A/N: OHMYGOD. my baby! my baby!! it's over. ):
Caleb's POV.

Epilogue

Excuse me for this
I just want a kiss
I just want to know what it feels like to touch
Something so pure
Something I'm so sure of
What it feels like to stand outside your door

I'm unworthy
I can see you're above me
But I can be lovely given the chance

Don't move
I want to remember you just like this
Don't move
It's only a breath or two between our lips

I know why you left
I can't blame you myself
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell
I tried to warn you
I've been a mess since you've known me
I can't promise forever
But I'm working on it

If I can't hold you
Can I give you a kiss?
Can I have a kiss?

I see that you're torn
I've got some scars of my own
Seems I want what I know is gonna leave me hungry

Don't move
I need to remember you just like this
I know why you left
I can't blame you myself
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell
I tried to warn you
I've been a mess since you've known me

I can't promise forever
But I'm working on it

If I can't hold you
Can I give you a kiss?

Can I

All I have
All I can give to you I will
Just promise this
If I can't have forever

Can I have a kiss?

I know why you left
I can't blame you myself
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell
I tried to warn you
I've been a mess since you've known me

I can't promise forever
But I'm working on it

If I can't hold you
Can I give you a kiss?
Can I give you a kiss?

Can I, can I
Can I have a kiss?

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the newest single by Izzy Swan, lovingly entitled Can I have a Kiss (Caleb's Song), I think what everyone out there is wondering is just who is this…"

I sighed as I downed my coffee, rubbing the stubble growing on my chin tiredly, as I stared at the white top of the table. Everywhere I went, Bella's face smiled at me, reminders of a past that I was so desperately trying to forget. The voice floating from the radio faded into background noise as I slid deeper into the uncomfortable seat at the diner across the street from the hospital where my grandfather lay, dying.

Bella, my mind whispered softly as the lyrics to her song played in my mind. I still missed her, every single day, and it made me slightly, somewhat happier, if only a little, to know that she missed me too. That I had left at least, a deep enough impression on her that she would write a song about me. But she was happier now, happy with Edward, and try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to sneer his name, because even though I was hurt, it didn't matter.

They were meant to be. I had known that from the very beginning, and yet, I had still gone on to ask her out. I had her for a few months at least, even if I didn't have all of her.

The gulf in my heart was painful, it was mind numbing, I wasn't sure if I would ever heal from this, but there were more pressing matters on hand. My grandfather's imminent death for one thing.

I knew I needed help. One person couldn't possibly hurt so much, they would go insane. I had spent most of my life dealing with pain, trying to forget it, so I was an expert when it came to delegating the pain, but all of this, it was all just too much. Grandpa's death meant one thing; it was time for me to step up to the plate and be the next head of a million dollar empire. It was time for me to quash every feeling I had and get down to business.

At the same time, I was quietly relieved. This meant that I had work to do. It meant that I had less time to deal with the imminent pain that I would have to deal with once he passed. Grandma's death had taken it's toll on grandpa, and it killed me inside to know that he was suffering, especially since I now understood how he was feeling, I could only imagine how much worst his felt, especially since his love was longer. I wrapped my hands around the ceramic cup, trying to warm myself with the last dregs of coffee.

"Can I get you a new cup?" A soft voice asked me, I looked up, into the most piercing blue eyes I had ever seen.

Tiredly, I nodded my head, glancing back out the window towards the hospital as she shuffled away.

"Here you go," she said as she slid a fresh cup towards me. I glanced up and smiled slightly, a practiced smile. I couldn't find it within me to smile anymore, now that my reason for living was gone. I wanted to resent Cullen, for having everything that I didn't have. Parents who were still alive, siblings, Bella… But I couldn't.

Try as I might, I just couldn't.

I tried to understand the earth-moving feeling that I had felt with Bella, I tried to remember the perfection that we had, but the feelings were blurred, the lines were fading and the dream was becoming just that, a dream. I was strongly afraid, because I'd once read somewhere that after a while, you begin to doubt that the miracle ever existed. And I was doubting.

I was expecting it to fade away like the faces of so many forgotten strangers, and that scared me, so I held on tighter. I wanted to hold on. I couldn't forget Bella, because she had been the only good thing to enter my life in a long time.

I took a deep breath, inhaling the coffee. The waitress slid into the booth, opposite me, I glanced up tiredly. Her lips were set, her eyes determined, and my mind registered vaguely that her beautiful, vibrant red hair contrasted sharply with her brilliant blue eyes.

She took a deep breath, and my eyes were involuntarily drawn to her lips, beautifully plump, slightly chapped. "You're going to be alright," she finally said, her words coming out in a whoosh. I flinched visibly, and her cheeks turned pink, but she ploughed on resolutely. "I just know it." She finished.

All I could do was stare at her. I suddenly felt like yelling. Who did she think she was?! Telling me that she just knew I was going to be alright, did she even know what I was going through? And I wanted to yell at her, and suddenly, my heart felt considerably lighter, I got giddy, because I wanted to yell.

The play of emotions across my cheek must have startled her, but she sat across me, beautifully resolute in finishing the one sole thing she must have been steeling herself to do all morning, because she took another deep breath, put her hand gently across the top of mine and continued in another whoosh of breath, "I've been observing you, as stalkerish as that sounds, for the past two weeks now, and though I can't even begin to fathom your pain, I can see it in your eyes. But I just want you to know that time heals everything, life will go on, and you'll be all right. You will be, because people like you will always be alright."

I wanted to laugh, to correct her and tell her that 'stalkerish' wasn't even a word, and did she honestly believe in the terribly cliché that time healed all wounds, and why did those words sound so familiar? Weren't they from a song? Most of all, I wanted to ask her how she could be so sure that I would be alright when there weren't any guarantees in the world.

She sat across me, silently biting her bottom lip, her eyes worried, deep in thought, and my hand tightened on hers. She glanced at me, startled, her lips parting into a silent 'o', and I glanced at her through my lashes.

"I'm Caleb," I said finally, my voice hoarse from the lack of use, and her face lighted up into a beautiful, soft smile.

"I'm Liz."

"Liz," I whispered, and she smiled at me some more, before a bell pinged and she stood up.

"I have to go," she rolled her eyes, "customers to attend to, tables to bus, you get the story," she laughed towards the end.

I smiled at her, completely enamored by her un-bitter attitude towards her life. I stood up, lifted her hand and gently brushed my lips across her knuckles, chuckling lightly at the way her eyes unfocused a little and her cheeks flushed crimson.

"Thank you," I whispered, and she nodded, still with a glazed look on her face, and I walked out of the diner, headed towards the hospital, with a sudden purpose in my step. For so long now, I had been fighting the world.

I had been fighting to remember Bella, to love Bella always, but even though I did still love her, I was ready to let go now, and the world got its shine back. All I needed was the push in the right direction by a waitress who was bubbly and optimistic.

I grinned as I silently realized that I would be going back there for a long, long time. Most people had lives that fell into a certain order. In my world, that order had never existed, I had a job that I didn't want, a family that was almost non-existent and some friends I hadn't thought about in forever.

Most people have a web of key persons that connected them to the rest of the world, and those relationships were what grounded and bound them to one another.

In my world, the strings had been sliced, viciously shredded and trampled upon by my own foolish first love, and by Bella.

The girl who had shaken my web and then fled into the Twilight, with her converse sneakers pounding on asphalt, one foot after another. Bella had moved my world, she had shook my earth and made my heart pound, but did any of that even really matter?

"Mr. Matthews?" A soft voice called, and I looked up, noting instantly the subdued face of the nurse, and the flurry of activity within the room that I had left only half an hour ago.

My heart froze and I stared, unable to move. Fear.

"I'm sorry Mr. Matthews, he's gone." The doctor said, placing his hand on my shoulder as a sign of condolence. I pushed past him into the ward; where my grandfather lay on the bed, silent, still, warm.

The face of the man of had been there for me always, who had picked me up and swung me upon his shoulders when I was younger, who had given me my first car, taught me how to ride a Harley, the fine art of picking ladies up, who had yelled at me when I first lost my virginity and then proceeded to lecture me about treating women with respect, the man who had held me as I cried over the loss of my parents, who had never once blamed me for the loss of his own son, and I mourned and became bitter. The man who had lost everything, including a living grandson because said grandson had been a zombie, and finally, finally, after an eternity of nothingness, the tears began to fall. And I sobbed because I was just so confused. My heart felt as though it had been ripped open again, and nothing seemed to make sense, and I was just burning.

Forever burning. I felt onto his hand, wondering when it even became so frail and so old. The crinkle of paper on his lap caught my eye, and I looked at it, blinking several times to clear the sheen of tears blurring my sight.

On it, was my grandfather's elegant script, and all it said was, "Caleb, I love you. Be happy."

"I love you too grandpa, I'm so sorry!" I sobbed, clenching the paper in one hand, the other, holding onto his resolutely, too afraid to let go, too broken to care about anything else, just wanting the silence that came from being in a presence that understood me. And he did. He always had.

And I was sorry. Sorry that I had allowed my grief over Bella to take over my life, costing me the last moments I had with my grandfather. I sighed. I couldn't blame her, I couldn't blame anybody, I thought of Liz, with her beautiful attitude towards life and I began to smile.

Grandfather's words began to lodge themselves in my brain. All he had ever wanted was for me to be happy, and the only thing I could repay him with, was to be happy. To live life to the fullest, to dream big, to do everything I had been going to do before I had broken my own heart, because that was what I had done. Bella hadn't broken it, I had broken it myself, but now, I was ready to move on forward, one step at a time, and I knew that I had to have Liz in my life.

I needed her in my life.

And in one of those moments where you gain sudden insight, I kissed my grandfather's forehead, and headed out the door to deal with a reality that I was going to try to make sense of, always, one step at a time.

disclaimer: song is Can I Have A Kiss by Kelly Clarkson, and I don't own Twilight, only the characters in this chapter. :P
BTW!! This is important, this chapter was a dedication to Iz-Belle91, who has been an amazing, amazing reviewer. (: And so, this is for you, and just a little FYI, the character of Liz is Iz-Belle91. For obvious reasons, I couldn't use her author name, so I used Liz. :D