I do not own or claim to own any rights to Twilight. Thank you, Ms. Meyer for your creation. You've made so many people happy. I do own the rest of this story, so thank you all for respecting my rights.

Bella Swan: The Unwanted Bride

Chapter 21: Absolutions

I took my time getting ready for lunch with Edward. My head was still a bit woozy from that kiss last night, not to mention the lack of sleep it caused. I didn't dress up fancy or anything, but I made sure my hair was freshly washed and that I used extra tooth powder to make my mouth minty fresh—just in case he wanted to taste my lips again.

It was bitter cold and snowy outside, so I bundled up and put on my furry boots. When I had went on my winter wardrobe shopping excursion Alice had insisted that I would need them, and she was right. Chicago in February was cold enough to chill a person to their very bones.

Edward seemed very happy to see me, and gave me a much too brief kiss hello as soon as I walked into his house. After he helped me with my coat, I realized that I couldn't very well walk through his house with sopping wet boots on, so I slipped them off.

"Are you ready for our picnic?" He asked.

"Picnic? In the dead of winter?" I looked out the window at the snow. It didn't sound too appealing.

"Of course. Allow me, Madame."

He took my hand and led me upstairs. I was kind of worried about where we were headed for a moment, but he steered us toward the end of the hall and up to the third floor. In his secret room there was a big picnic basket and two candles in pretty rose colored glass holders sitting on the green rug. The pillows had been moved from in front of the window and were arranged so we could be seated comfortably while we ate. He began to remove dishes from the basket and I sat down and tucked my feet under my skirt.

"What did you cook for us?"

"Um, let's see…spaghetti…um…bread…a relish tray." Everything looked and smelled wonderful.

"You cooked this yourself, huh?"

"Well, I might have had a little help from Mrs. Volturi." We both laughed.

"Who's Mrs. Volturi?"

"Her husband was a client of my father. They just live a few blocks down and my father brought me over there with him a few times. Her house is always full of loud and boisterous people. Mrs. Volturi told me before that she doesn't allow people to go hungry in her house and I knew she would love to help me out with the food. There's always a big pot of sauce bubbling on her stove and people sitting at the table eating. When I asked her if she could make a picnic lunch for the two of us, tears actually came to her eyes and she started talking in Italian. I don't know what she was saying but she went on and on and her husband started looking uncomfortable and finally got up from the table and pulled her into his arms. Of course, while he was hugging her he was rolling his eyes. It was pretty funny."

"Well it was very thoughtful of you to plan a picnic in the middle of winter. I doubt that people who have been married a long time do that kind of thing."

He just shrugged his shoulders and continued setting up our meal. He pulled a bottle of red wine and two delicate, cut crystal wine glasses out of the basket and poured a glass for each of us. Then he dished the food out on our plates and lit the candles. I was really impressed with how thoughtful Edward had been. The heat from the house collected in the attic, and it felt like we really were on a picnic in the middle of summer. Everything was just perfect.

"Mm, this spaghetti is delicious. I've never had a sauce quite like it."

"Mrs. Volturi puts wine in just about everything she cooks."

"That's unusual. Do you know why?"

"If you were married to her husband Aro, you would put wine in everything, too. You can gauge her mood by how much wine is in the sauce."

I laughed "Oh, is he an ogre?"

"Let's just say he was my father's client for a reason."

We talked about Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmet, and all kinds of silly things as we ate lunch. We both agreed that all of the food was tasty. Mrs. Volturi really has a gift. I was delighted when Edward pulled out two canollis from the basket for dessert. They were amazing. What was even more amazing was how Edward looked when he ate his. I don't know why, but I could have watched him eating it all day and not gotten bored. We were done much too soon and Edward picked everything up and put the dishes back in the basket.

I stretched my legs out in front of me and leaned against the window, looking down on the park. The snow was coming down pretty good now and it was so white and picturesque. Smoke was billowing from the chimneys across the park, children were making snow angels, and horses pulling carriages were trotting down the street. I turned to say something to Edward and saw that he was looking at me much like he did that first day we laid eyes on each other at the symphony. He made me feel like I was beautiful.

"Thank you for the picnic Edward, it was lovely."

He gave me what looked like a forced smile and looked down. I saw that he was twisting one of the blue yarn flowers on the carpet with his fingers.

"Bella, I wanted to talk to you about something that's been bothering me for a long time."

I wasn't sure I wanted to hear this. I began to fiddle with the matchbook that he used to light the candles with. The gold lettering stood out on the otherwise plain black matchbook and it read Volturi Bros. Consultants. He gently took them from my hands to get my attention.

"It's about my behavior since you've been here. It's been atrocious. There is a lot I haven't explained to you, and I should have."

I was suddenly very afraid. I was going to argue with him about the fact that I was responsible for his behavior, but something more pressing jumped into my head.

"You're not leaving again, are you?"

"No. Bella, no. I won't ever leave you again…as long as you want me." He ran his hand through his hair and exhaled a long breath. "I suppose that's where I should start…the reason I left."

I suddenly wanted to cry. I didn't want to hear why he left me.

"Edward…"

"Please Bella. I have to say this. When we were up here last time, you told me about your mother, how life was very hard for her because she was divorced. Do you remember?"

I nodded.

"I realized that you were facing that life, too. I can't imagine how frightening it is for a young woman to have to bear. It's scary, isn't it?"

I shrugged my shoulders. It wasn't easy to admit that I was afraid. I could endure that life, but it was not a pleasant future to be sure.

He continued. "Then I wondered if you were returning my affections only because being with me was a less horrible future than being divorced."

"What?"

"I felt like…I was taking advantage of your situation. You were practically a prisoner in my house, and I was forcing my affections on you. It wasn't right, and I'm so sorry."

"Do you really think that Edward? How could you think that?"

"Because that's the truth. It's not like you had anyone else to turn to or somewhere else to go. I'm ashamed of what I did to you. Of the position I put you in—having to chose between me or a life of misery." He suddenly got quiet.

"You thought I only returned your affection because I was afraid of being divorced?"

"Bella, I know you didn't have a scheme or anything like that. I know that you aren't that kind of girl. I just thought that you were trying to keep your promise to Father Seth and…love me like he told you to. That's why I left. I wanted to keep you for my own so badly and I couldn't keep away from you. It was the only option that would ensure that you would be able to get an annulment instead of a divorce. That way, you would be able to say honestly that you were never really married. You would be able to have your pick of suitors, as a beautiful girl like you is supposed to have."

He looked so forlorn and lost.

"Bella, I love you so much that I lost sight of the man I always tried to be. Will you ever be able to forgive me?"

"You love me?"

"I love you utterly and completely."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I thought my heart would pound right out of my chest and I was sure Edward could hear it. He loves me.

Edward spoke again. "Even when I was sick, I had a dream about you. I dreamt that I was watching you leave the hospital. I knew that if I didn't run after you, I would never see you again. I tried to run, but my feet wouldn't move… the next thing I knew, I woke up in the morgue. When I saw you in my house that night, I was sure that I had actually died and gone to heaven."

I scooted up to his side, facing him. I reached up and put my fingers in his hair and brushed his cheek with my thumb. He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand.

I whispered. "Edward Anthony Masen, I love you so much that there haven't been words created to describe it. If you think for one minute that I returned your affections out of fear or what Father Seth said, you are mistaken. Even if you didn't love me back, I love you enough that just being with you for a few months would make any future that I might have worth it."

He pulled my hand down from his hair and kissed my palm reverently.

"You love me? Truly?"

"Don't you feel it in our kisses? Do you think I could fake that? What about you Edward? Are you saying you love me because you're worried about me? Are you just being kind because you have some sense of obligation towards me?"

His hand reached up and he ran his fingertips down the side of my face. The touch was so sweet I had to bite my lip to keep from letting out a sob.

"It's true; I do feel protective of you, but it's not obligation. That's not why I want, or have to be with you. I only know that it would be easier to stop breathing, than to stop loving you."

"Edward, from the moment I saw you, you were my pick of suitors. There has never been, nor will there ever be, another man for me. It's always been you."

Relief swept through my body and tears rolled down my cheeks. I never thought I would hear the words I heard today. Edward placed little kisses all over my face and between each kiss he would say "I love you." I wanted for him to never stop. I felt like we were inside the show globe right here in this room. That we were that man and woman holding hands on the bench. This is where I was content.

I put my arms around his neck and got lost in the bliss of the kisses peppering my face. He gently laid my head down on a pillow and he began kissing my lips. Some kisses were hard and passion filled, some were soft as feathers. He kissed my jaw and my ear and my neck. Since I couldn't reach his lips, I began to kiss him on the neck, too. His skin there wasn't as soft as his lips, but his scent was concentrated and was intoxicating.

One of his hands went to my waist and his thumb slowly stroked my ribs. I wanted to be closer to him so I bent my knee up and ran my foot down his calf. When he took a nibble on my neck I made some really stupid kind of squeak, but I didn't care. It felt incredible. I ran my fingers through his hair and my nails over his scalp, and rubbed his ear with my thumb. I pulled him closer because he loved me and I could. I dared to see how he tasted so stuck the tip of my tongue out and licked him just below his ear. He groaned and grabbed my derrière with his hand and gave it a squeeze. Then he gave my lips a hard kiss and pulled away. His lips were only an inch away from mine and I wanted them closer again.

"I need to get you out of here little lady." His voice was deep and throaty.

He was a complete mess. His hair was every which way from all my tugging on it, his shirt was askew, and his lips were puffy. I could only imagine what kind of state I was in, but I could see that my dress was hiked up to the middle of my thighs and he could see the bows at the clasp of my garters. I suppose that I should have been embarrassed, but I really liked the way he was looking at me. He shook the cobwebs out of his head and slowly smoothed my dress down for me.

"But Edward, we're…married."

He took a deep breath. "Bella, until I actually say the vows, I have no right to…compromise you."

"I've always heard that compromise was good."

He raised an eyebrow at me. Well I tried.

"Edward?"

"Hm?"

"When did you know…everything?"

"When did I know? Let's see…I wasn't one hundred percent sure, but when I saw you at the symphony I hoped beyond hope that you were the girl for me because even with all those people, it was like you were the only other person there. It felt like you were a star that fell from the heavens and I couldn't believe my good fortune that you landed right in front of me. I don't know for sure exactly when I knew I loved you, but that first night, when you helped me upstairs, I wanted to hold you and never let go."

He closed the gap between our lips and gave me a quick kiss before standing and reaching down to help me get up.

"If you're talking about when I knew you were actually telling the truth about why you married me, it was when you told me you were…with child."

He did everything he could not to laugh out loud—but not enough. I threw my napkin at him and started walking toward the door so he couldn't see how embarrassed I was.

"Well I never…"

He ran up behind me and slipped his arms around my waist, pulling my back against his hard chest. He tucked his chin into the crook of my neck. I tried to pull him off of me but his grip never faltered.

His warm breath tickled my ear when he spoke. "When you told me that, I thought you were the sweetest, most beautiful girl I ever met. I knew then that you had me, hook, line and sinker. I also knew then you couldn't tell a lie to save your life." Then he licked my neck just like I had done to him earlier and he winked at me. I shivered.

We went downstairs to the kitchen hand in hand. Edward insisted that he would wash the dishes himself and I advised him that they would need to be soaked beforehand. He walked me back to the Cullen's house and I told him how much I missed him and wanted to be back home with him. He said that he had some things he had to work on before we made any kinds of decisions. He kissed me goodbye on my forehead because, as he put it, my lips were dangerous. He said that he would be busy all evening working on his auto, so I should just stay at Esme's. Carlisle was going to help him and they would probably be up late.

In my room, a million thoughts ran through my mind and all of them revolved around Edward, as usual: How could he possibly not have realized that I was in love with him? Wasn't I obvious enough? Was he silly enough to believe that I only wanted him because I was afraid of being divorced? Why can't I just stay at his house? I want him to taste me again. I want to taste him again. Will he ever want to be married in every sense? What's wrong with his car? I hope Mrs. Wolinski washed his sheets by now.

A/N: I put a 'disclaimer' on chapter 1 for new readers. It says that I had originally published this story with every expectation that NOBODY would ever read it but me, and that it's a first draft.

By first draft, I mean that there have been times (obviously) that I've typed with my eyes closed—literally. (I get blinding migraines from computer screens—again I mean that literally—I can't see when I get them). And perhaps there have been times when I've watched Family Guy or Breaking Bad while I type.

I finally read chapters 1 and 2 and said, "Oh shit" it looks like the person writing this typed with their eyes closed while talking to their boss on the phone (yep, I do that, too, but it works both ways, he says "are you writing your story while I'm trying to talk to you?"). I digress, but since I never read author's notes, I figure nobody's going to read this so it doesn't matter anyway.

My point is that I will eventually go back and edit each chapter. The story will remain the same, it will just be in English-I hope. Speaking of languages, I can't wait until Edward gives Bella French lessons…

You guys must be saints for hanging in there with me.