"I have to get going," She sighed and threw her legs over the bed and stood up. "Er, have you seen my shirt?" She asked awkwardly, and folded her arms across her chest like she just realized that she was only wearing a tank top. I reveled silently in how good she looked but snapped out of it before she noticed and freaked out on me.
"I'm not sure. Check under the bed, you threw it over there somewhere before you raped my mouth." I smirked and she blushed violently and ducked down to look for her shirt. She stood up- shirt in hand and quickly threw it on.
"I'm sorry about what happened last night, Edward." She said with no reason at all. I quickly stepped over to her and leaned in to whisper in her ear.
"Bella, it was amazing." I whispered and she shivered in my arms.
"Er. I really have to get going." She said and stepped out of my touch.
"Of course. Let me walk you to the door. Do you need a ride?" I asked while opening my bedroom door and motioning for her to go ahead of me.
"No I'm fine. I'll walk, I need time to think." Think? Think about what? About us? Was there an us? We needed to talk about this shit and fast. I nodded quickly and followed behind her on the stairs. I walked ahead of her and opened up the front door.
"Edward can I ask a favour?" She asked quietly and it seemed like she was afraid I would say no.
"Anything."
"Can you please come to my window tonight? I have a feeling Mom is going to be on the warpath and I think we have some things to talk about don't we." All of that came out in one huge breath and I had to focus to keep up.
I nodded at her request and she sighed a breath of relief.
"Please tell Emmett goodbye for me, and tell Alice thanks for being so kind." I nodded.
"Bye B!" Emmett screamed from the living room and Bella jumped a foot in the air and clutched at her heart. She shook it off and chuckled to herself.
"Bye Edward." I leaned down to kiss her but she moved her head so I ended up kissing the corner of her jaw. I looked down at her confused and she had a pained expression on her face.
"We both know that's a bad idea right now Edward." She whispered while looking down. With that she was out the door and down the steps. I closed the door and leaned against it. I shook my head and walked into the living room where Emmett was sitting on the sofa in black sunglasses and nursing a cup of coffee.
"How's the hangover dude?" I smirked.
"Ugh. Do you have to talk so loudly?" He groaned. "What about you? Don't you have a damn hangover?"
"Yes, but I'm not being a big baby about it." I said and walked into the kitchen to get something to eat. Emmett followed me behind me and sat down at the breakfast bar.
"Sorry about Rosalie." Emmett said randomly. "You know how she can be." He added apologetically.
"It's fine. I sort of expected it and warned her about it." I shrugged and got out the items to make a sandwich.
"You like her don't you?" He said confidently, like he already knew the answer.
"Why do you say that?" I stalled.
"Because of the way you look at her. It's the same look Jasper gives Alice, and the look I give Rose. And plus I heard you guys in the hall." He laughed.
"So what if I like her then? Would it be such a bad thing?" I said defensibly.
"Calm down dude. You can like or love anyone you want bro."
I didn't love Isabella Swan. I liked her, sure. But I didn't love her. Or did I?
"Now make me an Omelet." Emmett said, pulling my out of my revelation. I snorted.
"Make one yourself you lazy asshole." I grabbed a plate and put my sandwich on it and left the room. I walked up the stairs and into the piano room.
It had been a while since I actually played my piano. I sat down at the bench and raked my fingers over the keys- barely touching them. I pressed down on the first key slowly and let the sound echo into the room. I started playing some of the songs I had written for Esme. The song morphed in a softer melody, a quieter one that reminded me of Bella. I stopped for a moment and started playing 18th Floor Balcony. I probably played for hours.
There was a timid knock at the door before it opened.
"It's nice to hear you finally playing again, Edward." My mom said and sat down beside me on the bench. 18th Floor Balcony slowly morphed into one of her favourite songs that I had written just for her. Half way through she dabbed at her eyes. She always cried when I played for her.
"Thank you." She whispered and hugged me softly followed by a kiss on the cheek.
"I came in here to tell you to come help me with dinner." She said and stood up.
"Okay, Mom," I said and stood up and followed behind her and into the kitchen, where Emmett was already standing at the counter cutting up some leafy green thing. Mom handed me a wooden spoon and told me to keep stiring whatever was in the huge boiling pot. I looked over at the clock hanging on the wall and saw that it was already five-thirty. I promised Bella I'd be at her house at midnight. I was almost counting down the hours. Almost.
XX
After a boring dinner with my parents and Emmett I headed upstairs to my room and flopped down in the middle of the bed. I rubbed my eyes with the heal of my hands and thought about all the shit going on in my life that I had to figure out soon. Time went by slowly, I did things to try to occupy myself but it didn't work for long. I found myself pacing the length of my room over, and over again. Finally it was acceptable enough to leave the house and go to Bella's and not be too early. My parents were already sleeping so it would be easy to sneak out. I grabbed my car keys and was out the front door by the time someone could hear me.
The drive to Bella's was like a second nature. I didn't have to think about it at all. I parked near the forest by her house. I climbed up her tree easily and then peered into her window cautiously. She was sitting on her bed with her nose in her book. She occasionally looked up to look at the time- sighing everytime. She was just as anxious as I was. I tapped on her window twice and her head snapped up. She threw the duvet off and half ran to the window- tripping over her clothes that were strewn out on the floor. She opened up the latch on the window and pulled it open and stepped back. I climbed through the window.
"Hi." She whispered.
"Hi." We stood there staring at each other the tension around us was palpable. She turned around and climbed back on the bed and motioned for me to sit beside her. I sat down and she snuggled into my side. That shocked me for a moment but I put my arms around her pulling her closer. She smelled like strawberries and mint.
"How was your afternoon?" I pressed.
"It was fine, I read all afternoon. Mom barely noticed I was gone." She said.
"So didn't freak out at you? That's a first." I snorted and she smiled into my shirt.
"Let's stop beating around the bush Edward. We need to figure out what's going on between us." She sighed and pulled away. She moved to the end of the bed so she could look at me.
"I was afraid you'd say that." I muttered and she nodded. "Bella, I think you know exactly what's going on. You know exactly how I feel about you, but I don't know how you feel about me." I said and ran my hand through my hair; frustrated.
"That's the thing Edward! I don't know how I fucking feel." Tears pooled in her eyes and she quickly blinked them back. "I'm not very good with interpreting my emotions, Edward." She said violently and fisted the purple duvet around her. I leaned forward and placed my palm on her cheek and she softened at my touch.
"Do you feel that Bella? How you calm down when I touch you? You turn to me of all people when you feel upset. You fucking kissed me for god sakes. How do you not know how you feel?" I said softly but strongly.
"Edward, I'm scared. I'm fucking scared okay! I don't know what you want from me. For the millionth time, I'm not like those other girls you've been with." I grabbed her hand and started rubbing circles into her palm with my thumb. I grabbed her face with both of my hands and pressed my lips to hers. We pulled apart because we needed air. I pressed my forehead to hers. She was perfect. She was my Bella.
"I love you." I whispered, and she sucked in a breath and pulled away from me. She looked into my eyes, panicking and not knowing how to react.
A/N: Hello Lovlies! I know I missed a week of updating but here I am! Again, I've just been so busy with school, and other issues but I try to write every free moment I get. Again thank you for reading, I love you all! We're almost at the end! Just a couple maybe 10-ish chapters left but don't hold that against me! Again, thanks for reading, and I love you all.
Forever Yours, -SweetestBitch xo