Back at the cottage, cleaned and fed, Anna sat in the rocking chair by the hearth, tending the fire. Sitron had taken them back here, not that Anna had expected otherwise.
She had looked like a wreck when they had arrived back, and had spent a great deal of time picking twigs and leaves from her braids and scrubbing away the putrid dirt from under her fingernails. She'd stripped down to her undergarments, washing her clothing as best she could and hanging them to dry. She didn't want any reminders of what she had endured the night before in the troll glade.
Hans was still unconscious, and it had taken Anna a bit of work to get him into the cottage and onto the bed. He seemed to be okay after the incident with the trolls. Anna had removed his tailcoat and waistcoat, unbuttoning his linen shirt to check the frozen spot on his heart. It still remained, blacker than ever, much to her disappointment. She had hoped that kissing him in the glade had been enough to finally break him of his curse, but deep down she knew it wouldn't be that simple.
Nothing with Hans was simple.
When they had first fled the palace, Anna had been rapt to help, so willing to do whatever was necessary, whatever she could to pitch in, to fix things. She had finally been given the answer on how she could best do that, but she hadn't liked the answer she received.
She had thought that going to the trolls would provide a simple answer, something that could be easily done. What she had gotten was not what she expected. She had gotten far more problems than just a rogue troll wife claiming thirteen frozen hearts. The trolls themselves had been corrupted by past Westergaard betrayals, and it would surely continue if not stopped this time around.
And Hans was the key to fixing it all. Only that depended on two things: Anna breaking him of his curse, and then, what Hans intended to do with himself afterwards.
Liesel had been vague about the outcomes, making Anna less confident than she had been at the start of this mad quest. She had been told that she was the best chance Hans had, but the way Anna saw it, 'best' was looking pretty dismal considering Hans had abandoned her to the trolls in the first place.
The moment she had become expendable again, Hans had left her. Anna wasn't sure she could ever forgive him. Hell, she wasn't entirely sure she forgave him for it the first time. And she certainly didn't forgive herself for it now. She hated herself for being such an idiot, and for not heeding her own careful warnings.
She'd gone and done the very thing she had told herself over and over again not to do.
She had fallen for Hans.
If anyone could save him, it would be her. She was the one foolish enough to keep trying, since she was the one who loved him. She shouldn't love him at all, but she did. Everything he was, and everything he did, practically screamed at her not to give him her heart, and yet she had.
Truthfully, she'd given it to him over a year ago, and he'd held onto it so tightly that Anna knew she was never getting it back. He just didn't know he had it, and Anna was terrified what would happen if he found out.
She knew she loved him, and as she stared into the fire, she was trying to decide if she was in love with him. An idea she was not keen to entertain. What was she supposed to tell Elsa if she was actually in love with Hans? It was already bad enough that she loved him, but to be in love? She shuddered at the thought.
She was trying to ignore the steady sound of his breathing. In fact, she was trying to ignore him altogether. Anna was still absolutely livid with him, and even though she had begrudgingly gotten him back to safety, she did not want to be in the same room with him. She couldn't even look at him without the urge to throttle him.
The worst part was that she only had herself to blame. In their time together, Hans had never been anything else than what he was. And Anna had still fallen for him. It was a gross failing in character on her part. A deficit in her judgement, a flaw she could not remedy no matter how hard she tried.
The rustling of blankets caught her attention, Hans was finally waking up. She wasn't sure she had it in her to turn and face him. How could she ever be ready for him? There was so much there that she didn't want to deal with, didn't want to acknowledge. But it was all there, all nudging at her from the background of everything she was thinking.
"Anna?"
She could hear the bewilderment in his quiet voice. It was not unlike the last time he'd seen her alive when she was supposed to be dead to him. It was a year ago, he'd said the same thing, confused to find her exactly where she wasn't supposed to be in accordance to his plans.
Anna? But she froze your heart.
He didn't say it, but he might as well have said, 'Anna? But I left you to the trolls.'
Twice now, he had intended to leave her for dead, only to wake up and discover that she was still there, that she was stronger than whatever he threw at her. Anna had no idea what was wrong with her. She should have been able to leave him this time.
Instead, she had gone back to the glade, brought him back from being frozen solid, and gotten him back to the safety of the cottage. She should have returned the favours he kept paying her and been the one to leave him.
Except she wouldn't, and that confirmed everything.
She didn't just love Hans, she was in love with him.
She couldn't help but feel disgusted with herself at the admission.
What would Elsa say?
The bed creaked as he shifted his weight to sit up. Anna still did not turn to face him. She continued to poke at the fire in front of her. She knew she'd have to eventually look at him. She'd brought him back, she knew everything she needed to from the Troll Wife, it was just that she wasn't ready for him.
She wasn't ready to look at his face or hear what he had to say. Most of all, she wasn't ready for what she had to say to him.
"Did it work?" he asked, followed by a rumpling of shirt fabric and a disappointed sigh. "Oh."
Anna fumed silently, her hands balling into fists. How typical of Hans to worry about himself first. Instead of checking to see if the frozen spot on his chest remained, he should have been asking her how the hell she had survived his betrayal a second time. But he didn't, and it only made Anna more furious that she had hoped otherwise.
He caught on immediately that she was angry and followed up with, "Are you okay?"
"No," Anna bit back, forcing her words to sound civil. Could he have asked anything stupider? "I'm not okay."
"Oh."
"That's all you have to say?" She stared at the flames, trying to keep her voice low and steady, trying to keep her emotions in check. "About any of it?"
"I mean, it's disappointing, for sure, but at the very least, we know the trolls are involved—"
Snapping, she whirled around to face him in a fury. "You gave me to the trolls!"
"Well, yeah, but it was all part of the plan. I wasn't really going to let them have you. I told you to trust me, remember?"
"Plan!" Anna screeched, unable to believe what he was saying. "What plan? You left me! You stepped aside, froze solid, and abandoned me alone in that glade with God only knows how many of them!" She choked back tears. "What happened to keeping me safe?"
"Wait, I froze solid?" Hans sounded genuinely puzzled. "I didn't plan on that, but it was a bit spur of the moment given the circumstances of the situation, so I couldn't have accounted for everything."
Anna ran her hands through her hair, they shook with rage. She felt like tearing out the strands and screaming. He was so goddamned self absorbed! "You don't even have the decency to ask me first how I escaped! You don't even care!"
"The sunrise," Hans answered, his eyes wide. "I had tried my best to plan our arrival at the glade as close to sunrise as possible—as a precaution. Good thing I did too."
"You don't honestly expect me to believe you, do you?"
Hans was quiet for a moment, a sort of stunned silence. "Yes. Anna, I swear to you, I wasn't going to leave you with them. You have to believe me, you—" He stopped dead as he stared at her face, the silence between them engulfing the room with the truth Anna didn't want to say out loud. A truth that could ruin their faulty partnership.
She knew the exact moment he realized it because it was the exact moment she realized he trusted her.
"You don't trust me," he said quietly, more to himself than to her. "I thought—well, I guess it doesn't matter what I thought." He took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly before beginning his explanation. "I know this doesn't look good, okay? But it was an unfortunate accident that I froze. I was only going to trick them—"
"Trick them?" Anna stared at him incredulously. "You can't trick trolls! They are wise beyond measure, they would know right away…" Anna trailed off as more pieces to the puzzle of Hans fell into place.
The trolls had known, had been waiting for him. Waiting for him to return to the forest, to enter their glade, since the time he was just a boy and had eluded their grasp. Liesel had protected him then, keeping him in the cottage safe from the trolls. She'd even told Anna the trolls would have killed him had they gotten to him first. It stood to reason that they would still want him dead.
Oh God.
The truth hit Anna full force. Liesel had protected him again, a second time. It wasn't the trolls that had frozen Hans in the glade like Anna had thought. It was Liesel. The Troll Wife had said it herself, that Hans had failed his test even though he hadn't meant to. It was Liesel who had allowed them to face the trolls as his test. When he'd failed, she'd protected him by freezing him solid. When the trolls had spoken of him needing 'her' protection, Anna had assumed that the 'her' in question was herself, but it was Liesel they were speaking of.
Anna scowled, hating that he was telling the truth, and hating that it was her fault Hans was even back in this forest. She mustered all her anger, and directed it towards him. "I was still bait, and you still used me. You still put my life at risk."
"I didn't want to."
"But you did it anyway."
And that was why he had failed.
Anna turned away from him. How she wanted to just get up and leave. She was so tired of all of this; the curse, her feelings, Hans. Navigating through anything Hans said or did was exhausting, and as much as Anna wanted to believe him, as much as the facts lined up, Anna knew she could never fully trust him. Even when she was positive he was telling the truth, caution still screamed at her because he would still endanger her if the stakes were high enough.
How was she ever supposed to be enough for him? What was she supposed to do? How could she ever possibly convince him, make him see? She was just Anna. Nothing more and nothing less. She was the worst best chance he had.
Hans heaved a sigh, and she heard him flop back down on the bed. "I always get it wrong with you, don't I?"
Anna didn't know how to answer that. Was he trying to do something right? Liesel had said as much to her in the glade. Hans didn't elaborate on his thoughts. She wasn't even sure he had meant to say it out loud, so Anna pretended she didn't hear him.
They sat in deafening silence, neither quite being finished talking to the other, but neither wanting to start up again. They had reached a standstill, an impasse, their partnership balancing on the edge of a knife. Anna had no idea how they were supposed to come back from this. Everything was crumbling to pieces.
"I lied," he said, finally breaking the silence.
"Big surprise," she retorted, immediately regretting her sarcasm. She clamped her mouth shut and stared at the fire. Hans never admitted to lying.
She heard him move again, rolling to his side. She could feel his eyes on her.
"In the dungeon, when I said that I didn't want to know what you'd been up to the past year, I was lying. I loved knowing. I know that when my brothers would return from the sea with news about you, they wanted to rub it in. Wanted to taunt me with it. Wanted it to hurt. But the joke was on them, because no matter the news, good or bad, I craved it. I wanted to know, even if it stung."
"Why?" Anna whispered, not daring to meet his eyes.
"Because…" He sat up, speaking softly, "Being around you made me feel something. Something other than just jealousy or bitterness or contempt. It made me feel alive. Being with you…it was exhilarating. I didn't know I would miss it...that I would miss you." He leaned in closer to her, resting his weight on his elbows, and Anna did everything in her power to ignore the intrusion of her space. "Anna…if I froze solid, how did you unfreeze me this last time?"
Anna bristled at the question, he was much too close. She wanted nothing more than to lean into him, and that was wrong. "I brought you back. What does it matter how I did it?"
"It matters," he answered, his voice oddly quiet.
"It doesn't," Anna said, hoping to have the final say on it. She stood up from her chair, getting some distance between them. Hans pulled back from his lean, sitting up straight on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving her. Anna moved away from the fire, distracting herself by tidying up the dishes she'd left on the table, making sure to keep her back to him.
"You kissed me, didn't you?" he asked, rising from the bed.
Anna stopped, her body going rigid at his words. The teacup in her hand began to shake. "I told you, it doesn't matter how I did it."
"It was a kiss, wasn't it?" He stepped closer. "You kissed me. Even after you thought I'd betrayed you. You thought I'd left you to those trolls, and you still kissed me."
"So?" Anna closed her eyes, he was right behind her now, almost pressed up against her back. She could feel the heat of his body radiating in the small gap left between them. His breath was hot on her bare shoulder as he leaned his head in, almost nuzzling her neck. She bit back a sigh.
"So," he breathed, his arm slowly reaching around her and taking the teacup from her trembling hand, placing the cup down on the table. "I don't know anybody else who would ever do that for me. Just you."
Anna didn't dare move, not that she could without brushing up against him in the process. He had effectively trapped her between himself and the table. She swallowed hard, trying to quell the fire he lit within her. She should push him away, admonish him for behaving in such a forward manner with her, but as loud as her brain was shouting common sense at her, her heart was answering him much louder in consent.
"I didn't know you were in the Southern Isles until they announced you at the ball," he admitted. "Nobody told me. In hindsight, I should have known. They were all so interested in if I'd be attending the ball, but didn't elaborate why. I wasn't prepared, and seeing you again, I…I wanted to be around you so badly." He gave a small laugh. "I spent over half the evening trying to devise a way just to get near you again, and then my stupid brother came along and threw you right into my arms, and you stayed. You stayed with me. I think that's the only time Lennart's pettiness has ever worked in my favour."
"Well," Anna began, trying to dispel the intimate mood with humour. "You were the preferred choice out of the two of you."
Her words had the opposite effect and he touched her then, his face gently nuzzling the tender skin at the crook of her neck. The coarse scratch of his sideburns tickled as he nestled closer. Anna inhaled with a pleasant shiver, titling her head in the opposite direction to give him better access.
He took the invitation without hesitation, his lips brushing softly across her now sensitive skin. "I haven't been able to get you out of my head since I left Arendelle. For the past year, you've done nothing but haunt my thoughts. And I don't know how to make it stop."
Her breath hitched. The longing in his admission called to her. She knew the feeling he'd described only too well. For the past year, he'd dominated her thoughts, her sleep, her daydreams, and no matter who she was with or how hard she had tried, Hans was always there, waiting for her in the wings of her mind.
"Tell me you don't want this," he murmured against her skin. "Tell me it's wrong. Tell me you don't want me, and I'll stop." He nipped her delicately, grazing her neck with his teeth. "Just say it, one word from you, and it's done, I promise. I won't try again."
Anna scrunched her eyes shut tighter. She knew if she did this—if they did this—it would upset the balance and change everything. The aftermath would be disastrous. She'd be ruined for a marriage to anyone else. She would have to tell Elsa. There would be no way Anna could ever hide such a monumental change in her life. No way she could pretend to love anyone but him.
She knew she could never have Hans once and be done with it. One torrid night of passion would never be enough, and yet one, was better than none at all.
"Please, Anna," he rasped, his kisses much more urgent. "Just tell me you hate me, tell me I'm wrong and that there's nothing between us. Tell me, and it's over. I swear to you."
She shook her head no. She couldn't do that. She couldn't possibly let him think that she didn't feel the same. There was no lying anymore, no more denying, no more hiding.
"I want you, Hans."
He choked back a sob of relief, his voice barely audible, "No one has ever wanted me."
There was a world of loneliness in those words, and Anna intended to rectify that. She turned to face him, looking him square in the eye, never surer of her answer.
"I do."
And it was true. She did want him. She'd always wanted him. It had just taken her a heck of a long time to admit it. To accept that after all Hans was and did that she still wanted him. He was a disaster, constantly getting it wrong, forever messing it all up, but she loved him.
And she could see it now, see that despite everything he was, he was trying. Trying to be better, trying to meet her half way, trying to understand what she was to him. Little by little, bit by bit, Hans had been trying. He'd been doing his best for her. And while his best still wasn't good enough, maybe in time it would be. She'd been wrong when she thought Hans would never be more than what he was. He'd been changing the entire time he'd been with her, slowly, in tiny increments, learning from her and growing from his mistakes.
Their lips met instantaneously, and this time, Anna could finally admit that kissing him had never felt more right. Standing on her tippy toes, she slipped her arms around his neck, threading her fingers through his hair as he pulled her tightly against him, deepening their kiss. He moaned softly, the sound muffled by her mouth upon his.
She almost wanted to giggle at his enthusiasm. Hans was much more excitable and unrestrained in his kisses than what Anna was used to in a lover. He moved at a level of intensity that Anna had never experienced before, every kiss thrilling her to the core. Every kiss reminding her of the acute attraction she'd been denying herself. There were so many missed opportunities she felt she had to catch up on.
He kissed her fervently, and Anna responded eagerly in kind.
She had wanted this kiss since the first moment she'd met him. To finally allow it to happen, to let it flourish, to explore how far they could go—this was love. This was what she'd been missing in Kristoff's arms, why it had never felt quite right with him. It had always been too safe, too mild, too sweet. Never crossing boundaries, never testing the limits of what she was or could be.
But this?
This messy, jumbled thing between her and Hans could be true love.
Because this was what Anna was at her core. He brought out the best in her. She was an adventurer, a pleasure seeker, a risk taker, a lover, a fighter. She saw the world with her heart, not her head. Ever since Elsa's frozen summer, Anna had forgotten who she was, forever comparing herself to Elsa and never quite measuring up. She had become so occupied with being like Elsa that she'd lost sight of everything special about herself.
Hans had always been able to see her, that was what he had been trying to say to her that day in the dungeon. He wasn't trying to insult her when he'd told her nobody else saw her for her, he'd been ineloquently trying to tell her that he did. That she had been his preference, not Elsa. Anna didn't need to try and be anything but who she was around him.
Hans knew what she was. She was his hero. He'd all but told her or tried to tell her multiple times over.
He enjoyed her company. He admired her. He respected her ideas—so much that he'd been going along with her ideas with very little resistance, if any at all, right from the moment they had danced at the ball. He wasn't able to show his true affection the way she was used to, the way Kristoff had, but that didn't mean that there wasn't anything there.
Anna may not have had any real magic, but to Hans, she was the most magical creature he would ever know. She was rare. She was special. She was simply Anna, and for him, that was enough. This time around, she was enough.
Everything he couldn't seem to say right or express properly, was crystal clear in his kisses. He was a silent poet with his tongue, a quiet musician with his lips. He tasted of unspoken promises and apologies, a bittersweetness she'd never find anywhere else.
His hands slid softly down her waist, his fingers delicately brushing her buttocks in a feather soft touch that tickled to the point of teasing. Anna leaned into him, enjoying their height difference, his arousal pressing hard into her belly as she awkwardly balanced on her tip toes to keep her lips locked on his.
Hans gave an aggravated groan, before scooping her up in his arms, his palms now firmly digging into her buttocks as he hiked her up high enough to fit against him properly. Anna gasped at the feel of his hardness rubbing against her. She instinctively spread her thighs wider, the slit in her drawers pulling apart as she wrapped her legs around his hips tightly, securing the position.
It felt beyond naughty to be like this with him, to have her nakedness pressed against the taut wool of his trousers, the sensation driving her mad with want. They were so close and yet still so far. It made her dizzy with lust knowing the only barrier stopping them from crossing that line was a bit of fabric between them. Her body thrummed with a heat she'd never known until now, the dull ache in between her thighs quickly turning into an urgent throb.
He whimpered in rapture as she ground her pelvis into him in a desperate attempt to get some sort of relief from the salacity she could no longer quell.
"Oh God, Anna! I—"
She cut him off with her mouth back on his, needing to devour him, needing to taste every inch of his mouth. Needing him to be so much closer than he already was.
He broke off the kiss, panting, his eyes wide and full of stars. "I think I might be in love with you."
It was a clumsy, earnest proclamation. Poorly timed, and poorly worded, and all at once he was that blundering idiot she'd met on the Arendelle docks a year ago.
And it made her want him even more. If that was even possible.
She kissed him harder, shoving her tongue into his mouth with a ferocity that warranted him to move them to the waiting bed as quickly as possible. He stumbled, trying to kiss and move them all at the same time, bumping into almost everything as he clumsily carried her to the other side of the cottage, nearly falling on her with his full weight when they reached the bed.
He was apologizing for his ungainly behaviour while she yanked his shirt up over his head. His hair was wonderfully tussled from the linen, and Anna swore the freckles dotting his face were far more prominent than she ever remembered them. He was no longer ungodly handsome, but painfully adorable. His cheeks were flushed in a blush, his smile sweetly hesitant and self conscious.
And he was absolutely perfect.
And absolutely worth it.
Anna pulled him back down to her, nipping at his neck, but he didn't stay. He was far too eager, much too keen, as though he'd been keeping his desire in check for an eternity only to just come untethered. In the blink of an eye, he slid himself down her body, keeping himself in between her splayed thighs. His fingers moved far more nimbly as he snatched up the cord of her drawers and promptly undid the tie, all but yanking the string completely out from her waistband.
Anna inhaled, biting her lower lip in ardent anticipation. He glanced up at her from in between her thighs, keeping his eyes locked on hers as he tugged her drawers off, throwing the discarded fabric off behind him. His hot breath against her exposed womanhood had her squirming in sheer delight.
She watched with baited breath as he dipped his head down, bringing his mouth down on her in the softest of kisses while never breaking eye contact. His tongue flicked out, his lick unbearably gentle and unbearably slow. Anna gave a salacious moan, arching her hips up to him as his tongue worked her into a state of pure, unadulterated bliss.
His eyes never left hers, creating an altogether higher level of intimacy. One Anna had never known existed until him. He upped his tempo, coinciding with the waves of pleasure building inside her, mounting higher and higher, a crescendo of pleasure until she hit her peak, crying out in ecstasy. When the last few tremors of bliss faded, Hans pulled his head up from her, resting on his elbows. He licked his lips, grinning like a cat that ate a canary.
She supposed he was, and the thought made her giggle.
He even moved like a cat as he slunk himself back up her body. Anna couldn't resist going for the buttons on the fall front of his trousers. He was positioning himself above her so she could get him unbuttoned as quickly as possible when she noticed it. She gasped in surprise.
"Your frozen patch is gone."
Hans blinked, looking at his chest in shock as Anna ran her hand over his skin where the spot used to be. His skin was hot under hers as she grazed her fingers across his chest, his nipples hardening at her touch. His lips quirked up in a half smile, as though he couldn't quite believe it was gone.
"I think you broke my curse."
Anna shook her head. "I don't have any magic."
"I know that. You have something else."
"Like what?" she asked.
"My heart." He looked nervous, his gaze hesitant and vulnerable. "I think I knew it the moment we met at the ball. I just didn't understand it then. The witch couldn't claim my heart, because I had already given it to you. It wasn't mine anymore."
"That's why I shouldn't be," Anna whispered, finally understanding. "Under the conditions of the curse, you weren't supposed to be able to do that. You shouldn't be able to love me, there should be no one but the witch able to hold your heart."
"And you kept it, even at my worst, even—" He looked guilty. "Even when I tried to take it back after the cottage. Everything was my fault, and I knew that—that you were even involved in the first place was because of me. It was my fault the witch wanted you dead, and I thought if I could just take it back…but it only made things worse. She still went after you and I couldn't stop it. But you! You never left me, you never gave up. You always could have, but you didn't. Magic or not, you broke my curse."
Anna shook her head. "We both did. Together. You forget that you kept coming back to me. She could never keep you for long."
"You really are quite warm to snuggle up to," Hans admitted earnestly. "Irresistibly warm. You've no idea how I long to be near you."
She gave him an impish grin, moving her hands back to his trousers, working the many buttons past the fall front open, and deliberately ignoring his hard on jutting out from beneath the modesty panel. "Well, since I'm very good at warming you up, I think we'd better make absolutely sure we've completely thawed your frozen heart."
"I wholeheartedly agree." He sighed, practically purring, his eyes fluttering shut in delight as she fully freed his erection from his trousers. She slipped her hand over him in a teasing motion, eliciting the most divine moan from his throat.
She'd barely held his naked length in her hands before the room suddenly went cooler.
"Anna!"
The sound of Elsa's voice from across the room had Anna and Hans scrambling apart as quickly as humanly possible, though there was no way what they had been doing could possibly be misinterpreted by Elsa.