"
"What does that mean?"
"It means the other schools want to be around her! People follow her faithfully. That's saying something, especially about her leadership skills."
"Miho, the respect of the other teams? She's making friends in all sorts of places. It's to be expected. She is a Nishizumi after all. Being a strong leader is in her blood."
"With respect, Lady Nishizumi, it's more than that."
"Oh? What meaningless babble is this girl on about?"
Hana could get away with speaking her mind due to her relationship with her mother. But that didn't cross her mind. What did was that Hana wanted to make Shiho see her daughter for more than a Nishizumi heir.
"When she first arrived in Oarai, she was alone. We met her and gave her a chance to meet others. Not only did she take that chance, but also helped those around her to be confident in their own abilities. Her experience proved invaluable to us. Not only that, she listened to everyone around her and developed new bonds due to her kind and caring personality."
"What are you trying to say, Hana Isuzu?"
Hana took a breath. While impudent, she believed in Miho. "What I am saying is that Miho is more than a Nishizumi. She is not only our friend, but everyone she has met can call her a friend. Even her rivals. There so much to her. You, of all people, should know that."
"What is this idealistic garbage?" Shiho was going to open her mouth about having proper manners, but she glossed through Anglerfish's eyes.
Each of them held a fierce look, as if ready to attack. They weren't just saying these things, they believed in it. Miho was their friend, and these strong-willed girls would defend her if need be.
Shiho closed her eyes. "Very well. Let's leave it at that then. Do as you wish."
"By your leave, Lady Nishizumi." The girls bowed and continued their way, leaving an amazed Shiho to ponder on their loyalty.
"What does Miho mean to them? Why do they care? They know of the burden they will carry and, yet they will willingly shoulder it. Is this the result of her style? What is it that you did, Miho?"
"Wow, Hana! Good thing you know about proper customs!" Saori praised her for keeping composure against an intimidating Shiho.
"Mother taught me at a young age how to act," was Hana's reply. "Especially when meeting family heads."
"Still, she angers me," Saori admitted. "I can see why nobody doesn't like her. She treats everyone coldly."
"But it was her first time meeting us," Yukari countered. "That might not be the true her."
"Worry about that later. Let go to Miho first." Surprisingly, Mako powerwalked ahead.
Saori shook her head. "How come she can't be like this when going to school?"
Noto Battleground - Oarai's Main Camp – Afternoon
When Anglerfish arrived, Rirko was nowhere to be found. Just then, Maho exited the tent, a bit stunned to see them there. She wiped some tears away from her face.
"Was she crying," wondered Yukari. Maho went to them.
"It is good to see you, Miss Nishizumi." Yukari greeted her. She nodded her head.
"Thank you for taking care of Miho in my absence," Maho bowed. "It means a lot to me."
"She means a lot to us," Saori replied. "So, of course, we're going to help!"
Hana agreed. "Did you speak with your sister?"
Anglerfish thought that Maho flinched a little. "Y-yes. She's doing alright. Are you here to escort her back?"
The girls nodded. "Then I'll be on my way then."
"Do you want to travel back with us," asked Mako. She sensed something was off.
"I travelled with my mother, so I have to get back. I wanted to check up on my sister is all. Take care." Bowing, she took her leave. Anglerfish looked at the tent. Total silence.
"Are we going to be okay?" Mako wondered out loud. The rest of the girls had the same thought.
Saori smiled at her. "So long as we have each other." Pledging themselves to each other, they entered the tent. They saw a smiling, silent Miho greeting them. Her eyes were gleaming.
Noto Battleground – Open Field – Early Evening
Rirko took in the brisk air. The sun was going down. Soon, he would have to go back to the bus and travel again.
"The mood will surely be sombre. They'll need support from this trying time." But inside, he feared that the girls would have hard feelings over Miho's suspension from duty. They weren't exactly happy when the commanders told them the news. "So, what the hell am I supposed to do?"
The silence was broken by a sound. Someone crying? They were soft. "Now, where's that coming from?" Tuning his ear to the sound, he wandered the field until he came upon a hill overseeing the battlefield. It was Katyusha, still in her Sensha-do uniform, weeping softly.
"First Miho, then Maho and now Katyusha?! Are you serious right now?" Rirko could have just left her. But then again, seeing someone by themselves crying was just sad. "Goddamn it!" He slowly approached her. When Katyusha heard the footsteps, she quickly wiped her tears away.
"Captain?"
"W-What are you doing here? D-didn't you hear that the match was cancelled? W-we won, of course."
"Playing the tough girl act, how cute. Come on; you're not fooling me."
Katyusha's face turned from haughty and arrogant to pure sadness. Sighing, she couched again, tears streaming still.
"Can I join you?" Katyusha said nothing. Rirko sat next to her.
"What are you doing here on your own? Truthfully now."
Silent for a moment, she answered. "I hurt."
"I hurt?"
"I hurt someone."
She explained during that match; she was engaged with Leopon and Duck in her flag tank. When Duck got knocked out, and Leopon disabled she moved in for the kill. She ordered suppression shots near Leopon to pin them down. The gunner tried to tell Katyusha that there was someone there. But she wouldn't listen. She forced her to fire threat of banishment. So, the gunner shot, knowing that Hoshino was there. When the signal flare went up, the attacks stopped. The paramedics and chopper came, and that's when she realized she had erred in her judgement.
Not being able to face Anglerfish, as well as her own team, she ran away. Wandering the battlefield for the rest of the afternoon., she stopped by a hill to make sense of it all.
Finishing her story, she became quiet once again. Rirko understood that her order caused unnecessary harm to someone because she wanted to win.
"So. What now?"
The girl shook her head. "I don't know. I just…DON'T KNOW!" At once, she started to pound the ground with her fists, screaming out of frustration.
Rirko stood silent. To say something would be foolish; she wouldn't have heard him anyway. This happened for another minute before she calmed down. Exhausted by the extra effort, she became silent again.
"Why don't you just go talk to them?"
"Are you mad?! How can I face them? I harmed somebody because I ordered the gunner to shoot!"
"Well, staying out here in the cold isn't going to solve anything. Unless you can turn back time, the only way out is to move forward."
She scoffed. "Now you sound like that damned Nishizumi!" The sun was setting. Soon, it would be dark.
"Are you perfect, Katyusha?"
"What?"
"I asked if you were perfect?"
"Of c-course I am! I am-" Just when she was able to finish the sentence, Rirko shot a look of 'stop bullshitting me, seriously.' She quieted down.
"No…"
"So, obviously like the rest of the world, you make mistakes."
"…"
"Doesn't mean you're a bad person. You ordered the shot and hurt someone. That happened. Learn from it and move on."
"But-"
"And if you decide to admit you made a mistake and you're sorry for both Oarai and your team. When people own up to their mistakes, you may feel a little bit embarrassed. But, they'll respect you more."
"You don't know that'll actually happen. I just hurt Oarai's friend. Wouldn't they want to kill me first?"
"Will Oarai or your team be beating you with sticks?"
"N-no?"
"And what are the chances of you being killed by them?"
"None…"
"Then stop complaining about it then. First to your team and then to Oarai. If you make amends, your teammates will see you as more than a Sensha-do commander. They'll see someone that has integrity, courage and honour. They'll see someone who they can count on. When you apologize …that's up to you. But I'd do it sooner than later."
Katyusha liked the idea of being respected. But, that meant being humble first. "I hate admitting I'm wrong…I'm never wrong… B-But, if I have no choice…"
"You don't." Rirko pointed to the flat battlefield. Nonna, with the rest of her team, was headed this way.
"Have fun!" He quickly got up and waved and prepared to leave.
"W-wait! Please!" Turning to her, he found she had tears in her eyes again. "I can't face them. Not alone. So…p-please?"
"Oh, come the f*** on!" He just wanted to leave. But she was looking at him with longing eyes.
"Damn, I can't say no to that face. Come on." He outstretched his hand to help her up. Hesitating for a bit, she eventually grabbed it.
"Uh…" Rirko tried to let go…but she didn't. "Seriously?"
She shrugged. "Nonna does it."
When Nonna and the team were in view, Katyusha was with Rirko holding his hand. Nonna smirked.
"Shut the hell up, Nonna." It would have been nice to say. But he just sighed to be nice.
The team was waiting for their 'leader' to blame the gunner for the incident. Everyone waited for blame to be shifted to either one person or the team. Fearing for retribution from their commander, they prepared for the worst. However, everyone's focus on Katyusha tightened when she said three words:
"It's my fault." Most of the team members did a double take.
"Did she really just say that?"
"Who's she and what did she do to the commander?"
"This isn't normal; she would be saying it's our fault."
"What the hell is going on?"
"Shut up; she's talking!"
Even Nonna stared at Katyusha for a while. She was still holding Rirko's hand hard when she started to speak again.
"I ordered my gunner to fire, even though there was someone on the field. I didn't listen. Because of that, someone got hurt. And for that…I'm…I'm sorry. I-I dragged you all into this mess, and I w-wouldn't be surprised if you demanded my resignation. B-But, before you now…I…I… t-take full responsibility for what happened. The fault solely falls upon me."
Everyone just stared at her. They stared for so long; it made Katyusha uncomfortable.
"W-Well, that's it! I-I'm done." She waited for the shouts, the riots, the chaos to begin. But it never came. What did happen, was clapping? It came from someone from the back of the group. Then there was two, then four and soon, the entire team was clapping.
"This is the first time the commander said something responsibly!"
"She usually blames us for this. Wow, I didn't think she had it in her!"
"If she's going to be like that from now on, I like it!"
"Let's give her another chance. It was an accident."
"I agree. Let's just move on from this."
Nonna gave a grin while Katyusha released Rirko's hand and joined her second. She looked up at her.
"S-Stop smiling! It's not funny!"
"I never said it was funny. I'm very proud of you, Katyusha!"
"R-Really? Seriously?!"
As Nonna nodded and Katyusha gleamed, Rirko looked at his watch. "Crap! The bus is leaving soon!" He made a mad dash to the assembly area. As he ran, he considered taking his own advice. To take responsibility for what happened and move on.
When he arrived, the entire team was assembled there, waiting for him. As he suspected, the mood was sombre. Ami went up to him.
"They're all waiting for you. I think you know why."
Rirko sighed. "It never ends, does it." He walked over to the front of them, all eyes traced on him.
"Let's do this." Clearing his throat, he began. "Alright, let's address the huge elephant in the room. I suspended Miho from Sensha-do, we all know." At that statement, some of the team members looked with uncertainty. Some of them gazed with anger.
"The reason why? It was not only a professional obligation but for her own good. The team commanders can attest to this. One's mental state can affect them physically. So, you tell me: is it fair to push someone who's physically and emotionally suffering and have them take the mantle of leadership?"
Some of their faces softened. To force Miho into a leadership role while vulnerable. That didn't seem fair. They began to whisper.
"We all know how strong Miho can be. But everyone and I mean everyone, has a breaking point. She's not some robot that can go to the mechanics for maintenance when broken. She's a human being, your friend! And I won't, in good conscience, pretend that everything is okay with her. Because it's not! You girls shouldn't push her into a position where she is obligated to lead you. If you want a leader, look in a mirror. That's what she's been trying to do with all of you!"
The main problem was overreliance. They depended on Miho a bit too much. If Miho was gone, then the strategy would fall apart. That's why she had the team commanders help her come up with a strategy for the matches. It was an effort to have them think for themselves. She even said it in the beginning. Miho identified this weakness and tried to work on it. Murmurs of agreement started to swirl.
"Support her and Anglerfish. They're going through a lot right now. A few nice words, gestures of goodwill, it goes a long way. As for me, I will support her in my own way. Even if it means taking away the thing she loves for a while. Even if it makes some of you being upset. I will do whatever it takes to help her. Because that's what I would do for every one of you!"
Ending, Rirko waited for their response. Anglerfish was walking towards the bus in the distance. They were holding each other's hand. When in view, the teams started to cheer and applause. They stopped, touched by the support. Miho shed some tears of joy while Anglerfish looked on with approval. Sensing that the team accepted his piece, Rirko got on the bus by himself. Ami followed afterwards.
"Good speech," Ami said, sitting down. "That must have been nerve-racking."
"Yeah. It was. But I had help figuring stuff out." He was thankful. If Katyusha wasn't there, he wouldn't have known what to do.
The team started to pile into the bus. As they pasted Rirko, some of them gave a short nod before taking a seat. His words, it seemed, reached some of them. Others simply walked past. He didn't mind, though. He knew he couldn't make everyone happy.
Anglerfish took their seats, right behind Rirko and Ami. As the bus roared to life and charted a course back to the hotel, Rirko traced his eyes forward. While fulfilling his professional obligation, he still felt terrible about suspending Miho.
The entire trip was mostly silent. Exhausted from the day, some of the girls slept on the bus. Anglerfish didn't say a word to anyone. They were all thinking about what happened. Pulling up to the hotel, the entire team piled out, back into their rooms. Tomorrow afternoon, they would be departing to Oarai. Each group was assigned their own room. That night, everyone had an opinion.
Leopon Team – Hotel – Evening
The three remaining members of Leopon Team had felt they've been on an emotional roller-coaster that ended up crashing in a burning mountain of tires.
"This is the worst day of my life," Suzuki sighed, sipping on some water. Hoshino was on Oarai, in a hospital bed, with broken bones and no idea when she would be discharged.
Tsuchiya looked at the window, seeing the starry sky. The snow clouds already cleared up. "Did you hear about Hoshino at all."
"Nothing," Nakajima replied, looking at her phone. "I called her family in Oarai letting them know what's going on. They said they would contact me as soon as they heard any word."
Usually, they would be talking about the new model of cars, the F1 Grand Prix or making plans on the next road trip. But not tonight. They were one member short. It was an emptiness they never felt before. And it felt horrible.
"If Miho wasn't there, it would have been worst." Suzki and Nakajima turned to Tsuchiya. She looked depressed. They went to her. "We gotta make it up to her."
"Well, we can't do that because she's not involved in Sensha-do anymore." Suzki, sounded angry. "Mr Nagasawa saw to that."
"But Miho looked like total crap. She couldn't lead, even if she wanted to. I saw how she was." Nakajima had to get the fact straight. It wasn't right for the girls to falsely accuse someone like that. "Besides, being 'suspended' is broad for me. Suspended from 'what' exactly?"
Suzuki had a sceptical look. "You're not defending him, are you?"
"I'm just saying?" The room was silent once again. Hoshino and Miho were on their minds.
Nakajima wondered about their team's future. "What's going to happen to us. We're one crew person short."
"I'm pretty sure something will be figured out." Although Suzki said those words, she didn't if she could believe them."
Anteater Team – Hotel – Evening
Nekonya and Momoga were lying on their beds while Piyotan was sitting on a chair. The room was silent but in-game, they were speaking through text.
Momoga – So, Nagasawa put the ban hammer on our guild leader
Piyotan – Maybe only a temp ban? Can't be perma.
Momoga – Was that necessary? I mean, come on!
Nekonya – She didn't look right. He also was regretting it. I mean, if one of my guildies under-levelled, I wouldn't want them going on a suicide mission
Momoga – Well, regardless, without her at the helm, how long will Oarai stay on top
Nekonya – You don't believe in Yukari? Miho trained her personally
Piyotan – We just gotta believe everything will work out
Nekonya – Yeah, believe. We 'believed' we could beat an army of enemy heavy tanks and look what happened
Momoga – Got blown back, lol
Piyotan – **** you two!
Nekonya – No swearing, remember :)
Piyotan - **** NA servers. So, pansy
Momoga – There are fewer people here, so that's good
Nekonya – But then the battlefield is a less exciting place. Just like IRL.
Piyotan – You had to go there? Come on. Optimism. O-P-T-I-
Nekonya – I can read *******
Piyotan – No swearing :p
Even though no words were said. They felt comfortable holding a conversation like that. After all, they were gamers foremost.
Mallard / Platypus / Turtle / Tortoise – Hotel – Evening
Mallard and Turtle were spending time with their protégé teams. Kii and Risa wanted to talk to the members about the whole situation. Momo and Yuzu were keeping busy, preparing for the tournament that was to happen in a few months time.
Momo looked at the window. "So, he finally did it, huh?" She shook her head slowly. "We're f***ed; we are f***ed."
"We're not dead yet," Risa pointed out while sitting with Rabbit watching a western movie. "So, why act as if we are?"
"Do you truly believe that we can last without Miho?" Momo asked. She apparently, didn't have any faith in Yukari's skill. As a leader or strategist, at least.
"You can help her you know." Anzu shoved a handful of potato chips and drank some soda. "After all, Miho did tap you as a contingency field leader."
"Yeah…I-I guess."
Yuzu stopped looking at her pile of paperwork. "We need to support Anglerfish and Miho. Mr Nagasawa did have a point. We relied on Miho too much."
Momo shot a glare at Yuzu. "I don't want to hear that name here again."
"How come?" Risa asked. "You know, he's just doing a job. You're gonna be hating on him for doing a job?"
"It's because of him; we're in this mess!"
"He cares about people. Can you blame him for doing that? Kadotani-sempai, how was Nishizumi-sempai?"
Anzu had a solemn look on her face. "She didn't look good. I don't blame him. Momo lay off."
Still angry, she didn't want to upset Anzu. "Y-Yes, madam president."
Kii had enough of Momo pessimism. "Kawashima-sempai. With respect. If we believe we have failed already…then, we will fail. Any problem…any adversity, we face it head-on. That's what this team has taught me."
"I agree!" Azusa said, no longer interested in the movie. "Either we win big, or we go down trying!"
"There's no fault in trying!" Ayumi added.
"Go big or go home! Go big or go home!" Karina said excitedly.
"ALRIGHT! I GET IT!" Momo let out a big sigh. "I'm sorry, it's just…being in this situation again…It just brings back bad memories, okay?"
Everyone knew what she was referring to. When Oarai was on the chopping block for decommissioning. The Student Council had to face a corrupt official and forced the school to play his game. Even though they won in the end, the threat was still there as long as he worked at MEXT.
"There's one difference, though," Yuki pipped up.
"What's that," Yumisa asked. Her bright eyes looked up at Yuki with curiosity.
"We have Nishizumi-sempai!" Ichiho pointed out, in a small voice. "So long she's there with us. In a tank or not…"
"We'll be fine." Maki was initially annoyed by Momo's gloomy outlook. But after listening, she understood why. "We just got to believe that'll work out. With ourselves and each other."
Emika winked. "Great optimism. I think we're good to go!"
"Okay, enough chatter, we're getting to the good part!" The entirety of Rabbit swivelled their heads to the television. Platypus and Tortoise joined them. Turtle continued with their work.
Meanwhile, Mallard, who didn't contribute anything to the conversation, followed up on the situation in Oarai and were working on compiling a report. They would have a lot to do when they got home.
Only a third of the students remained in Oarai due to various reasons. The moral committee (who were operating on a skeleton crew) were up in delinquents, the committees' members that the Student Council appointed to run day-to-day operations were at each other's throats over resources and the construction of the school was not moving due to a company strike over wages.
Of course, they knew well NOT to say anything. At least, while Momo was in the room.
Hippo – Duck – Hotel Fitness Room- Evening
Hippo and Duck were spending time in the fitness room. While the members of Duck worked on the machines, Saemonza brought two kendo sticks for swordfight training.
Taeko and Shinobu were on the treadmills, Noriko and Akebi were doing exercise reps while Caesar and Saemonza prepared for their match. Erwin and Oryo watched on.
Saemonza was teaching Caesar proper Kendo techniques, and in exchange, Caesar would teach Saemonza basic Roman historical strategies. Duck finished up their exercises, just about Saemonza was finishing up her sparring match.
"STRIKE!" Erwin yelled. "AND POINT! THE WINNER…SAEMONZA!" Although they weren't participating in kendo, they had practice enough to stop when the stick was about to strike the body; thereby it would be called a strike. Caesar dropped the stick, wiping her face with a face cloth. Saemonza drank a bottle of water.
"Getting better, Ceasar!" Saemonza smirked. "Just keep up with defences a bit more. I'll teach you some more advanced stuff next!"
"Looking forward to it!" Caesar appreciated her friend teaching her how to fight using Kendo. It was good to learn something new. Duck team applauded.
"Well done!" Noriko cried.
Taeko agreed. "Just as exciting as a volleyball nationals match."
"Well maybe not." Shinobu had a difference of opinion. She was a hardcore, volleyball nationals fan.
Akebi grinned. "Let them have it, Shinobu. Come on."
The girls sat around the open space. There was no one else in the fitness room. They had the entire place to themselves.
"So quiet…" Oryo pointed out. "Where's everyone else?"
"Probably talking about what happened," Noriko said glumly. "Everything went so crazy after Hoshino got hurt."
Erwin agreed. "And Miho…poor Miho."
Caesar didn't want to think about Miho. When she saw her on the cot, shaking and breathing heavily, it made her want to cry. "I…I don't want to think about that."
Saemonza got it. "Must be tough, huh?" She nodded.
"Is it any wonder that Nagasawa did what he did?" Noriko asked the group while handing another bottle of water to Akebi. She accepted it, gratefully.
"The consensus is that he was wrong to bench Miho. But when he talked about the reason 'why'? Most teachers don't tell us the reason and just have us accept it blindly."
Oryo nodded her head. "But he's different. Maybe because he's from another country where you have to explain your reasoning?"
"I like it." Caesar reflected on Rirko's words when he told them about relieving Miho of duty. "He took responsibility for it and did it for her own good."
"But the question is…what now?" Saemonza asked. Everyone wondered the same thing.
"Well, whatever we do. We have to be supportive and decisive!" Noriko got up, putting her determination on. "Miho got guts for saving Hoshino! We have to have her back!"
"YEAH!"
"Yeah…" Oryo reflected, "like –" Duck team suddenly groaned.
"Not again. Please-"
"Yoshimoto's contribution to the Battle of Okehazama!"
Erwin continued, "Or the allied forces on D-Day in WWII."
"Or the Battle of Pharsalus in Rome's Civil War." Caesar finished.
"THAT'S IT!"
Noriko just sighed while Duck watched in amazement. "I hate it when they do that."
Notojima – Hotel – Hotel Lobby – Evening
Rirko, with a bottled apple juice in hand and some comfortable clothing, sat around in the lobby. Sitting close to where he was this morning, he taught about the events that unfolded. What should have been a standard match between two schools ended with one hospitalized student, one student who was suspended from Sensha-do due to emotional issues, a family member dealing with the exact same problem but at a higher scale and a self-conscious commander who had pushed the blame on everyone else.
He laughed at the irony of it all. Initially, he thought the trip would be a relaxing way to get to know the Sensha-do team. It was funny how the opposite happened on a much larger scale. He had already packed his stuff, so tomorrow afternoon he would just wheel out his belongings and load them up. Ami had already made her way to her room, possibly to relax.
"One more night and we're heading back. Might as well make the best of it." Closing his eyes, he let his mind dump all the negativity of the day. The sun was setting, and the fire was warm.
Nanao - Matsuno Midori – Evening
Maho, once again, travelled alone from Noto Island to Matsuno Midori. Exhausted from today, she had expected to give a full-detailed report to her mother on what she did during the time they were separated.
When Shiho told Maho she was taking care of the situation caused by accident, Maho was livid but, of course, didn't show it. Maho did her best to contain the chaos by relaying information between volunteers and spectators, directing them to various exit points. Afterwards, Shiho and Maho spoke when things died down.
"You want to do what?" Shiho asked, in surprise.
"I want to see Miho, mother."
"And may I ask, why?"
"Stupid…Inconsiderate…We both know the reason why."
"Hmm…" Shiho thought for a moment. "Probably concerned about Miho's safety. She did save that girl's life. Maho, you never change. Very well. Be sure to return to the hotel by evening."
"Yes, mother."
"I'll have an escort ready for you after you are done with your business here. But be quick. There's planning that needs to be done for the tournament, I want you, and Kuromorimine prepared. Understood?"
"…yes. I understand."
"Good." As Shiho walked off, Maho felt nothing but contempt due to her disregard for her sister. Her daughter.
"How dare she disrespect Miho's life."
Reflecting on the thoughts and feelings, Rirko's suggestion of divergence sounded more appealing. Taking the elevator up to the penthouse, she thought about what she was going to say and explain why it took her so long.
"I hadn't seen Miho in a while, so we were catching up? No. Strategies for Sensha-do? It shouldn't take that long. Were we planning a joint match with some of the other teams? Possible? I must throw her off somehow. But, does she already know? I wouldn't put it past her."
Reaching the floor, Maho took a breath and entered the room. No one. Where was Shiho? There was a note on the table:
"Something came up. I will meet you back at home."
"Something came up?" Maho wondered what that meant. Usually, Shiho was good with detailing her plans for the time. However, in this case, it was strange that she would leave so suddenly. Where would she stay for the night? Did she have to worry?
"So, I guess the report can wait?"
She waited around for a few minutes before deciding to type up the report instead.
Anglerfish – Hotel – Evening
When evening came, everyone was tired. Hana, Saori and Mako hanged around Yukari and Miho's room and just…talked. Various topics. Boys, school, life, future, anything. They brought some Russian snacks and had that for dinner. The hours passed, and the girls found themselves getting ready for bed.
Hana, Saori and Mako prepared to leave. "Will you be alright, Miporin?"
Miho nodded. "I will. Yukari's with me. I'll let her know if anything is up. I promise."
"Good," Hana smiled. "And we gave you our room number already so knock whenever, okay?"
"Got it."
Mako yawned loudly. "Good night, Miho." The girls waved goodbye and closed the door. It was only Yukari and Miho now.
"Yukari?"
"Yes, Miss Nishizumi?"
"Thank you for always being there for me. I don't say it enough."
Yukari blushed. "M-Miss Nishizumi. It's a p-pleasure. Believe me."
Miho laid on her bed. "When that thing with Hoshino happened. I did feel like I was going to die. I was so scared."
Yukari sat beside her. "I can imagine."
"But when those paramedics came. I relaxed, and I felt a little better. So…"
"It's not a physical condition…is it?" Miho shook her head.
"Mr Nagasawa was right. It has to do with how I feel and what's been going on around me."
Yukari couldn't help but ask Miho. "Do you hate him for suspending you?"
Miho was very silent on this question. She shed a few tears before answering. "I know he was only looking out for me. He cares about me and how I feel. That's his job. So why? Why do I feel this way?"
The fact of the matter was that Miho was upset with him. He had taken her only interest and shut her out from it. Who was she without Sensha-do? What would she do in the meanwhile?
Yukari could only see the turmoil on Miho's face. She took her hand.
"He must be hurting too. As you said, he cares about you. Him doing this…it means he wants to take care of whatever is happening before you move on."
"Take care of what?"
"That's up to you and him to decide. When I was with my cousin, my aunt said it was important to talk about your problems. And when you talk to someone who knows their stuff, things for you get clearer. You start to understand and take steps to move on."
"So…will the answers come if I still talk to him?"
"You will always have us and the rest of the team. But, I think that if you truly want to know the truth about what's going on in you…you have to trust him."
Miho reflected on Yukari's words. She was upset but sympathetic to Rirko's situation. Maybe, because of the fact she had been the staple of Oarai Girl's Academy, the no-name school that won the Nationals. She was a heroine, someone dependable. But now, that was taken away.
Who was she?
Yukari and Miho got ready for bed. It was their last day before leaving for Oarai. As Miho laid under the covers, Yukari watched over her.
"Miss Nishizumi, everything will be fine. You have to believe that."
"Okay…Okay…" Yukari was there. Her friends were near. Her team loved and shed tears for her. Her teachers, especially Rirko, cared for their well-being. And now, she knew that her sister loved her dearly. She was not alone, nor would she ever be.
But, did she truly believe that?
A/N: Feel free to let me know what you think about this chapter. Thank you for your support! It's been great!