"I heard something..." Angela Timmons was alert as always, "It sounded like rumbling."
"I farted." Herrison looked proud of himself.
The blonde officers olfactory senses confirmed that the OCRC second in command was not lying, and she wrinkled her shapely nose, "No, not that. Something else. I think someone's in the elevator..."
"Claudia?" Alex's face brightened.
"I hope so..." Angela replied sympathetically, still even tempered despite the last few hours with Herrison.
As the mismatched duo moved closer to the double doors, the sound of a bellowing scream could be heard, growing steadily louder as the lift neared its destination. It was high pitched and shrill, and sounded like it belonged to a woman. The mechanism came to a shuddering stop, there was a computerised chime, and the doors slid open.
Angela's jaw dropped while Herrison continued to grin inanely.
The immediate sight which caught their attention was a woman in military police attire, soaked from head to toe in blood, shattered body armour and matted red hair. Her green eyes were frozen in silent horror, and her mouth dangled open as she continued to scream and scream, not registering the doors having opened and the presence of two other people. Even before Angela had a chance to rush forward, her eyes caught a second figure, collapsed on the floor. It appeared to be a woman in a lab coat, eyes closed and ashen faced.
"What the fudge?" Angela had never been a fan of coarse language. And despite the spectacle in front of her, it was no excuse. She ran towards the pair in the lift, her blue eyes filled with concern as she caught Shakahnna by the shoulder. "Hey! on...snap out of it..." her voice was gentle as she gave the STARS captain a slight nudge.
All at once the screams stopped, leaving a ringing silence in the air, and Officer Taylor spurred into life to backhand the blonde policewoman out of the way.
"Claudia!" Herrison ambled forward to the unconscious scientist, but as soon as he reached the girl's body, Shakahnna leapt forward, knocking him clean off his feet, her claw poised at his throat. Her entire weight was planted on the officer's chest, making it rather difficult for him to breathe.
"DON'T YOU TOUCH HER, UMBRELLA SCUM!" She screamed in his face.
There was a few seconds pause. "What?" Herrison choked. Even he was not unobservant enough to miss the fact that he was in some danger.
"Now calm down!" Angela stepped in with a worried half frown on her face, "He doesn't work for Umbrella. He's with OCRC."
At this point Shakahnna, not moving from her current position, withdrew her gun and pointed it to the blonde haired woman at her side.
"You shouldn't do that to a police officer..." Angela pointed out almost apologetically. "I...I...I might have to arrest you."
The redhead's head snapped up, "You are not in the police force," she said with a sneer that would have made her scientist counterpart proud, had she not been out cold. With a movement that afforded Alex no gentleness, she sprung from the brawny man's chest and held out one clawed hand to the policewoman. "Badge. ID number," she demanded, keeping her gun levelled.
"Lostonberry Police Department, 847364," replied the more petite female promptly, holding out her constubulary identification, dropping it in Shak's hand. The STARS captain glowered at it for a few seconds, mentally going through the police database before she handed it back with a begrudging, suspicious expression. "Are you sure you don't work for Umbrella?"
"Positive!" Angela giggled nervously.
"Aaah!" Shakahnna suddenly remembered her fallen friend.
Wesker's here...fuck. Got to get everyone out. No...Claudia first.
Giving Herrison a kick, and lowering her gun as she backed off. "You should treat your superiors with more respect," she informed Angela as she approached Claudia. At that point Officer Timmons realised that the new addition to their august company was wearing what was left of a STARS uniform.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, ma'am!"
"Be shushed," Captain Taylor gave the prone girl a worried look, "And make her cease that behaviour."
"What?"
"Being unconscious."
Herrison meanwhile had gotten to his feet and was bounding over to Claudia like the retarded puppy that he was.
"I'm warning you, if you take one more step..." Shak began, but Herrison was already trying to approach his fictional "girlfriend" again. With a fluidity of motion that was almost businesslike, he found himsef with his arms pinned behind his back.
What about the three chances...? Fuck that.
As Shakahnna snapped the cuffs onto his wrists, there was a dazed groan from the elevator floor as Dr Graham reluctantly found herself re entering the world of the conscious. The first thing she saw as her eyes fluttered open, much to her chagrin, was the inanely confused face of her second in command.
Oh god. Knock me out again. Please.
"What...the...HELL is going on...?!" she half mumbled, half growled.
"Ahhh! You be ok!" the redhead abandoned Herrison for the moment and began to prod at her friend.
"Well I bloody won't be if you keep sticking your fingers in my ribs, you idiot."
"I think I be'd finding one of those cretin things you're always talking about."
Claudia caught sight of Herrison who was ambling about happily in handcuffs and rolled her eyes, "Wonderful," she huffed, "Just bloody marvellous." She stopped and turned to Shakahnna, "Officer Taylor, you are looking at the cream of OCRC intelligence..." came her dry introduction, "That is Alex Herrison, my..." she winced, "...second in command. Oh god." She strode up to her fellow OCRC member, "Herrison," she berated, "How the bloody hell are you still alive?" She looked around and threw her hands up in despair, "Ah yes, Herrison, congratulations! You have single-handedly managed to lose all of the survivors you were supposed to be getting to safety. Your complete stupidity and lack of anything which could remotely be considered competence is so overwhelming I am actually dazzled."
Shakahnna turned to Angela and smiled, "She's feeling much better now."
The doctor paused for breath, but she was far from finished, "Honestly, how the bloody hell did you manage to wander around this hospital for so long, with your IQ as a negative number, and not manage to get eaten? I'll tell you why! It's because God hates me, which is why I am stuck with such an abject cretin for a second in command," here she leaned over to stage whisper conspiratorially, "And in case you hadn't worked it out Herrison, since I know you have some difficulty understanding what I tell you, I am talking about you." Claudia glared daggers at her subordinate, "I am surprised, nay astounded, that you were not outsmarted by the T-Virus subjects which are currently roaming this hospital. Or were you not aware of this, Herrison? In your infinite wisdom, did it seem like a sensible course of action to leave two nurses wandering about on their own in a building full of zombies? Did it? " she hissed, her face white with anger. It soon became apparent that Claudia's nickname of ice maiden was no misnomer, as she shot frosty glances at the rest of the party before rounding on Herrison again, "So tell me, what exactly, besides that is, proving to me that you have all the self awareness of a single celled organism, what exactly have you been doing with your time?" her hand flew to her forehead despairingly, and her voice subdued very slightly, as she winced in pain from her injuries, "No...no wait Herrison. Just...I don't care. I don't want to know. "
"You're alright!" Alex squealed in delight and tried to hug Claudia. Unfortunately this process was impeded by the fact that he had his arms fixed behind his back. "Hey..." he said slowly, "Why can't I move my hands. Am I infected?"
"Hope springs eternal."
Claudia rounded on Angela, her face utterly livid, "Oh christ, he's found a pet. Who the hell are you?"
"It's ok," Shak interjected, in a tone which she thought would assure Claudia that things were now looking up, "She's a cop. I don't think she works for Umbrella..." the redhead looked her up and down suspiciously.
"I'm one of the good guys," she smiled, "Scouts honour!"
"Umbrella wouldn't employ that," the scientist remarked coldly.
"Well that makes her one of us then."
"Oh joy."
"We can be like a family!" Herrison chimed in.
"That's the spirit!" Angela patted him on the back.
"I wish I was dead." Claudia did not look best pleased.
"You nearly were..." Shakahnna's tone became sober. "Do you remember what happened...?"
Claudia's face creased as she pieced together the events in her head. "I...we were...in the labs and...ohgodwesker!" she looked around frantically, "Oh god! My samples!" She scrambled for her rucksack and clutched it protectively, before glaring at Shak. "Are you ok?"
"Who's Wesker?" the blonde haired woman asked curiously.
"Shut up. Come to think of it, I am feeling a little faint..." the redhead swayed on her feet for a few seconds before crashing down to one knee. She smiled up at Claudia hazily, "Je suis fucked."
"I know first aid!" Angela said excitedly.
"Angela knows first aid!" Herrison repeated like a sub-intelligent parrot.
Claudia looked at Herrison, "With your mind on other, more important things like completely bollocking up our mission, it appears you have overlooked that fact that I am a doctor..." She sighed deeply, "I would be rather disconcerted had I been awarded a degree in medicine without being able to treat a few scrapes." Although it was obvious that Shakahnna had a little more than a "few" scrapes.
"I don't mean to be disrespectful or anything, but...you seem a little young to be a doctor, sweetie. It's ok if you're lost here and scared, we'll take you back to your parents." Angela put a soothing hand on Claudia's shoulder which she shrugged off angrily, "I'm a little scared too, you know?"
"The only thing that's scaring me is the sheer magnitude by which the average IQ in this room has degenerated..." Claudia began, "And furthermore..." she stopped abruptly and looked at Shak, who was using the floor to support herself, before scowling at Angela, "No. You're not that important." She crouched down beside the redhead with a look of genuine concern.
"I have the worst taste in men..." the STARS captain groaned with regret. "We have to get moving, I have to tell everyone he's here."
"You are bloody well going nowhere," the bespectacled girl admonished.
"I'm fine. Look, I can stand up all by myself..." Shakahnna rose to her feet slowly, allowing the rest of the party a full view of the extent of her injuries. In addition to those she had sustained in the labs, her face was a mass of blood and bruises. A long, wide gash ran across the centre of her forehead, dried blood having crept down the bridge of her nose. The left side of her face was a purple mass, the features swollen almost beyond recognition, her eye forced shut.
"Bloody hell! Right let's get that eye sorted before we do anything else." Claudia began rummaging in Pierce's first aid kit.
"No, no, it's ok. You be patching up yourself. I'll take care of this..." Shak breezed.
I'm NOT gonna like this, I'm not going to like this...
Squelch. Biting down on her lower lip, she gouged the point of her cat claw into the pulpy flesh. "Ow...ow...OW!" she yelled as blood began to traipse down her battered face.
"What the HELL do you think you're doing. For the love of God, Queen and is....STOP THAT!" Claudia began to swat at Shak's arm.
The redhead looked up at her with blood flowing down her face and her expression became quzzical. "What?" Using the heel of her hand she pushed the bruised skin flat against her forehead. Gritting her teeth, she shook her head, before her features relaxed. "Oh. I can see. Hullo Clauds!"
"You," Claudia poked her in the chest with her index finger, "You might be immune to the virus, but that doesn't mean you can go sticking those filthy things in your skin. Now I know that you are stupid, but even YOU must know what gangrene is. Shall we recap? It's the thing that YOU'RE GOING TO GET. Think of all the bacteria that are teeming on those, I mean, Christ, do you even wash them?"
"Of course I do..." Shak snuggled her weapon, "They're my babies."
"Shut up, I'm not finished. How the hell do you expect to get out of here if you go about sticking what actually qualifies as a biohazard into your face?"
"It wouldn't be the first time Wesker's stuck something in me..." Shak sniggered, "Oh. You were talking about my blades, weren't you?"
"Yes..." Claudia hissed through gritted teeth. The low brow innuendo was lost on her, who thought that Shak was referring to a laboratory incident, or some such rather more wholesome definitions of the term "stick it in." "I don't give a damn if that's how you idiots in the police force treat wounds, ie make them worse, but as a medical practitioner..."
"I think my ribs are broken," Shakahnna interrupted.
"My spray will sort anything else, but those will take a bit more time." Claudia groaned to herself. "Right, sit down here," she gestured to the floor, "And don't talk."
"I gotta radio my team," Shak pulled out her radio and began to tune it in to the STARS frequency.
Oh shit. She can't do that, Wesker'll kill me.
As Claudia kept her eyes fixed resolutely on the captain's injuries, Shak began to talk into the reciever. "Redrum? Rat features? Come in..." the only reply was the crackling of static. "Fitzpatrick? Kotch? Anyone?" she looked puzzled for a second, "They must be out of range already. Horse boy said they could only afford one truck. They must have got one spare to get them out so quickly."
Claudia exhaled a sigh of relief as Shakahnna pronounced, "I'll just have to go to Achma all on my own."
"Right, give me that," the scientist bristled. "Hey, Alex, catch!" she hurled the communications device at her subordinate, who failed the catch due to the presence of handcuffs. The radio shattered into pieces on the floor, and the whole party looked at it dumbly except Claudia. "Oops," she said flatly, "Well he gets by doing everything else with his forehead."
"Give me your radio, Claudia."
"What?" she jumped. Her C/B was tuned in to the Achma base, and she was fairly certain that a direct connection to her boss would not be met with a whoop and a game of prank calls.
But is he still my boss? What's my status here? What's going on? We get to Achma and what then? Do I end up back at OCRC? How do I explain what went on back there? And why didn't he tell me they knew each other, or the fact that he was in the labs? And where's Daniel?
"You know," Claudia looked up guiltily to find Angela staring at her contemplatively, "You could be really pretty if you didn't have your glasses..."
"You'd be really pretty if I didn't have my glasses too," she snarled.
"Enough! Radio!" Shak held out her hand. "You can bicker all you want later."
"But...but..." the scientist's hands curled tightly around the reciever, but one glance at the serious expression on Shakahnna's face told her there was no use protesting.
I'm fucked. She held out the device, hoping that whoever picked up would have the good sense not to say "Hello, you have reached the Umbrella secret headquarters. For information on why Claudia is a spy, press one."
-
Things were not going well for Dr Jonathon Lancaster. He was stuck with Wesker for a boss, in a base where most of the staff were dead, he had a workload that would have made his father blanche, and worst of all...
He had a black eye.
"Oh Christ..." he groaned, pulling out a pocket mirror from his trousers, "Look at my face. I hate you, Wesker." With a despondant sigh he put the mirror back and turned his attention to the ever growing pile of paperwork in front of him. Considering everyone was dead, why did he need to be doing paperwork. It wasn't as though there was anyone left to read it.
As he lifted up his pen, there was a shrill ringing from under a pile of folders and he sank back in his chair. "That better not be Wesker checking up on me..." he muttered petulantly.
As he picked up the phone, the ringing did not stop, and he rumanged about some more until he found a radio lying on the desk. "Wesker's? What's that doing here?"
He pressed the recieve button and scowled, "Yes?"
"This is NRPD 768493. We need a helicopter. We're on the 3rd floor of St Appolonia's hospital, Lostonberry. Viral outbreak confirmed and suspected explosives rigged. Two officers, two members of OCRC, rest of team evacuated. Over."
"Um..." The realisation dawned on Jonathon that the STARS captain had got the most fortuitous wrong number possible. "You're...that redhead, right?"
"I does indeed be's." Jonathon winced as she proceeded to destroy all semblances of professionalism.
"And you're at St App's?"
"Are you new?"
"You could say that..." he smiled wickedly. "Make your way to the roof."
"No shit. I didn't expect for the helicopter to pick us up and for us to jump through the third floor window."
"Yes. Quite." There was a snigger and a whisper of "Hey Clauds, this moron on the other end's almost as uptight as you."
"We shall have someone pick you up within the hour, Captain." the last word was said as a sneer. "Over and out."
As he set the radio down, he was sure he heard the words "Bug up ass" through the fading static. Perhaps today was looking up after all. "You think you're so smart. I'll show you, Wesker. I'll sort out your little bitch."
He lifted the telephone and smirked. He knew just the man.
"Put me through to Squadron Leader Jack Tabernacle...no, I don't care if he's "in prayer" at the moment, this is Dr Lancaster, and it is urgent." There was a pause as the switchboard operator gulped, then put the call through.
"Who disturbs my communication with god?!" came the booming voice, and the doctor winced and held the phone a few inches from his ear.
"Jack?" he said despite it being rather obvious.
"Yes, that is I! The Righteous Sword by whom all infidels shall be smote! Working for God and Umbrella..."
Jonathon stifled a snigger and rolled his eyes, "This is Dr Jonathon Lancaster. I believe I have a small favour to ask of you..."
"Ah, long hours I have spent praying for your soul, Jonathon my lad. Tell me, have you found God yet?"
Jonathon thought it best not to offer his anecdote involving a virgin called Mary, and sighed, "No, Jack. All my...err...Holy literature has been confiscated."
"By that heathen Albert Wesker? God will punish him, my child, for God is vengeful! The wrath and power of the holy spirit will descend upon him like a flaming blade, and he will be cleansed by FIRE and BRIMSTONE! And the lord sayeth that he who viewith himself as a false deity shall be punished in the lower pits of HELL. Arrogance is the work of Satan, my boy, the only true way to Our Lord's holy kingdom is the path of humility and self-flagellation..."
By this point Jonathon was making a list in his head of anyone else he could call, as his finger hovered over the disconnect button. But if he got caught, Jack was the only one who wouldn't tell Wesker who put the order through. "Ah yes, you're quite right, Jack. I was just saying the same thing to him this morning, but he's far too concerned with a certain red haired STARS captain to...ah...see the light as it were."
"You're a good boy, my son. A good Catholic boy. But sometimes the face of adversity is just too strong for one mere mortal. That is why God put me on this earth, to lead his lost sheep to salvation at the hands of his holy fire. We will burn their bodies, but their souls will be free."
"Of course. And that," he attempted to steer the conversation round to business, "Is why I am calling. There is a...um...heathen trollop roaming St Appolonia's. Not only is she a...satanist but she's a lesbian too."
"A HOMOSEXUAL?!" Jack boomed, "THERE IS A GAY IN OUR MIDST! God will strike her down. Just give me the place and I will move a squadron of my disciples to rip her vile soul from her body and purify it."
"The roof of St Appolonia's hospital. Can you be there within the hour?"
"I will fly with the speed of the Holy Ghost himself. Consider it a gift from God, boy."
"Thank you. Ah...one more thing. Do let's not mention this to Albert?"
"I would not spit on that man! He is a half beast, a godless, immoral spawn of HELL! His mother was a dog of Satan himself. He is not a good and righteous member of the Holy Mother Church like ourselves. He betrayed not only God, but Umbrella, our holy Catholic shield."
"I hate him." For the first time in the whole conversation, Jonathon was being genuine.
"You have turned out so well, unlike your bastard of a father."
Dr Lancaster grinned, "A righteous sword not unlike youself struck him down for his immoral ways. And with that I am afraid I must take my leave. I must...attend mass."
"I understand, my boy. The Lord waits for no man. May your soul be spared from the firey depths of Satan's inferno that surely awaits most of the sinners who plague this earth."
As the line went dead, Jonathon leaned back in his seat and began to roar with laughter, tears streaming down his face. It had been a sheer effort of will not to break down during the conversation. Still, amusement aside, at least he had gotten what he wanted and Jack may have been unhinged, but he was extremely effective.